Take a look at the passage above; specifically verse 24. Doesn’t this mean that there are little green men in my brain?

Growing up my wife’s parents never yelled.  Therefore, yelling is just not something that she can get used to.  On the other hand, my parents yelled frequently.  So I am used to it.  And sometimes, I use it.

We discuss often its effectiveness and whether or not we should yell.  She doesn’t like it and neither do I, but its somewhat normal to me, so I struggle to get rid of it and sometimes believe it is effective.

I never yell at my wife, but sometimes I do yell at my growing boys that seem intent on terrorizing Mom, Dad, baby sister, the plants outside, the shoes on the rack, their bedroom, our bedroom, the computer, the CTRL-key on Daddy’s computer; everything really.

However, lately I’ve been examining the effectiveness of yelling.  I don’t do it out of anger (most of the time).  And even control the volume carefully so that I am projecting just the right amount of yell that I want them to receive.

Why I Yell

I yell because they get into things they shouldn’t, step on their sister’s feet, take things off the Christmas tree, climb the walls (literally), break things, and ignore me when I’m talking to them.

I also yell because I’m lazy.  I’m too lazy to walk over to the sink to help the youngest turn off the water.  I’m too lazy to take a few moments to see what is causing all the ruckus. I’m too lazy to do anything beyond yell at them.

Conducting a Yell Experiment

I’m a scientist of sorts.  When I think something is something, I devise a little model and test it out to see if I’m right.  So I conducted a yelling experiment to test its effectiveness.  The results are anecdotal and not that surprising, but they do hit the heart with some force.

I called my oldest boy (he’s nearly four) over to me the other day.  I told him that I loved him, gave him a hug, and said explicitly that he had done nothing wrong.  I even told him why I was about to yell at him.

Then I let it rip.

I raised my voice considerably and told him to go pick up one of his toys and bring it to me.  It must have been a tremendous yell, as my infant daughter that was sleeping in Mom’s arms was no longer sleeping.  She was now yelling too.

My son walked straight for his toy, picked it up, and brought it to me.  He accomplished the task just as I asked.  For the purpose of accomplishing the task set before him, yelling was effective.

But then a curious thing happened.

After handing me the toy, he immediately went over to a cupboard that he likes to play in and he hid.  I called out to him and only after some serious coercion would he come out.  Holding him in my arms he explained to me the best way that he could that he was upset because I yelled at him.

Even though I had let him know beforehand that I was not angry with him and he hadn’t done anything wrong, he was still upset.  Our relationship was fractured.

But the experiment wasn’t over.

Putting him down, I looked him straight in the eyes and asked him in a nice calm voice to cross the room again and pick up a different toy.  He left and did exactly what I wanted. He dawdled a little (I felt the burn to yell after him), but he did accomplish the task.

But then a curious thing happened.

He returned to his cupboard.  He was still upset.  Our relationship was still broken in his eyes.  He desperately wanted to be held and to know that I wasn’t angry with him.I held him for a long time.

The Results

Both methods had the result of an accomplished task, but only when I spoke to him kindly was our relationship  left intact.  Yelling, out of anger or desperation or because you think it is effective, tears relationship apart.  And it conditions people to be okay with yelling, even believing that it is normal.

There’s this passage in James, it goes like this:

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20), NIV)

Anger is not a sin, but sometimes we sin in the methods we choose to display our anger.  Sometimes our methods display anger even when we are not.  Both result in a broken relationship.

I screw up fairly often. I sin.  I make poor choices.  I act out stupidly.  And using my reasoning above, I should be yelled at by Jesus.  But Jesus never yells at me.  That isn’t to say He isn’t dissappointed with my behavior at times.  But He never yells.

Instead, He waits with everlasting patience and love for me to get a hold of my horses, come to my knees and ask Him to forgive me.  Sometimes He allows me to face the consequences of my actions, but He doesn’t raise His voice.

When I sense a broken relationship between God and me it has never been due to Him.  Its always me.  My son thought our relationship was broken, but it wasn’t his fault.  But when my relationship with God is cracked, its because of my own attitudes.

Man’s anger, my anger, does not produce righteousness.  And it harms relationships.  That’s what yelling does.

This post has been cross-posted at Losing the World.

In my time of devotion I came across this verse,

Then I saw an angel coming down from heaven, holding the key of the abyss and a great chain in his hand. And he laid hold of the dragon, the serpent of old, who is the devil and Satan, and bound him for a thousand years. ~ Revelation 20:1–2 (NASB)

And I thought, “That’s a pretty strong angel.”  then my spirit responded, “My strength comes from the Lord.”

God is my strength and power, And He makes my way perfect. ~ 2 Samuel 22:33 (NKJV)

Called to Live Holy; Born into Sin

It’s an interesting question really.  Called to live the Holy Life.  Born into sin.  Where does the strength I need to keep to the process of being made to resemble Christ in character, attitude, action, and thought? Where does my strength come from?

The Lord is my strength and song… ~ Exodus 15:2 (NKJV)

To better understand this, consider that God is present with and in the hearts of all believers. We know from Scripture that Christ holds all things together (Colossians 1:17).  Well Christ is also what empowers us to life eternal.

Just as that luminescent orb set in the chest of Tony Stark kept him alive, it also gave him the power to do amazing things as Iron Man.

So Christ is within us, making us alive when we were dead in sin and then giving us supernatural powers.

Such as the power to do good, in obedience to His will and example, when the mindset and programming of this world is to be self-serving and rebel against anything that is of God.

How do I live the Holy Life, rejecting the passions of the world for the pleasures of the Lord? My strength comes from the Lord.

Memory Verse

The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My God, my strength, in whom I will trust; My shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. ~ Psalm 18:2 (NKJV)

Photo by AlmazUK | Flickr

“…for if it be necessary that we resolve to live well, it is necessary we should do so.” ~ Jeremy Taylor

You’ve given up on gossip.  You’ve been letting go of lust, avoiding temptation and resisting it when it arises.  You’ve resolved to be rescued from your vanity and have sought humbleness.

But then you failed.

You shared someone else’s business.  You used pornography.  You couldn’t be helped but to tell stories that made you look good.

Now you feel terrible, dirty, guilty, unholy, and far from God.

When we sin – either missing the mark when we’re aiming for the bull’s eye or deliberately delving into darkness – we are in rebellion against God.  When that happens we rightly feel sorrow because we are reminded of our own fallenness and God’s holiness.

• We feel stupid for slipping up and sinning.
• We feel guilty for getting it wrong when we know what is right.
• We feel like failures because we know we’ve fooled ourselves.

But God has no desire for us to wallow in our own guilt, sorrow, and pain – even though we are rightly found guilty in our sin.  This is why repentance is such a good and wonderful gift.

“For godly sorrow produces repentance leading to salvation…” ~ 2 Corinthians 2:10.

John came preaching and baptizing, “Repent the kingdom of God is near.”  Its almost as if he were preaching, “Turn from your wrongdoing and pursue right living because the God of Heaven is ready to save you.”

That defines repentance: owning up to our failures (sin) by naming them specifically and then turning away from those actions, thoughts, and attitudes and pursuing – running towards – what is right.

So what do you do when you’ve pursued holiness, yet tripped up, stumbled and failed?

Next time you are in the grips of righteous sorrow, try these.

1.  Run away from the present participation in sinfulness.

You can’t properly repent if you are still in doing the sinful thing you are repenting of.

“Repent for the kingdom of heaven is at hand.” ~ Matthew 3:2

2. Return to doing, thinking, and having an attitude of righteousness.

Get back on track.  See where you’ve failed and make provision not to fail there again.

“Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light.  Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy.  But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lust.” ~ Romans 13:12b-14

From Jeremy Taylor’s, Rules and Exercises for Holy Living:

“He that resolves to live well when danger is upon him… when the appetites of lust are newly satisfied… and yet when temptation comes again, sins again, and then is sorrowful and resolves once more against it, and yet falls when the temptation returns is a vain man… for if it be necessary that we resolve to live well, it is necessary we should do so.”

3. Remember that you are forgiven.

And own it.

“For he who lacks these qualities is blind or short sighted, having forgotten his purification from his former sins.” ~ 2 Peter 2:9

The Holy Life is not about self-righteous, legalistic judgment of ourselves and others.  Its about having a biblically-adjusted, Holy Spirit directed view of ourselves and then living within that scope.

Memory Verse

“Trust in the Lord and do good.  Dwell in the land and cultivate righteousness.” ~ Psalm 37:3

Photo by Auntie P | Flickr

Often times I say the wrong thing. Just the other day my wife J came into the kitchen telling me that she thought she felt a slight earthquake. Instead of taking her concern seriously, as she hoped, I made a joke about flatulence. The wrong time – the wrong words. This is just one of many examples that I see in my own private world that my speech is not holy.

Matthew puts it this way, “But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment.  For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” Mt 12:36–37

So not only did I cause my lovely wife to tear up at my insensitive words, but I’m going to have quite the time giving an account of those and the many other flat out stupid things I say before my Holy Lord.

The Problem: Unedifying Speech

Its a problem because every word spoken is an opportunity taken or lost to build someone up in love – Christian or not – but most of our words are wasted on useless generally unprofitable discourse.

The Oxford dictionary calls things that are edifying those things that “provide moral or intellectual instruction or improvement”.  So something that is unedifying would be that which goes against or is the opposite of good moral improvement.

Of all the ills that we face as Christians, gaining control over our mouths is probably the most difficult but it can be the most rewarding – or the most deadly, if we don’t.

The Spence-Jones Pulpit Commentary on Ephesians spells out three different types of “unedifying speech”:

1. Filthiness:  this is the stuff we say that makes us ashamed of ourselves when our Momma hears it coming out of our mouths.

2. Foolish talking:  this is when what we say makes us out to look just plain stupid and idiotic – like a fool

3. Jesting: these words are usually “witty” in our minds. Some smart response or whatever.  It can also include scoffing and scornful talk, such as when we talk badly about someone or something.

These are pulled from Ephesians 5, whose context is that those that practice such things are not fit for the kingdom of God.

How can I make my speech profitable? To myself? To those that hear me?

We know we cannot fully tame our tongues (James 3:6-8), but we can be purposeful in our parlance.  Here are seven tips that can help you improve your speech:

1. Conscientiously think about what you want to say.

Summon Thumper’s Mom for a moment here and if you can’t think of anything good to say, don’t say anything at all. According to Proverbs 17:28, you can come across as wise if you hold your tongue.

2. Commit Scripture to mind.

And then use it. Dwell on it. Chew it over and really take it for a ride in your thought processes. Take a look at today’s Memory Verse if you need one to start with.

3. Choose to focus on the good.

Frown at gossip or inappropriate banter because your holiness is not worth a cheap laugh.

4. Care about what words you use.

J convicted me on this one because I use words like “your killing me”, “screw that”, and I’ve even had my boss ask me not to use the word “sucks” anymore. They’re both right.  These are all just a very small step above outright cursing and both are due to the fact that I’m being too lazy to think of profitable things to say.

5. Create an atmosphere of righteous speaking.

Let others know that coarse talking is not something that you value and don’t want around you. If they’re friends worth anything, they’ll respect that.  Ask the most quality of friends to keep you accountable in your speech.

6. Condition your speech through practice.

If you say something that you’re immediately embarrassed about, be embarrassed. Apologize for your misstep and give it another go, this time speaking more slowly and thoughtfully.

7. Celebrate when you do well and show yourself mercy when you make a mistake.

“Being holy” is not so much a state of being as much as it is in putting the humanly effort forward to be changed BY God to be more like His son, Jesus Christ.

Memory Verse

Did you know that one the best ways to “fix” our speech is to “fill” our vocabulary with Scripture?  Here is a verse that you can commit to memory:

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ~ Ephesians 4:29 NIV

What do you think?  What ways are you trying to improve your speech?

Your life does not belong to you.  Does that scare you?  It did me.  The very thought that someone other than myself actually owned my body, my thoughts, my emotions, my time, my money, and even my forever frightened me.  How could this true?  I choose when I get up and when I go to bed.  I decide what to eat for breakfast and what clothes to wear.  I chose my job.  I chose my wife.  How then could it be true that my life, that very being that I possess, is not my possession?

Bob Ross Theology, Or “Isn’t that a happy little tree?”

I’ve never been very good painter. I remember watching Bob Ross on PBS when I was younger and thinking that I could paint like him if I just had the right materials.  I didn’t have quality oil paints, but I had the craft store kind that comes in big squeeze bottles.  I didn’t have professional brushes or what’s that knife thing that he used to cut happy little trees into the canvas? Well, I didn’t have one of those either.

That didn’t stop me from pulling out a piece of butcher paper, squeezing some orange and green paint onto a Styrofoam plate, pulling out an actual knife, and to trying to cut my first happy little tree onto the crude paper canvas that was taped to the kitchen wall.

As I made my first incision with a paring knife, ready to sweep the blade in a downward motion to cut my first tree trunk, orange though it was, I actually sliced right through the paper and the tree trunk became an impromptu fresco right there in the middle of Mom’s kitchen.

No matter, I thought, as I went on to paint in clouds and a mountain scene with a deer taking water from a meandering spring.  I delved further and further into my masterpiece mixing up whatever colors I could on that throwaway plate.  When I was through and had brushed my name onto the lower right corner of the work of art, I stood back to admire the creation of my eight year old self.  And I was pleased.

The Creator’s Rights

Today, I might look back at that first creation and realize that my natural scene probably falls closer to abstract art than a realistic depiction of evergreen trees and mountains springs.  But it was my hand and my creativity that made the painting what it was.  No matter the quality or level of expertise, what I had done was mine.  I owned it.

What I chose to do with it, whether giving it to my mother to be framed and hung high above the mantle as a work of absolute art or taped in the even more coveted place of the front of the refrigerator, the choice remained my own.  I could rip it from the wall and throw it in the trash and still be well within my rights as the paintings owner.  Put simply, the creator always has possession of the creation.

The Master Craftsman

You were not created by an amateur when God’s knife cut you from the earth, when He formed you in His hands.  You were made by a master craftsman.  While my trees were all orange, for lack of resources, you are the hue that you all are, because God’s color palette is infinite.

But unlike my painting, you were not created to be hung on a wall, lifeless and stagnant.  You were created for action.  You were created to act on the knowledge of God’s sacrificial love for you and to love Him in return.  That is the greatest commandment.  When God hewn you from the dirt and formed you in your mother’s womb, He did so that you would live a life set apart for Him.

You are not your own because God painted you and despite building inside of you the ability to choose between what is right and what is wrong, you were created to choose what is right.

Despite having the option to reject God, you were created to choose to follow him.

Despite living in a world whose gospel message is that you are your own and can do and live in whatever way pleases you, you were created to be in the world but not follow the world’s pattern. The message that World gives you plain and simple is a lie.

You Were Created for a Purpose

You were created for a purpose and at that moment of salvation, when you passed from death to life, you were made right in God’s sight.  Only at the work of Jesus Christ on the cross and only at the hand of the Maker, the master craftsman, can you ever be truly Holy in God’s sight.  Yet God says in the clearest of language that you are to be holy as He is holy.

If that does not interest you, if deliberately choosing to restructure your life in a way that pleases God above and beyond pleasing yourself, you should close this page and read no further.  This is not for you.

But if you are serious in your desire to live righteously, a life of holiness or in other words, a life set apart from the World, then read on.

What it Will Take

It will take more than just reading God’s word.  It will take more than just prayer.  While we are made righteous because of the blood of Christ, holiness and living the Holy Life requires action.  You got to do something and often times, you got to stop doing some things.

The Holy Life is not something we just dream about or expect God will do entirely for us.  Truly, without the work of the Holy Spirit in you, the Holy Life is not possible.  But the same is true for action on your part.  Without you taking practical steps to aligning yourself with God’s design for your life, Holiness will ALWAYS be beyond your reach.

In the mid 1600’s a pastor, Jeremy Taylor, set out to write down practical wisdom – what he called “rules” – to help his patron live a holy life.  In his Rules and Exercises of Holy Living, Taylor laid out step by step practical tips and suggestions on effectively dealing with the difficulties the obstacles that must be overcome for the Holy Life.  His style of writing is a little outdated, but the rules – those bite-sized chunks of practical wisdom are no more relevant than they are today and in this generation.

My Mission

It is my mission to share that wisdom with today’s world.  I believe that most Christians want to be practical in their faith, but they don’t know how.  Well, I want to learn to be practical too. So let’s do it together.