The Haterade Shower

4 Years Later: Was "The Decision" Lebron Made Really That Bad?

2014-07-07T14:15:00.002-04:00

"It's fascinating to me that we crush LeBron James for doing that television show 4 years ago but clearly we want that television show. We're doing that television show without his help. Without his information. LeBron and his people aren't saying ANYTHING and we're creating everything around him. We're using his silence to create the soap opera that everybody wants" -Dan Le Batard

Time often gives us perspective on things. So, 4 years later, can we now look back at The Decision and admit that we overreacted?
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WARNING: Jabari, Wiggins, Exum or Embiid or I am Quitting the Orlando Magic!

2014-06-26T19:27:00.000-04:00

"If I have a pair of balls, I take (Embiid) no. 1. He has legitimate size. Great hands and feet. He will block shots immediately. He doesn’t understand positioning yet, but he is further along offensively than Olajuwon was at the same stage, and he’s bigger than Hakeem. He has the best upside pick of anyone in the draft." -NBA Scout

The Orlando Magic Would Take Jabari Parker With The #1 Pick

2014-06-25T16:39:00.000-04:00

(Associated Press)

ESPN's Andy Katz reported Wednesday that if the Magic make a trade with Cleveland for the number 1 overall pick in Thursday's NBA Draft, they would be doing so to take Duke SF/PF Jabari Parker.

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Orlando Magic Draft Watch: 3 Games To Go!

2014-04-12T06:51:00.002-04:00

After gift wrapping the 3rd spot in the NBA Draft Lottery for the Celtics on Wednesday night, the Orlando are once again slotted to have the 3rd most ping pong balls in this year's Mega Draft!

The Associated Press

The Magic started the day tied with Boston at 23-55 on the season. The Celtics having already locked up the tiebreaker between the two.

Despite giving up 32 and 10 to "Big Al" Jefferson, the Rondo-less Celtics couldn't find a way to get their 11th straight loss on Friday night in Boston. Big games from Bradley, Sullinger, Green and Bass earned the C's a win that had fans yelling at their televisions all over Beantown.

Why?

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Draft Lottery: Orlando Magic

2013-05-21T18:01:00.002-04:00

Tonight's the night, Magic fans! This is what we played for all season. The NBA Draft lottery!

Considering how badly they dropped the ball on the Dwight Howard trade, the Magic actually had about the best year they could have hoped for. They had some young players show promising talent—Tobias Harris and Andrew Nicholson. Played well, at times. And still found a way to finish with the leagues worst record—which we all know is the only way to significantly improve your team (unless your stadium is in LA or Miami). The bad thing for the Magic? By all accounts, this is a star-lacking draft. Even worse? Next year is supposed to be the best draft since 2003 when LeBron, Melo, Bosh and Wade rounded out the top 5.¹

Since you can't draft a player that's still in college like the Celtics did with Larry Bird, the Magic might end up being a year off like they were in 2003 (1st pick in 2004).

Unless...

The Magic are lucky enough to fall into the perfect storm. Nerleans Noel is the consensus #1 overall pick despite coming off a late season ACL tear. So lets say the Magic land Noel with a top 3 pick this year. He's not gong to be ready for game 1 next season, and if he's smart, he'll pull a Derrick Rose and take the whole year off (maybe let him play the last 10-20 games if he's 100%)
What better way to start a season of tanking for a draft pick? And hey, Turk and Jameer's contracts come off the books next summer too! It's conceivable that the Magic could grab Noel, get Jabari Parker or Andrew Wiggins and land a decent free agent with that cap room.

That would be the perfect storm....but Orlando has been in a drought lately.

1 And Darko. Good call Dumars!

Hopping on the F#*k Lane Kiffin Bandwagon

2012-11-09T09:23:00.000-05:00

Throughout his Head Coaching career, I've always given Lane Kiffin the benefit of the doubt.

When all of Gator Nation was in an uproar because Kiffin said, "I look forward to singing Rocky Top all night long after beating Florida next year" in his first press conference at UT, I defended Kiffin. That's one of Tennessee's biggest rivals. It's not offensive to say that one of your goals is to beat your rival--who was also the SEC's top dog at the time. Florida fans were just being over sensitive on that one. You want that kind of competitive spirit from your Coach.

When Kiffin left UT before the end of his second season for USC, I defended him again. If given the option of making millions working in Knoxville or making millions working in LA, how many people out there are really choosing Tennessee?

When Kiffin called out Urban Meyer for reported recruiting violations, I defended him again. That’s just part of the game. Anything to win.

This year, though, Lane's shenanigans have really left a sour taste in my mouth.

First, it was the dismissive way he walked off in the middle of an interview with USC student reporters. A straight dick move. Those are just kids, man. You can't expect them to be seasoned journalists and they didn't even ask him anything that was out of bounds or anything. He was just being a jerk for no reason.

Then, there was the cheap, tacky move of switching his back up QB's jersey with the punter’s to get an edge on running a trick play on an extra point attempt.

Football players are covered from head to toe in protective gear. You can't recognize an opposing player by their appearance as easily as you can in a sport like basketball. Even more so since basketball teams carry 12 man rosters compared to 53 in football.

That would be a cheesy move during a marquee matchup. But Kiffin didn't instruct his players to run the slight of hand against Oregon or Texas or even cross town rival UCLA. No, he had them pull the wool over the eyes of Colorado, one of the worst FBS schools in the country.

His latest antic was throwing his team's equipment manager under the bus after instructing him to deflate footballs during their game vs Oregon last Saturday--making them easier to throw, catch and run with. I feel complete comfortable making that accusation. There's not a chance in hell that the equipment manager was acting on his own, as Kiffin told the media after dismissing him from the team. College Football and basketball coaches, especially the big programs, are dictators whose power and control rival that of Kim Jong Ill's. Nothing happens without their knowledge.

It doesn't really bother me that he threw the student manager under the bus. Buddy took one for the team, fell on the USC Trojan sword so to speak. And I'm sure someone at USC hooked him up with a nice little severance package for leaving peacefully and keeping his mouth shut.

It's the fact that Lane Kiffin would stoop to these tactics to win an "armature" football game.¹

It was the straw that broke the camel's back for me on the growing list of Kiffin’s shenanigans. Guy's like Les Miles--who Boami Jones calls "Coach Fuck It"--is known for the fake punts and field goals, going for it on fourth down, and other risky play calls that most coaches would never have the balls to call. Those are trick plays, though. Risk plays, not these shady swindler moves that Lane keeps pulling.

What's next for this guy? Giving his defensive linemen powdered glass to blow in the offensive lines eyes before the snap? Calling in bomb threats to the opposing team's hotel room in the middle of the night to prevent them from sleeping? Tear gas in the visiting locker room at halftime?

As over the top as all those examples are, none would shock me if Kiffin did them. In fact, at this point, I would be more shocked if he didn’t pull one those moves over the next 14 months.

The most tragic part of it all is that he's dragging his father's name through the mud with. Monty Kiffin was a legendary Defensive Coordinator in the NFL. He, along with Tony Dungy, created the "Tampa 2" scheme that was the defensive antidote to Bill Walsh's West Coast offense.

Monty passed up several NFL head coaching offers before taking a pretty significant step back by agreeing to be the Defensive Coordinator at Tennessee, and then USC, to fulfill a dream of coaching alongside his son.

It's one thing to ruin your own name, but tarnishing your father's legacy while doing it, that's just indefensible.

I was the voice of reason for you, Lane. I was the guy taking emotion out of it, looking at things objectively, defending you against the masses. But you lost me, Lane. You forced me to jump on the Lane Kiffin bash-wagon where we tour the country chanting "Fuck Lane Kiffin! (clap, clap, clap-clap-clap)"

We can only hope that this paragraph is omitted from your fathers Wiki page.

NBA Preseason Awards

2012-10-24T15:30:00.001-04:00

As unbelievable as it seems, the NBA Tips-off next week. I’m not ready for it to start yet and it doesn’t appear Jeremy Lin is either.¹ At least I wasn’t ready until I found out that Jalen Rose and Bill Simmons have joined the NBA on ABC team. Now, I’m all in!

In honor of two of my favorite people making ABC the #1 contender for Inside the NBA’s perennial Emmy, I bring you the first annual Haterade Shower NBA Preseason Awards.

Top 10 Sports Podcasts

2012-09-28T15:10:00.000-04:00

If you have a job where you can work while listening to podcasts, you’re winning at the game of life...and you may not even know it.

Bill Simmons recording The BS Report from his Grantland studio.

A few years ago a buddy of mine introduced me the world of podcasts. If you’re not familiar with them, podcasts are digital audio or video recordings that you can download 100% free at places like iTunes, Sticher Radio and podomatic. The vast majority are audio because people typically listen to them on iPods or smart phones with small screens. Some are produced specifically as podcasts while others are previously aired radio and TV shows.

There are a lot of good radio programs out there that might air at a time that doesn’t work for you or may not be available in your area. Plus, commercials suck and you can start, pause and rewind podcasts anytime you want.

Because anyone with a computer and a microphone can produce one, there are pods on anything you can imagine from anyone you can imagine. There’s pop culture podcasts, political podcasts, religious podcast, technological podcasts, fried shrimp, shrimp scampi, shrimp gumbo……sorry, got carried away there. And of course, if you’re a sports junkie like me, you’re going to spend most of your time in the sports podcast arena. Here are the 10 best available.

The Haterade Shower's 2012 NFL Predictions

2012-09-05T14:07:00.000-04:00

Victor Cruz hoists the Lomabardi Trophy at Lucus Oils Stadium (Getty Images)

It’s that time of year again, time for everyone to make Super Bowl predictions prior to week 1 that we can’t ever seem to get right after week 17. The NFL playoffs have become as unpredictable as Charlie Sheen on a bender. The last 2 Champions weren’t even playoff teams going into the final game of the regular season.

Take last year for example. At 3-2, coming off a home loss to the Seahawks and with Eli Manning getting booed in every game, you had the Giants winning the Super Bowl, right? Ok maybe not, week 5 is kind of early. But you definitely had them winning it all after week 15, right? Losers in 5 of their last 6 including a brutal home loss to a 4-9 Redskins team. Of course you didn’t. Everyone had the 15-1, defending Super Bowl Champion, Green Bay Packers repeating—who lost in their 1st playoff game.

But those minor details are NOT going to stop me from pounding my fist on the table and telling you who is going to win each Division, Wildcard and Super Bowl with absolute certainty.

NBA Finals: Lebron vs Durant, Who Ya Got?

2012-06-12T15:43:00.001-04:00

Let me start by saying that anyone who tells you their NBA Finals prediction with any certainty is a mororn. There’s absolutely no way, given compatibility and the ups and downs of these 2 team’s seasons, that you can do anything more than lean towards one team or the other.

Since Davis Stern failed to respond to any of my emails demanding that this series be changed to a best of 21, I guess we’re stuck picking the best out of 7.

NBA Flopping: Enough is Enough

2012-06-06T17:15:00.000-04:00

If Florida can have a Stand Your Ground law why can't the NBA?

What a Difference a Week Makes: OKC Zombies and Rajon Rondo

2012-06-04T07:06:00.000-04:00

"There's a knee jerk, hyperventilation, lack of perspective in general when it comes to the instantaneous microwaving of sports these days"

-Dan Le Batard

Remember on Wednesday, after San Antonio beat Oklahoma City 120-111 and everyone was talking about how dominant the Spurs were, that the ~~Thunder~~ Zombie-Sonics would be lucky to win a game, and Jostens had already started designing their 2012 championship rings?

Yea, me neither.

LeBron James Haters: Be Careful What You Ask For...

2012-06-01T10:02:00.000-04:00

There's never been an athlete, in any sport, like LeBron James. At 6'9" and 280 pounds, he's so fast, strong and agile that I'd believe you if you told me he was some mad-scientist's creation of pumping a human full of pterodactyl blood. With that kind of foundation, seeing the game as clearly as he does should be illegal. Being taller than most of the leagues other ball handlers gives him additional passing lanes, but he's got a remarkably high basketball IQ, great anticipation and superb court-vision too.

To even the playing field, the basketball Gods created LeBron during the thirstiest era in sports-media history. A time when dozens of networks committed to round the clock coverage have a constant need for material to fill the hours. Positive stories get over covered, negative stories get blown out of proportion and non-stories become headlines.

His career has also coincided with the start ups of Facebook and Twitter, where clowning people is somewhat of a sport in itself. The social media era has made it easy and fun to run hate-trains and for the past 22 months, LeBron has been getting pounded.

In July of 2010, fans in New York, Chicago and Cleveland, salty that their team didn't get the best player in the NBA,started the Hate-on-LeBron movement and it took off like KONY 2012. He went from being the 3rd most popular athlete in the world to the most hated in less than a month, surpassing guys that abused women, animals and drugs because he chose to work in Miami.

LeBron shows Tyson Chandler who the real DPOY was

People typically say that they turned on him because of the way he handled his free agency, when ESPN made his press conference into a program they called The Decision, but that's ridiculous to me. What he did is no different than National Signing Day—when we celebrate High School kids cutting class to hold press conferences announcing where they've decided to play football at the following year—other than the fact that James raised over $3 million for the Boys and Girls Club in doing so. What a jerk!

I'll never completely understand how LeBron became the most hated guy in sports. He wasn't the first star to switch teams—Shaq left Orlando in1996, he wasn't the first to do so that summer—Amare Stoudamire left Phoenix and Chris Bosh left Toronto, he wasn't even the first to leave Cleveland—Carlos Boozer lied to a blind man to get out of his contract in 2004 (That seems far more egregious to me).

He was, however, the first to have the entire sports world turn on him for doing so. Because of that, it almost makes sense that he's the first superstar I can remember being visibly shaken by a backlash of hate and criticism. You don't see it often (if ever) in professional sports, but the critics have affected him. There are times late in games, and in interviews, where LeBron seems to become somewhat paralyzed with a fear of what people's reactions to him are going to be. Those moments of insecurity are like blood in a pool full of sharks. It becomes a feeding frenzy, the Bron-bashers love it.

With the help of Skip Bayless, the leader of simple minded idiots, LeBron's rep has become that he's anti-clutch. I realize that we live in a society that can't remember what happened earlier this year much less what happened in past seasons, but to say that James lacks the "clutch gene" you have to conveniently forget every moment of his illustrious career other than last year's Finals.

LeBron shoots over Pau Gasol and Matt Barnes

James has had more clutch moments than casual fans seem to remember. He's taken over playoff games and series before—what he did in game 5 of the 2007 Eastern Conference Finals (scoring 29 of his teams final 30 points in a double-overtime win) and in game 4 against Indy last Sunday (40 points,18 rebounds, 9 assists, 2 blocks and 2 Steals) were two of the greatest playoff performances in history—he's hit game winners in the playoffs, and yes, he also displayed Costanza-Esq shrinkage in last year's NBA Finals. There's no excuse for his lack of aggressiveness against Dallas last June. His usage rate in game 5 was the lowest of his playoff career. But,"That was an occurrence, not a trend." Grantland's Dave Jacoby points out, "It has not reoccurred. That would only be a concern if it reoccurred this year."

LeBron James is the best basketball player in the world, there's no one on the planet who does more for his team. Against the Pacers in round 2he led the Heat in points, assists, rebounds, blocks and steals. That's absolutely absurd! But all people seem to care about is whether or not he hits buzzer-beaters.By those standards Robert Horry is one of the 3 best players of all time, as much as I love Big Shot Rob, that would just be silly. It's like people don't watch the first 45 minutes of games. (Do you fools watch basketball or do you just skim through it?)

Here's the thing though, you can't completely dominate 90% of a game and then fail in the final minutes due to lack of ability; it's a mental block. That's why I warn the Bron-Bashers to be careful what you ask for.

If you continue to be ridiculous and relentless without merit in your criticism, eventually, he's going to stop caring what people think.

LeBron didn't get it when fans started booing him in every road game since the beginning of last season. He didn't get it when everyone overlooked his dominance against the 76ers, Celtics and Bulls in last year’s playoffs and only focused on his Finals no-show. He didn't get it when, win or lose, he got pounded every time he didn't take the game winning shot over the past two seasons (even in the All-Star game). After getting hammered for passing out of a double-team to a wide open Udonis Haslem during the final seconds of a game against Utah in February (a game he took over in the 4th quarter by the way), LeBron finally started to realize something; he can't win until he wins. And maybe even if he wins he won't win. Maybe he'll win 3 rings and people will still hate him. Either way, there's not a thing he can do right now that people won't find a negative in. If LeBron walked on water his critics would say it was because he was afraid to get wet.

I'm not sure if he has truly accepted the "F anyone who's not with me!" mentality yet—he's saying all the right things about only his family and teammates mattering but sometimes those things take time to sink in—but when LeBron finally does accept that the critics don't matter, stops playing the "what if" games in his head and fully commits to giving no fucks, watch out. He might just win "not 1, not 2, not 3..." in a row.

Can you imagine if one of the NBA's leading scorers, best facilitators, best rebounders and the best defender in the league starts closing games like Mariano Rivera? Skip's head might explode. At least we can only hope!

What a Difference a Week Makes: The Miami Heat and Lolo Jones

2012-05-27T06:15:00.000-04:00

Wade hits one of the many circus shots he hit in game 6

Miami Heat

Last Sunday the Miami Heat were trailing the Indiana Pacers 2 games to 1, Dwyane Wade had just played the worst game of his career—a 5 points on 2 of 13 shooting struggle that included a "Get the F outa my face!" altercation with head coach Erik Spoelstra—and everyone had completely written the Heat off. The talk wasn't about whether or not they needed to split the big 3 up, we jumped right past that. It was whether Pat Riley or Phil Jackson would be coaching the team next season (because Coach Spo was already gone) and what they could get in return for trading Wade or Chris Bosh.

Can the OKC Thunder Beat the San Antonio Spurs?

2012-05-26T06:01:00.000-04:00

Russ drains an 18 footer in Duncan's grill.

I'm as big of a bandwagon Oklahoma City Thunder fan as there is. I can't remember a more enjoyable team to watch. Four super likeable, humble stars whose talents blend together perfectly. Kevin Durant—aka Kid Clutch—is the answer to the question What's cooler than being cool? Never afraid of the moment, never gets overly emotional, he's one of the NBA's 2 or 3 best players and gets better every time we see him play. Russell Westbrook is the teams high-energy, high-emotion guy who's constantly firing up his teammates and the crowd while attempting to tear an oblique muscle after big plays. As scary as it sounds, he might be a better all-around player than KD. James Harden, this season's 6th man of the year, is the scoring spark off the bench. He's really a starter but has accepted the role of 2nd unit and late game facilitator for the betterment of the team. Then there's Serge Ibaka, who's still learning how to play the game of basketball, but is already the best shot blocker in the league.

On paper, the Zombie-Sonics¹ look like they can not only beat the Spurs but should be favored to do so. Danny Green and rookie Kawhi Lenard have the daunting task of trying to guard Durant, Westbrook should be able to get buckets all day against Tony Parker, neither Harden or Manu Ginobili can defend each other so that's a wash and Kendrick Perkins—widely considered the best post defender in the league—should be able to do as good a job as anyone on Tim Duncan.

NFL Draft: Even The Bucs Can’t Screw This One Up, Right?

2012-04-23T21:17:00.000-04:00


Richardson puts a move on Claiborne in the title Game

Even before Andrew, luck has always been a major player in the NFL Draft. That, along with injuries, inadequate coaching, poor supporting casts, bad environments and other circumstances lead to "can't miss" guys falling short of their expectations as often as they live up to them. There's also a lot of players that, for one reason or another, fall to the later rounds and become franchise changing players like Tom Brady (6th round), James Harrison (undrafted) and Rodney Harrison (5th round).

Tim Tebow: The Blaine Gabbert Effect

2012-04-20T10:19:00.000-04:00

Excerpt from Nobody Hates Tebow...They Hate You

Tim Tebow (Getty Images 2011)

Tebowmaniacs will tell you that the reason they get so defensive when someone brings up one of Tim Tebow's flaws is because no other quarterback has ever received as much criticism as him. I've had a several people point out to me that Blaine Gabbert is a worse quarterback than Tim Tebow but doesn't receive nearly as much criticism.

It made me think, why don't people use Gabbert as a verbal punching bag? He's sucks too. Then, when I started juxtaposing their 2011 statistics I realized something.

LeBron's Still LeBron In The 4th Quarter

2012-03-03T00:44:00.000-05:00

With his team trailing the Utah Jazz 71-78 entering the 4th quarter Friday night, LeBron James did what he's been doing all season, he put on a dominating performance.

James scored 17 of his 35 points in the 4th. He hit 8 of his 9 shots including a 3 to give Miami a 1 point lead with 1:07 left in the game and an insanely difficult jumper with 26 seconds to go that gave them a 3 point lead.

Up 2 with 14 seconds to go, Dwyane Wade missed a crucial free throw on one end before fouling Devin Harris on an And-1 on the other.

Down 1 with 4 seconds to go, the Heat inbounded the ball to LeBron who cut left, drew a double-team and made a bounce-pass to a wide open Udonis Haslem at the free throw line. The elbow jumper is Haslem's bread and butter shot but he missed it this time and hey, it happens, that's basketball. But how people can turn tonight's game into a once again LeBron comes up short in the clutch moment is beyond my comprehension.
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What Does Tiger Have Left to Prove?

2012-02-12T18:41:00.000-05:00

Since turning pro in 1996, Tiger Woods has dominated the sport of Golf in a way that few people have ever dominated anything. He's won 71 PGA Tour events¹, 14 Major Championships and been PGA player of the year 10 times. He’s earned more money than MontyBrewster could spend in 3 lifetimes, formed the Tiger Woods Foundation to help under privileged kids, broke down one of the last racial barriers in American sports and elevated the popularity of golf the way Magic Johnson, Larry Bird and Michael Jordan did basketball.

What does Tiger have left to prove?

Is Russell Westbrook OKC’s Best Player?

2012-02-10T12:25:00.000-05:00

A couple of weeks ago when ESPN’s Ric Bucher ranked Russell Westbrook ahead of Kevin Durant on his Top 10 NBA players list people went nuts, myself included. KD is on the short list of best players in the NBA. How in the world could he not be the best player on his own team?

The more I've thought about it, examined the different dynamics, and watched the last 7 or 8 Thunder games with those rankings in my mind, the more I think Bucher might be right.

Orlando Magic: Time To Make Moves

2012-01-28T04:51:00.000-05:00

After the Orlando Magic set franchise records for fewest points and lowest shooting percentage in a game against Boston Monday night, and blew a 27 point 3rd quarter lead to the Celtics on Thursday, the Magic came out and made a statement against the Hornets tonight.

This team has no chance of winning the NBA Championship this year.

Otis Smith Lacks The Magic Touch

2012-01-27T05:56:00.000-05:00

I'm nominating Otis Smith for the worst basketball GM of the past 20 years award. He’s the frontrunner in a category that includes outstanding performances from David Kahn, Kevin McHale, Billy Knight and Isiah Thomas. But those guys all took over talentless teams that continued to bask in mediocrity. Smith took over a talent-rich Magic team with a budding superstar in Dwight Howard, a 20 year old "does everything" guy in Trevor Ariza, the 2004 College Player of the year in Jameer Nelson, solid role players in Tony Battie and Hedo Turkoglu and turned the team into a ticking time bomb.

His first move as the Magic's GM was signing Rashard Lewis to one of the worst contracts in NBA history.¹ Since then he has continued to dig Orlando into a deeper hole every year despite having the most dominating big man since Hakeem Olajuwon.
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Luck or Mediocrity?

2011-09-15T23:20:00.000-04:00

The trending topic in sports talk today was, “As a fan, would you object to your team tanking the season to draft Andrew Luck?” My answer: I would object if we didn’t!¹

Look, I’m a Tampa Bay fan, and you know what the Buccaneers got for not sucking bad enough in 2006 and 2009? Gains Adams instead of Calvin Johnson (after losing a coin flip to Detroit) and Gerald McCoy instead of Ndamukong Suh because they won a meaningless week 16 game against the Saints. So don’t give me this crap about trying to win every game.

I’ve always said that, if my team has no legitimate chance to win a ring, I’d much rather get a top draft pick then finish 8-8 and be stuck with a crappy pick and crappy team. And that was in drafts that didn’t contain this kind of prospect.

Stanford QB Andrew Luck, by all accounts, is the most polished prospect since, well, maybe ever. If I were creating the ultimate QB in Madden he probably wouldn’t be as good as Luck looks. The guy throws the rock like Tom Brady and runs like Tim Tebow. Most important of all though, he’s a bright kid. He appears to

LLWS: The Perfect Game

2011-09-05T17:23:00.000-04:00

The Little League World Series is one of my favorite sporting events of the year. There's something magical about it. And I don’t even like baseball that much. At least not on the professional level. I find it only slightly more exciting than mowing the lawn(unless my smoking hot neighbor is washing her car, then mowing the lawn wins out) I boycott SportsCenter from June to August because the mundane baseball highlights take up 90% of the show. Major League Baseball is dull; the players themselves don’t even seem to care. But the Little League World Series is different; the LLWS is sports in perfection.

PK's: The Worst Part of Soccer

2011-08-28T17:20:00.000-04:00

As a little kid I used to love penalty kicks. They were the most exciting part of soccer to me. In part because soccer video games were lame back then and PK's were the only fun part, but probably more so because I lacked the attention span to watch games in their entirety. As I've grown older though, and gained an appreciation for the intricacies of sports, I've come to despise them. It's an absolutely ridiculous way to decide the winner of a match. It’s like determining the winner of a basketball game by playing 5 games of 1-on-1. It has nothing to do with the actual, strategic game of soccer.

Even the name "penalty kick" suggests that they should only be awarded after a penalty has been committed. And I do mean awarded. According to The Science of Soccer, 85% of PK's on goal land in the back of the net. It’s all but a certainty that a goal is going to be scored. Which makes sense; they’re only taken after a foul has been committed on a scoring opportunity in the box.