To be honest, though, my biggest worry when I look at fun fashion like Shinesty, I think, “They won’t have my size” or the “plus size” will be tiny and ill-fitting. When I reached out to Shinesty with this concern, they immediately responded, “Our family pjs go up to size 2X in both men’s and women’s. However, our Christmas suits & dresses do have extended sizing. Our skater dresses & turtleneck dresses go up to 5X, and our men’s suiting goes up to 60 in the jacket, and 50 in the pants.” Suddenly, a pair of holiday-themed overall pjs and a funky wrap dress for Thanksgiving seemed possible.

I tried to convince my husband to wear a matching holiday suit with me, but he wasn’t brave enough. Maybe next year, I will convince my oldest to “stay weird and shine on with me” with coordinating suits and we’ll share another Shinesty Review.

Shinesty generously sent me the Red Ryder Pajamaralls and That 70s dress in 2x and I’m thrilled to share that they are comfy, fun, and true to size! The Pajamaralls are roomy and fun and they will definitely be a winter-time favorite. My only wish is that the fabric was a bit softer and warmer. I would love a pair in The Caribou Lous and The Everyday Eve! I would also love to order family pjs!

In addition, I love this quirky orange, yellow, and brown That 70’s Dress, perfect for some Thanksgiving fun! It’s definitely not a pattern and color combination for the shy, but it’s such a fun candy corn/fall colors dress. I also enjoy the flattering tie wrap waist, v-neck, and puffed-wrist sleeves. Once again, I would argue that the un-lined polyster fabric is far from ideal, especially for the price point, but I can’t ignore the inclusion of pockets. Overall, it’s a fun, flattering Shinesty dress.

What Shinesty item will you put on your Christmas list this year? If you use my Shinesty link to buy something fun, you could earn 20% and I get a $20 off bonus!

The post Shinesty Review: Bold Fashion Choices appeared first on The Inquisitive Mom.

During my teenage years, I knew I wasn’t thin enough. I had curves, but I was not athletic or particularly active, so my rounded belly, curvaceous hips, and thick thighs stood out to me. I suffered from irritable bowel syndrome as a teen and, although regularly sick, I never felt like my body “benefited” from being ill. It seemed only fair that, if I had to be sick and avoid certain foods, I should at least be thin. And, full disclosure, I would have traded some of my health for thinness if it’d worked. If you’d asked me, I would deny that being fat was “bad,” but I’d clearly bought into the idea that fat bodies can’t.

My Secret Fear

My secret fear in aging was becoming fat. I knew what fat bodies couldn’t do: Be beautiful, be sexy, exercise without looking foolish, wear a bikini, don stylish clothing, gain respect, hike, climb, swim, ride, play, or be taken seriously-not fully and equally. Even though I loved many fat and overweight people who were beautiful, fun, active, and more, I still bought into the idea that fat bodies can’t.

Today

Today, I’m 41 and fat. I still want to erase the word “fat” and put “overweight” because I feel like connotation matters. I’ve spent years learning to live in my changing body; one that’s experienced pregnancy, childbirth, c-sections, miscarriages, moving, depression, marriage, sex, weight loss, breastfeeding, weight gain, exercising, concussions, surgery, periods of inactivity, travel, and more. My body is good and enough to live a rich, challenging, stimulating, love-filled life.While I still struggle with that voice in my head telling me I’d be worth more thin, I am learning that fat bodies can.

It’s amazing that it’s taken so long to learn this. I hiked a mountain and my husband proposed to me at 25: I was overweight then. I’ve spent countless hours chasing toddlers, swimming, swinging, walking Europe, earning a Master’s Degree, starting a new career teaching, and walking up and down stairs; all while being overweight. My life has shown me this: fat bodies can.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve taken up biking. We’re lucky to have a gorgeous, scenic bike trail near our home that is used by amateurs and more serious cyclists. This spring, I declared that I wanted to ride every day. My husband took up the challenge–an initial idea to ride 6 miles round trip became a 13 mile ride every morning. And riding is hard. Exhilarating. Exhausting. Energizing. Fun. I get to talk with my best friend every morning and push my body to keep going and challenging itself. I pass by all kinds of people with all types of bodies–older, younger, flabby, fit, curvy, trim, and everything in between–and they all look free and amazing on a bike. I can–and should–bike just as I am, without shame or worry about how I look doing it. Fat bodies can.

The Weight of Your Weight

If you’re feeling the weight of your weight, it can prevent you from being active or thinking you are capable. The weight of other’s judgment and expectations is also incredibly heavy. I’ve tried different workouts and always felt sweaty, awkward, and self-conscious. During the past few years, I lost 20 hard-earned lbs on Keto, then put 30 back on. But I am not defined by those pounds. I will not be more love-able, like-able, or worth more if I drop weight. I may do so for my health and my body may change as I change, or maybe it won’t. Either way, I can.

Fat Bodies Can

I started making a list of what my body can do and I hope you’ll create your own and add positive things to the comments. If you’re tempted to comment about what fat bodies can’t, just don’t.

Fat Bodies Can

Be sexy

Earn degrees

Be love-able

Wear stylish clothes and be trendsetters

Play sports

Be beautiful

Be confident

Exercise – walk, run, hike, swim, jump, bike, etc.

Be taken seriously

Take up space without guilt

Be in charge

Be loved

Enjoy sex

Be admired

Succeed

Play sports

Compete

Lead

Be enough

Fat bodies can.

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Frankly, all of this advice echoing in my head often triggers more anxiety, making me want to just hide under the covers. So, what should parenting in a pandemic look like? Compassionate, flexible, adaptable, and loving.

Easy, right? Ideally, we’re all self-isolating at home with our nuclear family, surrounded by comforts, and essentially vacationing. Except, we’re not. Families face all kinds of unique challenges, from food insecurity, to essential workers, to lack of technology, to mental health issues, to daycare concerns, to job insecurity.

I can’t pretend to understand everyone’s situation. I recognize my privileges in this situation and I feel guilt for giving into fear, depression, annoyance, anxiety, uncertainty, boredom, and stress. Except they’re still there and I know my children are struggling with these feelings too. Sometimes, we’re feeling that vacation vibe, and days, hours, or even minutes later, we’re sitting on the edge of losing control.

So, what can we do to make it through this emotional roller coaster while parenting in a pandemic?

Be compassionate. Most importantly, be compassionate with yourself and others. Nothing is normal right now and we will – and should – have an emotional reaction. Let yourself and your kids know that it’s okay to feel uncertain, scared, and even sad. Child Trends recommends we practice the 3 Rs:  Reassurance, Routines, and Regulation.

“First, adults should reassure children about their safety and the safety of loved ones, and tell them that it is adults’ job to ensure their safety. Second, adults should maintain routines to provide children with a sense of safety and predictability (e.g., regular bedtimes and meals, daily schedules for learning and play). And third, adults should support children’s development of regulation. When children are stressed, their bodies respond by activating their stress response systems. To help them manage these reactions, it is important to both validate their feelings (e.g., “I know that this might feel scary or overwhelming”) and encourage them to engage in activities that help them self-regulate (e.g., exercise, deep breathing, mindfulness or meditation activities, regular routines for sleeping and eating). In addition, it is essential to both children’s emotional and physical well-being to ensure that families can meet their basic needs (e.g., food, shelter, clothing).”

Be flexible. Need to slow down? Slow down? Feel better busy? Be busy. Does this change daily? Let it. While it is best to have routines and activities, these shouldn’t wear you down emotionally. Routines, meal and bed times, types of activities: let these be flexible.

Know you can’t (and shouldn’t) be everything to everyone. Juggling kids, work, self-care, community, marriage, relationships, home care, and more is exhausting. If your family is suddenly together 24-7, you can find your every moment scheduled or demanded. It is okay to find “me” time and to relax expectations for everyone, but especially yourself. Pandemics are not normal. You can create a new normal and allow others to help make that happen.

Shower them with love. This looks different for every family. Showering people with love may look like extra hugs or “I love you”s. It can also be stopping to read a book unscheduled, letting a child have a little more down time because they clearly need it, cereal for dinner because you’re tired and they requested it, or playing one more round of Monopoly.

Let it go. I want my students to have the ideal online learning experience. I want my kids to flourish while learning at home. I want my house to be sparkling clean. I want less screen time. I want to be grateful. I want to learn new things. I want to lose weight. I want to make all of our desserts. And I am accomplishing some of these things. But not every moment. And sometimes I binge watch Tiger King on Netflix. I adapt my teaching to our new normal. I let my kids stay up a little later and drink soda in the living room. I take a break to make rubber band bracelets no one will wear. I stop and read memes. I see when I’m reaching a breaking point and let myself just be.

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Poster for Download

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10 Things to Stockpile in a Crisis

1. Email addresses. While pen and paper are classic pen pal tools, an email will do in a pinch. You can even connect kid pen pals by taking photos of their notes, drawings, and sticker masterpieces.

2. Patience. Some of us struggle to find this in even the best of times. This is the moment to gather up extra stores of patience. And for when you run out…

3. Private spaces and Alone time. While finding some private time in the bathroom away from kids can count in an emergency, allow everyone (including you!) time and space apart. This may mean having older kids take turns coming out of their rooms to supervise when parents take a time out.

4. Books. My husband and I have been preparing for this moment for years. We buy up books at every library sale and I grab books at thrift shops, used book sellers, scholastic fairs, and Usborne parties. But you don’t need a home library if you can access ebooks through your library, Scholastic, The NY Public Library, NASA, and more. This is also a great time to visit your community library boxes or enjoy a library pick-up (if available).

5. Facebook Kids Messenger contacts. My kids love this app on their tablets! Parents control who they can be friends with and are able to monitor all messages. Plus, when you need some space, but still want to chat with family members, you can message across the house using overlays, silly video adds, and more.

6. Community. This terms means something different for everyone. Your community may be physical or virtual. In this time of isolation, uncertainty, and fear, check in on your friends. Send quick messages, share jokes, offer a listening ear, send a surprise package, video chat, create a Facebook live, share your talents, and offer to help wherever you can. Buy through pick-up from local restaurants, give to the local food bank, donate books to little libraries, and check in with your neighbors.

7. Games. Board games, video games, made-up games. These are a great way to engage in an organized, structured manner. We love Sardines (Hide and seek reversed. One person hides. Everyone else looks. When you find someone, you hide with them, until everyone is packed in like sardines, waiting for the final person to find them). Even classics like Duck, Duck, Goose and Twister can be surprisingly fun for all ages. Also, looking for all-ages online fun? Animal Crossing: New Horizons comes out tomorrow (https://amzn.to/390oZLe – My Amazon Affiliate link).

8. Hobbies. Now is the time to pursue that hobby you’re always planning on pursuing. If you’re like me, you may have craft supplies you always intend to get around to. Let yourself be a creator. Write. Sing. Build. Bake. Craft. Experiment.

9. Music. This is your moment to *finally* listen to the Hamilton Soundtrack on repeat. Introduce your kids to some classic music. Give their tunes a chance. Have a dance party. Crank up the tunes when you’re doing chores or feeling cooped up.

10. Stories. AJR tells us, “100 bad days made 100 good stories. 100 good stories make me interesting at parties.” Gather your stories. Record them on paper, computer, Facebook, video. It doesn’t feel like it now, but great stories will come from these bad-seeming days.

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40

Fine lines appear

next to my grinning mouth

and smiling eyes.

Some call them crow’s feet.

They’re more like wings,

each feathered strand representing

40 years of joy

and sometimes sadness.

Lines mapping out a life intertwining

laughter, love, and grief.

My soft belly pushes against waistbands,

jagged, fading flames marking where

four babies stretched, thrived, and nestled there.

They intersect at the bottom,

mingling with a scar reminding me

that I have faced down

the frightening and the unexpected.

And I will again.

Some wear down the heels of their shoes,

memoirs of roads less traveled;

days survived step by step;

adventures yet to come.

The seams at my inner thighs

are rough, worn, and faded where

they rub each time

I take a step,

stand in front of a classroom,

race my toddler to the door,

or cross walk to a new adventure.

Around 30, coarse black hairs

like none I’d ever grown before

emerged at the tip of my chin,

brazen, dark and rough.

I pluck them, but thy reappear unbidden

• unapologetically –

to claim space,

reminding me to claim my space

• unapologetically –

at 10, 20, 40, 60, 80, and beyond.

40 is

Black coffins,

the macabre,

an omen of a life nearly

half over.

My 40 is

The scarlet, amber, and tangerine

of a gold-tinted sunrises,

fashion-risks,

quirky frames, winged eyeliner,

saying what I mean,

feeling deeply, unapologetically,

and wearing flats to preserve my aching feet for

the next adventure.

I am 40 and

I like who I am,

words I could only begin to say

at 30.

I am a kind face to strangers,

articulating my soul through pen,

messing up and trying again.

I am boldly red,

joyfully yellow, and

sometimes – unexpectedly – blue.

At 40, I am

madly in love with a man

whose face defies gravity

and friendship soothes my soul;

with kids outgrowing their baby fat

and donning opinions and ideals;

with friends and family

who age delightfully alongside me.

And, at 40,

I’m even learning to fall a little in love

with me.

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When I think Ugly Christmas Sweater, those grandma sweaters with Christmas cats and applique ornaments come to mind. I like the idea of a nod to nostalgia, a bit of kitsch, an humorous holiday fun. Jolly puppies in Santa hats on knitted cardigans aren’t quite my style, though, so I prefer to find my holiday wear at UglyChristmasSweater.com. The folks at UglyChristmasSweater.com offer a wide selection of Ugly Christmas Sweaters that range from outrageous, to silly, to naughty, to sweet; all in sizes suited to fit you much better than granny’s jumper.

I knew immediately upon clicking on women’s Ugly Christmas Sweaters that a cultural reference would be for me. As a self-proclaimed Potter-head, I immediately found the Harry Potter sweater. I liked it, but it wasn’t quite whimsical enough for me.

Then I found the classic National Lampoon Griswold Sweater, Can you imagine this sweater with lights added for $9.99? It would be Griswold perfection!

I also spied the Elf Buddy Santa I Know Him sweater and immediately thought of the 4 Elf food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.

But then I spotted the Where’s Waldo Snow Mountain sweater with the red collar and cuffs and it won me over. This sweater reminded me of both my childhood and time spent in London finding “Where’s Wally?” on the train. My only regret? Not ordering the lights.

I didn’t really think through how awkward having people search for Waldo on a sweater could. Thankfully, only my husband has searched so far and I’ve received tons of compliments on my fun, colorful shirt.

I was excited to see not only women’s styling, but larger sizes offered as well. Based on many reviews suggesting to size up, I ordered a 2x. While the sweater fit is fine, the sleeves are a bit long and it doesn’t have the oversize sweater feeling I expected. Keep in mind as well that “sweater” is a fairly loose term here. My Ugly Christmas Sweater in 100% cotton would be more accurately labeled a sweatshirt and a relatively light-weight one.

If sweaters aren’t your thing, you can also find a Sequin X-Mas Lights Blazer, sweaters with stuffed animals protruding out the front and back, winter leggings and pajama  suits. I would love to put my family in matching pajama suits for Christmas! Cozy, festive, and funny all one. Now that I’m looking at them again with their hoodies and footies, I may need one of those pajama suits after all.

If you want to treat yourself, a family member, or friend to something fun and festive this season, you can find men’s and women’s sweaters and pajamas at UglyChristmasSweater.com.

Disclosure: I received product in exchange for this review. All opinions are my own.

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My family lives across the country from grandparents. While my  husband and I are Washingtonians, our kids are little Iowans. We love living in the Midwest, but we never forget that we came from the beautiful Pacific Northwest. It’s important to stay connected from a distance and that’s why I created this DIY Grandparent’s gift using the Stencil Revolution United States Map Outline Stencil. With just a few affordable craft items, I created a unique, thoughtful Love Across the Miles DIY Grandparent’s Gift called for Christmas, birthdays, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day. Plus, my older children could help!

Love Across the Miles DIY Grandparent’s Gift Using Stencil Revolution

Supplies

United States Map Outline 8.5 x 11 Stencil from Stencil Revolution 

OR United States Map Stencil 8.5 x 11 from Stencil Revolution

Hearts, Clubs, Diamonds, Spades 5 x 6 Stencil from Stencil Revolution

8 x 10 Canvas Panel White

White Paint

Yellow Paint (or primary color of choice)

Red Paint

3 I inch Foam Sponge Brushes

Craft Paint Rollers

Painters Tape

Permanent Marker

Newspaper to protect surface

Plate for paints

Favorite Quote. I used “I imagine a line, a white line, painted on the sand and on the ocean, from me to you.” ― Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

I have supplies listed with affiliate links from Amazon. If you order from these links, proceeds go to support my blog. Of course, you can find these items at any craft, big box, or even dollar store. I found my canvases in a pack at the local Ross Dress for Less. I also found that purchasing the paints in a set saved me money over time and that is why I have them linked to a bundle.

Set Up

1. Find a flat, dry space to paint.
2. Lay out newspaper to protect your surface.
3. Place canvas on top of newspaper.
4. Center your US Outline Stencil on your canvas.
5. Use painters tape to keep stencil in place.

Tip: Practice on a flat piece of paper before using your canvas. This will help you get the hang of your tools and try out the stencil before committing to a canvas.

Love Across the Miles DIY Grandparent’s Gift Step By Step

Step 1:

Roll your roller in white paint. Holding your stencil flat as you go, roll the white paint across the canvas until all of the spaces are sufficiently filled with paint. Let paint fully dry.

This step is important because it creates a layer between your final paint color and your canvas that helps to keep the paint from bleeding. No matter what I tried, I never quite tackled paint bleed-over completely, but I still loved the finished product. If you are a perfectionist, this US map stencil with it’s tiny lines that do not want to lay flat may offer a challenge for you (and your kids). Consider using this US Map Stencil instead if this is the case. You may also want to use flat paper instead of a textured canvas for different results. I would love to try this stencil for next project to see if I can create cleaner lines!

Step 2:

While you wait for the white paint to dry, immediately wash your stencil and then dry it completely. Once the stencil dries, it becomes more difficult to remove without harming the delicate lines of the stencil.

Step 3:

With stencil still in place, use clean roller to roll main color across the canvas a second time. I also like to go over this with a paint sponge to intensify the color and fill in any gaps. Let paint fully dry.

Step 4:

Remove the US State Stencil and place one of the hearts on the second stencil over the state you want to highlight. Fill in the heart using red paint and a sponge brush. Repeat for any remaining states using the other hearts on the stencil. Let paint fully dry.

Step 5:

Immediately clean stencils to make for easier clean up.

Step 6:

Write quote along canvas using permanent marker. You could also try to stencil this on, but I think writing it adds a personal touch. If you have a child old enough to write, consider having them write a short quote or even just have your family members write their names on the canvas with “We Love You.”

Stencil Revolution

Thanks to Stencil Revolution for reaching out to me and inviting me to get creative with their high quality stencils! Their awesome team shipped out the stencils quickly and offered fast, friendly advice and tips when I needed support. You can also see some of my Mandala stencil experiments on my Instagram Account.

Disclosure: I received product in exchange for a product focus. All opinions are my own. Affiliate links are also included in this post. Proceeds go to support my blog.

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I’m not certain when I learned to hate my body.

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I rode a bike today.
It was scary.
It was exciting.
It was painful.
It was precarious.

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