The Intercontinental Church of "Macho Man" Randy Savage

2 Years Later We Still Haven't Forgotten

2013-05-21T19:44:00.000-04:00

It was 2 years ago today, one day after his earthly passage, that the Macho Messiah extended his divine elbow in order to prevent the impending apocalypse. Please remember to snap into a Slim Jim on this day of remembrance in tribute to our true Lord and Savior.

Designate May 20th as Macho Man Randy Savage Day!!

2013-03-07T22:52:00.001-05:00

If you are living in the United States it is your DUTY to go sign this petition to ensure that our government gives our messiah the respect he deserves by designating the day of his earthly passage as a national holiday!

2012-10-07T01:10:00.002-04:00

2012-06-14T01:00:00.001-04:00

The Madness Is Unleashed in Skyrim!

2012-01-10T00:05:00.000-05:00

I'll admit it. The release of Skyrim is one of the reasons updates have been sort of sparse around here as of late. However, thanks to the awesome mod community, it now gives me an excuse to update! Turn dragons into fire breathing Macho Messiahs with this awesome mod!

Merry Machmas!

2011-11-15T02:31:00.000-05:00

Today is the day, folks. The day we honor and celebrate the birth of our Lord. Hopefully Macho Claus snapped into your chimney and brought you everything you could possibly want. (If he didn't, you have no one to blame but yourself for only true followers of the Madness receive a visit.) Hope you all have a chance to gather with your families and loved ones and reminisce about your favorite Macho memories. I plan on watching the Macho Madness Collection and snapping into as many Slim Jims as humanly possible.

Oh, oh, OHHHHH YEAAAAHHH!!! Merry Machmas!

We Are The MILLION Percent!

2011-10-21T09:05:00.000-04:00

That's better than 99%!

Machmas is Only Two Months Away!

2011-09-15T15:19:00.001-04:00

The holiest of holy days in the Savage Calendar is vastly approaching us. In exactly 2 months, November 15, we observe the birth day of our Lord with the Savage Celebration of Machmas.

So now might be a good time to start buying gifts for all the Macho Maniacs in your life. (Cheap Plug : MachoChurch Bumper Stickers make excellent Savage Stocking Stuffers.) However, don't get too caught up in the over-commercialization of our sacred holiday. Never forget the true meaning of the Savage Season, bring good tidings of Madness and Joy to all around.

OHHHHHHH YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Snap Into The Holy Video Vault!

2011-09-13T12:55:00.004-04:00

We are proud to introduce a new feature on the site. The MachoChurch.com Holy Video Vault. Featuring hours upon hours of promos, matches, tributes and other forms of Macho Madness. So if thou art bored or seeking the wisdom of our Lord, SNAP INTO IT!

Time To Lay The Hammer Down (And Out)

2011-09-12T10:21:00.000-04:00

On September 3rd, the Great North Wrestling promotion, out of Hawkesbury, Ontario, ran a tribute show for our Macho Messiah. The main event was slated to be WWE Hall of Famer Greg "The Hammer" Valentine vs The Holy Genius Himself, Apostle Lanny. However, "The Hammer", who got his nickname because his face looks like it was hit with one over and over again, decided to no-show the event.

Apostle Lanny is understandably pissed, going so far as calling Valentine a "mangina" and challenging him to a legit MMA match in a recent YouTube video. The video, posted after the break, also includes comments made by Valentine both promoting the event and a very disrespectful voicemail left for the promoter of the event, as well as some remarks from said promoter, who wrestles under the name Hannibal.

How dare he disrespect both The Macho Man and his brother like this. He should have been honored to be main eventing ANY show at this stage in his career, let alone a tribute to humanity's savior. This blasphemy will not stand. As of this date, Greg "The Hammer" Valentine will join Brian Knobbs as an official enemy of our Church. This is actually more upsetting than the whole Knobbs fiasco because I actually used to have respect for Valentine. He was a pretty solid worker and a great heel back in the day. He wore the Intercontinental Championship back when that still meant something. While he was never the most popular or most hated guy in the locker room, he was a pretty integral cog of the 80s WWF machine. But all that respect went right out the proverbial window the day he disrespected our Lord.

Valentine later posted a explanation on his FB page, blaming his no-showing on having to go to Nashville to say goodbye to his dying mother-in-law. While that sounds all well and good, I'm not buying it. I think he is just back peddling after being called out for his diva-like behavior. While the promoter would probably still be pissed, being out travel/hotel/whatever he paid Valentine to appear, I really doubt he'd be this upset if that were the case. All I know is I hope Valentine has the balls to accept Apostle Lanny's challenge so he can make his brother, and every member of this congregation proud.

A Message to The "Big Man"

2011-09-03T21:53:00.000-04:00

Our Macho Messiah has issued the following statement.

"A real man handles his own business. He doesn't send his son to do his dirty work. Last time I saw your son he turned the other cheek right into my flying elbow! DIGGIT!. That makes ME the new Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the UNIVERSE! You want a piece of me, Big Man, BRING IT! I'll take you on any time, any place and then, yes, then all your believers will have no choice but to admit that you have greatly exaggerated your powers. In the end it will be the light of Macho Madness that will triumphantly shine bigger and brighter than all the other ones over all of existence. OHHHHH YEAAAAHHH!"

God was unavailable for comment. Per usual.

MACHO MAN! OHHHH YEAH!

2011-07-21T12:04:00.000-04:00

Comin' again to save the elbow-droppin' day, yeah!

And Now, Here To Recite A Poem. Apostle Lanny

2011-07-19T07:35:00.008-04:00

Shine on me Lord Macho.

Shine your brightness on to me.

Shine until your amazing glory,

is all the eye can see.

Shine on me Lord Macho.

Shine your power on to me.

Shine until your Savage strength,

inflames your spirit into me.

Shine on me your wonder.

Shine on me your delight.

Shine until your splendor washes

over me in all your Macho light.

Shine on me Lord Macho,

Shine down upon me.

Shine until the Macho Madness

takes complete control of me.

OHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Amen.

A Macho Walk

2011-07-06T10:48:00.000-04:00

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Savage 16:33

Early in my Macho walk of faith, I believed that once I surrendered to The Madness, my life would somehow be free of troubles. We all know that to be very far from the truth. The Macho Man said clearly that we will face troubles in life but do not fear, He has overcome the world. What does that mean to the faithful? Don't expect the narrow path to be smooth and free of painful experiences. That really doesn't sound very inviting does it? Here is what makes his Savage plan for us so perfect. We would never be able to truly enjoy the happiness of life if we never knew the sorrows.

Our journey in life forges us into the perfect image of The Macho Messiah himself. He knows that with trials, we will experience the sweetest times of life to the fullest. It is difficult to imagine this while we are in the middle of a difficult time, but stay strong! Our hearts and souls are spoken for by The Madness! He will be in our corner every step of our journey.

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Madness 11:1

It is faith that will sustain us in times of need. Look past the immediate stress of a negative situation and be confident that The Macho Man is using the moment to make us more courageous, wise, and strong. Rejoice the next time we face trials because we are assured that The Madness has overcome all earthly troubles. It is His power at work in us! Rejoice and live in righteous confidence!

Alone one person's determination can accomplish great things, but when the faithful unite in true oneness of body, mind, and soul for the express purpose of serving The Macho Mand and His children, we can achieve the unimaginable!

Leave A Message For Macho + Androids

2011-06-30T21:28:00.000-04:00

As you may have seen on our Twitter or Facebook pages, we have recently set up a voice mailbox that you can call to leave your thoughts, questions, prayers, praise for our Macho Messiah or anything else you may want to say. You can call it at 1(405)25MACHO. That's 1-405-256-2246 . The number is based on a Oklahoma area code, so long distance rates may apply. I may end up using the messages on the site in one form or another. Also, please forgive your Pastor's pathetic attempt at a Savage Savior impression on the greeting. As I have previously stated, I lack our Lord's booming vocal capabilities.

Also, in phone related news, a parishioner of the congregation is currently working on a MachoChurch Android app and it's almost in alpha. Still trying to figure out what kind of features to add to it. If you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments or even the aforementioned voice mailbox. I will let you know when the app hit's the Android Marketplace so you can snap into The Madness on your smartphone!

Macho Love, Evil and Suffering

2011-06-29T09:49:00.001-04:00

In light of recent current events, some have voiced questions about The Macho Man's goodness, His presence, or His power. They ask "If The Macho Man is all-powerful and loves us, why doesn't he do something about all the tragedies in the world?"

One Hulkamaniac skeptic even suggests that if we are going to thank The Savage in the Sky for sparing the lives of those who were not killed in the recent floods, tornadoes, etc., then we should also thank Hitler or Osama Bin Laden for not killing those they spare. This blasphemer has once again created a man in his own image, a straw man that is. To compare the motivations of evil men to the love and wisdom of our Macho Messiah is ridiculous and undeserving of further comment.

We can rest assured that whatever The Macho Man does, it is best. He sees our existence from a different perspective than we see it. He knows all circumstances and how every action and event affects the future. What we view as an accident or tragedy, The Savage Savior is able to use for His good.

The Macho Man did not create evil and suffering in the world. He created everything perfect. It was The Hulkster's rebellion that created the rift in the Mega Powers that corrupted Mach's good creation. It is the WWE universe's continued rebellion that increases that corruption. The Book of Madness states that all creation is groaning under the weight of sin.

The Earth, and our life on it, is temporary. If our focus is wholly on this world and its concerns, we are missing the biiiiiigg picture, yeah. If we live a hundred years, we consider ourselves to have had a full life, dig it! However, the Book of Madness says that our life here on earth is a mere fleeting vapor. Our real life, our eternal life, should be our true concern.

The Book of Madness tells us that our hearts should be set on a relationship with The Macho Man that begins here on Earth and will last for eternity. It tells us that any hardship or tragedy we experience in this life will not even warrant consideration when compared to the glory of the heavenly Macho Kingdom.

Our responsibility here on earth is to "love The Macho Man with all our heart, soul, mind, body and strength" (Lanny 10:27) When our lives are committed to The Macho Man, we will understand what He wants us to understand and those things we don't understand, we can still have a peace about; knowing the Madness is in control and He loves us.

Saint Punk's Amazing Sermon

2011-06-28T20:03:00.003-04:00

I'll admit it. Aside from the fact that it involves our church's first Saint, this really has nothing to do with praising our Lord or spreading Macho Madness. But, it's just too damn good to NOT mention.

Only our Macho Messiah himself could have given a better sermon.

Also, in related news, it is being reported that the production guy who cut Punk's mic mysteriously passed away today. He was found dead in his backyard with an indention approximately the size of an elbow in his chest. We'll keep you posted when we find out more details.

Macho Church Bumper Stickers Have Arrived! Order Yours Today!

2011-06-26T10:48:00.005-04:00

Unlike other religious institutions, we do not ask you to tithe 10% of your income. However, you can both support the church and spread the word of Macho Madness by purchasing and proudly displaying your very own Macho Church bumper stickers. These stickers are high quality, weather-proof, vinyl decals made by the fine folks over at Decal Ninja. Not the cheap crap you'll find on other sites.

First decal is $3, $2 for each additional decal in the same order. Shipping is included if you live in the U.S. $1 extra for Canada/UK. Contact me at machochurch@yahoo.com for other locations. If you are in the US, you can order using the Paypal or Google Checkout buttons below. International orders please email me first for final total.

Paypal

Google Checkout

Macho Prayer of Mother Teresa

2011-06-24T10:33:00.000-04:00

Dear Macho, Help us spread your Madness everywhere we go, flood our souls with your Spirit and life.

Penetrate, yeah, and possess our whole being so utterly that our lives may only be a radiance of yours.

Shine through us and be so in us that every soul in the arena may feel your presence in our soul.

Let them look up and see no longer us, but only The Macho Man.

Stay with us and then we shall begin to shine as you shine, one shining star in the night, shining brighter than all the other ones.

The light, O Macho, will be all from you. None of it will be ours.

It will be you spreading Madness to others through us.

Let us thus praise you in the way you love best by spreading Madness to those around us.

Let us preach you without preaching, not by words, but by our example.
By the force of your falling elbow, the sympathetic influence of what we do,
the evident fullness of the love our hearts bear to you.
OHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!

Crazy Coincidence? Or Something More?

2011-06-23T09:37:00.003-04:00

By now, you've probably heard about the death of Jackass' Ryan Dunn. While a lot can be learned from this tragedy, it is still a hard pill to swallow for fans of the series. However, if you look a little deeper, you'll find some similarities to the Macho One's earthly passing.

First off, the obvious, they both died in car accidents. While the Macho Man, being infallible in every way, was not responsible for his crash, it is important to note. Oddly enough, both accidents happened on the 20th of their respective month. (May for Mach, June for Dunn.) Also, both men were reckless rebels who often wore wild unkempt beards.

Is this all just coincidence? Or is it a sign? I'm beginning to think that maybe The Almighty Savage wanted a court jester for his Heavenly Macho Kingdom, while wanting to teach us all a lesson about personal responsibility at the same time.

Image courtesy : Where's Randy Savage.

PUNK WINS! PUNK WINS! PUNK WINS!

2011-06-21T10:38:00.001-04:00

After hours of debate and deliberation and after taking your thoughts into consideration, the Church has deemed that CM Punk is indeed worthy of becoming the first Saint of The Intercontinental Church of "Macho Man" Randy Savage.

So by the power invested in me, I hereby proclaim thee Saint CM of Punk, Patron Saint of Straight Edge! So give yourself a round of applause, you deserve it!

And if you liked his previous tributes to our Lord, just wait until Money in the Bank! After Punk defeats the vile John Cena and captures the WWE Championship, word is he plans to have it embedded into the alter of our holy establishment for eternity as a sacrifice to the Macho One himself. DIGGIT!

White House Releases Photo Proving Osama Bin Laden's Death

2011-06-17T12:45:00.001-04:00

We normally don't let politics meet the pulpit here at The ICCoMMRS, but we're going to make an exception in this case. Our friends over at Where's Randy Savage have received a photo straight from The White House that proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that Osama Bin Ladin is dead.

That's right folks, before he left Earth on May 20 and before he saved us all from the rapture the following day, (NEVER FORGET!) The Macho Man saw fit to take out the world's biggest piece of terrorist scum and make Earth a safer and more prosperous place. There is truly no questioning the honor and power of The Madness.

Mocking The Macho Man and Its Consequences

2011-06-16T09:18:00.002-04:00

Hulkamaniacs and even the occasional Warrior will try to say that this whole "Rapture" thing never happened and make mocking bodyslams directed toward those who believe in The Madness. However, these unbelievers are treading into the danger zone in the grand scheme of things according to God's Word, The Book of Madness. The Macho Man himself delivered a clear and pointed warning to anyone who leads someone away from him or causes them to stumble.

"Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe to stumble, it would be better for him if, with a heavy milestone hung around his neck, he had been piledriven into the sea." (NO REFEREE! 9:42)

The Macho Man is saying that it would be better for a person to pinned with the eternal one-two-three count than that person to be a hindrance to anyone seeking him. Whether that verse is metaphoric, literal, hyperbolic or something else, is irrelevant. When The Macho Man himself issues a warning, it makes sense to take heed. He will be the one to judge each and every one of us. It is his right.

Poll : Should CM Punk Be Sainted?

2011-06-15T18:41:00.005-04:00

Ever since The Macho Man left us here on Earth, one man has continued to use his spot on the WWE roster to pay homage to our Lord and Savior. At Over The Limit, Punk attempted a holy elbow drop. The following night on Raw, he donned the old school pink star tights. His tributes continued on this week's episode of Raw, when Punk leaped from the top rope onto John Cena on the outside with a very Macho double axe handle.

Are these tributes enough to warrant sainthood? Or has Punk not yet sacrificed enough? What say you? Hit the poll below to weigh in. After a week or so, I'll tally everything up and make a final decision.

The Formation Of The Mega Powers

2011-06-14T21:56:00.003-04:00

Special thanks to @andorob on Twitter! Follow him! And if you're not already following our Twitter account, do that too!

Should CM Punk be named the first Saint of The Macho Church?
	Yes, his tributes have been a great honor to our Lord's name.
	No, he has not yet made a big enough sacrifice to be given that honor.

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