tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-20665844095101080392011-11-29T20:15:38.401-06:00Tales of a gremlin wrangler. Daily nonsense, regular madness, occasionally a serious thought. But only occasionally.carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.comBlogger569125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-6842105599528268152011-07-26T17:47:00.003-05:002011-07-26T17:47:48.947-05:002011-07-26T17:47:48.947-05:00

Dear Poor, Sad, Neglected, Degenerate Shoppers, Please don't faint. I know it's been months since I've given you any fresh advice. I know you must feel slighted in the worst possible way. I'm not sure that we sell smelling salts at The Market, and if you faint from surprise at my writing return, then I will likely have to call the ambulance people to come attend to you and everyone else in the

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-52447887693176568192011-07-26T17:47:00.002-05:002011-07-26T17:47:41.170-05:002011-07-26T17:47:41.170-05:00

Dear You Know Who You Are, Who's ready for another round of shopper reformation? I know I am. Let's do it. To the two Sassy Sistahs clothes shopping after I clocked out: I've seen you two before, and while I can't say that you're super friendly, I can't say that you were ever rude. Maybe after 11:05 P.M. you let the cranky out. Remember that sassy thing you said to me? I'll replay it for

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-23945122980618872712011-07-26T17:47:00.001-05:002011-07-26T17:47:31.882-05:002011-07-26T17:47:31.882-05:00

Here's a nice re-run from Thanksgiving 2008. I pinky swear to write a new one really soon. Dear Thanksgiving Shoppers, This just in: I will not be there to see your Thanksgiving faces when you haphazardly stroll into The Market that night. But when you goons do come in for that last can of cranberry sauce, do me a favor, eh? Be nice to the poor chaps that do have to work on Thanksgiving.

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-82178970955714636462011-07-26T17:47:00.000-05:002011-07-26T17:47:13.727-05:002011-07-26T17:47:13.727-05:00

*I know what I said in my last post. But really, I've been posting them here for so long that I couldn't resist.* Dear Peeps, Sometimes it’s like that Phil Collins song, “I can feel it coming in the air tonight, oh Lord.” I don’t fancy Phil for the most part, but maybe he spent some time working with the public before he penned these lyrics. Maybe, even though he usually bores me to tears

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-24518702914692633242011-07-26T17:46:00.001-05:002011-07-26T17:46:50.458-05:002011-07-26T17:46:50.458-05:00

Dear Beloved Customers, I labeled this volume 84. Because of my highly anal nature when it comes to facts, I feel I must add a footnote that I did try to count all the volumes because I am all about the accuracy. I must confess that the ADD made me lose count several times and out of frustration, I am using a guesstimate to start keeping track. Rest assured that it is a close guesstimate. I'm

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-38630789622480768642011-07-26T17:46:00.000-05:002011-07-26T17:46:20.731-05:002011-07-26T17:46:20.731-05:00

Dear Readers of my Nonsense, It's Christmas Day. It was a good one. The fact that I did not have to deal with any delusional/meanie heads/hoochie mamas/screaming kids up past their bedtimes breakdancing on The Market's floor, helped immensely. Sometimes I like to read back through my letters to you, if only to remind myself that there was a day when I could string more than three coherent words

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-50775990062929765892011-07-26T17:44:00.000-05:002011-07-26T17:44:17.732-05:002011-07-26T17:44:17.732-05:00

Dear Customers, Please try not to be too shocked. A lot has transpired since we last had one of our chats. For one, I'm not a cashier anymore and while I may still be friendly for the most part, I can also be your worst nightmare. It all depends on you and your attitude. You see, when you decide to harass my cashiers or customer service people, I get to put the smack down. That's right. But

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-76538144820454764922011-07-26T17:43:00.001-05:002011-07-26T17:43:55.263-05:002011-07-26T17:43:55.263-05:00

Dear Holiday Crazed Shoppers, My own dear little gremlins have been in a frenzy of fighting lately. The at-each-others-throats kind of frenzy. It reminded me that there may be some of you out there that are unsure how to navigate the Sea of Humanity during this blessed time of year. Everyone is busy and Christmas doesn't bless any of us with extra time to get that extra stuff done. Extra stuff+

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-42335296490137969412011-07-26T17:43:00.000-05:002011-07-26T17:43:34.301-05:002011-07-26T17:43:34.301-05:00

Yeah, it's a rerun. But at least it's something, no? Most Highly Esteemed Customers, It's been awhile since I filled several pages in my notebook with your antics. Not all bad! No worries! I'm not always coming after you with the big guns. For example, a good majority of you ask me how I am before I can get to it. Which isn't saying much because while I'm happy to greet you with a "hello",

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-49305626356341409512011-03-24T11:26:00.003-05:002011-03-24T13:31:08.810-05:002011-03-24T13:31:08.810-05:00

writing here has been a blast, but I'm ready for a new chapter. However, due to the personal nature of my new blog, I will be giving the link out by request only. Yes, that means potential awkwardness for someone I might not give it to, but if you're a woman in particular, I will be happy to give it to you. I'm not as conservative as I used to be. I wanted a place where I could be more honest.

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-25079803832408683122011-03-15T19:51:00.003-05:002011-03-15T19:58:11.028-05:002011-03-15T19:58:11.028-05:00

i don't think there's anything more magical than a purple starfish...except maybe me out running and tackling this guy, in front of a park full of people.aw yeah. suckah.

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-47398122832570603152011-02-26T10:01:00.003-06:002011-02-26T10:28:34.522-06:002011-02-26T10:28:34.522-06:00

Nothing brings back those old childhood memories of crushing on someone like when your own gremlins start going through it. Since our gremlins are just this year experiencing public school for the first time, this phenomenon has come out with a vengeance. How stupid I was to expect other issues to battle after their entry into large groups of their peers. Battles like bullies, germs and blatant

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-86846200613158764282011-02-16T07:11:00.004-06:002011-02-16T07:36:48.910-06:002011-02-16T07:36:48.910-06:00

I was the kid who had imaginary friends at least until age 11. And they weren't made up ones either. Nope, I stole my friends from tv show characters. We only got 3 channels out in the sticks, but that was enough to cast my little gang of cohorts. It would make my shame complete to tell you who they were. I'm not sure I'm ready to do that, so let's just say there were a few people from Happy Days

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-61035144497247380892011-02-03T08:12:00.013-06:002011-02-03T09:02:23.181-06:002011-02-03T09:02:23.181-06:00

Since it's been awhile, I thought an update of sorts was in order. So you know what I'm dealing with lately. I started this blog eons ago and people have gotten bigger, and so much smarter, while I, of course, have gotten dumber and more boring. I am not working at Walmart anymore. Yeah, I can say the name now. In fact, I took a risk and quit all part time jobs because it was getting too hard to

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-51208007375638062162011-01-31T07:18:00.003-06:002011-01-31T07:44:31.014-06:002011-01-31T07:44:31.014-06:00

You know, it's amazing, the power of candy. I've long since used it for bribery and the like, but it wasn't till yesterday that I realized it's full potential. It wasn't a horrible day, but rather, one that flirted with horrible and made my eye twitch a bit. Thanks to winter, the gremlins have been extra gremliny lately, threatening to eat each other just to get some peace.I found myself

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-57269129932872883192011-01-27T13:06:00.003-06:002011-01-27T13:10:15.332-06:002011-01-27T13:10:15.332-06:00

so, I never write here anymore. I really don't write anywhere since my life seems to be consumed with my photography passion these days. My business is going well, but sometimes I revisit my writings here and wish desperately to have something witty and funny to write here. These things come and go. In the meantime, I've republished all the cashier letters. That adventure of trying to sell a book

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-77111189124918200222010-05-13T19:59:00.000-05:002010-05-13T19:59:39.451-05:002010-05-13T19:59:39.451-05:00

He amuses me.

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-41616047889519570402010-04-25T19:11:00.004-05:002010-04-25T19:24:31.105-05:002010-04-25T19:24:31.105-05:00

So, I promised some peeps I would post this recipe, although it is astonishingly simple and easy, I feel like a goon doing so.On a side note I found it amusing that some of you who never heard of such a thing got strange mental pictures involving fully set jello atop cakes. And yes, that would be gross.Nevertheless, here is how I make Jello Poke Cake.You'll need a box of cake mix, a box of jello

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-55831749901437125062010-04-11T22:54:00.003-05:002010-04-11T23:14:21.134-05:002010-04-11T23:14:21.134-05:00

Kids tend to outgrow their cutesy baby names by the time they're three. Not this guy.I think he just keeps getting cuter by the minute. Seriously. I leave for work and he never cries, he's just so big with the "bye mom!" Except it's "bye mom" times 57, because I guess it doesn't count unless you say it and say it and say it.When I get home, he does this shocked maneuver that involves his whole

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-41923102839844692302010-03-30T08:55:00.004-05:002011-07-04T11:51:13.010-05:002011-07-04T11:51:13.010-05:00

originally posted May 2008Dear I Haven't Forgotten About You Customers,I know it's been a couple of weeks since I last wrote to you, but I'm not really going to apologize. The first reason being that you're likely rejoicing over the break from my helpful advice. One can only take so much instruction before one implodes. And who's going to clean up that mess? Not me.The second reason being that

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-16716252171327277702010-03-29T22:27:00.002-05:002010-03-29T22:30:32.012-05:002010-03-29T22:30:32.012-05:00

So I'm going to give Levi a shot at this week's challenge at I ♥ Faces.Visit I ♥ Faces to see more great B&W's this week!

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-64968167564468802612010-03-14T13:37:00.002-05:002010-03-14T13:50:49.533-05:002010-03-14T13:50:49.533-05:00

My older children are like those people who don't have kids who think they know everything about parenting. Or the first time parent whose kid is 7.5 days old and is never going to let them drink soda or sleep on dirty sheets.No offense to any of you reading who might fall into this category. I'm sure you'll find out what I mean soon enough.Since there is an age difference of 10 years, 8 years

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-3511239587049405752010-02-24T11:29:00.004-06:002010-02-24T12:01:26.560-06:002010-02-24T12:01:26.560-06:00

The other day when I was cleaning photos off my computer I came across this forgotten dandelion that of course I meant to do something with. I probably never got to it because I take way too many dandelion pictures and was bordering on overkill.Here is the shot SOOC. I really do like it, but had an idea in my head for it.First I ran the CoffeeShop Vintage Honey action on it.When you run that

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-57345686713753966202010-02-21T09:59:00.001-06:002010-02-21T09:59:37.908-06:002010-02-21T09:59:37.908-06:00

Here are just a few more Jackisms from my third born.*********You don't push a woman's dog.**********Xavier definitely needs his tonsils out. They're making his head look FAT.************You know how Baby Einstein says it makes babies smarter? Well it doesn't. It just makes them jealous....cuz of all the toys on there.

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2066584409510108039.post-63993283237201142862010-02-16T09:18:00.004-06:002010-02-16T09:22:18.836-06:002010-02-16T09:22:18.836-06:00

Because of this sort of thing....I only ever feel like doing this sort of thing...Spring? Do you still exist?

carriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02449987730223591945noreply@blogger.com5