The Hole in One Blog!

Smith takes Hole in One in first ever sudden death playoff!

2011-11-13T13:08:00.000-08:00

Smith's campaign to retain the Precious has survived a strong challenge from the least controversial man ever to play in the Hole in One, Simon. All tied up after 54 holes, the boys took to the 7th at Matarangi to decide the matter. Clearly Simon's sphincter had suffered extreme levels of contraction prior to taking his tee-shot which he sent into the water off the tee... he finished with a 7 which was always going to be too much to hold off the only 'professional' golfer at the tournament.

The tourney was held in beautiful conditions kicking off at Lakes. Early controversy had seen Scott chip a ball into Spid's chin on the practice tee. Only the knowledge that Scott was incapable of doing something like that intentionally avoided a Trev/Scott like Pukekohe situation...

Darcy again took the prize for being so absolutely unfathomably shit at golf to only pull in 13 stabies at Matarangi on day one. Its going to be very tough for anyone with 2 arms and 2 legs to better this performance.

Wrestling made an appearance at the HIO for the first time ever. Darcy whilst shabby on the greens proved to be a compelling immovable object in the ring of wrestling fire taking out the heavyweight division. Matt proved to be too good in the middleweights and Shawn easily took home the lightweight division. Drunken wrestling in the dark may prove to be one of the stupidest initiatives ever launched at the Hole in One, but it was certainly entertaining!

Big thumbs up for Spid for organizing this years tourney. The Lakes/Matarangi combo is a good one and the accommodation at Matarangi is spot on! Well done brother. The Blue tees on day 3 were also perfect and really showed how good Matarangi can be.

To conclude, Smith first, Simon second, Adi & Spid tied for 3rd.

Bring on the 2012 tournament which will be the decade of HIO celebration. Simon to organize.

McWilliams potential scratching

2011-11-04T11:14:00.000-07:00

The current holder of 'the Open' has announced his HIO campaign could be in jeopardy due to throwing his back out whilst putting his clothes on. I'm not sure what fucking methodology he is using for dressing himself but clearly he's making a pretty simple task difficult.... rumors about Stevie and page 64 of the Illustrated Kama Sutra are probably more accurate to what actually happened to him.

6 Days and counting...

2011-11-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

With 6 days out we have the usual array of last minute sad excuses for scratchings. The usual reasons continue to surface, didn't know when the tournament was as I don't own a calendar... haven't been able to escape the prison of a relationship I call my life... have work.........

Step up and emancipate yourselves for f*cks sake!

In other news, Smith hits a net 66 at Whanga, clearly he is a dodgy handicap manipulating mofo who wants to keeps the Precious......

The Countdown begins.....

2011-10-26T16:54:00.000-07:00

Tension is building to fever pitch as we near the kickoff to the 2011 HIO! The form guide looks quite shabby for most entrants which suggests that a lot of dodgy cards are being handed in, or the more likely explanation is that you're all playing shite golf. I know I am.

The Seagull is refusing to confirm what rules we will be playing under, what format, stabies, stroke play, binkie bonkie bullshit.... he's also refusing to answer questions on what the accommodation situation will be.

IN - Spid, Adi, Darcy, Trev, Martin, Simon, Smith, Scott, Shawn, Matt, Ben, Ant, Stephen, Campbell, Shane

OUT - Conrad, Pete

MAYBE - Chris Hocquard

Rumours are that Marty's Fonterra cheque was so big he has had his gold clubs gold plated at the same place Gaddafi used to get his pistols done....

Rumour also that Smith is spending the week before the tournie at Whangamata and will be playing Lakes in a concerted campaign to get himself ready.. controversial.

16, a very magic number!

2011-08-26T21:28:00.001-07:00

The number 16 is clearly a very special number for most of you as it reminds you of the age you were when you lost your virginity (probably to a strange male in a public toilet, but thats ok boys....). It is also a very special number in 2011 as this is the number of contestants that have put their hand up to attend this years tournament, the biggest field ever.

3 times HIO Champion Scott Spicer will be contesting this years tournament!

2011-08-26T21:25:00.000-07:00

This photo showing Scott leaving his job at the Waihi Walmart recently where he had announced he would be back in pursuit of the Precious this year. Despite having held the trophy 3 times, no one is sure if his before and after photo's are particularly different.....

Spid sighted leaving his golf lessons!

2011-08-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

Needless to say beneath the hat is a 'desperate to get the Precious back' Spid... clearly he is also still suffering the effects of his time as holder of the trophy!

Pictures in of Smith!!!

2011-08-26T21:17:00.000-07:00

Recent photos of Smith show that his exposure to the Precious is coming at some cost, let this be a warning to anyone who wants to win this years tourney....

Big field anticipated for this years HIO!

2011-08-24T17:01:00.000-07:00

Early confirmations as follows;
Darcy, Shaun, Adi, Steve, Trev, Spid, Smith, Ben, Matt, Campbell, Simon. Marty, Scott, Barney.
14 starters could be a record with more potential starters still in the mix.

The Seagull on the other hand has embarked on a desperate campaign of golf lessons such is the magnitude with which he wantes the Precious......

2011 Hole in One confirmed

2011-06-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

The Seagull has announced that he will be taking control of the 2011 HIO following the controversial scratching of Conrad's Terrace Downs mission. The tournament will now be held on the 11th-13th of November at Matarangi. All of those who were at Matarangi know that this is a very low risk option and an outstanding location for a golf tournie. More news to follows in regards to participant line-up. Early news is that Shane Rush could be an entrant, he's currently training his pony to ensure it will be capable of travelling the distance from Wairoa to Matarangi. Watch this space....

Update

2011-06-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Conrad has pulled the plug on the Terrace Downs plan. Obviously disappointing after the effort he put in. That said if you can't meet the market then its always an uphill slog. Which leaves us in the position that we currently have no one owning the organisation of this years tournament. Someone needs to step up and take control of this. Everyone is till very keen to play in the 9th annual Hole in One Tournament. Will update you when more information is at hand.

Latest news...

2011-06-08T19:56:00.000-07:00

The 2011 HIO has hit turbulence as withdrawals and other scratchings would appear to have compromised the plans Conrad was making for the tournie. Latest situation as far as I am aware is;

Scatched

- Spid

- Adi

- McWilliams

- Simon

- Martin

- Smith

Unsure

- Trev

- Scott
- Barney

Confirmed

- Conrad

- Darcy

That looks like a pretty fucked up situation to me people. Conrad has made the effort to organise a tournie so I think its time everyone manned up and made it crystal clear as to their position. On the current state of play someone is going to have to quickly arrange an alternative solution.

HIO 2011

2011-04-05T16:58:00.000-07:00

HI EVERYONE,

Well here I go to take the plunge and try to organise the 2011 HIO.
With such a great tournament held at Matarangi (thanks to Shane) I really felt I had to step up and get it sorted early so there aren't any issues with dates and people pulling out.
This early notice should also make it easier for you to tuck away some funds for the weekend.
I have made it a 3 night getaway so we can gather as a group on the final night to have a proper prize giving dinner and right old knees up.

The dates I have available are Oct 7, 8 & 9, Oct 14, 15 & 16, or Nov 18, 19 & 20.

Please get back to me with preferred dates ASAP

Conrad.

2010-11-29T11:05:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank my fellow competitors, my personal barman smeagol, and the fine staff at the dunes golf club which allowed me to perform at peak and smash the opposition. The hole in one is a true test of mans ability to cope under extreme pressure and I share my elation with past winners of this prestigious tourny. Controversial is the call regarding the no drinking and I merely place the blame on lack of entertainment venues, which unfortunately the break dancing display by the three snakes on a plane team did not make up for. However I did manage to consume copious amounts kindly supplied regularly by the smeagol in a vain attempt to derail a professional drinkers campaign. The precious is where it belongs and is currently being displayed and touted as the greatest victory of all Ohope. My congrats to our leader Shane on a tremendous effort and I pass my condolences on those unable to attend this years event. THE PRECIOUS IS MINE!!!!

Matarangi 2010

2010-11-28T22:35:00.000-08:00

Conrad to organise the 2011 Hole in One

2010-11-28T19:14:00.001-08:00

Details to follow.....

Smith takes the Precious at Matarangi!

2010-11-28T17:04:00.000-08:00

The 2010 Hole in One has been won by Smith in compelling form at this years tournie held in Matarangi. The weather was perfect, the accommodation was perfect, the food and drink freely flowed and generally the situation could only be described as sorted in the extreme. A big welcome to HIO newcomers Shaun and Pete, well done boys, a strong performance both on and off the course! Smith or Smeagol as he will be known for the next 12 months lead from start to finish and was in epic form, clearly he wantsss it the precious..... Conrad with a late challenge came in 2nd, Shane also finished strongly for 3rd, the Seagull took 4th with Adi in 5th place. Smith's 112 Stabies was well ahead of the other four who were all within 4 stabies of each other.

The awards as follows;

Dedication to drinking at the expense of golf award - Adi
The refusal to follow or even try to understand the rules of the game award - Adam
Giant girls blouse award for going to bed early award - Conrad
The Rusty Trombone award for being a big homo - Spid
The Scott Spicer award for drinking fuck all on the last night of the Tournie - Smith

Good work lads. Probably the best HIO tournie we have had and lets face it there hasn't been a bad one!

Countdown is on!

2010-11-22T19:32:00.000-08:00

Greetings fellow golfing enthusiasts. With only days to go to kickoff in this years HIO just a few late calls to make.. Tee time Friday has been put back to 2pm to allow people a reasonable amount of time to get to Matarangi, well done Shane! Early reports are that Smith is seriously backing his campaign as is Marty, yes no card Marty who has been quietly doing the Hauraki 9-hole circuit.. controversial. The seagull is also very impressed with his campaign, so fond of it he has taken to sleeping with himself... Conrad's handicap is going up and up and he is playing 10 rounds a week which is also controversial, but whatever it takes. Darcy's campaign looks to be terminally ill as does Adi's... A big reminder to buy your booze in town boys and avoid the 30% surcharge likely to be in place in the wilds of the Coromandel.

Controversy rocks the 2010 Hole in One!

2010-11-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

In what can only be described as tournie carnage, 4 starters have been scratched due to an inability to pay attention to when the tournie is being held. When the tournie dates were finalised back in June, several participants including the reigning champion failed to actually take note of the schedule. Well if ever there was a case of shit happening, it just did. Our condolences to Scott, Ant, Ben and Trev. As they say....the show must go on!

Latest news from the 2010 Tournie

2010-10-28T19:42:00.000-07:00

Organiser and the mayor of Waihitia has announced the itinerary for the big weekend.
Venue - The Dunes Golf Course - Matarangi - Coromandel Peninsula
Friday 26/10

4 tee times starting at 12pm.
Drinks.
Dinner at clubhouse or takeaways.
More drinks.

Saturday 27/10

4 tee times starting at 10.30 am.
Swim.
Drinks.
Dinner at clubhouse if they let us back in or takeaways.
More drinks.

Sunday 28/10

4 tee times starting at 10 am.
Prize giving.

The entry fee into the tournament is $75 each. This creates a cash prize pool of $1100 plus $100 for golf balls for minor daily prizes(closest to pin etc).
The $1100 prize pool will be divided up so that all 16 players receive a cash prize which ranges from $200 1st prize to $20 for the last place getter.

As far as costs go the accommodation is $100 per person for the weekend. There could be cleaning costs to follow.
We are hiring 4 villas with their own amenities.
To keep the food simple I'm suggesting you bring as much of your own as you want. Lunches can be provided by the club and the same with dinner. There is a cafe that can take care of breakfasts and takeout pizza / burgers etc as well as evening meals.
The same for booze. Bring your own. I will pick up some bourbon for the late night sessions so all you need to worry about is beer and/or wine. There is a liquor store in Matarangi but it will be expensive so buy before you hit the Peninsula.
Accommodation and entry fee's will need to be paid in advance Can you deposit $175 into my bank account by November 19 please.Shane Rush - Kiwibank - 389004 0368030 00.
Also, with the recent scratching of Trev from the tourney we still have two slots open to anyone else out there that might be keen. I know Ben mentioned a mate of his a while ago.

Shane.

2010 for the first time the Hole in One will be played at Matarangi

2010-07-26T02:04:00.000-07:00

Word from Shane Rush, this years organiser and the mayor of Waihitia is that the tournie will be played at The Dunes Golf Resort at Matarangi. Commencing on the 26th of November and finishing on the 28th, 3 rounds and may the best man win. No word yet on what format we will be playing, early talk is that Bingo Boingo has been ritually sacrificed and will not play any part in this years tournie (thank fuck I hear you say!). Early reports are that a record field will be contesting this festival of alcohol and golf. In other news, at current progress, McWilliams will be commencing this years Hole in One playing off a 38.3 handicap, fortunately for him he will avoid this ignominious glory by being absent on helping his wife have a baby duty. Also, in news from Ohope, Smith has purchased 3 sets of clubs to try and turn his situation around, we will certainly be counting his weaponry on the 26th of November. Click below to visit the Dunes homepage.
The Dunes at Matarangi

2009 and Scott Spicer does it again.... 4th victory at the HIO

2010-07-26T01:58:00.000-07:00

The weather was crap. Conrad drove Spid crazy. We all got hammered on Friday & Saturday night. Marty lost his mind and threw his toys and the rulebook out of his cot at Lakes Resort. Nate threatened to deceive and at the end of it all, the only thing that remained was victory for Scott again. How the f@ck he does it remains a mystery to us all. Some say he is the devil, others that he takes 6 valium before each round..

Ant Healey takes the 2008 Tourney in extreme controversial circumstances

2010-07-26T01:54:00.001-07:00

Ant turns up a day late to the tournament, is gifted an average score for the round he missed before taking the final 2 days and the tournie! Further controversy when it is discovered his handicap is not current... scandalous.

Bitch , Moan and Slagfest 2008

2008-06-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

The place you come to sledge and make havoc in the leadup to this years tourny!

Hole in One 2008 - Latest

2008-01-08T18:02:00.000-08:00

It's official, dates have now been set for this years HIO which promises to be a blockbuster!!
Dates: September 12th of September - Grange at 8.48am, 8.54am and 9.00am followed by beer and skittles at Smeagols place.
September 13th - Formosa 10am tee-off. Overnight at Formosa villas, sleeping arrangements as outlined by Darcy.
September 14th - Formosa 10am tee-off, may the best man and stabie collector win!

Well done Darcy!