THE HOLY DOSE

Just sayin!<3

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 22:18:00 +0000

Stupid blog keeps interrupting my thought process!
<3
I was just saying that i know "<3" is supposed to be a sideways heart or something, but, to me, it looks just like a fart cloud. The type of thing you would see coming out of a ruddy uncomfortable stooge on the wrapper of some Spencer's Gifts "Fart Candy."

Just sayin!<3

Simply the Best

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 21:19:00 +0000

I haven't been on this Internet thing in weeks! Jeez!
First of all:
R.I.P. Bernie Mac
We will miss you, America.

I think its about time to brighten things up around here with a nice "Summer's over" Best of list.

Here we go:

Jacuzzi Boys - Mind-blowing Latino heartthrob trash peddlers. Check out their recent 7" on Hozac if you don't believe me. See them in action for the full power trio experience.
Gentleman Jesse LP - Sweet. Its funny that people think its a "summer record," since its pretty obvious that Jesse hates the summer. Hasn't anyone heard his song, "Going out of my mind"? Gentleman J's world is full of melted candy bars and annoying attention hungry chicks; you may as well just drink your troubles away and sleep as much as you can cos its way too hot to have fun outside.
Apache 'Boomtown Gems' LP - These guys know exactly how good it feels to play stripped down retarded glam punk, and they do it with style all over this record. You can practically smell the weed smoke coming from behind the bleachers. Skipping school never sounded this good.
The Last Rob's House show - Always hotter than hell, its still sorta sad to see it go.
Getting Wasted when there's nothing better to do - Ya know?
Making up funny names for restaurants - Kenny Braggard's Boasters (Home of the best fucking chicken... of all time!!), Lord of the Wings (like Hooters, except we only employ retired old men with long beards dressed like wizards), Hot Chicks (exactly like Hooters), etc. Ad Nauseum.
Dwight Twilley / Phil Seymour - Criminally underrated Oklahoman Pop craftsmen. My interest has grown from casual to obsessive. Todd even had a weird correspondence with Twilley's wife via Myspace. ??? WTF??? In league with 20/20~Big Star~Badfinger~Raspberries

That's about all I can remember? Winter, its about time you show your ugly face. I've got some pretty sweet jackets I've been neglecting.

XO<3

PS: I know that "<3">

SPOILER ALERT!!: Indiana Jones and the kingdom of the lame alien shaped bong

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Wed, 28 May 2008 06:21:00 +0000

How come the movie reviews in the newspaper and magazines are always written from the perspective of a drunk retarded kid? In our new feature, SPOILER ALERT!!, The HOly Dose weighs in on a summer blockbuster from its high horse & the view is spectacular.

Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

What a total turd of a movie! SPOILER ALERT: It's a hilarious turd of a movie! Easily the funniest movie I've seen in the last 6 months! and I've seen over 3 movies! We were laughing so hard this douche (who was sitting in the reserved for disabled people seats) got so frustrated he up and left his nachos and everything! Or maybe he was just pissed that Indiana Jones has been reduced to a bad X-files rerun that was shitty 15 years ago. I think Speilberg and Lucas are so bored and over it now, to make it interesting they're trying to void out the most trite bullshit the world has ever seen. You'll be amazed when you realize you and each and everyone of your buds thinks the exact same thing at the same exact time... The Crystal Skull 's made of Saran wrap! That being said, I would definitely see it again. On mushrooms. Knowledge is power!
RATING: ********** (BME)

this summer

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 18:35:00 +0000

This summer's gonna be nuts cos Milton just got 2 boats! For real boats. We're gonna make one into a hot tub. Top that, top hat.

SEMI CHUB: SANDRA LEE

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:50:00 +0000

I'm developing a disturbing milf-crush on Sandra Lee from Food Network's Semi Homemade Cooking with Sandra Lee. I share her passion for fruity cocktails and not making anything from scratch. I think its really funny that so many women hate her. The haters even have a sweet name for her fans: Leetards!
My buddies and I always joke around about going out to Johnny's Hideaway (Buckhead's premier 'over 40' nite club) and finding ourselves a couple of nice Cougars that have nothing to worry about other than planning parties and soccer practice. I don't think it would be that fun in reality; I'm sure we'd probably just end up being harrassed by a bunch of wasted Paula Deens.

Check out this recipe for "Steamers":

I'm less embarrassed by my ongoing unhealthy obsessions with Giada & the Final Countdown:

Bitch you ride the MARTA Bus

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 01:23:00 +0000

The Southwest Dekalb Drum Majors with their no budget ringtone-ready hit:

The Hisstory Book: Chapter 1: The Young Americans

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 05:49:00 +0000

I was inspired by Bradford Cox's blog, so I went through some old recordings on my hard drive and stumbled into the world of The Young Americans. In 1998 we went to Rob McGregor's legendary Goldentone Studios and he pressed record and drank Kool-Aid while we went crazy. Equal parts Gun Club, T Rex, Cramps, & Chuck Berry, T.Y.A. started as a joke; we were simply way into mesh shirts and the word young. We soon became notorious for guerrilla gigs at house shows. If you had a keg and an unknown Athens Indierock band that was foolish enough to leave their gear unattended, you probably paid witness to one of our "performances." I must say this was one of the easiest, most fun bands I've ever been a part of. I got to do a lot of cool stuff with that band in a short amount of time, like playing at the last Hardback show ever. It still influences my music today and is a direct inspiration for my current band, The Hiss. It would not have been possible without Nathan Birk (pictured, vocals), Todd Galpin (drums), or Young Mark (rhythm guitar.) Thats me on guitar, age 19, in the mesh football shirt and weird Bowie-esque pants. (Note: That shirt wasn't totally mesh; it had normal sleeves. I just recently found it... although it would probably break if i tried to put it on now.) On its 10th anniversary, I proudly present, in its entirety, The Young Americans: How We Did it in '98.

Click here to Download: The Young Americans: How we did it in '98

JUDI CHICAGO: it’s the messy way that we operate.

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 00:44:00 +0000

At the risk of sounding like James Murphy, I was there. All the elements were in place; party-starting jams that worship at the altar of Shaun Ryder and Kraftwerk, singer with an authentic British accent, over-the-top stage antics, perfectly themed costumes, & a live baby on the drum kit. After months quietly wrecking intimate gatherings for vegan bike messengers, this mysteriously exciting new duo set its sights on warmer shores. Mara, our den mother, & her team of gorgeous ladies play hostess to the most legendary get-togethers in town (read: hot gals, huge manicured gardens, shrimp boils, DIY mojito & mint julep bar, 2 Porto potties, etc.) As the sun set on an afternoon of pedestrian neo-folk, Judi Chicago take the stage and never let go. A dance party erupts into a sweaty mob of shaking tambourines as our heroes are still getting into character: karate suits, a kimono, & a 2 year-old baby on drums! I caught up with Ben and Travis at The Local to talk about the past, present, and future of Atlanta’s new favorite sons. I still owe Travis a burger.

Ben Coleman, the voice of Judi Chicago, has an easy disarming charm that works in contrast to his vicious English wit. Try to imagine a tougher, straighter Morrissey. Recalling the early days, “I met Travis while I was waiting for my green card. I couldn’t have a job and I was going insane sitting indoors day and night, and my wife had mentioned something about Travis wanting to do some electronic music with me. He hosted an electronic show on Georgia Tech’s radio at the time and my wife was the GM. We both loved Faust, Can, and the early Chicago house scene.” Travis, the sonic architect & Richards to Coleman’s Jagger, remembers their noisier beginnings, “When we started it was all about circuit bent toys & gigs at the Eyedrum. We lit something on fire one time; that was fun.” From their humble origins they have refined the Judi Chicago sound template into a beautiful mess of kitchen sink samples, cheap pounding beat machines, skating rink jams, and absurdist fast food humor. It’s a twenty-car pile up with Beck, Kraftwerk, Happy Mondays, Faust, Mark E. Smith, ESG, Moroder, and Ronald McDonald being rushed to the ER.

As Atlanta’s unofficial house party band, they bear the responsibility of pulling off the craziest gigs without a safety net. Travis reasons, “House parties are so in your face and that’s what we’re all about: Getting in the audience and being right up on everybody. Being in the crowd, ya know, like hanging out.” Part of their mystique is the refusal to rely on standard methods, preferring instead to bring their own homemade sub-woofer box, known as The Doghouse, and making it the centerpiece of their stage set-up, where a lead singer or maybe a drummer would usually go. It leaves Ben free to swing like a monkey from your bookshelf or wrap himself in your mom’s drapes while busting out lyrical gems like, “Dope me up and take me dancing!” or “Let’s get bumper to bumper, beat me up & leave me in a dumpster!” This childlike wanderlust is what brings the energy of the house party to a club gig. When someone sings, “George Bush is a lizard,” while crawling the filthy floor at Lenny’s, it drives their point straight home (without the awkward goodnight kiss.) This spontaneous renegade behavior is so effortless it begs the question: What’s going through your head up there? “We’re trying to show everyone that the usual boundaries aren’t there,” Travis reckons. “I just hope that people aren’t self conscious. The stage exists because it holds up some speakers and our gear. We’re there in very little clothing. It’s supposed to be ridiculous and the point it to have fun.” “It’s the messy way that we operate. The whole idea of the group was always to vomit out data. Trying to push it to that point is quite exhausting, really; trying to give so much of your own energy to it so that some of it carries over into the crowd,” offers Ben. “It works really, really nicely when it does happen, whether it’s because everyone’s on free Colt 45 or because you’ve done it til you’re actually bleeding out of your legs. Once you’ve reached critical mass, it’s fantastic!”

Riding high off the heels of their highly anticipated debut, JUDI CHICAGO x 1,000,000, the group’s been making time opening up for the likes of Gravy Train, Bonde De Role, Black Moth Super Rainbow, as well as traveling to their namesake city for even bigger club parties. By all accounts, the Dance Party Magic/Chicago gigs were mental, opening the door for more choice party invites. The future looks bright for the duo including more traveling, a remix series, some wacky international gigs (Ben performing in the UK simultaneously with Travis in Atlanta?!), guest DJ spots, even plans for a Judi Chicago burger. Guys, what’s on a Judi Chicago burger? “Skyline chili, a spandex sausage, licorice all-sorts, and pubic hair.” I seem to have forgotten my wallet; next time the burgers are on me.

WEED WEREWOLF wonders why? Pt .263

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 17:57:00 +0000

WEED WEREWOLF WONDERS WHY the heroes in every 80's action movie never take the dead badguy's guns? They might come in handy.

Stupid "Me"-decade!
Also, stupid Reaganomics.

XO,
WW

How to wash a: BRA

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Sun, 17 Feb 2008 17:40:00 +0000

Here at The holy dose™ we take pride in providing you with the resources to tackle real life problems. This is part one of an ongoing series: HOW TO WASH A (BLANK).

This seems like really important information for husbands, boyfriends, and women new to bras. And murderers.

How to Wash a Bra

Laundry time again.

Bras can seem like alien clothing to wash, but it is really quite easy. If you're a husband, boyfriend, or a woman new to bras, or if you'd like to take better care of your investment, here are some tips for you.

[edit] Steps

Close the clasps.

Close the clasps before washing. Most bras have clasps on them, whether they attach in the front or back. These have a tendency to catch on other items in the wash. If yours is an athletic bra or slip-on type without closures, don't worry about this step.
Put bras in a lingerie bag.

Put bras in a zip-up, net bag (sometimes called a lingerie bag) that separates them from other items in the wash. This will prevent snagging. You can then wash bras at the same time as other items in your washing machine.
Wash in a washing machine.

Wash bras in cold or warm water on the gentle cycle of the washing machine.
Make sure as with any other items you launder that the items are of compatible colors. If you wash a red bra with a number of white bras you may end up with a selection of pink, polka-dotted, or tie-dyed clothing.
Wash bras with fabrics of a similar weight. Jeans and towels are much heavier than bras. T-shirts, underwear, socks and pajamas are better choices for filling up that load.
Reshape the bra if it has foam or batting in the cups.
Air drying is gentlest.

Air dry the bra if at all possible. It is by far the gentlest way. When air drying the bra, lay the bra flat because hanging can reshape or damage the form of the cup. If you do dry the bra in a dryer, dry it on a low to medium setting. Heat can damage it, as can catching on or tangling with other items in the dryer.

[edit] Tips

Read the directions, too.

If the bra label has special care instructions, follow them.
No lingerie bag? You can also use a pillowcase with a knot tied in the top.
Bras can easily be hand washed, too. Simply swish them in a tub or sink full of water with enough laundry soap to make suds. A gentle fabric cleaner such as Woolite or even a bit of shampoo will also work. Then, rinse thoroughly, squeeze (do not wring or twist) out excess water by sandwiching it in a dry clean towel, and hang to dry.
Do not bleach bras, or if you feel you must bleach them for some reason, use a non-chlorine bleach. Over time, chlorine bleach degrades spandex, a common material in bras.
In general, you should not -- and should not need to --iron bras.

[edit] Warnings

Snagging can damage bras in two ways. The first is tearing the material or stitching. The second is by bending the underwire that accompanies most bras. Even after reshaping the bent underwire, it can leave kinks that will be uncomfortable for the wearer.

T.V. watching strike, Day 80

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 00:22:00 +0000

I think most people would describe me as a "good sport." I'm pretty tolerant of self obsessive annoying bullshit. You need only scroll through my Ipod for proof. Its filled with 235 Days worth of (mostly) legally acquired music, ranging from to Magik Markers to the far superior Hall & Oates. In fact, I have become so obsessed with the idea of filling up the 80G hard drive that enabling the shuffle feature is on par with taking an all-inclusive trip to Sandals: Guantanamo Bay. Fuck Water boarding! Make these evildoers sit through seven hours of Steve Reich with a tiny bit of Billy Ocean in between... just to get their hopes up. I promise you, they will sing like mockingbirds.

Sure, its easy to joke about illegally mistreating prisoners of war- Jay Leno's made a fortune off of it. They almost deserve it. Terrorists make me angry! Heck, Jay Leno makes me angry! I rarely ever get angry at Hollywood; I almost never get mad enough to, say, smash a large vase or key my dad's car, but this time they've really done it! To you, Hollywood, I say this: resolve the writers' strike or else!

Ever since the WGA began its selfish, hateful campaign on November 5th, all i can think about is poor Bret Michaels. Without their help, he may never find true love. (Though he may have to work on his gaming skills- playing Every Rose Has Its Thorn to a captive audience may work on the new girls at the Applebee's franchise you Assistant Manage, esp. after- oops!- 7 too many Tequiza`s, but it's hardly the way to win the heart of a lady. Even if said lady's face looks as if it may have been hit with a hot frying pan or found in a loose pile under an old-fashioned, hand-cranked meat grinder. Can somebody please take the beer goggles off that guy.) Why? So some famous overpaid writer can have a couple of extra sick days to spend in Cannes or Vail? Baby wants a bottle, waaaah. Lil Baby needs better working conditions and better health care. Please, quit whining. I don't have health care. In fact, I technically am not allowed to bleed. If you cut me right now, I could go to jail.

By now you've probably realized I'm not the delusional "worker bee" that Hollywood claims I am. The type of Joe Slob* that thinks by watching Celebrity Rehab (BTW: Clever name, VH1. Are the people who name T.V. shows on strike as well?) the wheelchair guy from TAXI who is, apparently, addicted to farting, is my buddy. No thank you, VH1; I have real buddies that are addicted to farting.

Also, why are the commercials for Vagisil Wipes ™ so prominently featured during Celebrity Rehab? What are they trying to say about their audience?? Do T.V. commercial copy writers belong to the same unions? Is there something seeping out of Hollywood's un-fresh vagina that they don't want us to know about? I think there is. Old fashioned work ethic.

-Sir Adrian

**Please contact me if you are interested in picking up the revolutionary new series I'm developing.** (I'm talking to you ABC!)
Its a reality based-television experience called, Joe Slob.
Synopsis: An interactive game show where contestants compete by giving in to their basest desires, pissing away every penny they have on bad investments such as crack, meth, hookers, gasoline, Blue-Ray DVDs, etc. Then they only eat fast food until they're homeless. Next, we introduce them to a ball busting English nanny who puts them through a boot camp where they learn about manners and more importantly, themselves. Finally, they are flown to L.A. and given a makeover by the king of pop himself, Clay Aiken! The finale is taped live in front of a studio audience. America, and a small cohort of Dutchmen, then choose one winner who will live out the rest of their days in luxury as Paula Abdul's servant/lap dog/pill-scorer. The losers remain homeless.

LATE NIGHT CONVERSATION REVEALS "PORKY PIGGING" NOT THE ONLY TERM FOR DESCRIBING PANTSLESSNESS

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 20:39:00 +0000

EAST ATLANTA- We've all done it before. Hastily leaving the house, wearing nothing but a too-tight blue blazer and red bowtie. A couple of clever MIT students have been studying this phenomenon and their research has led them to what experts have already termed, "the most signifigant breakthrough in the field of naming, since Lou Gherig was diagnosed with Lou Gherig's disease."

Now the group is finding itself in the midst of a controversy. In the past, it was presumed that if a person left the house sans pants, it was that individual's choice. The accidental discovery of the Porky Pig gene (found while mapping the human genome for the gene responsible for bowtie wearing - Tucker Carlson is one of the many that has already benefited from their findings - Christian Science Monitor Oct.2007), has raised the question, are there other strains of this socially destructive condition?

Yes. There are.

DAFFY DUCKING - Involvthss drething like a dithspicable priethst with a lithsp. Editor's note: This ailment is often misdiagnosed as Sylvestering, a deep Canary obsession affecting succotash sufferers
BUGS BUNNYING - Carrot smoking transvestite robots are commonly at risk.
MS. PACMANING - Found predominantly in women, this behavior is characterized by full nudity, save for whorish make-up and the dreaded red bowtie; usually associated with a long night of pill chomping and ghost chasing.

Science, you really know your stuff!

-Dr. Adrian

ICE WAR: Blizzard report - day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 03:09:00 +0000

DAY 1- Ladies and gentlemen, I stand before you in the midst of one of the fiercest snowstorms Atlanta has seen in years! There's nearly a quarter inch! Thank God for the local news coverage. I'd have never known how serious this problem is! Its like Hurricane Katrina II! Breaking News!..... No reports of cars slowing down yet, but that may change at any moment.
I expect FEMA and the National Guard to offer their support soon. We have plenty of supplies and power (for now.) Pray for us.... They're predicting a breeze storm next week.

NEW DEERHUNTER ALBUM???

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 15:35:00 +0000

I'm pretty sure i scooped Pitchfork on this one. (How does it feel to get scooped? Huh, Pitchfork? You like that. You got scOOOPed! ) It seems our old pals in DEERHUNTER have shrewdly pulled the wool over our eyes yet again. Some late night internet research reveals that not only is the group staying together for the meantime; they have also recorded a new album, 2004. The title has been a source of much debate on internet chatrooms all over my parents' house. Some believe its named after the heyday of droney murk, or perhaps, a reference to Dr. Dre's opus, The Chronic 2001. It may also be a mysterious tribute to Bush's second term. (He is pictured on the album sleeve crouching with a rifle.)
The album, seen here, is just the latest in a series of wild publicity stunts linked to the group. No tracklisting was available as of press time, but it appears it will be released on Atari, furthering public opinion that DEERHUNTER are nerds. This album is rated: Teen.

PS: Can we all agree to stop using the term, Indie Darlings? I feel like one of those sex predators from that show just for typing that. Its creepy.

WEED WEREWOLF WONDERS WHY PT2

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 09:06:00 +0000

WEED WEREWOLF WONDERS WHY van surfing never caught on???

A NEW YEAR DAWNS

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:06:00 +0000

HELLO internet,
This has been a weird year and i think 2008 will be even weirder still!
I'm currently shopping around a script! Its about a new rave DJ that accidentally starts a computer virus (CODENAME: spoonman) that kills the music scene in a sleepy southern metropolis (read: Atlanta.) Its up to a precocious bunch of frat boys (and an old lady) , who stumble into an underground burrito club to save the city before time runs out and rock n' roll dies forever! There's a car chase, some CSI style forensics, a talking cat, a robot that beatboxes clues, sword fights, culture vampires, a laser lightshow, and a magic record! I haven't worked out all the details yet, but dialogue and storylines are overrated anyway; i'm focusing on the merchandising first (action figures, headbands, candy, promotional sodas, limited edition NEW Era fitteds, etc.) I figure that the "story" will write itself. I'm just a vessel.

COLOR ME RAD.

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 22:46:00 +0000

Hello weirdos,
Its been a while. I'm glad we have these talks. They're special.

Anyway... its been a hot, cruel summer in the ATL(anta.) I'm just gonna reminisce on this for a minute. Party along with this tune bad kids.
Music: Black lips - "Bad Kids" MP3 from Good Bad Not Evil
Dennis Wilson - "YOU & I" MP3 from Pacific Ocean Blue

Pool parties at Miltown Lofts, 2007 will never be the same. Its like when the Z-boys discovered pool skating. Color me rad.
pORCHIN IT AT eLIZABETH'S HOUSE. Bitchin party house all nighters at Blanche DeVeroux's place. The last megabash for CB/Lil' Joe/Ezra/Drennen was the party that ended it all. "Who's blood is this on my shirt?"
Corndogorama. Summertime blues. Good corndogs. Gettin weird at Lenny's Beach.
Mara's summer bash. Classic. Judi Chicago fired the shot heard 'round Atlanta. The Hiss , with a dose of forshadowing, played without Ian, with Brandon on guitar and Johnny Krall on bass instead of George (who left the party with a girl and thought no one would notice.)
Austin. SXSW. I already covered this one.
Miami pt. 1 & 2. Can't wait to go back. Gettin weird in Vice City. Hanging at the Double Duece. The Gay Topless beach. Mod Johnny. Ladies of Dade County. Revolver. Milton, the Techno alarm clock. "Who's the point man?" "Get in the hole, J."
Oxford, Mississippi. Total fun. When you play there, they put your band in the local paper's crossword/word search. And everybody in the town asks you if your in The Hiss. Weird. The Jubilee is the jump off point for anyone visiting. Hospitality plus. "Why's yalls grill in muh y'rd????" or "Is there damn anybody here that damn lives here???"
nEW oRLEANS, lA. Holy Crap. I fucking love that place. DJ Kristen & DJ Matt tear the club up. (That's tear as in Hulk Hogan ripping his tank top off, not tear, like, that salty water that drips out of your eye if you're a sissy or emo. It would be silly to cheer them on for that.)

IN LOVING MEMORY OF MY ABUELO LAZARO

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Mon, 20 Aug 2007 04:08:00 +0000

My Grandfather, Lazaro Barrera, passed away this Wednesday, ending a long bout with Emphysema and a host of other age related ailments. His boundless wit and fiery demeanor will be forever etched in the memory of all of those who's lives he touched. He loved life; good food, dominos, fine shoes, tailored suits, and smart hats... but most of all he loved his family. Today we remember him, and i will always try to honor his memory.

Just Me

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Wed, 09 May 2007 17:13:00 +0000

sorry about the lack of blogs. i don't have interweb axxess at the moment. in liu of a "real" blog, i'll just give you some fun facts about me.

1. I've got some purple hair; i'm going for a G.I. Joe bad guy/Zartan look.
2. i'm taller than i look.
3. i'm enjoying the early arrival of summer.
4. i recently woke up in my friend Nini's bathtub.
5. i'm obsessed with a Skull bowling ball i just saw.
6. i'm the Art Director/Head of A&R for Dangerous Moves International Records.
7. i'm having the time of my life.
8. miss my friends though.

9. Anchor Bay has made my wildest dreams come true by properly releasing the Jodorowsky Box Set (El Topo, Holy Mtn, and Fando Y Lis; $44.99 at Best Buy!)
10. I'm about to start improv classes at Dad's Garage.
11. I've read The Game by N.Strauss
12. CHOCOLATE HEARTS LP by THE HISS comes out May 22nd.
13. I'm recording a "solo album."
14. Houndburglar will be back this summer.
15. I have a bar in my house. Its called the Skull Club.
16. You're invited.

Later,
Adrian

Holy Shit pt 2 - The Dose in Austin!

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Fri, 23 Mar 2007 22:12:00 +0000

SXSW was pretty wild. Atlanta rep'd hard for the durty. check out rollingstone.com if you don't believe me. Dangerous moves are no strangerous dudes, so we had to wreck some shit while we were there too. -Skull club
This guy will sue you if you're not partying hard enough. He's also the Strip Club's unofficial mascot.
Here i am asking a hobo for directions to Red River and Lamar or something. Psych! That's Cole from BLACK LIPS sans the dirty wig and the fireworks.
THE HISS rocking hy-meys at the Northern Star party. Yes, Ian and I are, in fact, blasting out the same boogie attack chord. Apparently, I smelled like alcohol that whole day.THE COATHANGERS are like YOKO singing for a dubbed out FLIPPER. These girls say, "Your mom...", after anything you say, so its pointless to try to talk to them. I also saw them rob a homeless guy's flowers once. You can't really make the sign out in the background, but the place we played, Jaime's, is breast feeding friendly... Not to be confused with a breast feeding frenzy, which also happened (at RICK's CABARET!)THE MAYOR's our tour manager. He just did a mountain of drugs before this photo was taken. I'm not sure if it was for SNEAKING BACKSTAGE at the VICE party with an ENORMOUS paper bag full of booze (cost:$6.00) or for hypnotizing a stripper with the THRILLER DANCE at RICK'S CABERET, but somewhere along the way THE MAYOR acheived MVP status. Incredibly, he took most of these pics as well.
Here's me and some hobos having beans at a weird rest stop in the center of the highway. You can barely make out the "JUST CHILLING OUT" cooler. (See open van door.) THE MAYOR bought it on our way back to the A. It features a spraypainted neon duck with a weird mohawk surfing right onto the shore of a deserted beach; where one would presume he's about to "chill out."That's funny. I don't remember seeing this guy at all. He looks like he just crawled out of that bag.

-Many Thanks go out to Goodtime Paul, Kenny, Mary, and Claire for hospitality and shenanigans-

SERIOUSLY SXSW

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 21:38:00 +0000

SEE YOU IN AUSTIN EFF'N MOTHER EFF'RS. WE GET IN THURSDAY AND WE DON'T STOP TIL WE GET DONE, WHATEVER THAT MEANS.

HELP WANTED

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 21:23:00 +0000

Upscale Buckhead salon looking for ex-sailor/fisherman for reception position. Must have stories that begin with, "AArgh, Did I ever tell you about the time me krewe and i were held captive by..." Hook hand, cursing, and scurvy a plus. Must be able to type at least 1 word a minute. Potential candidates should also be able to refrain from blushing when a demure young lady uses foul language in their presence. Familiar with Excel, Word, HTML, & pirate code. Serious replies only! No landlubbers. Pipe smoke OK. Leave the bird at home. great benefits/great pay.
contact siradrian@theholydose.thisisfake.org

STRIP CLUBS

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Tue, 13 Mar 2007 21:01:00 +0000

Deciding on a strip club name can be the hardest choice a new mother ever has to make. The Dose is no stranger to (upscale ) Gentleman's clubs; we've worked tirelessly to debunk the formula for a winning name. You'll need a few basic tools, but ultimately any combination of these words will have patrons filing around the block to watch YOUR skanks undress for success.
Here's your vocab list:
TOPHAT
GOLD
PINK
SHOWCLUB
CLUB
DUST
PONY
SEX
GENTLEMEN
MAGIC
BOWTIES
PLEASURE
KITTY
REVUE
LOUNGE
UPSCALE
TREASURES
VENUS
LEOPARDS/CHEETAHS

EXAMPLES:
MAGIC GENTLEMEN BOWTIE REVUE
UPSCALE TOPHATS PLEASURE LOUNGE
VENUS LEOPARDS SHOWCLUB
GOLD PONY SEX
PINK PLEASURE KITTY
UPSCALE SEX TREASURES
HOOTERS
MAGIC PINK DUST LOUNGE
PINK TOPHAT SEX REVUE
UPSCALE GOLD GENTLEMEN SEX LOUNGE
ETC.

Try some of these or make up your own! Don't forget the $17 drinks, $12 T-bone, & the $9 ATM surcharge!

WATCH THIS SHOW, OK?

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Wed, 21 Feb 2007 07:05:00 +0000

This is the best talk show ever. My hero and mentor, Ian Svenonius (Nation of Ulysses, MaKE-Up, Weird War) hosts! He's like white James Brown mixed with crazy prophetic wisdom. He interviews: Ian Mackye, Henry Rollins, Cat Power, and more! Check this shit out, then watch the show. It will blow your mind. See also: SOFT FOCUS DEFILES THE GRAVES OF HISTORIC TV PROGRAMS

Here's more proof:

- Sir Adrian

HOW TO START A NEW COLD WAR

noreply@blogger.com (Sir Adrian) — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 21:16:00 +0000

-from Wiki How:
Cold Wars can be a fun and profitable way to pass the time. Starting one is easier than you think! Its also a great way to teach little ones about responsibility and the value of an obvious enemy.

Things you'll need:
a fireplace * sandwich * compass * yamulke * 4 coyotes * #2 pencil * plutonium ( I really hope they named that shit after the Roman god and not the ex-planet! Somebody's gettin' fired!) * 7 hamburgers * a cabbage patch * xavier roberts * cobblestone road * 20 assorted hats * a leather sword * lice

HOW:
1. Determine what type of enemy you want all action movies to feature for the next ten years.
2. Become a nuclear superpower.
3. Make a trailer for your bicycle.
4. Brew your own beer.
5. Make Arnold Schwarzenegger the biggest movie star.
6. Attack your enemy's ideology.
7. Yakov Smirnoff.
8. KGB spies stole this step.
9. Nikolai Volkoff.
10. Sgt. Slaughter.
11. Support the troops.
12. Don't actually fight a military war.
13. Carry the beer to the party on your bike trailer.
14. Insider trading.
15. You did it!

This is Gene Hackman!>>>>> Serious. Check out CONELRAD!!!It pretty much... RIPS!

-Sir Adrian