The Idea of Progress

The Idea of Progress is Moving!

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Sun, 25 May 2008 21:02:00 +0000

You may or may not have noticed, but the Idea of Progress has a new look and a new home. The website has remained the same (although some of you might have old links-- if it's not May 25th or so and this is the most recent post, please visit theideaofprogress.com).

I have begun hosting my own interwebs, which means I get as many email addresses as I want, the ability to host videos (and not have them taken down by the Church of Scientology), and an inflated sense of self-importance.

I'm still learning Wordpress - expect the look of this thing to change over the next few weeks as I make the necessary adjustments. tIoP is not a super tech savvy fellow, so this may be rough going for a while.

What has the Idea of Progress learned since the blog began on Christmas Eve of 2006?

-McGone is the devil. That much should be obvious.

-People love bunnies.

-It just might be possible to talk about wine and not come off like a dick. Just maybe.

-The Forevertron is one weird sculpture.

And so farwell, Blogger. You have treated me well, and I've left you for a younger, more attractive platform. Think of me well.

tIoP= Automobile, McGone=Series of Bystanders

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Fri, 23 May 2008 13:20:00 +0000

And Fernando? We'll just see about that.

tIoP <3 Indy

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Thu, 22 May 2008 14:15:00 +0000

tIoP has been Blog-Blocked

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Wed, 07 May 2008 13:17:00 +0000

It is not as if the Idea of Progress has been posting with any of the frequency of the past, but a recent event has disrupted even this, the fragile regularity of tIoP's posts.

The Idea of Progress was framed.

Google was lead to believe that tIoP was a spam blog.

Google claims that this was the result of a false positive from their little helper robots, who apparently scour the blogosphere in search of crime, sort of like the Transformers, but without the whole transforming or crappy Michael Bay remakes.

tIoP could not access my account, tIoP could not post a lovely entry about common courtesy in movie theaters that he had been composing in his head all day.

The Idea of Progress doesn't buy that it was a random problem. tIoP knows that someone is trying to put an end to the blog that has not won the Nobel Peace Prize nor the Pulitzer (but did win Sexiest Man Alive), but has nonetheless changed the face of humanity as we now know it.

There is someone out there with his fingerprints all over this. And tIoP is unafraid to air out his suspicions-- this madman must be stopped for all that is good and pure in this world, for this soon to be named villain is a threat to our way of life and our very existence. We must draw a line in the sand!

We must rally against...McGone.

Yes, I've said it. I hold the International House of Blogcakes responsible for this. It has McGone's fingerprints all over it.

And I will have my vengeance.

Master Criminal

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Fri, 02 May 2008 16:24:00 +0000

The Idea of Progress likes money as much as the next internationally recognized blogging superstar. Money allows people of tIoP's rarified status to enjoy the finer things in life, such as private jets, champagne and the occasional dip in a swimming pool full of Jello. We all have different approaches to aquiring this type of wealth.

Some are born with it, some earn it though savvy trading of stocks. Some invest in hedge funds, others write novels or pop songs. But one man had a more innovative approach, and the Idea of Progress must salute him for his creativity and audacity.

Charlie Ray Fuller, a 21 year old Texas resident, apparently wanted to start a record company. So he did what any enterprising young mogul would do. He forged a check from his girlfriend's mother's bank account and attempted to pass it off at a Ft. Worth bank. But here's where he made a small mistake that got him caught-- He made out the check for $360 billion dollars.

$360,000,000,000.

That's more than the entire bank was worth.

But the Idea of Progress salutes his gumption, and his dreams of a better tomorrow.

Things That Are Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 19:33:00 +0000

Okay, I promised no more political posts, but I couldn't resist.

I don't even know what to say, other than when I read the description of this, I figured it featured actors impersonating Clinton, Obama and McCain.

Nope.

May I present Wrestling style trash-talking from our candidate. Pardon me while I walk away, hanging my head in shame.

An Attempt to Get Back on Track

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 14:55:00 +0000

The Idea of Progress will be posting regularly once again. As a first effort towards this goal, may I present to you the biggest bunny ever.

You should read about this, it's pretty rad.

Okay, Seriously, Where has the Idea of Progress Been?

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:47:00 +0000

Working on another blog. For those of you that skip by all of the political posts here at the Idea of Progress, take comfort in that they will no longer appear here. From now on this will be all pictures of bunnies and Bono hatred and creepy Craigslist Missed Connections.

I've begun a new site called The Elitist, which will hopefully be an online magazine focusing on politics and culture. Right now it looks more like a blog, but we're working on it now to change its format.

The Elitist is also looking for contributors. If you have any interest in contributing either editorials or features, please email me about it.

And I'll be back here for your entertainment purposes soon. Please enjoy this Google ad I found in my absence:

Official Character Actor Update

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 04:18:00 +0000

Official Character Actor of the Idea of Progress Zooey Deschanel has released an album with singer M. Ward under the name She & Him. Read all about it in the New York Times.

Things That Are Wrong

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:14:00 +0000

When I was in high school, I occasionally worked on the school paper. I was never a staff member, more of a volunteer that occasionally wrote poor movie reviews. The adviser to the paper was Linda Kane, who was also the journalism teacher.

I won't invent stories about how my work on the paper changed my life, but it did teach me some very valuable things about writing, about composition, brevity and most importantly, editing.

Under Kane's supervision, the paper, the Central Times, gained national exposure from the New York Times for its investigative journalism, which resulted in censorship by then-principal Tom Paulson, a bill passed by lawmakers in Illinois, and a veto by Governor Jim Thompson. It was the recipient of nine National Scholastic Press Association Pacemaker awards in 19 years, given annually to 20-25 of the best student papers in the country.

The Central Times recently published a series of stories about marijuana use, three pieces, which the subject was treated frankly and featured the use of swear words in direct quotation. From the Chicago Tribune:

Kane said she got e-mails from administrators expressing their disappointment with the stories shortly after the package was published. Naperville Central Principal Jim Caudill and Student Activities Director Lynne Nolan visited the newspaper staff March 3, when Caudill said the newspaper's policy on the use of profanity should be changed, Kane said.

She and Central Times' editors refused, saying they had adapted the policy, which allows profanity in a direct quote if the words "are imperative to the content or meaning of that quote," from the Student Press Law Center, an advocacy group for student press rights.

But an interview with the Daily Herald got Kane into deeper trouble. She contended in a March 7 article that Caudill and other administrators "don't know squat" about 1st Amendment law. Then, she said Caudill "is all about PR and doesn't want any bumps in the road."

Kane was asked to resign. She refused.

She was fired.

I find this troubling for many reasons. How can we expect students to read the big boy newspaper when we deny them the ability to participate in its dialogue? It is a hopelessly misguided notion to deny the student paper to write about topics that actually matter to its readers. Students smoke pot at Naperville Central. I know this for a fact. The student body is well aware of this fact.

If the appearance of an article of this nature is deemed inappropriate for students, does that mean that the New York Times or the Chicago Tribune is also inappropriate?

I added the Tribune article to Digg. Please visit and Digg it (for the non-initiates, this means to vote for the article to raise it's ranking and exposure). I also added it to Reddit, if you've got a minute.

We shouldn't reward our most talented educators with termination.

Everyone Hates Bush

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 15:36:00 +0000

I never thought that Arnold would be anything remotely like a good politician, but he constantly proves me wrong. Plus, it looks like he hates Bush as much as the rest of us, so he can't be all bad.

From meignorant.com.

Things That Sound Made Up

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 22:38:00 +0000

When I first read about this in Time, I had to scroll up and look at the date to make sure it wasn't an April Fool's joke. It just doesn't sound real. But it is.

There are apparently anti-emo riots going on in Mexico.

Yeah. Emo.

Rockabilly kids and metalheads and cholos have been ganging up to beat the crap out of sissy eyeliner wearing emo kids. Like, hundreds of people chasing down four or five sensitive teenagers. And beating them up. And recording it on their cell phone cameras.

Don't believe me? Here's another article about it from Wired. I don't know whether to be concerned that kids are getting beaten up just for their taste in music...but...

I mean...

They're emo kids.

Best of Craigslist

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:10:00 +0000

so you have your own massage parlor now - w4m
Reply to: pers-626610817@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-04-01, 2:02PM CDT

i'm even more intrigued.
you have ambition to match your stunning looks.
i would love a formal invitation, beyond the "birthday gift" flyer
i'll bring the wine if you provide the stimulation.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 626610817

Original post.

Charlton Heston is Dead

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:47:00 +0000

I guess we can get that gun back from him now.

Things the Idea of Progress Irrationally Hates

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 16:21:00 +0000

No.1: Opening packages from the bottom

There are tops and bottoms of things. Things on top are placed there to remain on top, while things on the bottom conversely are expected to sustain that position. While there may be certain exciting and R-rated exceptions to this rule, one instance to which it applies is the opening of bags of chips.

To wit: The Special Lady Friend of the Idea of Progress (we'll henceforth refer to her as the SLFotIoP to keep things properly confusing) opened a bag of tortilla chips. Now, the bags of these chips, like many others, are printed in such a manner as to suggest a proper place for opening them. That place? The top.

However, much to my dismay, this particular bag of chips (El Rancheros, by far the best chips you'll find outside of a good Mexican restaurant) was not opened at the top. It was opened at the bottom. Why was this a problem? asked the SLFotIoP? The only answer that tIoP could muster was that if I tried to read the label on the bag, all of the chips would fall out on the floor.

The SLFotIoP asked if I needed to read the label, since I have been purchasing the same brand of tortilla chips for at least six years. She also asked if it really, seriously bugged me.

And tIoP wept, and admitted it did.

Everyone Hates Bush

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:18:00 +0000

From Spiegel Online.

Anyone? Anyone?

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:52:00 +0000

So far, no one seemed to have watched my Hillary in the House video. Perhaps it's too clean cut. How about something a little less, to titillate the kiddies?

These are outtakes, kinda sorta, from the eCousinality commercial I shot. I wouldn't say it's NSFW, but you might want to turn the volume down a little lower.

Hillary In the House

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 04:47:00 +0000

After I read this article, I couldn't resist making this.

Where is tIoP?

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 18:34:00 +0000

The answer? Around. He'll be back. He's just hiding from y'all.

Sometimes a Momentous Event Yields a Silly Headline

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 13:38:00 +0000

They fed them dumplings?

Stolen Quote of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 15:01:00 +0000

"Just so we don't have to go through this whole resignation thing again," one ballsy reporter asked, "have you ever patronized a prostitute?" Paterson thought for a minute. "Only the lobbyists," he said.

-Soon to be New York Governor David Paterson

Stolen from Salon.

Thinking Outside of the Box

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 18:52:00 +0000

A Good Idea

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 15:48:00 +0000

I think Spitzer and Larry Craig should form a bi-partisan crime fighting superteam. Since Elliot has quit his job and all.

And I'm guessing Larry won't be reelected.

At least none of these sex scandals involved People's Sexiest Man Alive.

Quote of the Day

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 18:45:00 +0000

"[Ben Stein, in the new pro-Creationist documentary Expelled] uses "straw man" tactics to attack, mainly The Origin of the Species, as Darwin wrote it in 1859. That's like a music critic reviewing "the latest" by only referring to Edison's wax cylinders."

-- Orlando Sentinel film critic Roger Moore, who while not being James Bond, did manage to sneak into a private screening he had been uninvited to, in his review of the film.

Don't Let the Door Hit You on the Way Out!

noreply@blogger.com (The Idea Of Progress) — Mon, 10 Mar 2008 19:39:00 +0000

MSNBC has cancelled Tucker Carlson's show, Tucker.

It's about time. Tucker is everything I hate in TV punditry-- ill informed, smarmy and mule-headed. He's not as bad as Sean Hannity (or even worse, Joe Scarborough) but as Monica says, he's a poo tissue. I can deal with a Reaganite (barely), but not when they're masquerading as a populist.

It was a matter of great satisfaction to see him get torn a new one by Jon Stewart on an infamous episode of Crossfire, Carlson's previous show.

Tucker, I hope you go back to whatever rock you crawled out from under.

Ciao!