There are plenty of events in the world that cause heartfelt, even essential, sadnesses. Events of the cycle of life. Events of the world. We would not be fully  human if we thought or acted as if these negative emotions were bad or inappropriate.

But the gratuitous and time-wasting negativity that saps energy and creativity from many writers can be changed, harnessed into a more optimistic and positive attitude that opens the brain, and broadens and builds problem-solving capacities, creativity, even vocabulary.

Yesterday a new study revealed that the presence of a wide variety of positive emotions seems to be heart-health protective.

The research confirmed that it’s not enough to not feel depressed. Apparently we must experience positive emotions in order to get the benefits.  And because they are fleeting, if you want to keep positive emotions in your life, you must search them out or create them.

One of my favorite ways of doing that is by disputing negative self-talk. You’ll see that in my list below, but do recall that learning how to dispute may not come easily. Each step, in fact, may take you time and a fair amount of energy.

So take the time you need. And ask for help if you feel stuck.

I leave you for a month’s blog vacation (although I’ll be happy to answer questions and comments) with an index of posts to serve as reminders and review. I wish you a rest-of-summer time that helps you on your journey towards positivity. And if you are having a hard time right now, that doesn’t exclude you – because being gentle with  yourself during hard times is always the very first step on that journey.

These posts will take you back over the essential steps of creating and maintaining a more positive attitude in the face of adversities of your writer’s life:

1. Where to Start

2. Your Very First Step – No, Even Before That One

3. Learn Your Self-Talk Style

4. How to Dispute Negative Self-Talk

5. Tips for Catching  Your Negativity Spiral

Here’s to journeying!

If you’re a writer who’s faced self-doubt, failure, rejection, and despair you may know how difficult it becomes to maintain hope. Hope that someday someone will pay you for your writing and others will read your words and be moved and changed.

And you may know from  your own experience, and this blog, the work it takes for many writers to create and keep resilience. That means not developing a “tough” skin (if you’re a reader of mine, you know I’m not big on “tough skin”) but an elastic one. An elastic mind, heart and soul that can (learn to) bounce back in the face of adversity.

It’s foolish to pretend that it doesn’t matter if we get published or not. But when it’s the only focus – as if it will end the negativity – it can become a driving force for even more negativity. And if it’s not happening soon enough for you, there’s no where to turn that negativity except on yourself.

You can’t learn to be more resilient because the only thing that matters is “the facts” – i.e., you’re not getting published and that’s “bad”. You can’t live in the moment and get satisfaction and meaning from your writer’s journey because publication is essential, psychologically or financially, or both.

One thing I’ve learned in my own writer’s journey is the absence of control I have over most factors necessary to publication. I’ve chosen to focus on the one thing I can absolutely control – the quality of my work.

And I’ve learned other facts. Most writers have income sources other than their writing, from a spouse and/or another profession or job. If you need an income from your writing, it’s incumbent upon you to explore freelance or contract possibilities.

I say this in the most caring way I’m able: tell yourself the truth about whether you might be feeling a little sorry for yourself…as if you deserve more than what you’re getting. There’s no shame in it; it’s normal. It’s just not helpful. And really? It’s not true. Nobody “deserves” or “doesn’t deserve.”

When we feel sorry for ourselves, we talk to ourselves in negative ways – and that just solidifies the closure on creativity, energy and action.

I’ll say it again: your brain reacts to how you talk to yourself.

So…If you think you should quit writing because you’re not getting published, you need to disconnect your writing from publication.

Do it by challenging yourself with this provocative question: If I knew for sure that I would never be published in any way, shape or form, would I stop writing?

If the answer is “no”, think or write about the following without ever referring to being published:

• Why must I write? What is inside me that absolutely must come out via the written word?
• How do I feel when and after writing?
• How do I feel when I don’t write for awhile? Why do I return to it?

These aren’t easy questions. They’re private, often intense. If you can’t answer them yourself, and you’re struggling with these issues, please reach out for help.

Because I think the only reason to quit is if you don’t have to write. If you need income, join the mobs of writers who work to bring in money and keep health insurance, and write in the wee hours of the morning, or late at night. The ability to tell yourself the truth about what you need to do should be a positive thing, not a self-punishment.

Nothing I’ve learned over all the years I’ve been alive, no way I’ve come to change or develop, has replaced the need to put what’s deep inside me into written words.

And it’s that knowledge – and trust of myself and my need to make sense of my inner world – that keeps me on this difficult and wonderful journey.

How about you?

Jenny is the author of the young adult novel QUEEN OF SECRETS which the Horn Book called “a powerful story.” She is also the author of the humorous chapter book THIRD GRADE BABY. Jenny lives in Riverwoods, Illinois with her husband and three children.

THE IRREPRESSIBLE WRITER: What are the specific difficulties you have struggled (continue to struggle) with as part of your writing journey?

Well, first there is simply getting myself to start writing. This is often a daily challenge and I think my biggest challenge. It’s so easy to procrastinate to the point where there isn’t enough time left in the day to get any actual writing done. After that, the thing I have the most trouble with is when a book is released and all the turbulent emotions that go along with that. I find the process (which I’ve only gone through twice) makes me feel extremely raw and vulnerable.

As for the stuff in between, the point I get to with each manuscript where I believe it cannot be fixed, or that I’m not good enough to fix it…well for today at least I feel as though I’m at a point in my writing journey where I can understand and recognize that as a stage in the process even while I’m in it. (Although I’m not in it right now, so that answer might be different if you ask me a few months from now.)

TIW: How have you handled these difficulties? What helps? What doesn’t help?

The getting started with writing is one that I am always looking for new ways to handle. At the moment, working with a timer has been extremely helpful. I set the timer to the amount of time, push go and write without break until it goes off. I used to do an hour but lately have tried the Pomodoro Technique which advocates repeat sessions of 25 minutes with varying breaks between and I think that works really well for me. But ultimately I think it’s about fostering the habit of writing for me. When I get into a groove writing everyday it’s much easier to stay in the groove. When life gets in the way for more than a few days it’s very hard to get back into my writing zone.

Alas, I haven’t solved this problem for myself yet. The best I can do is not beat myself up about it and do the best I can.

Now for the challenges of a book release: I don’t think I’m quite as far along in dealing with this one. The whole process really throws me for a loop, the extremes of ego inflation and deflation are exhausting and completely useless, actually. Neither can help me grow as a writer. I try as best I can to keep distance between my self and my work but other than repeating that as a mantra and turning off Google alerts, I’m not sure I’ve figured out to much about how to deal with the sense of exposure it provokes in me. Hopefully I’ll get a lot more chances to grow and learn about it in the future.

TIW: What is the single most important part of your life (this could be a phrase, a person, a group) that helps you reinforce your resilience as a writer?

I don’t know if I can point to one single thing. What helps me get through is always different depending on the day, the thought, the issue. But one thing I’ve learned in recent years that I do think has been extremely valuable has to do with the nature of thoughts and feelings.

First, thoughts are just thoughts, not truths and that they can be examined and disputed. This might sounds obvious, but it wasn’t until recently that I learned if I had the thought “this writing is terrible” that I didn’t just have to believe it. I could respond to my own thought. “This is a first draft, I’m just exploring the story right now not writing perfect sentences.”

Second, feelings are transient. When I feel low about a review I know that I’m only going to feel that way for an hour or so and then I will feel better. This again might seem obvious, but I truly used to think that if I felt bad about something, I would feel that way forever. Knowing that I won’t makes it much easier to get through it.

TIW: How do you see (or not see) your own beliefs about and/or experience with resilience figuring into your characters or stories? Do you want to highlight aspects of resilience deliberately? or do you find that resilience is simply part of how our characters have to evolve in order to create strong stories?

I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about it in terms of my characters. After the fact I can certainly look at my stories and see that some characters have more resilience than others, or how lack of resilience caused problems in characters lives, but I think this is something that just comes about naturally. Stories are about big moments in character’s lives, changes and conflicts, so how resilient a character is has to come in to play, but I’d prefer to let this evolve organically rather than try to demonstrate or teach.

TIW: Thanks for sharing so much with us, Jenny. You validate so many important points – that feelings are transient; that not beating yourself up is always Step One; that negative self-talk is often not true, and can and should be challenged; and that maintaining resilience is a journey. Best of luck with QUEEN OF SECRETS and your future work!

A few weeks ago, I returned to Kerry Madden’s Maggie Valley Books, GENTLE’S HOLLER;   LOUISIANA’S SONG; and JESSIE’S MOUNTAIN.

After reading the first when it came out several years ago, I bought it and then next two volumes. I knew I’d want to read them all again and again.

Have you read Kerry’s Maggie Valley books?

Livy Two Weems and her big, loving (and scrappy) family have plenty of serious trouble, but always in the context of the solidity of a connected, strong family unit. If you’ve somehow missed these books, you’ve missed three beautifully-written tapestries of Appalachian life with contemporary and universal appeal, a main character of great depth and resilience in Livy Two, and a large supporting cast you come to know and love.

It’s not only Kerry’s  heart-wrenching, human, funny, loving stories that offer comfort and an influx of positive emotions. The writing is inspired and inspiring.

The narrator, Livy Two Weems, is a young songwriter, and her voice sings. The narrative and dialogue is musical and full of color, the descriptions so complete, internal life so open, actions so clear, that I see the story unfold as a film in my mind’s eye every time I read.

So by re-reading, I get not only the pleasure and comfort I may need at the time, but I gather inspiration for my writing life.

Kerry’s strong plot, lyrical language, intense and detailed descriptions and captivating voice motivate me to bring that same beauty to my own work, in my own way.  Her ability to create a dozen (or more!) substantial, individualized characters amazes me!

Because I’m such a fan, I also enjoy connecting with the author at her website (oh, how I love that song!) and her blog, where she writes about the writing life, and her stories of the writing journey that validate and encourage my own.

And speaking of favorite novels, Kerry’s biography of my very  favorite novelist came out last year, too! It’s the only Harper Lee biography written for children and young adults, and it’s wonderful.

Reaching out for help is one key factor in maintaining resilience. Do you have a book that comforts and inspires you during difficult times?

I’d love to hear about it here at The Irrepressible Writer…

A good writing conference is invaluable for positivity-creating experiences, and I had the good fortune to attend the magnificent Illinois-SCBWI Words In The Woods 2010 retreat/conference this past weekend.

You can read about the benefits of attending conferences in many places, but my interest here is how you can use a conference to stoke up your positivity ratio
and build your upward spiral (not to mention nip your downward spiral in the bud!).

Of course, to benefit from the impact of positivity on the brain (broadening and building your intellectual and emotional capacities – creativity, problem-solving, resilience and more) you’ll want to attend in a fairly positive state of mind.  So if you’re frightened, worried or generally in a “down” time, pre-conference is the time to really work hard at disputing your negative thoughts so that you begin the conference in an open, eager frame of mind.

Words in the Woods offered a perfect format of large-group presentations, small-group critique sessions, time to write, critique group meetings with our guest author, editor and agent, and informal one-on-one conversations, thanks to the generosity of the guests and respect of the participants. Why does the conference format matter? Because it stimulates the brain in different ways, creating opportunities for different types of experiences.

And each of those circulate positive experience and emotion – and therefore keep the brain flowing with creative juices. These are the words that come to mind when I recall the weekend:  listening and learning, laughing, writing-talk, problem-solving, questions, questions answered, interest, compassion, commitment, work, love, life.

Not a negative word in the bunch. The result? An inward flow of positivity that will result in a wonderful writing week for me, I’m sure.

But positivity comes and goes, so I’ll try to hold on to it with a blog entry, pictures on my desktop (this one’s the hall-wall’s spread of affirming writing beliefs and practices – even looking at the picture creates a positive rush), and staying connected to the old and new friends who represent the positive aspects of our difficult and rewarding writing life.

Because as Kathi Appelt said, “When you’re doing your life’s work, your life works.”

Wouldn’t you agree?

Why? Because for most of us, creating and maintaining positive thoughts and emotions requires thinking. And when our brains are cluttered with worries, self-doubt, internal and external expectations, and more, it’s hard to think clearly. Challenging negative thinking may take too much time or energy. But then you feel stuck in negativity.

What to do? Here’s one option…

In POSITIVITY, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson writes about National Geographic photographer Dewitt Jones’ video that explores the impact of asking certain questions to create positive emotions. You don’t have to feel like asking yourself the questions in order to benefit. Persist in asking them in spite of how you feel: What’s going right for me right now? What’s working for me right now?

Say it out loud.

Write it on a post-it and put it where you’ll notice.

Ask yourself repeatedly until you get an answer.

And yes, anything that’s going right is fine, even the tiniest thing. See if the persistent question nudges you into even a bit of positive emotion.

There may be times when even asking yourself these questions feels too hard…but sometimes having one single tool can help you move even a tiny bit forward.

But yesterday a soft-serve ice cream cone brought me unexpected and to-be-savored moments during a difficult time. My husband, a chocolate milkshake lover, said he was heading out to Dairy Queen. It was a beautiful day in Chicago, I’d hit a lull in the work I was doing, and I know my husband enjoys my company.

Once at Dairy Queen, I decided to have a small vanilla cone. The minute I took a lick, I knew it was the flavor of Kiddieland.

Kiddieland, a recently-closed children’s amusement park, was an integral part of my growing up in Oak Park, Illinois.

There, I had my first (and much beloved) tastes of the Tilt-A-Whirl, driving a mini-tractor, the thrilling carousel, the train ride around the park, and my first crush, the Little Dipper roller coaster. And the vanilla soft-serve ice cream.

Memories – mostly images, smells and tastes – poured into my mind. I shared them with my husband. We leaned against the car in the lovely spring sunlight and chatted as if we had no cares, and the world was sweet and fine.

Even in the most difficult of times, being open to the sweetness of life can create positive emotions.

How does that connect to being a resilient writer? This morning I’ll bring the positivity of the senses, memories and connectedness of yesterday into my revisions, and my character’s journey.

Food, or other pleasures of the five senses, can be powerful positive-memory triggers that help our lives, and our writing. Have you had such experiences, ones that beg for being attended to and inject positivity into a difficult day?

And yet I will write today – enter revisions into my  netbook (a recent purchase that caused an influx of positive emotion) in the shade at the Chicago Botanic Gardens (an environment that deeply nurtures my soul).

But I will not forget the helplessness that I feel in relation to the state of the world. It is the one area of life in which optimism may not be realistic, certainly not heartfelt. But Herbert’s pinpointing of helplessness as linked to despair is pinpoint-accurate.

And long ago Martin Seligman pinpointed learned helplessness as one of the crucial problems in what he perceived to be an epidemic of childhood depression.

That’s about all I have to say today. If you are reading this, you have the intellect, and emotional perceptiveness, to read between the lines and link the dots.

Sometimes we just have to do the best we can.

In addition, though, Kathi’s responses to my questions are superb examples of the creative brain’s response to negative and positive thinking and emotion. You’ll see one after the other example of the decision to learn and think in heartfelt positive ways, and its direct result – opening the brain to the capacities and strengths that fuel good writing.

Kathi is a graduate of the Vermont College MFA Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. In addition to writing, she works part-time as an occupational therapist. In the past, she has worked with teens in crisis and has publications in a variety of occupational therapy journals and books. Currently, she lives with her husband, son and their cat in Oak Park, Illinois. SHATTERED is her debut novel.

Of special note:

Kathi will be signing copies of SHATTERED at Borders in Oak Park (1144 Lake St.) on Saturday, June 5th, at 2 PM.

She’ll be presenting at the  Southeast Wisconsin Festival of Books on June 18-19 at the University of  Wisconsin-Waukesha.

THE IRREPRESSIBLE WRITER: What are the specific difficulties you have struggled (continue to struggle) with as part of your writing journey? Be as specific as possible, please.

Over the years, I’ve struggled with a number of things. One is self-doubt. The negative thoughts that seep into my brain: what if this is a stupid thing to write about? or what if this is a dumb direction to take the novel?

Another difficulty is when life gets in the way, like when my in-laws each went through heart surgery or when my son was treated with chemotherapy for a rare kidney disease. Even though I was there helping, and in my son’s situation, managing his care, I still had pockets of time to write. But I was distracted, worried and scared and it’s challenging to be creative when you’re feeling like that.

Lastly, the very nature of the publishing business is an ongoing test of my patience. We writers send stuff out and might not hear back for a year. Once an editor actually responded to my submission 15 months from the time I sent her my manuscript. Also, when the replies finally come, there’s a lot more of “No” than there is “Yes, I’d love to publish you!”

All of these struggles have forced me into a process of survival—of learning to keep my spirits up. When any or all of these challenges take me into my negativity, it’s dangerous because I stop feeling inspired and in this state, nothing interesting shows up on the page. Or worse, it effects my motivation to work, leaving me with a blank page.

TIW: How have you handled these difficulties? What helps? What doesn’t help?

In terms of self doubt, it really helped to complete the Vermont College MFA Program in Writing for Children and Young Adults. There I learned that ideas are worth exploring. So maybe the novel would be better in present tense than past like it’s currently written in. Instead of getting stuck in self-doubt, I’ve learned to try a chapter in present tense and to trust myself when I finally make a judgment call regarding which direction to pursue.

Also, I’ve learned the value of trusting other writers to give me feedback. I might be feeling unsure about a character, but when I give it to my critique group and they have favorable things to say about that person, it gives me a boost to continue developing the character. Or if they’re not on board with the character, I trust them and either give up on the character or use their helpful suggestions to do a better job of conveying that character.

When I’m experiencing tough life situations, I’m gentle with myself and just try to encourage myself to get some stuff down on the page. I tell myself anything at all will do. Usually something comes and I’m able to go with it. Stories are compelling. In this way, writing a story has a sort of healing property because I usually feel this pull to go forward to find something out, or to see the character through something.

In terms of the publishing business, I’ve had to come up with some strategies for coping with it, because I do want to be a part of it. One is I try to have a number of submissions out there, like entering short story contests, submitting stories or non-fiction essays to literary journals, and submitting my novels. Each is an opportunity to hope, as well as a way to knock on different doors.

Also, I don’t send anything out unless I have alternative places to send it. So when it comes back as a rejection, I don’t have to think about where to submit next. I give myself 24 hours to feel sad, disappointed, upset and then I make myself send it right back out there. In this way, I honor how I feel about the rejection, but prevent myself from getting into a negative state.

Finally, I keep a gratitude journal, meaning at the end of each day, I try to write down 5 positive things in that day. In this way, I keep my mind in good spirits, which supports my creativity.

What doesn’t help is letting myself sit with the disappointment for too long of a time, because it moves into negativity. That’s why I have the 24-hour rule for myself. After 24 hours, I have to let it go. Interestingly, I usually get bored after about 21 hours with feeling blue. I’m ready to move on. So I capitalize on that by sending out the manuscript to another place.

TIW: What is the single most important part of your life (this could be a phrase, a person, a group) that helps you reinforce your resilience as a writer?

Most important to me is my little family: my husband, son and cat. I tell them right away when a rejection letter has arrived. My husband usually hugs me. My son tells me he’s sorry. I sit with them and hold my cat. I talk about what I was hoping for and what is lost. Usually this is for just a few minutes. Not being alone and also, feeling loved balances out the sadness. I know that an opportunity is lost but I still have them. It puts it all into perspective.

TIW: How do you see (or not see) your own beliefs about and/or experience with resilience figuring into your characters or stories? Do you want to highlight aspects of resilience deliberately? or do you find that resilience is simply part of how our characters have to evolve in order to create strong stories?

While writing one of the drafts of my young adult novel, Shattered, my son was going through chemo. I remember feeling so stressed out about his illness while trying to write Cassie (the main character) beyond her dad breaking her violin. At one point, I paused and thought we both need to develop some resilience!

I wasn’t sure how to develop it in myself or to give her some. So I consulted the American Psychological Association’s website. They have a listing of “10 Ways to Build Resilience.” One strategy is to look to the future and think about how things might improve. For Cassie, I focused the plot on how to get her a new violin. It was a way to help her to be an actor in her own story, to “take decisive actions”, which is another strategy on the list.

For myself, I began imagining my son playing baseball again, going to school every day, being with his friends. These visualizations of him as a healthy person eased some of my anxiety. And by working to give my novel a new shape, I kept dreaming of getting published.

Cassie eventually got another violin. My son is healthy, doing normal stuff: taking baseball lessons, going to movies with friends, planning for college next fall. I got lucky and heard a publisher say “yes” to Shattered.

My small study of resilience offered a lot of options for plotting, and eventually, for transforming Cassie. It helped me to hang in there to finish yet another draft of Shattered. It is what supports me to take the risk of beginning a new novel.

TIW: Thanks, Kathi – for sharing so openly, and for the power and intensity of your work!

In the years that passed, the mythic status of the city pulled at my memory, but actual visits reminded me of her aspects that had made it unlivable for me – noise, dirt, rents higher than my  income could afford.

Then all of a sudden, on this last visit, I felt I was home again, not exactly loving the problematic aspects, but feeling that it was all intensely, exquisitely familiar. Familiar in a deep way that gave me great pleasure.

I knew where I was going and how to get there. Faces seemed recognizable. One lovely morning, there was nothing more pleasurable than walking down Seventh Avenue by myself, noting new stores, smiling at old ones that were still around.

I arrived at my former workplace, St. Vincent Hospital My chest  felt the pain of  the closing of this institution that struggled for years in its mission to serve the indigent and working poor.

I welcomed each feeling, because painful and pleasurable as they were, they reflected my presence in the world, they reminded me of who I am  – an intensely  emotional human being with the power to be sensitive to the things of life without feeling overwhelmed by them. For me, that’s a learned skill.

During earlier visits, I might have felt overcome with the deep feelings of being in the place where I spent fourteen formative years. Now, the  experience reminded me that I’m whole. I enjoyed the night lights, the celebratory reason for our visit,                                                                                                 ,

the shadows on the buildings from the circling  earth

and new places I’d never had a chance to see before.

What does this experience have to do with becoming and staying a resilient writer? Probably not coincidentally, it’s time for me to separate from my work-in-progress for awhile. There’s sadness there – I get so much pleasure from working on it.

And yet the sadness doesn’t make the experience a negative one. As with my relationship to New York City, there’s a time for leaving. When I re-visit my manuscript in the fall, it will be a return to the old familiar places, but with new eyes.

Leaving and returning? The intensity and mix of emotions make it a positively meaningful event – for writing, and for life.