I Do: Frayed</h1> <article> <h1>I Do: Frayed</h1> <p>duane_scott — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 13:00:06 +0000</p> <p> <em>Editor's Note: This month we're in a series exploring the joys and struggles of marriage, broaching the topic from multiple angles for the sake of helping, healing, and considering.</em></p> <p> He sits silent, nervously plucking the frayed threads on the arm-rest of the chair across from my desk, and I think of torn hearts and how he's grasping at only strings, trying to piece his back together.</p> <p> "Well," he says slowly, "I guess we're getting a divorce."</p> <p> The words hang hopeless between us, and I look at him. Misty eyes meet misty eyes, and together, we know this isn't how the story is suppose to end; how five years ago at his wedding, everyone smiled and only thought of happily ever after.</p> <p> "She moved out this morning," he continues, head lowered again, hands still smoothing, moving, gently arranging the frayed threads of the arm chair, trying to put each ripped fragment of their marriage into perspective.</p> <p> "Do you love her," I say, not as a question, but more of a statement, because to me, falling out of love simply shouldn't be.</p> <p> The sun shines bright through the windows, and I plead silently with God to warm these two hurting hearts, a mere thirty miles apart, yet a world between them; to ease the hurts and allow grace and forgiveness to melt them into one.</p> <p> "I love her," he says. "I've always loved her, but sometimes, and you'll find this out… love isn't enough."</p> <p> Our conversation is interrupted by a phone call, and he excuses himself. But his words stay with me all day.</p> <p> <em>Love isn't enough. </em></p> <p> It circles my every thought until I need to get out, to wander under the warmth of the sun. </p> <p> “If love isn’t enough, then what is?” I ask God as we walk the well-worn ATV trail through the trees.</p> <p> No breeze teases the trees. No birds sing. And no words are heard from above. I turn to walk another direction and bump into silence again as the clouds cover the sun.</p> <p> Before me is a corner of a broken fence, and I study it as the sun emerges and plays through leaves across its wooden beams.</p> <p> At the bottom of the main post, embedded in the soil to add strength and stability, a stone.</p> <p> A cornerstone.</p> <p> And just before I turn to leave, I notice something else. Something significant shimmers in the sun, bright rays bouncing off metal and I stop to look.</p> <p> Two old fence wires loop around the post from either side to meet and twist together, stretching straight down to form an unmistakable “Y”.</p> <p> I suddenly think of the <a href="http://www.stanford.edu/dept/linguistics/languages/twi/Default.htm" target="_blank">Twi language</a>, an African tribal dialect I grew up with as a missionary kid, and the word <em>Yesu</em>, which stands for Jesus. Or more accurately, it stands for <em>Yesu ich</em>, which is derived from the Hebrew word <em>Yahweh</em>.</p> <p> That Y in front of me: <em>Yesu ich. Yahweh. Jesus.</em></p> <p> <em>Jesus</em> is the cornerstone that binds two together.</p> <p> I am hushed in His presence and the way He is so alive, right here before me, talking to me through an old fence post.</p> <p class="rtecenter"> <a href="/sites/default/files/userfiles/111324/postimage-fencepostY_2_0.jpg"></a></p> <p class="rtecenter"> </p> <p class="rtecenter"> * * * * *</p> <p class="rteleft"> Join us for a community writing project on the topic of marriage. We invite you to tell us a story of some aspect of marriage, whether focusing on your grandparents, your best friends, or yourself. Publish it at your blog or in Facebook Notes, and link up at <a href="http://gettingdownwithjesus.com/the-letter/" target="_blank">Getting Down With Jesus</a> <strong>by this Friday</strong>, February 10. Watch for a post with highlights a week from today (on February 15).</p> <p> <em>Leaf image by <a href="http://www.ejpphoto.com/" target="_blank">Eric</a>. Used with <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/" target="_blank">permission</a>. Sourced via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ejpphoto/5906761938/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>. Fence wires image and post by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/ejpphoto/5906761938/" target="_blank">Duane Scott.</a></em></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Duane Scott </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=-agyK0EkGOw:yUjzvXZfFzE:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=-agyK0EkGOw:yUjzvXZfFzE:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>Start-up Lessons: Raising the Bar</h1> <p>claireburge — Wed, 08 Feb 2012 19:00:04 +0000</p> <p> The space could easily be mistaken for an expansive art studio. The floors are old sleeper beams. The sash windows creak and need a stiff jolt to open. The red brick walls mixed in with stark white paint create an eclectic feel. Oh, and we definitely cannot forget the massive floor-to-ceiling pin board belonging to the ever-so eccentric in-house designer, Emma. She makes sure we all look good. Really good.</p> <p> Just down the road, the sister buildings boast huge glass windows, bright open spaces, canteens that offer free lunch, pool tables and collaborative corners where minds buzz. The rivalry in this city builds daily as Google, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Amazon, Salesforce, IBM and Microsoft fill more and more buildings. .</p> <p> This <a href="http://www.ireland.com/">little country of four million people</a> that the rest of the world mistake for pint-drinking folk has big ambitions. Pint drinkers they may be, but a lot more is brewing than meets the eye. Business incubators such as <a href="http://dogpatchlabs.com/">Dogpatch Labs</a> and <a href="http://www.ndrc.ie/launchpad/">NDRC</a> abound to tell the tales of the start-ups sweating it out to make it really big, but there are also the failures that spin into different directions and the ideas which simply never make it to the cellar.</p> <p> So this business of brewing the entrepreneurial pint, what does it involve?</p> <p> Research shows that entrepreneurship is not a gene or a gift bestowed only on the select few. Given enough time and <a href="http://digitalknowledge.babson.edu/fer/vol29/iss6/7/">deliberate practice</a>, it becomes a learned skill that anyone can master. There is, however, one inherent trait that researchers have shown to be the defining characteristic of those who pursue entrepreneurial notions: the need for achievement. The good news is that this too can be taught and learned.</p> <p> <a href="http://www.accel-team.com/human_relations/hrels_06_mcclelland.html">David McClelland</a> and his Harvard associates have studied this topic for more than twenty years, discovering three core defining traits that people with a high need for achievement share:</p> <ol> <li> <p> They set high, attainable goals.</p> </li> <li> <p> They seek job performance-related feedback (how did that last project look?) rather than attitudinal feedback (do you like me?).</p> </li> <li> <p> They are more concerned about personal achievement than they are about the rewards of success.</p> </li> </ol> <p> Entrepreneurial companies know this and define their cultures by it: allow employees to strive personally and they will excel. This type of personal striving requires looser structures, open-minded management, and big vision: broad terms but clearly achievable as so many companies are leading the way to show us how.</p> <p> Over the next few months we will be exploring various facets of the entrepreneurial mindset, entrepreneurship in practice, and what it means to really succeed in this space.</p> <p> </p> <p> Considering the need for achievement, where do you find yourself on the entrepreneurial scale? Do you think entrepreneurship can be taught?</p> <p> <em>Image by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/mythoto/">Len Matthews</a>. Used with <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">permission</a>. Sourced via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mythoto/2917647893/">Flickr</a>. Post by <a href="http://www.claireburgephotography.com/">Claire Burge</a>.</em></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Claire Burge </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=PEa6tAHBSmc:CYOqVvVdWps:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=PEa6tAHBSmc:CYOqVvVdWps:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>Beware the False Signs of Success</h1> <p>suemiley2 — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 19:08:50 +0000</p> <p> The people around us always seem to look shinier and newer and better than what we have going on. Why is it so easy to get sucked into a view of success that may only be a facade, rather than the true reality? Looks can be deceiving, and in the end, it is only our eternal perspective that counts. But that may very well be the thing that people are drawn to. </p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-linkout"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> http://www.suemiley.com/beware-of-the-false-signs-of-success </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Sue Miley </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=7pcMj0fc0cw:9ABRqh4seOs:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=7pcMj0fc0cw:9ABRqh4seOs:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>Community Post: Praying to the Wall</h1> <p>23Yanks — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 15:35:38 +0000</p> <p> As parents, our work involves modeling healthy behaviors for our children. For example, we want to teach them what it means to enter into relationship with God by modeling a healthy prayer life. But recently, Billy Coffey's son called him out. "You don't pray like you used to," the boy told his father. "You used to do it like you were talkin' and you knew God was listenin.'" Read Billy's <a href="http://www.billycoffey.com/2012/01/praying-to-the-wall/">full post here</a>, in which he shares honest thoughts on prayer ... and wandering from God. </p> <p> </p> <p> <span style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: 'Lucida Grande', verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">Image by <a href="http://www.rodinis.net/">Ryan Rodinis</a>.</span><span style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: 'Lucida Grande', verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); "> Used with <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">permission</a>. </span><span style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: 'Lucida Grande', verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">Sourced via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/85732581@N00/26202...">Flickr</a>. </span><span style="color: rgb(34, 34, 34); font-family: 'Lucida Grande', verdana, arial, helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 16px; text-align: left; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); ">Post by <a href="http://www.billycoffey.com/2012/01/praying-to-the-wall/">Billy Coffey</a>. </span></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-linkout"> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> http://www.billycoffey.com/2012/01/praying-to-the-wall/ </div> </div> </div> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Billy Coffey </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=TWewOo6XzP0:g2WKIxzju28:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=TWewOo6XzP0:g2WKIxzju28:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>Book Club: The Ups and Downs</h1> <p>lauraboggess — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 11:00:06 +0000</p> <p> When I read our chapters for the book club this week, I couldn’t help reflecting back to when we first started reading <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0812979370/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=thehighcallio-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0812979370" target="_blank"><em>The Social Animal: The Hidden Sources of Love, Character, and Achievement.</em> </a>What were David Brooks’ opening lines in the introduction of this ambitious book? Do you remember? He said this:</p> <blockquote><p> <em>This is the happiest story you’ve ever read. It’s about two people who led wonderfully fulfilling lives…</em></p> </blockquote> <p> This week in chapters 13-15 we read about how Harold and Erica fall in love. We cheer as together they build a successful consulting business and grieve as it begins to fall apart in a few years. We watch Erica struggle with being unemployed and groan when she accepts a job that doesn’t utilize her gifts or fulfill her potential. We see Harold begin to find his place in the Historical Society and see clues of some strain on his relationship with Erica.</p> <p> Is anyone else wondering when the <em>wonderfully fulfilling</em> part is going to start? Maybe this is the good news: there seem to be a lot of ups and downs on the way to the happily ever after.</p> <p> Along the journey, David Brooks characteristically throws in some compelling facts and research. We learn about the brain chemistry of falling in love (a lovely discussion with Valentine’s Day on the rise), about how people tend to overestimate what they know (self-confidence has very little to do with real competency), about the longterm effects of unemployment (some researchers say it is the psychological equivalent to the death of a spouse), and we learn far more than we ever want to know about the philosophy of rationalism.</p> <p> But the chapter I found most interesting was chapter 15, <em>Métis.</em></p> <p> Brooks begins with a discussion on the differences between the French Enlightenment, which focused on logic, and the British Enlightenment, which focused on the <em>power of the sentiments and affections.</em> It is from this discussion that Brooks gleaned the title for this book.</p> <blockquote><p> <em>Whereas the members of the French Enlightenment imagined a state of nature in which autonomous individuals formed social contracts for their mutual benefit, members of the British Enlightenment stressed that people are born with a social sense, which plays out beneath the level of awareness…Whereas the children of the French Enlightenment tended to see society and its institutions as machines, to be taken apart and reengineered, children of the British Enlightenment tended to see them as organisms, infinitely complex networks of living relationships...The new findings strongly indicate that the British Enlightenment view of human nature is more accurate than the French Enlightenment view...the thinkers from the British Enlightenment were right to depict us as Social Animals. </em></p> </blockquote> <p> But there is more. There is Métis.</p> <p> For a person to thrive, Brooks says that there needs to be an intertwining of Level I—or unconscious thought, and Level II—the conscious mind.</p> <blockquote><p> <em>Intuition and logic exist in partnership. The challenge is to organize this partnership, knowing when to rely on Level I and when to rely on Level 2, and how to organize the interchange between the two. The research doesn’t yet provide clear answers about that, but it does point to an attitude—an attitude that acknowledges the weaknesses of the mind while prescribing strategies for action…This is a different type of knowledge. It comes from integrating and synthesizing diverse dynamics. It is produced over time, by an intelligence that is associational—observing closely, imagining loosely, comparing like to unlike and like to like to find harmonies and rhythms in the unfolding of events. </em></p> </blockquote> <p> Métis is this <em>state of wisdom that emerges from the conversation between Level I and Level 2.</em></p> <p> Fascinating. Especially the story of the gobiid fish.</p> <p> <em>What do you think? Link up below with a post at your blog or simply leave us a thought in the comment section. Next week we tackle three more chapters: The Insurgency, Getting Older, and Morality. I hope you’ll join us</em>.</p> <p><script type="text/javascript" src="http://www.simply-linked.com/listwidget.aspx?l=aab64870-0adf-4095-ba65-4b5983174361" ></script></p> <p> <em>Image by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/visionwithin/" target="_blank">Sarah Spaulding</a>. Used <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/" target="_blank">with permission.</a> Sourced via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/visionwithin/172298501/" target="_blank">Flickr.</a> Post by <a href="http://lauraboggess.com" target="_blank">Laura J. Boggess.</a></em></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Laura J. Boggess </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=kJkN_3OaSs0:uHUc90Yd9Uc:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=kJkN_3OaSs0:uHUc90Yd9Uc:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>Beware the False Signs of Success</h1> <p>David Rupert — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:39:18 +0000</p> <p> <strong>Sue Miley</strong> always has great things to say over at <a href="http://www.suemiley.com/beware-of-the-false-signs-of-success" target="_blank">Christian Business Crossroads</a>. And her recent post hits on many different levels. She observes that everyone on Facebook is having their “best life yet.” She looks around church and no one really seems all that “messy.”</p> <p> The sense of perfection pervades her business world, as she looks longingly at the store with the new sign, the fresh pain and the new approach. “It always looks shinier, newer, and better from the vantage point of our reality,” she writes. “But is it real? Looks are deceiving.”Read her post, <a href="http://www.suemiley.com/beware-of-the-false-signs-of-success" target="_blank">Beware the False Signs of Success.</a></p> <p> <em>Post featured by High Calling Newsletter Editor <a href="http://www.redletterbelievers.com" target="_blank">David Rupert.</a></em></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> David Rupert </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=o-m0ikPw5Eg:JDCEMbT1yVY:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=o-m0ikPw5Eg:JDCEMbT1yVY:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>How to Cope in a Fishbowl Workplace</h1> <p>David Rupert — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 18:39:31 +0000</p> <p> Do you act and talk differently around the boss? Do you clam up when they walk through the door? Do you have a different language that you use? <strong>Mike St. Pierre</strong> explores this dichomity in <a href="http://mikestpierre.com/?p=2315" target="_blank">The Daily Saint</a>. He writes, “When the boss is at a conference or is sick, we breathe a collective sigh of relief.” And as a manager himself, he knows that people are more at ease when he’s gone. He has four solutions to this problem. Read them at <a href="http://mikestpierre.com/?p=2315" target="_blank">How to Cope in a Fishbowl Workplace.</a></p> <p> <em>Post highlighted by Newsletter Editor<a href="http://www.redletterbelievers.com" target="_blank"> David Rupert.</a></em></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> David Rupert </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=bW5ZloWa2As:oh-Q9_QbOh0:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=bW5ZloWa2As:oh-Q9_QbOh0:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>I Do: Struggle</h1> <p>glynnyoung — Sat, 04 Feb 2012 19:00:03 +0000</p> <p> <em>Editor's Note: For the month of February, we're launching a series exploring the joys and struggles of marriage, broaching the topic from multiple angles for the sake of helping, healing, and considering.</em></p> <p> I'm not a child of divorce, but I have a half-brother and half-sister who are. Both of my parents had been previously married—my mother once and my father twice. The odds were not good for a successful marriage. My parents came close to separating several times but somehow hung in there.</p> <p> What it took me years to understand was how their previous marriages influenced everything, including the two children they had together. Divorce can create wariness about marriage that borders on pessimism, and often the expectation that this one, too, may be temporary.</p> <p> Last summer, writer Tony Woodlief posted “<a href="http://imagejournal.org/page/blog/when-arms-fail">When Arms Fail</a>” at Image Journal, describing the pain of the decision he and his wife had made to divorce and what it was likely to mean for their four children.</p> <p> I had an immediate reaction: <em>No! Don’t! The cost is huge! For all of us!</em></p> <p> The very next day, Susan Gregory Thomas published “<a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052702303544604576430341393583056.html">The Divorce Generation</a>” in <em>The Wall Street Journal</em>, describing how she and her husband came to a decision to divorce. They have two children. She had vowed she would never do what her parents had done, that she would be different. She knew she’d help stack the deck against her marriage by living with her husband six years before they were married. But she would be different. She would beat the statistics.</p> <p> She didn’t.</p> <p> <em>Stop! No one does divorce well. No one.</em></p> <p> We know divorce happens. It happens to Christians and non-Christians alike. It happens for all kinds of reasons. But it shouldn’t. Some reasons have a Biblical basis – adultery and abandonment. Many don’t.</p> <p> A few years ago, three couples I knew well at the church we attended were “suddenly” getting a divorce. The shock in all three cases was that virtually no one in the church had had a clue what was happening. Why don’t we know? Why don’t we pay more attention?</p> <p> Woodlief had a <a href="http://imagejournal.org/page/blog/the-string-of-words">follow-up at Image Journal</a> in December. The divorce is final. He described Christmas with his children. Sadness saturates the story. Christmas felt like some pale imitation to that family.</p> <p> I want to tell Tony Woodlief that the cost is going to be worse than he already suspects.</p> <p> I want to tell Susan Gregory Thomas that there is always hope. Always.</p> <p> Too often, we don’t see the signs of problems in others’ marriages. Or if we do, we keep our thoughts and opinions to ourselves. We could be minding someone else’s business or we fear the response will be anger or the end of a friendship. And it’s probably messy and who needs more mess in their lives?</p> <p> So we say nothing.</p> <p> The church and its pastors have a different problem. They can’t disclose what happens in private counseling sessions or discussions. Confidentiality and potential liability present serious issues. So the silence continues, aided and abetted by the false belief that “real” Christians don’t have marriage problems. We all wear our smiley faces on Sunday, masking pain, hurt, anger and brokenness.</p> <p> What can I say to Tony and Susan?</p> <p> Tony, turn back from the gray sadness.</p> <p> Susan, hold out your hand to your husband.</p> <p> Restoration can happen.</p> <p> Marriage is not about your personal happiness. That’s a myth. Marriage never is about happiness.</p> <p> It is about a commitment, a commitment you make to each other and to God, so that you as one flesh can accomplish the things he’s set before you. And you have to fight to keep that commitment. You have to fight for your marriage, and you have to fight every day.</p> <p> Marriage doesn’t get easier over time, but it gets less hard. Every married couple I know has had problems and considered divorce or separation or “freedom.” You will not solve your problems with divorce; you will likely make them worse for yourself and others. We are all vulnerable; no one has the market cornered on perfect, lasting marriages. We all struggle.</p> <p> Keep struggling with us.</p> <p> <em>Image by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/phozographer/">phozographer</a>. Used with <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/">permission</a>. Sourced via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/phozographer/5532085586/">Flickr</a>. Post by <a href="http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com/">Glynn Young</a>, author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Dancing-Priest-Glynn-Young/dp/0983236356/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325872392&sr=1-1">Dancing Priest</a>.</em></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Glynn Young </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=KV0Sy2hNfwI:OIcDCWB15-c:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=KV0Sy2hNfwI:OIcDCWB15-c:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>Is Work a Four-Letter Word?</h1> <p>glynnyoung — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 12:00:04 +0000</p> <p> A dysfunctional workplace drama can only end badly, and that’s exactly what happened.</p> <p> Somehow, the people working for my boss had become a threat. Our work would have made any boss proud—innovative, game-changing, with glowing results. The problem was that it challenged the status quo within the larger organization.</p> <p> The boss was eventually replaced; one of his team leaders retired; the rest of us were assigned to other teams. Some of my responsibilities were taken away, but I was in something of a special position: my team had been the most innovative and cutting-edge with the biggest successes, and it was hard to blatantly penalize those results.</p> <p> The overall effect, however, was to make the entire organization risk averse, and the company eventually suffered because of it. Disillusioned and frustrated, I was angry that bad management had been tolerated and good people hurt.</p> <p> Like so much else, nothing was ever explained. It was swept under the rug, out of sight and ready to trip the next unsuspecting person.</p> <p> My own recovery took time. My response was just the question that author <a href="http://www.thehighcalling.org/hcb-community/work/connecting-sunday-worship-monday-work" target="_blank">Tom Nelson </a>asks in his book,<em> <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Work-Matters-Connecting-Sunday-Worship/dp/1433526670/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325457276&sr=1-1" target="_blank">Work Matters: Connecting Sunday Worship to Monday Work</a></em>: is work a four-letter word?</p> <p> The answer is no, but it is a good question to ask. Like everything else in our world, work is affected by sin. It was even part of the curse of original sin laid upon Adam—he would have to work the ground, and it would involve pain, hurt, difficulties, sweat and disillusionment.</p> <p> Understanding this was the first step in my recovery: bad management is part of the curse. Dysfunctional workplaces are not the exceptions because all workplaces are comprised of sinful, hurting people.</p> <p> The second step in my recovery was the most personally painful. I began to pray for my old boss.</p> <p> I didn’t want to pray for him; I would have been pleased to see the proverbial lightning bolt vaporize him wherever he was. But slowly and grudgingly, I began to pray. I gradually began to understand that I had allowed his broken management to become my spiritual problem, threatening to consume me. Over time, the prayers became easier. They never became easy, however.</p> <p> The third step was to understand the position I was in. I was the only Christian (as far as I know) involved in all of this. What I did and what I said mattered. My workplace is my mission field—what I do and how I do it is my vocation. I can’t leave my faith at the office door. It’s who I am and who I’m supposed to be. I bear an image in the workplace as I do everywhere else—and it’s not <em>my</em> image.</p> <p> I am part of the redemptive process in my workplace. No matter how broken things are, my work matters, especially because it and my workplace will never be perfect.</p> <p> “A perfect job or career is not only unrealistic,” Nelson writes in <em>Work Matters</em>, “it is theologically untenable. Whatever work we have been called to do will be a mixture of the good and the not so good.”</p> <p> But we are called to do it. And it is vitally important.</p> <p> </p> <p> <em>Post by Glynn Young.</em></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Glynn Young </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=KeGq2MifPwM:oMPAhPU7KFA:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=KeGq2MifPwM:oMPAhPU7KFA:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> <article> <h1>Till Money Do Us Part</h1> <p>cherylsmith — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 13:00:04 +0000</p> <p> “I can’t do this anymore!” he says through clenched teeth. His hands clutch the dark waves of hair now mixed with a hint of gray. I try swallowing the lump in my throat.</p> <p> In our nearly five and a half years of marriage, Peter has been the family CFO. It’s a title he’s wanted to relinquish many times, particularly on days when bills loomed large and paychecks had been long spent.</p> <p> “You do it, please?” he’d ask.</p> <p> So far I’d been successful at dodging the requests. My triumph saved me from the monotonous routine of paying bills, but at a cost. I didn’t realize that Peter’s repeated appeals had little to do with numbers in our bank account or due dates on the calendar. They certainly had nothing to do with his capabilities.</p> <p> He simply wanted help. By refusing, I planted seeds of resentment that were now coming to harvest. We decided to see a counselor.</p> <p> </p> <p> We sit next to each other on the sofa, but we’re careful to maintain our walls. The inches between us could just as easily be miles. Slowly and with expertise, Susan helps us unravel the knotted threads of a once beautiful tapestry. I admit my fear. I’m afraid I’ll make mistakes, overlook a bill or ruin the credit rating he’s been so diligent to protect. My track record is less than stellar.</p> <p> Susan doesn’t let me stop there. She looks right through me and asks, “What are you really afraid of?” The old lies resurface—the ones about perfection and being good enough; the ones that lead to “What if?”</p> <p> <em>What if this is the end? What if his earlier pronouncement has less to do with being CFO and more to do with marriage vows ending when things get tough?</em> I’ve been on that journey before and the path was more difficult than any I’ve known.</p> <p> I try to suppress the tears but they come anyway. Even though he’s angry with me for refusing to help, Peter reminds me that he’s totally committed to our marriage. I exhale, trying to release the build-up of anxiety that comes from months of arguing. Susan helps us navigate a plan that seems manageable. She also prescribes the simple, daily practice of expressing appreciation to one another. We try it, searching for recent moments worth repeating.</p> <p> “Peter, when you dance with me in the kitchen, I feel cherished.”</p> <p> “Cheryl, when you iron my shirts, I feel cared for.”</p> <p> The exercise feels awkward, contrived, and completely unrelated to the business of CFOs. Until last week. I did a little research after our session with Susan and we discovered a personal finance tool that meets our needs. As we prepared for our first financial coaching session, I received this note:</p> <p> <em>“Cheryl, Thank you for committing yourself to our finances. It means so much to me and I can feel the anxiety and worry slowly dissipating. I love you.”</em></p> <p> </p> <p> <strong>Join us on Wednesdays this February for the <a href="http://www.thehighcalling.org/family/i-do-belonging" target="_blank">I Do</a> series. </strong></p> <p> <em>Image by <a href="http://www.flickr.com/people/mctrent/" target="_blank">Trent McBride</a>. Used with <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/" target="_blank">permission</a>. Sourced via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/mctrent/2963705505/" target="_blank">Flickr</a>. Post by <a href="http://www.oikosliving.com/" target="_blank">Cheryl Smith</a>.</em></p> <p></p> <div class="field field-type-text field-field-author-name"> <div class="field-label">Author Name: </div> <div class="field-items"> <div class="field-item odd"> Cheryl Smith </div> </div> </div><div class="feedflare"> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=9oC2oW5VB9Q:EIV0ti8OppI:yIl2AUoC8zA"></img></a> <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheHighCallingAll?a=9oC2oW5VB9Q:EIV0ti8OppI:qj6IDK7rITs"></img></a> </div> </article> </main></body></html>