The Hellacious Homemaker

Holy cow I have a blog!

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 18:11:00 +0000

Wow. Where the heck have I been? I have a hard time following through with anything so I am quite surprised I even managed to blog for a week. Ha! Well, I am back. Hopefully for good this time.

I am a terrible cook. Nate tells everyone I burn water. I'm not sure that's even possible but if it was, I could probably do it. This makes me feel super guilty. Now that I am a stay at home mom, I feel like it is my job to be able to cook, clean and take care of my family. Not that I have to be Mrs. Cleaver or anything (thank god because I don't know how anyone could not catch that dress on fire) but I should at least be able to make a decent chicken wing. Right? This feeling took me to the bookstore yesterday in search of a great beginners cookbook. I mean beginner beginner. Like the book before "Cooking for Dummies" beginner. After searching for hours I found one I think will do the trick. Better Homes and Gardens "Anyone Can Cook" It literally has pictures of utensils with names next to them. This book should fit me like a glove.

So tonight I embark on what I hope to be a kitchen fireless journey. 5 days, 5 dinners and if we are lucky, 10 fingers when I'm done. See you tonight!

Wash Room Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Wed, 08 Dec 2010 20:30:00 +0000

Image from: http://www.michael-shirley.com/

This weeks tip is fairly simple. Quite honestly, common sense for most. I made this mistake when I was younger and was recently reminded of how upsetting it was when a friend's son had a cute new hot pink hat. I wonder where he got it...

DON'T WASH WOOL IN YOUR MACHINE!

Just don't do it. Take it to the cleaners. It's pretty cheap and totally worth it. I know there are some of you who will say there are ways you can do it at home and blah blah blah. I'm not willing to risk it. My kid's got enough clothes, he doesn't need any of mine. Especially not an 80 dollar sweater he will just get mac & cheese on anyway.

Better safe than sorry friends.

Got Fruit?

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 00:47:00 +0000

The other day I sat down with a big, bright, juicy looking orange. I carefully peeled it, spending extra time removing all the weird little white pieces and pulling apart the sections perfectly. I haven't had a real orange in forever and I was so stinking excited I wanted it to be magical. I took a bite, savoring the sweet but slightly tangy taste while forcefully spitting it to the ground.

It tasted like crap.

The best looking orange in the bunch had turned out to probably be the worst. How could this be? Where did I go wrong?

I realized I know nothing about picking out produce. Oddly, just because an orange is big and shiny doesn't mean it is ripe. I know, weird huh?

Now for my point...

Here's what I learned about choosing some common fruits.

Oranges: When looking for a ripe orange, don't worry about color. Oranges with green or brown patches can be just as ripe (and some very orange oranges are even injected with food coloring to get that bright color). For the best flavor, look for a firm, heavy orange with a thin, smooth skin.

Apples: A ripe apple will be firm and deeply colored. Depending on the variety, there should also be a slight rosy tone (such as with yellow and green apples). Rub your finger across the skin. If it wrinkles, put it back and move on.

Strawberries: Strawberries are ripe when they're a deep red color with a shiny skin. Avoid buying any with green or yellow patches, as they're unripe (and won't ripen any further). Also stay away from very large strawberries. Though they look tempting, their flavor is often inferior to smaller berries.

Pears: Most pears in the supermarket are not yet ripe, so choose those that are firm and free from dark soft spots. Once you get the pears home, leave them on the counter to ripen for a few days (or put them in a paper bag to speed things up). They are ripe when they are slightly soft and usually speckled with tiny light brown spots.

Watermelon: Choose a firm, heavy watermelon with a smooth skin -- and be sure it has a well-defined yellow area on one side. This is the spot where the watermelon has been resting while ripening, and if it's not there it means it may have been harvested too soon.

Enjoy your fruit! Hopefully there will be no spitting involved.

Grandma's Strawberry Bread

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 18:30:00 +0000

Grandma Spayer's Strawberry bread

I am NOT a baker. I can hardly make chili from a can without burning it. Although I did burn this bread the first time I made it (go figure), it is the easiest thing I have made from scratch and I now consider myself semi-pro with this recipe. It's great if you are new to baking and tastes super yummy!

Clearly I buy my sugar at Wal-Mart

You need:

3 cups flour

1 3/4 cups sugar

1 tsp salt

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp cinnamon

4 eggs

3/4 cup oil

1 16oz container of frozen strawberries, thawed

(you can use fresh ones instead just mash them up some so you get a little juice)

Preheat your oven to 350.

Add all dry ingredients together in a bowl and stir. You can be fancy and sift them if you have a sifter. I'm a fork girl myself.

After "sifting" make a little well, add eggs and beat them a little. If you're feeling angry you can beat them alot. Then add the oil and strawberries.

Stir, Stir, Stir!

Pour into 2 greased 5x9 bread pans and bake for 55 min.

This makes 2 good sized loaves.

Smaller loaves are great for gifting, just reduce baking time to 40-45 min.

EAT IT UP!

Wash Room Wednesday!

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Wed, 01 Dec 2010 17:37:00 +0000

My super small, disaster of a laundry room.

I'm learning how to do laundry, the right way. I know there is more to washing clothes than just cramming as much as you can in the maching and pushing a button.

Enter "Wash Room Wednesday" Every Wednesday I will post something laundry related. Reader submitted tips & tricks, personal experiences, things I Google, and all the laundry gone wrong stories I'm sure I will encounter. On to today's tip!

REMOVING INK STAINS

This year we decided to decorate pumpkins with Sharpie markers instead of carving them. Not sure what we were thinking. I got this from http://www.doityourself.com/

Dab with a clean, wet sponge until no more ink will lift from the fabric

Allow to air dry (a hot dryer will set the stain)

Spray the spot with hairspray and place a paper towel on either side of the stain

Blot the remaining ink onto the paper towel

Use a pre-treatment or stain spray and launder as usual.

I only had a small spot but this totally worked for me.

Happy Laundering!

noreply@blogger.com (Selene) — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 18:42:00 +0000

hel·la·ciousVery great, bad, or overwhelming.

I have recently become a stay at home mom to my 2 year old son. I feel safe saying it's been a hellacious experience thus far. By all definition.

The last 9 years, my family has been living a fast paced, high strung, processed life. If it took longer then 20 minutes to do it from start to finish, it didn't get done. I haven't gone to the grocery store without feeling the need to sprint through the aisles since I was 19. After working a 40+ hour a week job for the last 6 years, I was excited to spend time at home relaxing, playing with our son, cooking, crafting and finally getting to do everything I felt I never had time for.

"POP"

That was my bubble.

What am I doing? I have no idea how to cook anything that doesn't come out of a can, don't know what half the settings on my washer mean, and potty training...I might as well be speaking German. This is one big hill I have to climb and I feel like I'm wearing cement shoes.

I am hoping that through sharing my experiences I will become a better Wife, Mother and Friend, get my family healthier, bring us closer together and replace my feelings of insanity with feelings of accomplishment.

I challenge all hellacious homemakers (I know you are out there) to join me. Everything is better with friends! And food. Bring cookies.