The Inquisitive Mom

Where Did the Year Go? Kai's 1st Birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Fri, 25 May 2012 20:43:00 +0000

This guy

turned 1 on Saturday! (thanks for the birthday onesie, Grandma Cathy!)

We celebrated sweet Kai's big day with a backyard BBQ and family friends.

I am so grateful for this bundle of energy, crawling enthusiastically after his siblings, getting into everything, grinning mischievously, and looking up at me with those big eyes. It's crazy to think that we've already reached this one year milestone and that he's finally sleeping through the night and taking those tenuous first steps. While being a mom of three definitely keeps me on my toes, my life is fuller and sweeter with this fella' around!

While it might not look like it in the photos, I decided to go a bit more low-key this year. We had a few decorations with streamers and balloons, but most of my energy went into the cakes (like usual).Tim grilled up some hot dogs and we enjoyed sides of chips and summer fruit while the kids played in the pool and ran down the slip and slide.

Our church had a father/son camp out Friday night, so Ella and I enjoyed a girl's night (plus Kai). We were going to make 3 barnyard cakes initially, but I convinced her to just pick two when I realized that even two cakes required three batches of batter. We decided to make bodies out buttermilk cake (I adore this delicious recipe from Family Fun), the faces out of chocolate, and the ears and feet out of banana.

Ella selected the sheep and pig, both relatively simple compared to some of the other complex cakes I've attempted. We loved putting all the marshmallows on the sheep to make fur and I decided to go with chocolate chips over piping chocolate frosting because that was something a 5 year-old could easily help with.

Here's Ella beside her cakes at the party. I love this girl!

Kai enjoyed a mellow time hanging out with his twin girlfriends and sharing a meal.

He like playing in the pool with the big kids.

He was very eager to try the cake - he knows good stuff when he sees it!

When it came time to open presents, he spent time with each one, even admiring the cards.

It worked out really well to let each "big" kid "help" Kai open the present they brought. He was perfectly content to let them do most of the ripping.

For our gifts, I planned ahead and unhinged them from the myriad of packaging, twisty ties, and tape. This cuts down on frustration and lets baby instantly enjoy the toy!

Luckily, we also remembered the "Pin the crown on the baby" Ella and her friend created for the big day.

Kai had a great time and was exhausted at the end of the day by sun and fun. I am so grateful to have fantastic friends to celebrate these milestones with!

In a Rut

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Tue, 22 May 2012 19:22:00 +0000

I've got a case of the blahs.

Lately, I feel like I wake up to the same. Same as yesterday. Same as tomorrow. I know everyone goes through it, but it's seriously eating at my motivation. I have a series of blog posts and a thoughtful article to start, as well as an interesting book to finish for book club. I have project ideas - retro hair bands and clips, homemade robots for family night - but haven't started any.

I start something here or there, but get hit with the blahs halfway through. I'm lacking motivation and watching old episodes of Felicity from my teenage years isn't helping. I remember feeling life so intensely and having someone besides my baby look at me like that. I empty the dishwasher, do some laundry, play with the kids, then sneak an episode while I eat lunch or the kids take a tv break themselves.

I'm not depressed or especially ungrateful. I know my life is good, but I'm just in a rut that started Sunday. I've been on overdrive for a few weeks now post kidney stone. Trying to catch up on the yard, get the house under control, give the kids the attention they deserve. After a long weekend of birthday, garage sales, and preparation, I think I burnt out m motor.

I long for a day all to myself. A real one - not the kind where kids are screaming in the background while Dad corrals them so I can "nap." I just want to sit on a beach, dig my feet in warm sand, and get lost in a good book. I think they call it vacation. I want to go on a real date.

More than anything, I want to find a way to get re-energized, inspired, and refreshed so I can finish something, get carried away by my usual enthusiasm, and fully enjoy summer break with the kids.

One goal at a time to get out of the blahs, I guess. I'll start tomorrow, with a post about Kai's fun 1st birthday party from this weekend.

What do you do to reboot when you have a case of the blahs?

I Am...

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:20:00 +0000

Throw your head back and laugh too loud,
Sneak just one more sweet snack,
Strike up a conversation in the grocery store line,
Impatiently waiting my turn,
Bring up taboo topics with a new friend,
In a hurry, even though I planned ahead,
Silently fuming, though I hate to hold a grudge,
Bold and direct, but sensitive and compassionate,
An introvert always internalizing, but far from quiet or shy,
A sucker for a compliment,
More fashionable than my weight or budget allow,
Glitter eye shadow despite my age,
Brokenhearted over my broken Bakers gladiators,
Messy despite my best intentions and before kids,
Brimming with enthusiasm,
Researching, talking about, wanting to do the next thing,
Talk with a good friend like it's a tennis match,
Cook something fancy to show my love,
Torn between living in the moment and writing about the moments before,
Write it so much better than I can say it,
Working on restraining myself in person,
but less on my blog,
Sincere,
Intense,
Well-meaning, but not always following through,
Wishing my belly away, but coming to terms with my hips,
Longing to get past the superficial,
Curious about what you really think,
In year eight of a lifelong love affair,
Always deviating from my to-do list,
Happy to be me despite my flaws.

Tell me about yourself. What might someone know about you if they've never met you in person, but only read your blog? Feel free to share in the comments or link here to your own "I Am" Post!

Red Barn Cloth Diapers Woolie Wrap Review & Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Fri, 11 May 2012 15:06:00 +0000

If not for Nifty Nappy Fitted Cloth Diapers and wool covers, my older son might not have stayed in cloth diapers at night. He became a heavy wetter seemingly overnight and pocket diapers simply couldn't keep him dry. I was admittedly hesitant at first to purchase wool, especially considering the cost. Once I tried wool, however, I realized that the word "investment" truly applies. For $73, you can purchase two fitteds and a wool cover, keeping baby dry at night, saving your sanity, and the cost of disposables!

A wool cloth diaper cover can be used, laid out to dry, and reused for 2 to 4 weeks, barring any poop sneaking its way onto the cover. Wool also makes for a true workhorse diaper cover, pulling away moisture, keeping baby dry at night, and saving you from the headache of soiled pjs and sheets. Wool is breathable and does a great job distributing moisture, so it makes an excellent night time cover when baby sleeps through the night. A Woolie Wrap can be used as a day time diaper cover and I love a wool bum combined with a t-shirt!

The majority of my experience with wool covers over fitteds has been with Nifty Nappy products, so I was sad when Vilate decided to stop making them. It didn't take long for Jeni at Red Barn Diapers to become a cottage licensee, though, ensuring that Nifty Nappys are available to keep babies dry. Vilate personally taught Jeni how to sew Nifty Nappys, so customers can expect the same quality craftmanship from Red Barn Diapers.

I was lucky enough to win a Woolie Wrap diaper cover from one of the many generous giveaways Jeni sponsored to introduce Red Barn Diapers to the cloth diaper community. I selected a gender neutral color, but told Jeni that I loved bold colors - I'm not partial to pastels popular in cloth diapers. She sent me a bright purple wool cover, with the famous wool interlock inside. I like the diaper for a boy or girl, although the red snaps and thread always make me think of the poem "When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple with a red hat."

I had to use this photo because he is taking steps on his own while modeling the Woolie Wrap! He has only done this a couple of times!

The cover is similar in quality to the other Nifty Nappy wool covers we own and I like the slim fit of this particular wool and the way it doesn't stretch out in the tabs as much as others. I think this is just the luck of the draw with the upcycled wool used, however. I found the one size cover to be a bit snugger fitting than its predecessors, but Jeni indicated to me that she will be using a larger sized pattern in the future. The fit worked fine for our long, skinny boy, however, and at nearly one years old, he will still get a lot of use out of it.

In addition to making Woolie Wraps, Jeni also creates other great Nifty Nappy products, such as Bitti Bums for newborns, AI2s, and the classic Nifty Nappy Fitted Diaper. While I haven't tried these other products from Red Barn yet, I love seeing all of the adorable fabric choices Jeni has available. I'm especially dying over that rainbow fabric! I also just recently saw some Nifty Nappy Bitti Bums in person and they are adorably tiny and will definitely be a true newborn fit.

If you're curious about how a Nifty Nappy fitted paired with a Woolie Wrap works, here's a picture tutorial. The bulkiness depends on the weight of the wool and the size of your baby. I will admit that all of these snaps can be a nap time headache at times, but they are worth it. You also fold the diapers over to fit a smaller baby, which takes a bit of practice, but creates a good fit. You can view video tutorials as well. I think the overlapping snaps on the tabs and the generous number of snaps make all the difference for an excellent fit!

1st, lay the wool cover on the ground (or changing table if you use one).

2nd, lay the fitted diaper on top.

3rd, lay the insert on top. When you fit it on baby, you can direct the absorbency toward the back for a girl and the front for a boy.

4th, snap diaper, left side first, on baby. Overlapping snaps are on the right side tab. Baby can wear a fitted like this alone, but there is no waterproof layer, so it's best for outdoors or at home when you can check absorbency frequently.

5th , snap the cover over the fitted using the same method. Kai rolled over and moved as soon as this happened. He does not have much patience for diaper changes right now. :0)

Jeni has generously offered one The Inquisitive Mom Reader a Woolie Wrap of their very own - valued at $26.50! To enter to win, simply enter using the Rafflecopter form below. Good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Blogging, Business, and Bias in the Cloth Diapering Community

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Sat, 05 May 2012 15:58:00 +0000

A conversation generated by Autumn at All About Cloth Diapers, then continued by Tara at Padded Tush Stats, piqued my interest this morning. In a blog review on Autumn's page, she voiced an opinion about copy cat diapers and those manufactured in China versus WAHM US made diapers. A reader took issue with this, essentially calling the blogger biased.

The conversations on facebook primarily turned to the debate about where diapers are made, how much they cost, and who we should support with our funds, but I think there's a broader issue here. Can we reasonably expect bloggers to be unbiased? Can individuals who accept advertising, benefit from free products, and build relationships with manufacturers and business owners truly be objective? Does is matter if their reviews are subjective?

I don't hide the fact that I enjoyed the cloth diapering community more when I joined it three years ago. Much of this was probably just my naivete, but it felt organic and grassroots. I loved being a part of what seemed to essentially be a community of moms supporting each other, sharing experiences, and finding innovative ways to get cloth diapers into consumer's hands. I also preferred blogs that didn't accept advertising because, while I understand that they make it possible for many bloggers to treat their blogs as a part-time job, I believe they have to influence content.

If I'm being completely honest, however, I also preferred the early days of cloth diapering's emergence into social media because it benefited me and that's my bias. I loved reviewing cloth diapers a few times a month, trying multiple brands out without breaking my budget, being on the cutting edge, and drawing traffic to my blog. These days, you see fewer reviews here because I don't have a cloth diaper only blog, competition is fierce, and many reviews and giveaways, understandably, go to the bloggers with the largest following.

Since that time, more cloth diapering businesses have emerged, social media experts and bloggers have positioned themselves as front runners in the cloth diapering community, and a google search for "cloth diapers" will overwhelm you. I believe this is ultimately a good thing for cloth diapers, for the economy, and the environment. It's not without it's pitfalls.

Just like this morning's conversation naturally led to being informed about our purchases, I believe we should also be informed about where our information is coming from. Who benefits from the blog post we're reading? What are the personal and professional relationships between the blogger and business owners? How might the blogger or business be biased and are they being upfront about these connections? What are the positives and negatives about receiving information from a business, a professional blogger, an occasional reviewer, or a new blogger?

I'm nostalgic for the old days when I could surf the internet and find all kinds of blogs - big and small - representing the diversity in the cloth diapering community with reviews. I enjoyed feeling like the review came from a neighbor who also budgeted for cloth diapers and who felt a thrill each time company said "yes" to a review request. One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing a blogger complain that they have more free review diapers than they can use or that their successful blog takes up too much time. I also feel like the conversations are heavily dominated by sponsors, businesses, and a few individuals wherever I turn. I find myself turning more often to a small, private fb group of cloth diapering moms I was recently invited to join.

Not everyone is like me, though, and that is a good thing. Popular expert bloggers and business pages are well known and respected because they bring quality information to readers. They also draw in a large number of readers, so they can offer exclusive reviews and high value giveaways. I even follow a large number of them myself and appreciate their efforts and important contributions toward bringing cloth diapers into the mainstream. I just want to make sure I'm not naive about their biases.

I don't want this to sound like I'm headed down a path of X-Files conspiracy theories or that I'm accusing anyone of being shady. I just think we're fooling ourselves if we really believe bloggers are or even should be totally unbiased. And, as much as cloth diapering families are still in the minority, we shouldn't kid ourselves into believing that cloth diapering isn't big business with it's share of egos, elbow throwing, and savvy marketing.

Ultimately, I don't think there's one "right" way to blog about cloth diapers. I don't think advertising is evil. I don't even think bias is bad. I just think we as a community need to be flexible and aware as things grow and change and make sure we're informed about where our information is coming from.

I'm Still Here...Barely

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Thu, 03 May 2012 17:56:00 +0000

Sorry things have been so quiet on the blog lately. After 2 1/2 weeks of kidney stone related pain, I think I now have a small inkling of what it must be like to have chronic pain. My biggest mistake was not realizing that the pain would not end when they removed my kidney stone via a procedure on Monday. They got the huge thing out, which is good, but replaced it with a stent to prevent swelling. Once I got home, the meds started wearing off, and I started feeling the stent, I was horrified. My body screamed "Get this thing out of me!" It just feels wrong. I've since discovered a few solutions to help ease some of the pain until the stent comes out on Monday, but until then I'm just sort of hanging in here. I hope you'll bear with me and come back because I have two great reviews coming up, as soon as I feel well enough to write them. Thank goodness for amazing friends who are helping with my kids, my laundry, school pick ups, and morale boosts! I don't know what I'd do without them or my wonderful husband.

Our Happy Home Recipe

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 02:14:00 +0000

KSometimes I feel paralyzed by the need to create a perfect plan, with extensive, expensive visual aids, and an exciting activity. I want to set my family on the right course, motivate us to make right choices, eliminate the yelling and time outs. I read different web sites, look through Pinterest, and search for free clip art that conveys the message of "listen" and "share" for our non-reader. I want to make a change, but I don't have the time to get it "just right."

This weekend, I felt like our family needed a change. Now. I decided to talk to my husband about it and happily discovered he'd been thinking the same thing. We'd both been tossing around ideas in our heads, trying to find ways to adapt our "Choose the Right" and "Choose the Wrong" jars to work better for our family. It felt so good to just start talking about things, bouncing ideas around, pulling out the best ideas, deciding to just go for it.

We decided to try emphasizing the positive by revising our jar system once again and tossing out the "wrong choices" jars in favor of a system that was only about adding to our jars, not taking away. We wanted this to be something our family could own, something we created together, something our kids felt a part of. So, we decided to have a family night and put together a family plan without worrying about fancy handouts or displays. I found some big sheets of used coloring books and went from there.

In a burst of inspiration, I decided to compare building a happy home to making chocolate chip cookies. We first talked about what we needed to make chocolate chip cookies. I asked the kids what the most important, absolutely essential ingredient to chocolate chip cookies is - Chocolate Chips, of course! We then talked about the other ingredients we put into chocolate chip cookies, how you need just the right amounts, how too much salt can ruin it. We discussed how you set the oven temperature, follow mixing directions, and bake times. We also talked about what happens if you bake them too long or at the wrong temperature.

Then I pulled out a new sheet for our family to create our Happy Home Recipe. I asked Dad for the most important ingredient for a happy home - Love, of course! We then added in things that are important to our family, trying to focus on "dos," rather than a long list of "don'ts." Mom and Dad added some, but the kids came up with the majority of them. I think the most telling thing here is the thing our kids wanted from us. I thought they'd say less yelling or time outs, but they just thought a happy home had parents that played more with their kids.

We went on to talk about how we could help make a happy home and ways to earn balls in our "Choose the Right" jars. The CTR symbols here go along with the children's program from our church, but you could easily adapt it in anyway that resonates with your family. We talked about traditional consequences for actions and told the kids we would still have those, including time outs, losing tv and play date privileges, etc, but we wouldn't be focused on taking balls out for wrong choices.

We mainly focused on how they would start anew with their jar empty each day, filling it up with good choices. We haven't completely finalized this yet, but at the end of the day, we'll fill up those thermometers so they can see how well they're doing for the week. It's a work in progress, but these will somehow add up to earning tickets to receive rewards.The kids helped us create rewards. Top of the list - of course - included buying new toys. The list also included going out for ice cream, family swims, extra stories at bed time, and going on carousel rides.

Our family is also ready for regular chores and I thought maybe we could tackle this in a fun way and help to conquer the bossiness problem we've been struggling with. Each one of our big kids received 2 things to be in charge of, where they don't do all the work, but direct it. Ella will help make sure the table is set and ready for meals and make sure all the toys are in the toy room at the end of the day. Ezra will make sure the table is cleared and cleaned up after meals and that the bedroom is cleaned up at the end of the day.

I'm certain this isn't perfect and we'll be adapting it as we go, but I'm excited about setting a new course. We already had some success with Ella wanting to earn balls by doing things without being asked and, when Ezra didn't earn a ball because he had to be asked too many times to put on his pjs, we deflected a fit by asking him to think of another positive way he could earn a ball.

My Kidney Stone and I

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 15:53:00 +0000

I'd like to add an addendum to the Merriam-Webster definition of Patient:

pa·tient

adj \ˈpā-shənt\

Definition of PATIENT year

: bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint

: manifesting forbearance under provocation or strain

: not hasty or impetuous

: steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity

a : able or willing to bear —used with ofb : susceptible, admitting <patient of one interpretation>

— pa·tient·ly adverb

Addendum:
6. Waiting for a kidney stone to pass and accepting that you can't rush it, force it, or do anything but endure it.

It seems that I simply can not let a year go by without reaching our insurance deductible. My body must think it's a grand challenge, asking "What random and costly malady can I have this year requiring tests and procedures?" Next year, I challenge it to use insurance for preventative care only. Wouldn't that be dreamy?

When I arrived home from St. Louis on Saturday, I knew something wasn't right. I went to the local walk-in clinic, where they diagnosed me with a UTI and mentioned a possibility of a kidney stone. After three days of no change with antibiotics, plus no pain relief with meds, I visited my regular doc. She sent me in for a CT Scan, where they discovered a 7 to 8 mm kidney stone - about the size of the top third of your pinky. Since kidney stones can be as small as a grain of sand - and still incredibly painful - I was hoping the urologist they immediately sent me to might intervene.

The urologist - who was at least 75 and had clearly dealt with numberless kidney stone-inflicted patients during his time - was not in such a rush. His nurse told me at one point, "There are worse things than a kidney stone." Gee. Thanks. The doctor ruled out meds that might help the stone pass easier, but are not deemed safe for breastfeeding - they only had a 20% chance of helping anyway. He then set me up for a procedure on Monday to intervene if I didn't pass the stone on my own. He told me that it's possible to pass a stone this large and his final words to me were, "Well, it has a 50% chance of passing on it's own."

Honestly, I don't know what to wish for at this point. The stone must have shifted, so the pain has diminished, but my back hurts and I feel nauseated. I can't imagine that I passed it without knowing. Right? Anyway, with passing a stone often compared to giving birth, I am not certain if I want to pass it before Monday on my own or hope that it stays where it is and waits for Monday's procedure. Either way, I'll be drinking more water from now on.

Any kidney stone stories out there? I'd love to hear them because we all know misery loves company.

World Record Breakers: The Great Cloth Diaper Change 2012 in St Louis

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 14:55:00 +0000

Kai and I helped make history on Saturday. We attended the 2nd Annual Great Cloth Diaper Change, joining with families around the world to break the Guiness World Record created the previous year. We joined a little over 30 families at the West County Cotton Babies store in St Louis. We drove two hours each way to join the fun and we had a fantastic time! I loved walking into the gorgeous store, surrounded by fluff and moms carrying their babies in a variety of slings and carriers.

Highlights of our trip included (finally) meeting Jill from Life is Not Bubble Wrapped and her adorable family! Jill and I live maybe an hour apart and talk regularly online, but this is was our first in person meeting. When I saw her, I couldn't help but give her a hug and I just started talking away, as if picking up a conversation. I'm definitely not shy. Hopefully I didn't overwhelm her. I also loved meeting other area moms and chatting about cloth diapers and life in general. Meeting new people and participating in events like this always rejuvenates me and encourages me to continue blogging, advocating, and connecting!

Jill from Life is Not Bubble Wrapped and her sweet daughter, Brennan.

As luck would have it, we sat across from each other, making it the perfect photo op!

I also had the pleasure of meeting Heather from Cotton Babies. She is the wonderful media rep who joins twitter parties on Monday nights and generously hands out prizes. We chatted awhile back when I won a new Albert Freetime, which I love, during a party. Heather is even more terrific in person, with a natural warmth and enthusiasm, and I loved talking with her!

@cottonbabies,@InquisitiveMom, and @teamshoemaker were delighted to meet in person!

I'd hoped to meet Jennifer Labit in St Louis, but she was in Florida sharing insights and signing fluffy bums for families there. She travels frequently, so it was a bad assumption on my part. I truly enjoyed meeting her professional, friendly staff. They did such a good job remaining flexible, helping customers, and ensuring everyone had a fabulous time. I loved seeing employees walking around the store with babies snuggled in carriers, sharing their expertise, even introducing new families to cloth once the event ended. Even if you don't exclusively use Bum Genius or other Cotton Babies brand products, they sell a variety of other brands, and you can feel good shopping with a business with employees who truly represent their mission.

Kai taking his place before crawling around to visit with other moms, especially ones with snacks!

I tried to get him to pose with his Charlie Banana "Goodbye Disposable, Hello Cloth" diaper.

All the laughter and cheering thrilled Kai, who tried out his new skill - clapping and declaring "Yay!"

A newly changed record breaker.

Thanks to Cotton Babies for hosting the event and to the Baby Care Diaper Service for helping to officiate. We had a wonderful time and we loved our goody bag! Also, thanks to the generous coupon given to participants, I have a new Bum Genius 4.0 to give as a baby shower gift, along with a copy of Changing Diapers. Signing up for Change 3 Things Challenge also inspired me to take a look through our stash for some diapers to donate and help other families begin cloth diapering as well.

Last year, I participated while 8 months pregnant with a nearly potty trained toddler who wasn't too thrilled.

It was fun coming with this happy boy enjoying a leisurely morning!

I'll be watching the numbers to see if we broke the world record for most cloth diapers changed simultaneously. You can too at The Great Cloth Diaper Change.

Simple System, Significant Savings, with Cloth Diapers

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Wed, 18 Apr 2012 15:15:00 +0000

It's Real Diaper Week in anticipation of the Great Cloth Diaper Change and Earth Day. Calley, The Eco Chic, is hosting a Real Diapers, Real Simple, Blog Hop. Today's topic is Real Simple, Real Diaper Savings. I just received my CD of these professional pictures taken of Kai when he was just one month old and I realized that they are an awesome illustration of the cost savings of cloth diapers.

In these photos, Kai is wearing a newborn Fuzzibunz Cloth Diaper. He needed a change during the photo shoot and is wearing a one-size Fuzzibunz in other photos,adjusted to the smallest setting.

Thanks to ABCs Memories Photography for these amazing photos!

This sweet, tiny newborn diaper was retired after just a short time in like new condition, but I stored it away for a future baby and/or to sell.

The one-size Fuzzibunz he wore that day have simply been adjusted over the months, however. At 11 months, he wears a Fuzzibunz diaper multiple times a day and I expect him to use these same diapers until he is potty trained.

Here is Kai in his Fuzzibunz today:

While I didn't purchase these diapers until after my second child (and first in cloth diapers) was potty trained, I do have other brands of diapers that I've used with two babies and will potentially use with a third. If I'd decided to go with a very simple solution to cloth diapering, using the same newborn and one-size diapers for two babies, even diapering two at once, my diaper costs could have looked like this*:
Newborn Cloth Diaper Rental from Modern Cloth (or used diapers sold from rentals): Rent for $211.55. Choose Store Credit at the end, get your trial fee waived, and use that $211.55 toward purchasing one size diapers.
Purchase 24 One Size Fuzzibunz Elite at $18.95 a piece for $454.80.
Use the newborn trial for future babies and pay only the rental fee of about $20 or purchase used newborn diapers.
Add a couple of wet bags and wipes to your order, plus add in detergent and water use, and you can diaper 3 babies for well under $2000. If you consider the cost of using disposables for 3 babies up to 3 years, this is a huge cost savings!

For more information on cloth diapering, please feel free to visit my cloth diapers posts or contact me anytime! My Real Talk About Cloth Diapers 3 Part Series will conclude next Monday. You can read Part 1: Is Cloth Diapering Right for My Family? and Part 2: What's it Really Like to Cloth Diaper now.

Grown Ups Get Scared Sometimes Too

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 14:11:00 +0000

We were driving home from our mini Spring Break trip to Iowa City, Ezra snoozing in the back, and Ella recently awake. Things were quiet until she piped up in the back seat with,"Grown ups get scared sometimes too, right?"

My immediate response: "Yes, of course we do." Then she asked, "What are you afraid of, Mom and Dad?" Tim, who seems ever ready in these moments, replied, "I'm afraid of losing you." I agreed, but it felt like I needed to add my own, so I piped in with "I'm afraid of the dark." Her eyes widened and she nodded in agreement. "I get afraid of the dark too."

I decided to be honest and told her how I know there's nothing to be afraid of in the dark, but it still feels spooky when I'm alone. How I like to sleep with a light on if Daddy is away. She leaned in conspiratorially and admitted "I'm afraid of the monsters in the dark. I don't like to be alone in it."

Then she asked, "What else are you afraid of?" Inside, I thought "Where do I start?" I looked at my innocent, confident, amazing little girl and instantly wished for her to avoid all the fears creeping through me, threatening my sanity if I let them settle in. I wanted her to remain in that space where her biggest worry is non-existent monsters, rather than real ones in the form of bullies, media messages, terrorists, rapists, kidnappers, and self doubt.

I decided to go with, "Sometimes I'm afraid of not doing as well as I want to" or something to that effect. What I was really thinking - "I'm afraid of failing, like in important moments such as these." It didn't have quite the same impact as the dark, but we talked a bit about it and she understood the fear.

Suddenly it came to me, what this conversation was really about. Earlier that morning, I'd mentioned meeting a little 3 year-old girl in the mall who'd just had her ears pierced to Tim. I thought we could be cool parents and offer pierced ears as a vacation memory for our little girl. He readily agreed because he'd have our baby's ears pierced if I'd agree. I've always thought a little girl should choose, though, so this seemed like a perfect moment.

When I proposed the idea to her, however, everything went wrong. She immediately blanched and told us she didn't want to. She'd have her ears pierced when she was "a mommy." We tried to talk about it, but she was having none of it. I then told her that it was okay and she could tell us when she was ready. She grew furious and told us to "Stop it!" Clearly, I thought I was being encouraging and all she heard was pressure.

Sitting in the car, looking into her earnest face, I asked her if she was afraid of having her ears pierced and if that was why she felt so upset earlier. She nodded and we talked a bit, softly, calmly, about getting your ears pierced. She heard us, she still wasn't ready to do it, but she was ready this time to really hear me when I told her she could decide if and when.

I told her she could talk to us any time she felt afraid and we would be there to listen. She nodded, reassured, and I felt such tenderness for my girl. I also saw one of my fears squashed for the day - Sometimes my best is good enough in these important moments.

Here are some vacation photos of the Iowa Children's Museum, just for fun:

Know it All Mommy

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 14:53:00 +0000

Sometimes I get into a groove for the day. I know what needs to be accomplished, I've got the timing down, and I've planned how we're going to get there.

In order to get to preschool on time, Ezra needs a 10 to 15 minute warning before we absolutely must be out the door. I've figured out ways to motivate him, encourage his independence, and get those shoes on so we're not late.

If we're going to make it to swim lessons on time, the best case scenario involves getting swimsuits on before dinner, pushing them to finish their meal, then getting the family out the door.

Our schedule is fairly routine, so I've been through the excuses, the push backs, and the fits a hundred times. I can anticipate what they're going to say before they say it. I must repeat myself ad nauseum and there's no time to stop to listen. We need to go. To get this done. I don't want to hear myself say "It's time for PJs, to get your shoes on, to pick up, to (insert command here)" one more time.

I've realized recently, though, that in my desire to anticipate, to get it right, to give them enough time, to provide fair warning, to get it done, I'm often getting it wrong.

I was mowing the lawn on Wednesday while the baby slept and the older kids played. Our funky lawnmower won't start again for maybe an hour once it stops, so this neccessitated yelling back and forth with the kids instead of turning it off to hold a proper conversation. As I was finishing the back lawn, I see Ezra hovering near the fence and the gate into our neighbor's yard. He is not allowed to go over to the neighbor's yard when they are not home, but it's all he wants to do. I old him not to go over there, then turned to continue mowing. As I turned back, I see that he's snuck over, then hurried back into our yard. I started to chastise him, then realized he's only grabbed a toy lawnmower so he can mow beside me and help with the yard. He was so determined to help and proudly copied my efforts. It hurt a little to realize that I'd almost ruined this tendermoment by assuming I'd understood his intentions and focusing on what he was doing wrong instead of what he was doing right.

Thinking over that experience, I realized that it is far more typical than I'd like. My rush to get somewhere or my determination that I've said it enough times or my impatience are often like the loud lawnmower. The kids are trying to get my attention over the noise I'm making, but I toss another command at them, then continue on. They have an idea, a feeling, a need, but I'm not hearing it. At times, I'm even squashing it or having to go back and apologize because I've made too quick of an assumption.

My kids have amazing things to say, wonderful hearts, and determined personalities. I am not respecting these things or enjoying these terrific little people when I'm too quick to be a know it all. My daughter shouldn't need to say, "You're talking over me, mommy" and I need to be willing to stop one more time, to listen, to give it more time, and to assume the best, instead of the worst.

Real Talk About Cloth Diapers Part II: What's it Really Like to Cloth Diaper?

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Wed, 04 Apr 2012 19:24:00 +0000

What's it really like to cloth diaper?

A Typical Cloth Diapering Day for My Family Looks Like This:

Baby wakes up in the morning and needs an immediate change. Figuring out the correct absorbency to keep baby comfortable throughout the night proves our biggest challenge. His cloth diaper will definitely be wet, much like a full morning disposable, so I need to make sure the urine is absorbed away from his skin throughout the night. I put the morning diaper in a hanging wet bag in the laundry room and make plans to wash diapers if the bag is full. Washing is usually more about remembering and planning. I can run them while I do other things, then toss them in the dryer. The most time-consuming part, like most laundry, is folding and storing them.

Kai is an older baby, so he goes through fewer diapers these days, but we still change him every 2 to 3 hours. When he pees only, I change the diaper, remove an insert if necessary, and drop it in my wet bag until wash day. If he poops, I rinse the diaper or dump the flushable liner, in the toilet. It's gross, but n my mind, diapering is gross. Potty training is often grosser. You have to deal with poop and pee no matter what type of diaper you choose to contain them.

Sure, rinsing off a poopy diaper takes a bit more time (although you are technically supposed to shake poop off of a disposable as well), but you are dealing with poop either way. Some parents choose to use flushable liners as their babies begin to eat solids or if they use formula (breast milk poo is water soluble), others use sprayers, and others dunk. We have done all three and it is now a very efficient process and routine to me. I still don't want to change poopy diapers, but I hated folding up a poopy disposable and finding a garbage can too.

If we go out, I make sure my diaper bag has a wet bag and I have some way to wet cloth wipes. I admit that I also use disposable wipes sometimes, toss them in the wash with my dirty diapers, then throw them away. I also prefer using flushable diaper liners when I go out (if I remember) to make changing poopy diapers simpler while traveling. I plan ahead with a few diapers if I'll be out for awhile because I don't have them tucked in a million places like I used to with disposables. They take a bit more room in my diaper bag, so I also had to adjust what I carry, but I've rarely had a no-diaper emergency.

If I did wash the day before, it's pretty likely that clean diapers are waiting to be stuffed and put away. I don't mind washing cloth diapers, but I'm lazy about stuffing them. If I had it to do again, I would definitely go with AIOs. Of course, there are many more affordable options All-in-Ones now. I prefer a simple storing and sorting system. The diapers that do not require covers - pockets, AIOs, AI2s - go in the top drawer. Fitteds, flats, and covers go in the second. I put my favorite diapers on top for easy access and always try to keep the diaper bag stocked. If I really planned ahead, I'd tuck one or two in the car and rotate them.

At the end of the day, cloth diapers are just a regular part of my routine. I don't dedicate a large amount of time to them and I feel like they are a practical choice for my lifestyle as a SAHM and freelance writer. When it comes to cloth diapers, convenience is a toss up and all about perspective. I think there's an exchange of conveniences with disposables and cloth. What do I mean? Disposables involve figuring out the best brand and size, making trips to the store, trying not to overbuy, finding a way to keep them from stinking up the house, and disposing of them. Cloth diapers involve finding the best brands and size, purchasing them, finding a way to keep them from stinking up the house between cleanings, laundering, and storing.

I love that I don't have to run to the store, that I can always run a load of diapers if I'm getting low, that I have back ups in less desirable diapers like prefolds. I will admit that I didn't find cloth diapering as convenient when I had two in diapers and my newborn went through them like crazy. This didn't last long, though, and proved a huge motivator to help my middle child potty train.

My Worst Cloth Diapering Day Looks Like This:

A really terrible cloth diapering day is like the one where you ran out of disposable diapers in the right size, but have a million of the wrong ones. Maybe your favorite brand suddenly doesn't work for baby anymore. You try temporarily using the wrong size and baby leaks out the top, sides, legs, or all three. Maybe you're enduring blowouts and post nap baby is covered head to toe in poo. You just finished washing him in the bath and he poos again. Your diaper pail is full and the garbage man doesn't come for 3 more days. Maybe you head to the park, forget a diaper, and have to borrow one from a friend.

The days where I wish I had a back up package of disposables are usually the ones when my favorite diapers are dirty. I need to do wash, but I'm crazy busy. I finally get a load going and realize I forgot to add the wet bag of soiled diapers hanging on the bathroom door. We head to the park, baby poops, and I realize my wet bags are all in the wash. I have to come up with a make shift solution to store the diaper until I get home to rinse it off.

I think the hardest days are when a newborn who goes through a ton of diapers and is difficult to find a good fit. You are washing diapers every day for a short time because you only have so many tiny diapers and/or you have two in cloth. The second worst days happen when your baby suddenly becomes a "heavy wetter" at night and figuring out the right combination to keep baby dry is a challenge. Third worst is when the baby is changing and/or is in between sizes and diapers are leaking until you get the right fit. I've been through all of these, though, and I've never regretted choosing cloth diapers for my family.

My Best Cloth Diapering Day Looks Like This:

On an ideal day, I cleaned the diapers yesterday, then folded and put them away last night while watching an episode of my favorite show on Netflix. The diaper bag is prepped and I have everything I need ready when I go out. Baby decides to poop at home, when it's Dad's turn, or not at all. I especially love days when baby can go with just a t-shirt and diaper, with the diaper doubling as an adorable fashion statement. On my very best days, I won't be trying to advocate for cloth, but someone will see us using them and want more information. Even better? When my husband is with us and he vouches for cloth because they save money and work with our lifestyle.

Most of all, the best days are ones when diapers are just diapers and I haven't given them much thought. At the end of the day, I feel like my family has saved money and make a positive environmental impact without added inconvenience or time requirements.

Next Up: Part III: Where Do I Start?

In Case You Missed It: Part I: Is Cloth Diapering Right for Me and My Family?

Real Talk About Cloth Diapers Part I: Is Cloth Diapering Right for Me and My Family?

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 14:26:00 +0000

For families curious about cloth diapering, there's no end to the supply of information. If you want to know about styles, brands, prices, how tos, and whys, you only need to type "cloth diapers" into Google. The enthusiasm (and sometimes even fanatiscism) is sincere and cloth diapering advocates are eager to introduce you to all that's wonderful about cloth diapering.

I count myself part of the cloth diapering community and I will happily talk about the benefits of cloth diapering - and talk and talk. Cloth diapering is an investment and a lifestyle change, however, and I think there's a tendency sometimes to focus on the fluffy bits and skim over the rest. I think one of the worst things that can happen is for someone to be talked into cloth and then become overwhelmed or frustrated by the reality. Cloth diapers mean adorable fluffy bums, money savings or boutique diapers, and caring for the environment, but they also mean laundry, preparation, and putting an initial chunk of money into something your kid poops in.

As I consider my experiences with cloth diapering - researching, testing, and trial by error - and the conversations I've had with friends about diapers, I think there are 3 primary questions families considering cloth diapering want answered:

1. Is cloth diapering right for me and my family (or Do I have to be a natural parent/environmentalist/enthusiast to cloth diaper)?
3. What is cloth diapering really like?
4. Where do I start?

I hope to answer these questions in a 3 part series, sharing my honest opinions and real experiences. My biased opinion is that cloth diapers are a great choice for many families, but it should be an informed choice. I hope this can act as a helpful resource for those overwhelmed by information, uncertain where to start, or unsure if cloth diapers are a realistic choice for their lifestyle.

Real Talk About Cloth Diapers Part I: Is Cloth Diapering Right for Me and My Family?

Who Uses Cloth Diapers?
The diversity among cloth diapering families might surprise you. There's clearly a stereotype for cloth diapering families, but I think many families defy it. Families in countries across the world, with varying income levels, and multiple motivations cloth diaper. You don't have to be an uber-environmentalist, a penny pincher, rich, crafty, or even enthusiastic about diapers to use cloth diapers. You do need to decide what your overriding motivators are and if cloth diapering feels like a positive lifestyle change for your family.

Cloth Diapering Might Be Right for Your Family If...
1. You want to save money over time on diapers and can make an investment of a few hundred to a thousand dollars, depending on your choices.
2. You have access to affordable laundry facilities and could wash diapers 2 to 3 times per week.
3. Your are committed to the environment and you are concerned about the environmental costs of manufacturing, packaging, distributing, and disposing of disposable diapers.
4. Your financial circumstances are leading you to reuse disposable diapers and you would be willing to hand wash and line dry basic flats and covers to provide clean diapers for your baby.
5. You could qualify to receive cloth diapers on loan or by donation from organizations such as Giving Diapers, Giving Hope, The New Cloth Diaper Foundation, or the Cotton Babies Love Program.
6. You dislike dealing with stinky disposables in diaper bins and garbage cans.
7. You have sewing skills and could make your own custom cloth diapers.
8. You like supporting small businesses, WAHMS, US or Canadian made products, and businesses that value fair labor practices.
9. Price is the most important factor for you and you will purchase products manufactured overseas to receive the lowest price.
10. You like the idea of being independent from regularly purchasing disposable diapers.
11. You would consider cloth diapering part time or using a hybrid system, even if it lessened your cost savings.
12. You've potty trained a toddler and dealing with cloth will seem like no big deal now.
13. You enjoy reusing, recycling, and repurposing. You can see yourself reselling or donating your diapers when you're done with them.
14. You like the idea of using the money you've saved on diapers to make a down payment, save for a rainy day, or purchase other items for your family.
15. You want a simple diapering system - diapers are just for catching poop and pee after all.
16. You love the look of cloth diapers and would appreciate them as a fashion accessory.
17. You plan on having 1 child and would resell your diapers.
18. You plan on having multiple children, could reuse your diapers with each child, and multiply your savings.
19. You like being part of something grassroots and putting your money where your mouth is.
20. You get satisfaction from doing something that feels right for your family, even if it takes a bit of time and effort up front.
21. You are willing to support your partner in cloth diapering because it is important to him or her.
22. You would enjoy being a part of an online or local supportive community and meeting friends with mutual interests through cloth diapering.
23. You are willing to take a bit of time to decide if cloth diapering is right for you by either visiting a store in person, receiving help online, renting a cloth diaper trial, or doing a combination of all three.

Cloth Diapering Might Not Be Right for Your Family If...
1. Your highest priority is convenience of disposables and don't feel that the conveniences of cloth - no need to run to the store, no overbuying sizes, diapers always on hand - outweigh those of disposables.
2. You would prefer to spend more money over a several years rather than make an initial investment in cloth diapers.
3. You don't have access to laundry facilities or the cost of using a laundromat would be a deterrent.
4. Your childcare provider is the right fit for your child, but they don't want to use cloth, and you aren't interested in pushing the issue.
5. You don't have the support of your partner, even after doing a cd trial.
6. You aren't motivated to ditch disposables by money savings or environmental arguments.
7. You love the look of disposables and think cloth diapers can't compete.
8. Taking a bit of extra time with a soiled diaper isn't something you're willing to do.
9. You wouldn't want to make adjustments to accommodate cloth diapers and accessories in your diaper bag.
10. You don't want to bother learning how to care for cloth diapers.
11. Adding learning about and caring for cloth diapers to your busy schedule feels like a burden your family.
12. You don't want to bother with a cloth diaper trial or deciding on a new diapering system.
13. You don't get all the fuss - who wants to spend their time on diapers?

I Fit into Both of These Categories...
Don't panic. We all do. If you gave these lists to my husband and I and asked us to circle all that apply, we'd fit into many of them - even some that conflict. The trick is to figure out which ones are the most accurate representations of your views and rank them in order of importance.

For my family, it looks a bit like this:

Me	Him
#1. I am concerned about the environmental impact of manufacturing, distributing, and disposing of disposable diapers.	#1. I want to save money on diapers and I’m willing to make an initial investment.
#2. I like putting my money where my mouth is.	#2. I value convenience.
#3. I plan on having multiple children and want to multiply my savings by reusing cloth diapers.	#3. I dealt with potty training, change diapers anyway, so I can deal with poopy cds.
#4. I get satisfaction from doing something that feels right for my family, even if it takes a bit of time and effort up front.	#4. I want a simple diapering system – they’re just for catching poop and pee after all.
#5. I value convenience.	#5. I plan on having multiple children and want to multiply my savings by reusing cloth diapers.
#6. I like supporting small businesses and WAHMS.	#6. I am willing to support my wife in cloth diapering because it is important to her.
#7. I have access to laundry facilities and would be willing to learn about caring for diapers and care for them.

This list could go on and on pros of cloth diapering outweighed the cons for us. I'll be honest - some days I just want to grab some disposables and not deal with cloth diapers. I am overwhelmingly satisfied with my choice to cd, though.

If you've completed your list and you want to know more about cloth diapering, I'll take on question #2 next: What's Cloth Diapering really like?

Mommy Sabotoge

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 18:34:00 +0000

You know those moments when your kids are playing quietly in the other room, the entire house is at peace, and you are enjoying a little mommy time? Then this niggling little doubt enters your head and you start to wonder. Is everyone okay? Are they destroying something? Why is it so quiet? You decide to go investigate, only to discover that all is well - until they see you and your quiet time is over.

That's Mommy Sabotage.

Or those times when your toddler is miraculously eating something green and forking casserole into his mouth without complaint? You're so thrilled, you jump the gun and tell him he'll get dessert. Suddenly all he can think about is dessert and he pushes the unfinished meal aside.

Mommy sabotage.

Last night, I had a classic Mommy Sabotage moment. Kai, who is now 10 months, told me very vocally that he wanted to nurse and go to sleep. I finished putting the older kids to bed (and they went to sleep without a peep), then snuggled up with baby. He finished eating, then stopped to grin at me, rosy cheeked, a bit of milk sneaking down the corners of his mouth. I swaddled him, put him down in his crib awake, then left the room.

Something odd happened. He didn't complain for a minute or two like usual. I didn't have to transfer him to his swing to start out the night. He just slept. I enjoyed the first entirely peaceful bedtime of a long week. My husband's been away on a business trip and either the kids or the baby (or both) have struggled at bedtime every night.

I enjoyed a bit of tv, then headed to bed, unsure what to make of the luxurious quiet. Then my mind started to conjure up potential problems. I'm a mom of 3, but I still irrationally think "Is he breathing" when they are quiet for longer stretches than normal. I pushed those thoughts away, then I thought of all the things he tries putting in his mouth every day. Did he choke? How is that even possible, since I nursed him right before he went to sleep. This is where I need my husband to say, "He's fine. Go to sleep."

I tried to talk myself out of it, but in classic Mommy Sabotage style, I tiptoed to his room, slowly opened the creaking door and peeked in. His face was pressed oddly against the railing, I didn't hear him breathing, so I touched his hand. Baby rolled over and made a complaining sound. I rushed out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar to avoid any additional creaking.

Certain I'd ruined a perfectly good night's sleep, I paused to listen again. Blessed silence. An angel of mercy preserved me just this once and I rushed to bed, relieved, and enjoyed my first uninterrupted sleep in months.

When will I ever learn?

That Elusive Movie Magic

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 19 Mar 2012 17:06:00 +0000

I want to like movies made out of Dr. Suess books, but I always feel like they're missing some elusive magic. I understand that a rhyming book that takes 5 minutes maximum to read needs additional material to work in a movie. Why can't it feel like something classic, delightful, and endearing like it's muse, though?

I want to watch a tribute to the genius of Dr. Suess, wonderfully complex, but simple enough for a child to comprehend. Animated movies have too much of the common denominator these days and not enough small-child wonder. You don't need to modernize Dr. Suess or Winnie the Pooh. The source material is gold.

We surprised our kids with a trip to The Lorax movie Saturday after they endured some furniture stores with us. The movie was okay and the kids enjoyed themselves, but I bet they won't remember much about it in a few days. As I watched, I couldn't help feeling that the movie was too self aware. My kids don't see Dr. Suess's creations as wacky and disconnected from the "real world," but part of a separate world that they can immerse themselves in.

Also, while listening to "How Bad Can it Be," I thought of the 70 plus products that now have Lorax tie ins and it left a bad taste in my mouth. It's great that the studios wanted to send a message about conservation, but it's sort of hard to hear over all of the Lorax endorsements. If I wanted to teach my kids this message, I'd be better off simply reading them the book or seeking out a Scholastic video version.

I know the hope of these movies is to reach a broad age range and to entertain mom and dad as well. After all, if we remember getting a good laugh, we're more likely to buy those toys and happy meals, right?

Watching my 3 and 5 year-old watch movies, however, it's apparent to me that Hollywood is clueless about the story lines that really grab their attention or the characters that draw them back time and time again. They own multiple box office hits, but they like the brightly decorated movie themed shoes and pjs more than the film.

Here are a few things they don't need to make a film memorable:

* Characters with bad indigestion, gas, or excessive burping.

* Characters that reference adult themes that constantly go over their heads.

* A dead mother or the world ending to create drama.

* Good versus evil dramatized to the extremes.

* Worn out stereotypes and heavy-handed irony.

* Language or behavior that I have to explain to them after the film ends and encourage them not to emulate.

Here are a few things they do need to make a film memorable:

* Characters they can relate to. Kids like them with simple questions and problems they face every day.

* Examples of characters using their imagination and getting caught up in worlds they create.

* Drama that they can relate to - A scary teacher, a lost bike, a broken toy, getting lost, feeling afraid.

* Characters that broaden their perspective, defy stereotypes, and encourage them to respect others and the world around them.

* Dialogue and acting that doesn't depend on the lowest common denominator for a good laugh.

* Great source material that honors the innocence, imaginations, and interests of children. Don't try to fix what's not broken. I could watch the animated classic Winnie the Pooh stories repeatedly - there's no need to modernize them, add an evil villan, or put in a fart joke.

What do my kids return to time and again? Real stories that involve real questions kids face, with characters that use ingenuity and imagination. Some of their favorite videos are just moderately animated books from Scholastic and Shelley Duvall Bedtime Stories. Lucky for me, I'd rather watch these or a good PBS show with them any day.

The Opportunity to Choose

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 18:20:00 +0000

We relaxed in the living room, three moms chatting while their daughters enjoyed a "tea party" on a school holiday. It was a rare experience for me as I sat with two working moms and talked about life, parenting, marriage, and being a mom. Since play dates usually happen during the day, most of my associations happen with other stay at home moms, so it was a treat to hang out with these ladies.

We touched on our different choices and covered the usual territory, treading lightly. We did a bit of the "I don't know how you do it" complimenting, with no desire or intention to debate the pros and cons of staying home vs working. There wasn't any tension because we all owned our choices and enjoyed motherhood. As always, I loved the mom time, laughing together and commiserating on the craziness of parenting while the kids entertained themselves in the background.

Thinking back on this experience and considering my own life recently, one thing strikes me as important: we each had the opportunity to choose our lifestyle. We faced challenges and dilemmas, but we had choices. You can debate the stay at home mom vs the working mom issue a thousand ways, but the ability to choose without serious impediments is such a gift. Deciding if/when/how you will stay home/work outside the home is a pretty white collar dilemma for many of us.

My family isn't wealthy by any means, but I am so grateful to be in a position where I was able to make choices about education, marriage, parenthood, and working with relative ease. I grew up in a family where my parents encouraged my education, told me I was smart and talented, and encouraged my success. My parents taught me the value of family, helped me to understand how an education could help both me and my own family one day. I always wanted to go to college because I wanted to learn more, but I also understood the practicality of learning skills so I could be independent and take care of myself.

I married after college and my degree allowed me to support myself, then my husband while he completed school. When the time felt right to have a baby, I wanted to stay home, but my husband wasn't finished with school. My mother-in-law cared for Ella while I returned to work and I hated leaving her. I decided to stay home, something I always wanted to do if I had children, and my little family lived with my mother for a year.

We had support for our choices. We never lived on two incomes. We knew what we wanted for our family and we had the ability to choose it without great difficulty. Since that time, I've found opportunities to pursue my interests and make some additional income for our family from home. We were and are so blessed.

Other women are faced with challenges that make these choices more difficult. The option to stay home isn't there because they are single or need to finish their education or they provide the main income for their family. Other women stay home, but want to pursue an education or work outside the home. For some, the high cost of childcare is prohibitive.

My life isn't perfect and my choices aren't for everyone, but today I'm so grateful for the opportunity to choose.

Lost in a Good Book

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Tue, 13 Mar 2012 15:46:00 +0000

"Let me read this book to you, Mom." This phrase ranks right up there between "I love you" and "Look what I did without being asked" in my book. When this little sweetheart brings me a book and not only reads, but comprehends, and reads with inflection, I can't contain my excitement.

We started reading to Ella as soon as we brought her home from the hospital, introducing her to Berenstein Bears and The Poky Little Puppy long before she could engage in the story line. She would sit in our laps as we rocked in the chair, listening to the cadence of our voices, sitting through multiple stories, quieting down when she felt fussy.

Reading with Grandma

As she grew, so did our collection of books. My baby gift to Tim for our first born? A collection of books he loved as a child. One of the most precious gifts from my Mom? A box of books from mine. Story time became something we treasured and we were so proud to have a little girl who shared our adoration of books.

I'm loathe to admit it, but Ella's love of books even meant that the worst consequence for bad behavior meant two stories instead of three at bedtime. Only recently has this threat lost some of it's potency. Her response, "Fine. I'll just read to myself."

We're beginning to dive into Chapter books together, reading about Ramona, discovering the adventures of The Mouse and the Motorcycle, and even enjoying The Hobbit. I've discovered my husband has a hidden talent: His deep, rich tone makes for delightful storytelling and I find myself wanting to follow where the story goes next as he makes it come alive.

Reading to her brothers.

"What does this say, Ella?"

I love watching my daughter get lost in a story, sitting open mouthed, wide eyed, and gasping in anticipation. She treasures the words, savors the story, and imagines her way into new worlds. At 5, she's unlocked the ability to escape the moment and invent new worlds. I can't wait to share my favorite stories with her as she grows and I'll never grow tired of hearing, "Let me read this story to you, Mom."

Modified Momma Creations AI2 Cloth Diaper Review and Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Fri, 09 Mar 2012 16:35:00 +0000

One of the best reasons to follow a WAHM business on facebook is for the pictures. Their awesome albums are a virtual display of creativity, hard work, and one of a kind goodness. I especially enjoy browsing photos of handmade cloth diapers because the fabric choices are as varied as the customers.

Nikki at Modified Momma Creations has especially eye-catching dipes because she offers a wide selection of vintage fabrics, repurposing sheets and tracking down rare patterns. I discovered Nikki's shop after building a stash of diapers I "need," but a part of me wishes I could start over again and diaper my babies with custom vintage diapers made of adorable Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, Harry Potter, and Pound Puppies.

When I saw this diaper from Nikki, though, it felt simply serendipitous.

My husband and I were talking about how much we'd love some video game themed diapers and this little Pac Man inspired minky dream appeared on my screen. I decided to order one because the idea of Kai toddling around in the summer with a t-shirt and this fun diaper proved irresistible. I also liked the idea of adding another One Size AI2 diaper to my stash because they are convenient and tend to dry quickly.

The diaper arrived quickly in the mail and I thought it was even cuter in person. I love the dotted minky that comes standard on the front half of all custom diapers and I think the yellow "Pac Man" minky up against the ghost fabric is genius. We have used the diaper multiple times through several washings and only experienced one leak, most likely due to my not figuring out the right fit on my long, skinny baby initially. Once I got the fit down, this diaper became one of my go-to diapers and I slip it into my diaper bag whenever it's clean. My Modified Momma Creations diaper convenient, takes up less space than a pocket in a diaper bag, plus it's a terrific talking piece for cloth diapers.

I don't have a lot of experience with minky, so I was afraid it might create extra bulk, but the diaper is relatively thin, considering. As an AI2, the diaper has the benefits of an AIO with no stuffing, but dries faster because the insert snaps to the diaper. As far as function goes with this diaper, my favorite feature by far is the Zorb insert, a deceptively slim fabric that has proven to be a workhorse. Since our baby is older and we're working on sleeping through the night, I depend on wool and fitteds, but we tried this diaper multiple times for naps with success.

I've struggled with the sizing on some One Size diapers with my lean baby, so I also appreciate how this diaper has a double row of snaps, offering an adjustable fit for waist and legs. I also like how the snap backs are hidden behind the inner diaper layer and away from baby's delicate skin. The diapers inner buttersuede is moderately soft, but you might consider upgrading to inner minky or bamboo velour for added luxury. It's also helpful to note that the one size diaper on the smallest setting hides most of the minky and a large character might be better suited for a sized diaper so it isn't obscured by size adjustment.

These custom diapers are in the mid to high range for pricing, but are competitive with other mass produced diapers in standard colors. It's important to keep in mind that the cost of obtaining rare prints is part of the price and you can purchase a semi-custom for as low as $18, depending on your selections. Nikki is also currently gaging interest in working with co-ops on her facebook page, so if you would like to purchase diapers this way, be sure to let her know.

Overall, this well-made, custom diaper makes me smile and reminds me of so many of the reasons I love cloth. It provides the opportunity for me to save money, support a creative WAHM, make an eco-friendly choice for my family, and put my baby in something adorable!

To purchase one of Nikki's creations, visit Modified Momma Creations. How would you like to win a Modified Mommas Creations diaper? Nikki is generously offering one The Inquisitive Mom reader their own AI2 diaper! You specify boy, girl, or gender neutral and she will surprise you with the print! To enter, fill out the rafflecopter form below.

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Pursuing My Passions

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 16:34:00 +0000

Free Business Cards by Vistaprint

I'm determined to dream big this year. Most people won't notice a change in my left side bar, but I removed my Scentsy button today. While selling Scentsy brought some extra income to my family for a time and gave me some small business experience, I'm not passionate enough about it. So, I decided to close my Scentsy business to dedicate more time in 2012 to two things I am passionate about: My family and writing. I'm also learning more about fair trade, a new interest I discovered in 2011.

While doing my taxes, I realized that the amount of time and energy I put into my business didn't justify the small amount I earned. If I wanted to be truly successful, I needed to invest myself more fully. I recognized that I preferred writing stories about fundraisers or prize winning pigs to ordering product or making cold calls. Every job has less glamorous aspects. The trick is finding one where the things you love make the dull parts worth it. For me, this is the case with writing. Every story can't be big or exciting, but the challenge and reward of bringing a topic alive is always there.

I had the opportunity to help some emerging entrepreneurs build website content recently. They invited me to help tell their story and write a product description. The project included all of the elements I love about writing; The opportunity to engage with people, learn about new and interesting things, brainstorm ideas, and play with words to convey a message that engages readers. This small project at Puro Spring Water inspired me to push beyond my complacency and ask myself some important questions about my career goals.

Inspired, I updated my resume, uploaded it to LinkedIn, and changed the footer on my emails.Then I ordered business cards with the title "Freelance Writer" and I a small thrill went through me when they arrived. This year, I will continue writing here on my blog and for the local newspaper, but I'm seeking new opportunities as well. The challenges of writing for a variety of forums interests me - from web content, to social media management, to guest articles, to newspaper writing, and even advertising. The trick will be pursuing my goals with confidence, finding balance, and pushing myself to be proactive.

What are your dreams for 2012? Are you thinking big? Share it here and let's check in with each other and provide support and encouragement for the year to come!

Less Smartphone. More Blogging. More Living.

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 17:13:00 +0000

My smartphone is my nemesis. The internet, and facebook especially, are always at my fingertips. They tease me with the ease of "just checking" and eliminating boredom with the click of a button. With my smartphone, I never miss out on an update, a giveaway, a sale, or the mundane details of the lives of people I haven't seen in ten years. I can snap a hundred photos of my family, upload them, then enjoy the instant gratification of "likes" and comments.

I am definitely not anti-technology. I do feel like my smartphone is changing my online experience, however, and not always for the best. My time online used to feel precious and I didn't want to waste it. Sitting at a computer means putting your back to a room and purposefully separating from "real life." Your kids notice and they demand your attention. But your phone is sneaky. It tempts you from your pocket, allows you to glance at this or that while playing with the kids or eating.

It hit me recently, however, that I hate to look up and see my husband, face down, using his phone. Again. How must my kids feel about my phone face all day? My smartphone has tipped that delicate balance I'd created between blogging, professional writing, facebook, and life. Plus, reading and accessing blogs isn't as convenient as just popping onto facebook or playing a game, so I do less of what I really love online for the sake of convenience.

I miss the blogging community that is at the roots of my starting this blog. Facebook makes me feel jaded, over run by businesses and bigger commercial blogs that I've liked along the way. I want to have conversations again, comment, then discuss through emails. I want to be a good blogging friend, to write for readers who aren't primarily interested in giveaways.

My goal for 2012 is for quality, not quantity, time online. I am going to get my face out of that phone if it kills me. The "I don't have a home phone, I need it in my pocket" excuse isn't going to cut it. I will blog, visit new blogs, comment, write, and then get away from the computer and just live (and then maybe grab a pen and paper and write about it during quiet moments).

If my blogging mission doesn't bring me your way and you want to be a part of this, please let me know. Also know that I am visiting, but not always commenting. But I'm going to do better because I love discovering the genius of other blogs, laughing, crying, connecting, and being a part of a community.

The Older They Get, the Less I Know

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 27 Feb 2012 21:14:00 +0000

The more experience I gain as a parent, the more I realize that this simply means I panic less about what I don't know.

I sent a message to a friend last week asking for parenting advice. She's a mom of 1. I'm a mom of 3. She's also done a ton of research about natural parenting and is the mother of an adorable, happy little girl. This is my third time with a baby, but his personality is uniquely his own and I wanted some new ideas for addressing late night comfort feedings without resorting to crying it out. I'm actually fairly comfortable and confident parenting a baby by now, but I still run into my fair share of conundrums and surprises. The main difference: I spend less time fretting and uncertain about it all (although I do sometimes do the "breathing check" when baby mysteriously sleeps for long stretches) and trust my instincts more.

When it comes to parenting my older children, however, I often feel ill-equipped and unprepared. You need new parenting skills as your children grow and you're developing them on the spot. The old methods of distraction and incentives no longer work like they used to. As kids grow older, they remember everything. They also push boundaries. And push. And push. And push. Consequences have to be consistent and it often feels like sticking to your guns and taking away privileges such as tv and play dates are also a punishment for you.

Some days I feel fairly capable as a mom and there are even those rare days where I am elated by success. There's nothing like the first time your baby sleeps through the night, conquering potty training, seeing your little girl write "I love you", or watching your children play together in harmony. Other days (and weeks) I feel like a colossal failure, temperamental, frustrated, impatient, and uncertain about what to do next. As your children grow and gain autonomy, you have to quickly learn how to adapt. What worked yesterday has no guarantee of success today.

I have a few new things we're trying and a few to update about on the blog, namely our infamous toy room emptying and our Choose the Right/Choose the Wrong jars. I hope to write about those over the next week or so if you're interested.

All of this musing about parenting, combined with my kids suddenly growing too tall for all of their pants, is making me realize that our family is growing beyond toddler and babyhood. I think it's time for me to expand my blogging community a bit. Any recommendations for moms like me who write about the ups and downs of parenting kids of different ages? I'm not necessarily looking for professional blogs, but other moms to connect with.

Bamboosa BambooBaby Clothing Review & Giveaway!

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 16:36:00 +0000

Have you ever selected an outfit for your baby because the outer fabric felt so soft that you couldn't wait to put it against your little one's delicate skin, only to open it and discover that the inner fabric was scratchy and stiff? This bizarre feature of baby clothing has often bothered me and I always slip my hand inside a cozy looking sleeper or soft little shirt to see if it's a mirage before purchasing it.

When our little Recycle Worms Set from Bamboosa, the first thing I did was sneak my hand inside to feel the inner fabric. Bamboosa's soft little t-shirt and pants set with their cute eco-friendly logo didn't disappoint. Not only were the clothes soft against baby's skin, they felt downright luxurious. I have a few bamboo fitted diapers and I'd heard the benefits of bamboo flooring, but this adorable outfit piqued my curiosity about bamboo clothing.

It turns out that bamboo fabric is soft, lightweight, and cozy. Unlike many traditional fabrics used in baby's clothes, bamboo is ideal for baby's skin because it absorbs 3 to 4 times better than cotton. This means that bamboo clothes are great year-round because they keep skin comfortable and cool in hot weather and help baby stay warmer in cold temperatures. In addition to being thermal regulating, bamboo clothing is anti-static, odor resistant, and has natural UV protection.

I selected a medium set for Kai, hoping it would fit his long, lean frame. The outfit is loose, but comfortable, and the elastic waistband pants provide a great, flexible fit over cloth diapers. I wouldn't normally pick the natural bamboo color for baby clothing, but I liked the look of it once I put it on Kai. In addition to the adorable recycle worm design, Bamboosa also offers other fun prints such as the Veggie Me Set, and the newborn Panda Love Set, with it's coordinating cayenne red pants. I also appreciated how the bamboo clothing didn't require any special changes to my normal washing routine of cold water wash and medium dry cycle.

The Bamboosa baby product line extends beyond clothing to washcloths, blankets, bibs, towels, and soaps. The price range is comparable to full price items at national children's clothing stores. When you purchase Bamboosa BambooBaby products, however, you are supporting a business where the items are made in America using sustainable, renewable bamboo that is organically grown without chemicals or pesticide. You also support a company that practices what it preaches, including recycling and directing customers to other like-minded businesses. I will definitely return to Bamboosa in the future to purchase unique, eco-friendly gifts.

To learn more about Bamboosa and to purchase products, visit www.bamboosa.com.

How would you like to win a Recycle Worm Set in the size of your choice? Bamboosa has generously offered a set for one lucky The Inquisitive Mom reader! To enter, simply click "read more" to access the Rafflecopter form if it is not showing automatically.

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Spring

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Wed, 15 Feb 2012 15:16:00 +0000

I long for Spring. Is there anything more delicious than a pink-cheeked child swinging giddily in the breeze, a mass of muddy hands and grass-stained knees, face smeared with a combination of dirt and sticky snacks?

Spring is more than a preview for summer, when the unforgiving sun can sometimes make bare feet impossible and playing outdoors in the peak of the day can be almost unbearable.

Winter teases us with hints of Spring far too early this year. In between snowfalls, we peak our heads outside to discover 50, then 60 degree days. It's 3 in the afternoon and we've bundled up to swing, slide, and simply run free, only to shed layers, until the hours sneak past and the sun sets, taking the warmth with it.

The kids love the flutter of snowfall and hot cocoa to warm their chilled fingers, but Christmas and Valentine's Day are now passed, and we'll all be happy to wish winter a Bon Voyage.

Come Spring, baby will be crawling, eager to walk, chasing his siblings in the cool crisp grass. Butterflies, bugs, and dandelions will be new discoveries, delighting his senses, introducing him to a brand new world.

Until Spring comes, we'll make the best of our winter days, cuddling close, rushing out to enjoy white flakes on our tongues. We'll enjoy today, knowing the sweet promise of Spring will soon be fulfilled.

Valentines - Fancy Nancy Style!

noreply@blogger.com (Mindy) — Mon, 13 Feb 2012 16:11:00 +0000

Valentine's Day runs a close second to Christmas for our little girl - The hearts! All that pink! Candy! How can she resist? As soon as we take down the tree, Ella is thinking ahead toward Valentine's Day. She can't wait to get started on creating little love notes for everyone she knows.

Ella feels a kinship with Fancy Nancy with her love of the glamorous, girly, and fancy, so she pulled out Nancy's Heart to Heart before January even came to a close. Bree and Nancy adore (adore is fancy for really love) making Valentines, of course, and Ella simply had to follow in their footsteps. I took my inspiration from the book and decided we'd make some old school Valentines.

I ran to the store and returned home with glitter pens, 3 kinds of ribbon (with sparkles, of course!), construction paper, stickers, and doilies. No Pinterest instructions needed here - just our imaginations, a glue stick, and some objects of our affection. These simple purchases were well worth money - Ella has dedicated herself to Valentine making for about 2 weeks now. She can't get enough of it.

This year is a bit different as well because Ella can write her own notes, which makes the whole process even more exciting. Her teacher - perpetually planning ahead - had the children creating Valentine's bags two weeks in advance, then told them a week in advance that they could bring in Valentine's for their friends. Needless to say, I was unprepared. We had to run out that night and buy Ella's Valentines. We accidentally chose the suckers you can write on directly. This proved a challenge for Kindergarten hands, so she brought those to school the next day (she couldn't wait to add them to her cards) and has labored over little hand cut hearts with a note for each friend during the week since, bringing a small batch to school each day.

I wish these pictures included lovingly made fabric colored baskets to organize and keep all of our art supplies, like my mom had when I was little. While it is a big, jumbled, messy mass of fun instead, the creative process is a love note to my mom who inspired the idea to throw "project ideas" to the wind and just have fun with a few simple supplies.

No complicated crafts here - just seeing what happens when you fold a piece of paper in half, put glitter hearts on one side, then press it down.

Finding out what happens when you just start gluing.

Discovering new uses for ribbon.

Or seeing the sweet nothings your daughter lovingly creates one at a time for each of her classmates.

I can't wait to head out tonight at bedtime and sneak in a few Valentine's Day surprises for tomorrow morning!