TheHighCalling.org: Professional Relationships

Male-Female Relationships in the Workplace (Bible Reflection)

Mary E. DeMuth — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:00:00 GMT

We met in another city over lunch to talk about social media. He spoke of his wife; I talked about my husband and family. Our conversation began a good professional relationship that continues.

Another business acquaintance shared dinner around a table with other professionals. He commented on how I looked, letting his eyes linger. I got that sick feeling in my stomach, making the choice to avoid this man. We've not maintained a business relationship.

In the professional world, we encounter people of the opposite sex on a daily basis. How we navigate those relationships with integrity is important. Some create strict guidelines while others avoid guidelines at all. The crux, as in everything, is to honestly seek God as we navigate our opposite sex relationships. Here are five questions to ask yourself as you evaluate your professional interactions:

1. Would I be completely at ease if my spouse saw my interaction with this person?

Thinking through how my meeting (or email interactions) would affect my spouse is a huge indicator of what I should do and how I should act. Those who are single can ask that same question of their best friend. Would he/she think my conversations or messaging with this person demonstrates integrity?

When I meet with male colleagues, I let my husband know. I tell him when I have phone meetings. A good friend of mine CCs his wife on correspondence with me, and he talks with her about me.

The apostle Paul has some wise words for every area of life, including our relationships with the opposite sex: "Only conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or remain absent, I will hear of you that you are standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel" (Phil. 1:27). Even Paul uses the "other person" test here. He tells the Philippians that he will hear of their antics, whether they're standing firm or not.

2. How does the way I interact show my belief in the equality between men and women in God's eyes?

It's important we don't shun the opposite sex out of fear, relegating ourselves to same-sex relationships for the sake of perceived propriety. Paul wrote: "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus" (Gal. 3:28). Because of Jesus' radical act on the cross, he created equity in every sector of society, including the sexes. And by his grace and integrity, we can pursue professional relationships with the opposite sex.

The workplace is typically not segregated. Neither is the church. We will best reflect the heart of God and his love for all people if we walk alongside men and women at work. I'm grateful for my male colleagues, appreciative of their perspectives. I wouldn't be where I am professionally without input from both genders.

3. Am I creating significant emotional boundaries by building into my marriage (or if I'm single, my friendships) and speaking well of my family?

The best way to maintain your integrity in your opposite-sex relationships is to keep the home fires burning. If you spend time building into your marriage or significant relationships, seeking your partner's good, choosing selflessness, your need to look elsewhere for praise and validation will wane.

The best boundary I've found is not necessarily a physical one; it's an emotional one. I feel safe when a businessman talks about his family frequently, when he praises his spouse publicly.

4. Am I keeping secrets?

Are you relishing a coworker's emails? Looking forward to a lunch break? Do you harbor feelings for someone? The painful way out is this: Walk in the light. If you're keeping secrets, something is wrong. I know it may hurt but make a choice to tell your spouse or a very good friend. If you struggle in this area, give a friend permission to ask the hard questions.

5. Have I decided on mutual boundaries with my spouse or accountability partner?

Decide together what kind of boundaries you'll both approve. Some might include: no car rides alone, quick disclosure if you feel someone's getting too close, full access to both email accounts at any time, the ability to question any attachment. It's better to go forward in your professional life with a boundary plan than to have to encounter uncomfortable situations without forethought. Plan now. And remember, that plan will actually free you to interact with integrity in all your relationships.

It is possible to have integrity in our business relationships. And as we interact well with our colleagues, we demonstrate the uncanny truth that God loves all people, male and female, that it's possible to keep business interactions pure.

Questions for Reflection:

Think about your professional interactions with the opposite sex. Would your spouse or a close Christian friend think your conversations and messages demonstrate integrity?
Read Mark Roberts' devotion on Exodus 20:14. Why do you think sexual sin is such a plague in our society?
In our interview with Lauren Winner, she says, "Sexual temptation often gets used as an excuse not to have meaningful professional relationships with the opposite sex. If the men won't have lunch with women, that promotes an old boy's network that is really bad for women in the workplace." How can you help promote fairness and equality in your workplace?
Are you facing sexual temptation in the workplace? We urge you to get help now. Talk with a trusted counselor, pastor, or Christian friend.

The Curtain Also Rises (Personal Reflection)

Dena Dyer — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 06:00:00 GMT

"Here they are—our functional family version of a popular sixties' folk-rock vocal group," announced our coworker, Linda.

My castmates Russ and Wendy Hearn, my husband Carey and I—dressed up as the "Mamas and the Papas"—stood behind the theater curtain, ready to entertain the audience with a medley of "Monday, Monday" and "California Dreamin'."

But nothing happened. The audience squirmed, we shrugged, and the curtain remained closed. As Linda struggled to come up with some witty banter about live theater and how mistakes make us seem more human, the four of us looked at one another, mouthing, "What's going on?"

A Great Team Knows How to Improvise

Russ (who's also the show's creative and musical director), and the technical crew scrambled to fix the faulty mechanism preventing the curtain from opening. T.J., another cast member, did a bit of stand-up for the crowd. Then the singers fanned out into the audience and chatted with our fans, while the concession and box office employees offered free coffee and cookies.

It was just another day at the office for Rockbox Theater, a professional Christian-owned music theater in Fredericksburg, Texas.

Rehearsing and performing with T.J., Linda, Russ, Wendy, and our bandmates—Mark, Cass, and Jacob—is never boring . . . and always rewarding. As Christians and coworkers (most of us have been together for over a decade), we thank God every day that we have jobs we love, with people we actually like. It's especially unusual to find people with small egos, servant spirits, and laidback attitudes in the entertainment business.

God has truly given us a unique situation. We've all put in time on the road as touring musicians, and being able to tuck our kids in at night is no small gift. So is the fact that we truly are a team, and we're each others' biggest fans.

Teams Celebrate Together . . . and Suffer Together

That team mentality comes in handy when curtains break—or when tragedies happen. Three years ago, one of our partners in a previous theater was killed in a motorcycle wreck on his way to Fredericksburg to scout a new location for us. Tom was a friend, mentor, and father figure.

His death left a gaping hole in our hearts and the organization. And it made us question whether we should go ahead with plans to relocate our families to the hill country. A lot of sleepless nights and worn-out knees followed Tom's untimely death,as did spiritual growth and a new maturity.

As we all listened to God's guidance, separately and corporately, we forged a new bond of friendship and unity. No more were we kids playing at jobs too fun to be considered work.

Now, we had adult decisions to make: selling homes, training cast members (some of the entertainers from our previous theater were unable to move with us), finding new residences, enrolling our children in new schools, and keeping our sense(s) of humor and sanity intact.

It wasn't easy . . . and it still isn't. But God affirmed our move every step of the way, and Rockbox Theater is now thriving. The community has overwhelmed us with support and enthusiasm, and with God's help, we've found new friends, churches, schools, and fans that bless us way more than we could ever hope to bless them.

Our workplace isn't perfect, but we're growing in Christ, and each week when the curtain rises (hopefully!), we pray that God will allow us to release His joy to the people sitting in the seats, who've carved time out of their schedules and pocketbooks to support us.

And we continue to be amazed that we get paid to have this much fun.

Questions for personal reflection, online discussion, or small groups:

Reflect on Ecclesiastes 4:12: "Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."
Who do you defend? Who are two people that you can rely on in tough times?
How healthy is the team you work with? What can you change about your actions or attitudes to help those teams function better this week?

Release Hate (Audio)

Howard E. Butt, Jr. — Sun, 11 Oct 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Justin had reason to hate. His business partner had cheated him out of years of profits. Finally, one day, sick of the hate, Justin began to forgive.

At first, he simply worked to see his former partner as a human being. Little by little, he began to release hate's grip on his mind. Each day, forgiving and forgiving again, Justin reclaimed the energy his life had lost.

This is Howard Butt, Jr., of Laity Lodge. True forgiveness is neither simple nor quick. In fact, it can be wrenching. But the only thing worse than letting go of hate and anger is letting hate and anger keep their grip on you. Justin learned that the one who loves loses the least . . . in the high calling of our daily work.

Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors. (Matt. 6:12)

Going Home at 5:00 p.m.: A Sign of Disloyalty? (Personal Reflection)

Christopher Smith — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 06:00:00 GMT

"And now," my boss said, "we come to the part about improvements you can make."

She was giving me my first job performance evaluation since I'd become a writer-editor in a government public affairs office. After a series of short-term assignments through a temporary employment agency, they'd hired me on because they liked my work. My boss's comments so far had reflected this satisfaction: she'd said I was learning the job well, that I had the skills they were looking for, and that I followed through effectively on projects. But I suspected there might be a question about my commitment.

The people in this office had developed a culture of staying late. I recognized that the particular demands of our work required this from time to time, and I'd been willing to do my part. We wrote speeches and news releases for government officials, and many of these were time-sensitive. When necessary, I'd even gone over to the legislature after hours and worked directly with members in their own offices to meet deadlines.

But I had been concerned that a tendency to work overtime could feed on itself. I'd actually heard colleagues say aloud that since they were going to be staying late anyway, they didn't need to get to some things immediately. I honestly wondered whether it wouldn't be possible to go home at 5:00 most days if I did try to get to things right away.

Going home was important to me because of a commitment I'd made to my wife when we were first married. I'd promised to make every effort to be home with her in the evening and on weekends, rather than at work. We both knew that we had to invest time in our relationship if we wanted it to grow strong and healthy. Naturally there were some times when I'd had to make exceptions. But I wanted them to remain exceptions, not to become the rule.

And so on several occasions, I'd appealed requests from my boss to work late. I'd promised to be in the office first thing the next morning so I could get projects done before their mid-day deadlines. My boss had been willing to let me try, and so far I'd been successful.

But there were many times when I had to run a gauntlet of raised eyebrows and disappointed head shakes as I walked towards the door at 5:00. Staying late actually seemed to be an unspoken measure of a person's dedication to this team, and I was creating a conspicuous exception to the office culture.

So when my boss reached the part of my performance evaluation that dealt with improvements that could be made, I was sure that this issue would come up.

It did. But not quite the way I expected.

To this point my boss had been reading from the evaluation, using it for talking points in our conversation. But now she turned it around so I could see it. The space provided for "improvements" was blank!

"What was I supposed to write there?" she asked, with a conspiratorial expression on her face. " 'He goes home'? We should all go home!" And then she handed me the paper, nodding at the box she'd checked on the bottom. It indicated a very positive overall appraisal.

I thanked her warmly for the evaluation, we exchanged knowing smiles, and I went back to work. As I headed to my desk, I thanked God for giving me a boss who had proven so supportive and understanding. I knew it had been a professional risk to challenge the corporate culture. I could imagine that in another workplace, things might not have turned out so well. But in this case, my boss had respected and affirmed the commitment I'd made to be diligent in my work but not to let it encroach on family life.

I worked in that office for another couple of years. People heard about how I'd "gone home" but hadn't been marked down because of it. As word spread, I had more and more company going down the elevator at 5:00 o'clock.

How I Learned to Listen to My Coworkers (Personal Reflection)

Keith Miller — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 06:00:00 GMT

When I decided to take my faith to the office, I would pray as I drove to work and parked my car that I would remember to be God’s representative in that oil company’s exploration office. But I was shocked to realize that when I got into my office and looked at what I had to do, I didn’t even give God a thought until I got back in my car to drive home.

Then I tried praying for people in the office after I arrived, but realized I didn’t know anything about them.

So I finally put a 3x5 card in the lap drawer of my desk with a pencil on top of the card. When anyone came into the office, I opened the lap drawer and took out the pencil, glancing at the card. I’m not sure how the message on the card was worded but in effect it said to me, “Keith pay attention to this person. I may have a message for you from them. God.”

That’s how I began to listen to people and ask them how they were. Over the next few months, something started happening. I discovered that most people had problems, pain, frustration, hopes, and dreams they didn’t usually talk about. Those sophisticated business people came in and just sort of opened themselves and let me see their inner lives. And I soon realized that there were enormous personal problems, loneliness, and searching among people in the oil exploration business.

Several years later, I had met some other Christians in the oil business through my good friend Bill Yinger (who encouraged me and helped me more than he knows). Through Bill, I was hired by another oil company and subsequently became that company’s exploration manager. One day when the vice president in charge of our office was overseas, I said silently, “Okay, Lord, I’m going to get involved with any of these people who want to pray about this business.” I didn’t think we ought to meet together on company time, but I thought, “I’ll have a meeting with them before work and maybe we can find out how to be Christian business people.”

Among the men and women in that office were a Buddhist, a Jewish fellow, all kinds of “believers,” and some who did not claim any kind of religion. But I went to their offices to invite them and, since I was a manager, they listened to me.

I said, “We’re on a pretty fast track in this business, and I’d like to pray about what’s happening and what we’re doing here together. I’m a Christian. I don’t know if you are or not, but if you’d like to pray together, I’m going to come early, at seven thirty, and have a little coffee. If you want to come, fine. If you don’t, no sweat.” That was Friday, and I said, “We’ll start Monday—for any of you who’d be interested.” (I had a conference room next to my office that would give us privacy.)

All that weekend I kicked myself all over the house. “Why’d you do that?” I said. “You’re a stupid fool!” (Not that I have any pride, you understand.) I often have what at our house we call “cringers.” For instance, sometimes I have said something at a party that seemed “real clever” at the time, but when I’ve gotten home and remembered what I had said, I would grimace and shake my head, saying, “Oh no, why did I say that?” And so I was cringing all during the weekend about having been so vulnerable at the office. What if no one came? I’d feel terrible.

But on Monday, I went in early, and of the fourteen people in that office, almost all showed up. We began to talk together and share our feelings. After a few weeks, the secretaries began to pray for the business and for the executives in our office, and the executives began to pray for the secretaries and for each other. We learned that we were all just persons who were struggling to live the best way we could in our circumstances.

After six months, people from other companies would walk in the office and say things like, “What kind of a deal do you have here? These people are sure friendly.” We didn’t necessarily say anything about Jesus to visitors; we just loved them. I kept a journal through all this time and was amazed at the way my life changed. I felt more a part of the lives of the people with whom I worked. As I listened and let them know me, I began to feel love for them. And in a way I could not understand, I felt deeply that we were not alone in that hard-driving, secular business we were building.

Questions for Reflection:

Read 1 John 4:17. “When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God, and God lives in us. That way love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us." Is your daily work a life of love?
Think about the people around you in your daily work. How can you pray for them?
Does your daily work allow the opportunity for a group devotion or prayer? What might that look like?

____________________________________________
Keith Miller was the founding director of Laity Lodge. If you'd like to subscribe to Keith's free weekly devotionals, send an email to orders@keithmiller.com.

The Only Jesus Some People See (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 06:00:00 GMT

The Longer Snapper by Jeffery Marx is about the football fortunes of Brian Kinchen. In it, Marx brings up an interesting dilemma. After his football career seemingly ended, Kinchen told his middle school Bible class that he was at their school because that's where God wanted him. Then Kinchen left the school for one more shot at glory.

One student asked, "I'm confused. Does God want him here or does God want him there?"

Kinchen's student may get her answer because she asked the question aloud, but how many others ask such questions silently and never received any insight or answer? Instead, they have to draw their own conclusions. They make up their own minds.

We must be careful about what we say concerning God's call on our lives because others are always watching. What we say and what we do need to be consistent, especially when we bring God into our statements. Maybe you've heard this tongue-in-cheek line: "Everybody's a Christian in church, but wait until they get in the parking lot and behind the wheel." We laugh but there's some truth in that.

It's important that we remember whom we represent. We belong to Christ. In many instances we're the only Jesus some people will ever see. Represent him well.

Individual Globalization (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 06:00:00 GMT

One of the great serendipities of producing TheHighCalling.org is the relationships that develop within our complex community. It’s complex because there aren’t many straight lines and the type of community is not traditional. Most of us have never met face to face. Yet we share a commonality in Christ and our belief that work is a high calling.

In The World is Flat, New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman says, “This era of globalization is spearheaded by individuals.” According to Friedman, one of the four most influential flatteners is the PC. He explains, “For the first time, individuals can author their own content in digital form. And once your content is created in digital form, it could be manipulated into so many more ways by individuals and dispatched in so many more places.“

Through the proliferation of social networks, we can see how this concept makes it easier for a person to brand themselves and their content. For TheHighCalling.org, one example of the phenomenon of individual globalization is Adelani Aderemi. Ade’s insightful comments have brought Texas and Nigeria closer together. (If not geographically or politically, then certainly in the body of Christ.)

When we first began publishing TheHighCalling.org, globalization was not a major concern. In fact, we never considered that we might form community with Christians in Nigeria. Certainly we understood the global nature of the Internet, but specific realities about global community never really sank in. Over time, we noticed the amount of traffic we were getting from Nigeria and the insightful comments of Ade. He became a part of the blog network HighCallingBlogs.com. Eventually, we asked Ade to write for us, and this fall we’ll post an article by Ade on TheHighCalling.org.

We value relationships. The connections between people form a bond. In a flat world, those bonds are easier to forge. Regardless of geographic locale, we can connect around common themes. We can connect around a common faith and a common vision.

The Right Response to Wrong Treatment (Audio)

Howard E. Butt, Jr. — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Forty-five American missionaries were arrested in a foreign country. Then they were tried, convicted, and sent to prison for sharing their Christian beliefs.

Conditions in prison were rough. Husbands were separated from wives. Parents couldn’t see their children. So while the missionaries waited on court appeals, how did they spend their time in prison? Some taught English to fellow inmates. Some took over a neglected garden and shared the fresh vegetables. In several cases, jailers became the missionaries' friends.

This is Howard Butt, Jr., of Laity Lodge. Injustice comes in many forms. Sometimes it's obvious and menacing; sometimes it just slips in. In every case, Jesus teaches us to return evil with good—in prison, at home . . . in the high calling of our daily work.

I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek , turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. (Luke 6:27-29)

Communicating the facts (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Here's a provocative article from USA Today, "Tweeting, texting render avid users 'present yet absent'" by Olivia Barker. It raises many valid points about our use or over use of technology. This was such an important article that I chose to retweet it this morning on Twitter.

The section that really caught my eye was about our potential loss of creatureliness. I'm a sucker for a good philosophical debate that has theological implications. And creatureliness definitely fits under the category of theological anthropology. An illustration in the article got my attention. It was used to illustrate the point about our loss of creatureliness. Barker used it as part of a summary statement to support a point. The illustration was effective and supported the point. However, there were minor errors in her use of the illustration.

How important is it to get all the facts right in a news article? That question hit me not because it was a grievous error by a reporter. No it was a minor error that didn't influence the story or even the illustration. Here's the illustration: "that Verizon/ESPN MVP ad in which a woman being feted at a baby shower watches college hoops highlights on her cell instead of oohing and aahing over her little-girl gifts."

The woman in the ad isn't being feted. She's a guest at the party who is "present but absent" as she checks scores on her cell phone. At one point while guests are passing baby clothes she uses one outfit as a napkin as it's passed to her.

It's nitpicking to call this an error in the report but it is and it brings to mind how experts sift through biblical documents pointing out errors of omission or inclusion. Thousands of years after the fact scholars, with their own agendas search documents imposing a modern prism on the ancient texts. If these same scholars were critiquing Ms. Barker's work in a couple of thousand years would they be arguing about her report as being flawed? Or would they say that the illustration referred to a similar incident but it couldn't be verified because there were discrepancies, which couldn't be reconciled? Maybe they would be arguing over the meaning of a baby shower?

This is important to examine because scholars always have an agenda when they examine the facts. Trying to understand the agenda is helpful in sifting the information. Reporters have an agenda and that agenda isn't always just reporting the facts. We all apply filters to what we see, say, and do.

Of course, the facts are important too. I’m not trying to encourage misinformation here. Barker accidentally fudged some details in her article, but she got the message right. It would have been better if she had gotten all of the details right too. But she didn’t. And it doesn’t really affect her article. The message remains the same.

Facts are still important. But we need to be careful. Communicating the facts takes serious dedication to getting the message right. Sometimes we focus so much on getting the facts right that we lose sight of the message.

Finding the Furious Longing of God (Personal Reflection)

Becky Garrison — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 06:00:00 GMT

"I'm Brennan. I'm an alcoholic.
I'm a Catholic.
I was a priest, but am no longer a priest.
I was a married man but am no longer a married man.
How I got to those places, why I left these places, is the story of my life.
but it is not the whole story.
I'm Brennan, a sinner saved by grace.
That is the larger and more important story.
Only God, in his fury, knows the whole of it."
— The Furious Longing of God

I first met Brennan Manning at Soularize in the Bahamas back in November 2007. In a room full of PhDs, pastors, and bloggers, this white-haired man with patchwork pants seemed small and out of place. He didn't fit in with the other attendees decked out in Bermuda shorts and fair trade T-shirts or some other form of beachwear. During this conference, I was too absorbed in my own junk to really hear Brennan's story. Also, he spent much of his time when he wasn't speaking sitting off by himself. Like me, he seemed to be all alone in a sea of people.

Even though we didn't connect in person, when I picked up his books Abba's Child and The Furious Longing for God, I felt an immediate bond with this dude, who is just as messy as me. We're both kind of raggly in our own ways.

Manning's books are not for the faint-hearted searching for a quick fix recipe for how to achieve spiritual success. This is not the simple story of a former Franciscan priest who had a drinking problem but then sobered up when he found God and went on to achieve even greater glory for God.

Rather, Manning confessed of a life that drove him onto the streets with nothing to his name except God's love. But instead of wallowing in the pains and problems of his life, Brennan talks about how God's love literally saved him. This "love" wasn't mere fuzzy sentimentality but rather an expression of God's deep desire to know and love us fully and that includes those dark parts of ourselves we keep hidden from the world.

His stark honesty as he bore his scar tissue of his life brought tears to my eyes. I wasn't expecting a book to connect with me on such a visceral level. Through Brennan's story, I saw how I had veered off the path. For all of my talk about how we need to put the Greatest Commandment into practice, I wasn't exactly practicing what I preach. During the past year, I had been focused so much on trying to "do good" and "help people" that I had failed to love them just as they are. When several people let me down, my anger got the better of me and some things came out of my mouth and pen that were more critical than Christlike.

God longs to connect with me. In order for me to connect with God, I must also connect with others in love. During Lent, I took a fast from Facebook and limited my interactions with blogs and the Internet in general. This online fast gave me the opportunity to reflect on how quickly a simple disagreement can erupt into a full scale blog war, where we go from critiquing others to slamming their souls. After detangling myself from a rather messy series of email exchanges, I concluded that I will use emails more to relay information and that I need to resolve conflicts face-to-face or over the telephone. These moves have put me in a place where I find I am more able to receive and give love to my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.

As Brennan reminds us:

The outstretched arms of Jesus exclude no one, not the drunk in the doorway, the panhandler on the street, gays and lesbians in their isolation, the most selfish and ungrateful in their cocoons, the most unjust of employers and the most overweening of snobs. The love of Christ embraces all without exception.

May I never forget that message.

When the Wheels Come Off (Personal Reflection)

Donna VanLiere — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 06:00:00 GMT

I grew up in the '70s and '80s when parents still told their kids to go outside and play. My friends and I would spend all day in the yard. When we got hot and sweaty enough, we'd run to the back patio, open the water spigot on the side of the house, and get down on our hands and knees so we could get low enough to turn our mouths up for a drink of water that splashed all over our faces and down our necks. In the evenings, I remember seeing my parents shaking their heads as they watched the oil crisis in the 1970s unfold on the nightly news. Gas prices skyrocketed to 73 cents a gallon! "Turn it off," my mother would say to my dad. "Good grief! The wheel's are coming off, but they make it sound like the world's ending."

Like me as a child, you probably hoped for a life that would exceed your dreams; but as those dreams collapsed along the way, you've simply wished for a soft wing of hope but instead have gotten life in a culture of ungrace. That's not a word, but it should be. If you don't know what ungrace is, just listen to most people who didn't vote for any sitting president, watch how fast Hollywood turns on a star who no longer sells at the box office, or turn on the news anytime during the day. Ungrace pulsates in our workplaces, communities, and in the media and tells us that regardless of what has happened, we must do better, look better, and make ourselves better. But to love and accept someone regardless of their flaws and failures is a breath of hope in a world that turns more upside down than right side up. That is the gift of grace. It's being dirty and smelly and turning your face up under the spigot. Sometimes the wheels need to come off—you need to get pretty low before you appreciate grace.

The wheels are coming off for my friend Lisa. She's the owner of a beautiful clothing store for women. She's put her heart and soul into the store, but then the economy tanked and people ran scared (even those who still had jobs and owned their homes). Trouble is, she did everything right: paid her mortgage, creditors, and bills on time . . . so she doesn't qualify for help.

The wheels are coming off for my friend Jacob. When he took his vows, he never envisioned this animosity, anger, or separation.

The wheels are coming off for my friend Gerri. She finished chemotherapy and is beginning nine weeks of radiation for breast cancer. It wasn't her dream, but she's added it to her daily schedule: go to work, get groceries, go to hospital for radiation, do laundry, make dinner.

When we plan our lives, no one ever says, "When I grow up, I want to get a divorce, maybe two!" Or, "When I grow up, I want to lose my house, my business, and my life savings!" Broken dreams are never part of anyone's plan. We tie our plans up with ribbons and bows and aim for the mountaintop but end up in the valley.

In Finding Grace (St. Martin's Press, March 2009), I relate a story of walking with my second grade class to the library when a sixth grader spit on me. He didn't intend to spit on me, but I was fortunate enough to be the one to pass at that exact moment. My teacher, Mrs. Brewer, cleaned me up, but when I looked down at my maroon polyester blend turtleneck, I could see the white tissue particles clinging to where the snot had been. "He blindsided you," Mrs. Brewer said. "That's how it goes sometimes."

At some point, life blindsides us with something far greater than a giant loogie. The diagnosis, abuse, foreclosure, broken marriage, death, or financial collapse brings us to our knees. Though we try to clean ourselves up the best we know how, we're still left with the stain of it all. "That's how it goes sometimes." True. But isn't there more? The beauty of grace says "yes." There's more love after the infidelity, more joy after the diagnosis, and more life after the financial ruin. Chris Gardner, the bestselling author of The Pursuit of Happyness was once asked how he and his son were able to overcome the shame of homelessness. Gardner said, "We were homeless, not hopeless!" Chris knew he was living on the streets, but he was still living. That's grace.

Grace is always present and always near, but it's easy to miss—things aren't always as they appear. I just returned from Winnipeg where The Christmas Hope is being filmed in a house. In previous months, the homeowner fell off a ladder and broke several ribs. During x-rays, it was discovered that he had cancer. That break-up, closed door to a job, or fall from a ladder may not be as devastating as you think but an act of grace that will save your life and help you discover higher dreams.

In a country of excess, we suffer from a deficit of grace. In the last few months, I've watched two stories on the news of men losing their jobs and then killing their entire families and themselves. In another story, a man lost his job after twenty years. "It's heart wrenching," he said. "But I still have my family and we're all together." That's the hope of grace speaking, and it beats the alternative any day.

Last week, my friend Lisa liquidated merchandise and said, "It kills me to close this store, but I know God still has a plan for me." That's grace at the end of a shattered dream.

My friend Miriam's husband was devastated over their loss of money in the stock market. "How much do we have left?" she asked. Embracing and recognizing what is left is grace at the end of an economically depressed rope. There is life-altering power in that.

I once attended several Alcoholics Anonymous meetings for research. A man said, "I was a drunk for fifteen years. I lost my wife and son because she couldn't take it anymore. One day I woke up and said, ‘What the hell am I doing? I need to live.' " For fifteen years, the noise of his life drowned out the voice that said he was worthy, needed, and loved, but then came the day that he finally heard it. That wake-up call to life is a gift from God. With what strength that man had left, he turned his face up toward that spigot of grace and let it splash all over him.

Finding grace in a culture of ungrace seems an impossible task. But

How Important Are Relationships? (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 06:00:00 GMT

L. L. Barkat’s article, “Personal Business," got my attention. It’s about personal information in emails at work contrasted with a doctor’s personal concern for his patients. L. L. reminded me about the importance of relationships and how often we overlook that importance in the workplace. Somehow we think relationships are a soft subject that has no place at work. Work is about work, and anything personal should be left at the door.

So let’s talk about a hard subject. Maximum security prisons are all about hard time. For the last twenty years or more, I’ve carried with me the images from a TIME article about these prisons titled "Living on Death Row" (unfortunately, the images aren't available online). The photos from death row showed inmates holding mirrors outside the cells trying to connect with other inmates. Another photo showed inmates using hand signals to communicate with prisoners they couldn’t see. What struck me was the desperate need to connect with others.

Sunday on 60 Minutes, I saw a report on a "supermax" federal prison. It is the federal government’s prison for the most notorious and violent criminals. A former warden refers to it as “a clean version of hell.” The worst part of being incarcerated at a supermax is the limited contact prisoners have with other people. Visitation is highly restricted. They receive only one fifteen-minute phone call per month. Even letters are restricted to approved senders.

A former inmate described his incarceration at supermax like this: “The connection to the outside, the phone calls to the outside, are pretty much stopped.” When asked about the brutality of isolation he replied, “It breaks down the human spirit, the human psyche. It breaks your mind.”

It seems obvious that we are meant for relationship with others. It’s a deep need within us. Yet we leave the action of building healthy relationships to chance. There is a treatise that we can consult. It’s Matthew 5. The entire chapter is an illustration of how we should live out healthy relationships. Our emotional intelligence requires it. The idea of emotional intelligence originated in the work of Peter Salovey of Yale and John Mayer. Then Daniel Goleman summarized the idea for a general audience in his book Emotional Intelligence.

Let’s think more deeply about everyday relationships and how we should respond appropriately. Take a look at these articles about being transparent with your coworkers to understand what appropriate working relationships can look like.

On a related side note, L. L. deserves some congrats this week! Last night she finished the manuscript for her next book as she explains in this blog post to her editor at Intervarsity Press. I'm sure meeting that deadline will be good for that relationship.

Personal Business (Bible Reflection)

L. L. Barkat — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Is it okay to use business hours to email coworkers about personal things? I have a friend who's decided it is not okay. I don't know the details about the decision; maybe things were getting out of hand, and work was taking a back seat to what felt like play. But it makes me think about my new general practitioner.

Most doctors have you fill out a tedious form outlining your physical history. The nurse hands you the form. You dutifully fill it in and hand it back to her. The doctor reads it when you're not looking. But all he really knows about you is what's written on the form.

Recently, I went to a doctor who took a noticeably different approach. Before the physical exam, he sat with me for a long time, asking all sorts of questions I could have just as easily penned answers to on a form. Okay, the question about my hobbies probably wouldn't have been on the form; he was interested that I'm learning to play piano and cello. He took down the name of my book, and we had a very amusing conversation about one of the reasons I was privileged to write that book (I have 18 siblings—steps, halves, and otherwise—but that's a story in itself). We talked about the kinds of exercise I do. Oh, and that turned out to be unexpectedly important, as he had a theory that one exercise I'm doing might be aggravating my leg.

The book of Ezra reminds me of my friend's email decision, and it reminds me of my new doctor. Not long ago, I wrote in my journal, “Why is the book of Ezra in the Bible?” Usually when I ask myself a question, I try to be cordial and attempt to answer. In the case of Ezra, I decided that (issues of divine intent and inspiration aside) it's in the Bible because it's history—the personal history of Israel. At least three of the chapters out of 10 contain lists of names . . . of people who strayed, of people who agreed to make a journey home.

Ezra records that when the foundation of the temple was laid, “people could not distinguish the sound of the joyful shout from the sound of the people's weeping” (3:3). We hear not only about these emotions but also about fear, when “the people of the land discouraged the people of Judah, and made them afraid to build . . .” (4:4). Against the backdrop of all this history, we see business. Letters to and from the king and governor, exchange of goods like salt and silver, the appointment of magistrates and judges. And through it all, the hand of God quietly moving in halls of human power.

In its way, the book of Ezra is like my new doctor. Before talking salt and silver, it talks joy and tears, frailties and hopes. It weaves personal history with the execution of a major building project. Ezra suggests that maybe it's okay for my friend to talk about kids, music, or the latest cool fiction-read in a business email. Besides, “Researchers at IBM Research and MIT's Sloan School of Management [just] found that the average email contact was worth $948 in revenue.” (See Putting a Price on Social Connections.) Did those emails talk piano, cello, books, or 18 siblings? Maybe, maybe not. But my doctor, and the book of Ezra, suggest it might not have been such a bad idea.

-----------------------------------

L. L. Barkat is the author of Stone Crossings. Her blog SeedlingsInStone.blogspot.com is a member site of HighCallingBlogs.com.

Who Is Going to Do the Work? (Wisdom from Howard E. Butt, Jr.)

Howard Butt, Jr. — Sat, 20 Jun 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Andrew Carnegie was a fabulous little Scotsman. He started in poverty and built one of the world's greatest business empires. Once, someone asked him what he believed about the future of his businesses.

He said, "You can take from me all my plants. You can take from me all my money. You can take from me all my equipment. But if you leave me my men, I will build it all again." Carnegie's genius was that he knew an organization is not finances or techniques or equipment. It is human resources.

God's method is always a person. When God chose to speak to human history decisively, to get under the load of human weakness and sin, his method was a person, Jesus Christ, God in flesh and blood.

But the principle of incarnation was not just used during the lifetime of Jesus on earth. It is the principle by which the church operates today. The church is the body of Jesus Christ. God works through flesh and blood, men and women who are committed to his cause. This is the reason that the laity is called today to be God's people wherever they are, whatever they are doing.

One of the critics of Abraham Lincoln's administration of the Civil War once said, "Mr. Lincoln you must throw General McClellan overboard." Lincoln asked who he should put in General McClellan's place, and the critic said, "Anybody." Lincoln coolly replied, "Anybody will do for you. But I must have somebody."

Who is going to do the work of Jesus Christ in deed and in word? You might say that anybody can do it. No, my friend, God must have somebody.

And God intends that somebody be you and me.

The Power of Story (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Here’s an idea. Have some fun looking at the people you work with on a daily basis and thinking about them in terms of common themes found in literature. View them from a story perspective. It’s a fun exercise that can provide fresh insights into your relationships with your coworkers. It may help you better understand them. It may help you better understand how you view others. Either way, it can improve the way you communicate with the people around you.

Start with these five common themes from literature: alienation, coming of age, justice, love, and death.

Alienation is being isolated or apart from the group. Do you work with someone who is alienated? Typical characters of alienation are Clint Eastwood in most of his westerns or in Dirty Harry as Harry Callahan, James Dean in Giant and Rebel Without a Cause, Denzel Washington in The Manchurian Candidate and American Gangster. In each of these examples from the movies, the characters are misunderstood outsiders who have decent hearts.

Coming of age stories such as Tom Sawyer, Harry Potter, and Jane Eyre are about young people growing up and coming to terms with adulthood. You can also think about the coming of age story as a loss of innocence when naïve outlook or idealism fall away. This is the case with Michael Corleone in The Godfather. Although Michael Corleone is an adult coming home from the war, he is still facing the cruel realities of his family for perhaps the first time.

Justice themes may include economic or social justice such as A Christmas Carol, Eight Men Out, The Invisible Man, or The Milagro Beanfield War. These stories contain deep moral principles and often have religious significance.

Love is an interesting theme because it is so multifaceted, even more than justice. There is romantic love like Romeo and Juliet; or family love such as Little Women, Great Expectations, and The Brothers Karamazov. Then there is brotherly love or friendship like Band of Brothers, Shawshank Redemption, and Of Mice and Men.

Journey is another theme with different variations. There are literal journeys like Around the World in Eighty Days or Journey to the Center of the Earth. Then there are journeys through time like The Time Machine or Back to the Future. Also there are journeys through life such as Long Day's Journey into Night. Often, stories with a strong journey theme will combine literal and metaphoric journeys. For example, The Grapes of Wrath combines a literal journey to California with emotional and spiritual journeys.

Everyone around us has a story. Telling the stories of the people we work with can help us develop a deeper understanding and appreciation for their lives. In the process, we may find that their lives have had a significant influence on our lives.

In my next post, I'll provide an example of this by telling you the story of Katie's journey.

Small Business and Social Media (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 06:00:00 GMT

I came across an interesting article this morning and wanted to share it with you. "Small Businesses Get Social" outlines how small businesses are using social media. Most of what I’ve seen written concerns large corporations and how they’re incorporating social media into their marketing plans. Here’s an article referencing a study of more than 260,000 small businesses.

Professional social networking sites such as LinkedIn haven’t been a focus of this blog. I’ve written mostly about general social networking sites. Another area I’ve given almost no attention to is wikis. These are powerful tools with tremendous potential. And it’s not just about Wikipedia either.

Take an area of expertise that you or your company is engaged in and ask if there might be an advantage to be gained through opening a wiki? Can shared experience and expertise help grow your business? If you think it can then perhaps a wiki is for you. Here are a few links to wikis that may illustrate how you can use or build your own wiki. Gospel Translations, wikiHow, and Wikispaces are just three examples that might help you see the power of wikis.

Professional social networking provides contacts with business associates through user-defined criteria. Wikis help us to gain and share knowledge. Social media is an effective tool if managed properly and it's just in its infancy. The future will connect us in new and effective ways defined by our needs. It's worth developing a strategy to engage it effectively.

Locking Arms (Audio)

Howard E. Butt, Jr. — Sun, 10 May 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Auburn University football chaplain Chette Williams named his memoir Hard Fighting Soldier. In it, he describes the battle style of Roman soldiers. Their armor had hooks. In battle, the soldiers literally hooked themselves to one another. So each warrior fought for an entire line of warriors. A wounded soldier was pulled through by the fighters on either side. Inspired by this, the Auburn football team began to enter the field arm-in-arm.

This is Howard Butt, Jr., of Laity Lodge. In Christ, we also wear armor with hooks. In the spirit, we can attach to great strength on either side. Each time we enter the field, let us hold that mental picture of godly support . . . in the high calling of our daily work.

Endure hardship with us like a good soldier of Christ Jesus. (2 Tim. 2:3)

Building Community, A Lesson Learned (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Thu, 07 May 2009 06:00:00 GMT

In my second year out of college, I coached a junior varsity football team. They taught me quite a bit about community. One day, the captain of the team came to me with a list of players who had broken team rules. They had been drinking at a party. We had a zero-tolerance policy at the time, and every player was fully aware of the consequences. So we dismissed twelve players, including nine starters, from the team.

The next week of practice was a challenge. We plugged in new starters and tried to focus the attention of the remaining players. The varsity head coach came to me late in the week to talk about the upcoming game. He said, “Don’t get too down about this, Dan. Last year, as freshmen, our guys lost to this team 36-0.” That was a pep talk I didn’t need. But I knew he was just trying to prepare me for a difficult game and a difficult season.

During the game, the guys remained focused and kept the game close. We were losing 8-0 in the final minute when our opponent decided to take a safety and get a free kick from their twenty-yard line. That gave us two points. This really energized our team who proceeded to take the free kick and run it back deep into the opponent’s end of the field. On the final play of the game, we scored a touchdown! Although we missed the extra point, the game ended in a tie.

On the bus, I told the team I was glad we missed the extra point, and the game ended in a tie. “We can learn more from a tie than a win here. Everyone counted us out of this game. No one believed, except the guys on this bus. It may not be a win on the scoreboard, but you guys came together and overcame the odds to tie this game. You are winners.”

I didn’t have the understanding of community then that I have now, but that group of young men taught me about community. When I think back at their achievement, I shake my head at what that group did together. I’m thankful that I was part of it, and I learned that a group pulling together for one common goal can overcome obstacles to achieve great things.

For me, sports have always served as a point of reflection when thinking about community. Team sports provide plenty of examples, both healthy and unhealthy.

Unhealthy stuff causes division in community. Flaunting team rules; taunting teammates; being unfocused, undisciplined, and self-centered are unhealthy actions that cause fissures in the bond among teammates.

Healthy community stems from trust. Encouraging teammates, respecting the team, and being dependable are the disciplines of healthy community.

Jesus says, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another" (John 13:34). The epistles repeat this theme from Romans through the Second Letter of John. Follow this link to see a list of verses where this is repeated.

So as we build community, we look to love one another. That’s what healthy communities do.

NOTE: This post is part of the May WILF project . Robert Hruzek hosts the WILF (What I Learned From) writing challenge for bloggers each month. Many of the posts come from the High Calling Blogs Network where Robert is an active member. This month, Robert challenged us to write on what we learned from community.

Selling Your Ideas (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Mon, 04 May 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Our relationships at work are often equivalent to customer relations or a sales opportunity. Let me explain. First, we have a great idea at work. We know it makes perfect sense for the company. We’re convinced that everybody should embrace it enthusiastically. They should embrace the idea and run with it. Then nothing happens. Nobody runs with it. Maybe some people will acknowledge that it’s a good idea and if they had more time they’d consider it.

Discouragement can set in quickly. Why didn’t anybody follow through with this idea? It was obviously helpful and on target for the whole group but nobody did anything with it.

There is a simple reason why nobody embraced the idea. People look for what makes things easier for them, or makes them look better to others. My friend Steve says it, “How can we make them the hero?” Self-interest isn’t necessarily bad, even David asked about the reward before he fought Goliath.

So our task with coworkers is to find ways to make them heroes. We’ll sell them on our ideas by considering how it will benefit them. Ideas are great and very helpful, but putting others first is even greater. When we consider others first we accomplish many things. It’s good customer relations. We can sell our ideas easier. People realize we’re for them and not trying to make their lives more difficult. Our relationships are strengthened. It also is faith building. We put into practice what Jesus tells us about serving one another in love.

A Coworkers Gift (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Right out of the blue, it caught me by surprise. One of my coworkers presented me with a gift. It all stemmed from a conversation a few of us were having in the office about Disney and our favorite characters. I remarked that Figment was my favorite, and I was disappointed that Figment was no longer available. A coworker said she had Figment at home in a closet. That was it. Except for the part where I always follow any mention of Figment by saying, “Every good idea starts with a figment of our imagination.”

After a couple of weeks, that conversation was long forgotten. So I was definitely surprised when Jessica showed up offering Figment as a gift. She obviously understood that this silly character meant something to me.

I remember vividly the ride at Epcot where the Dreamfinder introduced us to Figment. Creativity and imagination were high on my list as we prepared for a summer of fun at Laity Lodge Youth Camp. I purchased magnet clips with the image of Figment on them. These were for the leadership staff of the camps. These would serve as a reminder to be creative and allow our imaginations to create a memorable summer for each camper.

Figment should serve as a mascot for entrepreneurs reminding them of the small spark of creativity that launches each new endeavor. Or maybe teachers and youth workers should adopt Figment because of the creativity necessary to connect with children and engage them in their world. Scientists and artists could use Figment to stimulate their imaginations.

There was another reason Figment sticks so vividly in my mind. It was twenty-one years ago. I remember that exact time because it was three weeks before our daughter, Lindsey, was born. So thank you, Jessica, for the gift. And this kind gesture of a coworker carries with it much more than the giver ever imagined.

After Some Flailing (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 06:00:00 GMT

It was quite a sight. I didn’t actually see it. So I have to imagine what it looked like. Here was this guy in the middle of the Guadalupe River with a board and a paddle flailing away trying to either get on the board or swim the board to shore. Neither option was going well. At least the guy was wearing a life vest, although it was bobbing up behind the guy’s head making this desperate swim scene even funnier.

In the middle of the struggle, a loudspeaker clicked on. It came from a bridge behind the swimmer. Then the voice of a police officer said, “Are you okay?” The loudspeaker reverberated down the river valley.

After some more flailing, the swimmer eventually turned toward the officer, waved and yelled, “I’m okay. Thank you.” Then he proceeded to swim in place for awhile before making actual progress to shore. All this flailing by the guy in the water was rather comical.

Wisely, the police officer stayed on the bridge to watch the swimmer maneuver to a small island and get back on his board. The officer continued to watch until the swimmer, now paddler, got his board safely to the main bank of the river.

The point of this post is to illustrate the high calling of a police officer. They’re sworn to serve and protect. This officer was doing his job quite well and illustrating how we should care for one another. It would’ve been easy for the officer to just drive off, especially when the guy in the water said he was okay.

Oh, one more thing. I didn’t really see this, because I was too busy flailing away in the water trying to get my board to shore. I wanted to thank the officer for his concern for my safety. I just hope he didn’t video it. I keep checking YouTube.

Professional Relationships (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Relationships are at the heart of what we do in our organization. Whether it’s at Laity Lodge, Laity Lodge Youth Camp, Family Camp, or Free Camps, the experience is about relationships. This holds true in our offices, and it is what we try to convey through TheHighCalling.org. So when I took a day trip out of the office, I was a bit overwhelmed by the experience.

A group of former campers and staffers from Laity Lodge Youth Camp meet every Thursday in Austin for lunch. This close-knit group has sustained a bond that they created twenty years ago. It’s amazing. Their lives are very busy with work and family responsibilities, but they take time to connect with each other over lunch.

They also connect on Facebook where their group has three hundred seventy members. These members are scattered throughout the country now, but they know that they’re welcome anytime they’re in Austin on a Thursday afternoon. Lunch with friends is always an option. The group will embrace them warmly. When I went last week, the conversation flowed naturally like we were all still at camp and the lunch bell just rang.

What an amazing group of grounded people. Many of them have faced considerable adversity and risen above it. They are sustained by their faith in Christ. It’s a confident, humble faith. It’s not boisterous or anxious. Just being around these folks for a couple of hours renews my faith. They live the high calling of our daily work. I was deeply honored to be in their presence and to break bread with them. It was a sacramental moment.

Proverbs (Audio)

Howard E. Butt, Jr. — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 06:00:00 GMT

I love the book of Proverbs with its 31 chapters . . . perfect for reading a chapter a day, month after month, year after year. This mighty collection of small sayings never fails to yield rich wisdom—much of it about our workdays.

Just listen: A man of understanding holds his tongue. A gossip betrays a confidence. A trustworthy person keeps a secret.

This is Howard Butt, Jr., of Laity Lodge. Few things can take down an office, destroy a team, or erode a reputation like loose talk. When a coworker shows off . . . or someone flirts . . . or a manager hurts your feelings . . . just breathe deeply and hold your proverbial tongue . . . in the high calling of our daily work.

Transitioning Into a Ministry of Presence (Personal Reflection)

Becky Garrison — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Despite a divorce and a series of other setbacks, Rosalie Grafe was bursting with joy. We interact via Facebook, and I was struck by how her centered presence always seemed to calm me down. As someone who had just lost several close friends, I asked how she navigated through her transitions and ended up in such a positive place.

In the wake of her divorce and the sudden death of her 18-year-old granddaughter, Rosalie went on a pilgrimage to the monastery of the Community of Northumbria and the pilgrim path to St. Cuthbert’s Cave in northeast England. She had connected with the Community through reading Celtic Daily Prayer: Prayers and Readings from the Northumbria Community. During her week at Northumbria and with her stays at St. Aidan and St. Hild on Holy Island, the Convent of the Holy Paraclete in Whitby, and Bar Convent in York, Rosalie discovered a regular rhythm of life that helped her to focus her energies on where she should be heading next.

Upon returning to Portland, Oregon, she continued a virtual connection with the Community of Northumbria through their website. Also, she connected in real time as a Companion of the Celtic Community, Way of Columba at Saints Peter and Paul’s, a lay monastic community based in East Portland, Oregon. These two prayer groups provide the online and offline connections that keep her grounded.

Rosalie found herself reflecting on Ananais, who was plucked by God from his home to go and aid Saul (Acts 9:10-11, 17). The story kept speaking to her heart. Like Ananais, she realized she was not called to the solitary life of a hermit. After some prayer, she set up her home as a respite for fellow wandering pilgrims. She named this individual retreat house Quaker Abbey as a reminder of the still silence that she found during her work with the Friends Community. As arthritis and a shrinking retirement budget narrowed her ability to offer hospitality, she set up Quaker Abbey Press, which enables her to do very small print runs of books. This ministry allowed her to give a voice to those writers whose work she wants to illuminate.

Even though these home-based ministries occupied much of her time, she continued to feel a call to help others. But rather than wait for a church or nonprofit to give her something to do, she simply went where her heart told her she was needed.

An evangelical Friend (Quaker) since 1971, she returned to active membership with Portland’s Reedwood Friends Church. During her marriage to an Episcopalian, she had become an active chaperone and support to the youth minister at the Grafe family church in southeast Portland, a role she continues to this day. She watched as nine-year-old acolytes-in-training matured, joined the thriving youth group and then graduated as young adults. Of all that she had accomplished, she counts as most significant the humble service of being a female chaperone for the youth group at almost all the single, male youth minister’s events. She calls this being “a butt in a chair.” In the highly charged legal cases faced by a number of denominations, the role of the chaperone is vital. She continues with both churches and calls herself a "Quakepalian."

I began reflecting on how many Rosalies I’ve met in my life, who smiled at me when I thought I was going to crack up. How do we encourage and nurture these everyday saints who despite their bumps and bruises continue to shine forth proclaiming the love of Christ? Their stories give me hope that I can get through this difficult time with God’s help.

Rosalie illustrates how we need others around us to be our support system to help us navigate through our transitions. While I would prefer to connect with people face-to-face, Rosalie has taught me how one can maintain an online support system as well. So, even if we may feel isolated in our cubicle or home office, we have one more reminder that we are not truly alone.

Why Is It Social Media? (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 06:00:00 GMT

The hottest topic on the Internet today is social media. Connecting with friends, family, colleagues, costumers, retailers, and on the list goes. It’s highly interactive involving all types of media such as photos, videos, written word, music, and games. This list isn’t all-inclusive, but it does serve to illustrate the breadth of media involved in social media.

There is an interesting race going on to see who can control the biggest piece of social media. Facebook appears to have a significant, if not the leading role, in this race. Twitter is coming up fast. Some people even see it as competition for Google. LinkedIn, Friend to Friend, MySpace are all there along with many others. The motivation for the race is riches and fame. The dominant players stand to make a fortune, whether they are organizations or individuals. Business users and others can’t afford to sit on the sidelines for too long to see what shakes out.

It's the wild, wild west on the Internet. All kinds of people are jumping in to use these services without any plan. Now it’s fine for individuals to stick their toes in to test the waters. But we’ve seen or heard some horror stories. Earlier adopters sometimes dive in and find that inappropriate posts have cost them their jobs.

So how does a person of faith respond to these challenges? With all the risks and the speed of change, it’s easy to strike out in the wrong direction.

The first step is simple. Pray. I'm not talking about praying one time and rushing off to social media glory. Whatever we're doing, we need regular, focused time to articulate our plans and concerns to God. Then we wait on God’s response. Listening to God requires discernment, the ability to choose faithfully among several options. We might call discernment the outcome of prayerful reflection.

No matter how much we pray, we are going to face the challenges inherent in the medium. It’s called social media. When people communicate with other people, they are being social. But there is a deeper implication than that. Social communication suggests relationship. Whenever we enter a relationship, no matter how shallow or brief, we’d be wise to remember to “serve one another in love.”

This is a critical imperative for Christians. Social media is a wide-open communications tool. How it is used now and in the future is yet to be determined. By being active, caring, and respectful, we can help shape the development of this new tool so that it is helpful and uplifting. It’s up to us.

White Christmas Tree (Audio)

Howard E. Butt, Jr. — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Madeline wanted something unusual. The four-year-old repeatedly asked for "a white Christmas tree." She’d say: why QUIZ-mee twee. "Maybe next Christmas," her parents said, "they’d see about a white Christmas tree."

For months, Madeline persisted. She wanted a why QUIZ-mee twee. And one day she dragged her dad to the pantry and pointed . . . to a Rice Krispie treat!

Ah, the good ol’ communication breakdown! The speaker believes she’s perfectly clear—but she’s fixated on her wants. The listener hears something else entirely.

This is Howard Butt, Jr., of Laity Lodge. Don’t assume you’re understood. We all must consider not just what we are saying, but what our listeners may be hearing . . . in the high calling of our daily work.

Think Outside the Wheelchair (Audio)

Howard E. Butt, Jr. — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 06:00:00 GMT

The University of Hawaii has a graduate assistant football coach who can’t move or speak on his own. Brian Kajiyama has cerebral palsy. He buzzes the field in a motorized wheelchair. He speaks with a computer-assisted device.

Brian joined the coaching staff after defensive line coach Jeff Reinebold took the time to get to know him. Brian is sharp about football. He inspires the team with a clear mind, hard work, and good humor.

This is Howard Butt, Jr., of Laity Lodge. Brian thinks outside his wheelchair. Coach Reinebold thinks beyond the obvious. And across the nation, children in wheelchairs think they can do more—because of the example of two good men—in the high calling of our daily work.

For as [a man] thinks in his heart, so is he. (Prov. 23:7, NKJV)

Champions Are Made in Practice (Audio)

Howard E. Butt, Jr. — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 06:00:00 GMT

Nine-year-old Casey Stokes, like his namesake, loves baseball. Already it's taught him the rewards of hard work. Casey’s team was headed for the Little League World Series when his aunt asked him a question.

She said, “Casey, if you were building a team and you had to choose between a talented player who worked hard sometimes and an average player who always worked hard, who would you choose?”

Casey hardly paused. He said, “The average player—because champions are made in practice.”

This is Howard Butt, Jr., of Laity Lodge. This nine-year-old has already scored with an all-important life lesson: champions are made in practice . . . in the high calling of our daily work.

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. (1 Cor. 9:25)

Be Authentic About Your Work (Bible Reflection)

Bradley Moore — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 06:00:00 GMT

One Sunday morning while attending a church in the suburbs of Boston, I had a surprisingly authentic moment with a complete stranger. It was that point early in the service when we turn to the person next to us, introduce ourselves, say hello, and try to be a little friendly.

So on this particular Sunday I turned to the woman sitting next to me, and I immediately recognized her. She was a local rock star in the Boston area. I had heard her on the radio a few times, and I told her that I knew of her music.

She thought that was cool.

”So how are you doing?” I asked kind of casually. We only had two minutes before the pastor would tell us to sit down, and I wasn’t trying to be nosy. But I’ll never forget her response.

Rather than glamorizing her life as a well-known, critically acclaimed musician, she looked me squarely in the eyes. “I’m a single mother trying to make a living as a musician,” she said.

We stood there in silence while the white noise of the congregation’s trite exchanges swirled around us like an audible blur. Then, she said, "Really, I’m just hanging on by the hem of His garment."

That sounded so beautiful and sad at the same time. I pictured this woman with her guitar strapped over her shoulder, one arm reaching up, hanging on for dear life to the hem of Jesus’ robe as he floats randomly through the sky, her other arm pulling along her little girl who is gripping Mom’s wrist with both hands, desperately hoping that she doesn’t slip off. I wanted to help her somehow.

Maybe she was thinking about the story of the woman in the gospel who was suffering from a bleeding condition for all those years. You can read it in Matthew 5. She pushed her way through a huge crowd to touch Jesus’ robe because she knew he could heal her.

Imagine this. Jesus is walking down the street, mobbed by people all around him, like chaotic paparazzi following his every move. This woman keeps pushing, persisting, getting bruised from being kicked and shoved as she presses through the crowd. Finally she gets close enough and desperately grabs out for him.

And then Jesus says, "Who touched me?"

The disciples are trying to be good bodyguards, and they say, "What are you talking about? Everyone touched you! You’re in a huge mosh pit of people trying to get a piece of you!"

But Jesus knew some kind of power went out of him. He stops walking. He turns around. Everyone stops. What is he doing? Something is going to happen. He sees the woman, focuses on her, and tells her she’s healed.

The woman sitting next to me in church that morning just wanted the same attention. She wanted to push through the crowds, the noise, the pressures, and have Jesus pick her out. She desperately wanted him to see her pain, to notice her cries, to stop the bleeding. She’s hanging on by the hem of his garment.

And it’s a beautiful way to describe the chaos, the pressures, the barely-making-ends-meet periods we all go through in life. We question how we got here, how it all ended up like this. We plead with Jesus to save us from these wretched conditions, and sometimes it seems like he is walking past us or floating away, randomly pushed along by the masses of needs in the world other than our own. But we reach out to grab him—and all we catch is the hem of his garment. We clutch on to it for dear life and won’t let go until he takes notice.

This woman’s act of transparency gave me permission to tell her that I was struggling too. We all are. I have grown to appreciate people who are not afraid to be raw and realistic about the challenges and disappointments they are experiencing. Their openness gives others permission to be real and transparent too.

I don’t know how else we can expect to develop true relationships.

Community (Ramblin' Dan)

Dan Roloff — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 06:00:00 GMT

I’m fortunate. I know it. Not everybody gets to gather with their entire office on a weekly basis for a devotion, discussion, and prayer. Because of the nature of our work, we come together in this way every Tuesday.

This past Tuesday, only a dozen people were present. That's just a third of our office staff. The devotion, led by Marcus, was on community. He began by asking us what the word "community" means. People replied, “Being in relationship, having a common purpose, listening to one another, and caring about each other.”

The smaller group was nice. It made it easier to share our thoughts more openly. Of course, it made me think about the wisdom of having a small group of twelve. Someone made the comment, “God made us for relationship with others.” True, but even Jesus had his core group in whom he confided.

Small groups of people share with one another. They reflect on what they believe. They encourage and challenge each other. They hold each other accountable.

There is a danger when small groups become insular and self-absorbed. Cults form and become destructive when they separate themselves from the world around them. Jesus was engaged in the culture. He went to feasts, weddings, and dinners with outsiders. “Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s,” he said. That means we engage the culture, rather than run from it or isolate ourselves from it.

Healthy groups are not afraid to examine themselves in light of who they are. Questioning and even disagreeing are part of these healthy communities. Paul disagreed with the Jerusalem Council. He disagreed with Barnabas about John Mark. Yet through these disagreements, there came change and healing.

Community is when people come together and resolve their differences for the betterment of all parties. The best communities hold us, heal us, challenge us, and nurture us in a positive way. The best communities transform us.