The House of Marx

No added sugars Restart!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Tue, 03 Jun 2014 16:56:00 +0000

Ok yall I've finally prepared myself and our kitchen for a full no added sugar diet change! There are two things I’ve changed since originally wanting to do this. The first is that I can’t technically call this a “detox”. Because I’m still using sugar at home. I have organic raw sugar that I will be using for baking bread and such, and of course honey and maple syrup. So because I’m not abstaining from sugar completely I wouldn’t call this a detox. I am avoiding all added sugars in products we buy from the store. This may sound silly since I am still using sugar at home, but the difference is that I am in control in how much is added, and can control how much of it we are all consuming each day. If I continue to buy the products with added sugars AND add sugars in stuff I make at home, it’s too much! Second is that I don’t want this to be for a short time period and classified as a “diet”. I would rather this be a “diet CHANGE”. There’s really no need to buy a bunch of products that have unnecessary ingredients! Sugar is a major addiction for me so I really wanted to move away from having so much of it.

So with that being said, here we go again! I’ve figured out the majority of what to do in finding and preparing meals without the added sugars and surprisingly its not as difficult as it seemed at first! Once you figure out the products that don’t have added sugars, and what you are willing and able to make yourself it’s totally do-able.

A few things I found the most difficult to avoid:

Lunch meat, peanut butter, bread, tortillas, and cereal!

The solution:

Lunch meat: I found that there were two options for sugar free lunch meat. One is Boars head from the deli counter. However it’s extremely expensive per pound. The second was surprisingly Hilshire farms! The Smoked Turkey kind from the lunch meat section at the grocery store. Now I know it’s not the highest choice for people wanting to eat organic, grass fed, free range meats, but there is no added sugars! And that’s the focus right now.

Peanut Butter: This one has a solution, but not one I’m a fan of! They do make Peanut butter that is just nuts and salt. It’s just not my favorite. I definitely prefer sugar added to my peanut butter! This is the brand I have purchased:

Bread and Tortillas are next to impossible to find at the store without added sugars. I have found that Food For Life Ezekiel breads contain no sugar and made with sprouted grains which are very healthy for you! I have found them in the frozen section at Publix and at the commissary.

The cinnamon Raisin bread is my favorite for toast at breakfast. The other sprouted breads are good, but the kids aren’t huge fans of it because it’s not quite as soft as other breads we have purchased. I still really love Rudi’s brand breads. But they have the added “evaporated cane juice” which is sugar. The Ezekiel tortillas are ok, just again, not quite as soft and tend to tear when rolling them up. So I have decided to start making our own bread again, and found a recipe to make home made tortillas that I will attempt today!! We love tortillas for wraps at lunch, and we eat tacos at least once a week. So I’m hoping it’s a success and easy to keep on hand at all times! I used to bake our own bread a lot, but never quite got the hang of slicing it just right for sandwiches. Then life gets in the way and because I forgot to bake the bread it was easier to just buy a loaf at the store.

Cereal: This is an extremely difficult one! I did find that Food for life also makes Ezekiel cereal that I just bought yesterday to try, but it’s $5 a box and not a big box either! For myself and my hubby, we have been eating some home made granola I made a while back with my home made yogurt for breakfast and it’s super yummy! However the kids prefer a cereal. And I cannot find any that has no added sugar that they would like! For the time being, We just won’t be buying cereal. We can eat eggs, pancakes and oatmeal for breakfast. There are organic brands of cereal that we like, and have added organic sugars and fruit sweeteners that I would feel comfortable with them having, but again, the goal right now is to not buy or eat products with added sugars.

I plan to really focus on this and pay attention to the products we buy for the month of June. This will hopefully change my habits in shopping and awareness in how we feel when sugar is cut way back from our diets. We will still be going out to eat and enjoying ourselves!! So when we go out which is typically about once a week, I will not be overly concerned about added sugars because I’m obviously making the conscious decision to eat food someone else prepared.

So I’ll be sharing what we do and buy during this process! I’ll also try and share our menu plans for each week so you can see the different meals you can still eat and enjoy!

Jessi

Mothers day 2014

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Sun, 11 May 2014 19:02:00 +0000

It’s just another day around here. A day of laundry to be done, a family to be fed, and children to be cared for. No gifts planned for mom, no elaborate plans to celebrate. Daddy has one more final for school tomorrow so he is off studying and I’m home with the kids getting ready for the week ahead. In the days leading up to mother’s day there were ideas given for possible gifts, but not heavily pushed because I’m all too aware of our budget!

I was awoken this morning out of a deep sleep by my hubby saying “happy mother’s day” and then a gentle reminder we needed to get ready for church so we could actually make the early service. “I’ll get the kids ready!” he tells me. Awesome. Except it was already 8:20 and I needed to rush and get ready for church at 9:30. A little grumpy because I hate being rushed (even though I’m constantly rushing every where I go!) and knowing I won’t have time to actually blow dry and style my hair, I get ready for the day. As we pull up to church at 9:33 I quickly realize early service actually starts at 9:00! We haven’t missed the sermon, just the worship. Nice. But what would normally be cause for frustration and the blaming of who made us late, we are just happy to be there!

After church we spend about 45 minutes driving around town trying to decide on various places to eat. It’s when we drive around that we love to dream about life and make decisions about future plans. The sun starts to pop through the clouds after a couple gloomy days and we laugh and talk during our leisurely Sunday drive.

Now we’re home and Daddy has gone to study and I’m left with my thoughts about what to get done for the day. I realized that I have not once felt forgotten, or overlooked on this mother’s day. I do not feel like I’m owed anything, or that more of a fuss should have been made. Instead I feel so richly blessed that I am made to feel special EVERY DAY. Knowing that my kids love me so much they want to be near me every second of the day. (Some days that’s not so enjoyable lol) I hear the words “mommy I love you” from Caden, and recently “Mommy” from Mikalyn. The fact that I get her biggest smiles when I enter a room, and the sloppiest open mouth baby kisses make me feel overwhelmingly special. My husband shows appreciation for what I do on a daily basis, and knows just when I need a break!

I have a mother who has shown me what it means to be an awesome mom even though she worked full time. She has taught me to also be very independent and a hard worker. Becoming a mother has deepened my appreciation for her and what she did to raise me! I married into a family with a beautiful, giving woman as their mother and I could not be more lucky to have such a perfect mother in law.

I am also surrounded by many women that are such wonderful examples of what it means to be a loving mother. They encourage, inspire, understand and do not judge. Fellowship with like minded mamas is vital in this season of our lives!

God knew my calling way before I did. He blesses me, encourages me, comforts me and gives me patience when I need it most. I could not be more thankful that I feel so loved and appreciated on a daily basis by everyone in my life. My kids, my friends, my family, my Lord and Savior. My only prayer is that I am just as encouraging, and supportive to them too. Thankful for these days that teach, shape, mold and bless me beyond measure. With hard work comes reward. This is a very important task to be a mom, and the daily reward is enough. So while I am not showered with gifts today, I’ve been given the attitude of gratitude! Thank you Lord for this mindset, and not one of needing things, and actions to feel appreciated. For not placing my thoughts on what I’m getting today, but what I already have. You are more than enough Lord. I love You!

Jessi

Tipsy Tuesday: The Numbers app

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Wed, 07 May 2014 14:00:00 +0000

Hello, Hello! Today I wanted to share with y’all an awesome app that I use on a daily basis to help keep track of our budget! And guess what? If you own an iphone, it’s FREE! because it’s already installed on your phone. (*UPDATE: I've been informed this app is only installed on newer Iphone 5 versions. A friend has the 4S and does not have this app already installed. It is available in the app store for $10. Trust me though, it's totally worth it!) If you don’t have an iphone, I am sure there are similar apps out there, but I apologize I don’t know what they are. Share with us here in the comments if you do! I’ve tried several ways to track our daily spending. First to check our account daily. But not all transactions show up right away. I also have a spreadsheet on my computer that I track our total budget and bills on. But I don’t keep track of each and every daily transaction on that spreadsheet because it just gets messy and annoying to keep up with when I don’t sit down to my computer every day. With smart phones these days, who really needs to sit down to a computer very often?

Enter the Numbers app. This app gives you a bunch of different templates already pre-made for you to just plug in your numbers and go. Or if you want, create your own! There are meal plan tables, budget templates, charts, baby feeding charts, pretty much anything you want. All on your phone y’all. Seriously, how much easier could it get? Once I realized what this app even was I was hooked. Now I simply enter in each transaction immediately after I make a purchase, ( or a little while later because I have two small kids and my brain is in 50 places at once ), and my budget is updated immediately. I know where I’m at and that I probably should not splurge on Chick-fil-a for lunch today so we can enjoy a meal out as a family this weekend! With food and gas so expensive these days, you simply HAVE to track your daily purchases or you’ll be over budget every time.

What’s even cooler is that I can update this sheet, and share the link with my hubby so he knows where we are at and why! He can also enter his own transactions and save them too. I don’t know how many times he would call and ask me where we were at with the budget and I couldn’t give him an answer right away because I had to go sit down, check the account to make sure all the bills were coming out, that all our purchases we’ve made recently had actually posted, and subtract what was pending to come out, THEN tell him how much we had left. It was the root of many arguments that’s for sure. Because I don't bring home the bacon, I do my part to help with the finances. So I track our spending and make sure the bills get paid on time! Military life allows little time for them to stay on top of bills and such. With deployments, training out of town, etc. I so wish I had this app from the start!

I’ve been using this app for 6 months now and trust me when I say it WORKS and it will save you tons of time! And money. And arguments about budget if you actually use it. haha! Communication is key in marriage right? What better way to communicate about your spending than this.
(*NOTE: I’m aware this is now wednesday, but last night when I hit save I failed to also hit publish! )

Jessi

Sugar detox: Be prepared

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Tue, 06 May 2014 02:06:00 +0000

Did y’all have a great weekend? We did, and it was probably because I put the sugar detox on hold. haha! I HAD to. There was nothing I could eat in my house, besides the produce, that did not have added sugars. Even if it was organic, there was added sugars. So I wanted to share today some thoughts on this sugar detox and what will be happening going forward!

First of all, I started this thing on a whim thinking “ I really don’t want to eat all this candy anymore.” I thought it wouldn’t be that difficult because we bought lots of healthy foods during the week and don’t eat desserts (Other than my candy stashes) But I knew I could easily replace those sweet cravings with some of my favorite fruit and nut snacks. As I started paying closer attention to the ingredients of the everyday products we buy, I was shocked to see the sneaky things that contain sugar! For example, My lunch meat. What?! Granted, I know buying some lunch meat is not the healthiest because it’s not fresh from the deli, cut in front of you, preservative free stuff. But why in the world is there sugar in there? Also, this isn’t exactly sneaky, because it was right there on the ingredients list, but I read that list 5 different times every morning before I poured our organic cereal in my bowl. And the only sweet thing I saw on the list was Honey. Cool, right? That’s what I was allowing myself to have anyway, honey and maple syrup when I needed to sweeten something like coffee or oatmeal for example. Then then I read it again and SUDDENLY I see the word SUGAR. Where did that come from?! I’m convinced my brain has been programmed to overlook the word sugar, or tricky words that also mean sugar. Sucralose, Syrup, dextrose, evaporated can juice, etc. I’ve never thought so much about how much sugar we are eating in a day, I just didn’t care. But now that I want to take a break from it, it’s like a curtain has been lifted and I can see the truth and it’s really nasty!

Next, I’m giving myself some, no, A LOT of grace because I have not been able to go a single day without having added sugars. Not because I craved it, but because it’s literally in everything.

I need to better prepare myself for this task. My kitchen needs to be re-stocked with no sugar added foods. And no, not that sugar free stuff. That’s even worse! Real, no sugar added foods! And guess what that is in a nutshell? Nothing processed. Real foods. Fresh foods. Anything packaged is most likely going to contain sugars. I could not, in good conscience, just go buy new foods and not eat what we had on hand. It’s not in the budget folks. So realistically I need to just replace foods as we need them with stuff that doesn’t contain added sugar, or make it myself! As I find these foods, I’ll share them with you! My kitchen is not far from being rid of the extra sugar stuff. It’s the bread, lunch meat, & yogurt mainly. Tomorrow is a grocery shopping day that I’m dreading more than usual because I have a feeling it will result in me having to hit up a couple different stores to find the stuff I want. Don’t you hate having to shop at more than one grocery store?!

Wish me luck! And thanks for continuing to follow along! Come back tomorrow for Tipsy Tuesday where I share fun, interesting, random tips I’ve learned!

Jessi

Sugar Detox: Day 3

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Fri, 02 May 2014 02:12:00 +0000

I so wish I could say I made it all day without any processed sugar. But I can’t. It’s so darn tricky! It’s in Everything!!! I was doing great until about 3:00 this afternoon, I was starving so I grabbed an Activia Greek yogurt from the fridge. As I was eating it, it dawned on me to check the ingredients because it was sweet, but I was so hoping it was just the fruit mixed in it…. Yeah right. It has added sugar AND fructose. Not high fructose corn syrup, but still fructose. GEEZ. I was actually curious because I don’t know that I’ve ever seen anything having just fructose in the ingredients list. So I looked up what exactly fructose is. I know it’s sugar, but I would assume it would fall in the “sugar” part of the ingredients, not listed as a separate ingredient.

There’s crystalline fructose, and high fructose corn syrup. I’m assuming the fructose on the label is the crystalline form which is 100% pure fructose. High fructose corn syrup is actually a balance of glucose and fructose. Fructose itself is not bad for you when it’s occurring naturally in your food. But because it’s ADDED to the yogurt, or any other foods you might eat, you run the risk of consuming too much of it. And that’s the whole point here right? To avoid any ADDED sugars. In the case of this yogurt, even though it was so tasty, it had not only added sugar, but MORE sugar on top of it in the form of fructose. Cool.

The next thing I noticed that had sugar today was our organic bread! I buy Rudi’s organic bread from the commissary and we all love it. I was making my husband a sandwich this morning and happened to read the label and it had organic evaporated cane juice. Now obviously that’s the sweetener. But now I wondered, is this an ok sweetener, or another added, processed sugar I am trying to avoid? Enter Google. I found a great article here that explained perfectly that it is indeed another processed sugar. However it is on the healthier side of things. It contains some nutrients that regular white sugar is completely devoid of! I didn’t have a sandwich for lunch, but leftover homemade chicken enchilada soup from last night! YUM!

I also discovered evaporated cane juice in my Kind bars. If you don’t know what those are, they are very yummy, healthy snack bars.

SO, what’s a girl to do?! How serious am I going to be with this no added sugar thing? I can’t even have a sandwich or non GMO snack bar because of evaporated cane juice?! Yall I never intended for this to get so technical and scientific lol! It’s amazing what you learn when you start really paying attention. I guess I could just bake us some bread using honey and tell my husband he has free reign on the yogurt and snack bars! Oy vey.

Cravings have not been there at all for candy yet. And I wonder if it’s because I’m still getting sugar in these sneaky foods! I have been very hungry though and I am sure that’s my own fault for not adding more protein to my meals yet. No I have not been avoiding eating foods, when I’m hungry I grab something to eat! Obviously I ate a yogurt and Kind bar as my snacks and they turned out to have sugar! ARGH! I do crave some sweet tea though. Eating all my meals with just water isn’t my favorite.

Hopefully tomorrow will have more success!

Jessi

Sugar detox

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Thu, 01 May 2014 02:24:00 +0000

Hey friends! I’ve decided to do a sugar detox. This is not to diet and lose weight, because I’m completely happy with my weight (although I could use some muscle tone!), I simply wish to rid myself of the processed sugar cravings and feel more energized! I have a crazy sweet tooth. I love gummy bears, chocolate, cupcakes, donuts, etc. We actually eat very healthy here at home. We don’t keep junk food in the house, we don’t buy sodas. But I do have candy stashes. In the back of the pantry, in my purse, and my nightstand! Snack, snack, snack. All day long. Especially after dinner. It’s so bad I actually plan out what sweet I will snack on after dinner. If I know we don’t have anything in the house I’ll make sure to swing by a store to pick something up.

My goal is to defeat the cravings, refresh my system and clear up my brain! I constantly feel like I’m in a fog and cannot focus or remember things clearly. This will be difficult. It actually already is! I’m on day 2. I’ll share with y’all my progress, what worked, what didn’t, my failures and successes! I’m not doing a specific plan, just not eating foods that contain added sugars. Fruit is fine obviously, it’s natural! I will allow myself some honey and maple syrup in small amounts to sweeten my coffee, and oatmeal! But that’s it.

So day 2, I’ve actually had a little sugar yesterday and today. OOPSIE! But give me a break! I just started. Yesterday I had a glass of snapple tea with my lunch and didn’t even think about it having sugar. duh! Next I had a big spoonful of peanut butter. It was natural peanut butter, but it still had added sugar. Today, I ordered a lemonade with my lunch at chick-fil-a out of habit! As soon as I took the first sip I realized what I did. But I already paid for it. LOL. But that’s all I had today so I call that a win compared to what I normally consume in a day!

I’m feeling very run down and tired. Amplified by the fact that Mikalyn has kept us up the past two nights… I’m beat! I feel like I’m coming down with something too. Dry, scratchy throat, very thirsty, blah. A good friend that I think to be the master of abstaining from bad foods assures me that after the first few days you start to feel much better so I’m holding onto that hope! I honestly don’t think this is as bad as what a caffeine detox would be…. I seriously doubt I will ever attempt that! But who knows, if I can conquer this one, maybe I can do a caffeine one too!

Jessi

Tipsy Tuesday: Easiest way to dice an onion!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Wed, 30 Apr 2014 01:19:00 +0000

Hey Friends!! Welcome back to the blog Things have been so totally crazy since we’ve gotten home from Texas with Mikalyn blogging definitely took a backseat. Things are still crazy, but I feel much more inspired to write and have a little less brain fog now that Mikalyn is a little bit older! I am completely revamping the blog with a fresh name, fresh start. Things are still a little under construction, but I can’t wait to reconnect with y’all through this blog again!

Let’s kick this off with a Tipsy Tuesday! Each Tuesday I plan to share with y’all a great tip I’ve learned that has also proven to actually work! I want to share this awesome tip I’ve learned on how to dice an onion! Seriously since I came across this tip from a random website many months ago I have used it almost daily and will never dice an onion any differently! I wish I could remember what website it was to give it credit but alas I cannot.

To start, Slice your onion lengthwise through both ends like this:

Then chop one end like so: I prefer to leave the hairy end because it holds the onion together better while slicing. You will see why when you try it.

Next peel the outside layers back and you’re left with the first half you want to start dicing.

Take the half and slice into it towards the end but not completely so the end keeps the onion held together. Slice these as thick or as thin as you want.

Then turn it and slice across these cuts to get your perfectly diced little onions!

See how the natural layers of the onion allows each little dice to happen so easily?!

Now go chop your onions and prepare dinner even faster than before and spend less time crying over onions If you already knew this sweet tip then rock on with your kitchen skills! If you didn’t, please try it and let me know what you think! Happy Tuesday!

Jessi

Real sick, really messy, Real life

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Wed, 31 Jul 2013 03:32:00 +0000

Today I had to laugh at myself and my life right now. If you know me, or read my blog at all, you know how much I love to schedule and plan and organize. Schedules make me happy. I am constantly trying to implement new routines and organizational strategies to make our home run more efficiently. These schedules and routines end up being more of an "idea" of what our days/weeks can look like. More often then not I feel like super woman if even just one day falls into my ideal outline of chores to be completed, meals to be cooked, workout done, and fun time spent with Caden. (I only name Caden here because let's face it, Mikalyn's source of entertainment so far is simply watching the family and her hands with amazement)

With school starting in just two weeks, I thought (two weeks ago) it would be smart to get us all in the routine of getting to bed on time, and waking at a certain time so school wouldn't be such a shock when it starts. Great idea right?! I thought so too! The first week went well. I was loving getting up early, starting my morning and being so productive by the time lunch rolled around! Then Mikalyn got sick. Sick babies are the fastest way to kill a routine! She had a couple of stools with blood in it (don't panic! she's ok) and a slight fever so I took her to the doc and they advised it could be a dairy allergy. After sending a sample to the lab her results came back normal...meaning no infections to worry about. So we're sticking with the dairy allergy idea for now....

What do you do for a dairy allergy in a baby?! Well because I breastfeed I get to participate in the "no dairy diet". Cutting out dairy in my diet prevents the milk protein from getting to baby's tummy and making her sick. This. Is. Hard. It's amazing how much dairy I normally consume a day. I love milk. Always have. I have cheese as a snack, yogurt for breakfast or snack, a glass of milk, cheese on top of everything. Caden is also in love with cheese. Thankfully he has a gut like mine and can eat everything with no adverse reactions :) So Caden still gets cheese. And I get to serve it to him...and salivate. Sadly it's been a week of no dairy for me and have noticed improvement in Mikalyn. She spits up A LOT less and her stools are normal. Yes I said sadly. I was secretly hoping it was just a random weird thing that had nothing to do with anything and life would continue as normal with cheese and yogurt in my belly.

Next Mikalyn got a terrible ear infection. I say terrible not because the doctor deemed it as one, but because she was inconsolable until her meds kicked in and gave her some relief. Or she exhausted herself from crying and fell asleep. Poor little miss. This was Thursday. The next day she wakes up with extremely red eyes that obviously bother her because she's constantly rubbing them with her little fists. After a call to the doc to see what he thinks, we're on our way to his office for the third time that week. He prescribed her some eye ointment.... yes ointment, not drops. Have you ever tried to gently put ointment into a baby's eye before?! It's the worst. Trying to hold her little head straight and keep her eyelid open while you attempt to put ointment onto her terrified little eye looking at you.....breaks your heart. She got better. (Every time I say something with "got better" I automatically say it in my head like the line from monty python and the holy grail.) haha. ohh goodness. Really though, she's much better now! Back to herself which includes smiles and sleeping through the night! (mostly)

So this weekend I was ready to start fresh and get back into it. And I got sick. I now have strep throat and am terrified of getting the kids sick. Especially Mikalyn. I have ups and downs of feeling good and feeling like I've been hit by a truck. I'm on my own meds now that should have me feeling better in a couple days. In the meantime I get to try and work on TWO papers for my classes this week and take a two part midterm. Yeehaw.

As you can probably imagine my house is currently a mess. Jeremy has taken to doing the dishes because as one of my most hated chores I let the dishes pile up in the sink. I run my hand across the furniture in an attempt to get rid of the dust, fold laundry that's been sitting in baskets for days, try not to notice the bathrooms that need cleaning, and all I keep thinking is how awesome it is that Caden starts pre-school in two weeks!! I feel bad that I'm not emotional about it. Maybe because he has gone to a mother's morning out program before? This is different though because he will be going 5 days a week! And it's an actual school, not just a MMO. I'm mostly excited for Caden. It will be nice for me to have mornings to work on school work, but Caden has been in a season with us where we allow a little too much tv and ipad time. Some serious mom guilt going on over here. So I'm thrilled for him to be going to school to learn and be social with his friends!

My life right now looks nothing like I pictured it not long ago. I haven't yet figured out how to realistically get workouts in my days. My garden is about to be torn out because I can't devote the time and energy to taming it and the bugs that are wreaking havoc! I had a desire to home school Caden that changed because of our decision for me to go back to school and work towards my degree. I'm so thankful I get to do it, and love the challenges it's already bringing me, but, in the words of my dad: "holy buckets!" this is hard! Make no mistake I do look for the blessings in everything but Jesus has to help me with that because this mama can't do it all by herself!

Just thought I would share what's up around here for REAL. The not-so-glamorous life of Jessi :)

Moving forward as a family of 4

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Thu, 18 Jul 2013 12:52:00 +0000

Hey friends :) Good morning! I'm sitting here at my desk overlooking our street, the sun's rays are shining through the trees, birds are chirping and looking for breakfast, bees busy flying around the flowers, and the promise of a new day just beginning. I'm filled with joy knowing God's love for me and my family.

Mikalyn had another check up with the hematologist last week and her labs came back completely normal :) She's a perfectly healthy little girl and no one would ever know what she went through to come into this world. The same can be said for Caden! Not many people know, or remember that he had 3 transfusions after he was born and stayed in the NICU for 9 days before he came home with us, and even that was with a bilirubin light blanket. When you start planning for a family you can never imagine how your plans will change, and how God will never let you down.

We have been through this crazy season of pregnancy, loss, uncertainty and overwhelming joy. Now we will be moving forward as a family of 4. I'm so excited for this next season of life! I've started school online and it has forced me to really be mindful in how I schedule my time. While I've never been a morning person, I've always wanted to be able to rise early and ease into my mornings. I'm pretty sure I've blogged about that on several occasions :) This week I've been able to get up around 6! I could attribute it to Mikalyn waking up anywhere from 5:30-7 in the mornings. But hey it's helping me develop a routine! And I praise JESUS every morning for how well she sleeps. Seriously this girl is a scary good sleeper! She routinely goes to bed around 10, and doesn't wake until the next morning like I said, around 5:30-7. This morning I was able to get up, cook breakfast for myself (oatmeal with peaches), and Jeremy (eggs with veggies). Make coffee, start a load of diapers, and prepare and pack Jeremy's lunch before little miss even wiggled around. Not only does she sleep that long at night, but after I feed her in the morning and change her diaper she drifts back off to sleep for another few hours. I always thought those people that said their little babies were sleeping through the night were ridiculous and crazy. haha! Oh thank you Jesus.

You have no idea how good it feels to be able to blog about normal things instead of medical drama! I'm going down for my second cup of coffee. Caden is eating breakfast and singing along with Super Why, and Mikalyn is making sweet baby sleeping noises in her bassinet. *sigh* :) I hope yall have a great day!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Wed, 26 Jun 2013 02:34:00 +0000

Hey yall :) Since we've been back home I've been terrible at updating the blog. But if you're close friends and family you already know that Mikalyn is making her own blood!! She's doing so amazing and couldn't be more squishy and cute :) God has brought us through so much. Provided everything for us to get to this point. The doctors, the ability to be with the best, near family, and the financial peace that came with it. I've noticed that throughout this process even though God has provided so much, my relationship with Him is not as strong as it was in the beginning.

Isn't that sad? It takes trial and heartache for me to seek Him out on a daily basis? And while I praise Him everyday and thank Him for our beautiful miracle all day every day I have somehow stopped really talking to Him. I stopped reading my bible, stopped trying to learn. And I feel the difference. Of course that is probably being a mom to a little bitty baby, a four year old and my mind on a million and one things trying to build new routines and getting ready to start school next week!

Today was the first day I was able to attend a women's bible study and wow how amazing did that feel to be surrounded by other moms who all understood each other, and discuss God's plan for us as mothers. We talked about building our own relationship with Christ and learning and studying the bible in order to lead by example for our children. I admitted my struggle with making the time and that usually when I read or attempt a devotional I'm doing it to just check the box. To say yep I did it. Then I tend to not make the time to read because I know I'm just checking the box and probably not going to get much out of it.

This week I've been trying to be more intentional with my daily routine. To rise early and workout, prepare healthy, real meals for our family, spend actual play time with Caden instead of constantly telling him go play with his toys. In order for me to accomplish the things I want throughout my day I need to get in the habit. Wake up early each day. Go to bed at a decent time. Get the chores done that need to be done. In order to build habits you need to do them every day right? I think I remember hearing somewhere it takes 21 days to develop a new habit. I know when I try to get back in the routine of working out I need to some days just do it. Even if its not the most spectacular workout. So wouldn't it work the same with carving out time for the Lord? And is it not far more important?! Will I always have a deep spiritual moment? No. But Ill be reading, and something will stick even if I don't know what at the time. So my point is that I wont feel badly if some days I really just checked the box. Because I'll eventually develop the routine. And once the routine is built, even if I don't feel like it some days, Ill still need to check that box and make the time or else Ill begin to fall out of habit again.

I want my habits to include the Lord. So I can glorify Him and show my children how important it is to do the same! What's your daily routine? And what helps you stay on top of it?

Mikalyn Nancy Marx

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:25:00 +0000

March 20th, 2013 on the first day of spring, at 1:18 pm weighing in at 7 lbs 15 oz, and 19 inches long, Mikalyn was born! No amount of words we could say will ever explain the feeling of hearing those first cries. Jeremy and I were both feeling like we were in a dream the day before her birthday. There we were, after 9 months of uncertainty we were about to meet her in person. God had answered our prayers, (and yours!). Personally I still felt like I had a guard up. Even though I was ready, with all clothes washed and folded, diaper bag packed, my bag packed, Caden excited to meet his baby sister, family lined up to watch him while we were in the hospital, freezer meals prepared for when we got home. I knew anything could happen. The "what ifs" snuck into my thoughts even as I knew and trusted that God had her in his hands. I couldn't help it!

But he gave her to us. He knit her together in my womb and we praise him because she is fearfully and wonderfully made. His works are wonderful! He already knew and saw her life and now we get the chance to know and love her.

Daddy holding Mikalyn first!

I got to see her and kiss her face before they took her to the NICU.

After she was born they immediately took her to the NICU to be monitored and put on the bili lights since she was jaundiced. This was somewhat expected. I knew she would be in the NICU soon after being born, but had hoped to be able to hold her and feed her before. I wasn't able to go to the NICU until the next morning. They agreed to let me hold her with the light blanket for about 10 minutes before she needed to go back under the lights.

Finally. I get to hold her. When I first came into the NICU the nurse was drawing blood to check her levels so I had to wait a few minutes before she was finished. To hear the nurses talk about her and how sweet she is and calm and chill, it was like a stab in the heart to hear others talk about my daughter in such a way that they knew her more than I did. It was different hearing it from Jeremy since he spent a lot of time in there with her. He's her dad and I loved hearing him tell me about her. But hearing it from anyone else was hard. I'm so thankful for such caring nurses though. Just jealous new mom emotions! They were right, she is so calm and content.

After 3 days under the lights the doctors decided to take her off the lights to see how well she would do. If her levels stayed stable then she would have the chance at coming home with us! Because she could be off the lights I was allowed to get her dressed!

She looked so sweet in her first little outfit :) And not being on the lights allowed us to hold her as much as we wanted in the NICU. So we took turns going back and forth from my room to the NICU, Jeremy taking me up in a wheelchair until I was able to walk. After a couple more blood tests it was decided on Saturday she was stable enough to be released from the NICU and come to our room! What a huge surprise that was considering Caden was in the NICU for 9 days. We were so excited! And especially excited for Caden to finally be able to see and hold his sister! Every time he came to my room he would ask where baby sister was.

He's such a great big brother already. :)

They did another blood draw to test her levels and because her bilirubin was remaining stable she was able to go home with us on Sunday!

Happy Daddy :)

I just love this squishy face!!

Such a proud big brother!

Now I did say home, but not Georgia home. We're still in Houston, and will remain here until her body starts making her own blood! Because of all the transfusions she received, her body did not need to make it's own blood. She was getting blood that was typed like mine so my antibodies would not attack it! Now we have to wait for her body to kick in and start making her own blood again. We will be closely monitored by weekly blood tests. She will most likely need another transfusion before she starts making her own. The doctors expect it take about 6 weeks for her to make her own. How long until she needs another transfusion we don't know. I would imagine soon because in the womb she was getting transfusions every 2 weeks. It's already been 3 weeks since her last one! So it is purely God's hand that her numbers are still good. So we have to monitor that, and make sure she doesn't get sick. Because she's not making her own white blood cells yet to attack anything she's exposed to.

So for now we are just praising God and loving every second of her life. She is such a good baby. She hardly ever cries (which is sometimes a little scary because she's so quiet!) , is content to sleep everywhere especially daddy's chest, and when she's awake she's just so peaceful gazing around making little squeaks when she gets the hiccups :)

God's provision through all of this has been and I know will continue to be amazing. Look at this life that we were told could not happen, and that we should not try again for! She's here and absolutely perfect.

I also want to share something that Jeremy wrote the day before we had her. Laying out the numbers of everything so far:

Cost of three 8-12 hour days of Plasmapheresis and 10 weeks of IVIG therapy (twice/week for Mom):

· estimated $200,000.00

Cost of 7 intrauterine blood transfusions (for You, and plenty of Valium for Mom!):

· estimated $7,000 (just for blood-not including Doctor, anesthesia, and OR fees)

Number of 5 inch needles inserted into your Mom’s abdomen:

· 12

Number of needles inserted into your abdomen in the womb:

· 5

Number of Dad’s Sleepless Nights (for both of You!):

· Too many to count

Number of Doctor’s Appointments:

· 46

Number of people praying for you: Uncountable

Number of days in the NICU:

· 3

Number of hours under the Bilirubin lights:

· 72hrs

Total monetary, emotional, and physical cost:

· Incalculable

Bringing home a baby girl, which every Doctor said was nearly impossible to have except one:

Divinely Priceless.

Thank you Lord, Jesus Christ, for this miracle of a baby girl. Who else but you, could be the reason behind the creation of life. We Praise you while recognizing your hands God, and thank you for the blessings you have given to us.

Mikalyn Nancy Marx.

· Born 20 March 2013.
· Weight: 7 lbs. 15 oz
· Length: 19 inches

Emotions and thoughts of a pregnant lady :)

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 01:46:00 +0000

Happy Thursday yall! It's 6 days away from Mikalyn's birthday and I'm doing my best not to wish the days away. After all, this is my LAST pregnancy. One thing I remember missing from being pregnant with Caden and Christian was their movements. So I'm trying to cherish every kick, swish, push and hiccup. I'm also trying not to panic about something happening to her between now and then. I have two more appts before the 20th. One ultrasound tomorrow and an OB appt. Monday. So I feel confident the docs are keeping just as close an eye on her as we are. We've just come so far.

During the c-section they're going to go ahead and tie my tubes. EEK! Seems so strange to think about doing something so permanent, but after LOTS of prayer it just feels like the best plan for us. We have been blessed beyond belief by God with the care and support from the doctors, insurance, Jeremy's work, family, and friends that to purposely do it again and again to have more kids in the future would be just selfish. Not to mention being displaced from our home and friends for such a long time. I know God has put this on our hearts so I don't worry or question the decision. Although the specialist we see here Dr. Moise likes to make it a point to say we should DEFINITELY get my tubes tied that a small part of me wants to just not do it in spite. LOL. You know when someone tells you HAVE to do something, or NOT to do something it makes you want to do it just because? haha.

Oh goodness just thinking about even trying to do this all over again makes me anxious and sad! I miss our home so much. Not just our house, but Columbus. This time of year there's so much to do. I absolutely Love Springtime. I've found myself having urges to go to home depot or Lowes or the nursery down the street from my house and buy plants to plant in our gardens. I daydream about what our yard must look like right now with the azalea bushes blooming, the iris's in my front garden bed that always bloom early, and the jasmine smelling so sweet climbing all over the trellis in our backyard. *sigh* Although I'm sure there's so many leaves in our yard it doesn't look as pretty as I picture. I miss visiting the market on Saturdays downtown, playdates at the parks with Caden's buddies and my dear friends. I still see all the updates on facebook from my mom's group and I feel so bad for Caden not getting to participate!

Oh dear sweet Caden. I have a major case of Mom guilt. He's at such a prime age for learning that my lack of energy or ability to find a playgroup here has made me feel like the worst mom. Since Jeremy has been able to be here they go out to the park, find ponds to fish in, fly kites, just have some awesome man time together that they haven't had the opportunity to get much of since we were separated the whole beginning of the pregnancy. But I have not done much of anything for teaching. And probably let him watch a little too much Disney Channel and ipad. It's just a season. I have to remember it's just a season. And all so very worth it!

So after she's born we will have to be here for a little while longer to make sure she's healthy and making her own red blood cells. Remember right now all she has is donor blood. So her body has completely stopped making it's own. Once she's born she will most likely need another transfusion. Not sure how long it will be until she needs it, or how many more she might need after. The doctor says it could take as little as a month for her to start making her own red blood cells, and as long as three. But the three month time frame is apparently pretty rare. So we are thinking and hoping about a month. Then we get to go HOME! And she should not have to be in the NICU for that whole time frame. Or even at all if she's not born jaundiced! We will just have to be going in often for little (tearful) heel pricks to check her blood counts.

Almost there. Update yall again soon!

10 days left!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Sun, 10 Mar 2013 18:37:00 +0000

Last week we had our 7th and LAST transfusion and now we're counting down the days until we get to meet our beautiful little blessing. It's completely unbelievable. God has brought us so far! I've finally been in baby prep mode :) It's still hard to picture her coming into this world and holding her, kissing her sweet face. I get emotional just thinking about it now. But washing her clothes, cloth diapers, packing a diaper bag, it's much more of a reality.

We're scheduled to have a c-section on the 20th, 10 days away yall! 10 DAYS!! Starting today I have to take some medicine called phenobarbital 3 times a day until she's born. This will help develop her liver so that it will be strong enough to process the bilirubin so hopefully she won't be jaundiced and need the lights when she's born! It's supposed to make me pretty sleepy (as if I'm not tired enough!) So Thankfully I got most of what I wanted to get done before today.

I'm constantly praying that God continues to keep her healthy. I fully understand and try to prepare myself that anything could happen between now and the 20th. Women with completely normal pregnancies lose babies suddenly with no understanding of what happened. It's difficult to not guard our hearts until she is in our arms. And even until we are all headed back home to Georgia! But we still have faith and trust in God. And praise him for all that he's done for us so far!! I mean seriously. None of this would be possible without God's hand.

Before this last transfusion Mikalyn was measuring 7 lbs! She definitely feels BIG. But my belly isn't outrageously large or anything. It certainly FEELS like it, but doesn't look it. She's for sure running out of space! Her face was squished up against my belly at the last ultrasound. haha. Poor baby.

Here's a couple pics of this last transfusion. She was giving Dr. Moise a hard time by constantly moving in the way so it took them a while to get her in a good position. They switched sides three different times I think! She's such a wiggle worm.

Planning to spend the next 10 days relaxing and crafting :) I need to sew up a nursing cover, and I have recently taken up crocheting so I'll be making her some fun stuff! Have a great Sunday!

Quickie update and some pics

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Wed, 20 Feb 2013 01:02:00 +0000

Hello hello! So wanted to quickly update everyone on Micailyn. We had an ultrasound today to check on her, and get measurements for Thursday's transfusion. Starting with the good news, the fluid level has gone down! Her MCA scan also is in the normal range, and she gained a whole pound and a half in a week! She was 4 pounds last week, 5 pounds 8 oz. this week :) So last week's transfusion and the steroid shots I got definitely helped her kick it back into gear. I was so glad to hear that her quick weight gain matched how my body felt this week! haha. I continue to be beat up and stretched to my limits with this little diva!
So I guess the only bad news from today is that she still does have some fluid in her belly. That and we're still unsure now when her delivery week will be. I'm 33 weeks this week, so as long as nothing happens for us to have to deliver early, It could potentially be 37 or 38 weeks. That's just 4 to 5 weeks away! We have the next transfusion still scheduled for Thursday. Praying that she continues to clear up the fluid on her own and that this transfusion goes well without the need for an emergency c-section.

Now that I've updated yall on Micailyn for the umpteenth time, I thought you would like to see pictures of our little guy! He's been such a trooper since we've been here. Not being around his friends, or getting a lot of time to go play with other kids. It's been on and off nice weather here, so Jeremy has taken him to a little pond nearby stocked with fish to practice his fishing skills :)

Jeremy showing him how to push the worm on the hook

Getting his worm for his next cast.

We caught one!!

Walking one day with mommy. We found some dandelions to blow!

We used our homemade binoculars to watch the ducks

And we enjoyed some Valentine love from Grammy :)

As always, more updates as they happen. Have a great week yall!

One transfusion at a time

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Fri, 15 Feb 2013 23:17:00 +0000

Hey yall. Wow what a week! We are pretty exhausted and have another tiring week ahead of us next week. But for now, Micailyn is being well taken care of. God has her in his hands, and yall have just completely covered us in prayer.

The transfusion on Tuesday went well. No emergency c-section needed, her heart rate stayed at a normal rate, and post transfusion she's moving around well. The doctor is still unsure why the fluid build up in her belly. All of our blood work came back normal. Which is great, but gives us no answer why she has the fluid. So we're praying this transfusion helps to clear it up. Because of the fluid, he did not put blood in her belly like he was able to do in previous transfusions. Which gives us less time before she needs another transfusion. He was just able to give her blood through the umbilical cord. So, we have an ultrasound appointment on Tuesday to find out if the fluid has cleared up and get her measurements for the next transfusion Thursday.

Next week I will be 33 weeks. They will not do another transfusion past 35. So we will definitely have one more transfusion after Thursday at 35 weeks. And then we will see how long we can make it before needing to deliver her. 10 days before the c-section I will need to take some meds 3 times a day to help develop her liver so that when she's born she can properly process the bilirubin and not be jaundiced. Apparently these will make me and Micailyn pretty tired.

Everything seems so much closer, yet so very far away! I feel like she's grown a lot in the last few days since the transfusion because my belly feels like it's being stretched to it's max! And when she pushes at my belly button it pokes out! haha. It's pretty funny to see my belly button randomly poke out. My muscles where they put the needle are always pretty sensitive afterwards. Not to mention the mix of other pregnancy woes. Sore back, muscles, nerve pain, stiff neck, tired.... whine whine whine :) Yes I'm complaining, but I am very thankful for it all at the same time. This picture is from the recovery room with the chocolate covered strawberries Jeremy surprised me with :)

So that's where we're at, taking it one transfusion at a time, relying on God to get us through and trusting his plans for our baby girl. Thank yall for your continued prayers and messages of love and support. You are so amazing for caring so much!

Prayers Needed for Micailyn

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Tue, 12 Feb 2013 00:38:00 +0000

Hey y'all. So today's appointment didn't go as well as the previous ones.

The ultrasound revealed Micailyn has fluid built up in her abdomen, a high MCA scan showing she is anemic, and the doctor said her heart is a little big probably trying to compensate for the anemia. He is unsure of why the fluid is built up because the blood in her body is all donor blood from the last transfusion which was matched to my blood. Meaning my antibodies have nothing to attack. He does have a thought that perhaps I have formed a new antibody they aren't yet aware of. So we are waiting for the blood work to come back to see if that's the case.

Regardless, we are still proceeding with the transfusion tomorrow because she definitely needs it. They will have staff on hand in case she cannot tolerate the transfusion and needs to be delivered by emergency c-section.

We are pretty surprised to be honest. Her movements are still normal when I go about my day. She was also moving all over the place during the ultrasound. I didn't expect her to be so sick. I don't know how to feel right now. It's a little reminiscent of Christian. We went in for a normal appointment to find out he needed a transfusion and was sick. However this time we already had plans for a transfusion, and thankfully the fluid is not making her hydropic like Christians was. There's no fluid around the heart or under her skin. And she's moving around where I could tell with Christian his movements were greatly decreased. So those are all hopeful signs she will be ok. Still worrisome of course, but hopeful.

I don't think we will know for a few days after the transfusion if it helps her clear up the fluid. We might possibly need another transfusion next week. So to be on the safe side my baby shower that was supposed to be in Dallas this weekend will have to be postponed.

Please continue to pray for her! She's a tough little girl, so if she is to be born early pray her strength continues through a stay in the NICU. I really have no feeling one way or another as far as what I think will happen. I'm just trusting in God's plan for her and for us. It's all completely out of our hands just like it has been this whole time. That's one aspect I've grown in with my faith is just trusting. I constantly hear this verse in my head when I think I should be worried and for some reason I'm not stressing:

" Trust in the LORD with all your heart; and lean not to your own understanding. "

-Proverbs 3:5

So I do, I continue to trust in the Lord. It's quite amazing how simple it is. Perhaps this will help me continue to just trust in Him with all other aspects of our lives when this is all over. Just the simple everyday stresses we encounter in life. The ones that we try to rely on our own understanding, because why would I need to trust in God for the little stuff? The day to day grind, our responsibilities in our jobs, to our family, friends, all of it. Those are easy things right? Things we are solely responsible for. God has better things to take care of than my silly daily duties. But if I can seek Him and trust in Him with something BIG then it should be a million times easier in the little ones. Not to mention a lot less stress right?!

The transfusion is tomorrow morning. We will be at the hospital at 5:30 am, procedure starting at 7:30. Will provide another update when possible. Love yall and thanks for caring so much about our family!

Blog update and 32 weeks!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Mon, 11 Feb 2013 13:42:00 +0000

Happy Monday! And welcome to my newly updated blog! :) I decided it needed a new fresh look. Something cleaner, simpler. A new space to share my thoughts, updates, what's happening in our little world!
With all the chaos around here I felt my blog was also a little too busy. I needed something more like a blank canvas. Something like a crisp blank notebook paper waiting to be written or doodled on. So I hope you like it! A big thanks to Sarah for designing the new look for me :)

So here I am now at 32 weeks! She's grown a lot in the past month. Here's a comparison from 28 weeks and now.

28 weeks was also my last transfusion and Micailyn weighed 3 pounds exactly. I'm hoping she's at 5 now or at least very close! Especially since the scale has jumped a ridiculous amount, and I can now rest my coffee cup on my tummy when I'm sitting ;)

The previous transfusions were 1, 2, then 3 weeks apart. This one will have been 4! Such a blessing God has been watching over her helping her grow and stay healthy and active. It's still unreal how far we've come. Today we go in for her pre-op ultrasound to get her measurements and approximate weight for the transfusion on Tuesday. I'll be honest I'm completely over these transfusions. They are not fun, and each one seems a little harder than the last to recooperate from. Thankfully after this we only have one more, then we will schedule the c-section!

Right now it looks like we will be scheduling it for week 39 which is the first week of April. For a little while we talked about 38 weeks, and for a brief time 37, but 39 will give her the best chance at having a better developed liver to process the bilirubin and hopefully not be jaundiced. So we will see what happens and continue to pray.

That's it for now, will definitely update again later this week after the transfusion. Have a great week yall!

Lay it down and live it up!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Mon, 28 Jan 2013 21:14:00 +0000

Happy Monday yall! Monday's aren't usually that "happy" because everyone's got so many responsibilites to take care of during the week. Which, when you think about it, we should all be recharged and ready to take it on because we've just had a weekend to relax and church the previous day to remind us who's really in control, and how much we are loved.

But somehow that's not the case. Our mind switches over to all of our to-do's. Work, school, kids, spouse, budget, chores, hobbies, cooking, exercising, family, health etc.
And lots of moms think we should be able to take care of ALL these things and do it without a single complaint and a happy smile on our faces.

And with social media like facebook, blogs, twitter, instagram etc. we all tend to just share our successes and happiness. Which is totally normal! It's like the old saying "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all!" Of course some people have no problem complaining and sharing, but I find most of those people tend to JUST complain and not focus on the happy parts of their lives. Anyway, I really only like to share the fun stuff. A yummy meal I made, a cool family outing, cute pictures. You know what I'm talking about. Because its so much easier to share the fun stuff. And not to mention encouraging because others like to hear it!

We have to remember that this image we see in public isn't everything. Everyone has stresses, worries, really just LIFE that we carry around with us all the time. Leaving us to feel more like this:

And then even more stressed because perhaps none of our friends are talking about or sharing their stresses. We feel overwhelmed, like failures, and just HEAVY carrying around this weight.

I wanted to blog about all this because yesterday at church the pastor had a great visual of how we all tend to wear our life. He had two volunteers come up and then gave them each a prop that represented our responsibilities in life.

So picture yourself doing the same. Physically carrying around the following:

A cookbook (cooking/eating healthy)

a computer (bills, work, social media)

your kids/family (I know this one is easy to picture because who isn't walking around with a baby on her hip while multitasking!)

a broom/mop/vacuum (chores)

A bible (spiritual life)

And whatever else you do extracurricular

Sports equipment

Crafting supplies

Tools

It's A LOT. I'm sure you could think of several other things that represent your personal life to add to that list and carry around each day. The point was

"If you wear your life it will wear you out!"

Can I get an AMEN?! I'm a very visual person when it comes to learning, and understanding so this just really hit home for me. How exhausting to carry around all these things. Now obviously we don't physically walk around carrying each of these objects. But we kind of do. It's all on our minds all the time. It starts to weigh us down. And we get frustrated and upset.

I also happened to be reading one of my favorite magazines, Whole Living, and there was an article about a book written by Adam Phillips called 'Missing out: In praise of the Unlived Life' It's a self help book that I have not personally read yet but the topic has a lot of truth.

"Much of our "so-called mental life" is spent fantasizing about what we don't have but wish we did. We are haunted by thought of what might have been, whether romantically or in our career choices. "In our unlived lives" he writes, "we are always more satisfied, far less frustrated versions of ourselves" The author argues against indulging in such wistful thinking. He urges readers not to dwell on supposed missed opportunities which might have ultimately disappointed us anyway. "The myth of our potential can make of our lives a perpetual falling-short, a continual and continuing loss" he says. ....... Above all, Phillips reminds us that to yearn for the unlived life is to sabotage the one we have."

I find that last sentence pretty powerful.

"To yearn for the unlived life is to sabotage the one we have"

Do you ever think of things you wish you did, or could do differently? If I could just do this better, or get this, this, and this done I would be happy. I would be caught up. Do you constantly think about all the things you don't have that you feel would just make life so much better? I know I can definitely be caught up in those thoughts. And it keeps me from focusing on the awesome life I do have. SABOTAGE. This word kind of makes me laugh because my hubby is usually saying caden is sabotaging him by strategically leaving toys in his way. haha! Ok sorry for the random thought....

Ok back on topic. In the bulletin notes at church was this statement: "Stop chasing after your life and start chasing after God's!" Matthew 6:25-27 portrays how little we need to worry because God will take care of us.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?"

The next visual was of the volunteers on the stage then taking off all of the props and laying it at the foot of the cross. So picture that for yourself now. Take all those things we thought about physically carrying around and lay them down at God's feet. Feel free now? Is it a little scary to just give up control? Answer me this then, are you really doing that great all by yourself? All these 'things' we let muddy our thoughts and lives take over too much. We can't see the fruits that God is giving us.

^"Still others, like seed sown among thorns, hear the word; ¹⁹but the worries of this life, the deceitfulness of wealth and the desires for other things come in and choke the word, making it unfruitful." Mark 4:18-19

Lay it down at His feet. Let God take control so that we can live the life He has promised us. Stop carrying such a burden that He is so willing to carry for you. TRUST that He will give you the ability to accomplish what you can, and that you cannot do it alone. Don't be afraid to lay it all down & LIVE IT UP!

2013 Resolution

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Mon, 14 Jan 2013 00:10:00 +0000

For the past few years I have made countless resolutions, plans, goals, and to-do lists of what I want to include in my days. Not just for the typical new years resolutions, but throughout the year when I get frustrated with my lack of discipline, lack of time, energy, you name it.   I would start strong with a fabulous list and then a blog post of what I will get done now. There should be NO EXCUSE why I can't accomplish (insert project, task, chore here) every day. And there were many times I would actually be productive and accomplish what I wanted in the first few days.

Does it ever last long? Nope. It's constant failure. Lack of self-discipline. Procrastination. Frustration. So I have constantly searched for the reasons why. Paid attention to what kept interfering with my plans for each day. I could, of course, never put my finger on anything specific.

Since we've been away from home I haven't even tried to create a schedule for us. There's no point! Too many appointments, away from home and our friends to hang out with. Not to mention I felt like poo for so long. Now Jeremy is here with us, and we have a little more time in between transfusions. Life has settled just a bit and the desire for consistency and a routine has returned!

2012 came to an end and the new year began so beautifully with our family together again and the hopes of our baby girl joining in the very near future.  I started thinking again about what to do now while I have a little more time and energy. Not to mention I don't have a whole household of chores to do! :) So I reflected on the past and why I could never succeed at what i set out to accomplish. What kind of resolutions should I set that are realistic? What can I start doing now that would have a good impact and habits for when we return home?

It was blaringly obvious. The ONLY thing I should be concerned with making sure I do EVERYDAY is time with the Lord. In the word. Everything else will fall into place. Don't get me wrong, I still know the importance of everyday chores and taking care of the family, or if you have to go to work each day, but I also know that without starting each day with the focus on HIM all those daily tasks can quickly become frustrating, mundane, and just plain unfulfilling.

I constantly crave routine, and schedules. But I can't be successful at anything else until my relationship with God is strengthened. When I'm setting out to accomplish things on my own I will fail. And I KNOW this to be fact. So why then did I constantly try to do anything otherwise?

So my 2013 Resolution:

Get to know God first. Let HIM be my routine each day. Build that foundation first. I can't wait to see what He has in store for me and my family this year. What I will learn from studying, reading and praying.

So how about you? What are your resolutions for this year? I would love to hear them so I can pray for you to be successful!

27 weeks and going strong!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Wed, 09 Jan 2013 02:00:00 +0000

So I've been a lazy blogger but for a good reason! Everything has been going so smoothly there really hasn't been much to report! We had another succesful transfusion right after Christmas and now are able to wait 3 weeks between each one. It almost feels like a normal pregnancy. :)

After this last transfusion my doctor informed us that now we have reached the point where there is a 90% success rate!! I cried. We plan for 3 more transfusions by the time she's ready to be delivered at 38 weeks! That's only 11 weeks away. The thought of bringing her home is finally such a reality I actually registered at babies r us the other day :)

Jeremy is also here now until the baby is born and able to come home to stay! It's such a relief to be here all together with no pending trips back home for Jeremy. We aren't sure what to do with this time together now we're so used to being apart and living our own routines! It's been funny though to compare how I've been doing things and how he's been doing them. He's usually on a deployment or training during our separations so he's essentially been living as a "bachelor" in our house by himself. He has his own daily routine and chore system than my own. And Caden being older each time Daddy comes home introduces new changes and differences than the time before.

Micailyn is super strong. Her kicks and movements are so much stronger than I remember Caden's being. They hurt! Could have something to do with holes in my muscles from the needles of each transfusion, but she really is big! I took some pictures today to share. I'm already feeling very uncomfortable. It's difficult to find a cozy position sitting, or laying down, and standing for too long Micailyn gets fidgity and pushes out making my tummy sore. She likes to hang out really low.

this one is my view looking down.. can no longer see my feet! :) It's funny how my belly looks huge from one angle and small from others. If you think it looks small trust me it feels BIG! haha. And I have much more to grow. Yikes!

Now that we're together as a family and have more time in between appointments and transfusions I hope to be blogging more.

Happy New Year to yall! This is already shaping up to be a beautiful new year!!

6 months

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 17:13:00 +0000

I'm 6 months! It sounds really great to say but when I think of it in terms of weeks (24) it sounds crazy that I'm not further along. Haha! We've just gone through so much from the start of this pregnancy it feels like we should be further than 24 weeks. But we are so happy to even be this far!

This week I received two steroid shots to help develop the baby's lungs in case she is born early. Every transfusion we do while increasing her chances at growing bigger without being attacked by my antibodies also pose a risk at causing pre-term labor. I have a meeting today with the neonatologist to tour the NICU and discuss what to expect and chances of survival at each stage. A little nervous about the discussion, but very thankful we have this opportunity.

Jeremy will not be able to be there because he had to leave yesterday. His last trip back home to Columbus for his second surgery. His surgery is Friday, will be in the hospital for the weekend, recover at the house Monday and hopefully feel well enough to travel back home Tuesday (yes I realize that's Christmas :/ ) . My dad is with him to help out and drive him back. When they return, I have my next transfusion Thursday. So not only will Jeremy be recovering from surgery, I will be on bed rest for a couple days from my transfusion. haha! Oh goodness. We plan to have our own family Christmas next weekend. So just a little late. Not too bad!

Somehow I WANT to be stressed out. I mean the idea of, and just saying everything that's happening right now seems crazy town. But God's definitely blessing us with supernatural peace in it all. I could go off on a complaint rant wishing this was different, and that was different but I just feel thankful. Absolutely thankful and blessed.

Have a beautiful day!

Transfusion number 2 done!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Tue, 11 Dec 2012 23:01:00 +0000

Today we had our second transfusion that was another success! I'm feeling so incredibly blessed that things are going so well. The hope of bringing little Micailyn home with us becomes more real every week!

I'm 23 weeks this week and my next transfusion will be at 25 weeks. That's scheduled for two days after Christmas! The more donor blood she gets the longer we can wait in between transfusions. So after that transfusion we can wait 3 weeks between each one. Should everything continue to go smoothly then the last transfusion will be at 35 weeks with a plan to deliver at 38 weeks. March 5th is 35 weeks, and March 26th is 38! That puts us at having a total of 6 transfusions when all is said and done. It may not go specifically on an every 3 week perfect schedule. She may need one sooner than the 3 week mark, or Dr. Moise's schedule may conflict and need to complete it before going out of town or something. He is pretty great and does a lot of work elsewhere.

I am amazed at how normal I feel after the transfusion is done and I've spent a couple hours in the recovery room. I take a nap in there, eat some food, make sure I can feel her move which means she's woken up from her meds too and we are discharged! The procedure was at 7:30 am this morning. (I had to be there at 5:30) and I was home by 12:30 this afternoon. I feel tired from the meds, and my tummy is a little sore from the needles, but otherwise I feel fine. And apparently so does Micailyn because she's been jumping around all day!
I'm supposed to take it easy on bed rest today and the rest of the time I'm not allowed to pick up anything heavy ( Caden ), or do anything strenuous. They defined it as pretty much "home rest". I can do everything at home for the most part, rest and just be smart. Each time they give her a transfusion it's creating a hole in the membranes that does not heal back.

It has been a challenge to not work out like I would like, and mostly to not pick up Caden. For example getting him into the grocery cart! And really weird to get physically tired when on my feet for only 30-45 minutes. I think that's God helping me know when enough is enough because I don't think these procedures are actually causing me to be so tired. And He knows how much I like to stay busy!

Anyway here are some great pictures Karen took during the procedure today and sent to me.

Just amazing.

Be blessed yall!

The evolution of a name :)

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 02:36:00 +0000

We've finally decided on a name for baby girl! Somehow it has taken us constant back and forth to agree on her name. Neither one of us liked the names the other chose. It was maddening. Picking names for the boys was so very easy! This is yet another sign I'm sure that she will be anything but easy when she is finally here. :)

We started with Cailyn. We both liked it. It was cute. And began with C!! We thought we would go with C names for everyone. Then one day at lunch with some friends they asked what her name would be. I said Cailyn and one of my friends casually commented that would be interesting when calling out the kid's names because Caden and Cailyn sound so similar.

Darn it!! I hadn't even thought about that but once it was said, it was so very true. So I told Jeremy I wanted to pick a different name because they sound too much alike. He would not budge for a while. It was so very frustrating! Somehow we ended up with Kyndal. Or Kendall, there's lots of ways to try and spell it. We thought that would be it!

Then at our nephew's birthday party there was a little boy who's name was very similar to Caden's. McCaden. (I'm not sure if that's exactly how they spelled it but that's how it sounds) So on the way home we talked about how interesting to add Mc in front of the name. So we talked about maybe using Mckyndal. Tossed around a couple more names and Jeremy came back to Cailyn. Mckaylin? Makaylin? Mackaelyn? We quickly decided we did not like the Mac part of it but definitely loved the rest of the name. Adding the M sound in front of Cailyn was a perfect way to be able to use what we liked from the start!

Now came another hard decision. How do we spell it? There are three parts to the name, The "Ma" the "Kay" and the "Lyn". All have different ways to spell them. Do we choose Mi, My, Ma? And for the middle do we choose kay, kai, ka, kae? AND do we choose the k or a c? We both decided pretty easily that we liked lyn for the end. Also whichever you like best for each part you have to make sure it flows well together. Or you'll end up with all i's or y's!

Then to figure out a middle name... I won't delay that one for you ;) It's Nancy! We wanted to honor Jeremy's Grandmother who is one of the most Godly women we know. She is such an inspiration. We love you Grammy Nancy!

Now without further delay here is the first Marx Grand daughter's name:

Micailyn Nancy Marx

I absolutely love it! We finally came back to our original name and just added the Mi on the front :) hehe! Not to mention her initials are MNM :) How cute is that? Now I can finally address her by name to everyone! I wanted to share the name sooner but thought I should wait until we agreed on the spelling. We love you baby Micailyn! Keep being strong in there. You're loved by so many already.

Just some regular stuff and pictures :)

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 17:40:00 +0000

Hey yall :) Thought I would share some pictures we've taken recently. Life is still happening outside of the hospital stuff! And why not talk about regular pregnancy stuff instead of all the complicated mumbo jumbo? ;)

Here is my 22 weeks pic! I'm trying to get a belly pic every two weeks.

Somehow this doesn't look as big as I feel. Yes I realize I have a LONG way to go! I'm up a pant size meaning it's no longer comfortable to just do the rubber band trick on my regular jeans. Bummer. I'm only allowed to do some short walks and swim in a pool for any exercise so I'm hoping to stay on top of that for fear of gaining the 50 pounds like I did with Caden! I also totally realize it's such a small thing to even concern myself with but let's be real around here! I'm used to lots of physical activity and love working out at the gym. Especially now that I no longer feel sick it's difficult to not be so active. Pray I can steer clear of the junk food!

We're still working on our Advent and loving it! This was day 2 talking about Jesus our King! He had the crown he's wearing from church the other day so that was a plus :)

This was the crown he made. I did the cutting part but he painted and glued the sequins.

This one was really cute :) We read a story about Gabriel coming to tell Zechariah that his wife Elizabeth would have a baby! But because Zechariah did not believe Gabriel, the angel took away his ability to speak until the child was born. So we put a bubble from bubble wrap as his mouth and popped it to symbolize Zechariah's silence. We both had fun with this!

This was Day 4 that we just completed yesterday since we were a little busy on the 4th. We made the angel Gabriel and read the story of the angel coming to tell Mary she would have a son! This was a special night since Jeremy was able to read the story to Caden this time :)

We went to dinner last night and enjoyed some beautiful Christmas decor :) Jeremy had to fly back home this morning and won't be able to come back in time for next week's transfusion but we are so thankful he was here for the first, and to be near eachother just for a couple days.

First Transfusion a Success!

noreply@blogger.com (Jessi @ Make Your Marx at Home) — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 02:30:00 +0000

Hey there! If we are friends on facebook than you already know that our first transfusion was a success! I don't even know where to start. Jeremy was able to fly in last minute to be with me for this procedure! Thank the Lord for airline miles!!

We both had a really good feeling going in that God's plan was going the way it should and while we were preparing our hearts for bad news somehow it didn't seem necessary. We never once had a feeling of dread or panic. It was simply peaceful. The nurses and doctors kept commenting on how calm we seemed. It also helped immensely that everyone was on the ball and explained everything perfectly. Not once were we confused or felt like there was a lack of communication between nurses and doctors. Everyone played their part with professionalism and with caring hearts. What more could we ask?!

My parents were also at the hospital keeping Caden entertained and there for support. So blessed to have them so close right now. We've spent far too many years living on opposite ends of the country!

As I said, everything went smoothly. I was prepped, got to wear the cool paper gown, surgical cap and some awesome stockings and thick red socks ;)

I also made sure to wear the angel pin I was given after we lost Christian. I wanted to remember him throughout the whole thing. All the nurses just loved seeing it which helped me talk about him and not be anxious. I'm sure he was with God watching over his baby sister.

Once I was ready to go I was wheeled upstairs, Jeremy dropped off in the waiting area to hang with my family and into the OR we went. I was given some "feel good" juice that I had to fight against to stay awake because I wanted to hear everything the doctors were saying. I couldn't see anything since they had a sheet draped in front of my face so I had to just picture it.

One of the doctors kept whispering to me to remember to breathe slow and gently so I didn't make my belly move but that was easy to do on the meds ;) They numbed my belly with just a little tiny shot that stung for just a second. Guided by ultrasound Dr. Moise went in with a needle and retreived a sample of her blood. They then tested it to see what her red blood cell count was to help determine how much blood to give her. She was anemic, but not hydropic at all which is great news. They also tested her blood to see if she was indeed positive for kell. Which we learned today at my post-opp appointment that she is.

(In case this has been confusing and hard to keep track of I have two antibodies that attack baby's red blood cells, -D, and -kell. We knew from the very first blood test that she was positive for D, but wouldn't know for sure about kell until we could draw her blood directly.)

You can also catch up on those posts here: New baby Marx, Treatments: Plasmapheresis and IVIG.

Anyway once they knew how much blood to give her they gave it to her through the umbilical cord and put more in her abdomen that she will slowly absorb. Isn't that really cool? So right now her blood is 75% new blood that is O+ and negative for kell so my antibodies will not be attacking her new blood! The other 25% is still her blood that will die off because they are being attacked. So my next transfusion is Tuesday. And the one after that will be the Thursday after Christmas.

This month is going to be CRAZY. Amongst my transfusions Jeremy is finishing his finals and getting his next surgery the weekend before Christmas. January will be much more chill.

OOH! I am excited that I no longer have to do the weekly IVIG treatments :) So that's two days a week I wont be stuck on the couch!

Ok so now hopefully ya'll have a good idea of what we're doing around here with the transfusions and how they work so when I give future updates I won't be so long winded :) I've tried to be to the point but give enough info to understand the process. Please don't be shy about asking questions. I don't mind answering them!