The Happy Geek

The Hole Story

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 12:44:00 +0000

There are many great mysteries in life.

Stonehenge. Why people enjoy watching Cricket. Man's true purpose. Why little boys must wear the knees out on their pants.

I do not have the answers to the questions, but I do have a solution for one of the problems raised by these mysteries.

Sears Kidvantage.

Sears ~~rather foolishly~~ guarantees all their kids clothes. If a child wears it out before they outgrow it, they will replace the item for free.

Repeatedly.

It's enough to make a mom of little boys do a cartwheel at the cash register. Except that would lead to a visit from the paramedics and who has time for that?

Anyway, last year at Christmas time I bought Spud three pairs of pants from Sears. I cringed at the price as I am much more accustomed to buying things from clearance racks and second-hand stores. However, second hand pants with the knees intact for the 3-7 year old set are about as common as a keg party at a Southern Baptist Convention. And pants from clearance racks still lose their knees in about a month in this house.

So, I bought the pants, paying nearly 40 dollars for three pairs. It has been worth every last penny as we have replaced those pants 12 times in less than a year. Yep. I go pretty much once a month and they give me a new pair. Spud wore one pair less than five times before we were back getting new ones. It means that I have paid less than 2 dollars for each pair that we have worn through. And he still isn't done. I noticed last night his jeans have a day or two left in them. At best. There's a lot to be said for slow-growing children, more time to ~~totally abuse~~ take advantage of this money-saving program.

There are other retailers that offer this program as well. Which is a good thing as Sears may be forced to cancel their program because of us. So, if you have little boys, and Nana wants to know what to get them for Christmas, now you have a suggestion. Pants from Sears. Truly the gift that just keeps on giving.

Overflowing

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 12:24:00 +0000

My boys are good at many things. Talking, hugging, singing and spilling. They are especially good at spilling. I must sweep after every meal and at least three times a week (on a good week) a full glass of milk is spilled at mealtimes.

This is an area where I am struggling to be patient in. You see, we have hardwood floors. Yes they are beautiful, but only when clean. And mine stay clean for 2.5 seconds once a week. I read a post recently where an amazing single gal was day dreaming about dancing on her hardwoods with her future hubby. I too dream about my hardwoods, Way Cooler and I, only we are ripping up the stupid things and replacing them with linoleum like God intended for homes with young men.

Last Tuesday I had just cleaned all morning because we host our caregroup every Tuesday night. So, at lunch both boys spilled full glasses of milk on the floor. To say I was a little upset is like saying the Mississippi is a small creek.

I was a ball of fussing, grumping resentment.

But then a voice reminded me of what I had prayed for that very morning.

A heart overflowing with thanksgiving.

Mine wasn't even beginning to drip.

So, as I cleaned the milk, I practised that which I wanted.

Thank-you that I have boys to spill this milk.

Thank-you for milk to spill.

Thank-you for more milk to refill the cups.

Thank-you for a floor to spill it on.

Thank-you for a husband who works so hard to provide milk and floors.

Thank-you for strong arms to clean this spill.

Thank-you that my boys are able to receive correction and can be trained to change the behaviours that caused the spill.

Thank-you for grace.
Grace that forgives an angry momma and allows to her to extend it to her boys so that milk is not the only thing overflowing today.

Thank-you.

Maybe Three Isn't So Bad

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 11:54:00 +0000

The other day I was holding Sprout in my arms for a little face to face chat about some behaviours that I wanted to um, modify.

When our chat was done he told me to hold out my hand. This is fairly common around here ever since Spud read The Kissing Hand in school. He told Sprout about it and Sprout really latched onto the whole concept. I am often asked to hold out my hand so that Sprout can kiss it and then proclaim, "This is my love for you."

Pleased that he was still OK with me even after our um, chat, I did. He kissed my hand and said, "this is love." I went to put him down, but a little hand gently grabbed my face and held it while he kissed my forehead. "This is love."

Then my neck, nose, cheeks, lips and shoulder. After each proclaiming, "This is love."

It is buddy. It sure is.

Linkage!!!

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 11:54:00 +0000

We've been pumpkin picking, pumpkin carving, play-landing, church going, family bonding, birthday partying, story reading, snow driving, and picture making.

My poor computer is getting dusty.

I'm discovering that's a good thing.

BUT, not everyone has let their poor blogs wither away. Here are some of my favorite reads recently.

Melissa has tickled my funnybone yet again. It's the ultimate sitter instruction letter.

Beck has been taking classic children's stories and giving them a Halloween-y twist. These are NOT meant to be read to your kids. Unless you'd like your kids to stay awake for the next six months or so. But for adult who have to read these stories a bazillion times, well, Beck's takes are SO MUCH BETTER. Scroll down to read them all.

Antique Mommy reminded me of one thing I miss about teaching. The unexpected joy from a simple assignment.

I read this a week ago on Tonggu Momma's Sunday Linkage and it still makes me shake my head a week later. I really hate judging parents before I know the whole story and have walked in their shoes, but in this case I will make an exception. I hope they've saved up for their daughter's therapy.

Happy Monday!!

7 Quick Takes Vacation Edition

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 11:42:00 +0000

1. While in Texas we went to the Texas State Fair. It was too much fun. I even almost tried the deep fried butter but upon seeing other people eating it, thought better of it and stuck to a sausage. In fact, my credit card had such a good time at the fair that it decided to stay and jumped out of my wallet in order to do so.

I discovered this the next morning when I went to pay for my purchases at Kohl's. However, some amazing soul turned in my credit card to the lost and found. So, after Way Cooler's conference let out we went to pick it up. Our arrival coincided with the ending of the OU/UT game. There are 5 million people in the Metroplex. I think every last one of them was at the fair along with the greater portion of Oklahoma. But I had my credit card, so I happily waded through the throng.

2. We flew to Texas on Areoplan points and decided to splurge and upgrade to Executive. What a ridiculously fun way to fly. There's nothing quite like munching mixed nuts and sipping herbal tea while watching a movie in a very comfy seat. It's really ruined me for the next time I have to fly economy with kids.

3. I tend not to drink alcohol, mainly because I am very, very cheap and it's rather expensive here in Canada. I cannot bring myself to pay that much for a beverage. However, it was free in Executive so I decided to try some. Turns out, I do not like wine or beer, (really, people pay money for that?) but Bailey's in hot chocolate is quite a treat. However, I think I'll stick to my Coke Zero from here on in.

4. I watched "My Sister's Keeper" on the plane. This is not something I would recommend. Unless sobbing uncontrollably amongst fifty strangers not watching the same movie is your idea of a good time. Otherwise, this one is best watched on your own.

5. You Southern women really need to help me out. I think I drank my weight in sweet tea while down there and really don't want to wait another six years to have some again. I'd forgotten how very good it is. How does one make it at home? Please help me. Please. I'm in some serious withdrawal here.

6. Early Saturday morning I was able to shop at Kohl's all by myself. Early morning shopping was one of my favorite pre-child activities and it was very enjoyable to do it again. But it got me thinking, I don't think I'd trade it for my current early Saturday morning ticklefests with two small boys. I loved the pre-kid season and I love this one now. So very different, and yet both so very good.

7. Biscuits and Gravy is THE breakfast of champions. Forever and amen.

For more Quick Takes, please visit Jennifer at Conversion Diary. Even if you don't want the quick takes, visit Jennifer anyway. Her blog is truly one of the most thought provoking out there.

The trip

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 12:03:00 +0000

I'm back.

It was fabulous.

Can I make a confession? I didn't really even miss my kids. Not much anyway. I knew they were having more fun than I was, and I see them all day, every single day of their lives. I've gotten enough of them over the years to tide me through a few days apart.

And I didn't even feel guilty typing that.

Much.

Anyway, I could go on and on about my trip, (and probably will in future posts) but just wanted to pop in, say hi and tell you the highlights.

It was snowing when I left. I had shoveled. They de-iced the plane. It was sunny and 28 degrees (C) when we landed. That alone made the trip absolutely perfect.

I went here. Twice. That story is worth a post ALL to itself.

I ate here. Three times in one day. That alone will reduce my life expectancy by at least six months, but it was so worth it.

I shopped here for the first time. Got me two bras. Man, those things are comfy. Worth every penny. And if you have ever spent time at this blog, you know I do not say that lightly. At all.

I had coffee with her. And her. Both of whom are the ultimate in Southern women; friendly, warm, charming and funny as all get out. Those coffees were definitely highlights of the trip.

And then I came home to the two cutest boys on the planet.

It was perfect.

Fashionably Yours

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 11:34:00 +0000

Recently I have been downtown for several medical appointments. Both times I was alone, (Praise Jesus) which necessitated me getting there early so I could drink an Iced Capp and people watch, which to me is much better than TV. Or almost anything.

I actually didn't get there early just to goof off but because I am physically incapable of being late. For anything. Seriously, I am certain I will go up in flames if I am not at least five minutes early. Since I have no desire to leave my kids without a mother I always give myself plenty o' time to arrive at my destination.

While people watching I made some general observations about fashion. Now I must admit, this is a little bold, seeing as how I never pay more than ten dollars for any piece of clothing I own and happily wear hand-me downs from a 60 year old, but it is my blog. I can be as bold as I want.

1. EVERY single male between the ages of 20-40 who works downtown wears a dark suit with a blue shirt and a tie that had at least one pastel colour on it. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Usually I am a sucker for a guy in suit, but this, it was just a bit frightening. It was like walking into a factory of little pin-striped worker boys.

2. Short women should NOT wear a maxi dress. EVER. Unless the wearer likes to look like a five year old wearing mommy's clothes, in which case, carry on.

3. Women who haven't seen the inside of a gym in at least ten years and have a fondness for fried chicken should not wear high waisted pants.

4. NO ONE should wear generic flip-flops with a business suit. Man or woman. And yes, I saw examples of both. It was almost painful to look at.

5. Just because one wear an expensive suit and drink a fancy latte does not give one the right to
butt in line in front of the housewife at the LRT pay station.

OK, it's not a fashion observation per se, but it was ugly.

Just in case you were wondering, the medical appointments were about nothing serious, just the reoccurring drama of the lumpy thyroid. It's still lumpy, it is not cancerous and some glorious day I may develop hyperthyroidism. Never in my life have I wanted a condition so badly. Why? If I have hyperthyroidism I lose weight. WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING. Yee haw. Yes, there is the whole racing heart, cold limbs, messed up bowel stuff to worry about, but hey I'll be thin. What's not to love?

A Canadian Geek's Guide to Texas

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 11:41:00 +0000

As I've mentioned, I have an upcoming trip to Texas. It has got me thinking about our move there. Things were a bit different in Texas than up here, but nobody told me that. Consequently I made a bit of a turkey of myself on more than one occasion. I don't want that to happen to anyone else, so as a service to you, I am offering a Geek's guide for Canadians living in Texas.

You're welcome.

1. When people say to put something up, they mean to put it away. This can be confusing if someone tells you to put it up down there, but I'm sure you'll catch on quickly. Or at least faster than I did.

2. If someone offers you tea, it will be in a glass with ice cubes. And if you are lucky it will have enough sugar in it that you could stand a spoon up in it. If you want tea as we know it, you have to ask for hot tea. But don't. Have the tea in a glass. It will make you swear off Goodhost forever. I plan to drink my weight in sweet tea while we are there.

3. If you go to someones house do not take off your shoes. Yes, I know it is weird, and yes they do spend a fortune in steam-cleaning, but if you do take off your shoes, like say for your first time at care group, everyone will look at you weirdly and talk about you. Not that I speak from experience or anything.

4. If you are ever in a group of seminary wives, do not ask who Beth Moore is. Even if you don't know. Go google her. Asking that kind of a question can cause a collective gasp that will literally suck the oxygen right out of the room. Also, you may get on a prayer list or two.

5. No one knows what a washroom is. Bathroom, yes, washroom, well, more staring.

6. Chik-fil-a is closed on Sunday. But make sure you go every other day of the week. I honestly believe that a Chick-fil-a sandwich is the reason God made poultry.

7. They do not sell Smarties in the USA. At least not Smarties as we know them. Instead of the lovely bits of candy covered chocolate that we know and love, they are those nasty rolls of compressed sugar that everyone trades away at Halloween.

8. Do not go to the state Fair on the day of the OU vs Texas game. If you do go, wear orange. Do not, for any reason wear burgundy. THIS IS VERY VERY IMPORTANT. I do not speak from experience on this one, well, we were at the fair on game day, but we were appropriately attired so we did not get rolled, but I can see how it might happen.

9. Pecan is pronounced pa-cahn, not pee-can. As I heard many many times, (many many) a pee can is something you keep under the bed. Good thing that joke never got old. Ahem.

These are just a few tips to make your first week or so a bit more pleasant than mine. Coming next, "the Joy of the Coupon."

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:55:00 +0000

Post originally published November 7 2007.

Well, I found myself grumbling a lot today about the advent of winter. It's just not my favorite season. However, I have also had the indisputable privilege of listening to or being around the umpteenth showing of Madame Blueberry. As a result I have "A Thankful Heart is a Happy Heart" running through my head over and over and over again. At some point I have to pay attention.

So, because I could use this whole happy heart thing, and not the grouchy mommy who appears at our house on an all-too-frequent basis I have been thinking of the top ten reasons I am thankful for winter and I will share them with you.

10. No more mosquitoes. This is especially good because Spud has this compulsive need to pick at his bites until they bleed. Over and over again. Oh, and family members, you don't need to comment and sarcastically ask where he got that from, I know I did it too, but I kinda wanted him to inherit my winning smile and my killer wit, not the weird, compulsive need to pick at anything abnormal on his skin.

9. My deck and my garage can now double as an extra freezer and fridge.

8. I no longer have to sit on the bus and wonder if that lady is wearing a bikini top or if she is just wearing her bra. And nothing else on top. On the bus. In front of my kids. But then I realize that they probably don't make purple satin bikinis with lace.

7. I no longer have to wonder what would possess someone to wear just a bra and cut-offs on the bus. In front of my kids.

6. Wintry days are perfect for cuddling up in front of a fire with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. Unfortunately Sprout would make for the fire like a moth to a flame, knocking my hot chocolate over onto my book on his way. But winter days are still good for thinking about a fire, with a book and hot chocolate while I help my kids paint with shaving cream.

5. Snow is pretty. ~~So are flowers, I miss flowers~~

4. The steady stream of unwanted door to door solicitation pretty much dries up in the winter. The only ones brave enough are the missionaries (of all faiths) and I have sympathy for them. I might even give them a cup of coffee. But it'll depend on how well this whole happy heart thing holds up.

3. Way Cooler no longer has to mow the lawn giving him more time to ~~watch hockey~~ play with his kids.

2. Tobogganing. Because there is nothing like careening down an icy hill on a thin piece of plastic (with no steering) in -20 degree weather to say, I'm a crazy Canadian.

1. And the number one good thing about winter, it only lasts for 4-5 months!

Happy Thanksgiving Canadian Style

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 11:16:00 +0000

Post originally published October 12th 2008.

Monday is Thanksgiving here in Canada. For my American readers, there are a few differences between the two holidays. Here are the observations of a geek whose lived on both sides of the border.

1. It's colder here, thus harvest ends earlier, so we are thankful earlier. At least that's the official explanation. I think the real reason is that we get being thankful out of the way before winter hits and we turn into a nation of whiners.

2. It's not quite the same extended celebration. It is a more low key holiday than it's American counterpart.

3. No good sales the day after. Oh Black Friday, how I miss you.

4. No pilgrims.Other than that, pretty much the same. Including numerous pre-school projects involving turkeys and children dictating what they are thankful for. When I went to pick up Spud's artwork I noticed a group of moms gathered around the various turkeys and they were snickering a bit. Most of the lists were pretty sweet. Kids were thankful for family, friends, food, pets etc. Then I looked at Spud's turkey and I began to understand the snickers.

Spud is thankful for:
1. Larry Boy
2. Movies
3. Cowie.

Cowie? What the heck is a cowie? So I asked Spud.

Turns out Cowie a small stuffed cow he got in a Happy Meal once.So Spud, let me get this straight. I threw up for nine months straight while carrying a nine lb breech baby, have a four inch scar for the rest of my life, spent four months calming a colicky baby, changed 6000 diapers or so and gave up sleep for the first year of your life and you are thankful for a 14 cent toy given to you by a soul-less corporation in order to further hook you on it's trans-fat laden crack?

Alrighty then.

So I tried another tactic,"Spud, I'm thankful for you.""

OK Mommy. Can I watch a movie now?"

Happy Thanksgiving to me.

I'm Rather Hesitant to Stick a Title Here

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:19:00 +0000

Hey there.

Is it just me or is this blog getting rather dusty?

I am very hesitant to classify what I do on the blog as "writing" but I am having a bout of writer's block. It HAS been busy around here, but when I do get a chance to sit and blog, I stare and stare at the computer screen. Or I type stuff that makes me want to hang my head and cry.

The other day I had 30 minutes free just to blog. I got down the following in that time.

Two weeks ago it was plus thirty. It was amazing. Today it is topping out at 1 and is currently snowing. Which is the opposite of amazing.

The exact opposite.

Yep. It took me half an hour to write five pitiful sentences about the weather.

Yee haw.

So, if you notice some re-runs in the next week or so, I'm just trying to keep this blog from becoming the weather network.

I'll be back.

I hope.

Calling all Southern Belles

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:11:00 +0000

At some point this fall (how's that for vague) I am going back to Texas for a few days. Way Cooler has to attend a conference of homileticians and I am tagging along thanks to Aeroplan points.

While he is at the conference I am on a personal quest to eat my way across the Metroplex.

Yes, my weekend doesn't sound quite as fun as Way Cooler's but I'll just have to deal with it.

One of my favorite things in Texas was Southern food. I mainly ate southern cooking at potlucks and Luby but that was enough to give me a deep and abiding love for soul food and everything Southern fried.

So my Southern friends, where is the best place to find the following?:

Biscuits and gravy

Peach cobbler

Green beans cooked with bacon (which is the way God intended for them to be cooked)

Cornbread

Sweet tea

Chicken fried steak

squash casserole

I think we have the BBQ situation under control, our first stop after getting off the plane will be Cousins. We plan to eat until they roll us out at closing time. But for the rest, help a Canadian out. Where do you get the good stuff?

Another Meme. I Stole it From Beck. I know. You are Shocked.

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 10:57:00 +0000

1. The phone rings. Who will it be? Most likely some member of my family. Less likely my brother than the others, but you never know. My most recent conversation with him lasted 48 seconds and involved hard-boiling an egg. He's not much of a phone man.

2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? I now try to shop at Co-op where the very nice man takes my groceries to the car, puts them in the car and then takes the cart back and doesn't want a tip. IT'S LOVELY.

3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? That would involve being a social setting. Can't say I do that much any more.

4. Do you take compliments well? I had a roommate who criticized the way I took compliments. She also criticized the way I did my hair, the way I talked, the way I cleaned, etc, so I didn't take it all that seriously. I think I do, and no one else has seen fit to say anything, so short story long, yes I do.

5. Do you play Sudoku? It involves math. The idea of doing something with math for fun puzzles me. In my opinion, Sduko people are actually a wee bit weird.

6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? You bet. If by wilderness you mean a Motel Six with a limited continental breakfast. Otherwise, probably not.

7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? Yep. Learned all KINDS of new words.

8. What was your favorite game as a kid? The one where everyone went away and let me read in peace.

9. If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he was married, would you? Ummm, I'm sorry, could you repeat the question? I was laughing too hard after hearing sexy person pursuing me. Cause that's gonna happen right after pigs sprout wings and McDonald's fries become a healthy choice.

10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Nope, I'm married. It's best I not date at all.

11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I'd prefer avoiding running altogether thankyouverymuch.

12. Use three words to describe yourself? Not too shabby.

13. Do any songs make you cry? Opening a Kleenex box can make me cry. Any sappy song can reduce me to a weepy mess faster than you can say Christmas Shoes.

14. Are you continuing your education? I really have no idea at this point in time. I'd like to say something philosophical about the whole lifelong learner stuff, but I spend my day with small children and big ideas are now far beyond me.

15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? Heavens no. What kind of a fool would give this klutz a gun?

16. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? Yep. Every single youthgroup trip to West Ed Mall would not have been complete without all the girls squeezing themselves into one of those booths.

17. How often do you read books? That's like asking "how often do you breath?"

18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? I'm thinking this is one of those big idea questions. I honestly have no idea. I think about slushies.

19. What is your favorite children’s book? I could not possibly narrow it down to one. But I know for sure, it is not Walter the Farting Dog.

20.What color are your eyes? Blue.

21. How tall are you? If I am standing really tall I am 5' 2".

22. Where is your dream house located? Wherever my three men are.

23. If your house was on fire, what are the first things you grab? The boys, the phone and I'd make sure Way Cooler knew about the need to evacuate. He 's too tall to carry.

24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? Last week. ON A DATE. For Never-Ending Pasta Bowl. It just doesn't get better than that.

25. Where was the furthest place you traveled today? An over-priced kids consignment store.

26. Do you like mustard? On a smokie with sauerkraut. Otherwise, meh.

Sprout Sez

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 11:19:00 +0000

I posted a few weeks ago that we are experiencing THREE round these parts. Some of you gently suggested this may not be age, but rather personality.

I'm choosing to ignore this wisdom. I'm still holding out that this is JUST A PHASE and come March or so, it will all be gone.

Nothing like a little blind optimism to get one through the day.

In the meantime, for your chuckling pleasure, may I share with you more examples of why I don't get anything done around here, just too busy "training."

Sprout is still sucking his thumb. We have determined based on his personality that it's now just a habit, he doesn't really need it for comfort and we are going to help him break the habit before his orthodontic needs break our budget. The other day I looked in the rear view mirror and saw his hand up around his face.

HG: "Sprout, thumb."

Sprout (With all the indignation a three year old can muster) "my thumb is not in my mouth, my finger is up my nose."

Well, then, carry on.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

In an effort to re-channel some energy while drying him off after a bath I asked him if he could sing me a song.

He replied that he could not.

15 seconds later he burped. Then he turned to me and said, "I burped. That is my song for you."

Isn't he precious?

---------------------------------------------------------------

He was repeatedly tattling on his brother and came downstairs while I was washing dishes to report yet another insanely minor annoyance. I was getting rather frustrated. So I decided to count to ten in my head to cool down before I asked yet again if he had used his steps.

I hadn't made it to three when he was off again, hollering "Hey Spud, Mommy wants to talk to you."

Nothing like a little proactivity. That's my Sprout. He gets the job done. Even if there is no job to do.

But then, every so often he looks at me and smiles and says "I love you mommy. You are my friend." He smiles his million watt smile and I totally forget why I was correcting him.

Mission accomplished.

Take That

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 11:42:00 +0000

1. You know how I was ~~complaining~~ mentioning that the weather was rather awful this summer? September has made up for it. In spades. The kids have been playing in the sprinkler every afternoon this week. Which is kind of unheard of for us. It was even hotter here yesterday than it was in Dallas. Which just makes me smile. I'll take warm whenever and wherever I can get it.

2. I have a dear friend Char. She lives in a remote northern community that has been greatly impacted by the US recession (even though it's Canadian. It's a long story). Anyway. Many of the men in the town have had to leave to find work elsewhere leaving behind wives and kids. Char is starting up a group for women whose husbands are away, but doesn't know what to call it. She's asked all you lovelies to come up with some ideas. You can visit her blog and leave a suggestion or just one here in the comments. If you do visit her blog, don't mind the dust. She hasn't posted in months. Maybe if you leave a comment she might start blogging again. Stranger things have happened.

3. I realized I have not told you all what's been happening with the headaches. They've been a great deal better. Due in part to it being summer, it always seem to get better in the summer and due in part to my new best friend, Motrin. That seems to be the one pill that does it for me when all others failed.

4. This week at the library we just discovered the wonder that is Cornelius P. Mud. My kids think this is the BEST BOOK EVER. Spud laughed so hard the first time I read it I thought he was going to wet himself. So I quickly slid him off the couch and finished the story. I think I've read it 566 times since. If you have small boys with a quirky sense of humour, you gotta try this one.

5. My nephew has a new hobby. Sticking items up his nose. Someone suggested to my sister that she the nostril closed that isn't blocked and then blow into his mouth to dislodge the item. Apparently this is called a "Mother's Kiss". I call it, "some women are waaay better mothers than me". That's what pediatricians and specialized instruments are for. Do remember my sister in prayer as this is the fourth time he's lodged something up there in three weeks. The fact that she is still sane is testament to how wonderful she really is.

6. Our DVD player decided it just could not take one more moment of Bob and Larry and died this week. To Spud this was an unspeakable tragedy. So, we took ourselves off to Best Buy. Man, those things are cheap now. We got one for 40 bucks. I was thinking back to when they first came out and they were 300-400 each. It must be a sign that DVDs are going the way of VHS tapes. Now if I could just get Way Cooler to set it up, Spud will be able to live again.

7. Numb3rs starts again tomorrow night. Yee haw. A show where the geeks are cool. It just doesn't get any better than that.

For more geek-free quick takes, please visit Jen at Conversion Diary.

Look Ma, I Cleaned

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:38:00 +0000

Last week I tackled a job sorely in need of doing. SORELY.

I cleaned my pantry. After a gpring of headaches and a summer of not wanting to miss a moment of good weather it looked like what I would imagine a fraternity pantry might look like if they were big on stocking up on sale items.

It was horrendous. I wouldn't even let the boys in it for fear I might lose them in the rubble.

And because I love you, I even took pictures of it for you. After viewing it I promise you will feel much much better about yourselves and the state of your homes.

The gasp you just heard was my mother's shock that I would post this disaster out there on the world wide web thing-y. I truly have no shame. I promise, she did raise me better.

That's not enough proof for you? How about this? Somewhere in the wreckage was this.

Yep, so messy I lost a bar of dark chocolate. Which is pretty miraculous because my chocolate sensor is a finely tuned instrument. There has to be fair bit of debris for me to miss it.

After a full day of completely ignoring my kids, look at what I did.

Well what do you know. There is a floor in there. Isn't it purty? I must confess, it is rather sad how happy this pantry makes me now. And if that isn't proof of geek, I don't know what is.

You Know You Might be A SAHM

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:03:00 +0000

You know you might be a SAHM if...

- Grocery shopping alone is one of your favorite things to do.

- You wear the knees out of your jeans at least once a year.

- You know the words to every silly song ever written.

- Due to constant exposure to incorrect pronunciations you have lost the ability to pronounce the th blend and now say free instead of three and frow instead of throw.

- Your idea of dressing up is your good jeans.

- You have memorized the recipe for play dough.

- You know all the playgrounds in a five mile radius and have named most of them based on features found there.

- You always shower with an audience.

- You ask the hostess at a restaurant where the potty is, even when you don't have your children with you.

- You've got the Treehouse schedule memorized.

- Poop no longer grosses you out.

- You have at least five children's books memorized. Front to back and back to front.

-Peeing alone is something you look forward to.

What else?

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 11:29:00 +0000

Dear Mr. Hilfiger,

I usually don't write this kind of letter,I mean, I don't even know you, but after last night I feel the need to share with you.

I went into your store. You know, the one with your name on it and more red, white and blue than a Fourth of July picnic in Boise. It was my very first time. You see, all my life I've disliked you. You're cool, I'm not, your stuff is ~~ridiculously over-priced~~ a tad pricey, I'm cheap and up until recently you were only available at the Bay. Happy Geek don't do the Bay.

Anyway, I was by myself at the new outlet mall. The sheer euphoria of being alone in an outlet mall here in Canada was getting to me and I wandered into your store. Then I spotted them. Huge racks of women's tops for six dollars.

They called to me in an irresistible way.

Now you may not know this, because I am guessing you don't shop there often but in these parts even Goodwill shirts are five bucks a piece. And your shirts were new. They were free of painted pictures of puppies and no one had ever sweated in them. And they were 6 bucks a piece. The joy was overwhelming.

So I loaded up my arms and headed for the dressing room.

This is where we began to run into problems. Apparently your sizing is based on women who eat two grapes a month and feel full.

The first shirt I tried on was a small. After I struggled into it and couldn't finish buttoning it up, I realized I had a bigger issue. The circulation in my arms was being cut off by the sleeves. Then I tried to get out. It was a mighty struggle. At one point I was considering applying large quantities of hand lotion to grease my way out of the situation, but then I would be stuck buying a greasy shirt that wouldn't fit a cabbage patch doll.

Now Tommy, can I call you Tommy? Tommy, we gotta talk. I will be the first to tell you, I got waaay too much junk in the trunk, my thighs are the size of normal people's waists and I have some serious baby jelly-belly going on, but my arms, they are normal. If I can't fit my skinny little arms into your shirts, then maybe the problem isn't me, it might be you.

I tried on ten shirts Tommy, and only fit two. I had to get them in medium. MEDIUM? I am 5 foot two. La Senza doesn't even carry my bra size as it is too small. TOO SMALL FOR THE NATIONAL LINGERIE RETAILER. I am NOT a medium topped gal.

Tommy can I make a suggestion? Because I know you want to keep up with the needs of your customers, especially the ones who spend twelve dollars at a time at your stores. Work on the sizing. Because when a woman can't fit her arms into sleeves, well, that tells her she's fat. And only a moron does that.

Sincerely,

Happy Geek

Is it Just Me, or is This a Tad Confusing?

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 10:51:00 +0000

My parents live in a wonderful little town about an hour away from our city. It has beautiful old homes, a fantastic bakery, a really good aquatic centre and these signs.

Now I know where all the students I flunked in my English classes found jobs.

Is it Friday Already?

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 09:58:00 +0000

My goodness this week has whipped by. I'm not certain that we actually got 7 whole days this week. Someone must have taken one away somewhere. This helps back up my theory that the warmer the weather, the faster the week. January is actually 564 days long.

Thank heavens for 7 Quick Takes. Jennifer is a certified genius for coming up with this carnival.

1. The 40th anniversary I referred to the other day was not mine. Thank-you to my favorite Smart Alecs for pointing out that it wasn't that clear. My parents were the ones celebrating this rather large milestone. We had a wonderful day of church, family and lots and lots of food. I'm still working on a post about them and their anniversary. At the rate I'm going it will be ready for their 45th, but the intent is there.

2. On our deck we have a large box that I store the boy's outdoor toys in. It sits against the railing and the boys were climbing on it the other day. This wasn't very safe as they could fall over so I told them to not climb on it again. In an attempt to obey me (a very lame attempt I might add) this is the solution Sprout came up with. He took a lawn chair and put it on top of the box and then stood on that. When I started ~~yelling at~~ gently correcting him he pointed out that I had not said anything about a chair.

Who can argue with that kind of logic? So I have now banned him from being near, looking at or even thinking about the box. Problem solved.

3. I have a question for all of you with good hair. I now style my hair with just the blowdryer and a round brush. It works well except for one minor detail. Every time I do my hair my ears feel like they are going to burn right off my head. Which would be inconvenient as I'd then have no place to rest my hearing aids.* So, is there anything I can do to protect my ears from the intense heat they have to endure day in and day out?

4. Sprout started a gym class on Wednesdays at the Y and I have decided that there is NOTHING in the world that is cuter than a bunch of three year old boys attempting to score baskets in the adult basketball net. They were all cheering each other on as their balls went about three feet up and then landed with a thud, yet they kept trying. Not only is Sprout having a very good time, it is unparented which means I have an hour to MYSELF every Wednesday afternoon. Cue angels singing. Loudly.

5. Recently my body has decided that this whole sleeping thing is not cool anymore. I'm not exactly sure I agree with my body, but hey, I do get more blogging time in. It is currently 3:30 am. Anybody got some good tips on how to get back to sleep in the middle of the night? ANYONE? PLEASE?

6. We have a very lovely lady at our church named Carla. She is a wonderful, Godly lady whom I am enjoying getting to know as she has just joined our home group. My problem? Every.Single.Time I hear her name I think Karla Homolka instead of her proper last name. I have come within a syllable of referring to her by Homolka at church on more than one occasion. Referring to her as one of Canada's most notorious criminals may not be the best way to say "welcome to our group."

7. Maritime musicians rock. If you haven't seen this you really need to. Only in Canada would someone create a music video about the poor customer service they have received.

For more quick takes, see Jennifer at Conversion Diary.

*For those of you new here, I actually do wear hearing aids. The uber-cool behind the ear ones. So, actually having ears is not only aesthetically pleasing, it makes for better conversations with me as well.

Linky-Loos

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 10:14:00 +0000

It's been a bit busy round here.

We had a 40th anniversary to celebrate, school to start and our whole small group came for supper. To the house that I've been neglecting ALL summer. COMPLETELY neglecting. Because beaches and picnics and the zoo and road trips are waaaay more fun than cleaning.
So, I've been a lean mean cleaning machine and I've neglected you all shamefully. I'm sorry.

Please accept my apology and go read these instead of me today. They are funnier than I could ever hope to be anyway.

Kelly's husband learns what not to say to your wife. In the funniest way possible.

Amy Beth shares a story from her Math class that illustrates very clearly why teachers do NOT get paid enough. Even the ones in college.

And if you read nothing else this week, please read this GEM from Boomama. It is funny, oh so funny, but the comments will make you want to clap your hands. And snort your Coke. Maybe both at the same time. Even if you can't read all the comments, skim a couple. It is worth the time. I LOVE it when Christians can make fun of our oddities. Because there is plenty of oddity to make fun of!

Jesus loves you and I'm trying,

HG.

I'm Still Here and I'm Not Even in a Corner Sobbing

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Fri, 04 Sep 2009 10:52:00 +0000

It's been a rather busy week. A week that makes me very grateful for 7 quick takes. So here it is, the back to school version!

1. Spud's first day of Kindergarten was Tuesday. Which was also the day I posted the incredibly depressing poem about my children running into the future without me. I just kind of forgot the whole "they are still here for another 15 years or so" thing. And by here I mean my house, not that they only have 15 years to live. Because then I really would be sobbing in a corner. Sorry to subject you to all that angst. Or as much angst as a suburban housewife can muster.

2. Spud's class has fourteen students. 3 of whom are girls. Yep, eleven 5 year old boys. Let's all take a moment to say a special prayer for Mrs. D. Because if I had that ratio I'd need a few male helpers. Like Jack and Jose.

3. Three weeks ago when all the kids were out of school it was 7 degrees out. Now that everyone is back in it's 30. Sorry my American friends, I am feeling lazy and don't feel like translating that into Fahrenheit. Basically, it was jacket weather and now it is tank-top time. Gotta love the irony.

4. Spud is adjusting really well to K. He is quite excited and is a fountain of information about what happened during the day. Sprout is adjusting even better to having me to himself everyday. Mommy may not be adjusting quite as well as he feels the need to speak Every.Single.Second that Spud is in school. I may or may not have uttered the following phrase today "if you are not quiet for the next three minutes mommy is going to LOSE HER MIND." I think that bought me 18 seconds of peace, but at this point I will take what I can get.

5. A note for fellow cheap-o Calgarians, on Saturday the library is hosting a read away your fines day. For every 15 minutes you read in the library they will pardon 2 dollars of fines. So, the boys will have an extended story time on Saturday morning. Not that I ever have fines. Nope. Not at all. Never. Not me.

6. Two fellow bloggers just had or were referred new babies. You need to go see the deliciousness. Quite honestly, both deserve medals, Nicole because she birthed a 10 pound, 10 oz baby and Catherine because she has waited for 3 and a half years for this moment. Congrats to both of them.

7. I made these for supper tonight. OH MY WORD. The utter deliciousness. I used summer squash instead of zucchini and cooked the quesadillas in the pan instead of the oven but other than that stayed true to the recipe. Yummy. For those of you familiar with my husband, rest assured he was not here. He wouldn't touch these with a ten foot pole. That's more veggies than he normally eats in a month. But if you are not veggie-a-phobic, you gotta try them. GOT TO.

For more quick takes visit Jennifer at Conversion Diary!

Running Ahead

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 10:53:00 +0000

"Hey mommy, can we run?"

"Please?"

Four blue eyes upturned and pleading.

A nod.

Facesplitting grins. They are off.

Running.

Two bobbing heads, downy hair covered by floppy-brimmed sunhats.

Two sets of brown legs running ahead.

Unencumbered.

Running ahead into an adventure.

Running into a day when they will no longer ask to go, they just will.

They will go.

Whether or not I please.

Brown legs tire.

Blond heads droop.

They return.

"Can we hold your hand?"

A nod.

Please do. Please.

Good Things Come in Threes. So Does this Post. Which May Not Be a Good Thing

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 11:17:00 +0000

I am stealing yet another meme from Amy Beth because we've actually had summer this week and I am determined to enjoy every last snow-free minute of it. For those of you that think I kid, let me refer you here.

Three names I go by:

1. Mommy. Actually to be more accurate it is usually mommmmeeeee, mommmmeeee, mom, mom, hey mommmmeeee, excuse me, excuse me moooooooommmmmmmmeeeeeeee, all to be said within 3.7 seconds without taking a breath.

2. Pumpkin. 34 years old and this is still my dad's most common nickname for me. I wouldn't have it any other way.

3. Mrs. R. That's probably the thing I miss most about teaching. I liked being Mrs. R. It made me seem cool. Or at least as cool as a 23 year old in a jumper is going to get.

(What? You thought I was going to tell you my real name? Nice try.)

Three jobs I've had in my life

1. Receptionist at an airport. NOTE. If your house is less than four minutes from the airport, you are going to hear airplanes. Deal with it. PLEASE DO NOT CALL the nice student receptionist who is making seven dollars an hour and yell at her about it. She cannot change the flightpath for you, she can't even change her screensaver without permission.

2. Teacher. No, I do not plan on doing that ever again thankyouverymuch.

3. Accounts Receivable Clerk. Yes, it is as boring as it sounds.

Three places I've lived

1. Student housing at SWBTS. As part of our lease we were not allowed portable dishwashers, R rated movies and alcohol. But at $ 340/ month for a two bedroom furnished suite I would have walked backwards around campus singing showtunes while balancing a cat on my head if they asked.

2. A basement suite that was so small we couldn't fit a table and we had to walk through the kitchen to get to the bathroom but our landlords were amazing so we DID NOT CARE.

3. A 35 year old Nelson Package home. It let out more heat than it kept in and I think the previous owners were attempting to win the world's worst sponge painting superbowl. It was our very first house and the place we brought Spud home to so as far as I'm concerned, it was perfect.

Three favorite drinks

1. Sweet Tea

2. Chai Tea Lattes

3. London Fog

So, basically I like tea with LOTS of sugar.

Three of my favorite foods (it is killing me to only pick three.)

1. Steak

2. Cashew Chicken in Yellow Bean Sauce

3. Shrimp

Three things I'm decent at

1. Writing

2. Momming.

3. Baking

Three things I'm addicted to

1. You're reading it

2. Star Trek Voyager (it's a sickness really)

3. Dark Chocolate

That's it, He Can't Go

noreply@blogger.com (happygeek) — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 10:57:00 +0000

Spud starts school next Tuesday. I DID NOT think I woud be as emotional about this as I am. I thought it wouldl just be a celebration ofo the big boy he's become. But this past week I've turned into a weepy mess whenever I think about that baby being gone every day.

Then the following conversation occured today after a big tickle fest.

HG: I love you buddy. I'm sure gonna miss you when you go to school.

Spud: Oh, don't worry mommy, I will always come back to you.

I may stop crying sometime in October.