To the Teenage Girls Who Hang Out with the Teenage Boys Across the Street:

I get it.  You’re at that time in your life where you’re really interested in boys.  Your hormones are raging, you want attention from males, and you think the guys across the street are cool because they wear tank tops and have cars and sit around in lawn chairs smoking pot in the side yard right across the street from my driveway.

I was a teenager once.  I remember when the scrawny little boys in 7th grade started turning into actual young men a couple of years later.  I remember how it made us all a little crazy for a few years.  And though I’m “the lady across the street” now, I’m not so far removed from where you are in your life right now.  So I do understand.

But for the love of God, put some clothes on.

There’s no need to walk up and down the street in a skimpy little bikini, waiting on those boys to come outside.  We have no neighborhood pool, so why are you in a swimsuit?  Please do not wiggle yourself right in front of my driveway when I’m trying to turn into it.  You look silly and I will tell you for a fact that those boys talk about you when you leave, and it’s not always sunshine and roses.

Also, when you ARE actually hanging out with these boys, there is no need to curse as loudly as you possibly can.  We live in a semi-decent neighborhood with small children everywhere.  And I swear to you, if my four-year old ever tells me to “shut the f**k up,” I’ll know exactly where he heard it.  And you’d best have your parents on speed dial, because after I deal with you I’m going to pay them a visit.  I know you think you’re being “cool” and using grown-up language, but the hooligan boys across the street do not swear with that much volume.  EVER.  They are exceedingly polite to me and my children.  You’re not the little badass you think you are when you cuss a blue streak.  You just look trashy.  Go home and read a book.

Listen, I know you think these guys are cool right now.  Skipping school, smoking pot, probably doing all the other things that “bad boys” do.  But believe me when I say that if they don’t start shaping up really soon, you don’t want to hitch your wagons to them.  Being cool isn’t going to get them into college.  Heck, it may not even get them out of high school.  I know you think they’re the bee’s knees at the moment, but think about what their lives are going to look like in five years if they continue down this path.  They’ll be in their early twenties, probably still sitting in those lawn chairs, smoking pot and drinking.  And there will be a new batch of teenage girls who will think they are sooooo awesome.  I’m hoping you will have moved on by then.  Perhaps you’ll be in college and will have set your sights on some higher-hanging fruit.  Someone who might not have been “cool” as a teenager like you think these boys are.  Someone who thought about their future and what they wanted it to look like, and is actively working to make that happen.  Someone with ambition and drive.  Someone who is a hard worker.  Someone who will respect you.

Darlings, I do understand you more than you think.  I was you once.  And I look back on things that I did or said as a teenager to get a boy’s attention and cringe.  You, too, will look back on this summer and the times you spent wriggling up and down the street waiting for those boys to come out and notice you, and you will be so embarrassed.  And I hope that they snap out of it as well, get their acts together, and start thinking about their future.  Because the road they’re on right now isn’t leading them anywhere good.  Hopefully they’ll look back on these years with regret, wishing they would have studied and gotten a higher SAT score instead of smoking their brain cells away.  They’re nice boys, they really are.  But eventually you’re all going to be adults.  Now is the time to start thinking about what kind of adult you want to be.

But seriously, put some clothes on.  And watch your mouth.

Sincerely,

The Lady Across The Street

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

Life gets away from me most days.  Blah blah.  Whatever.

So the weight loss is going…. slowly.  But steadily?  I guess?  I have been steadily inching downward on the scale, although much slower than I would like.  I still haven’t figured out the right balance of eating enough and varying my exercise routine to achieve a better burn.  So because I don’t eat enough {in my opinion}, my body is probably holding onto energy more than it would if I ate more.  But I don’t really have time to think about eating most days so I’ll have to figure something out.  Maybe keep a fruit bowl at work for snacking.

I’m also stuck in a bit of a cardio rut.  I don’t mean to be.  I actually hate cardio.  But it’s the easiest and most convenient way for me to exercise so if it comes down to running on the treadmill or not exercising at all, I’m going to run on the treadmill.  I don’t have time to go to a gym.  I don’t have any weightlifting equipment at my house.  I hate the 30 Day Shred because I find it extremely boring and repetitive.  The only exercise that I really enjoy is playing tennis, and I am only able to do that twice a week.  And twice a week is not enough exercise for me.  So I’m at yet another standstill.  I’m thinking of getting the Insanity workout DVDs.  I don’t mind workout videos, but I just can’t stand the 30DS.  I hate doing the same thing over and over and over for what has been minimum results in my experience.  I mean, I consider myself to be an athlete.  An overweight one, but I get out there on the tennis court twice a week and go ham, so I know I’ve got it in me.  It just has to be something I enjoy.  So I’m hoping that I will enjoy the Insanity workout because the results I have been seeing are pretty amazing.

But on the positive side, I did lose 11 pounds and 6.5 inches overall over the past 10 weeks.  My group weight loss challenge ended last Thursday, and I won second place for overall inches lost!  So that was exciting, and I could definitely use the prize money that I won.  And I weighed myself this morning just for kicks, and it looked like I was down another pound-ish.  The next challenge starts on June 27, so I hope to continue what I have started.

So my goal this week is to try to find some ways to add some variation to my exercise at home.  Whether it be Insanity, buying a kettle bell and some hand weights, or just finding some new ways to use my own body weight to exercise, I need to shake it up a little.

I haven’t really set a weight goal for myself.  I have a lot of weight to lose, so it’s hard to see that large a number all at once.  I wonder if I should set a monthly or quarterly goal instead.  Okay, how about this: I’d like to lose 20 pounds from now to the end of September.  Then we’ll see where to go from there.

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

I’ve been a full-fledged “adult” for about 10 years, I guess.  I graduated from college 10 years ago and got married nine years ago, so I guess that makes me sort of an adult.  I mean, I have two kids.  I’m in my thirties.  I have a mortgage and a 401k.  If that doesn’t make me an adult I don’t know what else I can do.

But while you get to do cool things as an adult, like rent a car and vote and sign your life away for a place to live or an education, you also have to do some pretty lame things.  Like eat right and exercise and go to bed at a reasonable hour.  Bonus to all of us who are parents:  we also have to make sure that our little ones eat right and exercise and go to bed at a reasonable hour, and also try not to screw them up too badly so hopefully they won’t send their therapy bills to us when they are adults themselves.

We also have to try not to make too many impulsive decisions.  Every now and again they are okay, though.  Like Saturday morning.  Zac had to work early and we are in need of a trip to the grocery store, so when the boys woke up I packed them in the car, jammies on and shoes in the floor {just in case}, and we headed to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast.  Cannon had tubes put in his ears on Friday and it was a rough day {mainly for me, as he didn’t seem to be very affected by it at all}, so I figured we all deserved a little treat of chicken minis.  Cole said, “we’re going to Chick-Fil-A in our jammies?!  I can’t believe it.  Mom, that’s so silly!”  And I did a mental fist pump in victory.  I’m a fun mom!  I’m the mom who does silly stuff like go to Chick-Fil-A in her pajamas in the name of fun!

{Side note:  Mean Girls makes me so happy I have boys and not girls.  Hopefully mythical baby number 3 will follow suit.}

So my 4-year old thinks I’m silly.  Score!  We enjoyed our breakfast back at home and went about our day.  Later that evening, we all went to Home Depot after Zac got home and since nobody had eaten dinner, We decided to stop by Firehouse for some subs.  And Baskin Robbins for some ice cream.  Yikes.  That seems to be a few too many impulsive decisions that were good for neither our waistlines or our wallets.

Then the next morning we found ourselves in the same situation as we did Saturday:  home with no breakfasty foods.  And I have to tell you, the allure of a very convenient IHOP was almost too much to withstand.  But then I thought back on the previous day’s debauchery, and decided that it would be the more responsible decision to suck it up and go to the grocery store.  So instead of spending $35-40 on one meal, we spent $60 and came out with over a week’s worth of breakfasts and things for other meals, plus a treat or two.  See?  Responsible.  Now my family will have healthy meals and snacks prepared for a fraction of the price of a restaurant.  A better decision for our health and our budget.

Believe me when I say it was very difficult to turn down some hot fluffy pancakes with strawberry syrup.  But I did.  I guess I’m an adult after all.

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

Last Friday one of my baby cousins got married. I call them all my baby cousins because I am the oldest by a good 7 years and can remember when they were all born, so they’ll always be babies in my mind. But alas, she is now 24 years old and married to a bona fide Italian who is actually from Italy. She has already seen so much more of the world than I probably ever will. {Side note: travel more.}

We packed up and drove to Huntsville, AL on Friday for the wedding, stopping in our old stomping grounds to meet my grandmother and mother-in-law for lunch since we wouldn’t have a chance to see them later in the weekend. We ate at this little place called Gus’s Hot Dogs in Irondale, AL. Zac used to eat there frequently since he worked in the same shopping center, and it was on the way and centrally located. Cole had chicken fingers and fries, nothing unusual, and everyone else had a hot dog. After lunch we headed up to Huntsville and got checked into our hotel.

After we got settled I went down to the fitness center to get in a run while the boys relaxed. Then it was time for everyone to get bathed and ready for the wedding. I was in the shower when Zac came bursting into the bathroom carrying a very upset Cole. “We can’t go to the wedding,” he said.

Then Cole puked everywhere. I jumped out of the shower to help with him, and then went into the room to get the baby out of the way. Orange vomit all over the white hotel bedding. So. Much. Puke. It was awful. And to elaborate further about the orange, Cole had eaten some cheese curls earlier in the day, some of those gross orange peanut butter crackers as an afternoon snack, and washed it down with some orange Gatorade. You can just imagine the vibrance of that technicolor yawn.

I stripped the bed so it wouldn’t seep through to the mattress and got Cole’s travel blanket out so he could lay down. He has never thrown up before and obviously did not like it one little bit. Nobody else got sick, and judging by the chills and fever, I’m assuming it was a random stomach bug and not anything he had eaten. So that’s a small blessing that nobody else got sick. But I felt so terrible for my sweet boy. He was so excited about going to the wedding and seeing our family. Just his rotten luck that he would get sick that day.

I decided that Cannon and I would go to the wedding so Cole could get some rest without being irritated by his little brother. We had a great time visiting with our family and Cannon loved all the attention he got. Of course he hammed it up for everyone! We enjoyed all the yummy desserts and punch, and I was glad to spend some one-on-one time with my sweet baby boy. He wore himself out. Our hotel was a half mile from the wedding location, and he was asleep before we turned onto the road. Cole was asleep when we got home, but my parents came up to just give him a kiss since they haven’t seen him in awhile. He woke up feeling a bit better so they stayed for a bit to visit before heading back to Birmingham.

All in all, it was an interesting and hectic weekend. I certainly didn’t expect Cole to get sick. But we tried to make the best of it since I’m sure it won’t be the last time. Kids tend to throw you for a loop when you least expect it, don’t they?

Oh well.  At least Cannon and I looked good.

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

My children are hilarious.

Just the things they say and do amuse me to no end.  I love watching them go about their little business.  I love watching Cole talk to his friends because he gets this look on his face while he is happily chatting about something that just owns me.  I love watching Cannon copy his big brother’s every move and try to repeat after him, garbling his words and coming up with something even more hilarious.

Like any mom, I love to take pictures of my kids.  Thank God for the iPhone, right?  It puts a decent camera in your hands at virtually all times.  I can catch them doing things in the moment that I could never stage.  I get expressions and poses that I could never get them to do again.  I can capture their personalities on the fly.  More specifically, the contrast in their personalities.

Yesterday morning I sat the boys down for a snack.  They were sitting there so sweetly, munching on Goldfish crackers and watching Sesame Street.  So I decided to take their picture.  I picked up my iPhone and told them to say “cheese!”

This is what I got.

Cole, my male Mini-Me, is sitting there so sweetly, with a little smile on his face and chipmunk cheeks stuffed with crackers.  Cannon looks at me as if to say “I’m eatin’ here!  Goldfish, Ma!  Do you see the Goldfish?!”  It works best if you read it in Robert De Niro’s voice.  Maybe Joe Pesci.  Either way, the adorableness of these two yoots is obvious.

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

Holy crap. What a week. And this one is shaping up to be just as crazy. I’m hoping to be able to write again soon. Meanwhile, here’s some cuteness.

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

Ten years ago today I graduated from college.  I was done, got my degree, ready to go out and be a big girl in the real world.  Five years of classes and SGA and tennis matches and tournaments and apartments and dorm rooms and sorority obligations and part time jobs and tests and finals and fees and costs.  It was all over.  It was a very important event.

But it wasn’t the most important thing that happened ten years ago today.

Ten years ago today, I attended a graduation party thrown by a friend in my apartment complex.  It was a big party full of mostly Pikes (Pi Kappa Alpha) and Alpha Gams (Alpha Gamma Delta, my sisters) since there were a several Alpha Gams dating Pikes at the time and they were the fun group on campus that year.  I saw this guy that I had seen around a few times but didn’t really know him.  I just knew his name was Zac and he grew up near where I did and we went to semi-rival high schools.  He was cute, but I didn’t know much about him other than that so I didn’t feel one way or the other about him.  I really just talked to him because I was hitting that chatty point in the evening and he happened to cross my path.  Innocent enough.

But a seed was planted.

Over the next few weeks, we kept finding ourselves in the same place.  The next time I saw him was a a mutual friend’s wedding.  We exchanged numbers.  He smacked my butt.  But I didn’t think anything of it.  I figured there wasn’t any way he could possibly be seriously interested in me, so I just went about my merry way.

A few weeks later, another mutual friend was in town from Chicago, so a big group of us met downtown to bar hop.  This guy was there again.  I was with my BFF at the time, and this guy’s best friend had his eye on her.  So I got wingmanned.  Zac’s friend had dispatched him to get me out of the way so he could put the moves on my friend.  Which didn’t work, by the way.  But Zac and I ended up hitting it off really well.  Or so I thought.

Radio silence for the rest of June.  Then a phone call out of the blue on Independence Day to see if I was busy and did I want to hang out with him that night.  Sure, why not, I had no plans.  We had an okay time but then I heard nothing from him until early September when I needed help picking out a new stereo system for my car.  I remembered he had some kind of fancy system in his car and worked near the Tweeter, so I called him up to see if he would help me.  He came down to the store and helped me pick out some new speakers and head unit, and then we went out to dinner.  A week later he showed up at my install to keep me company.

Then nothing for two weeks.  {Why are guys like this?  Seriously.}

A couple of weeks later, I was in my car heading downtown to go dancing with some girlfriends.  I was really early so I was going to head to a coffee shop to kill some time.  He called and asked me to meet him and some friends at a nearby country bar.  I figured why not, I had some time to kill.

And that, as they say, was history.  Our first “official” date was a week later, on October 3rd.  364 days later, we were married.  That night I got wingmanned?  My last first kiss ever. And I fully believe in divine intervention, because the night I received that phone call in late September I met another really cute guy while out with my girlfriends, and he called me up and asked me out for the next weekend.  I had already made plans with Zac, so I had to turn him down.  After that first date I was done for.  Game, set, and match.  I knew that this was the man I was going to marry.

It’s so hard to believe that ten years have passed since I decided to just go ahead and talk to that cute guy.  Best decision I ever made.

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

I was so stoked to work with Minted on this giveaway.  The contest ended last night.  Thanks to everyone who entered!  And the winner is……….

 
a Rafflecopter giveaway

Congratulations, Heidi! I’ll be sending you an e-mail today with instructions on how to claim your prize. Thanks again to everyone who entered and shared this great giveaway. I hope to be able to bring you some more awesome contests soon!

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

So, Mike Jeffries, huh?

Perhaps you’ve heard about some comments made by the Abercrombie and Fitch CEO in a 2006 Salon article.  Comments regarding the preferred clientele of his brand, brought up again by Robin Lewis, co-author of The New Rules of Retail.  See, A&F stores don’t sell women’s clothing above a size Large.  That is because their CEO doesn’t want any fatties or uglies wearing his brand.  Here’s a quote from the aforementioned article.

Candidly, we go after the cool kids. We go after the attractive all-American kid with a great attitude and a lot of friends. A lot of people don’t belong [in our clothes], and they can’t belong. Are we exclusionary? Absolutely.

To be clear, this guy:

This guy is concerned about how people look in A&F clothes.  That guy right there.  Who obviously owns no mirrors.  But let’s not take it there.

I personally have no problem with the fact that I would likely be laughed out of any Abercrombie & Fitch store due to my size. I am a happy 32-year old woman with a beautiful family and am very pleased with my life.  Mr. Meltyface’s opinion on whether or not I’m hot enough or thin enough to wear his brand means nothing to me.  The ones I do worry about are young, impressionable teenage girls {and guys} who now may think that they are too fat or not cool enough to wear what is unfortunately apparently a staple on high school campuses these days.  I’m not sure anybody at my high school wore A&F clothes.  None of the cool kids did, anyway.  Maybe it was just after my time.  I can’t even remember what the “cool kids” in high school wore {aside from the Tommy Hilfiger collared shirt phase}.  Which is kind of awesome that coolness wasn’t really determined by the clothes your parents bought.

But Jeffries states that he panders to the “cool kids” and wishes to exclude anyone who doesn’t look like they belong in an A&F Quarterly.  What happens when the cool kids start wearing a certain style or brand or start speaking a certain way or using a new slang word?  It spreads.  A trickle-down effect happens, and before you know it, everyone in the school is rushing out for that new sneaker or denim wash or using words like gnarly and totes.  So what happens when that girl who still has a bit of baby fat goes into an A&F and they don’t carry the jeans that everyone has in a size 12?  Or the girl who has developed early and needs an XL shirt to accommodate her new physique, only to find the size L too small?  Or the geeky guy who is just desperate to be accepted by anyone, who goes into A&F with his own hard-earned money to buy a shirt with their stupid logo splashed all over it in hopes that one of the “cool kids” will look at him the next day and say “hey, nice shirt,” only to feel intimidated and looked down on by the modelesque sales associates who are trained to market only to good-looking, thin people? What will they take away from their trip to the mall?  That they’re not pretty enough.  They’re not thin enough.  They’re not cool enough.  All because a store didn’t carry an article of clothing in their size.  They will walk away believing that their self worth is tied to their appearance, and because one store who holds itself out as a bastion of “coolness” doesn’t carry their size they will be defeated and feel like they don’t and won’t ever belong.  They will be pushed even further out of the circles that society is telling them they need to be accepted by.

Where do they go from there?  Steroids?  Eating disorders?  Plastic surgery {of which Mr. Jeffries is apparently a big fan}?  And what if the problem isn’t physical, it’s just that they aren’t “cool”?  Depression?  Drug use?  Suicide?  I know I’m taking that to an extreme, but teenagers can be unbelievably cruel.  I know.  I was one.  I wasn’t even one of the most popular kids and I still look back on some of the things I said and did and cringe.  And I considered myself to be a pretty nice person.  I just hate to think that my kids would be on either side of that coin.  I don’t want them making anyone feel unworthy or bad about themselves for not being in the popular crowd, nor do I want my kids to have their own self worth damaged by someone else who buys into Mr. Jeffries’ world view wherein people are to be judged on their appearance and only those deemed attractive are worthy of respect, friendship, and love.  Maybe I’m a little too invested in this both as someone who is overweight and as someone who has dealt with ED, but I don’t want to send my children out into a world where this line of thought exists.  I want my children to know that every person has worth, no matter their size or shape.  It’s not just about the clothes, you guys.

And now it’s time for my snarky side commentary.  Even when I was a size 8 {and at 6 feet tall, that is quite thin} and on top of my game as far as physical appearance goes, you could not have paid me to buy clothes from A&F.  Their stores are completely obnoxious, the sales associates are largely vapid and giggly teenagers, and the clothing is bland and overpriced.  I can’t even stand walking past the door of A&F.  It is so loud, reeks of bad cologne, and I would need a flashlight to see anything in there.  And you know who wore A&F when I was younger?  Douchebags.  Douchebags and a-holes.  If that’s the clientele they’re after, then go for it.  Because alienating a big percentage of the population certainly can’t hurt sales, can it?  Maybe Mr. Jeffries has forgotten who makes the majority of teenagers’ clothing purchases:  their parents.  And the skinny kid who makes the A&F cut just might have a plus-size mom, like me.  And Mr. Meltyface can rest assured that not a dime of my money will ever be spent at one of his stores.  Keeping a fatty out of Abercrombie & Fitch:  ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-

{I’m jumping on Miranda’s weight loss series.  She blogs at Not Super, Just Mom and has begun chronicling her weight loss journey.  She is much braver than I am in that she shares her actual weight with the world, something that I could never bring myself to do.}

I’ve mentioned before that I am locked in a never-ending struggle to lose weight.  It’s just not something that has been or will ever be easy for me, short of starving myself.  And I really don’t want to do that.

Nonetheless, I am slowly but surely starting to lose a tiny little bit of weight.  On Monday I had a 1-month follow-up with my doctor, and he confirmed that I had lost 7 pounds since I last saw him four weeks ago.  He was quite pleased, as was I.  I don’t have a scale at home {I should really get one}, so I use the crappy rotary scale at work to guesstimate my weight for my Facebook group’s weight loss challenge.  It was nice to have something to show for my efforts over the past month.

Speaking of my efforts, I am still running three or four times a week, and playing tennis once or twice as the weather permits.  I’ve given up all sodas, and drink only water, milk, and the occasional sweet tea or iced coffee on the weekends.  I honestly don’t even miss soda.  I drink water all day long and don’t really get thirsty anymore, which tells me that I am actually properly hydrated for the first time in a very long while.  I don’t crave sweets much anymore, except for the occasional homemade chocolate chip cookie.  I don’t snack that much except for fruit during the day, and I try to eat a high protein breakfast in the mornings and a sensible lunch.  Dinner is always pretty haphazard, but if I don’t get out of control during the day then I can usually stick to something healthy and light.  I still eat the occasional bowl of pasta or bread, but I’m not really craving it and don’t think about eating it unless the husband or children ask for it.  So overall, I’d say I’m doing fairly well at changing my habits, and hopefully I can stick to them for the long run.

I think 7 pounds over the course of a month is a nice, steady way to lose weight.  Sure, I would love to be one of those people who could drop weight very easily and keep it off, but that’s just not in my genetic makeup.  And I can’t afford any of the weight loss systems like Shaklee or Nutrisystem or Medifast.  {Although if any of these companies would like to work with me, I promise you I would be your biggest success story.  See what I did there?}  So I am just going to try to do this the old fashioned way.  Hopefully I will continue to lose weight at a good pace.  At a rate of 7 pounds a month, give or take, I could possibly be 50 pounds lighter by the end of this year.  But I’d like to get that weight off much sooner, if possible.

The goal for this week is food journaling.  I dabble in keeping track of my calories, and I do a good job of logging my meals usually.  It’s the random bites here and there that get me.  The handful of cashews, the bites of dinner as I’m preparing it, or the miniature chocolate bar that I eat out of boredom.  But this week I’m going to do my best to keep track of every bite that goes in my mouth.  I did this a few weeks ago for my FB group’s weight loss challenge, and it was very eye opening.  But I just can’t eat like everyone else.  I have to be ever conscious of what I am eating, because I tend to be a grazer and it can get out of hand very quickly.

Are you trying to lose weight and get healthy?  Why not join Miranda and other bloggers like me and let’s keep each other accountable!

-
Like what you see? Subscribe to my RSS feed. And don’t forget to follow me on Twitter and like The House of Burks on Facebook for the latest updates!
-