In The Levity Effect: Why it Pays to Lighten Up, Adrian Gostick and Scott Christopher make an interesting argument that “levity” is an extremely effective tool for helping people to work better. An atmosphere of light-heartedness, it turns out, helps people pay attention, eases tensions, and enhances a feeling of connection.

When I read this, I thought, “Well, levity would be tough for me, I’m not particularly funny, and I’m not particularly outgoing.”

But what the authors mean by “levity” is really a sense of lightness. It's less about being funny and more about being able to have fun and see the humorous side of everyday situations—especially difficult situations.

Ah, I thought, I’m trying! The Ninth of my Twelve Commandments is “Lighten up." When I posted sticky notes with key phrases all around my office and apartment, the one I put in the master bathroom read, “Tender and light-hearted.”

Gostick and Christopher include a quiz about workplace levity. Looking at it, I realized that most of my workplaces included these elements, which I’m sure contributed to the positive experience I had everywhere (except for the summer I worked as a waitress at Dos Hombres Mexican restaurant, and zoikes, I did not like that job).

For example, I’d assumed that the atmosphere around the Supreme Court would be serious, thoughtful, and grand. And it was. But in her chambers, Justice O’Connor incorporated several goofy aspects that made it a lot of fun, too. Each Halloween, she required her clerks to decorate elaborate pumpkins, and birthday celebrations were always a big deal, and she took the clerks on a yearly outing (we went fishing). And that sort of thing really did make a difference.

How does your workplace measure up? Take Gostick and Christopher’s quiz:

New employees are made to feel welcome
Meetings are positive and light
We have fun activities at least once a month
It’s common to hear people laughing around here
I can be myself at work
We have a lot of celebrations for special events
When brainstorming, we like to have fun
My boss is usually optimistic and smiling
Customers would call us fun to do business with
I have a friend at work who makes me laugh
We have a good time together

Does your workplace have "levity," according to this quiz? Do you think it matters?

This is a great list for home, too. For my next book, Happier at Home, I tried several resolutions that were meant to try to bring more levity into my apartment. For instance, I tried to under-react to problems, and it really did help.

How about you? Have you found that an atmosphere of levity and good humor makes a difference to your workplace or home? Have you found any good strategies to keep things fun and light?

* It's fun to look around Laughing Squid, which "features interesting art, culture, and technology from around the web."

Assay: Recently, when I was rereading Gertrude Stein's The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas, I was very struck by this observation about the French poet Guillaume Apollinaire:

The death of Guillaume Apollinaire at this time made a very serious difference to all his friends apart from their sorrow at his death. It was the moment just after the war when many things had changed and people naturally fell apart. Guillaume would have been a bond of union, he always had a quality of keeping people together, and now that he was gone everybody ceased to be friends.

The "quality of keeping people together" seems an important and rare attribute, and although it doesn't come naturally to me, I'm trying to do a better job of it myself, and also to appreciate more the work of the Apollinaire-ish types whose efforts benefit me.

This quality has been on my mind since the sad occasion of a memorial service of a friend. I knew her in a work context, but at the service, I realized from the tributes of her college friends that, along with many other wonderful traits, she had the "quality of keeping people together" from that time.

My sister is this way, too, and from watching her in action, I know how much energy and time it takes to act like glue, to make the efforts that allow people to stay close.

Who coaxes people into showing up to the reunion? Who remembers everyone's birthdays, and insists that everyone get together to mark the occasion? Who plans the promotion celebration? Who organizes the group wedding gift? Who keeps track of everyone's addresses? Who sends out the group emails? It doesn't sound very hard—until you're the one doing it.

And although it's a lot of work, it's all too easy for people to take these efforts for granted, or not to realize how important one person is to the strength of a particular web of relationships. In fact, that person might well be teased for these efforts, and instead of people being appreciative and cooperative, they might act jaded and superior to such gung-ho antics.

Ancient philosophers and contemporary scientists agree: one of the keys—perhaps the key—to happiness is strong relationships, and the often unsung work of such folks to keep up a "bond of union" makes a tremendous difference to everyone in their circles.

How about you? Do you have the "quality of keeping people together"? Do you feel that your efforts are appreciated? If you don't naturally play this role, have you found strategies to work at it?

* I love cruising around Parent Hacks—which "collects and shares parents' tips, recommendations, and bits of wisdom—their hacks—so we can all benefit."

* Want a happiness quotation in your email inbox every morning? Sign up for the Moment of Happiness. Subscribe here or email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com.

“Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or frightened, but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private pace, like a clock during a thunderstorm.”
--Robert Louis Stevenson

I love the simile of a "clock in a thunderstorm." It makes me feel calmer, just to imagine that image.

* Check out the Happiness Project Toolbox: eight free tools to help you track your own happiness project.

As a result of my happiness project, I've become a sleep zealot. It's just so obvious to me—from reading the research and from personal experience—that getting enough sleep is a key to a happier life.

I've noticed something, however. I noticed this in myself, before I became such a sleep nut, and I see it in the people around me: most adults don't give themselves a bedtime.

Children have a fixed bedtime; we know they need their allotment of sleep, and we pack them off to bed when it's time. But many adults just go to bed whenever they feel like it.

The problem with this approach is that it's far too easy to stay up too late. The TV, the internet, your email, your book...these distractions keep you alert past the point at which you should head to bed. Many of us know we ought to go to sleep sooner, but we just can't manage to pull it off.

One suggestion: Give yourself a bedtime. Even if you don't actually go to bed on time, at the very least, you should know that you're "staying up past your bedtime." Just the realization that it's an hour past your "bedtime" might help you nudge yourself into bed. Most adults should get 7-8 hours of sleep each night, so do the math.

I get up at 6:00 am, which means my bedtime is 10:30 pm. When I first gave myself a bedtime, I was in the habit of going to bed around 11:30 or midnight. I thought that was an appropriate grown-up bedtime. Well, it's not if you're a grown-up who gets up at 6:00!

For me, at least, getting more sleep was a habit that was self-reinforcing. I felt so, so much better when I started getting enough sleep that it was very easy to observe that bedtime, even though I do regret the loss of those leisure hours.

How do you know if you're not getting enough sleep? Some warning signs:

• you're jolted out of sleep by your alarm clock every morning
• you fall asleep any time you find yourself in a quiet, still place (in a movie theater, or rocking your child)
• you sleep-binge on the weekends
• you feel exhausted all the time
• on the day when Daylights Savings Time gives you an extra hour of sleep, you feel amazing

Try it. Don't even attempt to go to bed earlier. Just identify your bedtime. We tend to manage what we measure, and by identifying a specific bedtime, you might find yourself developing the habit of turning off the light earlier.

Do you have a regular bedtime, or not? If so, how much sleep do you get, and when do you turn off the light?

I’m working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Everyone’s project will look different, but it’s the rare person who can’t benefit. Join in -- no need to catch up, just jump in right now. Each Friday’s post will help you think about your own happiness project.

* My friend Debbie Stier has a blog called the Perfect Score Project, all about her attempts to ace the SAT. I have no interest in taking the SAT (thank goodness!), but she is so funny and engaging that I love checking out the site, anyway.

Happiness interview: Agapi Stassinopoulos.

Through a mutual friend, I e-met Agapi Stassinopoulos. She has a new book that's just hitting the bookstores, Unbinding the Heart. She grapples with the question of how we can "unbind our hearts" better to experience playfulness, connection, self-expression, and joy. Clearly happiness is at the heart of this challenge.

Gretchen: What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Agapi: Getting together with the people I care for and having an intimate time, where we lovingly share and listen to each other in a safe haven, recharges me and fills my heart. It beats any good therapist! After all, it’s a Greek tradition that around the kitchen table, through food, laughter, and a little bit of wine, all sorts of problems can get resolved. Your heart gets nurtured and your spirit gets lifted.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?
Now I know that my happiness is generated from inside myself. My happiness is not dependent on what I get from the outside world, but more about what I can bring to the world.  

Is there anything you find yourself doing repeatedly that gets in the way of your happiness?
The two main things that get most in my way of happiness are worrying and pressure. Sometimes, I start to worry about the outcome of things, rather than projecting positively into the future, and finding happiness in the present. It’s a terrible habit that I catch myself doing, and I try to course correct the moment I recognize it. Other times, I pressure myself to do more, to be more…It’s the “more” obsession. There is only one remedy, which is to call myself back into the present and to be grateful.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful? (E.g., I remind myself, “No calculation.”) Or a happiness quotation that has struck you as particularly insightful?
My mantra is “I am fully present with myself wherever I am.” Like my mother used to say, “give your full attention to whatever it is you are doing.”

If you’re feeling blue, how do you give yourself a happiness boost?
I light some candles, get cozy in bed with my favorite comforter. I read anything I want to, listen to audio books or spiritual seminars, talk to my friends on the phone, or watch movies. There’s nothing like the comfort of my bed and my fluffy pillows to restore me to my happiness.

Is there anything that you see people around you doing or saying that adds a lot to their happiness, or detracts a lot from their happiness? 
I think what detracts from a lot of people’s happiness is that they separate from each other and shut down, instead of opening up and embracing each other.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
My remedy for my happiness is to listen to myself. If I’m too tired, I put myself to bed. If I’m hungry, I make sure I eat the things that are nurturing for me. If somebody I am talking to is depleting my energy, I stay away from that person. I try to keep the people who are nurturing and uplifting close to me. I freely express feelings and do not censor myself. Definitely sharing the joy and the light randomly with people brings me a lot of happiness. All these are factors that contribute to a high level of taking care of myself, so I can then contribute more to other people’s happiness. Attending to myself is something that I have worked hard at over time to make into a positive habit. 

* I had fun checking out the site Yasiv. You enter the name of a book in the Search bar at the top, and the site generates results based on Amazon's "also bought" feature.

Cruising around Pinterest (my new toy), I came across this list of Henry Miller's eleven work commandments, posted by Sadie Skeels. I'm astounded by how absolutely apt these commandments are for my own writing practices.

For instance, #10. I struggle with this problem all the time. And #2. I remember a conversation I had with my agent when I was writing Forty Ways to Look at Winston Churchill. I was so enthralled with the material that I couldn't stop researching, and finally she said to me sternly, "No more research." #5 is terrific advice; when I can't seem to write, I can review my notes, edit, cut...and pretty soon I've started writing again. I think about #11 in a different way; I struggle to make sure that writing doesn't crowd out other things that are also important to me.

Henry Miller's Commandments, from Henry Miller on Writing:

1. Work on one thing at a time until finished.
2. Start no more new books, add no more new material to “Black Spring.”
3. Don’t be nervous. Work calmly, joyously, recklessly on whatever is in hand.
4. Work according to Program and not according to mood. Stop at the appointed time!
5. When you can’t create you can work.
6. Cement a little every day, rather than add new fertilizers.
7. Keep human! See people, go places, drink if you feel like it.
8. Don’t be a draught-horse! Work with pleasure only.
9. Discard the Program when you feel like it–but go back to it the next day. Concentrate. Narrow down. Exclude.
10. Forget the books you want to write. Think only of the book you are writing.
11. Write first and always. Painting, music, friends, cinema, all these come afterwards.

These rules seem helpful to non-writers as well; in almost everything we do, it helps to stay focused, refreshed, and perseverant.

What work commandments would you add? And what exactly do you think that Miller meant by #6?

* As I mentioned, I'm really enjoying Pinterest—"an online pinboard where you can organize and share the things you love." If you'd like me to send you an invitation, drop me a request at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com.

I've become transfixed with the power of the sense of smell, and I've also been on an Andy Warhol bender lately—not looking at his art, which I don't particularly admire, but reading his writing and his interviews. He is brilliantly thought-provoking.

These two interests intersected as I was re-reading, for the third time, Andy Warhol's The Philosophy of Andy Warhol (From A to B and Back Again).

I love his notion of creating a "smell collection."

I switch perfumes all the time. If I’ve been wearing one perfume for three months, I force myself to give it up, even if I still feel like wearing it, so whenever I smell it again it will always remind me of those three months. I never go back to wearing it again; it becomes part of my permanent smell collection.
...
Seeing, hearing, touching, tasting are just not as powerful as smelling if you want your whole being to go back for a second to something. Usually I don’t want to, but by having smells stopped up in bottles, I can be in control and can only smell the smells I want to, when I want to, to get the memories I’m in the mood to have. Just for a second. The good thing about a smell-memory is that the feeling of being transported stops the instant you stop smelling, so there are no aftereffects. It’s a neat way to reminisce.

I wouldn't have the discipline to limit myself to one perfume and then switch every three months, but it's certainly true that certain smells recall certain times very powerfully for me. For instance, the perfume I wore my senior year in college—Perfumers Workshop's Tea Rose, a very distinctive fragrance—transports me back that time. I would love to be able to capture the smells of certain periods or places in my past: the art room in my grade school; my family's favorite Kansas City diner, Winstead's; summer camp; and so many others.

Fun fact, perhaps apocryphal: Andy Warhol was buried with a bottle of the Estee Lauder perfume, "Beautiful."

* A thoughtful reader sent me the link to this interesting post, 30 things to start doing for yourself, on the blog Marc and Angel Hack Life—"practical tips for productive living."

Early in his career, artist Alberto Giacometti moved into a Paris studio that measured only about sixteen feet square. He didn't expect this to be a permanent situation, but he stayed for the next thirty-eight years. "The longer I stayed," he said, "the larger it grew."
-- Alberto Giacometti, Giacometti: A Biography

* I enjoy reading Jonah Lehrer's blog, Frontal Cortex. Great stuff.

* Join the discussion on the Facebook Page and on Twitter (@gretchenrubin).

As a student of human nature, one of my favorite exercises is to try to divide people into two camps. For instance, I've managed to identify splits like abstainers vs. moderators and under-buyers vs. over-buyers.

Walking to the gym today, I found myself thinking about a passage written by critic John Ruskin:

The little pig was so comforting to me because he was wholly content to be a little pig; and Mr. Leslie Stephen is in a certain degree exemplary and comforting to me, because he is wholly content to be Mr. Leslie Stephen; while I am miserable because I am always wanting to be something else than I am.

This passage made me reflect about a way that my sister and I differ, and I think I identified a new set of oppositions: alchemists vs. leopards. Ruskin and I are alchemists. My sister is a leopard.

Alchemists seek ways to change or re-direct our fundamental natures; we're dissatisfied with ourselves; we're often tempted to behave, and make choices, that don't comport with who we really are.

Leopards don't try to change their spots. They know who they are, and they don't worry about everything they aren't.

The first and most important of my Twelve Personal Commandments is to Be Gretchen. This commandment is important for everyone—though people should substitute their own names!— but I suspect alchemists have a much tougher time keeping the commandment than leopards do. (I wish I could think of a tidier pair of symbols, but I haven’t come up with anything better. Ideas?)

I wish I could be more like my sister. Look, there I go again! Wishing I could change my nature.

* Speaking of siblings, check out 2 Peas and a Pot, where my brother-in-law writes a blog. It's fun to read even if you're not a serious foodie. Inveterate alchemist though I am, I have admitted that I'm not, and never will be, a serious foodie.

Happiness interview: Susan Cain.

I'm so excited for my friend Susan Cain. Her terrific new book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, just came out two days ago, and already it has been the subject of a huge amount of buzz, discussion, and debate. Susan shines a powerful spotlight on a fascinating aspect of human character: the power of introverts. The book is an absolutely compelling read—full of research and insight interesting to introverts and extroverts alike.

I knew Susan had done a lot of thinking about the relationship of introversion, extroversion, and happiness, and also about her own happiness, so I was very interested to hear what she had to say.

What’s a simple activity that consistently makes you happier?
Writing. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was four years old. But as a grown-up, I trained myself to love my work by doing all my writing in a sunny café window while sipping on a latte and snacking on chocolate. Over time, I came to associate writing with the pleasures of that window seat. These days, I don’t need the coffee or chocolate, or even the café—though they still help! But I love the feeling of entering into my inner world. It’s like going through a magic portal every time I sit at my laptop.

What’s something you know now about happiness that you didn’t know when you were 18 years old?
Everyone shines, given the right lighting. For some it’s a Broadway stage, for others a lamplit desk. For me (as for many introverts!) it’s definitely the latter.

Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful? (e.g., I remind myself to “Be Gretchen.”) Or a particular book that has stayed with you?
The book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, by the great psychologist Mihaly Csizszentmihalyi. He talks about how one of the highest states of being is when you’re totally engaged in an activity—from exercise to painting to a conversation with your four-year-old—and you’re operating in the sublime channel between boredom and anxiety. I think about that all the time, and try to live in a state of flow as often as possible.

Do you work on being happier? If so, how?
I try to appreciate small, Life is Beautiful moments, and savor them. As I write this, I hear the rain on my rooftop and the wind in the trees. It’s a gorgeous, peaceful sound, and I feel lucky just to listen to it. I also try not to let a day go by without feeling grateful for my family and my writing life—the two things I’ve always wanted most in the world.

What is your most surprising way of feeling happy?
Recently I’ve been thinking about a state I call the “happiness of melancholy.” Why do supposedly sad things, like minor key music or the evanescence of cherry blossoms, make us happy? I think they help us appreciate the fragile beauty of life and love.

* A great site to explore is Lifehacker. There's a lot there.

* Would you like a free, signed bookplate for your copy of The Happiness Project, or for a gift? Or, for the audio-book or the e-book, a free signature card? Sign up here or email me at gretchenrubin1@gretchenrubin.com.