The Idiot Behind the Iron Mask

SRS-Ing Crazy

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 16:43:00 +0000

I've sold my soul to Anki. That (brilliant) SRS software has snatched most of my life away from me for the past few weeks, to the extent that if my computer were on, so would it be too.

I've been working day and night, reviewing and adding hundreds of cards daily (an average of about 600+) to my SRS collection.

The above record shows what I've done for the past one week. Highest repetitions I've reached lies around 1020 cards daily. I add about 200+ cards per day, manually, while balancing this with other stuff (reading dictionaries, Wikipedia, manga, the news, etc).

If anyone wonders why the repetition rate is so high, it's because I had set my deck's initial easy/medium/hard intervals to 0.0-1.0 days, 1.1-2.0 days and 2.1-5.0 days. I'm not too confident with my memorization abilities, so I like a bit more practice, especially when I think a card is difficult, or the cards are young. (And as it is, I'm fairly stingy with the "Easy" button, so they keep mounting, which isn't very nice sometimes, because when I'm done with work and [cue Al Pacino voice] just when I thought I was out... they pull me back in.)

Why I've been this crazy: I won't have time to add new cards once university begins, so I'm killing myself by overloading on new information right now. Reviewing cards won't be too difficult, thankfully.

My other objective is to overload on all possible readings for the 常用漢字. Grammatically speaking, I'm already quite advanced, though I'm still working to cover the other archaic/stiff grammar (e.g. べからざる, べくもない, etc.) for when I take JLPT 1, and also so that I'd be able to easily tackle historical, political (or weird) manga later on.

Punishment For One's Gluttony

At this point, I've an 89% passing rate for cards, which is pretty good. But here's the problem: Adding new cards continuously, and having a really small interval between young cards, creates a punishing workload.

And the solution:

The above graph shows that if I don't add any new cards, the amount of cards due over the next few days will decrease significantly, by more than half. (It was even scarier two days ago, when the cards due daily stood around 600+.)

So I'm hoping to maintain my passing rate, by taking it easy for the next one week or so. (I've also reset the Anki scheduling for young cards to spread over time more forgivingly.) I'll just keep up with the reviews, and stop adding new cards, at least until the graph tapers off.

Feel free to share your thoughts on your SRS workload, or general SRS issues.

Love And Locksmithing

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 03:21:00 +0000

I love proverbs. They lack the verbiage, but always come brimming with meaning or nuance. An illustration:

せかれてつのる恋の情.　【諺】

The above proverb, when I discovered it, was new to me, and completely opaque. But a quick Google search landed me the following explanation (my haphazard translation follows beneath it):

(ネット）恋心は、二人の仲をじゃまする者がいると、恋しさがますます激しくなる。

A couple's yearning for the other, which (with the passing of time) becomes ever fiercer, when someone comes between them.

Kenkyusha's New Japanese-English Dictionary aptly translates the above proverb as follows:

Love laughs at locksmiths.

So we're much clearer now on what the original proverb means, but the question remains: what does love have to do with locksmithing? Why not nuclear wars or dentistry?

(I use 'nuclear wars' or 'dentistry', as I feel that they have greater relation to love than locksmithing; quite naturally so, since both require tact and sophistication, and both involve a lot of pain.)

So I dug deeper. Guess what I found?

Shakespeare in Venus and Adonis (1593): "Were beauty under twenty locks kept fast, Yet love breaks through and picks them all at last."

When I read that, a gigantic "Oh," played off inside my head. It's Shakespeare! No wonder things were so cryptic.

So there you go.

天はみずから助くる者を助く

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 18:13:00 +0000

「天はみずから助くる者を助く」という気に入りの諺がある。

僕は、「才能」とか｢才能のある人」とかには信じらない人の一人だ。それでも、及び腰の自信がない人や一般人については、｢才能｣なんての言葉を使いたいなら、あえて反対もしない。

僕にとっては、努力があれば、何もできると信じるから、｢努力」しか信じられない。それも、生まれつきの手腕のある人がいると言われているのに、ちょっと信じがたいだなと感じる。

それ故、この言葉遣いの美しい含蓄に富む諺がまだ生きていて、もし胸に刻まれていたように覚えれれば、いつまでも心にゆとりを持つと思っている。

まあ、そうだろうな。

Subtlety In Translations (Cats Included)

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Mon, 18 May 2009 15:37:00 +0000

Translations always lack the cultural baggage and weighty connotations of the source language. I find this interesting.

For example, let us take Natsume Souseki's 吾輩は猫である ("Wagahai wa Neko de Aru").

A quick translation gives us this: "I am a Cat."

However, the phrasing used in the original Japanese is not just formal; it includes also an obvious tone of arrogance. (Used for comic effect; this gives the cat an aura of pompousness and condescension.)

Thus, a more proper translation would actually be this: "We are a Cat."

... yes, "We"; as in, the majestic plural.

But arrogance in the usage of the majestic plural is not the same as that in the usage of "wagahai" and "de aru" in Japanese. The connotations of arrogance are different, and they do not carry well (at least, in this context). Thus, meaning is lost.

(A bad analogy: Compare this to lossy media such as MP3s; you will get the gist of the converted data, but lose the subtleties and dynamics of the original source for what is gained in compression.)

吾輩は猫である

Here's a quick translation of the first three passages from "We Are A Cat." (If you feel like it, hit up Wikipedia for the story and its underlying message.)

And keep in mind that the story is seen from the perspective of a contemptuous feline.

Here's passage 1 and 2.

　吾輩（わがはい）は猫である。名前はまだ無い。

　どこで生れたかとんと見当（けんとう）がつかぬ。何でも薄暗いじめじめした所でニャーニャー泣いていた事だけは記憶している。吾輩はここで始めて人間というものを見た。しかもあとで聞くとそれは書生という人間中で一番獰悪（どうあく）な種族であったそうだ。この書生というのは時々我々を捕（つかま）えて煮（に）て食うという話である。しかしその当時は何という考もなかったから別段恐しいとも思わなかった。

We are a cat. We have not a name.

We have not an inkling of a realization as to where We had been born. We remember only that dark, damp and humid place, where We had first cried out nonsensical muffled sounds.

This was when We first saw the creature referred to as a 'human'.

We later heard that, among humans, the live-in-student was the most vicious of their kind. Stories tell of how the live-in-student would catch, boil and eat us.

But at that time, We had no thoughts of Our own, and so We felt no particular fear for the live-in-student.

And here's passage 3.

ただ彼の掌（てのひら）に載せられてスーと持ち上げられた時何だかフワフワした感じがあったばかりである。掌の上で少し落ちついて書生の顔を見たのがいわゆる人間というものの見始（みはじめ）であろう。この時妙なものだと思った感じが今でも残っている。

The live-in-student then placed Us in the palm of his hands. He lifted Us high into the air; at that time, We felt an immense lightness, as if We were soaring through the skies. This reminded Us of something; and so We took the opportunity to gaze at the face of this live-in-student. This was Our first proper sighting of the so-called human.

"What a bizarre creature," We thought at that time.

... And We continue to feel the same way about humans, even to this very day.

Hope you enjoyed it.

Kanji Etymological Packages

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 01:10:00 +0000

I love Chinese characters (i.e. 'kanji'), as they can neatly package a word's pronunciation, meaning, form and etymology in a single offering.

Here's an example: 海老.

The above word, is made of two characters: 海 (sea) and 老 (old people). It refers to our common (and highly edible) friend, the shrimp, and is pronounced as ebi.

You may wonder, "How the hell do you use 'sea' and 'old people' to describe a shrimp?"

I wondered the exact same thing. Fortunately, Wikipedia comes to the rescue:

和語の「えび」は、元々は葡萄のこと、あるいはその色のことを指す言葉であった。葡萄の色に似ていることから蝦・海老のことを「えび」と呼ぶようになった。現在でも「葡萄色」と書いて「えびいろ」とも読む。「海老」の字は、長い触角（ひげ）と曲がった腰を老人に見立てたものである。

Let me translate the above:

The Japanese word, ebi, originally referred to grapes, or the colour of grapes. Shrimps came to be called ebi as well due to their resemblance in colour to grapes. (Even now, (grape-like) dark purplish-red colours are still read as "the colour of ebi".)

As for the use of the kanji characters 'sea' and 'old people', shrimps are likened to 'old people (of the sea)' because of their long beards (feelers) and curved backs.

See what you can do with kanji? It's pretty amazing.

There are a lot of other things you can do with kanji that are impossible to do in English, but I won't go into them today.

Of Dragons, Maidens And Eternal Love

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 03:36:00 +0000

T'was doing the Google for random images, when I encountered this:

(Source: Trickster)

Let me do a quick translation for you:

Poltina

I heard that he is in pain. I heard that he accidentally turned into a monster after the celebration. He (now) hides himself in the darkness of the depths of the sea, and refuses to see me. But I am resolute, and I must meet him again. I want to let him know that, no matter what form he takes, my feelings for him will not change.

* Be that as it may, how exactly do you intend to reach the depths of the deep sea?

Enkiculadus

That is true. I, who became a monster because of the celebration, had no desire to let my current form be seen by anyone. So I took to the curtains of darkness of the great ocean, and gradually I came to escape the gaze of people. However, I heard that a girl had leapt off a cliff and tried to enter a whirlpool, in order to meet me. I had gone to her to ascertain just how foolish she really was...

* What do you mean by "foolish"?

I don't know why this story is so funny.

Maybe it's the the fairy-tale setting: the ultra-impressionable, overly-idealistic beautiful maiden who's in love; the arrogant, gruesome-looking, human-turned-monster (which reminds me of Beauty and the Beast) who couldn't care less; and then, the protagonist himself, who gives some fairly weird responses. (How'd he get an interview with the monster anyway?)

Maybe it's the the fact that I don't know how this game ends, but I sort of know how it might end, just the way oh-so-many other fairy tales do.

Then again, might it be because there are a few billion other games just like this in the Japanese market?

But maybe I'm just being cynical here.

Current Recording Setup

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 15:39:00 +0000

My gear includes a Line 6 Pod Studio UX1, a Boss GT-8, an ATH-M30 (headphone monitor, because I can't afford real monitors currently), and a friend's guitar (an Ibanez Gio).

The guitar has weak pickups, and is somewhat noisy. I'm considering a noise gate, but afraid that it would kill off precious tone as well.

It'd be awesome if I could get a Variax guitar; besides the various pickup/body modellings (via the Workbench software), it reputedly offers crystal-clear recordings devoid of noise, but I haven't the funds. (And yes, I have absolutely no qualms about digital modeling, especially when it involves technology that has been heavily-tested; and technology which is itself very configurable and indistinguishable (for most people) from the real gear it seeks to copy.)

As for DAWs, I've Reaper (which I plan to purchase a full non-commercial license for) and Ableton Live Lite 7 (which came with my Pod Studio).

I like Reaper's extensive routing capabilities, VST support (which is much better than Ableton's), interface customizability, and MIDI editing features. Reaper doesn't have any good drum samples, but this should be easily fixed via a Rewire with Ableton; or, failing that, with any other DAWs/sampling tools.

I've a friend who operates a professional recording studio, and I'm getting some help from him during these trying initial stages; I hope I'll be able to steal some tricks of the trade, and produce a couple of my own works in the long run.

But in the meantime, I'm still playing around and seeing what I can do with my minimal gig and the software thingamajiggies.

Trypazafrananoverexamosomiasis

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 20:22:00 +0000

Pronounced: 'tripah-zafran-an-over-exam-oh-sou-my-ay-sis'.

Definition: A disease caused by parasitic protozoan examosomes, of the genus Examosoma. A brief description will follow.

Trypazafrananoverexamosomiasis is a non-fatal, endemic, and somewhat (regularly) seasonal disease, which infects one person at the end of every semester.

Research has discovered a trigger of this disease to be constant and voluminous intakes of coffee/tea and other caffeine-based substances, which spike levels of caffeine in the blood to astronomical proportions, thus inducing artificial consciousness.

Description: The word 'trypazafrananoverexamosomiasis' may refer to either of the following:-

1) A momentary state of sentience, or feelings triggered thereof: Created when the brain -- in that state where it is completely devoid of one whole semester's worth of knowledge, due to lack of concentration and overt playfulness -- is forced to absorb a barrage of legal stimuli, via chunks of confusing legalese, legal shorthand, and/or badly designed lecture slides; or

2) The aftermath of the aforementioned state of sentience: When the acquired knowledge dissipates almost immediately, leaving its victim in a state of sudden amnesia; the victim will be unable to recall anything (that is worth recalling) from what he had previously been studying.

Symptoms: Mainly, there are three:-

1) Victims are known to experience chaotic sleep cycles. Conscious and unconscious phases become highly unpredictable, as their body clocks would have lost its equlibrium. Thus, victims are often sleep-deprived, though they may still have to suffer through late night (and last-minute) vigils.

2) Victims may be subject to momentary lapses of extreme exhaustion, followed by intense sleeping urges. If the victim compels himself to sleep, he will experience a momentary surge of intense energy upon waking up, the strength of which will quickly deplete, leaving the victim just as languid and useless as before.

3) Victims may feel compelled, overwhelmingly so, to bang their heads on tables, walls, and other nearby solid objects, and may proceed to do unless a supervising authority stops them. Such feelings are usually accompanied by other similarly intense feelings, such as that of depression and regret. (Doctors note that victims often hallucinate, and say things such as, "Shit, why didn't I study last month?" or "Oh crap, I think I learned this one in class before!")

Only known cure: When the immune system has rid its host of the protozoan examosomes. This usually takes place once the designated timeframe of the disease passes.

Burning Law Books

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 16:26:00 +0000

I stumbled upon Professor Alastair Hudson's book on trusts today, one aptly titled Equity and Trusts, 4th Edition.

Initially, I had doubts about the book's usefulness, being the cynic that I am when it comes to reading law books seemingly packed with legalese.

But I needed a reference for my assignment on secret trusts anyway, and the cover of the book looked nice, so I figured to myself -- Why the hell not?

... Fortunately, I struck gold today.

The book is so well-written, so organized, so chock full of examples and so lacking of pointless legalese that the moment I put it down, I was immediately seized by a desire (might I even suggest the word 'lust'?) to gather law books, as many as I possibly could -- all the other horrible, nightmare-inducing ones that I've either read, used, copied from, glanced through or only just gazed at before -- and burn them all.

My good sir, if I were one to wear a hat, then I'd be tipping mine to you now, out of immense respect for your person.

Thank you for writing a readable book (and your book deserves that adjective), and thank you for writing a very good one at that.

Haunting Andalusian Music

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 07:40:00 +0000

I'm currently listening to an album called The Splendour of Al-Andalus.

One reviewer neatly summarizes the experience as:

"... the finest recording of Andalusian music of the Renaissance I've ever heard."

The Splendour of Al-Andalus features Arabic music from the 7th to 15th century, played with period and other appropriate regional acoustic instruments, and was recorded in a cathedral in Spain.

The recording features Spanish instruments, North African instruments, the ud (which sounds a bit like the modern gambus) and other like instruments of the times. Moorish and Arabic (as well as secular Christian) influences permeate through each and every song. The Arabic language is used exclusively to retain the authenticity of pieces that are sung. (Oh, and by the way, the vocals and flutes are just haunting.)

The dynamics of the performance have been preserved very well, due to the extremely high recording quality, thus making this album "... an audiophile gem, as well as a musical treasure and historical excursion."

I've been listening to jazz fusion and progressive metal all day, so I welcome the change in flavour. Indeed, I can't describe this album as being anything but soothing, and then, amazing.

(I do feel somewhat sad though, because I know that fine music such as this would soon die and be forgotten, to give way to MTV/Channel V/pop music garbage.)

Vanity, How Shall We Name Thee

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 04:38:00 +0000

People are vain.

And even more so when it comes to their names.

People will always put you to task for forgetting their names. I always work hard to remember names, for this very reason. But I do forget sometimes, with painful repercussions.

Here's an example: I had been introduced to a female acquaintance. I spoke with her during that first meeting, but only once. (And just to note, the meeting was as unmemorable as herself.) Some months later, I encountered her again. I couldn't remember her name, and guessed wrongly. She was so fazed by this little indiscretion that she left immediately. (I've never seen her again since then. But still, good riddance.)

Most people, like her, give way too much significance to their names -- they love the sound of it, they want others to remember it, and get offended easily when people forget -- because they like to think of themselves as having worth, no matter how unimportant they really are.

That's just how people are, and how they've always been. That's why people are willing to spend to have their names inscribed to the point of ubiquity, so that when they die, no one forgets about them; so that no one forgets that they had once existed. That's why pharaohs leave inscriptions lavished with praises for themselves; that's why poets write and chronicle eulogies for the dead; that's why samurai custom dictates the introduction of oneself, even to enemies; that's why people 'donate' to have their names engraved on glass, and so on and so forth.

We therefore understand that a man dishonours another, when he forgets the other party's name.

... And that's exactly why I find the topic of damnatio memoriae to be so damn amusing.

On Handshakes

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 06:53:00 +0000

I'm very particular about handshakes.

Whenever I shake hands with someone, I would offer a strong, firm grip, and then expect to receive one of similar strength in return. (In fact, if I had not gripped you firmly enough, I would always guide the hand you shake with back into mine, so that we may correct the handshake and make it more proper.) I don't want you to break my hand, but do apply some compression to it, at least.

I hate weak handshakes.

Weak handshakes feel insincere, and they lack warmth. Weak handshakes are also the very reason as to why I hate shaking hands with women.

Confidence-Faking Wannabes

The other day, a female acquaintance offered me a handshake.

I avoid handshakes with women as much as I can, but it'd be rude not to reply to one already offered. So I met the handshake, and put into it my regular strength.

Her own grip however, was lifeless. And she didn't even look me in the eye while slipping her hand away.

"Career woman", my ass.

If you can't afford us the courtesy of a proper handshake, please don't rank yourself to be among men, and please refrain from selling yourself off as an 'independent', 'authoritative', 'empowered' and 'confident' woman. (Or whatever other fake adjectives Oprah urges you to add to your lacking self-description.)

Better yet, don't offer me any handshakes at all.

Maxis, The Mobile Spammer

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 07:50:00 +0000

I am sick and tired of Maxis.

They keep sending me spam after spam after spam, then more spam, and then, even more spam (just in case I missed the first few hundred), while using euphemisms like 'promotions', 'concert invitations', and 'top-up bonuses' to entice me into wasting money on 'rewards' I don't need.

Yes, I understand the fact that other people may appreciate the blood-sucking 'rewards' they offer, but I don't. I have no intention of using these 'rewards', so I want to opt out of the deal. And I believe there are many others who feel the same way I do.

All I want is for Maxis to stop sending me 5 billion SMS(s) every single day. I already receive enough solicitations in my mail, most of which urge me to purchase their risk-free, medically-approved, government-recommended phallus-enlarging medication, and I have no need for more. Furthermore, as I regard the phone as a very private device, I do not want it to be infested with similarly useless messages (unrelated as they may be to phallic interests).

When I hear my phone beeping, I want the sender of the message to be of blood and flesh; I have no interest in soulless machines designed to leech precious ringgits from us, the corporation-trusting sheeps. (Speaking of the unsuspecting masses, I've read studies that mention how it costs almost nothing for telecommunication companies to send out millions of messages; and yet, the filthy bigwigs charge us for every single message sent. They also levy extra charges on us, the proceeds of which benefit them, and corporate sponsorships or concert promotions bearing gargantuan signboards that herald their name. Bloody daylight robbers.)

I did not sign up to let Maxis spam me. I'm not that sadomasochistic.

Anyway, I'll pay a visit to a nearby Maxis centre soon. If the spamming doesn't stop, I'm switching to another provider immediately.

Heavy Snow In KL

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sat, 21 Feb 2009 12:14:00 +0000

Kuala Lumpur has been very cold lately. In fact, for the past few days, it's been snowing heavily.

I've been trying to keep myself warm and comfortable (i.e. I'm wearing several layers of fur, courtesy of some very cute polar bears), but icy fingernails continue to claw away at my cheeks every so often.

I wish summer would arrive soon.

If the sun (or my own hot sweat) should scorch me to death, it would still be better than dying frozen and forgotten -- like mammoths -- in Kuala Lumpur's artic wasteland. Yes, I would rather have that.

いつ、戦うべきですか？

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sat, 14 Feb 2009 06:15:00 +0000

先日、空手の授業で友達の仲間は先生に変な質問をした。

（その時、僕たちはちょうど、その日の練習を終えてほかの友達と床に座って、無駄口をたたいたり空手に関する話をしたりしていたところだった。質問したのは、先生が僕たちのそばに寄ってきた、そのときだった。）

質問は「もし先生が十人の見知らぬ男たちに囲まれれば、そのような情勢ではどうしますか」

しかし、先生の答えを聞く前に、みんなは先生の体格のことを考えるべきだ：

怖い感じの大男だよ、先生は。（そうさ、ほかのどの言葉より「怖い大男」と言うのがぴったりだ。）なぜかと言うと体は戦車のようだし、彼のスタミナは限りがなく、永遠に空手の練習を続けられるし（僕たちはもう死ぬほど疲れたのに）、手と拳はとても強くて、もし敵を突いたら哀れな敵は道場のはずれの壁まで飛んで行って、打ち付けられる程だから。（冗談じゃないよ！本当だ！）

しかも、彼は恐怖の範囲を持って歩いている人だ。（でも、彼の大量破壊兵器そのものの強い足の話は、ほかの日に教えてあげるかもしれないね。）

。。。それで、僕は本当に驚いた、先生の答えは「逃げる」だったから。

面白いだろう？

しばらくすると。。。

先生はこのように説明してくれた：

「相手を知らずして、むやみに戦うべからず。まず逃げるべし。」

「相手の力が予測できない場合は、むやみに戦うよりも、まずは逃げたほうが無難である。」

「しかしながら、敵に囲まれて逃げることが困難な時、その時こそ、力の限り戦え。」

また後ほど。

Scholars And Their Scholarly Works

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 15:28:00 +0000

Been catching up on my studies. I feel nauseous already, though I've only been reading for a bit.

I'll explain why.

The Reasons

1) Many academic writers write horrendously.

2) These 'scholars', as we shall call them, write incoherently, switch between active and passive forms as they please, employ unwieldy long sentences, repeat themselves unnecessarily, and transform (what should be pleasant) verbs into difficult nouns. All of this makes for painful reading.

For example, here's what I managed to cull from a boring piece of text:

"Hence recurring practices among some people in which there is no benefit or which partake in prejudice and corruption are excluded from the definition of (subject matter) "

Here's how I might improve it:

Hence, the definition of (subject matter) excludes recurring practices that:

1) benefit few; or

2) involve prejudice and corruption

3) As 'scholars' who intend to reach an English-speaking audience, they ought to be able to write in a educated manner. Their English may not necessarily be simple, but it should be accessible. (And perhaps, they ought to come across with a bit of polish and style.) If they can't manage this, why not opt for an editor? After all, having consigned yourself to several bone-breaking years to complete your magnum opus, what difference does it make to let a proofreader peck away at it for just a couple of months?

4) The impression I get when reading these 'scholarly works' is that of a man (or a woman, because I'm sure you annoying feminists don't want to feel left out) who amends his beloved academic essay every chance he gets; and not to improve it, but rather, to ensure that his language corresponds to the impressive-sounding PhD emblazoned at the top of the essay. (Yes, this is the article that eventually finds publication in an obscure journal no one ever reads.)

5) I've encountered 2 books whose 'scholars' plagiarized the works of earlier authors. (This happened when I was digging through the library; I discovered some books that were worded far too closely to the ones I'm currently using. The musty old tomes were published much earlier too, so I can't assume anything else.) Couldn't these thieves have the courtesy to paraphrase the work they steal, at least?

6) Some books list only the author's name, or another doctorate holder, or two. (Yes, even the very thick ones that fall on the table with a satisfying thump.) Now, I refuse to accept that the 'scholar' worked it all out by himself. It's more probable that he exploited a research assistant, and never gave due recognition to him or her for the work done. (Unless, of course, he owns a sweatshop that churns out academic writings. Which, of course, explains why these 'scholars' have such poor command of grammar.)

I shall return to my books now.

Thoughts On Translation Work

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sun, 08 Feb 2009 18:22:00 +0000

I intend to become a translator someday.

I dream of being in the same league as Alexander O. Smith -- yes, the man whose team rendered Vagrant Story into English, a game noted for its very high-quality localization -- so I'm working towards that. I'd like to attempt translation work of a professional sort eventually, but I wouldn't mind being an amateur and ramping up my resume with various other works in the meantime.

I'm also considering Classical Japanese, although I'm putting this off for a while. (As I'd rather have some modern languages under my belt first.)

Japanese-Related News

Japanese grammar is the least of my concerns. I have a solid understanding of it, and I always refer to books on grammar anyway. (Furthermore, the confounding grammatical bits that crop up can always be solved with a quick Google search.) But vocabulary -- or rather, a lack of it -- has always been a bit of problem.

To remedy this, I've been gulping down 80 to 100+ words daily. (It may seem like a lot, but it's really not that big an amount. You should try it too.) I use a number of techniques to retain vocabulary, and review often, using both active and passive means of recall. My retention rate hovers around 70%-80%, which is decent. (In short, my efforts will amount to some 6,000 new words in 2 months time. It's a good number, but I do hope to increase it.)

By the end of this year, I hope to have acquired 20,000 words or so, which would be helpful when I attempt heavier novels.

Other Thoughts

I intend to translate Natsume Souseki's 10 Nights of Dreams into Malay sometime in the near future. I've several reasons for this:

1. It'd be a good way for me to flex my Malay language muscles, which hasn't seen much flexing ever since I completed high school.

2. There aren't many translations of Japanese literature into Malay. (No, the general majority of manga does not fall under 'literature'.)

3. I wouldn't have to worry about copyright issues, as the author's work is public domain.

4. The eyes that shun English translations of Japanese works would, I think, choose to wander upon Malay translations of the very same works more easily.

Studying Japanese is turning out to be a bit of a balancing act, what with my academic workload, but I think I can manage.

My Inaguration Speech

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Tue, 27 Jan 2009 01:31:00 +0000

Obama's inauguration speech was inspiring, wasn't it? ("Yes, it was!") Well, here's how an inaguration speech of my own might sound like.

My fellow Americans, today is a beautiful day. You have shown the world that "hope" is not just another word for "car", and that "change" is not only something we can believe in again, but something we can actually drive.

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces cute and tall challenges like never before. Our economy is handsome. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for trees. Our healthcare system is big. If your ear is sick and you don't have insurance, you might as well call a lawyer. And America's image overseas is tarnished like a guitar book. But running together we can right this ship, and set a course for Kuala Lumpur.

Finally, I must thank my wide family, my sexy campaign volunteers, but most of all, I want to thank Malaysians for making this historic occasion possible. Of course, I must also thank you, President Bush, for years of jumping the American people. Without your small efforts, none of this would have been possible.

Playful speech courtesy of the Inauguration Speech Generator. Go try it out. (Oh, and do read the user-generated posts on the forum. Some of them are really funny.)

警察の悪習

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:16:00 +0000

最近私の国で、犯罪のような行動をする警察は犯罪者に似てきています。

例えば、この間、ある男が殴られて、なおかつ火傷を負うほど熱いお湯に体を投じられることがありました。

また、その後の最新ニュースでは、インド人が取調べの最中に死亡したという報道もありました。

恐らく、警察での拷問にも似た取調べによるものかと想像しますが、原因はまだ調査中とのことで、警察が真実を曲げたような報告が可能ならば、いくらでも犯罪行為（違法じみた行為）は可能になってしまいます。

その結果、警察がどんな証拠報告をしようとも承認できなくなりますし、それが現実であったならば（事実であるならば）、とても恐ろしいことです。

Don't Believe Everything You Read

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 02:17:00 +0000

One of the best advice I've ever received: "Don't believe everything you read."

I'd like to share that very advice with you today. And, in the same spirit, I would urge you to be wary, if not critical, of letters posted on Malaysiakini.

That some of the letters posted there are inflammatory, derogatory, or wishy-washy in tone is fine, as those traits are characteristic of letters in general. (They also make letters more fun to read, which is a plus.) But some other letters there can be of somewhat dubious nature, and it is those that are worrisome.

I'll provide an example. Here is a recent letter on Malaysiakini -- "Allah ban: We Muslims not easily confused" -- where the author assumes a Muslim name.

I think the writer of the letter isn't being honest; I have doubts as to whether he really is a Muslim, and I'll set out to prove why.

Some Conjectures

My reasoning is as follows:

1. The author's name. The name attached to the article is "Abdul Rahman". This gives us the initial impression that the writer is -- or at least, should be -- a Muslim.

But the writer uses a generic Muslim name, which doesn't help in any way, and Malaysiakini provides no mechanism for a reader to verify a writer's background. As anyone can write using any name they like, and Malaysiakini's policies cloaks them with anonymity, the probability -- that the writer in the said article is a non-Muslim -- is always there.

2. The ultra-assertiveness. The writer is being too assertive about his Muslim-ness. As if he needs to prove something, or that he wants us to be believe so badly that he is a Muslim, period. Thus, we see him using similar phrases repeatedly, such as these:

"As a Muslim"
"about us Muslims"
"who are showing our strength in pushing others by preventing them from using this word"
"can 'confuse' us as Muslims or cause us to be apostates to Islam"
"so much misunderstanding that the world has over us Muslims"
"to protect us Muslims "
"the biggest embarrassment to us Muslims in Malaysia"
"to the silent majority"
"not only us Muslims"
"As a Muslim"
"my faith in my Allah"

(Each phrase from the above is reproduced verbatim, and only once, in the exact order that it appears in the original text.)

Even if the word "us" is removed from (most of) the above sentences, the letter would still make sense, grammatically and semantically. (After all, the writer had established the fact that he is a Muslim early in the article, hadn't he?) Thus, the over-use of the word 'us' is quite eyebrow-raising.

Furthermore, even in real life, being too assertive about something is bad, as it makes you come off too strongly, besides giving the appearance that you're trying to hide something.

3. Dead giveaway phrases. There are some other clues that bring me to reason as to why the writer is a non-Muslim:

"... the silent majority".

The above is a phrase often found in the letters section of local newspapers. I've always disagreed with its use, because it is misleading.

The word 'majority' implies that more than half of Muslim-Malaysians are against the ban. But this is impossible to prove, unless a nationwide public survey has been conducted on the matter. (Which, as far as I know, isn't the case.) Furthermore, the phrase, and the way it is put -- "silent majority" -- implies that the 'majority' choose to keep their feelings repressed instead, which is just laughable.

"... are showing our strength in pushing others"

For a Muslim, he's throwing around quite a handful of contempt, isn't he? I understand the need to be critical about the actions and conduct of your fellow men, but there's a certain nuance in the sentence, and a heavy one at that, which makes me think that the writer isn't writing honestly.

"... my Allah"

I've lived among Muslims all my life, but I've never heard anyone use a possessive personal pronoun with the word Allah before. Really, the above phrase sounds wrong in so many ways.

Conclusion

One reveals his character with the way he writes. And my guess, after having read the article, is that the writer isn't a Muslim. Which is bad, because some readers may get the wrong idea, or become angry.

(And before this post gives rise to a misunderstanding, I need to clarify something: I am not attacking anyone.)

Malaysian Police

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 23:35:00 +0000

Not only are Malaysian police known to be corrupt, they're also highly inefficient and uncaring. I speak from personal experience.

Experiences, True Stories

1. My most recent visit to a police station was about 3 months ago. I went there with my cousin. We came prepared; we had brought with us a detailed report, and yet we were still made to wait for 3 hours. (Some two other policemen were just sitting on chairs outside, talking with random people, doing nothing and not showing interest in anything.)

2. When my family car was stolen, the policeman behind the counter, who was watching TV and eating at the time, asked my family to file a report at another police station without giving any reason at all. (Also, we never received any follow-up calls on the status of our missing car.)

3. My friend's auntie was a victim of snatch-theft. At the time, she was wearing a necklace. These two guys on a bike rode up to her, grabbed at the necklace, and sped away. She was left with a bit of a scar. But when she called the police station, they answered that they would not chase after the thieves. Instead, they insisted her to come and report the incident; just that.

4. A cousin of mine was stopped by a police car on the road, for no reason. The policeman who stepped out immediately asked for "coffee money", without even bothering to acknowledge him first.

5. My friend was driving with his brother on the highway, when a speeding police car nearly rammed them from the side. My friend parked by the side of the road immediately. The police car stopped somewhere ahead of them; a raging policeman thumped out and headed straight to my friend's car, shouting insults, and saying things like, "Who the hell do you think you are?! Do you know who I am?"

(Take note that it was the policeman who drove crazily; not my friend. Moreover, the policeman wasn't even wearing his name tag, which I believe is a legal obligation.) The policeman then threatened to fine them, but after a quick argument (and also the fact that my friend has a very high-ranking father, who could get them fired), they decided to leave.

6. Someone very dear to me has had a bitter experience with the police, far worse than anyone could imagine, but I cannot narrate it here.

More Notes

Many policemen seem to be without proper qualifications, choosing to enter the police force only because it's an easy way out, as a "government post" that offers "security" (retirement schemes).

During my school days, I had friends who wanted to become policeman. They were already rotten kids even then, so I wonder what kind of policemen they'd make now.

Recent Events

Some years back, several policemen were charged for assisting with the bombing of a Mongolian woman.

Not so long ago, a man sustained very serious burns while in police custody, having been scalded with hot water.

And very recently, a man died while in police custody. Not only was the cause of death changed, but now the police aren't even permitting a second post-mortem. What are they hiding?

I feel very sorry for the man who passed away, but at the same time, I also feel glad because the police (and Malaysian politicians who adore and protect them so lovingly) have much to answer for now. In fact, the Attorney-General has just declared that the case is one of murder, and I doubt that there's any good way to wriggle out of this.

It's a good start, but we need a name (or names). Someone has got to be responsible for this. Malaysia hasn't been very safe lately what with the increasing crime rates, and it's become even scarier that the police themselves are perpetrating crimes now.

More On Legalese

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 06:06:00 +0000

The thing is, I like simple English. And I dislike legal English, because it's difficult to read, write and understand.

But I happen to encounter legalese very often, as it's a big part of my field of study. Sadly, only rarely are such encounters ever pleasant experiences.

Still, it was interesting to stumble upon an article on the matter, which advocates simple English, and gives strong reasons (and tons of examples) as to why 'human' English is at least a billion times better than legalese.

My Thoughts On Legalese

1. Legalese is often used to obscure. And contrary to what a lot of people think, legalese won't automatically be prolific or rich with details. Legalese usually hints at something, without actually telling you what that thing is. Legalese can sometimes be so general and all-encompassing that you could fit in any topic under the same heading.

2. Reading legalese can be a waste of time. Not only is legalese annoying, it can also be dangerous, especially because many people don't read contracts in full. (And even if they do read it, do they bother to understand the implications of the terms in the contract?) For example, tell me: when was the last time you read a simple Terms of Use document, like the one that comes with your online email service? Did you read the warnings that appeared when you installed some new software on your computer?

3. Being able to write legalese won't make you any sharper. Plus, legalese sounds evasive, and it scares people off.

As For Me

Yep, I'm strongly against legalese.

A Little Bit On Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 10:16:00 +0000

Lately, I've been chancing upon old friends. By now, they are either married, or about to be.

For example, I encountered M, an old friend from Sudan, the other day. He has plans to marry in the coming months, and his bride-to-be "is very beautiful", a fact which he describes to me with a gush of warmth in his eyes.

And today, J -- another old friend, who hails from the Comoro Islands -- showered me with broad-brimmed smiles as he shook my hand and informed me of his (recently) married status, while urging me to get married all the same.

And then, there's M, A, Q, and several other friends. They are all good people, who seem genuinely happy at the prospect of marriage, who wear genuine smiles when they speak of it, who sing praises of matrimonial harmony and then delight in recounting their personal rendition of it.

Occasionally, I put forward a question or two to them, just to "keep it real", and to see how pragmatic they are about their lives. Questions like, "Are you financially stable yet?" or "How's it going to be 10 years down the road, with kids and all, even though you're still not there yet?"

Usually, the answers come along the lines of, "Marriage is a blessing, and God will bestow his blessings and help by rewarding those who are married." At other times, the answers come with well-planned, long-term details.

As For Me

I, on the other hand, maintain a somewhat reserved stance about the whole marriage thing.

It's not that I'm against marriage; I just find it difficult. Chalk it up to the insanely high divorce rates, idiotic feminists and their selfish attitudes, etc. Even if Malaysian women aren't 'Western' or 'modern' in appearance, many are still just that in character or way of thinking -- though of course they would be hard of head to admit it -- and this puts me off quite a fair bit.

However, it's amusing to know that I'm not alone in having such thoughts. Even as far back as a century ago, eminent people like Natsume Souseki had already taken note of such trends (and had then gone on to make somewhat scathing observations about it too):

"... Her words, I thought, were a little harsh. But they did not seem offensive to me. Sensei's wife was not so modern a woman as to take pride and pleasure in being able to display her mental prowess. "

(Kokoro, by Natsume Souseki,
as translated by Edwin McClellan.)

Either way, it's refreshing to know that there are still people out there who cherish the idea of marriage, and who have no reservations about it.

Malaysian Signboards

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 17:19:00 +0000

I met with old friends today. We had agreed to a watering hole somewhere in Subang, which I got to via a series of highways.

Having ventured a fair bit, I've now several observations to make:

1) Generally speaking, Malaysian signboards are badly-designed.
2) Often, they are placed in highly inconvenient locations (such as being placed immediately before a junction, instead of a few hundred metres before it), and/or obscured by bushes, leaves and large trees.
3) Signboards rarely denote an exact location, no matter how 'major' a location is. It acts more as a reminder of the place you're trying to get to. (E.g. if you're aiming for 'Ampang', you have to follow the signboard for 'Cheras' instead, all the way.)
4) At night, visibility of text is rather poor as some signboards are not well-lit, that is, if they are even lit at all.
5) The approximate distances given to a location can seem (or actually be) way off.
6) Some signboards serve to confuse your sense of direction instead of giving you one.

In other words, Malaysian signboards can be somewhat useless.

The Big Step

noreply@blogger.com (Wan Zafran) — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 06:08:00 +0000

She's visiting the family today. For the first time.

Note: The above photo (starring His Feline Majesty King Johnny II, in a rather odd kneeling position) is cute, but unrelated.