The Hottie Hunter

Hottie Hunter Ends

2008-08-13T20:30:00.003-05:00

After much deliberation and drinking, the Hottie Hunter has come to the sad conclusion that there simply is not enough time in the day to keep up his duties as Superman and Hottie Hunter. So a tough choice was made.

Goodbye Hottie Hunter fans. Enjoy the archives.

Hottie Hunting and Getting Fit

2008-05-22T18:16:00.001-05:00

My guy over at Docksquad's Sports World turned me on to this slick vid. I've gotta say that if fat dudes worked out and this was their reward, ours would be a nation of skinny people.

Tube Top Pilates - Watch more free videos

Hottie Hunter - TAP THAT LINK

2008-05-22T09:00:00.001-05:00

Hottie Hunting is a freaking phenomenon. And I'm happy to live it. Check out these Hottie Hunters for some intermission entertainment:

The Angry T has hot drunk girls at a horse race.

Epic Carnival presents tennis hotties and why we should care.

Hottest Girls of MySpace snagged a HOTTT Brazilian Barbie.

COED Magazine has the 50 hottest WAGS.

Mac G wants you to smell that Kentucky blue Moss.

Hump Day Hottie Hunting

2008-05-21T11:58:00.007-05:00

So its Hump Day and I'm sure you can figure out what the Hottie Hunter does on days like this. So I won't dwell on it. My people over at College on the Record have come through with another SMOKIN HOTTIE. Meet Chelsy. She's representing Ohio State University, which we all know is a Hottie haven.

So this is Chelsy calling the Hottie Hunter and planning a special evening for just the two of us. And her sorority sisters of course. See that kiss? That was just for me. Don't be hatin'.

So this is how I caught Chelsy. On top of a walrus. It was love at first sight. How could you resist that smile?

Seriously, how could you resist that smile?

The Hottie Hunter encourages female intra-gender oral curiosity. And Chelsy seems to like it. Damn, I need to take a trip back to OSU. Chelsy, send me an invite. The Hottie Hunter is always looking for a good time. And I know from experience, OSU is packed with good times.

Hunting Baseball Fan Hotties

2008-05-20T07:28:00.000-05:00

Baseball is a great sport for summer. Who doesn't want to hit the ballpark, chug a beer, and partake in some hotties? Baseball parks are a Hottie Hunter's wet dream. There's a huge overflow of hotties. And I've managed to trap some for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy:

Oh my god this chick is blazing HOT. The Hottie Hunter must find this woman. Holy crap.

If you've got any hottie Baseball fans, send em my way. The summer is young. For now.

Hottie Hunter Reconnects

2008-05-14T22:34:00.007-05:00

Hottie Hunter's prolonged absence has taken a toll on his connections. So I'm here today to journey to my roots and find that which made the Hottie Hunter so great: THE PEOPLE. Yes, the people kept my Hottie Hunting alive while I nearly perished. So check out these Hottie Hunter approved links and bask in the glory of nature at its absolute best -

On 205th is a great fucking site. They've got a Hottie sanctuary on their website and I need to visit more often. See what I mean?

Hottest Girls of MySpace is legendary. Trust me. See below:

Busted Coverage is another Hottie Hunting elite site. Hot chicks and sports. Sick combination.

I've got plenty more sites to thank for keeping the Hottie Hunting alive. Stay tuned for more Hottie Hunting.

Meanwhile, the Hottie Hunter needs a Hottie of the Week. Send suggestions to hottiehunterforlife@gmail.com.

Hottie Hunter LIVES

2008-05-13T21:51:00.006-05:00

The rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. The Hottie Hunter finally escaped the clutches of adult life after kicking it in the balls. So have no fear, the Hottie Hunter is not queer. I'm back by popular demand. My inbox has been overflowing with fan mail and hottie suggestions. Its time to bring back what once was a legend in the making. Let the Hottie Hunting resume!

First, lets give some quick shout outs -

A big thank you goes to College on the Record for this Hottie:

Her name is Amber and its just what the Hottie Hunter ordered after such a prolonged absence.

And another thank you goes to Dynasty Reps for this killer cutie:

My God that is a Hottielicious specimen. Her name is Lauren Stevens. But you can call her Hottie Hunter property. Hottie Hunting has its rewards my friends. And she is definitely rewarding.

Stay tuned loyal Hottie Hunters. There's more to come....

Sexual Sunday

2008-04-06T10:23:00.002-05:00

Hottie Hunters everywhere rejoice. Enjoy this video and its exotic incarnations. I know I did. Over and over again.

Tap That Link!

2008-03-18T19:54:00.004-05:00

Here's some Hottie Hunter approved links for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy -

1. Why Women Are Whores - The Worst Breed of Whore.

2. Hottest Girls of MySpace - Christina Hall needs to meet me.

3. TastyBooze - Fuck Tequila. Give me some Rattlesnake Vodka.

4. Epic Carnival - Buzzer Beatin'

5. Poon of the SEC - Spring Ahead Poon.

6. COED Magazine - Tennis Hottie.

7. Holy Taco - I used to be a DMX fan.

8. Dirty Rotten Whore - Pam Anderson is dirty.

9. Drunken Stepfather - What the hell is a Bai Ling?

10. Blog of Hilarity - Women should not sleep on planes.

11. On 205th - Pole Dancing Airlines. The only way to fly.

12. The Putdown - Seven Sexiest Music Videos.

I Heart Stacy Keibler

2008-03-15T11:08:00.012-05:00

The Hottie Hunter was watching the George Lopez show when he spied a long-legged heartstopper. After some research, the Hottie Hunter discovered it was none other than Ms. Stacy Keibler. Now I don't know what rock I've been hiding under, but I totally missed the fucking train on this one. So in order to redeem myself, I'm putting her up here front and center. She is my new (probably temporary) love of my life.

How could you resist that smile? Where the fuck have I been? Why didn't someone make me aware of her existence earlier? Truthfully, I knew of her. But I just failed to realize the extent of her HOTNESS until I saw that episode. She was fucking stunning.

Holy fuck, this broad is so hot I just slapped myself. That's right. I fucking slapped myself. Oh, the things I would do for this woman. If she wasn't already so famous, I'd make her the Hottie of the Week.

The Hottie Hunter has claimed Stacy for his own. Any attempt to steal her will be viewed as an act of aggression and I will respond in kind. Of course, I have no problem sharing with Federica Ridolfi, Moran Atias, or any other Hottie of my choosing.

Hottie of the Week!!! ForBiddeN

2008-03-09T18:36:00.007-05:00

Sorry Hottie Hunters. I know my absence has been noticeable. Today I bring to you the heat. Her name is Christina Dolce and she's a Hottie Hunter's wet dream. She made a name for herself on MySpace of all places. Horny pervs everywhere beat down her MySpace door every day, skyrocketing her to instant fame. And this smart Hottie turned it into a lucrative career.

Now would ya look at that? Gold chain and boobs from heaven. What self-respecting man could resist her?

There's just something dirty about this Hottie. And I freakin' love it. Seriously, she has to be a killer in bed. Look at how she works the camera. You can work the Hottie Hunter any day lady.

I can't stop staring at her rack. WOW. I could lay on those pillows all day. and night. Again. and again.

See what I mean by dirty. That look says it all. She's asking for it. And baby, I'm a giver.

More ForBiddeN

TAP THAT LINK

2008-03-09T18:29:00.001-05:00

So once again the Hottie Hunter must defer to the demands of life. Thus, I leave you with some totally tappable links. Tap these links like you'd tap Stacy all over that mat.

Hottest Girls of MySpace - Lisa Angeline makes the Hottie Hunter woody.

Blog of Hilarity - News of the Century.

Mac Gs World - Pac 10 Poon!

The PutDown - Louise Glover makes the Hottie Hunter woody also.

Epic Carnival - Duke UNC Hype is overhyped?

Tasty Booze - Mugshots with funny ass t-shirts.

Brahsome - I'd touch Erin Andrews.

Why Women Are Whores - Is it genetic?

COED Magazine - Anna Semonvich makes the Hottie Hunter woody, again.

SexyFans For Life

2008-02-17T09:49:00.002-06:00

The Hottie Hunter is aiming to be the TOP destination for Soccer/Futbol babe hunters. My SexyFan collection is getting bigger and bigger, much like something else everytime I hunt these hotties. Anyways, let's see what the Hottie Hunter dug up on his SexyFan quest.

This Hottie nearly got the Hottie Hunter decapitated. I was able to liberate her from the arms of the Revolutionary Guard, who had no idea that the Hottie Hunter was a fucking secret agent with superpowers. Needless to say, she was grateful. Over and over again.

While the brunette demonstrates to her friend how she pleasured me the night before, the blonde smiles invitingly at the Hottie Hunter. I RSVP'd right away.

While in Sweden, I ran into this SexyFan threesome, who chased me into a dark alley and had their way with me. I've never been the same ever since.

So apparently, Sweden has a SexyFan fucking army. These three beauties had me shaking in my dreams for weeks.

Croatian SexyFans. Look at those smiles. I believe they've been using some type of whitening product.

This Croatian chick is sensational. I wonder of she's a celebrity or the wife of a soccer player? She wouldn't let me play with her. I was sad.

Wait, English chicks are hot? They're not all pub whores with missing teeth? Where the fuck have I been?

That's some damn good hunting I did. Damn good indeed. Is that a fucking tongue ring or a piece of gum in this chick's mouth? She better be fucking careful in that country. I'm not coming to save her. One near beheading is good enough for me.

Hump Day Hottie Hunter Style

2008-02-13T10:27:00.000-06:00

Today, let's do something a little different. This site is so damn serious all the time. Let's have some fun. I'm giving you a picture of a Hottie doing whatever. You add the caption. I'll go first.

Pimpin ain't easy.

Tap that Link

2008-02-11T09:36:00.000-06:00

Since the Hottie Hunter has taken a serious backseat to my incessant desire for materialistic satisfaction, I'm dropping some linkage on you to keep you entertained between posts. Enjoy - (Holy crap that chick is HOT).

1. Andrea Vargo is Hot - Hottest Girls of MySpace.

2. Hottieism is a universal language - Flabber.

3. Is Your Girl Really Doing Laundry? - Mac Gs World

4. The Key to a GreatPhoto - Busted Coverage

5. Best of Craigs List - TastyBooze

This chick is just asking for it. Perfect booty. High heel boots. Gorgeous face. Innocent smile. And bent over a car hood. Fucking asking for it.

6. Bruce Willis is a Pimp - On 205th.

7. She's Not Pregant, She's Just Fat - Blog of Hilarity.

8. Charlize Theron Drunk? - DrunkenStepFather.

9. Funniest Blog Ever - Kissing Suzy Kolber.

10. Roid Report - Epic Carnival.

11. Chris Berman at his Best - Brahsome.

12. Drunk Shame - COED Magazine.

Hottie of the Week - FEDERICA RIDOLFI

2008-02-10T12:32:00.000-06:00

This is straight from my guy at The Putdown. He's Hottie Hunter elite. This braud is smoking hot, off the fucking charts and into my suddenly tight pants. Her name is Federica Ridolfi and in keeping with Futbol Hottie dominance, she's best known for appearing on Italian television shows focused on Soccer.

Have you ever seen a girl and thought to yourself "Damn, I just wanna get dirty with her."? Fuck you if you never did. I think about getting straight filthy with a Hottie all the time. And this is one of them. I look in her eyes and they just scream of dirtiness to me. I'm talking headboard breaking, sheet staining, Hottie screaming, dick throbbing dirty. Ya, that's her.

I couldn't resist putting up this candid shot. Most Hotties look normal, at best, candidly. But this Hottie maintains her halo. Seriously, just look at her. Long legs, killer backside, flat tummy. Its a total package. De-fucking-licious.

Not sure if you can tell from this angle, but she's got a sick tattoo snaking up from her mid-region to her right side. Did I say she was dirty? Oops, I meant she's just plain nasty. Lady, I would give you the best 13 seconds of your life.

More Fedrica Ridolfi

Making Time for Hottie Hunting

2008-02-10T12:09:00.000-06:00

As most of you have already figured out, the Hottie Hunter has been inundated with the responsibilities of being a man. For some reason, when people say they got a job, I think of something entirely different.

Working 12 hours daily, driving endlessly, leaping tall buildings, and Hottie Hunting has taken a serious toll on this site. I apologize to you my Hottie Hunter fans and to my affiliates who rely on my Hunting prowess. Unfortunately, the Hottie Hunter must cut down to posting twice a week. Time is not on my side at the moment. I know you understand. I'll still bring the heat. Besides, my archives are more than enough to keep you entertained in between postings.

SexyFans - Argentina!

2008-01-29T20:15:00.000-06:00

I've never denied it. In fact, I flaunt it. I'm addicted. Crackhead addicted. To Soccer Babes. I can't get enough of them. So now I've decided to expand my addiction. Fuck it. Life is short. Enjoy my Futbol Hotties from Argentina!

I'll be in Argentina if anyone needs me.

HOTTIE OF THE WEEK!!! JENNA DEWAN

2008-01-26T08:00:00.000-06:00

Welcome Hottie Hunters. I repaired most of the site. Any other missing pictures will pop up after the end of January. By the way, Photobucket can eat it. Useless fucks.

Anyways, let's get down to some business. Hottie business. You voted and I promised you a Hottie of the Week. Here is your democratically elected Hottie of the Week - Jenna Dewan!!

Can you believe this Hottie? She turned herself into a freakin' movie star? And she started in a music video. Damn I shoulda beent the guy promising I can make her a star.

Jenna, seriously, I can still make you a star. Call me. I'll make you big time.

THE SITE IMPLODES

2008-01-25T08:29:00.001-06:00

As you probably noticed, I'm having some issues with the site. I'll get this bad bitch up and running smoothly again this weekend.

Hunter Hunter Presents Music Video Hotties!

2008-01-22T19:17:00.000-06:00

The Hottie Hunter, on his usual hunt, stumbled across a boobalicious braud that nobody's ever heard of. Or at least I've never heard of. And the funny thing is, there's more and more I see everyday. Goddamn there's some dick-hardening women in the land of music videos! CHOOSE YOUR HOTTIE OF THE WEEK FROM HERE!

Nicole LaBarbera. Half Spanish, Half Sicilian. Wow. What a fucking combo. I'm actually afraid. You'd be scared too. She's got two brothers.

Jenna Dewan. A fucking goddess? She was in a Janet Jackson video. And she's the main chick from some movie called Step Up. I got your Step Up right here Jenna.

Vanna Black. She's what happens when Wheel of Fortune meets the streets. She's a rapper and a model. Daddy like.

Lisa Marie. This chick is dirty. Just look at her. I'm talking filthy. She'd be the best ride of your life. Where have you seen her? Shake Ya Tailfeather.

Nina Roxanne. Now why you wanna go and do that, girl? That's the Hottie from T.I.'s video. Innocent looking, but a devil in disguise. My kind of girl next door.

There you have it folks. Five badass Hotties. Vote for your favorite and the winner is crowned Hottie of the Week.

Tap that Link Sunday

2008-01-20T09:22:00.000-06:00

Its another Sunday Hottie Hunters. Hope your Saturday night was better than mine. I'm working on 2 hours sleep and its not Hottie Hunter worthy. Let's get through this Sunday with some awesome linkage. Enjoy -

1. Drunkenstepfather - Nina Moric in a bikini.

2. The Schlub Report - Punish women drivers.

3. Coed Magazine - Tom Cruise Scientology Video.

4. Epic Carnival - The Roid Report.

5. Hottest Girls on Facebook presents the poor man's Mariah Carey.

6. On 205th - Packers fans are serious.

7. Busted Coverage - Today's spankings.

8. Hotties of youtube - The Return of Carmen.

9. Paul's World - Alena Seredova is HOT.

10. Blog of Hilarity - Eminem hits obesity.

11. WhyWomenAreWhores - Recognize Whoreism. Hugh Hefner did.

Club Hottie Hunter

2008-01-19T10:21:00.000-06:00

The Hottie Hunter is dropping a brand new piece for you club-heads. Starting this weekend, I'll drop some suggestions for some Hot clubs so my Hottie Hunters can hunt in style. In the beginning, they'll mostly be some midwest spots, but with your help, The Hottie Hunter will go international. If you know any clubs that the Hottie Hunter should put on blast, email me at hottiehunterforlife@gmail.com.

Let's get started for this weekend! First up is Republic in Chicago. The best night to hit it is on a Saturday. I'm sure you've all heard "come early and bring a Hottie with you if you want to get in." But wait, there's another way to get in.

Get on Republic's mailing list. They'll randomly send you over special event emails with RSVP info. Get on that and you're golden.

Once you get in you'll notice that there's two sides to the club, each playing different music with different bars. Behind the curtains, the decor is contemporary with hardwood floors, variable lighting, and smoke. The Hottie Hunter has even seen a fashion show on that catwalk.

Drinks are expensive, but that's your fee for being at a Chicago hotspot. The ladies start flowing in somewhere after midnight on Saturdays. Spot 'em and drop 'em. You're a deputized Hottie Hunter. Make me proud!

Hottie of the Week!!! Gloria Velez

2008-01-18T09:26:00.000-06:00

So the Hottie reached deep into commercial territory to present to you a well known, but little publicized Hottie. She's latin (Hottie Hunter LOVES latinas), and she's dragon-breath hot. Let's take a stroll down her Hot self.

Bet ya didn't know she was in the Big Pimpin' video. And even if you did, who cares. I didn't know. She's been in Playboy, Lowrider, XXL, and the list goes on. Daddy like.

Born to Puerto Rican parents in New York, this latin sizzler started modeling in her teens. She's never looked back. Don't let the Hottie Hunter catch you in an elevator madam.

Picture Gallery

Tap that Link Friday

2008-01-18T07:27:00.000-06:00

1. Hottest Girls of MySpace presents Nadia Kiss.

2. COED Magazine crowns Kara Moore.

3. Busted Coverage wants to be the French President.

4. On 205th discovers Joanna Krupa. The Hottie Hunter loved her first.

5. The Putdown has the craziest chicks he ever dated.

6. Why Women Are Whores likes "different" ads.

7. Hotties of Youtube presents Naughty Nikki.

8. Brahsome drops Aural Sex.

9. Losers With Socks has the SEC Grudge.

10. Mac Gs World identifies a serial wife-beater. Pioneer? You be the judge.