The Hard Road

new blog

2015-03-21T19:20:00.001-05:00

If anyone stills follows this blog... well I am flattered and astounded. Secondly, I have a new one now. Simplysherayah.blogspot.com

Check it out!

Frustration

2014-08-13T03:22:00.001-05:00

Always the great friend
just like a sister to him
Great conversations
humor and fun
Understanding one another's
problems
except for one
you don't know
the pain you cause
I never tell you
that my heart aches

We get each other
but you always seem to
like another
You don't even consider
a friendship that has
held us together

We were there for each other
when things were grim
through many years
we got each other through
many problems
I would like to think
our bond would mean something
more than a friend
something deeper
but no
you seek fairer than the one
closest to you

It never does mean more
not to you
You are not the first
probably not the last
of a long line of
friends that don't last

Rape Culture- Clothing- a call for modesty and respect.

2014-06-22T18:02:00.003-05:00

I see many things going around the internet about rape culture in regards to how women dress. A lot of what I am seeing is making me angry. However, before I begin let me make a couple things clear:

1. Rape is wrong and awful no matter what.
2. It shouldn't happen regardless of what a women is wearing
3. I do think that clothing does play a part in it though.

Like I noted raper is an awful, terrible crime that I wish did not happen, but it does. A lot of recent internet stuff has shown pictures of females wearing clothes that bare about 90% of her skin, these pictures come with stories about how these women should be empowered, able to wear what they want, and not be a victim of rape. Great, this sounds idealistic, but we can't be completely fooling ourselves can we? I mean I know that a woman can be raped regardless of what she wears, but isn't showing so much of your body just an invitation if not for a physical act of harm than for mental ones? I have talked to guys about this subject and even if they wouldn't dream of physically harming a woman, if they are honest they will tell you that it is hard to have a conversation with a scantily clad woman versus a woman that values her body by covering it up. For that matter the same goes for men. Rape is not something that happens as often to them (at least if it is then it is not reported), but they should also have respect for their bodies. It is hard for me to concentrate when talking to a man when his underwear is showing or his shirt is too tight.

I am making a case for modesty here, but I am not asking women to wear Victorian dresses or men to walk around in three piece suits (although that could be cool). I am just saying lets all have some respect for our bodies and each other. Lets dress in a way that says we are to be respected in every aspect of our lives, and lets do just that to other people. I know this won't completely stop these crimes, but it also won't hurt anything.

Or am I crazy and idealistic for thinking this way?

2014-05-22T01:10:00.002-05:00

Oh insomnia
why must you
keep me awake
with unwanted waves
of emotions
and many thoughts

I don't want you,
but you refuse to leave
endless chattering all night
that won't stop.
Let me rest
please.

Sleep,
I miss you
come back?

Currently...

2014-01-26T17:06:00.000-06:00

Food: The last food I had was a gross cheeseburger from mcdonalds

Drink: Been drinking Gatorade and water since Friday

Top: Soft black and purple striped tshirt from gap

Bottoms: Blue pajama pants with white and yellow flowers

Watching: I watched Frozen for the first time last night it was cute!

Listening to: The cat in my lap purring

Feeling: Like I am getting over the flu...mostly because I am. Also a little restless.

Broken Hearted

2014-01-05T01:15:00.001-06:00

A church, a fellowship of believers... God has a plan for how it should work. The bible tells us very clearly how people of God should act and let me tell you lately it breaks my heart to see my church doing the exact opposite and dissolving before my very eyes.

I don't know how to describe all of the problems and as a single woman without a father in the church, I am not privy to much information to begin with. What I do see and know are that of gossip, slander, hate, and division to name a few. It began with our pastor leaving because he could not take it anymore and went downhill from there.

Sundays went from one of my favorite days to a day where I don't know where I belong.

I haven't been going to church. I don't know where to go. I don't feel like I can go there and I don't really want to go anywhere else. It's hard to start over after so many years...and if it's hard just for me I cannot imagine what the pastors family feels like.

My heart aches.

I know this fellowship of believers behavior is not pleasing to the Lord.

I cannot be the only person who sees this and feels this way...can I?

New Years Day 2014 Q&A

2014-01-02T01:16:00.002-06:00

What did you wear? For the first half of the day I wore Jeans, a Horton Haven Christian Camp T Shirt, and converse. The second half of the day I had to go to work so I wore jeans, a butterfly print blouse, and boots.

What was on your mind today? I always get reflective and sentimental around new years...so mostly friends and family.

What is your dream for 2014? Well I don't know about dreams, but I have a couple goals. The first is to read 24 books and fill an empty bookshelf with them this year ( upcoming blog about that hopefully). The second is to hopefully transfer to a really nice christian university. The third is to blog and journal more. The fourth is to grow more in the Lord. The final one is to be a healthier me.

What did you eat on New Years Eve/Day? Um, too much food? lol. So New years eve I had Hibachi, Turtle cheesecake, and fruit. New years day I had mexican food, beans, and cornbread.

Is there anything bugging you? A relationship status. That's all I am saying for now.

Are you excited about anything this year? I am excited for this new year in general!! I hope for a better one than last year.

I want to do another Q&A. So if you have any questions you would like me to answer leave a comment below.

Dear Blog,

2013-12-18T23:41:00.001-06:00

It's been a long time. It is time to blow the dust off this old blog and revive it with some fresh thought and insight.

I have been going through a lot of life changes recently. I just finished the hardest semester of my life, I am about to earn an associates degree, I have made a lot of new friends, and most of these new friends come from The Salvation Army church.

The Salvation Army Church is what I kind of what to blog about today. Not really the church itself and their beliefs and whatnot, but I want to share with you the message this last Sunday. Let me preface it with this. It has been a LONG TIME since I have really remembered a sermon, taken it to heart, and really applied to my everyday life.

So what was the message?

The message was illustrated with a snowglobe. A snowglobe a little world incapusulated in a glass globe filled with water and glitter. This globe she said represented each of us and our own little worlds we live in. The glitter that comes up when shaking it represents stirring emotions such as frustration, anxiety, anger, etc. These emotions generally happen because either myself or someone other than God is holding my precious snow globe life. I am letting them or myself shake things up instead of taking my world and putting in the hands of the one who created it.

This illustration was and is so powerful in my life. I find myself stopping myself throughout this week already and saying "who is shaking up my snow globe?" I find that if nothing else it has made me more aware. Trust is something I am working on, but unfortunately I am a slow work in progress.

The other thing that was beautiful is that when I went and talked to Rachel after church she told me that she had gotten a word from the spirit about me during the message. She shared that with me and prayed over me.

Guys, I am telling you it has been a lonnnggg time. Way too long actually since I have really felt alive in the Lord and Sunday was for the first time in a LONG time refreshing.

So I am just praising God for what he is doing in my life right now. I know He has big plans for me and I can't wait for Him to reveal them to me in His timing :)

Life updates...

2013-08-04T00:36:00.000-05:00

I work best in formats like my "Currently Enjoying..." posts...So I think I will start doing more blogs like that in different series.

So here is what my life looks like currently broken down into different categories...

Relationships So honestly I was pretty lonely in July. All my friends were out of town busy in summer classes. Some of them were even out of the country IN summer classes. Friday, however, I got to spend time with my lovely, dear, and bestest friend Naomi. That is always a joy. We went shopping, I took her on a surprise picnic (we have been talking about going on a picnic for a long time) and ate our favorite thing (Salad and fruit [yep we are weird!] ) . Then I rode with her to Nashville to pick up her laptop and so we had ample time to catch up, talk about God, and encourage each other. It was such a blessing!

School It starts back the 26th of this month. As it stands right now I am sort of ready in a way to go back. I do love school...but I am also bracing myself for a tough semester.Biology, Stats, Psych of adjustment, public speaking, and honors lecture series are all on my plate. A really not so fun 14 credit hours. Yay. Also I am still president of the Honors Preservation Society...AND I am still going to be working in school. However, I am happy to announce that this is my last year at Vol state and because of my hard work I have earned the Hal R. Ramer Honors Scholarship. Which paired with my other scholarships is a full ride. God is so good and I couldn't be more blessed!

Work This is an interesting topic...While I do not want to reveal anything on a public format. Lets just say I am doing well at my current job. I am a top performer. I have had problems this week with someone at my work and those were resolved...And I could be looking at making a change...

Fun I have found that I love dancing. I have been going to the free dancing at centennial park whenever my schedule allows and it has been a blast. So far I have only gotten to go twice but it is so fun!

Spiritual I think that my relationship category covered this one mostly this time. But I can say that I really am learning a lot lately about how I am perceived and God is really working on some pride issues in my life.

Misc. Blogging and journaling is such a release for me. I will be aiming to do it more often!

Currently enjoying...

2013-07-08T23:00:00.001-05:00

TV: Doc Martin is not too bad. It kind of reminds me of a British version of house. I am not completely in love with it but it's worth mentioning.

Books: Grrr I need to read more but I have been busy. which is also why I have seemed to drop off the blogging radar too. oops

Food: Lately I have been eating a lot of mexican food. mmmmmm yummy.

Products: So my nerdy self started back to school shopping cause I can't resist. I found these adorable binders and pencil boxes. So happy with them and for just about $5 for all of it too!

Book Review- As silver refined

2013-06-04T17:48:00.001-05:00

This is a great book for anyone going through trials. It's interactive and gets you digging deeper into the word of God. It's been a while since I read it but I still remember the principles and would recommend anything that Kay writes!

I was given this book free in exchange for this review from Blogging for Books

Lessons from the Lord: Trials

2013-05-23T11:50:00.000-05:00

^{Dear Friends...near the beginning of the year I suffered great sorrow, trial, disappointment, and brokenness...From it God is still healing me and my family. God is so good. He truly is the great physician and the only one capable of mending hearts and souls. He is the only one who can bring so much hope, peace, and joy despite all circumstances.This passage helped me a great deal during this time and I pray it blesses you just as much.}

³Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, ⁴and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, ⁵who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. ⁶In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. ⁸Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, ⁹for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. ~1 Peter

Currently Enjoying...

2013-05-20T21:02:00.002-05:00

So I really have liked this idea from Kelli at She Learns As She Goes Blog where she writes about what she is "Currently Digging"...So I am going to be a copy cat and do a few of those this summer... This will be my first :)

So I am currently enjoying...

Getting to check some stuff off my leisure reading list!
So far I have read Gardenias For Breakfast by Robin J. Gunn, Quitter by Jon Acuff, and I am halfway through The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien.

My Candle from Country Music Candles.
OK so I got this a couple months ago but I love it! My friend Jesse Walker makes the best candles...Cedar chest is the one I have and it smells so nice. Check it out!
http://www.countrymusiccandles.com/

This quote from the end of The Great Gatsby:

but that's no matter--tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther.... And one fine morning-- So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."

That is all for today. What are you currently enjoying?

It's summer and I am back!

2013-05-20T12:01:00.000-05:00

Summer is finally here. I am finally able to be a bookworm in the books I enjoy. I am able to enjoy more movies, meals, and coffee with lovely friends and I am able to blog. It's such a relief. I can't wait to dive back to blogging. I think blogging with help build my writing muscles with this past semester I had found grew weak over my last break.

So here goes...don't know what will get written or if it will be good. Don't even know who, if anyone will read it, but I will be here. I am going to commit to at least once or twice weekly. So stayed tuned, hold on, and let's go.

Grace, peace, forgiveness

2013-02-22T22:08:00.001-06:00

This week through various experiences I have realized just what a work Christ has done in my life. I watch a lot of the non-christians around me and I am sometimes astounded by their actions. I realize that they have a lot of trouble forgiving, giving grace, and having peace. My heart hurts when I see this because I have the strength to forgive, give grace, and have peace through Christ and I want them to have it too....

I am probably not articulating this as well as I want to and I definitely am trying to figure it out myself still...but I just am amazed and thankful that God allows me to have this assurance and peace. It sets me apart for the Lord and people notice! Praise God!

Updates: my crazy life.

2013-02-09T08:36:00.000-06:00

Lets see, where do I start? I will start at the beginning of this semester. A quick snapshot before I lead into the big stuff.

I just began a new semester a couple weeks ago. So far it going alright. I am taking 15 credit hours and 9 of those are honors credits.
I am still working 2 part time jobs.

I am about to become Vice President of the Honors Preservation Society.

On Tuesday my family has some major issues....I was about to have a broken family....however, by God's grace its been saved at least for now... and now I don't even know where I was going with this because I am tired and have a cold...but anyway...there is your update.haha

Updates and stuff

2013-01-10T11:56:00.000-06:00

Well I am back at least to give you guys an update about life and what I am learning....which I am not sure if anyone who follows my blog likes these kinds of posts...actually I don't know that anyone reads them....anyway, this past semester was a wonderful, difficult, hard semester all at the same time.

It was stressful. I felt more pressure to succeed than I had the previous two semesters. I have a job now and so that was a new factor that affected my school work. My GPA lowered a little...and I struggled. However, I met new people, I got more involved in my school and activities. I also really tried and fought for the grades I got. I learned a good deal about time management, leadership, and friendship.

2012 and all that went with it including school was a roller coaster ride. I am glad we are in the new year! I hope its a sort of fresh beginning. Although I have to say I am nervous and scared for some things that will come. I know I shouldn't be and I am in the process of giving them to the Lord.. I am anxious for myh friends and all of their big events coming up. I am anxious for the upcoming 15 credit hour semester, with 9 of those hours being honors, and having the same part time job.I know life is still going to be crazy but one of my new years resolutions is to be trusting God more.

Anyway, what are your resolutions?

2012-11-20T00:07:00.001-06:00

I think its amazing you can love someone so much that your heart breaks while simultaneously being happy for them...Sounds cheesy I know but oh so true...

Yeah that is it...Just need somewhere to say that...

College: Its what you make of it.

2012-11-09T19:04:00.000-06:00

I am currently a college student enrolled in a community college and for the first year of my college career I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could. I was slightly miserable and it wasn't because I don't like school. I love school! Why was I miserable you might ask? Well, there were three reasons, first I didn't know all of the resources I had at my fingertips. Second, I was a little ashamed of being at a community college and finally, I was not involved.

This year is different and I am here to encourage all of you, students. Whether you are in highschool looking forward to college, in junior college like me, or at a four year institute, or above. I think this information and encouragement will apply to you.

Do you know what resources your school has? Maybe you know a couple like I did to begin with? Or maybe you are scared to ask for help? Well, if you answered yes to any of these questions I have an assignment for you. Go to your advising office, ask around, and figure out everything that you as a student have available to you for homework help and general support because guess what? YOU ARE PAYING FOR IT! So you may as well go to the language lab if you need help with that five page essay, or the math lab for that horrible algebra equation you just can't get, or Supplemental instruction for a difficult class and so on. You will get better grades and learn so much more.

Also, please don't be ashamed of your school. Community college has a stigma...some of that stigma is true. There are people that don't care. There are people who come to class once a month if that. However, there are also some wonderful people. People who want to learn, people of all ages and all walks of life. Honors programs are not for the pretentious or snooty. Clubs are not stupid.

Get involved! Don't be afraid to join a club or two. Don't get overwhelmed and let it affect your grades but clubs are fun. Clubs provide opportunities for volunteering and friendships. They make college life more fun and give you some real life leadership position roles. Student government provides very good problem solving skills and a real level of control of where you are. Don't be the student that just goes to class and goes home. Get involved and have some school spirit! You most likely won't regret joining a club or SGA later on, but you might regret not doing anything.

So there you have it. Encouragement to go out get involved with your school, make the best of where you are and use those resources you pay for!

20 books I am glad I read before I turned 21

2012-10-10T19:49:00.002-05:00

Before I start the list I have to say that this was not a completely original idea I saw something like it on another blog and I wanted to do one. :) Also I haven't turned 21 yet but I will next month so I think the title applies...

1. Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris
     This book had a huge impact on my life as a teenager and I still live by those principles today! A must read for anyone.

2. Praying for Your Future Husband: Preparing Your Heart for His by Robin J. Gunn and Tricia Goyer
     I loved this book I felt it didn't focus as much on the future husband as it did your relationship with the Lord while waiting.

3. Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey
It is never too early to learn how to handle your finances and stay debt free!

4. Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot
   A lot of people call it old fashioned but I loved this book. I learned so much from it and it is very biblically sound. Plus I loved reading Elizabeth and Jim's sweet, pure, God written love story!

5. Christy by Catherine Marshall
   Its based off and true story and well just really really good. I couldn't put it down!

6. Girls Gone Wise in a World Gone Wild by Mary Kassian
   The name and cover of this book look honestly like a cheesy teen christian girl book BUT ITS NOT! It examines the proverbs women very in depth and brings a lot of issues and truths to light. It really does teach you to live as a biblical woman!

7. Becoming God's True Woman by Nancy Leigh Demoss and others
   I went to a True Woman conference that was amazing and this is like having that conference in a small book! Its very similar to the book above but with some slightly different perspective.

8. As Silver Refined by Kay Arthur
Wonderful book about trials and how God is there for you, His beloved child.

9.   Sherlock Holmes (all of them) by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Greatest detective of all time. Worth the read.

10. The Christy Miller series, Sierria Jensen series, and Katie Weldon series by Robin J. Gunn
Maybe its cheating lumping three series here at number ten but seriously I can't not mention these books. I grew up with the characters and I learned so much about faith, relationships, and making the right decisions with them. I feel like these girls have been my best friends since I was fourteen. ( I know I am weird! haha)

11. The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel
   Another faith strengthener.

12. With Daring Faith the biography of Amy Carmicheal
All I can say is that God does some amazing things through some amazing people.

14. Summer at Tiffany by Marjorie Jacobson
I just read this one and while it has no real spiritual depth or anything I enjoyed it a lot.

15. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
   I shouldn't even have to explain this. haha

16. The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
   A good take on how Satan works in our everyday lives.

17. The Elsie Dinsmore Series
   Sweet books about a young girl who loves the Lord. Not completely true to life fiction but an excellent role model.

18. Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carol
I shouldn't have to explain this either. Such a fun book!

19. Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
Sorry if this offends some people but judging by my other books you should gather I am not a witch. I do however love the magical books that are Harry Potter!

20. The Bible the Inspired Word of God
   Last but certainly the best and greatest!!!!

10 things I wish I could say...

2012-10-06T20:58:00.001-05:00

The thing that drives me to most crazy at work is customers and that is what my work is all about...generally we have really, good, respectful gals that come through the store....but with those great people come the few horrible customers as well...

So here is the top ten things I wish customers knew

10. I don't control the sales...I can't help it if you don't think its a good sale. Corporate sends us a list of what goes on sale and I just put out the signs for that sale....Also don't ask me to tell you what day we do price changes or change our sales. I am not allowed to tell you.

9. I am more than happy to help you and when I ask you if you need help I am not trying to be annoying or pushy so you don't have to be rude.

8. I can't help it if you are denied for the store credit card when you sign up. I don't control your credit score.

7. I think your kid is adorable....until they throw crackers on the floor, scream the whole time, crawl under wardrobers, and make messes in general. At that point I wish you would just control your kids or leave. Sorry.

6. Trying on stuff is encouraged...making a mess of the fitting rooms while doing so is not...So please its not hard. Put your clothes back on the hanger and bring them two steps outside your room to the rack for go backs...I promise it doesn't take long. Also, we appreciate it if you wouldn't leave them on the floor either.

5. If you have a store credit card and wanna use it...PLEASE bring it in the store with you. Looking up your account is possible but time consuming and you are generally not patient.

4. Don't cut in line because you are in a hurry. Nobody likes that.

3. If you are trying to match an item that you don't have with you...don't expect me to be too helpful because as much as you describe it I can not see it and really know what to pull for you. I can try but don't get too frustrated with me.

2. Don't get mad at me when I ask you if you want to buy a discount card for a charity that you don't believe in...I might not even believe in everything they do but its my job. Just say no and don't scream at me about how Susan G Komen is evil because they have a tie with Planned Parenthood. I know they are affiliated. I don't like it either.

1. Don't tell me what to do when you get frustrated with me because the transaction is not going the way that you thought it should...most likely I can't help it.

Its not easy...but it is worth it. A reminder to myself.

2012-09-27T23:19:00.000-05:00

Its not easy. Its really not easy to walk into a classroom and feel like the odd one out. Its not easy to hear people talk down about "religion" and praise authors who cute christianity down. Its not easy to hear your professor say "I am not a religious person, I am not a christian, but this story of grace touches me anyway...there are many roads to God." Its painful to hear that so many have this belief and are headed to destruction...

Its hard when christianity is brought up in your group and you have to say "Well guys actually I am a Christian" and then endure stares and awkwardness..

All of this has been weighing on my mind...Sure its stinks but you know what? It is worth it. You know why? These present sufferings can't even be compared to the glory to come and this should be consider pure joy!

Hopefully I can touch a few people this semester with the love of God as well. That is my prayer at least....

Have you gone through any struggles because of your faith in the Lord recently?

Top five reasons TO GO to Volstate.

2012-09-22T10:30:00.000-05:00

To be fair I can't post a top five reasons not to go without posting anything positive...So here you go. Top five reasons you might want to go to Vol-State.

5. There are some really great professors there. While there are a few which are not so great that does not define all of them. I have had some really great professors who really challenged me and made me a better student.

4. There are some people there who really care. Most namely the Vol-State Honors Program. We are pretty awesome if I do say so myself and I really enjoy being with a group of students who care as much as I do and whom I can have fun with as well.

3. While the the online experience is often frustrating...Some of the classroom experiences are great. Especially if they are discussion oriented!

2. The campus for the most part is well maintained and clean. The landscaping is nice. Its not a gorgeous or breathtaking campus but its not terribly unpleasant aside from the smoking. :)

1. Its cheaper to go there than to a four year school!

So there you go.

By the way I was not paid to write these posts it was just for fun. I am a student with volstate but I am not in anyway affiliated with their PR.

Confessions of a sales associate?

2012-09-22T10:08:00.001-05:00

     I have often thought of doing confession blog posts in a comical way about work and entitling them "Confessions of a clothing store sales associate" or something to that affect. But the more I think about it the more I ask myself...Is that God honoring? Is that going to be disrespectful? I am not sure...So if you read this blog let me know what you think.

     Would this type of blog post be dishonoring to God? Disrespectful? I am not planning to bash anyone...just kind of note some of the funny and frustrating situations that happen. But maybe I shouldn't chance it?

Top five reasons NOT TO GO to Volstate

2012-09-21T10:30:00.000-05:00

If you are considering a college in middle TN here are the top five reasons not to go to Volstate:

5. There are a few really bad professors there.

4.There are a lot of people there who just don't care to learn.

3. The Myvolstate portal is always down making checking email and any online components of your class impossible!

2. All the construction on campus is a pain. They are working on sidewalks, the library, and about to permanently close a large parking lot.

1. Smoking on campus. I hate walking through a cloud of smoke to get from building to building. It makes me cough and my eyes water.