The Humungous!

Cleaning out the Attic

2009-02-04T17:34:00.002-05:00

The good news is, I'm writing again. The bad news, that's not really bad news, is that I'm not writing the Age of Rust right now. I still love the project, I still love the characters, but I can't focus on it. I've tried so hard ove the past few months, but its all been false starts and staring at blank screens.

Sam's birth has kind of put things into perspective for me. He just amazes me, every day. This whole experience, all the way back to when I first found out that Erica was pregnant, has brought up a lot for me mentally. Certain things I thought I had dealt with a long time ago. Others, I didn't even realize existed. They're all serious things, though. I'm just not in the headspace to write fantasy. I feel like, before i can tell any other stories, I have to tell my own... ugly and insignificant as it seems sometimes.

So, I'm writing again. About some very difficult things. Once I'm done, I'm still not 100% sure I'll be able to show it to anyone. I feel like it could be too much information for some people, and for others, maybe just a side of me I'm not sure I want them to see. And then I tell myself I'm not writing it for them... I'm writing it for me. When its done, I can decide what to do with it. But right now, I just need to write it all down.

As hard as it is, it still feels great to write again. I'm not even using a computer, just those old black and white composition notebooks. I think I'm going to do it this way from now on, no matter what the project. It's extra work, and in a lot of ways its a pain in the ass, but I just feel so much more connected to what I'm doing. Plus, I can write on the train.

Holy shit, it's October.

2008-10-23T17:35:00.002-04:00

... and I haven't posted here in a long time. It's not that I've stopped writing, its more that I have tons more stuff on my plate lately. Baby on the way, my job situation was in flux for a while. Still, though, I plan to get back to this blog soon, for all 2 of you out there reading it.

Just add water.

2008-06-20T21:22:00.005-04:00

Worldbuilding. It's one of the most enjoyable and frustrating parts of writing a fantasy story. It's essential for any story not set in "the real world", and you really need to do a bit of it for those stories to, because your "real world" is going to be different from my "real world", and they're both going to be diffrent from MTV's "the real world", which, when you think about it, actually has little to do with the real world. But I digress.

Fantasy worlds. Making them believable is not too hard. It's mainly a matter of internal consistency - does gravity work? Do dragons exist? You keep asking yourself questions like this until you come up with a framework of how things are, and then you stick to it. If wizards cast spells by waving their arms around, then when you bind a wizard's arms, then he can't all of a sudden cast spells by dancing a jig. If he IS going to break the internal consistency of your world then it needs to be a major part of the story - if you just gloss over it, it looks like you have no idea what the hell you are doing.

So, making it believable - potentially time consuming but not THAT difficult. Making them intriguing however, making them someplace that a reader will be interested in for 500+ pages... well, thats a bit trickier.

A lot of people say you should avoid making just another Middle Earth clone. It's good advice, but it's not always possible. I mean, if you want to write a story where humans are fighting some other, evil race, whether you call them snorgs, gnarlacs, or floozers, there are going to be inevitable comparisons to orcs. If you have wizards going around doing wizardly things, you're going to invite comparisons to Gandalf.

Even if you do somehow manage to avoid all of the Middle Earth tropes, you might find yourself being compared to LeGuin, or Moorcock, or other people that consciously moved away from Tolkein's model. And if you move away from them, you might wind up getting compared to more modern authors, like Martin or Jordan. Hell, you might even find yourself ripping off J.K. Rowling. And then you'll get sued!

Seriously, though. The more you try to make it different, the more you're going to look like your doing it just for the sake of being different. So just don't worry about it. If your story needs elves, then your story needs elves. No, you didn't invent the concept of elves. Yes, your elves are like Tolkein's, and the elves that populate your typical saturday night D&D game. But your story needs them, so in they go.

What you can do, what you must do, is give them a character that is all their own - you do this by doing a little thinking about their culture, their history. Its perfectly fine to have long lived, pointy eared treehuggers in your world, but you need to do some work. You start by asking a lot of "why" and "how" questions. Why do they care so much for nature? How do they live so long? Why do they shun civilization?

As you answer these questions, a culture will begin to take shape. As it takes shape, you'll naturally start filling in their history. You'll give them heroes, and enemies, gods and monsters. They will naturally start to diverge from the Tolkein archetype. Your readers will get interested in the differences, the unique ways in which your cultures diverge from what they are expecting to find. You'll cross the line from "ripped off from" into "inspired by".

I guess that's the crux of what I'm saying. If you look at the greats of fantasy, you can see the care, and the work that went into crafting their worlds. They weren't working in a vacuum either, though. Before Tolkein, there was Dunsany. Before him, there was Malory, and before them all are the collected myths and legends of the diverse cultures of the world. Everything is built on archetypes. We all stand on the shoulders of giants. However, if you put the work in, and fill your world with its own history, myths, legends, and cultures, it will be strong enough to stand on its own. It will draw the reader in, and give them things to discover.

Don't be afraid of working with fantasy archetypes - just be sure to put YOUR vision of the archetype forward, and do the work required to make that vision complete. Thats my take, anyway.

I just finished redrafting the history of AoR's world - from creation all the way up to the present day. And there are elves, and there are dragons. But I don't care, because they're MY elves and dragons.

When I Knew

2008-05-29T12:12:00.003-04:00

I knew I was a writer when I realized that yes, everything has already been done, done to death. Any so-called original thought I might have in my head would be, at best, a clever twist on something that someone else had already done, and better. That my voice was one tiny peep in a multitude, that I could scream my heart out and still not be heard. That even as I pondered and agonized over my precious little scribblings, there were people out there, in the same situation, only getting it done, getting published. That I am, in fact, lazy when it comes to writing fiction and in all likelihood lack the discipline to finish a novel.

I knew I was a writer because, knowing all that, beaten down and discouraged by my own deepest fears and insecurities, I still couldn't stop writing. I still can't. Life has intruded quite a bit on my writing time, so I haven't been updating this blog or making all that much progress on the book, but I think about it every day, and I write when I can. Got about 15,000 words down... not a hell of a lot for a novel, but like I said, I'm not stopping, even if it takes me another 10 years.

MS Word? I prefer not to.

2008-04-24T22:52:00.003-04:00

Just wanted to give a big thank you to my friend Sean Sakamoto, (aka flojin) , fellow writer and nerd, for turning me on to Scrivener - a writing program that beats the crap out of writing in Word, or any other word processor I've ever worked with. For me, its strongest point is the way it helps you organize the story. You can write an outline, and it will automatically link up with the chapters that the outline refers to (with a little formatting on your part). I really love the bulletin board view, too - what that does is let you view your outline as a series of index cards that you can label, and move around - again, just click on a card, and you can work on the chapter that its linked to.

It's really helped me alot with planning - I essentially have the whole book split up into chapters in the outline, and when I am ready to go, I can just jump in and start writing where I left off. Its great, because it keeps the chapters as discrete subdocuments, collected in a draft folder. I'm sure you can do it with Word too, but as with most things Microsoft, they sure dont make it easy or intuitive.

There's also a whole research section of the program that I havent really delved into, but its apparently an easy way to keep all of your research documents and reference photos in one place, kinda like a big clipboard.

So anyway, thanks again to Sean, and if you're a writer looking for some software that really does help your workflow, check Scrivener out - its a free 30 day trial, and after that its only $40.

Oh, I forgot to mention, it's Mac OSX only, so suck it, Windows peeps!

Meticulously Planned Chaos

2008-04-08T11:41:00.002-04:00

I was playing Burnout Paradise the other day, and weirdly enough I started to think about novel writing. A huge part of the game is smashing your car up in new and interesting ways. You'll be tooling along, another car will cross an intersection at exactly the wrong time, and bang. The physics engine takes over and you are treated to a slow motion spectacle of your car disintegrating into a million little pieces. The crashes happen often enough that you start to wonder whether the game is making your life difficult on purpose.

I recently added some characters into the narrative. I won't call them secondary, because there are major subplots that revolve around them. There are basically 4 different sets of characters, whose stories are all happening concurrently. As the novel progresses, their individual plots will converge, until at the end, everything gets thrown together in a spectacular orgy of violence, action, and bedlam (that's the plan, anyway). It's a pretty standard structure for novels like this, because it works well, and flipping around between the plots moves the story along and keeps readers interested.

So, car crashes. It occurred to me that in order to have a truly spectacular car crash, a lot of things need to go right (or wrong, depending on your perspective). All the cars involved have to be moving at such and such speed, hit each other at a certain angle, etc. Just think of how much effort it must take to plan a car crash for a movie, if you want it to be just so. Everything from the road condition, to the weather is a factor, but once you know what you're going for, all you can do is set the cars up at their starting points, let them go, and hope for the best.

It's kind of what plotting a novel out this way is like. I know where I want the characters to be, I know where I want them to start. A lot of the work plot-wise is figuring out how they get from point A to point B, so they can collide at the proper moment to give appropriately spectacular results.

The trick with with video games or movies, is making sure that its "realistic". If the crashes don't obey the laws of physics, they are just cartoons. In Burnout, the crashes look like real car crashes, because they use an amazing physics engine. In a novel, its not so much about realism as it is internal consistency. Not only do they have to get from point A to point B, it has to make perfect sense why they're at point B... why it was utterly inevitable that they arrive there, given what we know about them and the situation they're in.

Competition

2008-03-21T11:22:00.002-04:00

I entered a small writing contest last month, and didn't win. In a way, I'm glad, because I was able to turn it around into something positive.

When I first got the news, I was really let down. Then, jealous and angry at the people who'd won. Then, angry at myself for being so petty and thin-skinned. As usual, I started questioning my own abilities... am I a good writer? Do I have any talent whatsoever? What the fuck am I doing this for if I can't even win a writing contest?

After a while, I realized that I really hadn't put my best work out there. I had a month, and spent the majority of it dicking around and working on other projects. I wound up typing up the entry over the deadline weekend, with no real time for revision, or to look at it with fresh eyes. Still, in my arrogance, I couldn't see it not winning. Realizing that arrogance touched off another wave of anger and self-doubt.

But then, I remembered reading somewhere that the best thing you can do when you get a rejection letter, or lose a contest, or go through anything that shakes your confidence is to write. Just write. Free write, write a short story, do anything, just write.

So I did. I started with just a stream-of-consciousness freewriting exercise, but quickly moved back to Age of Rust. A really weird thing happened... one that made me realize why writing in times like this is amazing advice. I remembered! I remembered that I could write, and write well. The feeling of "hey, I can do this!" washed over me again and reinvigorated me.

I realize now that writing contests maybe just aren't for me, at least not at this point in my career. I don't need the distractions, and I take it way to hard if things don't go my way. They turn writing into a zero-sum game, and that's not what I am looking to get out of this whole exercise. I'm writing for my own edification, not to be better than anyone else. I get all the competition I need when I look in the mirror.

Would this post be different if I had won? Probably. I'm sure I'd be gushing. But then, I think the realizations that have come out of this are more valuable for me as a person and a writer. As Bug Eyed Earl says, "When life gives you poop, you make poop juice."

Delicious.

Ennui...

2008-03-10T20:59:00.000-04:00

...is not conducive to writing.

I give you... The Age of Rust

2008-01-28T20:47:00.000-05:00

The Lord of the Rings. A Song of Ice and Fire. The Chronicles of Amber.

Every fantasy setting has a name. Those are some of the greats. The Age of Rust is mine... it's greatness is yet to be determined.

It's not something I planned to do or worry about for a long, long time. Write the fucking book has been my new mantra, and for all intents and purposes, that's what I've been doing. And yet, there it was. Unexpected, unasked for, but there.

Maybe its a working title. Maybe it's the real deal. Maybe its the "marketing" part of my brain putting its two cents into this particular creative endeavour. Whatever it is, I like the way it sounds, and the images it conjures.

I credit my friend Tom Clancy with planting the suggestion that the concept of rust would fit well in a fantasy story with heavy steampunk elements. He just sent me an email one day with the idea that bad guys in a steampunk world should worship something called "rust". He hadn't thought it out any more than that, and it's good, becuase I'm not using that idea exactly. I do thank him from the bottom of my heart though, for dropping that little pearl in my lap.

I love what rust represents, what it stands for. Decay and disuse. Poor maintenance. Slow death for the great works of man. Its very evocative to me. My novel takes place during the twilight years of a great empire. Old and decadent and rotten to the core. It's a world of machines, mages and madmen, and while nobody worships rust, everyone serves it, in their own way.

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Work continues apace. Chapter 3 is put to bed, and chapter 4 is soon to follow. Chapter 3 is very short, which is the sort of thing that used to worry me in my younger days. But, that was before I knew the rules about chapter length. There aren't any, really. A teacher once told me that a chapter is as long as it needs to be. Crazy talk, I thought. There must be some kind of rule, some kind of formula, like x words times y pages = fucking awesome writing.

Turns out its not that simple. I mean its still simple. Just a different kind of simple. I've come to realize each chapter is like a scene in a play, or a movie. Some are long, some are short. If you make a long one short, it will seem rushed. If you stretch a short one out, it will drag. There's no way to know until you're writing the damn thing.

Location, location, location

2008-01-16T14:16:00.000-05:00

So, once again, I found myself at the Grey Dog on monday night. I meet my wife there after her pottery class and then we go home together. Usually, I leave work, grab a quick bite, then head down there. This generally leaves me about 2-3 hours to write. I finished up chapter 2, and got midway through chapter 3 this monday.

I don't know why, but I find it really easy to write there. It's usually very crowded, very loud, and they don't even play music I like half the time. Still, something about it is just conducive to a "writing state of mind" for me. I get the same feeling to a lesser extent at most Starbucks, but when I am at a starbucks, I tend to slack off more and just surf the internet instead of working. Ditto for when I try to write in the office on a quiet day, or at home when I have nothing to do.

It's really working for me, so I guess as long as my wife is taking pottery classes downtown, I'll have at least one productive night per week. I'd really love to be able to get into that zone in other places though. Who knows, in time, I might be able to. Perhaps its not so much the place, but what it invokes in me. Would be nice to carry that around with me, though. For now, at least, location plays a big part in whether I write or not, and I'm happy to have a place that works.

It's on.

2008-01-08T02:09:00.000-05:00

So, an amazing thing happened earlier tonight.

I opened up word and started the new draft. I was at an old coffee shop that I used to work near, called the Grey Dog. I used to write in there sometimes, so maybe the setting had something to do with it. I have been trying to get started for weeks, but I kept finding ways to put it off... eve ndoing the prep work like outlining was a way of delaying the reality of actually having to start writing the fucking thing.

But, once I started writing, it started to flow. I'm still getting to know the characters, but the dialogue is flowing smoothly. I've written about a chapter and a half... one is pretty heavy with action, the other is mostly dialogue so far.

It felt really good to be writing again. I've been under a lot of stress lately, but somehow, like midway through chapter 1, I hit a zone where I was just writing, not worrying about anything going on in my life, not obsessing over details, just writing as it came to me.

It was a good feeling.

Burning Books

2007-12-31T01:55:00.001-05:00

I really have to give props to my friend Luke Crane. He designs roleplaying games - the kind you play with pencils, paper, and dice. Luke's most famous game is The Burning Wheel. He's also written Burning Empires, which has a lot in common with BW, but is it own game. I've written short fiction for both, but that's not why I like them.

The great thing about Luke's games is that they are constructed around a single ideal; produce an engaging and interesting story. Playing BW or BE, you wind up feeling really connected to your character, because in the process of character creation, you have given him/her a history, motivations, and even mannerisms. This is in contrast to the RPGs I grew up with; Dungeons & Dragons being the main one. In the RPGs I grew up with, all of the character stuff beyond pure statistics was all in your head. Burning Wheel not only provides all that information, it actually encourages you to play to it. Played well, BW can produce intense, emotional stories that grip you as a participant, and its a hell of a good time.

So, aside from pimping an awesome product, what does this have to do with writing the humungous?

Well, I was working on some character bios the other day. I like to have a lot of information and backstory - even if it doesn't all get used, it helps me form a picture of the character in my head, helps the dialogue flow, gives me a handle on how characters interact.

As I'm writing these bios, I realize that this is pretty much like making up a BW character. Of course, I'm not sticking to a rulebook or anthing like that, but the actual process is pretty similar. It inspired me to crack open the ol' BW books and have a look.

In terms of process, there's not all that much difference between making a character for a game and making one for a novel. It may be that I just have a heavy RPG background, so thats just my approach, but I find that it works really well. There's some differences to be sure. In a novel, the character's success and failure, skill and prowess is not determined by dice, but by my whim, so stats are pretty irrelevant. However, all the rest, the BITs, as Luke terms them (Beliefs, Instincts and Traits... he's very clever), are pretty much all you could ever want to know about a given character when paired up with a personal history.

I don't think BITs are exactly a revolutionary in the process of fiction writing - they're essentially a different way of expressing something that you learn in Creative Writing 101... the basics of building a character. However, I think they're easy to understand and reference, and a great way to organize the information about the character in question. So, in true writerly fashion, I'm stealing Luke's idea and using it for my own purposes. Sorry Luke. You really should have seen this one coming... ;)

In any case, it will make things easier when work begins on the obligatory RPG supplement.

I know, I know, getting ahead of myself. Back to writing.

Fuck You, Brain.

2007-12-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

So, my 7 year old nephew is hugely into star wars. For his birthday, we got him this crazy huge popup book about star wars. It's the biggest, most intricate popup book I've ever seen. He loved it.

So anyway, we're looking through this monstrosity and we come to the page about the Rancor. Apparently, it hails from the planet Dathomir. This is, I'm sure an insignificant fact to pretty much everyone in the universe, George Lucas included. It matters to me because its the name of a major location in my book, and now I have to think of a new one.

It's really a minor annoyance, but I have to wonder how many of the other names I've come up with exist somewhere else. I really have no recollection of reading the word "Dathomir" anywhere, ever. It's entirely possible, probable even, that I came across it sometime, because I was a pretty big star wars fan back before the prequels came out. I read alot of star wars stuff, like RPG sourcebooks and shitty novels and stuff like that, so I probably did read it somewhere, file it away in the back of my mind, and promptly forget all about it. Thank you, subconscious.

Well, at least it happened in the glorious age of the word processor, where I can just "replace all" instead of going through a manuscript with a fine toothed comb. I'm also glad it happened at a point where I don't even have an actual manuscript to go through.

Probably he most annoying part of writing fantasy and science fiction is that you have to think of names for everything. Everything. You can base them around real places and things, or mythological ones, or just string syllables together till it sounds right. Unless of course, you're a linguist or something. But I'm not, and I dont have time to learn, really. It's tough to get a name that sounds even remotely cool, and even tougher to have a group of names that is internally consistent enough to sound like part of the same language. I guess that's why a lot of authors just add apostrophes to everything until they have names like Xy'tha'lo'b'ta.

So, I guess I'll think up a name, even if its just a placeholder. Maybe I can get away with just changing a couple of letters. Dathongir. Drathomir. I dunno. Anyway, back to the grind. And fuck George Lucas.

Roadmaps

2007-12-18T15:24:00.000-05:00

Novels are fucking huge. Even short ones. I really don't know how long mine is going to turn out to be, but I realize that no matter what, it helps to be able to keep track of where I am, and keep in mind where I'm going.

The first step of that for me is to create two documents; an outline, and a plot bible. Outlines are really helpful to me... I like to have everything laid out in front of me, so I can write with the big picture in mind. It also helps because if I get bored or blocked writing one section, I can jump ahead and write another. The one danger with that is messing up the internal continuity... I may wind up writing something in the earlier section that contradicts or invalidates something that comes after. In that case, it's a matter of reconciling the two, which isn't always easy. That's where the plot bible comes in.

I got the idea from hearing about a similar thing that exists on big, episodic TV shows, like Star Trek, or BSG (I think I first heard the term in reference to Babylon 5). The idea was that with so many episodes written by so many writers, there was a big chance that they would either violate the established logic and rules of the fictional universe, or so something with a character that was completely out of context and unprecidented. So the series creators write a big book of do's and don'ts, and the writers use it as a guide.

In that milieu, it's sort of a leash, but for me, its a valuable tool. Since my book is a fantasy book, I have to do a fair amount of worldbuilding... and even though I am focusing on this world right now, there are always other imagined worlds sneaking around my subconscious, popping up and bleeding together, cross pollinating, etc. This is all well and good at this stage, but as things progress, certain things need to be nailed down, and they need to stay that way, for the world to be consistent and believable. Same with the characters. They need biographies, they need history, or else they will just come across as talking heads. That all goes in the bible.

Some of the things I've put in the bible are:

- the source of magic, why it works and what's wrong when it doesn't.

- the creation of the world, and the saga of the creators and their descendants

- the major forces at work in the world - everything from gods to governments to crime syndicates. Not all of these will be focused on... some may not even be mentioned, but they are a resource nonetheless.

- the main character's history, and why he is the subject of the narrative

...and lots of other stuff, but that's pretty much the idea.

As far as outlining goes, it's pretty standard. I start by dividing the story into three acts, then divide those into three scenes to cover the major plot points, and add in interstitial scenes as I need or want them.

Well, that's my first step, and I'm itching to get started... here we go!

Torturing my Babies

2007-12-17T17:30:00.000-05:00

I used to think that having a great idea for a story was pretty much the be-all, end-all necessity for producing good writing. It seems to be so on the surface - you have a great idea, you write it out and expand it, and bingo, you're Hemmingway.

However, over the years, I've come to realize that it's not really about having the idea. It's about torturing it. It's about attacking it and belittling it, and forcing it to defend itself. It seems a little weird to be talking about ideas as if they were people, and stranger still about waterboarding them, but for me, at least, its really true. It's said that great drama comes from conflict, and I have to say that my best stories have come out of when I am in conflict with my ideas.

It all starts with the notion that everything has already been done. All the stories I want to tell have already been told, by better and worse writers than I am. Even if I actually write the story, it will be nothing but a footnote... a wart on Tolkein's or Asimov's literary big toe. No! my idea cries... I'm different! I'm good! People will enjoy me!

No you're not, I say. You're the same old shit. You're not? OK, prove it.

And thats where we get going. A good idea can defend itself. Can continue to intrigue me even when I subject it to my most withering self-doubt and cynicism. If I get through that stage, I know I have something I want to work with. If the idea cant defend itself, then I know it would have been shit in the end anyway.

It happens again at various points throughout the process. "Magic can't work that way in this world. It's stupid."

"OK, then how about this way?"

and so on and so forth, until I come to a point where I have no more criticisms or barbs to throw at my precious little baby.

Sooner or later, the story is done, and then its time for other people to torture my baby... which is somehow infinitely harder to watch and accept. Still, its necessary, and it often helps just as much.

I'm not saying that I think of my ideas as seperate personas, or that I think of them as coming from some other place... just that taking the role of a merciless interrogator and judge has helped my writing immensely. Its hard - it means throwing out things that at first blush, seemed like genius... but in the end turned out to be crap.

I think that the world is indeed merciless. Publishers, editors, readers, have no reason whatsoever to cut me any magic pants. If I send a story out unprepared, its going to get savaged, torn apart. It all comes down to who is doing the tearing... them or me. It's easier to do it myself. Less embarrassing. Hurts less when a flaw is exposed. It's just easier. They're my babies, after all.

The Humungous! The Lord Humungous! The Warrior of the Wasteland! The Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla!

2007-12-17T17:19:00.000-05:00

The humungous is my nemesis. The humungous crowds my mind, keeping me up at night with the sound of roaring engines and gunfire. Day and night he hounds me, circling my little camp, shouting at me. Come out. He says. Come out. No sleep, no rest until you come out and face me. The Humungous is my book. And he wants me to write him.

I created this blog as a journal of the creative process of writing my book. It's a fantasy novel, and while I've completed one draft, I have since thrown it out, because I feel like its utter shit. So, I'm starting over, and will do my best to document the process here. I'm probably not be going to post too many specifics about plot and setting, etc., this is more of a way to track progress and muse about things that come up during the process of writing. Enjoy!