The Happy and Not-So Happy Rantings of a Chocolate Mom

Bad Puppy vs. Hulk Smash Fist

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Mon, 01 Sep 2014 22:39:00 +0000

Popcorn beats Hulk Smash Fist by a knockout

Coffee kept looking at me like "I tried to warn her, by she ain"t listen!"

How Many Wives Have to Deal With the Other Woman?

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sun, 24 Aug 2014 02:35:00 +0000

First I had to deal with the girlfriend

Then I had to sit back and accept the other woman

He spent so much time and money on these chicks, I nearly lost my mind

I finally put my foot down and my husband got rid of them after years of my nagging

But now I have to share him with the new second wife...

I hate to admit it, but she's really pretty!

My Natural Deep Condition

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Fri, 22 Aug 2014 13:41:00 +0000

I do a deep condition once a month on my hair, I do a clay wash once a month, and then I do a natural Henna treatment on my hair once every 3 months (turns my grays golden and leaves my hair so soft and luxurious).

My darling daughter is finally on board with the natural hair movement (only took me 3 years of struggling to have her do it on her own when she saw how long, curly, and thick my hair was getting).

I keep telling her to look at YouTube to find videos on natural hair care, but this morning I thought "what better way to show her than to just show her?".

And without further ado, here's my video:

http://youtu.be/EdIq5ZQgOgc

Here are the results of my wash-n-go after. While my hair is wet I spray in cold Aloe Vera juice, seal it with my DIY oil conditioner, a drop of Garnier Fructis (my hair will not curl clump without a good mix), and lastly Ecostyler. I gently squeeze dry my hair with a t-shirt, toothbrush down my baby hair, add 2 bobby pins and vóila!!

Sorry, but no thank you ice bucket challenge...

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Wed, 20 Aug 2014 01:01:00 +0000

I'm not knocking anyone who's doing or done the ice bucket challenge. Matter of fact I think it's wonderful that social media can help bring awareness of any illness whether physical, mental or emotional.

However, where's the challenge to end police brutality? Where's the challenge to bring awareness to the death of our young black boys and black men? Where's the challenge to educate ourselves and our youth on the laws that are supposed to protect them? I'm brought to tears watching all these ALS challenges not because I know anyone suffering but because there is a city burning and no one is doing any challenge. Sigh.

Chilling and roller blading

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Tue, 19 Aug 2014 17:31:00 +0000

Dear Mom on the iPhone (Repost)

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 16 Aug 2014 12:27:00 +0000

THE BLOG

Dear Mom on the iPhone: You're Doing Fine

Jennifer Hicks 08/11/14 10:15 AM ET

Dear Mom on the iPhone,

I see you at the park with your kids, phone in hand. Your cherubs are running around playing and calling out "Mommy, watch me!" They go down the slide squealing in delight, yelling "Mommy, watch this!" As they climb the ladder to go again, they shout "Mommy, I want you to watch me!! Mommy, watch! Mommy! Mommy!! MOMMY!!!!"

But you're not watching... because you're on your phone -- checking Facebook, email or Pinterest.

You're not watching... because you just spent every waking hour before arriving at the park watching everything your child did. Every. Little. Thing.

You watched as he ate his breakfast and "drove" his waffles around his plate. You watched as he held the fork upside down and stabbed at bites with the handle and said "Mommy, now watch me do this!" And then he picked up his napkin and put it on his head. And you were watching.

You also watched as your daughter picked out her clothes -- only the shirt with the monkey on it would do today. Then you watched as she got dressed. You watched while she struggled to put on her socks -- determined to do it herself. You watched -- sometimes helping and guiding, but knowing that letting her figure it out is an important part of learning and growing.

You watched when she twirled around her bedroom. You watched as she played with her stuffed animals. You watched as she put away her toys. Slowly. Stopping to play with most of them on the way to the toy box. You were watching it all.

You watched as your kids brushed their teeth and hair. You watched as they played blocks and Play-Doh and had a dance party. You joined in because you love being a part of their fun. You watched while they pooped and helped wipe their bottoms. You watched them wash their hands with too much soap -- or maybe not enough. You watched as they splattered water all over the sink. You watched them jump off the stool and run around the house with wet hands.

You've been watching your kids -- playing with them, helping them, singing and dancing with them all morning. All day. And now, at the park, when they can run around and play, you're taking a few minutes for yourself on your phone.

Maybe you work from home and you're still actually working, checking email, responding to clients, sending a proposal. Your lucky kids have the benefit of spending some of that time playing outside, making new friends, running off steam, enjoying the sunshine. Kudos to you for giving your kids such a fun way to spend part of their day while you take care of business.

Maybe you have a friend or family member who's been ill and you're taking some time while the kids are happily occupied to send some texts to check in on them, arranging the timing to know when you should drop off dinner at their house. Or you might be looking for the email follow-up for your own test results you've been waiting on. Maybe you're writing or reading kind messages on Facebook, offering condolences for the loss of a loved one. All while your kids are outside, enjoying some free time to play.

Maybe you're on Pinterest looking for ideas to help your kids adjust to their dad's latest deployment -- finding tools to help them stay connected or searching for party ideas to welcome him home.

Maybe you have an older child in school and his teacher emailed you about a concern with behavior that you need to address... and now that you have a few minutes with your younger kids happily playing at the park, you return a message.

Or maybe you realize that watching your kid every second of every day isn't necessary and that it's totally acceptable and actually good for everyone involved -- for you to have a few minutes to yourself. At the park. On your phone.

So, to you, dear Mom on the iPhone, I say this:

I'm not going to judge you. I don't know you. I don't know your story. But I do know that you don't need to watch every hop, skip, jump, twirl, swing, bite, song, dance, blink or breath to be a good mom. There's a lot that demands our attention in this parenting life -- and a lot that we want to soak in and enjoy. There's also a lot that happens in our lives outside of parenting that we cannot neglect. While parenting might be our most important and rewarding job, it's not the only one.We're all working on balance and finding that area where we can be satisfied that we're making enough time for it all. For the record, we're all failing at that. Every single one of us wishes we were better at juggling our responsibilities... and many of us spend time beating ourselves up for how we're doing. You're doing fine. As long as you're doing your best to make it all work for your family, you're doing just fine, and that's what matters.

It's actually good for your kids to know they're not the center of your attention every second of every day. It's good for them to learn to play independently and do things on their own without accolades for Every. Little. Thing. That's good parenting -- allowing them to learn that some things are satisfying just for the fun and enjoyment of doing them, not for the praise or attention that comes with them.

So, find your balance. Be a mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor, mentor, employee -- wear all the hats you need to wear. Do what needs to be done... which sometimes includes taking a little time for yourself -- even if it's just checking Facebook while your kid runs around playing at the park.

Sincerely,

This Mom with an iPhone who isn't judging you for yours

This post originally appeared onreallifeparentingblog.com

My Daughter's Birthday Post to Me...

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Tue, 12 Aug 2014 19:47:00 +0000

Below is the tear inducing post my daughter wrote for me and the photo collage she created of the two of us. I live it so much!!!

Mommy and Daughter Naturalistas!

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Tue, 12 Aug 2014 03:30:00 +0000

What my darling daughter made:

My Natural Hairstyles over the past few months

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sun, 10 Aug 2014 23:48:00 +0000

It's been a loooooonnnnnnnggggg time! I wanted to share some of my favorite hairstyles (including my first blow dry in over a year) during the Spring and early Summer.

Yes, I'm still loving my naturalness! My straightened hair now reaches past my bra strap which is longer than it was 4 years ago with a perm. I can't believe. It was that long ago! Two strand twists and twist outs are still my go-to style (both skinny and just recently chunky pictured).

I now make my own oil and hair cream. I do a natural henna every 3 months, and once a month I do a homemade clay wash. There you have it. My hair update!

My magnificent Afro

My classy faux hawk Updo

It was time for a cut and straighten. I still can't believe how long it is, and this was achieved with just the blow dryer.

My twisted Bantu Knot-out

Skinny two strand twist out

And my new favorite: the chunky two strand twist-out

The teen and the tot Updates!

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 09 Aug 2014 00:34:00 +0000

LMy teenager!! She's 14 now and about to start high school! My goodness!

My Link! He's 5 now and best word to describe him would be precocious!

Popcorn and Coffee

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Fri, 08 Aug 2014 23:30:00 +0000

Not the morning got drink nor the salty snack you have at the movies. These fun titles belong to Coffee, our 9 year old boxer/lab, and Popcorn, our latest addition, a 6 month old puggle.

It took us almost 2 months to get this happy sharing of bed quarters!

It was a rocky start. Popcorn kept pissing and pooping in Coffee's bed trying to assert herself as Queen, and Coffee would just stand there looking helpless. Then if Popcorn wasn't doing that she was ripping Coffee's bed to shreds. We went through 2 beds for Coffee, and 2 beds for Popcorn. Anything with stuffing was demolished! We asked her vet what we should do, his advice? Get rid of all bedding and only use blankets, which of course isn't fair to our old lady but it's either that or we keep buying beds.

Then there was the 5am wake up calls in the morning from Popcorn in her crate, and I just couldn't take it anymore. So now we only crate Popcorn when we're out of the house, and her blanket became both of their beds. When we got Coffee, she was a year and fully trained and it is like having a baby all over again with Popcorn. Lost teeth, potty training, crying in the middle of the night, etc. is all new to me. I've been watching YouTube videos and reading lots of puppy blogs.

Oh yeah, and she's quite the escape artist. Not only did we have to put a harbinger on the crate but also a lock. She figured out how to lift the handle and slide it open. When we fixed that she figured out how to just push the gate door just enough to squeeze out the bottom of it.

Friends and family were like "you're crazy to get a puppy this time in your life! That's TWO dogs?!" But I guess I was having a moment one day. Hysterectomy last year left me with a nagging feeling every time I was around new babies and I just felt I "needed" her in my life, you know? There you have it. I'll have to tell the story another time!

Snow/Ice but a non-Snow day Pissing NYC Teachers off!

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Wed, 05 Feb 2014 11:47:00 +0000

Been a Long Time bloggers, but it felt compelled this morning...

Sitting at home watching News 12 and Channel 4, and I'm really sick of Mayor Deblasio telling everyone to stay off the roads but he leaves NYC schools open??

I'm not a baby sitter, I teach for a living and refuse to risk life and limb to sit in a class with only 5-10 students whose parents want them to have perfect attendance for graduation or they only live a block away from school!!

My First blow out & Senegalese Twists...

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Tue, 30 Jul 2013 01:53:00 +0000

I recently did my first henna treatment prior to blowing out my hair for the first time in over a year. My cousin suggested I do a treatment before styling my hair in Senegalese twists for the summer. I used Jamila Henna on my hair and Maddy's.

Here's my blowout and twists:

And I've also stepped up my nail game:

Busy busy busy!

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Mon, 29 Jul 2013 01:35:00 +0000

I hope to get back to this blog sooner than later!

But I will do some updates:

➡Darling daughter is now THIRTEEN!!

➡Link is four and a half and getting ready for kindergarten in September!!

➡I'm finally working on putting my poetry book together to self-publish!

➡I'm still on my path to being a better Christian, Wife, and mother!

➡Hubby and I are about to celebrate our 8th Wedding Anniversary!

➡I had to have a hysterectomy! (Bright side - no more periods!)

➡I'm turning FORTY in 2 weeks!!!!!

Lots more...but that's it for now!

Marble Nail Art

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 01:40:00 +0000

So it took me about 3 hours to get my nails they way I wanted or even to look like they were marbleized.

I can't wait to show them off!

Trying My Hand at Nail Art

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Tue, 16 Apr 2013 02:17:00 +0000

Here's my first attempt at marble nail art. Even though I used tape, I clearly made a huge mess all over my finger. Didn't get quite enough blue, but I believe it's from where I placed my finger in the water.

Will post final nail designs.

Hair Washing Lesson Via Text

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 23:42:00 +0000

So my girl hits me up on text about one of my natural posts about co-washing and this is how it went:

Cat: Pheebs I was looking at ur blog. Read the one about the hair loss. What does co-wash mean?

Me: Washing your hair using conditioner only. I haven't used a shampoo in over a year it strips the hair and leaves it worse than with it. Or I use a hair cleanser.

Cat: Ohhhhh ok. We dont use shampoo either. Been a few years. But didnt know there was a term for that. Btw sometimes I lose a lot of hair...and I've been natural since 25! Esp lose more when I wear it curly.

Me: Me too!! The curliest I wear it the more I lose. I try to do a dry wash with a water bottle and my conditioner to detangle and sometimes that helps. Don't always have time to do that though.

Cat: I dont know the dry wash thing, you have to teach me.

Me: Before you want to wash your hair put your hair in about 4 sections. Take one section and saturate with water from a spray bottle. Add your conditioner to your scalp and work it through. Use a wide tooth comb or a big tooth brush and go from end to root. Takes time. When I do this I usually tie my head up and do a deep condition for a day of two. Then my hair is tangle free and super clean. Day like today would be perfect. If not you tie it up in a plastic cap with a sexy scarf over t and no one is the wiser. Lol

Cat: lol

There you have it - co-washing, set detangling, and deep conditioning 101!

No Hurt Feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 20:53:00 +0000

Link just woke up from a nap and came directly to my room where I scooped him up to cuddle.

Link: can I go play now?
Me: but don't you want to cuddle with mommy for a lil bit
Link: I do but I don't.
I proceed to tickle him.
Link: Mommy can you please stop tickling me, I really want to go play.
Me: oh, alright. Make sure you put your slippers on.
Link: sure.
He's gone no more than 30 seconds when I hear him running back to the room.
Link: I changed my mind. I will cuddle with you for a lil bit.
Me: But I thought you wanted to okay?
Link: I do but I'd rather not hurt your feelings more because I love you!

I kissed him a million times and told him it was okay to go a d play!

I love Saturday afternoons with the Linkster!!!

New Winter Sport...

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 19:34:00 +0000

Snow Swimming!!

Wha'chu Know Bout This?

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 19:31:00 +0000

Yummy saltine crackers with butter!!

Snow-flation!!

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 12:54:00 +0000

Did this old man just ring my doorbell to wake me up on a blizzard Saturday at 7:30am to ask me to shovel my driveway for $100?!?!?!

What happened to the teenagers running around offering to do shovel a driveway for $20?!?! Then he tried to hustle me done to $85!

My back is completely shot and I couldn't shovel the driveway if I wanted to, but I'd rather wait for the spring thaw than pay $100!!!

Pics of My Winter Wonderland

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Sat, 09 Feb 2013 12:51:00 +0000

They'll be no leaving the house today!!!

Look how long my hair is getting!!!

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Wed, 06 Feb 2013 22:10:00 +0000

I decided to do a braid and braid out which I haven't done in forever. I was shocked to see how long my hair is completely stretched out!!

Go Naturalistas!!!

Does Your Spouse Snore?

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Fri, 01 Feb 2013 03:23:00 +0000

Because right now my hubby is chopping some serious wood!!!

Ironically I just listened today to a comedian talking about people who snore so bad that when you try to roll them over they snore with the movement - my hubby just did that!!!

You ever have them snore so bad they wake themselves up and look at you like you did something?!

Where are my headphones?!

Washing Hair Loss

noreply@blogger.com (Chocolate Mom aka Blupoetres) — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 10:28:00 +0000

I'm about to have 3 years in this natural hair experience and I still lose tons of hair when I co-wash my hair.

Naturalistas out there, do you still have this problem?

This is what my tub looks like when I'm done and how much it amounts to in my hand: