Gretchen Rubin

The Hidden Happiness Habit: Why Getting Organized Feels Better Than a Vacation

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Tue, 12 May 2026 17:09:25 +0000

Note: This is a sponsored post in partnership with Inspired Closets. All reviews and opinions expressed in this post are based on my personal view.

For years, I’ve been fascinated by a simple but powerful truth: for most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm. More than it should. After all, in the context of a happy life, a crowded closet or a messy desk seems like a minor issue, but over time, that disorder weighs us down.

When I’m surrounded by a mess, I feel restless and unsettled. When I clean up that mess, I’m always surprised by the disproportionate energy and cheer I gain. A friend once told me, “I finally cleaned out my fridge, and now I know I can switch careers.” I knew exactly what she meant.

At home, at work, and in life, when we get control of our stuff, it often makes us feel more in control of our lives generally—and that shift makes a direct and meaningful difference to our happiness and wellbeing.

A new survey from Inspired Closets conducted by research firm Dynata, puts compelling data behind what I’ve long observed. The research surveyed over a thousand people about their relationship with organization—specifically closet organization—and how it affects their daily lives. The findings reveal how deeply organization is tied to mood, identity, relationships, and the quality of everyday life. Here are the findings I found most illuminating—and some tips for how to put them into practice.

Starting Small Can Have Big Payoffs

One of the most common reasons people stay stuck in disorganization isn’t laziness — it’s feeling overwhelmed. The prospect of tackling an entire closet feels so enormous that we do nothing. But I’ve found that starting with even one small, contained area—a single shelf, one drawer, a pile of shoes—creates a feeling of accomplishment that gives people the energy and confidence to continue.

In the hustle of daily life, shoes can be one of the most visible reminders of order (or disorder). For nearly half of survey respondents (48%), weekday mornings are when organization affects them most. A pile of disorganized shoes by the door, or a jumbled heap at the bottom of a closet, can make this time of day feel even more chaotic.

Tip: If you’re looking for a place to start, consider tackling your shoe area. Spending even just a few minutes so that shoes are displayed, paired, and accessible can create a sense of calm and control to start the day.

Tip: Do a ten-minute tidy-up. Choose a single shelf, a drawer, a pile of shoes—and spend just ten minutes bringing it to order. Don’t worry about the rest. Just finish that one thing, then pause and notice how you feel. That sense of deep satisfaction is often enough to make you want to keep going.

There’s No “Right Way” to Organize Your Space

Just as there is no “best” or “right” way to build a happy life, there is no “best” or “right” way to organize your home—only what works for you. When your space is designed to reflect how you actually live, it cuts down on the amount of effort, time, and decision-making required for your daily tasks. A system that gives everything a specific place makes it easier to know what you have and where it is, creating a better flow to your day and routine. Of the survey respondents who had organized their closets, more than 80% reported a transformation to their mood every time they used it. The emotional payoff of having a space that works for you, not against you, should not be underestimated.

Tip: Use the Strategy of Convenience to stay organized. The Strategy of Convenience is simple: make it easy to go right, and hard to go wrong. Look at where things pile up in your home—it’s a sign your setup isn’t matching how you actually live. When your space is designed around your daily routine, maintaining order stops feeling like a chore and starts happening almost automatically.

Our Spaces Tell a Story About Us

Nearly 60% of survey respondents reported feeling like disorganization influences how others perceive them. In my own experience, I find this to be true. When my space is in order, it relieves me of the fear of other people’s judgment. I’m more hospitable because I can invite people over without hours of preparatory cleaning. I feel more self-assured and capable because my surroundings reflect my true identity.

Tip: Walk through your home as if you were a stranger seeing it for the first time. With the detachment of a real estate agent, a house cleaner, or someone considering renting your space on Airbnb, it’s much easier to spot targets for clutter and disorganization.

Tip: Photograph your space to get greater perspective. Looking at a photograph, instead of your actual space, may help you evaluate it more clearly.

The Happiness Boost from Getting Organized Is Bigger Than You Think

About one in three people surveyed said the euphoria they feel after getting organized surpasses many other positive things in life—including rewarding themselves with a special treat (53.8%), going out for a nice meal (46.2%), receiving a birthday or holiday gift (32.7%), and even going on vacation (19.2%). This finding doesn’t surprise me—it confirms something I’ve observed in my own life for years—but I was fascinated to learn that this boost surpasses so many of the things we might expect to rank highest.

Tip: Treat yourself. When we give ourselves healthy treats, we feel energized, cared for, and contented, and that boost makes it easier to maintain our good habits. Many of our go-to treats, however, (the impulse splurge, the extra glass of wine) give a short-term lift followed by guilt. The next time you want to treat yourself, consider organizing something instead. A cleared drawer or a tidied shelf gives you the benefit without the crash—and unlike a meal out, it’s still working for you a week later.

You Don’t Have to Do it Alone

I’m a big believer that when something feels overwhelming, or you need help getting unstuck, bringing in someone who truly knows what they’re doing can make all the difference.

A design expert, like the team at Inspired Closets, doesn’t just solve the problem—they help uncover smarter ways to make your space function better than you imagined.

Tip: Hire an expert. This is one of my favorite strategies, if you have the means. Getting organized is one of the most practical investments you can make in your daily wellbeing. It removes the burden of figuring everything out yourself and lets you focus your energy where it actually counts.

Organization as a Happiness Strategy

What the survey confirms, in clear and quantifiable terms, is something I’ve believed for a long time: getting organized isn’t just a housekeeping task—it’s a strategy for living a happier, healthier, more productive, and more creative life. When we look at our stuff, we see a reflection of ourselves. We’re happier when that stuff is in good order because

that reflection influences the way we see ourselves. Once outer order emerges, we can take the opportunity to enjoy it, to experience the ease, space, and growth that come from inner calm.

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My Favorite Books About Parenting

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Mon, 11 May 2026 21:21:16 +0000

An earlier version of this article appeared April 24, 2018

I’ve read many parenting books, but a few really stand out to me—in many cases, I’ve read these books several times.

One thing I’ve discovered is that when a parenting book is truly excellent, its advice is just as helpful for dealing with adults as with children. Children and adults are more alike than we sometimes assume. For instance, when I was researching habits for Better Than Before, my book about habit change, I did a fair amount of research on the design of pre-school and kindergarten routines.

So after reading these books about parenthood, I’ve applied much of what I learned to my adult relationships, with equal success.

I’ve grouped my recommendations into a few broad categories below, depending on what you’re looking for.

Books about communicating with kids (and adults)

These books focus on how to talk with children—and how to listen. As I’ve found, the lessons apply just as well to grown-ups.

1. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.

How I love this book! It has helped me tremendously as a parent – and in every other aspect of my life. In fact, I probably think more about its lessons in the context of adult interactions that I do of child interactions. I’ve read it at least five times. It’s very wise, and it’s also a very fun read.

One of the most important lessons I learned from this book? Make people feel happier by acknowledging that they’re not feeling happy. When we acknowledge the reality of other people’s feelings, they know they’re being heard. Instead of denying feelings like anger, irritation, fear, or reluctance, we do better to articulate the other person’s point of view. It turns out that when people’s bad feelings are acknowledged, those feelings dissipate more easily.

This was a giant revelation to me. It really, really works. If you’d like to read a post I wrote on this subject, it’s here.

2. I also love Faber & Mazlish’s book Siblings Without Rivalry.

Books about children’s social lives and friendships

Friendships, teasing, exclusion, group dynamics—children’s social lives can be one of the most interesting (and sometimes hardest) parts of parenting.

3. Best Friends, Worst Enemies: Understanding the Social Lives of Children by Michael Thompson.

I’m a giant raving fan of Michael Thompson’s work. It’s practical, realistic, and insightful, plus it’s written in a very engaging way.

Here’s a post I wrote about a passage from the book about why it’s a bad idea to “interview for pain.” Again, this principle is just as true for adults as for kids.

4. I also love Thompson’s book Mom, They’re Teasing Me: Helping Your Child Solve Social Problems. If you want to hear “A Little Happier” episode where I talk about one of the most important lessons I gleaned from that book, it’s here.

Books about resilience, character, and money

These books tackle some of the bigger questions of raising kids: how to let them struggle, how to teach them about money, how to build character.

5. The Blessing of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel.

This is a very useful book that emphasizes why it’s important to let children make mistakes, suffer consequences, handle disappointment, and deal with boredom as part of their growing up. Harder than it sounds!

6. The Opposite of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money by Ron Lieber.

This helpful book is very focused on a common challenge: How we can talk about money with our kids and instill good financial values and behaviors—so that children reach adulthood as “grounded, generous, and smart about money.”

Books with overall frameworks for parenting

Some parents want a single book that gives them a framework or philosophy for the whole job. These three are good options.

7. Practical Wisdom for Parents: Raising Self-Confident Children in the Preschool Years by Nancy Schulman and Ellen Birnbaum.

I love this book, in part because it’s a terrific book and in part because it was written by two people whom I really like and respect. In fact, as I describe in my book The Happiness Project, I played a small role in the book’s inception. (You can also read that story here.)

If you want to listen to a two-minute episode of “A Little Happier” where I describe one of the many wise things that Nancy Schulman said to me, it’s here.

8. Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy.

“Dr. Becky’s” approach is really resonating with people. One of the things that I particularly appreciate about this book is that it deals straightforwardly with many of the challenges of parenting. For instance, there’s a chapter on whining. (And the discussion applies just as well to whiny adults as whiny children.)

9. The 5 Principles of Parenting: Your Essential Guide to Raising Good Humans by Aliza Pressman.

One of the most important things I’ve learned about happiness? There’s no one right way, there’s no single best way to make our lives happier, healthier, more productive, or more creative. So I really appreciate Aliza Pressman’s approach, because she argues that “there’s no one ‘right’ way to raise good humans”—and yet these five principles can be our guide.

A book about what parenthood does to parents

For one thing, this is one of my all-time favorite titles. I love that paradox.

10. All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood by Jennifer Senior.

Unlike the other books in this list, this thought-provoking book isn’t a guide about parenting; it’s about the effect that having children has on the lives of mothers and fathers. Which is a fascinating topic.

A book for parents of grown (or nearly grown) children

Parenting doesn’t end when kids leave the house. This book has been particularly useful in my own life.

11. The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now by Meg Jay.

True, this book has a somewhat terrifying title, but it’s very useful. A listener suggested it to me, so I read it and loved it, and because it was lying around the apartment, my older daughter, Eliza, read it, too. She found it extremely helpful, recommended it to her friends, and just told me last week that she often thinks about it. So I just gave Eliza the new book by Meg Jay, The Twentysomething Treatment.

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Secret of Adulthood: The Days Are Long, But the Years Are Short

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Wed, 29 Apr 2026 02:49:10 +0000

An earlier version of this article appeared May 27, 2014

In all the time I’ve spent studying happiness, habits, and human nature, this one sentence has reached people more than anything else I’ve written: The days are long, but the years are short.

If you’ve heard this line somewhere and wondered where it came from, here I tell the story of a daily ride on the city bus, my daughter Eliza, and an ordinary dog on a leash.

As we rode that bus to school, it hit me: this bus ride was it. This was parenthood. This was the childhood of my darling girl. This was life itself. And I was frittering the time away.

From then on, every morning I thought, “Thank goodness, another chance to ride the bus.” I’ve returned to this realization this at different points in Eliza’s life — when she went to her junior prom, when she graduated from high school, when I dropped her at college. The days are long, but the years are short.

The phrase has spread in ways I didn’t anticipate. It circulates in parenting communities, on LinkedIn, in retirement speeches, in grief writing. It even popped up on the Netflix show Queer Eye. Often it shows up without my name attached, which is a sign of a good aphorism. It gives words to a truth that many people have recognized for themselves.

This line is one of my “Secrets of Adulthood” — the kind of truth that we usually learn through hard experience. I’ve been collecting and writing them for years, and I recently gathered them into a book: Secrets of Adulthood: Simple Truths for Our Complex Lives. But this one — about the bus, about Eliza, about the dog on the leash — is one that means the most to me.

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Clear the Clutter: Nine Tips for Tackling Sentimental Clutter

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 23:28:57 +0000

An earlier version of this article appeared April 6, 2023

One of the best ways to recall happy times is to view and hold mementos and keepsakes. We use physical items to remind us of the people, places, and activities we love.

Whether these objects take the form of souvenirs, photos, children’s art, or well-loved clothing, they connect us to important memories.

However, because mementos hold special meaning, it’s easy to accumulate too many. It’s one thing to recycle junk mail; it’s another to toss your child’s kindergarten artwork.

The key to clearing sentimental clutter? Focus on curating your keepsakes, so that you keep only the most meaningful and evocative items. (And, when possible, smaller items.)

Research shows that recalling happy memories increases positive emotions and decreases negative emotions such as stress and loneliness. Mementos are a powerful way to keep those happy memories vivid.

Perhaps paradoxically, having fewer mementos allows us to evoke more memories, because each item has been carefully chosen. When we’re less overwhelmed by the sheer volume of items, and we keep only the ones with deep meaning, we’re better able to appreciate each one.

This spring, clear sentimental clutter using the following tips.

Nine Tips for Curating Your Keepsakes:

Make a plan. Set aside dedicated time to edit your mementos and make the activity itself meaningful. Consider asking a friend or family member to join you—it often helps to have someone listen to the memories evoked by an item. After revisiting your associations behind certain possessions, it can become easier to choose which ones to keep.
Give to a good home. It’s much easier to let go of items when we can envision others getting good use from them, so identify people and organizations who will appreciate your contributions.
Get creative with photo displays. To get more memories from photos, create a rotating gallery of seasonal photos. You might curate a holiday gallery, a vacation gallery, or a back-to-school gallery. Every year, I put out a Valentine’s Day gallery and a Halloween gallery. Because these photos appear only for a short time, we notice them more—and then we make room for other photos, with different memories attached.
Take a photo of an object, then get rid of the object. Sometimes, all we want is a memory prompt, and a photo can do that just as well as an actual item. And it takes up much less room! Speaking of which…
Think small. I asked myself, “Do I need to keep this enormous desk to remind me of my grandfather, or can I keep his pocket watch?” I chose the pocket watch. It serves just as well as a reminder, but fits on a shelf instead of taking up half a room.
Choose one representative item (or a few). If you have several objects that are important for the same emotional reason—such as old college t-shirts—identify your favorite and get rid of the others. You don’t need multiple mementos, just one iconic thing. Of my big collection of childhood dolls and stuffed animals, I keep three. I display them on a shelf, so I see them all the time; if I kept two big boxes of my old toys, they’d be stuck in storage where I’d never look at them.
Frame or display paper mementos. Playbills, postcards, handwritten letters, children’s artwork, or holiday cards—select the most visually pleasing or meaningful, and frame them as art. Highlighting your favorites makes it easier to recycle the rest. Alternatively, you might select several paper keepsakes per year and file them by date.
Do a digital edit. Thanks to the ease of taking photos with our smartphones, we store far more visual memories than we need. Set aside a regular time to edit your phone’s photos. Delete duplicates, screenshots, closed eyes, and anything that you don’t need to revisit.
Create a collection. Arrange items on a tray, shelf, or in a basket. These keepsakes should be carefully curated—a dozen seashells, not one hundred—and ideally small in size. By creating a visually-pleasing display, you’ll appreciate these reminders more.

Watch Out for Clutter Traps

As you clear out sentimental clutter, watch out for items that feel meaningful but don’t actually hold significance for you. Two chief culprits? Inherited items and gifts.

Inherited items: Maybe you inherited a big box of family photographs but you don’t recognize anyone in the pictures.Or your mother gave you her old set of holiday china, which she loved but that you don’t really care for.

Gifts: Maybe you’re keeping a gift you don’t need, use, or love out of respect for the giver. Be honest about what items hold value and which items are merely taking up space.

Don’t save mementos that hold no memories for you.

A Tool to Help Organize What You Keep

If you’ve curated your collection of keepsakes but are struggling with how to organize them, consider using the Memento Keepsake Journal.

This journal is made for those who want to collect tangible representations of their memories, but are overwhelmed by the prospect of organizing or scrapbooking. The Memento Keepsake Journal provides safekeeping pockets to help you curate the most meaningful mementos, with space on every page to add notes, photos, and stickers to take the guesswork out of your personal storytelling. Use this journal to save family memories, records from school, travel souvenirs, artifacts from your year, or any other keepsake you’d like to save.

Outer Order, Inner Calm

With clarity and humor, bestselling author of The Four Tendencies and The Happiness Project Gretchen Rubin illuminates one of her key realizations about happiness: For most of us, outer order contributes to inner calm. And for most of us, a rigid, one-size-fits-all solution doesn’t work.

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Spring Cleaning Ideas: How to Get Started (and Make It Fun)

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Thu, 23 Apr 2026 23:28:04 +0000

An earlier version of this article appeared March 13, 2020

Do you like spring cleaning?

I hear the Questioners saying, “Why do this in the spring? There’s no magic to that season. It’s an arbitrary choice!”

True. But one of my clutter-clearing aphorisms is “Things that can be done at any time are often done at no time,” so it’s helpful to have a catalyst to undertake a certain effort.

And there’s something about the natural renewal of spring, with its fresh breezes, bright green leaves, and clear sky, that always makes me want to clear out my space.

Why we associate spring with cleaning

Spring cleaning as a tradition has real historical roots. Before central heating, homes accumulated months of soot, smoke residue, and grime over the winter months. When the weather finally warmed enough to open the windows, a thorough cleaning wasn’t just satisfying—it was necessary. The ritual stuck long after the original reason disappeared.

There’s also a psychological dimension worth noting. Longer days and warmer temperatures seem to trigger a natural urge to reset. Spring is a good moment to look around at what’s accumulated and decide what to do with it all.

Spring cleaning ideas to get you started

So where to begin?

Here are some specific, manageable ideas to get you started.

1. Clean out your fridge and freezer. Wipe off the shelves, get rid of anything past its prime, re-organize the bottles jammed into the door (if you’re like my family), and arrange items more neatly. Bonus: put healthier foods in a more prominent position, and put less healthy foods in more inconvenient places—out of sight is best.

2. Go through your closet and choose three items to toss or give away. Yes, three is arbitrary—but it’s the rare person who doesn’t have three things that never get worn.

3. Choose one shelf in your medicine cabinet. Sort through it, toss, consolidate (we had three almost-empty bottles of Advil), and wipe away any stickiness. And speaking of stickiness…

4. Is any part of your house or apartment a bit stinky? The garbage pail, under the kitchen sink, the dog bed? I’m always rolling down the bag of dog food to make sure the smell doesn’t waft up. Bad smells are very distressing, so track them down at their source and put an end to them.

5. Tackle a pile of papers—whether it’s on the kitchen counter, on your desk at work, on the floor of your car, or on the dining room table. Sort, toss, recycle, shred, act.

6. If you want to tackle a bigger project, and you’re so inclined, invite a friend to come over to help you. Especially for Obligers, having company can help them get started and stay on task. Maybe you have a friend like me, a happiness bully who begs to come over and help you clear clutter. (Here are two Happier podcast episodes where you can listen to me “help” Elizabeth clear her closet and her home office). Or maybe you can agree with a friend that you’ll help that person, and then that person will help you. Some people do better alone, but in my observation, many people benefit from an extra pair of hands and a more objective pair of eyes.

7. If you can’t manage anything else, do this: do some internet research or ask around to find out: If you were going to give away some items you no longer need, use, or love, where would you take them? For many people, not knowing where to donate is a big hurdle. Once we know that information, and are reminded that others will benefit from the stuff that’s sitting unused in our house, it’s easier to give things away.

How to make spring cleaning more fun

One of my favorite strategies for getting through a boring task is pairing—combining it with something you enjoy. Reserve your favorite podcast or a playlist that makes you want to move specifically for cleaning days. If you only get to listen to it while you’re clearing clutter, you’ll actually look forward to it.

Treats help too. Promise yourself something you enjoy once you’re done as a way of acknowledging that you did something that required real effort. It could be as simple as sitting with a good cup of coffee once the kitchen counter is finally clear.

If you tend to run out of steam, try giving yourself a constraint instead of a goal. Get out one bag or box before you begin, and commit only to filling it. Once it’s full, you’re done.

When I’m in a certain mood, I find it very calming to clear clutter. Seeing the open space gives me a feeling of energy and focus. That’s probably why I had so much fun writing my book Outer Order, Inner Calm. Just thinking about clearing clutter makes me happier!

Outer Order, Inner Calm

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Gretchen Rubin’s graduation gift guide

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 16:50:04 +0000

Choosing a graduation gift is a small, happy problem to have. You want something the grad will actually use or love (and that won’t end up in a drawer by August). Here are my favorite ideas for the grad in your life.

This post includes products that I believe in and love myself. It also includes affiliate links, meaning I will receive a commission if you decide to make a purchase from these links. This never comes at any cost to you.

Graduation gift ideas: Home

Sunrise alarm clock

A sunrise alarm clock uses light (and optionally, sound) to wake sleepers more naturally.

A basic toolkit

This toolkit is perfect for someone moving into a new place. It has everything you need to hang a picture, assemble furniture, and handle minor repairs.

Nice towels

These Japanese-style towels are soft, absorbent, and quick-drying.

Fire extinguisher

A compact fire extinguisher to fit in even the smallest apartment. Better to have one and not need it than need it and not have one.

Graduation gift ideas: Keepsakes

Personal recipe book

Fill in a few pages with family recipes to give your grad a taste of home whenever they need one.

Memento Keepsake Journal

Perfect for organizing photos, keepsakes, and small souvenirs.

Picture frame

Frame a nice photo for your recipient. Research shows that looking at pictures of loved ones can lower stress and help us feel more grounded.

Graduation gift ideas: Work

Laptop bag

This stylish bag is water-repellent, fits under an airplane seat, and includes lots of pockets to keep your grad organized.

Portable second monitor

Once you get used to multiple monitors, it’s hard to go back to a single screen. This portable second screen solves the problem.

Printer

A basic, black and white printer (that does not require any kind of subscription service).

Portable phone charger

A portable phone charger with built-in cables, so they can call you anytime.

Graduation gift ideas: Life

Quality luggage

For grads with travel in their future, you can’t go wrong with sturdy, high-quality luggage.

Gift card set

Pair a gift card with a small gift, like a coffee tumbler with a voucher for their favorite coffee shop.

Consulting services

Consider gifting a session with a financial planner to help them set up a budget, manage student loans, and start investing.

See Gretchen’s Other Gift Guides

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The one-minute rule: A simple habit that keeps life under control

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 23:31:16 +0000

An earlier version of this article was published December 15, 2006

Of all the habits I’ve written about and tested over the years, the one-minute rule is the one people bring up most. I think it resonates because it’s so simple. There’s nothing to set up, no planning needed; you just do it.

What is the one-minute rule?

If a task can be done in one minute or less, do it now — immediately, without delay.

Hang up your coat. Put the dish in the dishwasher. Reply to the quick text. File the piece of paper. Toss the empty box. Don’t add these tasks to a list or schedule them for later. If they take a minute or less, you handle them the moment you encounter them.

This is an easy, effective rule—but it must be followed consistently if you want to see results.

For me, because the tasks are so quick, it isn’t too hard to make myself follow the rule—but it has big results. Keeping all those small, nagging tasks under control makes me more serene, less overwhelmed.

When people ask me for happiness rules or tips, I often suggest the “one-minute rule,” because it’s very easy to implement. Several people have made a point of telling me how helpful they have found it.

One friend told me that her apartment went from being a wreck to being quite tidy, without much effort on her part. Another friend said that his productivity had shot up; because he got so many little things got done quickly, he had much more time for the bigger tasks.

One nice thing about the “one-minute rule” is that I don’t have to think about priorities. When I stop to think, “Should I tidy up the kitchen or pay bills?” or “Should I answer emails or review my calendar?” I sometimes end up feeling that whatever I’m doing is the wrong thing.

But with the “one-minute rule,” I do anything that presents itself, right away, as long as I can do it in a minute.

Why the one-minute rule works

Most disorder doesn’t come from a single big failure — it comes from dozens of small deferred decisions.

When you set your jacket on a chair instead of hanging it up, it doesn’t feel like a big deal. But if the same thing happens with a pile of mail on the counter, or an overwhelming inbox, the mental weight of all those undone things accumulates into a sense of chaos.

With the one-minute rule, you don’t have to rely on motivation or discipline because you’re removing the decision entirely. There’s no “should I do this now or later?” The rule answers that question for you.

Outer order contributes to inner calm. When our surroundings feel manageable, we feel more in control of our lives generally. The one-minute rule is one of the most reliable ways I know to maintain that sense of control.

The one-minute rule and procrastination

People often discover the one-minute rule when they’re looking for help with procrastination. Whether or not the rule helps them depends on the reason they’re procrastinating.

The one-minute rule won’t help with tasks that are genuinely difficult, emotionally charged, or time-consuming. It’s not a cure for avoidance of hard things. But it does eliminate the low-stakes procrastination that clutters daily life, so you have more energy to tackle the big things.

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How to Deal with Paper Clutter: What to Keep, What to Toss, and How to Stay Organized

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 09:53:40 +0000

An earlier version of this article was published April 16, 2019

Paperwork is one of the toughest forms of clutter to vanquish. Often, it’s much more anxiety-provoking and draining than going through a clothes closet or a desk drawer.

What makes paper clutter particularly difficult is that so much of it feels important. You’re not sure what you’re supposed to keep, so you keep everything.

The good news is, a lot of it can go. Here’s how to think through it.

What to keep and what to toss

To decide what to keep and what to toss, ask:

Do you actually need this piece of paper or receipt? What specific use does it serve?
Have you ever used it? If you’ve never referred to a category of paperwork, apparently you don’t need it.
Will it quickly become dated—like travel or summer-camp information?
Does the internet mean that it’s no longer necessary? For instance, the instruction manuals for most appliances are now online.
What’s the consequence of not having it if you do need it?
Was it once necessary but is now related to a part of your life that’s over? This can be hard to recognize. Do you need that sheet of home phone numbers for the members of a team that you left two years ago?
Could you scan it, so that you have a copy if you need it?
At work or at home, does someone else have a copy of this information?
Look in your paper-organizing gizmos. When I look at people’s work spaces, I notice that they often have file stands, wall-mounted paper organizers, stacked shelves and in-boxes…all full of old papers that no one ever looks at. Unless you’re actively moving papers in and out, empty out those units, and get rid of the units altogether! They’re often just clutter magnets.
Have you verified your assumptions? For instance, when you took your current position, your co-worker told you, “I always keep these receipts,” so you assumed that you need to keep them, too. But maybe you don’t.

Whenever we clear cutter, it’s useful to ask, “If I had to replace something I’ve tossed or given away, how hard would it be?” This question can help with papers. If you shred a bank statement but end up needing it, you can get the statement online or call your bank. If you toss your diary from high school, you can’t get it back. So think harder about the diary than the bank statement. (Check out these ways to archive and save things that matter to you.)

Beware of binders! For some reason, I’ve noticed that many people have an urge to put papers in binders. But do you really need those papers at all? One of the biggest wastes of time is doing something well that didn’t need to be done at all.

Along the same lines, I got an email from a teacher who complained about how much time she’d spent shredding old lessons plans and student essays. Why do those papers need to be shredded at all? I talked to a guy who was planning on putting all his papers in chronological order in binders (binders!), then realized that most of the paperwork was related to pet insurance, and he could access his account online. He didn’t need to save those papers at all.

Some people worry about regret—that they’ll sort through the papers, get rid of a lot of it, then wish they’d kept some of it. In my observation, this is rarely a problem. However, if it’s a real stumbling block for you, create a holding box. Put papers in that box for six months—or even a year, if you’re really worried—and see if you ever need to retrieve anything from that box. If you don’t, get rid of the box—and importantly, don’t re-open it first! Or you’ll re-ignite the whole problem of uncertainty.

How to organize the paper you’re keeping

We want to get organized, but not too organized. Don’t make files so specific that you can’t find anything later, or so that you spend all your time labeling files.

I’ve come up with a system that works really well for me. I have a folder for every month of the year, and any information related to that month goes into that file, whether it’s a party invitation, agenda for speaking at a conference, information about a school event for my daughter, or notes for one of the live shows that Elizabeth and I are planning. That makes it easy to know exactly where to find timely information, no matter what part of my life it relates to, and easy to see when paperwork is no longer necessary.

Bonus: To make those files more fun to maintain, years ago, I bought bright, well-designed folders and had my then-little daughter Eleanor write the days of the month on them. It’s still fun to see her childish handwriting when I grab a folder.

A few other ideas for organizing:

Go digital where you can. A scanner (or a scanning app on your phone) lets you keep a searchable archive without the physical pile.
Set up a simple inbox system. Pick a tray, basket, or drawer for holding papers that need attention. You’ll need to commit to processing it regularly though, so it become a permanent pile. This can also be helpful if you deal with a lot of paper at work.

This kind of paper clutter is difficult, but so rewarding! Think of how great you’ll feel when you get that pile of files off the floor, or clean out that stack of curled up, yellow papers. It’s tremendously freeing and energizing to clear out that stuff.

The post How to Deal with Paper Clutter: What to Keep, What to Toss, and How to Stay Organized appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.

How to Find the Right Exercise Routine for You

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 22:30:44 +0000

An earlier version of this post appeared on January 30, 2013

Want an exercise routine you’ll stick to? Ask yourself these eleven questions.

When I ask people what they’d like to do for their own happiness projects, they often say something like, “Exercise more regularly.” Exercise is very important for health and mood, and everyone knows this—and yet it’s often tough for people to stick to an exercise routine.

I think that one mistake is to choose a form of exercise based on a) what your friend recommends, b) what kind of change to your body you want to see, or c) what is the fashionable form of exercise. It’s helpful to consider these factors, but in the end, we’re far more likely to stick with an exercise routine that suits our nature and our schedule. If you strugglw to exercise regularly, this is not the place to fight your nature! If you’ve been a night person all your life, vowing to get up at 5:00 a.m. to run isn’t very realistic.

11 Questions to Help You Find the Right Exercise Routine

Work through these questions honestly. When you’re done, you’ll have a much clearer picture of what kind of routine is actually built for you.

1. Are you a morning person or a night person?

Morning exercisers tend to have fewer scheduling conflicts—nothing comes up at 6 a.m.—but if you’re not functional until 10, morning workouts will always feel like punishment. Night people often do better with after-work classes or evening walks.

2. Would you like to spend more time in nature?

If the answer is yes, then outdoor exercise like running a trail, hiking, or walking in a park satisfies both your movement goal and your desire for fresh air and open space. For some people, this is what makes the habit finally stick.

3. Would you like more time in solitude; or more time with friends; or more time to meet new people?

Exercise can be deeply social or deeply private, and the right version depends on what you’re missing in the rest of your day. If your job is all meetings and people, solitary exercise might feel like relief. If you work alone all day, a group class might be exactly the connection you need.

4. Are you motivated by competition?

How do you feel about competing against others or against your own personal bests? If you love it, lean into it: races, team sports, fitness challenges, apps that track personal records. If competition makes you feel anxious or deflated rather than motivated, skip it.

5. Do you enjoy loud music?

This sounds minor, but if you light up with a high-energy playlist, a spin class or a solo run with headphones might be ideal. If loud music feels overwhelming or you’d rather think while you move, that points toward something quieter—swimming, yoga, walking.

6. Do you do better with some form of external accountability, or does that just annoy you?

If you need accountability, try signing up for a class, hiring a trainer, or schedule workouts with a friend. If external accountability makes you feel controlled or resentful, it’ll backfire.

7. Would you like to challenge yourself with exercise (whether by learning a new skill or pushing yourself physically)—or not?

For some people, the appeal of exercise is mastery: getting better at something, learning a new movement, seeing measurable progress. For others, exercise is maintenance, not ambition—they want it to be reliable and low-drama, not a constant challenge.

8. Do you like sports and games?

If you do, recreational leagues, pickup games, tennis, pickleball, and similar activities can make exercise feel like play rather than obligation.

9. Would you like more meditative time, or more time to watch TV, read newspapers, etc?

Choose activities you can pair with things you already want to do: A long walk can be thinking time, podcast time, or audiobook time. Binge watch your favorite show on the treadmill.

10. Do you have a lot of control over your time?

If your schedule is unpredictable, classes or training appointments that require you to be somewhere at a certain time are likely to become a source of stress. But if you have a looser schedule, structure can be helpful.

11. Are you sensitive to weather?

If a cold, rainy morning reliably kills your motivation to exercise outdoors, that’s useful information. Plan around it with an indoor alternative rather than counting on willpower to override your preferences every winter.

Creating an exercise plan that sticks

Your answers should guide your thinking about exercise. Work out with a trainer? Take a class? Be inside or outside? etc.

For instance, if you’re a morning person who craves solitude and time alone with your thoughts, but has little control over your schedule and hates feeling accountable to anyone, you might enjoy walking in a park every morning before you leave for work.

If you’re a night person who loves music and meeting new people, and is also motivated by accountability, you might like to take a dance-based exercise class after work.

Often, people will say, “Go for a twenty minute walk at lunch? That’s nothing. I really need to get in shape.” Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good! The twenty minute walk you take is so much better for you than the three mile run you never do. You get the biggest health boost going from no exercise to some exercise.

Just a little tweak in a routine sometimes makes a big difference. For instance, to exercise on the weekends, I go for a long walk. Years ago, I found myself getting bored on the long walks—and so finding excuses to skip them.

One of my Twelve Personal Commandments is to Identify the problem. What was the problem? “I’m bored during these walks, so I don’t want to go.” For the first time, I bought myself an audiobook, and listened to The Golden Compass when I walked. I loved it! These days, I usually listen to podcasts. My desire to listen makes it much easier to walk.

How about you? What aspects of your nature and your schedule make it easier–or harder–to stick to an exercise routine? What works for you?

The post How to Find the Right Exercise Routine for You appeared first on Gretchen Rubin.

The Strategy of Clarity: How to Make Sure Your Habits Match Your Goals

gretchen@gretchenrubin.com (Gretchen Rubin) — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 10:29:37 +0000

An earlier version of this article appeared on October 15, 2015

Of all the strategies for habit formation I’ve explored, the Strategy of Clarity took me the longest to fully appreciate. It seems almost too simple. But once I understood how much work it was actually doing, I couldn’t stop seeing it everywhere.

Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life, and a significant element of happiness. If we have habits that work for us, we’re much more likely to be happy, healthy, productive, and creative.

My book, Better Than Before (can’t resist adding, bestseller) describes the multiple strategies we can exploit to change our habits.

I spend a lot of time thinking about questions such as, “How do we change?” “Why is it so hard to make ourselves do things that we want to do?” ( for instance, why is it so hard to make myself go to bed?) and “How can we stick to our resolutions?“

I realize now that a big challenge is clarity. Often, if there’s something that I want to do, but somehow can’t get myself to do, it’s because I don’t have clarity. This lack of clarity often arises from a feeling of ambivalence–I want to do something, but I don’t want to do it; or I want one thing, but I also want something else that conflicts with it.

Lack of clarity, and the paralysis that ensues, seems to be common. Here’s a list of aims in conflict that I’ve heard. Do any ring a bell for you?

I want to give 110% to work. I want to give 110% to my family.
I want to work on my novel. I want to exercise.
I want to spend less time in the car. I want my children to participate in many after-school activities.
Making money is not important. Making money is important.
I want to be very accessible to other people. I want time alone to think and work.
I want to be a polite guest. I want to avoid sugar.
I want leisure time when I come home from work. I want to live in a house that’s clean and well-run.

Have you experienced this — a paralysis that comes from conflicting values?

Research bears this out: when we have conflicting goals, we don’t manage ourselves well. We become anxious or paralyzed, and we often end up doing nothing. This is where the Strategy of Clarity comes in.

What is the Strategy of Clarity?

The Strategy of Clarity means being crystal clear — with yourself and others — about what you’re trying to achieve and why. It eliminates the ambiguity that leads to stalling. When you can see the connection between a habit and the value it actually serves, following through becomes easier. The habit isn’t just a task on your list; it’s an expression of something is genuinely important to you.

How to use the Strategy of Clarity

The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself — not what other people value or expect from me — the more likely I am to stick to my habits. Here are my three best tips:

Define your goal specifically. Vague aims are easy to sidestep. “I want to exercise more” gives you no clear standard for success or failure. “I want to do 30 minutes of cardio three times a week” does. Identify specific, quantifiable actions that will lead you to your goal.

Spend more time with my kids → Read to the kids every evening
Give back to my community → Volunteer at the public library once a month
Cut down on social media → Limit social media to 30 minutes per day

Identify your real “why.” Ask yourself why this habit matters to you — not why it should matter. Understanding the genuine motivation behind a habit is what gives it staying power.

One person in my Habits for Happiness course illustrated this well. She’d started with a “no added sugar” rule, then refined it to “no sugar unless pre-planned so you look back on it with pleasure.” But when she got very clear about her why — she wanted sugar to be a genuine social pleasure, not a coping mechanism for stress or boredom — she landed on her own rule: “Add sugar as you add people.” Dessert was fine as long as it was shared. No pre-planning required, but the habit was now anchored in something she actually valued.

Plan the details. Outline when, where, and how you’ll carry out the habit.

Review regularly. Our circumstances change, and our priorities can shift. Periodically asking yourself “Do I still care about this?” helps to make sure you’re working toward the right thing.

Especially important for Questioners. If you’re a Questioner (don’t know if you’re a Questioner? take my free, quick quiz here), the Strategy of Clarity is one of the most important strategies for you.

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