The Internet is a magical place.

Sorry

2010-09-04T00:14:00.001-07:00

I haven't made a post in a few days as I have been busy with work. I'll put up a new post tomorrow.

Badass Presidents

2010-08-27T11:56:00.000-07:00

http://www.cracked.com/article_15895_the-5-most-badass-presidents-all-time_p2.html

One of my favorite cracked articles. Heres my favorite president of the 5.

John F Kennedy

Nowadays, John F. Kennedy is remembered mostly for getting shot in the head which, while admittedly badass, barely makes the top ten of badass things he's ever done. Plagued with a bad back his entire life, Kennedy was disqualified from service in the army. Instead of using this as an excuse to pursue the decidedly more sane strategy of staying the fuck away from explody things, Kennedy had his dad pull a few strings so he could sneak his way into the navy, where he eventually became a lieutenant. Just to get some perspective, Bill Clinton dodged the draft, Grover Cleveland paid someone else to go in his place when he was drafted, but Kennedy beat the system by forcing his way into the navy. Once there he handled himself like a gravel eating shit-miner, instead of the rich Boston pretty boy he actually was.

Today, he's got his own damned aircraft carrier named after him.

The USS John F Kennedy can launch 80 planes and can single-handedly win a war with most countries on Earth

Upon leaving the Navy, he took up boning on a near full-time basis. Sure, he dabbled in being a Senator and a President or whatever, but his full-time job was Pimping. In fact, if boning-your-girlfriend-right-in-front-of-you was a business, you can bet your cuckolded ass that Kennedy would have been its District Manager.

While almost no two sources are in agreement as to just how much tail Kennedy snagged, historian John Richard Stephens says that "Kennedy confided with friends that he could only be satisfied with three women a day." It's amazing that, with all this boning, Kennedy didn't lose focus and make any colossal screw-ups while in office, and-...What? Bay of what? Moving on.

JFK's sexual conquests allegedly include Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn, Jayne Mansfield, Angie Dickenson, Brazilian actress Florinda Bolkan, famous burlesque stripper, and rap name pioneer Blaze Starr. There are even rumors that he also had sex with his insanely hot wife once in a while too.

Greatest Display of Badassedry:
In August of 1943, while serving as skipper of the PT-109, Kennedy's boat was ripped in two by the Japanese destroyer Amagiri. Kennedy and his crew were tossed into the water and surrounded by flames. Kennedy, despite a chronic back injury and an even more chronic boning-induced-exhaustion, managed to swim four hours to safety while towing an injured crewman by the life jacket strap with his teeth. His fucking teeth!

Most Badass Quote:
"Jack could be shameless in his sexuality, simply pull girls' dresses up and so forth. He would corner them at White House dinner parties and ask them to step into the next room away from the noise, where they could hold a 'serious discussion.'"

That quote comes from Kennedy's closest friend, Lem Billings. For proof that you will never be as badass and pimpsational as Kennedy, go ahead and try that "Hey baby, let's go have a serious discussion" line on any girl and then come back and tell us how much sex you didn't have.

ICED COFEEEEE

2010-08-27T00:17:00.001-07:00

Delicious Iced Coffee. Om nom nom.

Standard Iced Coffee

Brew a pot of fresh coffee using 2 tablespoons of dark-roasted ground coffee per cup.

Transfer the hot coffee to a carafe or pitcher.

Let the coffee stand at room temperature for 3 to 5 hours, or refrigerate it until cold, about 1 1/2 to 3 hours.

Fill a tall glass with ice cubes.

Pour the chilled coffee into the glass.

Stir the coffee to equalize its temperature. Add milk if you like.

Quick Iced Coffee

Brew a pot of fresh coffee using 3 to 4 tablespoons of dark-roasted ground coffee per cup.

Add sugar to the hot coffee if you would like to sweeten the whole pot of coffee; it will dissolve more easily in hot coffee than in iced coffee.

Fill tall, plastic (not glass!) glasses with ice cubes and pour the hot coffee over them.

Epic Cracked Article.

2010-08-27T00:14:00.001-07:00

http://www.cracked.com/article_18717_6-massive-secret-operations-that-are-hidden-all-around-you.html

Thought this was interesting, check it out.

Second set of Tour dates.

2010-08-26T23:24:00.001-07:00

All the good ones are sold out. WRYYYYYYY

NOVEMBER 2010

November 1 2010CLUB QUATTRO NAGOYA, NAGOYA
November 10 2010CAMPO PEQUENO, LISBON
November 11 2010COLISEUM PORTO, PORTO
November 12 2010LA RIVIERA, MADRID
November 13 2010RAZZMATAZZ, BARCELONA
November 15 2010FOREST NATIONAL, BRUSSELS
November 17 2010LE ZENITH, PARIS
November 18 2010COLUMBIA HALLE, BERLIN
November 20 2010TONHALLE MUNICH, MUNICH
November 21 2010STAHLWERK, DUSSELDORF
November 23 2010HEINEKEN MUSIC HALL, AMSTERDAM
November 25 2010BLACKPOOL EMPRESS BALLROOM ARENA, BLACKPOOL
w/ Ratatat
November 26 2010WOLVERHAMPTON CIVIC HALL BAR, WOLVERHAMPTON
w/ Ratatat
November 28 2010EDINBURGH CORN EXCHANGE, EDINBURGH
w/ Ratatat
November 29 2010SHEFFIELD 02 ACADEMY, SHEFFIELD
w/ Ratatat SOLD OUT

DECEMBER 2010

December 1 2010BRIGHTON CENTRE, BRIGHTON
w/ Ratatat
December 2 2010ALEXANDRA PALACE, LONDON
w/ Laura Marling, Ratatat SOLD OUT
December 3 2010ALEXANDRA PALACE, LONDON
w/ Janelle Monae, Ratatat
December 5 2010O2 ARENA, DUBLIN
w/ Arcade Fire
December 6 2010O2 ARENA, DUBLIN
w/ Arcade Fire

Tour Dates

2010-08-26T23:08:00.000-07:00