The HomeSpun Diva

Oh Gay Pride

2011-06-20T13:47:00.000-04:00

So Karol and I (and my si-star in law) went to Gay Pride this weekend in Baltimore. After a weekend of gay I have come to a number of conclusions that I feel need to be shared with others so that they can comment on them:

Karol and I are still cute (according to the random lady at Pride that told us so)
As I have gotten older, I feel that every gay pride I go to is more and more of a shit show. I mean really, why is this ok?
Buckets are good for many things...including being used to sell overpriced drinks to unsuspecting ladies such as myself.
Drag Queens that perform outside at 2pm in the sun on grass in heels are my heroes (or heroines...I'm not sure)
The older I get the tackier I think wearing rainbow paraphernalia is...I KNOW I never did. Karol may have, but very subtly (think a rainbow ring).Nothing like this.
via
Just because you put black tape over your nipples doesn't mean you aren't naked as a jay bird in front of thousands of people. (I was kind enough to black out her face...but she really didn't care about being photographed)
Apparently smoking weed outside at a festival is all the rage...and people don't seem to care if you see them doing it or if there are little kids around. I don't care if ppl smoke...but don't be like that.
Abandoned shopping carts can be turned on their side so that short people can see the stage from the back of the crowd.

Those are the things I have learned from this year's pride.

When left to my own devices

2011-06-17T00:17:00.001-04:00

Sometimes things get a little crazy...and I make rash decisions. One of those decisions was to take the following picture and text it...now I am posting it on the blog. Obviously I don't take myself too seriously!

-Candace

The Land of Enchantment

2011-06-14T15:16:00.000-04:00

" You look so relaxed!"

I should, I havent been at work for a week!

We just got back from our vacation/second honeymoon in New Mexico and it was great. I like to talk in pictures, so here are some from our trip:

Day 1...with a cheese and wine break at the Mauger B&B in Albuquerque. If you are ever in ABQ, stay here!

In Taos, NM...an ancient native american pueblo still inhabited after 1000 yrs!

The Rio Grande Gorge behind us...we also went white water rafting on it (pictures to come soon)

More Taos Pueblo Buildings

Adobe ovens

Beautiful Santa Fe pottery

The "miracle staircase" at the Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe

The San Miguel Mission, called the oldest church in the US...although the people at the St. Francis of Assisi Cathedral disagree...

I love votives! And took pictures of them in every church we went into. These are from the Loretto Chapel.

And in 9 pictures, you went on vacation with us!

More to come soon, but I wanted to get these up!

My week in pictures

2011-06-04T10:07:00.001-04:00

I have been so busy this week it is almost to much, with the holiday weekend Karol and I decided to pack as much fun in as we could... And since we are leaving for New Mexico on wednesday and I will be at a conference in jacksonville on Monday and Tuesday I feel like I barely have any time to get ready for the "second honeymoon". But enough about that... Here is my week in pictures!

We went in the first fruit picking trip of the season!

I made a new friend mr. Billy goat!

We went and saw nkotb and bsb in concert! Loved it!

I made a watermelon basket fruit salad for a BBQ!

We made strawberry jam and it is delicious!

The hbo film "game change" based on the book with the same title was filming at the college I work at. The movie/book are about the McCain/Palin campaign in 2008. Julianne Moore plays Palin, Ed Harris plays McCain and Woody Harrelson plays their campaign manager. The second picture above has Ed Harris way in the back sitting in a chair on the grass.

So that was my week! Hopefully I will be giving a tutorial on how to pack efficiently and get through security fast since in the coming months I will be living at the airport...happy Saturday!

My week in pictures

2011-05-27T22:25:00.003-04:00

I had delicious cookies made by our friend Kate!

I cleaned out a bunch of rooms for the upcoming yard sale

I went to a diner and saw these crazy rat cakes...only on Baltimore

I bought new bath mats...the little things excite me

We went to Amicci's in Baltimore and then had dessert at Vaccaro's and people watched

I organized our kitchen cabinets...finally!

-Candace

Urban Farming before it was cool

2011-05-25T10:40:00.000-04:00

You heard it here first!* I just got an email from my favorite pick your own farm in the Baltimore area, Larriland Farms, that they have strawberries for picking! If you dont know already, I love to pick my own fruit and vegetables. It reminds me of when I was a kid and my mom would take us to go strawberry, apple and/or peach picking.

Growing up in Chicago, my mom really wanted to let us know that there was more than just concrete and trees confined to grated piles of dirt. When we moved into our first house she decided that she was going to have her own urban farm before it was the hipster thing to do. In her small yard on the southwest side of Chicago she grew huge sunflowers and dreid the seeds, corn, strawberries, broccoli (which she rotated with spinach the following season**), all kinds of peppers***, peaches. potatoes, tomatoes and every herb imaginable. She canned all kinds of foods and stored them in our unfinished basement all winter. She would make salsas, canned peaches, spaghetti sauces and all kinds of other things. I don't remember seeing her do it, but I do remember having to carry all the jars up and down the rickety stair case that led to the basement. Being so far from home, I had to rediscover the joys of fresh picked foods and canning on my own, with the occasional call back to Chicago to ask my mom for tips.

So here is to my mom, for being green before it was cool, teaching me about being self sustainable and for looking awesome in this sombrero with my nephew!

*Ok, maybe you heard it somewhere else first...
** This is what I remember, but I was young and could be wrong
***She is a short mexican lady that loves spicy stuff

My week in Pictures

2011-05-20T12:37:00.000-04:00

Here is my week in pictures

Jorge and I slept in on Saturday...

Karol's birthday was on Monday and we went to fogo de chao on Sunday to celebrate and we ate toooooo much meat

On Monday I went to a random pet store and spent some time with this cutie!

On Tuesday I was bored at work so I decided to make cute little creatures to keep me entertained.

On Wednesday I cleaned out our second bedroom and started working on our stash of stuff for our yard sale.

On Thursday I took bags and bags of clothes to be donated!

Today, Friday is graduation at the college that I work at. They always have bag pipes...why I don't know.

Who knows what tomorrow holds!

Reflections of a clutter bug

2011-05-19T19:17:00.001-04:00

So as I have been cleaning out my house and making piles of things to sell at this maybe yard sale I have come across a number of things that I had forgotten I had. Sometimes I think that the things that I have forgotten in my closets are metaphors that I have forgotten in my own life or for how I have been forgotten in other people's lives. Here are the reflections I had today from cleaning/organizing

I found a lot of old pictures from high school and college of people that I used to have really great relationships with, but now those relationships have either completely fizzled or have really just become facebook fantasies.

I also found my old Frenchie doll that my parents got me in high school while I was going to beauty school. I think it was their subtle way of letting me know hat they expected me to finish and get my license and not be a beauty school drop out. it also got me thinking about how different my life would be if I had not gone to college an I had just become a stylist instead...

As I was sorting through all the books that we have it brought me back to all the classes in college that I took, in particular with a professor named Donald Hodges who can only be described as a crazy old man who got kicked out of the communist party twice and as a child in Argentina his parents enrolled him in the Nazi youth!*

I found our beach umbrella that we got when we were in college and we would visit Karol's family in Miami and go to the beach and eat Publix sub sandwiches and gallons of sweet tea.

I also found the only thing that I own of my grandma Connie: a stuffed animal of a white and gray cat from the ASPCA. I remember getting it after she died and also remember her having it sit on the top of her couch like it was a real cat.

The things in our closets often reveal more about yourself than the things you put out for others to see...

*he told us all kinds of crazy stories...those were just the most outrageous

I mean it...

2011-05-17T15:21:00.001-04:00

I could be a hoarder if i allowed myself to be. I really and truly have come to the realization that we have too much stuff. Not stuff that serves us any real purpose but just plain old stuff. We have too many closets in our apartment and it makes it easy for us to forget about things and never use them. Here is an example: I just cleaned out the closet in our second bedroom and found 19 bags...bags from conferences, promotional giveaways, laptop bags, gym bags, etc and we don't use any of them. I also found 8 sets of linens that don't fit our bed. So after much contemplation a on my part I have decided that we need to have a yard sale...except we don't have a yard. Thankfully our amigos Georgann and Kate have one that they have graciously agreed to let us borrow foe a weekend. Yesterday I left work early to get to work on this project and as I am sure you know whenever you really start to go through and clean things it gets worse before it gets better. Here is a picture of the worse.

Here is a picture of the better(ish)

(don't forget we live in a res hall so our second bedroom is decorated using the college dorm room sheek trend)

So I will be going room by room and like a hurricane making it rain organization. In the end I hope to have some gems for this yard sale. I will keep you posted.

Oh blogger

2011-05-17T13:58:00.000-04:00

So summer is upon us. And I know that I haven't been here for over a month. Things have been crazy. Work has sucked every ounce of energy I have and then some and I basically only have time to sleep and play words with friends*. But with summer comes lots of free time, trips, jam sessions** and craziness. So here is what I have to look forward to this summer:

An upcoming second honeymoon to Taos, NM. I had never heard of it before, but like I briefly mentioned in a previous post, Karol and I were on a tv show (air date to come) and as part of our gift we received a second honeymoon. In my voracious search for knowledge about the place I have learned a lot. For one, "Taos Pueblo is the only living Native American community designated both a World Heritage Site by UNESCO and a National Historic Landmark. " Here are some pictures...from the interwebz. We haven't been there yet, but rest assured we will have lots of pictures to share.

The sister in law is coming to visit! There should be many trips to the farm to pick berries to make jams, maybe some tubing and most assuredly some bbq!

A trip to the Dominican Republic! One of Karol's sorority sisters is getting married and having a destination wedding. I would post pics of the place, but you can visit the site here http://www.dreamsresorts.com/drepb/photo-gallery.html We have never been to the DR and we are super excited! I want to be a bronzed beauty....or at least bronzed!

I am also making my way up to Boston to spend time with the bro and step mom while he visits Boston College! We will be there over the 4th of July weekend. Who could ask for a better time to visit Boston!

Auctions, garage sales and the like

Purging my house of all the things we dont use/dont need!

More jamming

A new tattoo...

So be on the look out friends! Summer is here!

*I have my priorities straight, don't worry. I mean, what is more important than scoring 99 points for one word?
**And by jam sessions, I mean making as much jam as possible in my 8x6 kitchen.

My current obsession: my new iPhone

2011-04-13T14:58:00.001-04:00

I finally caved and got an iPhone. After wishing I had one, secretly looking into switching to AT&T and thanking the stars the Verizon got it I went and got one last Friday. Here is what I have been doing with it

Instagr.am
via www.snapfinch.com
I have been taking pictures like crazy with this FREE app.
I had been looking for a way Instagr.am pics could be seen on a pc/mac and then I found Snapfinch which basically pulls your instragr.am feed and makes a snapfinch photo feed. Check mine out below.

Labelbox
Continuing on with the photo apps, I started using Labelbox to put cute lables on my photos.

Here is an example

Words with Friends
I love word games! Especially scrabble and boggle. So a free iphone app where I can play with my brother/cousin/friend all day is perfect! I had previously downloaded it onto my iPad, but it is so much easier to play on your phone since I have it with me all the time. If you wanna play a game let me know...my UN is homespundiva...duh

Foursquare

Ok, I finally am doing foursquare...even after I have been hating on it and saying I think it is creepy. I still think it is sorta creepy but now that I know I can compete with my friends to have the most points and badges my inner competitive streak has taken over! I constantly am checking in...which I am sure annoys all my friends.

Key Ring

As you may already be aware, I love store loyalty cards, but they always get in the way of my keys. So now I am using the Key Ring app. I love it. you just use your phone to scan the code on you cards and it uploads into your phone and saves the data!

So basically, I have been deeply entrenched in my phone...like the nerd I am.

Update Y'all

2011-04-06T20:38:00.000-04:00

So since my last post I have been a busy gal. Here, in classic Candace bullet form is what I have been up to:

Spent a week at a national conference hosted in Baltimore for college student personnel peeps and now have a new found respect for commuter students. Let me tell you, having a national conference in the place where you live should be easy, but instead of being able to go back to your ~~dorm~~ hotel room you have to hang around the convention center ALL DAY. And by all day I mean I left the house at 6am and got back around 11:30pm each night, just to do it all over again. Oh, and I mostly was interviewing people for jobs my office has open, so I didnt even get to get my professional development learn on. I did however get to present a session on using technology in student affairs with the wifey. She was "primary presenter" and I was "additional presenter" which means I basically stressed her out by being to busy to help put the finishing touches on the presentation.
We found out when the new season of the Marriage Ref will be on. You might ask why this is important. Well...Karol and I are going to be on it! I realized that I havent really written about the whole thing on here at all...but that is for another post. Long story short, NBC thought we were funny enough to put on tv. The shows start airing in June. I will let you know when our episode is on so you can have a premier night with your cats.
I have been working...alot! and by alot I mean I was in the office until 1:30am last night and I am still here now. I have been making some banging posters for events we are having at the college I work at. I havent figured out how to share them on here since they are PDFs...but when I do you will be the first to know.
I am going to see Snoop Dogg at the end of the month with the wife, and the lovelies over at onecatperperson . I've got the "hook up" as the young kids say and we may get to meet him!
Oh, and last but not least, we had wedding 2.0! Here are some pics:

Practicing our poses before the ceremony

Trying not to laugh as we make faces at each other

And then, after the officiant said "by the power vested in me by the District of Columbia and the United States Congress" we officially gave DOMA (the Defense of Marriage Act) the big F* You! Oh and we celebrated our love for one another!

The lovelies and our biffles from one cat per person

Our paparazzi and biffle Darci from I Am Witness Photography

The lovely lunch crew back in Bawlmer at the B&O Brassiere

After some costume changes it was on to Monday Afternoon drinks and dinner at City Cafe

and toasting

and the saltiest, nastiest, most delicious extra dirty martini a girl could ask for!

Ok, Ididnt want to leave you hanging

What I Do In My Free Time

2011-03-24T16:55:00.000-04:00

Sometimes I like to play dress up, and sometimes the cats get freaked out:

I fancy myself a graphic designy type...maybe

2011-03-22T09:27:00.000-04:00

So, first let me put out there that I have absolutely no formal training whatsoever in any type of graphic design. Ok, now that that is out there let me also say that I wish I was. There are a couple of reasons for this. First, I like to make things. Second I like computers. Third I think of myself as sorta artsy. Fourth I love beautiful print and web design.

Now I don't have the money to spend on the fancy shamnsy programs that a lot of graphic designers use so I have spent a lot of time trying to find alternatives that get the job done but for free. Here is what I found:

Inkscape: A linux based free ware vector graphics editor...basically a poor man/woman's version of Adobe Illustrator, Corel Draw, Freehand, or Xara X. Half of those programs I have never seen, but I have seen and tried to use Adobe Illustrator. I prefer Inkscape over Illustrator...but maybe that is because since I use Inkscape so much. I use this program a lot! Like I said, I fancy myself an amateur graphic designer and have recently made some bomb posters for our office for events we are having in the spring.

Gimp: Another free ware program that is a raster editor, meaning when you use it you are performing operations directly on the pixels of an image. If there were an evolutionary chain of raster editing Microsoft Paint would be an amoeba and programs like this and Adobe Photoshop would be humans.

Scribus: This is the newest addition to my free ware linux repertoire. It is another open source application which is similar to Adobe In design. You can use this program to create publications and other documents. I actually just used to to create my resume again...awesome!

I think that with a little time and patience most people can become somewhat proficient in these programs. I don't really ever know what I am doing, but I am ok with having some bumps along the learning process if I can make some really nice looking publications and not have to rely on some junky word template.

I just thought I would share these with y'all...and hopefully y'all have some other programs that I should look into...

Dont be a drag, just be a queen

2011-03-21T09:16:00.002-04:00

So...the conference that I am so excited to go to is just around the corner. Now, don't get me wrong, there are lots of things about the conference that I love. Seeing people I like, learning new things at conference presentations, doing my own presentation and....a conference Drag Show! Now...mind you it is not an "official" conference drag show, but rather a fund raiser that one of the committees does each year. This year I have the pleasure of once again being the makeup artist for one of our friends who used to live in Baltimore but now resides on the West Coast. He and I have a pact that if he does drag I will make him look fabulous. Not to toot my own horn but I do some good drag makeup. I don't have any pictures from the last time we did this...which was 3 years ago (I think), but I think it was pretty good and I believe that my makeup doing abilities have only gotten better since then. In addition, the wifey will be doing drag for the very first time ever at the conference drag show. We ordered her a fabulous wig from here and she has been practicing these moves

I can't wait to have pics from the evening to share with all of bloglandia! Karol is super nervous...but I think she will do just fine! She has natural swagger and it will help her boatloads. I wont be doing her makeup because, honestly drag king makeup is not my forte. In fact, drag kings actually are sort of a little bit a mystery to me still. I mean, I get drag queens and love them. In fact, I was having a conversation with my friend Josh (the other half of OCPP) when I was over at their house the other day and he and I both came to the conclusion that drag queens, particularly the high glam drag queens, have morphed into more than just merely an over exaggerated representation of femininity but rather they are more than that. These drag queens are something entirely different and amazing and beautiful. It is true performance art and the characters and personas that these drag queens take on are in of themselves wholly different then just an expression of femininity. The performances are perfect, the makeup to die for and the aura indescribable. If you haven't been to a really go drag show you need to find one and get yourself down there because there is a real difference between drag queens that perform and are ok and drag queens that give it their all! If you have seen one you know what I mean.

Ok so enough about my over the top love from drag queens. So excited for the show this year! Angie and Josh from OCPP are coming to the show to support the wifey...and to see college vice presidents dress in drag...

On feeling Insecure

2011-03-19T11:11:00.000-04:00

Via

Often times I find myself trying really hard to present myself in a way that makes me feel that no one can tell the real truth: that I am super insecure with myself...about a lot of things that probably don't matter in the long run but matter to me in the moment.

Here is what got me thinking about this.

So 10 days I will be at a national conference (which ps doesn't feel so "national" when it is in the city you live in but that is neither here nor there) where I will get to see lots and lots of people from my profession that I haven't seen all year. With that comes all kinds of excitement and happiness but also a lot of worry and insecurity. You see, I work in a field that has a lot of "type a" personalities and "people person"s and "extroverts" and I tend to be less of a people person and more of an introvert. The conference can end up being one huge hug fest in which everyone is excited to see everyone, excited to meet new people and where people attend social after social in the evenings. Here is where my hang ups are in this

Like I said, I am an introvert and I think that sometimes I can come off as "unfriendly" or "uninviting". I don't think that those are me at all and I think that if you asked the people that are closest to me they would agree. That doesn't negate the fact that I am worried that people perceive me that way. It worries me so much so that i bought this for Kindle App. It's lame, I know...but the conference is all about talking to people, being friendly and engaging and la la la. All of which I either struggle with or worry that I don't do well.

Via

When I am at the conference I feel like I am constantly being judged or scanned to see if I am "cool enough" to talk to or be seen with. Lets face it folks, who knows if I am...but I get sucked into the trap of wanting to feel like I am. So instead of saying to myself that I am someone that other people should want to get to meet, I try really hard to make myself appear that way. I have, for the past 4 years, decided that I need to have new clothes for the conference. I am not talking about a new suit or shoes...but completely new outfits for each day and each major event. Last year I had the "indie/hipster/too cool for school look down to a tee. I know I know...lame and self absorbed and stupid. But I find myself worries about how all the other kids on the school yard are going to respond to me after not seeing me for a year...so I decide to look my best...so to speak. I have already done my shopping for the conference for this year (you can see some of the stuff I bought here)...bleh! I feel stupid for thinking this and for doing it but I still do it. I also have on my agenda to get new glasses. Partly because I haven't gotten a new pair in 5 years and partly because I want to look "cool". I also will be getting a hair cut for the same reasons...except replace 5 years with 1 year.

While I want to feel like I am a part of the "in crowd" at this thing...I also want to avoid having meaningless interactions like the plague. I did I really good job at that last year...by holing myself up in the career fair most of the time and doing interviews for my office. Not because I don't want to be seen, but rather there are some people that I have come across that I would rather not see. Everyone has a nemesis...or two...and at a conference like this you cant give them the cold shoulder or you will be cast out like you belonged on the island of misfit toys. Instead you have to play along with the niceties and ask mundane questions about how they are doing etc etc etc. I would much rather avoid this ...but alas I do not believe that this will be the case.

I'm awkward. Lets be real about that. I get sweaty palms, I jumble my words, I laugh at the wrong times...or too loudly, or I talk about things no one else finds interesting. Lots of people don't get me...and this conference makes me abundantly aware of that. And while I try not to be awkward it just makes me more awkward. Also, I like to talk a lot of shit.

Via

And so every year I struggle with this. Trying not to be awkward, making "small talk" being social. At the end of it all I think I love the conference because I do get to see people that I like...and have missed all year. But gosh do I work myself up about it.

Oh and ps. The wifey is none of these things...and she also goes to the annual conference...which is great...

Why you should care about public broadcasting

2011-03-18T09:49:00.001-04:00

So you may have noticed right over there...on the right hand side of the page that I have added a widget for raising awareness about saving funding for public broadcasting. I have been in love with public broadcasting since I have been 6 years old. When other kids were watching Disney movies I wanted to watch Nova and Mystery! (which I always tried to describe the intro sequence to people...and they never seem to know what I am talking about...so here it is)

I loved watching Sesame Street and Arthur and always thought that when I had kids I would be able to let them watch the same types of programs. I can't imagine future generations not having access to the educational awesomeness of pbs. Seriously, where else do kids hear about people living with HIV or AIDS...granted Kami was a puppet in African version of Sesame Street...but you get my drift.

I mean, what will they watch...oh I know...more of the same crap that doesn't teach them anything. I mean, education can be entertaining. Look at this segment on how crayons were made. No need for words...as the process speaks for itself. But an awesome soundtrack never hurts.

Now that I am a grown up* I still love Nova and constantly download podcasts for Wait Wait Dont Tell Me, dream of seeing the Prairie Home Companion and of having Carl Kasell record my outgoing voicemail message. When I was in college I had to work at a receptionist desk on the weekends from 7pm until 11pm. There was nothing really in the office to entertain me besides the radio. And the same songs playing on top 40 radio gets old...so NPR was my saving grace. Saturday nights were much happier because of Garrison Keillor and Lake Wobegon. And let us not forget the oh so wonderful sounds of my Ira Glass on This American Life. I mean, before hipsters were hipsters Ira was making me swoon with his unique story telling, voice and his black rimmed glasses. And let us not forget the salt and pepper hair.

Via

And whether or not you like her voice (or her), you have to admit that Diane Rehm is a bad b*tch. For someone that has spasmodic dysphonia she is still able to host an uber popular program...well I wish I was such a bad ass.

Basically,what I am saying is that public broadcasting is super important. With federal funding they have more freedom to present what they want without pressure from more corporate sponsors. the Corporation for Public Broadcasting is amazing and essential and important to the public discourse. And they also provide some great/funny/interesting/heady programming which seems to missing everywhere else. I mean where else can you watch a show based on Agatha Christie (who is awesome ps)! So, if the money really disappears, you need to go here and here.

Oh, I almost forgot. Mr. Rogers! I mean the sweater, the loafers, the sneaks. I found this online...Fred at a senate subcommittee meeting in 1969 when he was fighting for funding.

I also found this...man he was cool!

So basically, we need public broadcasting. Without it the tv and radio will be devoid of some of the most educational and interesting programming out there. This plus funding for planned parenthood being cut...I feel like the rug is being pulled out from underneath us.

Getting Married...again

2011-03-17T09:30:00.003-04:00

I don't know if I should feel super excited about getting married in DC or if I should just think of it as a formality. With the recent deflation of the marriage bill in Maryland (you can read about it here), Karol and I are glad we didn't decide to wait for Maryland to get its act together. People asked me why we just didn't wait for the bill to pass in Maryland. My response was that if it passed it wouldn't go into effect until October 2011 at the earliest and we wanted to get married before then. What I really wanted to say was that you can never be sure of anything and I wasn't about to wait to see. And unfortunately I was right in my thinking that Maryland might not be added to the short list this year.

Ok, so now that I got that out of the way, I am struggling with what level of excitement I should have over our pending "nuptials". To us, we are already married. We did all the wedding stuff-catering, dressing up, guest lists, photographers, etc-and I am really not interested in doing anything like that again. Shoe string budget is what I want. Our friend Darci has graciously offered to take photos the day of, which will be wonderful to have. Our biffle aka bffl aka best friend for life aka Angie thinks it will be fun for us to have a bachelorette party again...but this time together. I might be leaning towards a yes on this...mainly because I love bachelorette parties and also because I love Angie.

And then there is the issue of what to wear. I mean, like I said, I am not looking to wear a wedding dress. I already did that...and I am not about to do it again. But then again I think it might be fun/funny to wear one. But I also think that I want to wear something simple that I can feel comfortable in so that when we have our lunch I won't bust out of the seams. I don't have any options lined up what so ever. Karol says she is going to wear the suit that she wore at our commitment ceremony. I probably won't get anything until the weekend before...which is typical for me.*

We are going to have 15 guests, since that is the maximum allowed for the court house. Our families can't come because of the short notice, which we really aren't that torn up about because they were at our commitment ceremony. Like I said...I sorta have mixed emotions about how excited or not excited to be about the whole thing.

Overall, we are glad to be able to be getting a marriage license. I plan on framing it and hanging it in the apartment. I think the excitement that I do have around it is related to the fact that we will no longer be legal strangers (granted in some states even being married in another state still means nothing). My excitement is related to the idea that finally I can say we are "married" without having to follow it up with, "well, not legally".

*I wrote this post last weekend and since then have found a dress for a whole $20 at Marshalls. Here it is:

Relationship Weirdness

2011-03-16T09:12:00.000-04:00

I think (although I could be wrong, because I have never asked) that most couples have things that only they really know about...those things that they only do together and have never done with anyone else. Now, don't take that to the gutter...what I am talking about are the weird little personal things that before you got married/partnered up that you only did alone. I have lots of them, as does Karol. We often find ourselves saying to one another that we must love each other because we are comfortable doing *insert weird thing here* in front of one another.

I have come to realize that these little things are the things that shape a relationship. The things that you don't think about are the things that shape how you and your spouse share your life together. I have come to realize that being able to be who you truly are in front of the person that you love is so important when it comes to having a deep and meaningful relationship. I have met many couples or halves of a couple that seem to not be 100% honest/genuine/real with their partner, which is just so foreign to me. I mean, if there is anyone who should know everything about you-who you are, what makes you tick, how you might respond-and can appreciate all that you bring to the table. I have known a lot of women who have said to me that there are still things that they won't do in front of their significant other. How could you say that someone is your "better half" or that they "complete you" but you hide certain things from them or your don't let them know all about your past or your dreams for your future? I have seriously had people say to me "Oh, I could never tell them that...what would they think?" or " I have never done *insert behavior here* in front of them...that would just be weird". Maybe it is just me, but that is weirder than not feeling comfortable doing or saying something...if you are sleeping with someone and going through life with them don't you think you should be able to, oh I don't know, pee in front of them?

I have seen that as Karol and I have been together we have developed some serious relationship quirks. Some have funny stories behind them and others really have no explanation. Regardless of how we have come to have them a a part of our relationship, we notice them often, or at least I do and think they are cute and funny. One of the first things that I ever noticed that we had as a quirk has to do with who turns off the lights when we go to bed. As we would get ready for bed we would race to get into bed and under the covers because it was an unspoken rule that which ever one of us was last to get into bed was the one that had to turn off the lights. Many a ridiculous spat were over who would turn off the lights. Karol even decided that an excellent Christmas present would be the Clapper because she thought that it would solve all kinds of late night issues. I on the other hand could not understand why the Clapper would be the best Christmas gift ever. That is how the smallest of quirks can transform into memorable stories.

One of the other things that is weird and unique to us is that when one of us burps (which we all do) the other says "I love you too". I think that for us what we are saying to one another is "Don't worry, I don't care if you just burped and maybe it sounded super gross...I still love you anyway". I mean, I have burped in front of other people and I say excuse me profusely, but if it is just me and Karol there are no excuse me's...in fact there is the expectation that Karol will say ""I love you" and if she doesn't I say "Um, didn't you hear me burp?" and she does the same. Weird...yes. Honest...you better believe it. Endearing...we seem to think so.

If we are the only one's that have these weird little quirks, than so be it, but I am pretty sure that we are not. I just think that most couples don't share with other people or couples that they have these little quirks. Maybe it is because they want to keep it private and just between them. Maybe it is because they think that other people will think it is weird (which they might). I don't know. What I do know is that I am so happy to have the little quirks that we have.

Gayby Dreams

2011-03-15T09:12:00.000-04:00

So I think I have mentioned a total of two times on here that Karol and I are trying to get pregnant. Which is crazy and amazing all at the same time. We had been talking about having a baby for some time, but we didn't start trying until January. We don't know a lot of other couples that have kids or that are a same sex couple that has had kids so we are sorta feeling our way through all of this blindly. We have found some resources at the bookstore and online, but it is hard to really be able to process what we are trying to do when we basically are the only people in our circle of friends that are embarking on this. I mean, I think that there is a definite difference between straight couples trying to get pregnant and what we have to do from the outset. I know that there are many straight couples that struggle with infertility and have to use alternative insemination methods in order to get pregnant. But from the outset things are difficult for us.

When I first went to my primary care physician to talk to her about what I wanted to do she looked like a deer caught in headlights with no real answers for me. When we tried to get an appointment with a reproductive endocrinologist they wouldn't even see us without a referral from my doctor, and she would not give me one because she said she couldn't say I was infertile. She said that the only way that she could say that I was infertile was if I had been having sex for 6 months without being able to get pregnant. My response to that was: how might you like me to go about doing that since I don't have sex with men? She had no answer. Needless to say I have not been back to see her and need to find a new doctor.

I was able to find a wonderful OBGYN that has worked with countless same sex couples trying to get pregnant. She is direct, helpful and very knowledgeable and I sometimes think she wants me to get pregnant as much as we do. The best quote from one of my visits to her office was when one of the med tecs was trying to take my blood, which is challenging, and once she was able to get my blood she said "When you get pregnant I am going to just send you down to the lab." All I could think to myself was "When I get pregnant...oh how I can't wait!"

I won't share with you some of the more graphic details about how we get pregnant, but I will say that it often times feels like our life has been reduced to a 10 day span of awkward moments and funny stories we will share with each other for the rest of our lives.

Songs for a life

2011-03-14T09:15:00.001-04:00

I have come to realize that I have a serious obsession with music. I love music-song, lyrics, melody, harmony, message, interpretation, rhythm, beat. My music tastes have evolved over the years, as I am sure lots of peoples have, but there are still songs that have special meaning to me and cause me to go back to a particular place. I think that the songs that mean a lot to a person can really tell you also about them. Here are mine:

Twisted by Keith Sweat
Ok, so this might not be the most musically sophisticated song. In fact, Keith is struggling with notes that I think are way outside of his range. But 1996 was a good year. I was in 8th grade, getting ready to go to high school and I think I was really starting to come into my own. Thinking back on all that was my early teen years I think about my very close friends Lea and Jackie* (even back then I really didn't have lots of friends but rather I had very intense friendships with one or two people) and how we would sit in Lea's bedroom and sing all the most awesome R&B songs that played on the radio.

Feels Like Home by Chantal Kreviazuk
For the longest time I didn't know who sung this song or that it was a cover of a Randy Newman song. I first heard the song on Dawson's Creek, which ps I used to plan my after school job schedule around Dawson's Creek. Anyway, I never dated in high school, in fact I didn't date at all until college. All of my friends in high school were dating and all I could think to myself is that I wished I was comfortable enough with myself to be open to dating. And I dreamed of the day that I would have someone in my life that made me feel like this song described. I may have had to wait a little while but I was lucky enough to be blessed with Karol.

More than Words by Extreme
I went to college far far away from home. I'm originally from Chicago and went to college in Florida. While I was in high school I was recruited to Florida State. Not for athletics or anything...please!! For academics. So at 18 I moved 20 hours away from my family to a school where I knew no one and that I had been to one time (orientation). My first semester there I had some serious homesickness. Whenever I was homesick I would listen tho this song. Why? Well, because it is my dad and stepmom's wedding song. Listening to it would make me feel better and remind me that I had a family that loved me and wanted me to the best I could be.

In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel
When Karol and I first began dating she told me that she had not come out to her parents, yet. She and I talked long and hard about how it was important to be open and honest with our families about who we are and the love that we had for one another. So, Karol decided that she was going to tell her parents. Telling her mom went off with no issues, but telling her dad was a little more difficult. After she told her dad she called me. She was in Miami and I was in Tallahassee waiting for her to return. She was in tears as she described how difficult the conversation was. As she told me what had happened I was in my car driving somewhere and listening to the radio. While she was sharing the story In Your Eyes came on and I felt compelled to tell her that the song described perfectly how I felt about her and, as cheesy as this may sound, I started to sing it to her over the phone. And then I started to cry and she kept crying. From then on it was our song and we danced to it for our first dance at our commitment ceremony.

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These are the songs that when I hear I think of my life. Not about the artist or the video but I see my life as the song plays. What songs have made their stamps on your life? What song takes you back to a day or time?

*I think that Lea and Jackie read ye olde blog...

Changing Directions

2011-03-13T10:47:00.000-04:00

So lately I have been thinking about how I can continue to be motivated and excited about writing this blog. I started this blog as a sort of crafty blog. But lets be honest. I like to craft but I am not the queen bee of crafting. I mean how can I compare to people like this, this or this. I don't have the real time to craft full time, nor do I really have the super talent. And that's ok. I like to craft because it is fun...and I would rather learn from the experts than try to pass my self as one.

So since I have come to this realization I have been sorta struggling to find a new direction for the blog. I mean, do people really want to read about my life? Maybe. But that means I really have to share big time on here. I think for some people sharing through a blog is easy...but for me I really don't share...unless I am about 4 glasses of wine in or super comfortable with someone. Which both don't really happen alot of the time. So...I think I have to really take a chance on here and open up. About my life, about my thoughts, about my marriage and about the randomness that runs through my head each and every day. But I know that this will be extremely difficult.

And by difficult I mean that I struggle with sharing what is close to my heart with the people that are closest to me. I keep people at a distance. I don't open up to many people. I probably can count on one hand the number of people that really know me and the whole story of me. So thinking about putting it out there for all to read and know and discover is scary and unknown and makes me feel more vulnerable than I am comfortable with. But...being able to share all that is me and provide a voice to experiences and feelings and thoughts that might not otherwise be heard or shared also provides me with a sense of calm and excitement at the same time. Maybe I'm not the only one thinking or feeling the things that I do on a day to day basis. Maybe I'm not the only one that has had the experiences I have had, and maybe by sharing I can learn more about myself and process my past, my present and my future with people who might offer me some real insights.

So really what I am trying to say here is that I think that my blog will be less about craftiness and more about what is meaningful to me. Hopefully you will continue reading...

Paperless invites

2011-03-12T09:06:00.003-05:00

So, as was announced on my facebook (which is the official record of my life ps...in addition to this blog), Karol and I announced that we are slated to get married in DC on April 4th. Unlike our commitment ceremony we are doing this on a shoe string budget. 15 people max and lunch instead of fancy caterers and cocktails. We have a few people that we want there. Now we could just send these people emails saying "Hey, wanna come to DC while we get our piece of paper?" but I wanted a little more fancy...but I didnt want to waste postage and paper on invites...so we used Paperless Post to send invites to our biffles (that would be our best friends for life). Here is the invite we sent out:

So do you think our online invites are tacky or eco-sheik?

Fashionista Wannabe

2011-03-11T08:40:00.000-05:00

So I definitely dream of myself as a fashion forward girl that can turn heads. But I often face the struggle of finding pieces that fit me well instead of look like a house dress. I recently have purchased a couple of things that I believe will increase my fashion quotient. Let me know what you think:

From Asos and their Asos Curve line

From Torrid

I might have a thing for black lace...

New Tattoo Ideas

2011-03-10T09:31:00.000-05:00

I have been getting a little itchy...a little antsy so to speak. I have been talking for probably the last year about getting another tattoo. I have many ideas about what I would want to get...and I would love some feedback about which one of these you think would be more awesome. Here are some ideas:

The starting of a sleeve on my right arm with this or something like it:

via

Or a large lotus flower across my chest with some design work behind it. The colors might be a little different...who knows.

Or maybe a Maryland tribute tattoo...or a Baltimore one.

Via