The Intellectual Masturbater

I'm Moving

2006-06-07T10:40:00.000-04:00

I'm in the process of moving this blog to an as yet undisclosed location. Mostly likely somewhere in the mountains of Wyoming in a bunker deep, deep in the ground. Stay tuned for updates...

It's 06-06-06

2006-06-06T09:12:00.000-04:00

The "date of the beast" is today. And hopefully, you're not hexakosioihexekontahexaphobic. If you're one of the lucky few who are satanists, then you get to celebrate by sacrificing the proverbial goat or a young child. And then proceeding to use its blood to bathe in. Or whatever it is that satanists do. I'm just kidding here - don't want to offend any satanists. Or maybe because they're satanists, they compliment each other by offending. Or maybe not.

The date has not escaped the capitalistic sort (hey - even satanists have to eat!) and the re-make of The Omen is being released today, starring Liev Schrieber. Also, the heavy metal band Slayer has announced today as a "National Day of Slayer" (in response to the US's National Day of Prayer) and have all kinds of merchandise associated with it.

So what are the real satanists up to today? Well, Rev. John D Allee, the founder of the First Church of Satan in Salem, (not to be confused with the original Church of Satan, from which they split 12 years ago) says:

"I plan to take Lillee, my High Priestess, to the opening of The Omen movie," says the self-styled Dark Pope. "Then it's out for dinner."

Hmm. A nice quiet evening there. How boring. I'm sure the Temple of Set (another Church of Satan spinoff) is doing something more exciting. Here's what Louise Renard, priestess and assistant to the executive director (of the Temple of Set, not the movie), had to say:

"There is nothing significant about that day or that number" she says. "Unless the new Omen movie turns out to be better than expected."

That's it? Man, these satanists are growing soft these days. Whatever happened to the full moon sacrifices and the blood-letting and all of that good stuff? You know what? It's probably the Americans who are boring. I'm sure the London Church of Satan is up to something exciting.

Meanwhile, Vexen Crabtree, the Minister of the London Church of Satan, plans to go to one of the alternative clubs that are celebrating 06/06/06. "My official take on it is that 666 is really only a Christian number," he explains. "But any excuse for a party is a good one."

Jesus Christ! Oh -er- I mean, what the hell! There's got to be at least *one* satanist doing something that's more attuned to the stereotype. Wait, what about New Age Christian writer Tom Chase?

Tom Chase...has used astrology and the Bible to calculate that the antichrist will emerge, followed by an asteroid collision and within a year or two the battle of Armageddon.

All right! Now, we're talking! So who's the antichrist, Mr. Chase?

The antichrist, according to Chase, is Vladimir Putin.

What??! Well, hang on a second, he *is* kind of ugly. Even reptilian, if you will. Ok, that works. I think Mr. Chase has performed adequately well and lived up to the stereotype. Had to take a christian to do it, though. Whatever happened to a good, old-fashioned child sacrifice? It's MTV, I tell you. It's made everyone's brains soft!

Read more about it here at the BBC Magazine.

The Only Difference is: They Make Castration Look Good

2006-06-05T18:28:00.000-04:00

It looks like India's hijras or eunuchs are finally figuring out ways to improve their image. For those of you who don't know - a eunuch is a castrated male. And, believe me, as a child, when you're accosted by them, you can be deeply traumatized. From Things Asian (the above link):

Caked in cheap rouge, kajal, powder and lipstick, they dress in ill-fitting blouses and colourful saris in a grotesque parody of womanhood as they roam the busy marketplaces in groups, terrorizing pedestrians, hustling for ten or a hundred rupees. These are not your average beggars on the street. With male voices shouting expletives, palms meeting crossways in a trademark clap, they prey on susceptible passersby, who will part with their cash sooner than be treated to the sight of the group collectively lifting up their saris and flashing castrated genital areas right in their faces.

And as you get older, and more thick-skinned, you are no longer "terrorized" by them, but just plain irritated at their obnoxious behavior. And to further confound things, if you refuse them money when they come to beg to you then they start screaming expletives at the top of their voices. And, Bombay eunuchs know expletives that would make your average dhobi blush. Man, can they curse! They, of course, use this strategy so you'll be embarrased into eventually giving them some money.

Sometimes, they will come and sit next to you in a public bus and start harrasing you for money. It's a good strategy, because in a crowded bus, there's no place to escape. This happened to a particularly thick-skinned friend of mine once. The eunuch , of course, sat down and then proceeded to ask him for money. And, as is the usual tactic, (s)he started to touch him. At first by tapping his shoulder and then going on to stroke his thigh. My friend, definitely not the meek sort, decided to turn the hijra's strategy back onto him. He promptly stood up and started screaming expletives at him/her loudly, all the while proclaiming that (s)he was making passes at him. The hijra, was shocked (never having had to face his/her own crude behavior, I guess), that (s)he was basically rendered ~~impotent~~ powerless and (s)he more or less scrambled to get off at the next stop. If (s)he had not done that, then the people in the bus would probably have pummelled him/her. Bombayites, you see, just need an excuse to get their frustrations out. It's the nature of the city - frustrated, fast-paced, always hungry, always wanting more. Well, there's a good side too, but that's for another post.

So, you get the idea of how obnoxious these eunuchs can get. These days, political correctness has not escaped even them, because they no longer wish to be called hijras, but prefer the term aruvani. And from this BBC article, it seems they want to tone down the level of obnoxious-ness.

"If necessary we will dress down, tone down our speech, even desist from the commonly misunderstood practice of 'clapping' and negotiate with people in work and social settings."

That's definitely a good thing. Being of the academic persuasion however, I am burdened by my conscience to be objective, and the onus of presenting both sides of the story lies on me. So, despite being personally traumatized by them on numerous occasions, I have to say that they are a misunderstood bunch. To the best of my knowledge, they're supposed to be holy and there's even a temple in central India which an uncle of mine - a sexologist - visited, where they peform the castration rituals. Of course, the only way you're allowed to get in there, is if you're a participant! My uncle refused and not too long afterwards, he had his third child...you do the math.

Anyhow, there are several resources on the Indian eunuchs online. You can click here, or here, or even here. There's even a Hijra Research Blog on Blogger here. Enjoy.

Thirty Days: A Poem of (what else?) Love

2006-06-03T17:37:00.000-04:00

“Thirty days and counting,” he says to himself, aloud.
“Thirty days for better (or worse).
“It’s the uncertainty that’s intolerable.
“Can I put the whole thing in reverse?”

He’s panicking again, his nerves are really terse.
He’s not being rational,
Since she’s angelic and sharp,
And unwaveringly loyal.

“Can I really do this?” he says with sadness ample,
“I feel I’m sinking in quicksand!
“Of course, I could never tell her,
“She would never understand.”

Oh my friend, please don’t crash-land!
You still have thirty days.
Enough time for it to sink in.
And get out of your haze.

“I’ll have to change my wayward ways,
“If I want this thing to work,
“If I want her to happy,
“And not think I’m a jerk!”

Hey, you may even have to do some housework,
And occasionally clean up.
But at least you’ll have a partner.
In time, she may bring you a little pup.

“Thanks for lending your ear to me, brother,
“My outlook has improved.
“Without your helping hand
“I would have been unmoved!”

You’re welcome, I’m glad we grooved,
You worried me back there.
Didn’t think you’d make it,
Thought you’d pull out all your hair.

Let this be a lesson to all out there,
What I’ve posted to my blog,
Think twice before you get married,
Because he is just buying a dog.

Inspired by recent blog posts I read on Sepia Mutiny about love, marriage and spitting. On the other hand, I think this person took the post way too seriously.

Se7en

2006-05-31T10:52:00.000-04:00

Started teaching again last night. So far so good. I've decided to blog about the teaching on a regular basis now. Sort of like blognitive therapy, if you will. The frustration and anguish associated with dealing with American undergraduates can, to put it mildly, get a little excessive. As I have said earlier: Teaching is like being a vet - you bend over backwards to help the animals, only to have them bite you back in the end (pun intended).

To credit these kids though, I have to say that they were pretty well-behaved last night. There are only seven of them in the class. Several of them seemed older and more in tune with how things work in the real world. Also, its a summer class, which means its usually more relaxed. And since its a class for non-majors, no one is there by force. And "by force" I mean because of university-imposed major requirements. So I can only assume that they are there out of personal interest.

However, all is not well here in these hallowed halls of academic scholarship. Someone screwed up my text-book order and ordered the wrong textbook to the University book store. The classroom is not PowerPoint enabled and it does not even have air-conditioning. Which kind of reflects badly on the University. A certain level of professionalism is expected, I think, when you're teaching in the US. But, on the bright side, I'm working to change all that. So, all of you who are waiting with bated breath to read my next blog-post on my teaching, and I know you are out there, all one of you (including me), I'll keep you posted. Or, blog-posted, to be more precise.

Addendum: In case you're wondering about the significance of the title of this post, well, it's chosen to reflect the kind of anguish Brad Pitt's character went through in the movie Se7en when he found out what he found out at the end of the movie (no spoilers here). Alternatively, the suspense you felt while watching the movie mirrors the suspense that you will feel in waiting for my next teaching post. It's got nothing to do with the fact that I have seven students in my class, though. Nothing whatsoever.

The MoMA On Mem Day (say that five times fast)

2006-05-31T10:21:00.000-04:00

So - its been a few days of silence. The reason for that is I was using my Mem Day to do some touristy things in the city for a change. Went to the MoMA with the RX Geek. The new MoMA, that is. Went to the old one as well, back when it was old. Even went to MoMA QNS, when it was in Queens. As always, the time was too short to fully enjoy the whole thing (except for MoMA QNS, which was ridiculously small). Well, there's always the next time I'm in the mood for some touristy things...

Don't do enough of those touristy things, to be honest. And perhaps it is for good reason. It wasn't such a great idea to go there on Mem Day - the place was packed to the brim with tourists, bringing down NYC's general fashion index. Not that I'm any Isaac Mizrahi or anything. In fact, the index tends goes down by a point or two everytime I'm in public. But I digress. The tourists were everywhere, but were particlarly dense (pun intended) around Dali's Persistence of Memory and Van Gogh's Starry Night amongst others. This was not such a bad thing as I have had my fill of those more famous works of art. However, when you're trying to enjoy an exhibit and some random person suddenly decides to stand precisely between you and the work of art so that (s)he can take a close-up picture of Andy Warhol's Gold Marilyn Monroe with their goddamned cell phone, well, then suddenly it starts getting to you. With their cell phone, no less!

Anyhow, after some pranayama and postive-thinking (where's that damn Budda Machine when you need it?), I could continue to enjoy the rest of my visit. And notwithstanding these minor blips on the radar of life, the overall expedition was worth the effort. So, that explains the silence. But it shall be remedied shortly. Just because I wasn't posting, doesn't mean I don't have things to say...
[Note to self: Next time you decide to do touristy things, remember to do them on non-vacation days.]

Out of Control

2006-05-28T09:07:00.000-04:00

Three Iraqi tennis players were pulled out of their car and shot dead just for wearing shorts. Yahoo! News says

A witness, who asked not to be named, said the shorts-clad tennis players had just left some laundry at the cleaners, when gunmen stopped their car and asked them to step out of the vehicle.

When two did so they were shot in the head. The third was then dragged from the car, thrown on the bodies of his teammates, and shot as he lay on the ground.

The gunmen then kicked the corpses before stealing the car and making their escape, the witness said Friday.

He added that fundamentalists had been distributing leaflets recently warning residents of the area not to wear shorts.

Things are out of control, man. This is absolutely ridiculous.

Everest Ethics: Update

2006-05-26T08:24:00.000-04:00

Today, I found this article about Mark Inglis' (the double-amputee) decision to leave David Sharp to die.

Also, apparently yet another climber, an Australian named Lincoln Hall, who had summitted on Thursday, and who had lost a German team-mate, started to hallucinate and weaken on his descent. The Sherpas who were with him radioed the team leader at base camp (or a lower camp at any rate, I assume) who told them to leave him since they were out of oxygen. He was basically given up for dead. But surprise, surprise, he was found to have survived the night and was discovered alive the next day by an American climber, Dan Mazur. Rescue operations are under way.

Wow, it really looks like they're having good weather up there, with people summitting left, right and center!

Made In India

2006-05-25T16:10:00.000-04:00

What's NOT made in China for a change, are civil rights. Yup, you heard right. Nick Bryant, the BBC's South Asia correspondent just wrote a book entitled The Bystander: John F Kennedy and the Struggle for Black Equality. The entire book was written during his sojourn in South Asia. So what does the civil rights movement in the US have to do with India? Well, quite a bit, actually. Bryant writes:

As I quickly discovered, many of the main heroes of the book - the often isolated officials in the Kennedy administration who called repeatedly for the President to mount a much more aggressive assault on racial segregation in the American south - all spent formative portions of their careers in India.

They were committed Indophiles - or more accurately, Gandhiphiles.

And that includes Chester Bowles, the Deputy Secretary of State in the Kennedy administration who was ambassador to India and Nepal in the 1950s. The recently deceased and controversial economist John Kenneth Galbraith who was also ambassador to India during the Kennedy era and, in fact, was in Delhi when the race riots broke out in the US in 1963. Harris Wofford, JFK's short-lived chief civil rights adviser, visited India in the late 40s, and even published a book India Afire with his wife, Clare. And, of course, Martin Luther King, Jr. who made his respect for the teachings of Gandhi quite well-known, made the trip to India in 1959.

"To other countries I may go as a tourist," he declared on touching down at Delhi airport, "but to India I come as a pilgrim."

It's good to know that the repercussions of Gandhi's philosophy still continue even now. The average American, hearing that you are from India (I speak from personal experience here), will ask you either about snake-charming, the caste system or about Gandhi, depending on his social status and education level. Notwithstanding the first two, it is at least somewhat comforting to know that at least one Indian has had this much of a positive impact at the global level and still continues to do so, decades after his death.

Gandhi had a special significance in my life. The matriarch of my family (my surrogate great-grandmother) was a staunch Gandhian and whenever Gandhi came to Bombay he used to visit her. She was even on the boat that went out to sprinkle his ashes at the confluence of the three holy rivers. Because of her, most of my family members have small vials of Gandhi's ashes (with authentification certificates, no less). She never consumed a drop of coffee or tea in her life, she never ate meat, she spun the yarn that she used to make her khadi sarees and she started her day at 4am every morning for most of her adult life. She lived until the ripe old age of 87, outliving several of her younger relatives. She used to go regularly to villages in India helping set up schools, wells and advocating women's rights. Like Gandhi, she only traveled by second class, unreserved. Unlike Gandhi, however, she did not have the entire coach reserved for her. If you have ever traveled by Indian Railways, you will have an idea of how rough that is. She did it until she was close to 84 when her health started getting in the way. Her name was Maniben Nanavati. Check out the link - it's unfortunate that that is her only online presence and certainly, I am going to try and change that. And if you are from Vile Parle in Bombay, it's the same Maniben Nanavati after whom the Women's College is named.

Needless to say, with women like that bringing up my family's elders, Gandhian principles were drilled into our heads from a very young age. And because of it (or perhaps, in spite of it) I strongly believe that his philosophy is still valid today. Certainly, I am not advocating the lifestyle that my great-grandmother lived (admirable as it was), and neither am I advocating total non-violence, but there are several aspects of his philosophy which are still quite applicable. The principles by which he lived and those he advocated are certainly valid. Those include self-reliance, religious tolerance and in certain situations, yes, non-violence. Hey, from this quote (from the eight-volume biography by Dinanath Tendulkar), we can even guess what his views on intellectual property and blogging were:

Writings in the journals which I have the privilege of editing must be common property.

Gandhi was a complicated man and an ambitious one. His ultimate goal was to rid India of British rule and influence politics without becoming a politician himself. He left that to Nehru, Patel and Jinnah, to name a few. The control he had over the people of India was tremendous and I seriously doubt that he could have achieved that by becoming a politico. He was at best, a spiritual leader and, at worst, a religious (but non-violent and tolerant) extremist. To achieve his goals, he shrewdly did what he had to do. If that involved preaching by example, then that included living his life the way he lived it. Perhaps, that is a tad extreme for you and me living today's 21st century lifestyle (hell, I don't want to give up my laptop!). But I do believe that the principles behind that life still ring true. Evidence of that is all around us, including the article I talked about above.

Although Gandhi was certainly made in India, I think that he would have been quick to remind us that his principles were anything but that. They were universal.

Everest Ethics

2006-05-25T11:05:00.000-04:00

Because of the good weather last week, 42 people summitted including a Sherpa who beat his own world record of maximum Everest summits bringing it up to 16, a double-amputee who summitted -amazingly- on prosthetic limbs and a British diplomat who summitted 70 years after her grandfather's failed attempt. I had blogged about all three of those earlier. I had also mentioned that even though 42 people summitted last Thursday, one of them didn't make it. This was 34-year old David Sharp.

Things have taken an interesting turn recently, though. It seems that of the other 40-odd people who summitted that day, all were in a group, and (this is key) they all passed by a dying David Sharpe on their ascent. Sharpe, who had already ascended, summitted and was descending alpine style (that means solo), was lying there frozen to the point where he could only move his eyes (I couldn't find any information about the details of his death online).

The main defence put by Mark Inglis [that's the double-amputee] is not that the rescuers would have put themselves at risk but that David Sharp was "effectively dead". Frozen, he could only move his eyes. If this diagnosis is correct, it is extremely unlikely that he would have survived the descent. No amount of help would have saved his life.

At first, I was a little outraged. However, having done a wee bit of climbing myself (four trips to various parts of the Indian Himalayas, climbing up to ~16,000 feet) I think we should desist to climb on the high horse and begin moralizing. Bear with me for just a minute. The BBC's resident medical ethicist Daniel Sokol has written about this incident. He distinguished between what is justifiable and what is excusable. He says

An act is morally justified if you can show that it was the right thing to do. An act is excusable if, even though what you did was wrong, the circumstances were such that you cannot really be blamed.

So, I guess for all of us who watch Law and Order, an excusable act is one where the defendant pleads "Not Guilty by Reason of Insanity." Although what the defendant did was wrong, its excusable because (s)he's clinically insance (assuming (s)he really is insane, and all that).
So, given that the forty-odd climbers were in extremes of weather, at a high altitude with low oxygen, and most likely at their limits of endurance, this act is morally excusable, but not morally justified - so says Sokol.

I think that, to some extent, I agree with him. Assigning blame right now is pointless. Its not going to bring the dead climber back to life. And also, it can be brutal up there and to even begin to contemplate some kind of rescue procedure (ie, taking him down to base camp) might be outside the realm of one's physical abilities at that point. This is, of course, speculation based on my own experience - its very hard to pinpoint the exact conditions under which the decision to leave him behind was made. What do you think?

Here's the BBC article by Daniel Sokol.

Eurocentrism Killed Aryabhatta: Follow Up

2006-05-24T08:49:00.000-04:00

No, I still have yet to receive the book I mentioned below. But before I did that I did some of my own research into these claims. Bhaiyya Joshi, notwithstanding his conspiracy theories, did pique my curiosity on the subject.

So, where does one begin looking for these kinds of things? Of course, the only places to start are Wikipedia and Google. As it turns out, there are quite a few resources out there about the subject. Furthermore, there are tremendous contributions by Indians to mathematics, so it seems. So, what are they? I'll get into that, but first, a disclaimer: I am, by no means, an expert on the history of math, and furthermore, I haven't actually verified any of the stuff I found.

Ok, so as I was saying, it seems that Indian contribution to mathematics was tremendous. Einstein, himself, said,

We owe a lot to the Indians, who taught us how to count, without which no worthwhile scientific discovery could have been made.

Even Laplace (the 19th century French mathematician, whose known to me for his contributions to probability theory) said,

The ingenious method of expressing every possible number using a set of ten symbols (each symbol having a place value and an absolute value) emerged in India. The idea seems so simple nowadays that its significance and profound importance is no longer appreciated. Its simplicity lies in the way it facilitated calculation and placed arithmetic foremost amongst useful inventions. the importance of this invention is more readily appreciated when one considers that it was beyond the two greatest men of Antiquity, Archimedes and Apollonius.

According to Wikipedia, one of the earliest acknowledgements to contributions by Indians to mathematics was made (or rather not made - see the phrasing of the quote) in 662 AD or CE by a Syrian bishop by the name of Severus Sebokt (also spelled Sebokht) whose main claim to fame was to translate Aristotle's Logic and, among other things, play some role in bringing the Indian numbering system to the Arab nations. The proof of that, lies in this passage written by him:

I shall not speak here of the science of the Hindus, who are not even Syrians, and not of their subtle discoveries in astronomy that are more inventive than those of the Greeks and of the Babylonians; not of their eloquent ways of counting nor of their art of calculation, which cannot be described in words — I only want to mention those calculations that are done with nine numerals. If those who believe, because they speak Greek, that they have arrived at the limits of science, would read the Indian texts, they would be convinced, even if a little late in the day, that there are others who know something of value.

So, clearly, I am (as usual) a little late in catching on to these things. However, there are several periods in the Indian contribution to mathematics, including the Harappan period, the Vedic period described mainly in the Sulba Sutras, the Jain period, the Classical period and the more recent Kerala mathematics. One could probably write a book on each of the individual periods, so sufficeth to say that each of these periods have made some contribution or another. These include topics as diverse as (of course) the number system, the calculation of pi, the concept of infinity, what is known as the Pythagorean Theorem (a primitive form of which was originally devised in the Sulba Sutras to construct sacrificial altars, of all things), logarithms, differential calculus and much much more. I should also mention that there were contibutions to mathematical logic as well, and one of the main contributions to this area comes from Panini who contributed through his work on linguistics and grammar. On his work, Wikipedia has said that:

A consequence of his grammar's focus on brevity is its highly unintuitive structure, reminiscent of contemporary "machine language" (as opposed to "human readable" programming languages).

This, of course, completely explains why Indians are so good at anything IT-related (note: facetious tone).
Also, as I have come to realize, that the charges of Eurocentrism are quite well-known and backed up by people like Florian Cajori a 20th century Swiss math historian who taught at several places in the US, including UC Berkeley. Here's what Wikipedia had to say about the Eurocentrism:

Unfortunately, Indian contributions have not been given due acknowledgement in modern history, with many discoveries/inventions by Indian mathematicians now attributed to their western counterparts, due to Eurocentrism.

Even Ian G. Pearce, a student of mathematics who has written about the history of Indian mathematics, has a chapter on the "Possible transmission of Keralese mathematics to Europe." He says that Indians may have been instrumental in European navigation techniques.

There were significant financial rewards for 'anyone' who could 'assist' in the improvement of navigation techniques. It is thought 'information' was sought from India in particular due to the influence of 11th century Arabic translations of earlier Indian navigational methods.

Does anyone see the irony here? We may well have led to the improvement of the very techniques that were used to get to India and eventually colonize us! A final note on Eurocentrism from Wikipedia:

More recently, evidence has been unearthed that reveals that the foundations of calculus were laid in India, at the Kerala School. Some scholars have suggested that calculus and other mathematics of India were transmitted to Europe through the trade route from Kerala by traders and Jesuit missionaries. Kerala was in continuous contact with China, Arabia, and from around 1500, Europe as well, thus transmission would have been possible. There is no direct evidence by way of relevant manuscripts but the evidence of methodological similarities, communication routes and a suitable chronology for transmission is hard to dismiss.

Interesting stuff, to say the least...

China vs. India

2006-05-23T06:34:00.000-04:00

The BBC today came out with one of their "In-Depth" features on the "emerging giants" of China and India. Unfortunately, it seems that China is (as usual) whooping our ass in terms of economic growth, with the possibility that it might become the richest nation in the world by 2026. The usual downfalls to India's slow progress are listed including the bureaucracy and infrastructure including soft infrastructure issues like the labor laws. China also has its own problems, but at least they are doing something about it. India, on the other hand, is recently getting over a stock market slump. Hopefully, we shall overcome...

Eurocentrism Killed Aryabhatta

2006-05-22T10:37:00.000-04:00

Ordinarily, I would not even pay attention to things like "India invented mathematics" and "The vedas have formulas for ICBMs." Statements like this originate from over-zealous chauvinism and Indocentrism, more than anything else. However, there is a book out (it's not new) called The Origin of Mathematics by V. Lakshmikantham and S. Leela which claims that several concepts in math, which are generally attributed to Westerners were discussed in ancient Indian texts millenia before they came into being in the West. The reason for them not being uncovered or being made public was, well, large-scale Eurocentrism. To be honest, I haven't read the book (but it's on its way). But I did read this review by the fraternal Bhaiyya Joshi.

Firstly, to establish some kind of credibility, he says that

[T]his is not a rhetorical proclamation of some overzealous Indian chauvinists. Two India-born American university professors, V. Lakshmikantham and S. Leela, have documented extensive new data on ancient Indian mathematics and on the bankruptcy of the theory of Aryan invasion of India from the northern-central plains in Asia.

Along with their own meticulous research of original Sanskrit texts and related vernacular literature, the authors draw upon the works of a few European scholars. With the publication of this amazing monograph on Indian mathematics, the cloud of ignorance and deliberate misrepresentation of the many achievements in ancient India is beginning to lift.

Apparently, there was a mix-up between Chandragupta Maurya of the Mauryan dynasty and Chandragupta of the Gupta dynasty. Moreover, it seems that this mix-up was deliberate. I don't follow exactly what Joshi is saying here, but it seems that the names were deliberately "confused" to bring all the ancient Indian scriptures into the Christian era. In his words:

Thanks to the inventive and resourceful William Jones of the IHS, the entire chronology of events was summarily shortened by more than 1,200 years. Consequently, the times of ancient astronomers and mathematicians had to be moved into the Christian era.

It seems that even the famous indologist Max Mueller got things screwed up.

Max Mueller, concocted the age of the Rig Veda to be 1200 B.C., with the stipulation it was written by nomadic Aryans (riding on horseback, presumably with a mobile library). Actually, the Rig Veda was compiled well before 3000 B.C.

A few other interesting facts that follow from this re-dating of things:

Contrary to popular belief, Gautam Buddha lived during 1887–1807 B.C., and the short but remarkable life’s mission of Adi Shankaracharya was accomplished between 509 and 477 B.C. The first known mathematician and astronomer from India, Aryabhatta, was born in 2765 B.C., and the Sulvasutras, heralding the discipline of geometric algebra, were completed before his birth. But in the occidental “scholarship,” Aryabhatta’s year of birth was changed to 476 C.E. with the misreading of his epoch-making Aryabhatteeum.

And this is where I get confused:

These were not accidental errors, but were the result of a carefully planned alteration of manuscript copies. Notice that the four Vedas preceded the Sulvasutras. Note also none of the Vedangas, the Upangas, the Brahmanas, the Aranyakas, and the Upanishads could possibly have been written later than the second millennium B.C.

Methinks Mr. Joshi has fallen prey to the very over-zealous chauvinism that he criticized in the beginning. However, some more interesting facts that come to light through the review are that the Indians invented (or discovered) quite a few mathematical concepts that are attributed to Egyptions and Greeks.

For example, we are told the Gregory-Leibniz series for p/4 was first discovered by Nilkanta and was clearly stated in his Tantra Sangraha (1500 C.E.). The so-called Pythagoras’s Theorem (sixth century B.C.) and its converse was known to the Indian sages of the third millennium B.C. The general principle of trigonometric functions was enunciated in the Surya Siddhanta, preceding even the Sulvasutras period. Brahmagupta (30 B.C.) solved the second order indeterminate equation Nx^2 + 1 = y^2, and foresaw Newton’s Law of Gravitation. The authors also demonstrate that Bhaskara II (486 C.E.) had the expertise in the area that was re-invented and, of course, systematized as Differential Calculus by Newton and Leibniz in the late 17th century. The Greeks got their plane geometry from India and their language was derived from Sanskrit. Incidentally, the Greeks “themselves had supposed or conjectured, that they had received their intellectual capital, especially in geometry” either from China or from India.

Now that is interesting: Indians discovered Pythagoras' Theorem, trigonometric functions and a whole lot more. Well, Mr. Joshi then goes into a rant towards western civilization in general, so I'm not going to get into all of that. If you're interested in reading it, then go to the link above by all means. However, I think the book would make an interesting readt. Definitely worth the $26 (which just about puts it into the Free SuperSaver Shipping category at Amazon).

The 100th Post

2006-05-22T09:14:00.000-04:00

I am shocked. I mean, I don't know what to say. I never thought I would get this far. So many people to thank for this: I'd like to thank my agent, my family, and of course, all of my little minions who surf the net for me and alert me whenever they find something interesting. I'd especially like to thank the minions. The foundations of this blog are held up by the minions. The millions of minions.

Of course, we cannot forget that we are in a war right now, and I'd like to send my heartfelt thanks to those who made sacrifices for the cause of freedom. Especially Aamir Khan. When he played Mangal Pandey, he sacrificed a significant chunk of the respect that I had for him. And that takes guts. Thank you Mr. Khan.

Oh, I hear the music rising up from the orchestra pit, but I'd just like to say one more thing: there are hundreds of thousands of mid-westerners who watch Pat Robertson's evangelical broadcasts every night on the 700 Club and who give him their money every time he tells them to. I dedicate this 100th Post to them. For without them, I would have no one to feel superior to. Thank you.

Companion Piece to the Buddha Machine

2006-05-21T16:35:00.000-04:00

Some time back I wrote a post about the Buddha Machine. Then, around a month later, on Buddha Purnima Sepia Mutiny made another post about it. Well, with the Buddha Machine, you could attain nirvana for $23.

But wait. To attain nirvana, one must be tuned into the cosmic consciousness! And how can one expect to get tuned into the cosmic consciousness, when there's no machine to do that!! Well, that's all in the past now. An NYU student Rob Seward, has created a Consciousness Field Resonator for his Master's thesis to tell us about the ebbs and flows of the universal (ok, not universal, but global - you got to start somewhere!) consciousness.

So, the story begins with all the various random number generators at various research institutions across the world. It seems that every time a major earth-shattering event occurs (say, something like 9/11 or Princess Di's funeral) there are statistical anomalies within the numbers generated by them. We know that because they all feed into this one server at Princeton which looks for and catches these statistical anomalies. The reason, they say, for these statistical anomalies is that there are changes in the global consciousness.

Rob Seward's creation has a random number generator and hardware designed to catch anomalies in generation of these random numbers. Which means that if the generator produces numbers which have some kind of discernible pattern (which they really shouldn't - but will only have when there are changes in the global consciousness level) then the machine will alert the owner to these changes.

So, the bottom-line? You have a companion piece to the Buddha Machine. You can buy enlightenment and a machine that tells you about the crests and troughs of global consciousness. I'm reserving my comments about how the *&%# anyone can spend valuable dollars of research funds on this stuff for another post...

A Different Kind of Vacation

2006-05-20T18:23:00.000-04:00

Every year, there is a series of four races that take place across the globe. The only difference between this series and other series is that these are 100-mile runs across four of the world's deserts. The last one, is called the the Last Desert competition and it's in Antarctica.

Part spiritual quest, part kamikaze mission, 4 Deserts has become the next big endeavor for people who have raced every marathon, Ironman triathlon, and Eco-Challenge out there.

This article is about a software consultant from Chicago, Greg Kunhau, who completed all four deserts of the 4 Deserts challenge. The competition covers China's Gobi desert, Chile's Atacama, Egypt's Sahara and ends with Antarctica. Last year, the race started with the Atacama, and Kunhau was there:

The course there offered almost no shade and traversed salt flats with daytime temperatures near 120 degrees, even in midwinter. In that race, Kunhau lost a big toenail, shed 17 pounds, and contracted bronchitis and strep throat. "I wanted to die," he says.

He was part of a team of three people who did it together. I cannot even imagine what it must be like doing it alone.

While most racers prefer to go solo, he competed as part of a team of three (all entrepreneurs), because they wanted the company. In 2004, Joel Burrows, now 30, and Nancy Fudacz-Burrows, 38, a married couple who own a gym in Chicago called First Step Fitness, traveled with Kunhau[.]

They next went to China, to run in the Gobi.

The next spring the team flew to China to run in the Gobi desert, which competitors refer to as the "oven" because of its relentless sun and seemingly endless expanses of bare rock. Kunhau suffered chronic nausea and hallucinated from lack of sleep.

And, next to the Sahara.

[I]n the Sahara he lost another toenail and started vomiting so violently from the 130-degree heat that he had to crawl under a Volkswagen-sized rock to cool down. But the intensity of the experiences started to become addictive. "You learn to overcome fear," Kunhau says. "You have to if you want to get through."

At this point, I am speechless. When I ran the NYC marathon, I thought that was gruelling. That was nothing compared to this. In fact, that was nothing even compared to the Ironman (swimming 2.4 miles, biking 112 miles, and then running a marathon - 26.2 miles). And Kunhau has run three of them.

Before the desert events, Kunhau had completed 17 marathons, three Ironman competitions, and, as he says, "too many triathlons to count."

Amazing. How did he train for these things?

Before work Kunhau would wake at 5 A.M. to get in a 30-minute bike ride or a five-mile run. Other mornings he took his work to the Lake Michigan shore, ran an eight-mile loop along the waterfront, returned to his car for an hour or so of conference calls with clients, and then put in another eight-mile loop. At night he went to the gym for weight training, swimming, and treadmill work.

"For a few months I didn't have much of a social life," he says.

I can empathize with the lack of a social life (I'm a grad student). And even I work out twice a day, but this is amazing. I mean, talk about life-changing experiences. The next time you say that a movie or a book "changed your life," think about this. I think this is the real thing. In fact,

Life altering is the first expression most use when describing the desert races. According to Mary Gadams, 41, the U.S.-born founder and CEO of RacingThePlanet, the desert-based ultramarathons are so transforming that after completing one, about a third of the competitors quit their jobs to do something more fulfilling.

For once, I have nothing say except that this is one more thing to add to my life's to-do list...

Everest in the news again

2006-05-19T16:26:00.000-04:00

Looks like they're really having good weather on Everest this month. This is the third famous ascent with Appa Sherpa breaking his own record of maximum ascents bringing it up to 16. This was the second ascent in the news, with Serena Brocklebank, a British diplomat reaching the summit 70 years after her grandfather's failed attempt. The first ascent in the news (well, at least the BBC News) was the one I posted about here.

However, all is not well, since this poor 34-year old Brit didn't quite make it back down after reaching the summit. The article also says that:

On Thursday, 42 people made it to the summit as the Everest season entered its busiest spell.

Damn, the weather must be good.

For all of you out there who know a little about mountaineering, and who've read Jon Krakauer's Into Thin Air [which, incidentally, I highly recommend] know the level to which (in terms of commercialism) ascending Everest has descended. They also know that Everest is not the most technically difficult mountain to climb. That dubious honor goes to K2.

K2 is considered to be one of the most dangerous mountains to climb and it has taken many climbers lives. During 1998 and 1999 noone managed to summit the mountain. During 2000 however, over 20 people have made it the top already. The total number or successful ascents of K2 is still less than 200, which can be compared to Mount Everests 241 ascents during 1998 and 1999 alone.

This is, of course, not to diminish the achievement of the Everest summit-reachers in any way. Everest not being as technically challenging as K2 does not imply that it is not technically challenging in itself. My point is that Everest has a certain glamour surrounding it which makes reaching the summit something which is not only in great demand, but also highly demanding. Climbing is a serious business and I just hope that those who climb (and particularly those who lead) fully understand the serious aspects of it before they get into the business aspects.

In the mood for word-play this afternoon, I guess...

Man Ki Shakti, Machine Ki Shakti

2006-05-18T16:56:00.000-04:00

Manmohan Singh just inaugurated the Defense Research and Development Organization's (DRDO) new building in which we are going to manufacture the next generation of soldiers. Yes, you heard right: Manufacture. He's promised India a robot army. Don't think the robots will likely be like these S Korean killerbots, but probably more like one large, giant robot like this one. Hey, if it works...

Read more here at the Robot Gossip blog. There's something about it at Zee India as well.

The next question any right-minded Indian hawk should be asking himself (or herself) is how far behind is Pakistan?

Xavier's College (Bombay) and the Da Vinci Code

2006-05-17T17:52:00.000-04:00

Fellow ex-Xavierites, look at the person in the forefront of the protests against the Da Vinci Code movie.

...the head of the Catholic Secular Forum has begun a 'hunger strike until death'.

That "head of the Catholic Secular Forum" is none other than Fr. Joe Dias! Yes - the same guy who took over from "Pop Con", a.k.a. Father Conrad as the Principal of Xavier's circa 1994. The same guy who tormented all the young girls about wearing shorts in the canteen. And yes, its the same guy who disallowed the holding of hands and various other similar "nefarious" activities at Xavier's. Sounds something like what they do in some of the Middle Eastern countries...it's no surprise then that he's got the muslims to protest with him.

Ok, rash generalizations being made there and breaking all the rules of political correctness, but a hunger strike for The Da Vinci Code? And I mean even just protesting a movie, for God's sake (pun intended)!! It's a bit much, I think. It's a movie for crying out loud! Firstly, it's fiction. Secondly, I am by no means a religious person, but if a fictional movie can incite you to waste your time on protesting (and in Joe Dias' case, going on a hunger strike) then I think it's time you reexamined your faith, brother! Besides, if you really want to protest, then do it against something justified. You can find come really worthy causes here.

Read the BBC article about Joe Dias and the Da Vinci protests in Asia here.

Archie Comics

2006-05-17T15:49:00.001-04:00

Growing up, Archie Comics were despised by my parents for their lack of literary value ("You should be reading books instead of wasting your time with comics!"), but no less than wolfed down by me. There was nothing like spending an entire afternoon going through a pile of new Archies. In fact, when there were no new comics in the house, I had no qualms about reading the old ones again. Each could, in times of desperation, easily make it for two or sometimes even three readings. I remember, we would fight over which character we most resembled. Was I Archie? No he's Archie, I'm Jughead! Love food, hate girls...life is good!!

I was definitely an addict. I would look forward to going to the "library" (which, in 80s Bombay were basically privately run places where you could borrow books for cash) and picking up a stack of Archies. The "magazines" were good, but the "digests" were even better. I could go through a magazine in, like, fifteen minutes. In retrospect, it was almost like those things were made for "slow people" with the oversized graphics and lettering. But a digest, on the other hand, was packed with stories and could sometimes even be read over two sittings.

It would not be a stretch for me to say that one of my reasons for coming to the US was the stuff I read in those comics. The Archie world was the American suburban ideal. Blocks of houses with two-car garages and lawns to mow. Teenagers whose idea of being "naughty" was to mix two of the wrong chemicals in the chemistry class which invariably ended up with an explosion. Life where the best way to spend a summer afternoon was making money by mowing lawns and spending time at "Pop's" with your friends. Man, I think I even wanted to mow lawns then. This was the perfect world with colourful (literally and figuratively) characters and, no matter what happened, everything ultimately turned out allright.

Of course, real life is not like that. And, as I've become older, ostensibly wiser and definitely more cynical, I realize that the stories were hackneyed attempts at humour and/or adventure, with a lot (and I mean a lot) of recycling. And after spending a considerable amount of time here in the US, I feel that nothing could be further from the truth than the stuff in those comics. Although, I am sure, there are quite a few people who wished otherwise or worse yet, are in denial. In fact, so many of today's animated series on TV (The Simpsons, Family Guy) are essentially parodies of that suburban myth of the perfect "American" family, just like Archie Andrews'.

Well, I guess that is another piece of innocence and perfection (or, at least, the belief in perfection) lost with age...*sigh*

So what prompted me to write this long piece on Archie Comics of all things? Well, The Onion's A.V. Club has just written up a review on the Archie Americana Series, a seven volume set covering Archie from the Forties up to the Eighties. Who knows? I might just buy me a volume or two...

Postscript: If you are unfamiliar with Archie Comics and the antics of Archie and his gang, no worries: Tell me about your "Archie." Everyone has something which represents that period of innocence and happiness in childhood. The one right before adolescence hits and ruins everything. You know, when all is well with the world. What was yours?

Post-Postscript: On the off-chance that you're curious to learn more about Archie Comics, here's the Wikipedia article.

Everest Scaled Again

2006-05-17T08:40:00.000-04:00

Yes - it's been climbed yet again. Only thing is, this time it's by a double amputee. New Zealander Mark Inglis reached the top of the mountain on his two prosthetic limbs. He lost his legs to frostbite while climbing Mt. Cook in 1982, when he and a companion were forced to spend two weeks in an ice cave because of bad weather. Despite this, he won a silver medal in the Sydney Paralympics. Definitely inspiring.

Read more at BBC News here.

Lactic Acid

2006-05-17T08:30:00.000-04:00

If you're a fitness freak, then you should already know that muscle soreness is not caused by lactic acid, and neither is lactic acid buildup a bad thing. In fact, lactic acid is actually a fuel and muscles produce it directly from glucose, burning it to produce energy.

The understanding now is that muscle cells convert glucose or glycogen to lactic acid. The lactic acid is taken up and used as a fuel by mitochondria, the energy factories in muscle cells.

In fact, lactic acid actually disappears from our muscles in about an hour after exercise, so that is not what causes soreness. Coaches apparently have known this all along, despite so many running websites and magazines telling us to work out at our "lactic threshold" - that point where you feel your muscles being worked out to the fullest.

Yet, Dr. Brooks said, even though coaches often believed in the myth of the lactic acid threshold, they ended up training athletes in the best way possible to increase their mitochondria. "Coaches have understood things the scientists didn't," he said.

Through trial and error, coaches learned that athletic performance improved when athletes worked on endurance, running longer and longer distances, for example.

That, it turns out, increased the mass of their muscle mitochondria, letting them burn more lactic acid and allowing the muscles to work harder and longer.

So folks, this is yet another way in which distance running helps you - it makes you faster! Incidentally, if you're wondering what actually causes muscle soreness (now that we know it's not lactic acid) - it's, essentially, your muscles repairing themselves. Pushing yourself to your limit causes microdamage to muscle fibres and the soreness you feel hours after your workout is called DOMS (or delayed onset muscle soreness).

It takes at least eight hours to feel this type of soreness. You finish a workout and feel great; then you get up the next morning and your exercised muscles feel sore. We used to think that next-day muscle soreness is caused by a buildup of lactic acid in muscles, but now we know that lactic acid has nothing to do it. Next-day muscle soreness is caused by damage to the muscle fibers themselves. Muscle biopsies taken on the day after hard exercise show bleeding and disruption of the z-band filaments that hold muscle fibers together as they slide over each other during a contraction.

So the next time you feel that soreness, remember to take it easy until it goes away.

On one day, go out and exercise right up to the burn, back off when your muscles really start to burn, then pick up the pace again and exercise to the burn. Do this exercise-to-the-burn and recover until your muscles start to feel stiff, and then stop the workout. Depending on how sore your muscles feel, take the next day off or go at a very slow pace. Do not attempt to train for muscle burning again until the soreness has gone away completely. Most athletes take a very hard workout on one day, go easy for one to seven days afterward, and then take a hard workout again.

The stuff about lactic acid is from an NYT article, and can be read here. The stuff about muscle soreness is from DrMirkin.com and can be found here.

Lost your job to outsourcing?

2006-05-15T16:14:00.000-04:00

If you're American and your job was outsourced to some cheap Indian company, there's good news for you. Not only can you now get gainful employment, but here's your chance to take revenge by stealing jobs from Indians! Yes, you heard right! Bollywood producers are looking for token goras to fill the white man/woman's role in movies.

Without a stable population of Caucasian faces to populate imaginary discothèques, ranks of British soldiers, and Hare Krishna converts, casting agents and film crews often find themselves scouring the city for anyone who looks Western. Some people who had never given a thought to being in films have discovered potential acting careers.

So what are you waiting for? Call now, and, if you're lucky you'll get to act side-by-side with THE iconic token-white-man in Hindi cinema: Tom Alter!

Read more here at Wired News.

Another way to get a doctorate...

2006-05-15T15:23:00.000-04:00

One way is to work hard through your undergrad, develop an interest in a subject, apply to grad schools and get in to a grad school. Once you're there, slog through the coursework, pass your cumulative exams, work hard through your dissertation research, all the while grinning through the frustration of being overworked, underpaid and under constant abuse from your slave-drivers -er- advisers. If you're lucky, smart and hardworking, you'll get the Ph.D.

The other, less conventional way, is to change your name to a woman's, start a band (and have it referred to by Frank Zappa as the "most inept band on the LA circuit"), tout your love for Ferraris and switchblades on-stage, frequently "decapitate" your daughter's head (dressed as Britney Spears), and on the whole, scream a lot, be very angry and make a lot of noise. If you do that for 30-35 years, you'll also get a doctorate.

Yup, that's right, folks. Alice Cooper has received an honorary doctorate from Grand Canyon University in Phoenix, Arizona. Apparently, when he's not doing all of the above, he's a family man and get this: baseball coach...

Grad students rejoice

2006-05-11T11:34:00.000-04:00

There's a guy at UW-Whitewater (that's University of Wisconsin) who's been an undergrad for 12 (count 'em!) years. That's right. So, fellow PhD's, if you look at your life passing you by. If you see your friends getting richer, settled, married, etc. If you think to yourself, "What the hell am I doing here?" Take heart. There's someone who's worse off than you. Imagine being stuck in undergrad for 12 years.

He's already completed 234 credits, 100 more than he needs to graduate. And he's majored in education, communications, theater, health and women's studies.

As if that wasn't bad enough - he withdrew his application for graduation this year! Why?

"I realized that if I went one more year, I could study abroad," Lechner said. "That's one thing I haven't done."

Christ, man! If you're that masochistic, you really *should* be in grad school!

The article is on CNN. Read it here.