Removing the inner obstacles to the very possibility of happiness

Choosing new core beliefs

(To read this series from the beginning, click here.)

My book, The Happy Mind, identifies those core beliefs in our culture that give rise to the kind of thinking that blocks our experience of our inner truth of happiness.

But you can’t just get rid of core beliefs without replacing them. As long as you think at all, you necessarily have some core beliefs. So The Happy Mind offers a simple set of alternative core beliefs—the seven principles—that give rise to allowing-kinds of thoughts, that can open your mind to an experience of inner self-awareness.

These beliefs aren’t the cause of your happiness—they don’t “make” you happy. The source of your happiness is your own inner truth. But these kinds of thoughts allow you to experience the happiness that is already and always your own natural state of being.

Nor do these beliefs pretend to be some kind of “ultimate truth.” These are simply possible belief choices. It’s important to realize that you always have some core beliefs. You have no choice about having core beliefs. But you do have a choice about which core beliefs.

You know what kinds of core beliefs you have by how you feel. If you are not perfectly happy all of the, then you have some core beliefs that are blocking your inner happiness, blocking your deeper self-awareness.

Necessary to change your core beliefs

If you do not change those core beliefs, then all the affirmations and visualizations in the world, all the accomplishments and possessions, and all of the fame and money and power won’t deliver lasting and consistent happiness. Because your mind will keep sabotaging your happiness behind your back, as long as you hold core beliefs that are inconsistent with the very possibility of happiness or peace or unconditional love. Changing your core beliefs does not guarantee that you will experience joy, but it does make it possible.

“The first page of the book A Course in Miracles says, ‘The course does not aim at teaching the meaning of love, for that is beyond what can be taught. It does aim, however, at removing the blocks to the awareness of love’s presence, which is your natural inheritance.’ Similarly, we could say that the way to happiness is the undoing of your blocks to your awareness of source, to your awareness of your own true nature. Being  happy is a matter of choosing the thoughts and the beliefs and the  focus of attention that most fully allow your mind to express the nature of source in and as your own life experience.” (The Happy Mind, chapter 3, p. 60)

Only you can stop setting the fires of unhappiness in your own mind

Question 4: How can we avoid becoming unhappy?

Not setting fires in the first place

(To read this series from the beginning, click here.)

Knowing how to undo the particular thought that is making me unhappy now is like having a good fire extinguisher for emergencies.

But in addition to having good fire extinguishers in our house, we would also like have some way to avoid setting fires in the first place. To somehow proactively avoid thinking those kinds of thoughts that make us unhappy. That is what my book, The Happy Mind, is about.

For years, it has been clear to me that the cause of every particular experience of unhappiness was some particular thought that was blocking my inner happiness. And I learned and practiced the techniques for discovering and changing those thoughts.

Two kinds of core beliefs

But I kept asking myself, “What is the root cause of all of my restrictive kinds of thoughts?”

I discovered that all of the thoughts that we think are based on just a few underlying fundamental core beliefs. There are some kinds of core beliefs that give rise to thoughts that allow self-awareness and inner happiness. And there are other kinds of core beliefs that give rise to thoughts that blocking and restricting our experience of peace and joy and love.

Inheriting our core beliefs without question

Now usually we are not even aware of our core beliefs. We never really “chose” to believe those beliefs.  We just inherit them from our culture. And since everyone else believes them and takes them for granted, we don’t consider them to be “beliefs” at all—it’s simply “the way things are.”

It turns out that the core beliefs shared by our whole culture—and virtually every culture in recorded history—give rise to blocking kinds of thoughts. These core beliefs give rise to kinds of thoughts that add elements of conflict and fear to the very fabric of our awareness. This infects and colors every experience we can possible have.

Sort of happy some of the time

Since these are the core beliefs that we inherit without question, we all start off thinking restrictive thoughts, at least to some extent. And these thoughts give rise to the experience of an ever-shifting mixture of happiness and unhappiness—what we earlier called, being only sort of happy some of the time.

We tell ourselves “You have to take the bad with the good. That’s simply the way life is.”  We believe that perfect happiness, constant and lasting happiness, is merely a pipe dream.

But that’s not how life is or has to be. It’s simply how we experience life through the filter of those restrictive, blocking kinds of beliefs. (To be continued …)

When you realize how perfect everything is you will tilt your head back and laugh at the sky. - Buddha

Question3: What can we do when we are unhappy?

(To read this series from the beginning, click here.)  If the cause of unhappiness is that we are thinking certain kinds of thoughts that are blocking the expression of our natural inner joy, how can we shift back to joy (and peace and love)?

Stopping our thoughts

One solution might be to simply stop thinking altogether. This is the value of such practices as meditation, chanting, Tai Chi, etc. Teachers like Eckhart Tolle tell us to disengage for our constant chatter of thoughts, and to dis-identify with the thinker of our thoughts.

And indeed when we do this, we experience inner peace. We find that our inner truth expresses itself as deep peace and joy and love.

That state of inner peace and joy is a place in your mind, and not determined by outer events. It is always available, if only we can quit covering it over with our resistive and restrictive thoughts.

Some practice of quieting the mind and finding that place of inner peace is absolutely important to our journey of awakening and perhaps even necessary.

Changing our thoughts

But as important as the practice of quieting the mind is, we are thinking beings. That seems to be part of our nature.

Once we leave the meditation hall, we tend to once again resume thinking. It’s very difficult or even impossible to relate to the world and others without some amount of thinking.

And when we have a lifetime of thinking kinds of thoughts that restrict our happiness, we will probably tend to lapse back into our old habits of thought.

So, in addition to our meditation and mindfulness practices, we would also like to change what thoughts we think. We want to identify and remove thsee thoughts that block our inner awareness and happiness.

Changing the particular thought that is making you unhappy now

A lot of books have been written about how to find and release the underlying thoughts and beliefs that are making you unhappy in any given moment.

Happiness is an Option by Barry Neil Kaufman (founder of the Option Institute) offers a simple and very effective dialogue process to discover and change the underlying thoughts that are making you unhappy in your current situation.

Loving What Is by Byron Katie teaches that the cause of unhappiness is always thinking a thought that is somehow opposed to what-is. Byron offers a simple four-question method, called The Work, to help you discover and undo the thought that is making you unhappy.

These kinds of approaches are extremely helpful, and they work. Moreover, these kinds of practices are necessary for anyone looking for a happier life experience. Having these practices and techniques at your disposal is like having good fire extinguishers in your house. Whenever there is a fire, you’ve got what you need to put it out. (To be continued …)