well, it’s been a spell, hasn’t it.

i have notes and stuff put together for a new “season”, but i’m not going to do that. and by that, i mean this.

looking at what this has become, and what i have put together for future episodes, it appears that my primary subject matter is to rip things that are made by others.

i don’t want to be that guy.

i like making stuff too. and i haven’t done much in the way of making stuff in the last few years. i used to draw, oil paint, play music, write, etc. but i haven’t done hardly any of those things in way too long.

so what place do i have tearing apart the things that other people make?

i don’t want that to be what my kids see in me. i want them to see someone who makes things, so that’s what i’m going to do.

i’m not saying i will never put a podcast together again. but it won’t be this one. i want to thank you for ever giving me a second’s worth of your time. it means the world to me.

i am going to start something new very soon, and i am very excited about it.

do i want to be a pretentious, artsy-fartsy douche? no, but it’s kinda who i am, so….

as seen from my parking lot at work. I have blocked out the license plate…mostly so that you might imagine it to say something like “asshat”.

we’ll blend right in

the ny times reports that spies are using popular online games to monitor unsavoury groups.

uh huh.

which is the more likely scenario:

1) al qaeda, the russian mob, and the galactic fucking empire are using online games to facilitate the doing of their dirt, or

2) a bunch of gaming nerds have figured out how to convince the united states and british governments to pay them to play video games all day, whilst simultaneously gaining the ability to claim that they are employed by clandestine services when speaking with female prospects, otherwise known as “sweet chicks”?

my money is on number 2. which, coincidentally, is exactly what this smells like.

image credit: By Elvis untot (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0 or GFDL], via Wikimedia Commons

wherein we (me) discuss self-pardoning waving tactics, hankerings for arcade games, dick transplants, and the demise of twitter.

tonight we went to our local big-box-membership-buy-in-bulk retailer, bundled to the hilt to shield ourselves from the cold and wind.

one of the features i enjoy about this particular establishment is that running right down the heart of their massive parking lot, there exists a walkway which is guarded on both sides by parking curbs and parked cars. it serves as a measure of protection against an unfortunate run-in with your fellow patrons’ automobiles.

as we left the store, we again took advantage of the relatively safe walkway. to my dismay, not a stone’s throw from the exit of the building, 3 shopping carts lay abandoned in the somewhat narrow pedestrian corridor.

these three monuments to the self-absorbed were all within 20 feet of each other.

we steered wide around them, playing that familiar game of “no, you go ahead” with people on their way into the store.

as we neared our car, we were passed up by a familial group; a father, not much older than myself, his daughter of about 10, and a much younger child riding in a cart.

when they were about 3 parking spaces ahead of us, they had to change course to avoid another 2 shopping carts that had been left in empty parking spaces.

one of the carts had succumbed to the wind and began moving toward them.

as we were loading our car up, i noticed that the daughter was walking briskly back towards the two carts.

apparently her father, no doubt one of the last decent people in the portland metropolitan area, had decided to teach her a lesson that at least 5 of his fellow shoppers had missed.

that lesson is that you don’t leave shit in people’s way. you don’t inconvenience others to serve your own convenience. you don’t place things where they may cause injury to persons or property.

in short: don’t be a dick.

at no point in this enormous asphalt wasteland does it occur that you are more than 100 feet from a shopping cart corral. surely your $90 “snug-fit, sta-dri” hand crafted fleece can shelter your body from the cold long enough to walk the cart home, before returning to the comfort of your vehicle, which you no doubt have parked like an asshole.

it’s not as if you are braving himalayan whiteout conditions so terrible that you must seriously entertain the notion of eating your sherpa.

you are trading your humanity to save yourself the hassle of traversing 100 feet in 40 degree weather with an 11 mph crosswind.

fuck you.

a 9 minute explanation of why i will never wave at anyone again.

side note: never, under any circumstances, ever search for “pre-human” on wikimedia. ever!

warning: there’s a reason i don’t get paid for this. but it’s been a long time, and i needed to take a swing, hit or miss.

a masterful dissertation on freedom, choice, and not being a total fucking dickhead.

idiotic things are afoot on the freeways of rural washington.

there is no better way to screw up your neighbor’s day. well, maybe.