The Jack Sack™

24 Film Is In Its Initial Phases Of Moving Forward

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 12:51:00 +0000

Variety reports that 20th Century Fox has hired screenwriter Billy Ray (no Cyrus, sorry), author of "Shattered Glass," "Flightplan." and "State of Play" to take a crack on an idea he pitched to the studio for a Jack Bauer film. The concept involves Jack fighting bad guys in Europe (an idea I conspicuously offered somewhere on the internet a week ago, but no worries, Billy).

Let's be clear- a lot of fan sites (and some industry news sites) will throw out the headline "24 Movie Starts Production!"- well, that's not accurate. Studios pay screenwriters to deliver scripts all of the time. Sometimes those scripts get produced, most other times they do not. And don't get me started on rewrites. This is about as early in the process as imaginable. Yes, they could fast-track this and get a movie out within 2-3 years. But as of now, don't bet on it. The "24" movie has not been greenlit (meaning the studio has not given a go to this and allocated a production budget). So keep cool.

And then there's the matter of Season 9- will there be a next season? Variety hints that this is not likely, but like I said- a movie will take time to get going, so it's perfectly possible that they will go one more season at least. Why would FOX turn down the chance to squeeze one more year's worth of revenue out of the show?

24 Season 8: 10PM-11PM Quick Review

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 03:05:00 +0000

The Ruskie Corleone Family dominated the start of tonight's episode and it made for some fun spy movie shenanigans. There was talk of angels, honor, blood, battlefields, nukes and sliced bread. The only thing missing was a scene where they sit in a sauna and run into an ice-frozen lake, drinking "wodka" and riding polar bears. Okay, maybe that wouldn't have fit, but you would be talking about it to your friends tomorrow!

Meanwhile, Dana Walsh and her Dumb and Dumber crew get into some silly trouble, pulling jokes on each other and on a poor cop who happens upon this criminally genius enterprise. Here's an analogy: The Dana Walsh subplot is to my intelligence what the baseball bat was to the cop's head.

And then the whole episode goes nuts- it all happened within the span of ten seconds, but I believe 40 people ended up dead and it started when Renee pulled out a knife and went to work on Vlad. But the knife moved around the room a few times and Renee accidentally stabbed Jack (which actually made me yell out "whoops-a-daisy!"). I think the highlight of the melee was Jack pulling the knife out of his gut and throwing it into the throat of a menacing Russian. Wow. This is what happens when you make Jack dress up like Drew Carey-- he gets really pissed off!

The funniest part of all of this was seeing Hastings try and comprehend Jack's quick update. Hastings is speaking for the viewer when he says "But she just had SEX with the guy!" You see, Hastings believes sex means love. That's very old-fashioned of you, slouchy!

But before you can say "How touching" when Jack consoles a weepy Renee, more Ruskies show up and Jack resumes his cover and goes along with his new comrades to hopefully find those nuclear rods. This time he leaves the glasses behind. Crazy.

We got some gory, chaotic action-- so I chalk this episode up as a winner. But am I the only one in thinking this is turning into a Coen Bros. movie? "The Big Bauerowski," anyone? Hmmm...

24 Season 8: Hitler Does Not Like This Season So Far...

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Wed, 03 Feb 2010 05:01:00 +0000

For anyone unfamiliar with this internet fad, for a couple of years people have been taking a scene from the movie "Downfall" (in which Hitler berates his subordinates) and put in their own subtitles on any number of subjects ranging from sports, politics and entertainment. It's meant as satire, and not to make light of Nazi Germany or the Holocaust. Now that we have that out of the way, here's my playful take on Season 8's problems thus far:

24 Season 8 Spoilers

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 20:17:00 +0000

I usually don't get involved in the spoilers business because I like for folks to see the show on its own. But two images I came across show something I think will interest those of us who feel the Dana Walsh/Jenny story is not working.

Click here to read the spoilers

Is Jenny running from Jack? Looks like it. And it looks like this takes place several hours from where we are currently in the season. These photos were taken from a location shoot in downtown L.A. (which begs another question: does Jack go back to L.A. this season or are they using the location to stand-in for NYC?)

24 Season 8: 9PM-10PM Quick Review

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 03:03:00 +0000

This week we get to further explore the unstable, undercover and unstoppable Renee Walker. It's becoming routine that Jack tells CTU Director Hastings that Renee is crazy. And Hastings ignores Jack's warnings (again). Arlo Glass is still sexually harassing Dana Walsh/Jenny, this time offering her to cry on any body part she so desires. TO THE WRITERS OF "24"- congratulations on the worst dialogue in the history of television. Okay, moving on...

No, actually we can't move on because we got a first on "24"- a Chloe ass shot, served up to viewers following her telling off Arlo for being a disgusting pig. I'm no expert on storytelling nuance but what are the filmmakers of "24" telling us? That to look at one's ass is not appropriate, but to show one's ass with a camera angle is okay? My brain hurts.

But before we can get any further into that business, we get probably one of the creepiest scenes in recent history- Renee basically chooses to "go dark"- which consists of her flushing away her earpiece (why?) and sleeping with Vlad to keep her cover going. Before I address this issue, I have to ask- why did she have to take a shower at Vlad's hideout? Oh, that's right, she didn't, but someone in marketing must have thought "Hey, can we get Renee in a towel?" Now, her sleeping with Vlad is a sad deal, another act of self-destruction by this very troubled character. Last week, Renee asked Vlad to shoot her (and we all kind of believed her). This week, she's sleeping with the guy. I'm still scratching my head at how "together" she seemed last season... oh yeah, all this Russian stuff wasn't written yet! We call that "retconning" on the comic book world (nerd alert!).

But someone in the writer's room remembered that Kiefer Sutherland is the highest paid actor on the show, and they should probably use him for a couple of scenes. Jack (finally!) goes undercover as a German arms dealer. With "Where's Waldo" Eyewear. Oh heck yes!

This reminds me of when George Costanza had his alias Art Vanderlay on "Seinfeld." It's such a goofy cover, it just has to work! Kiefer finally gets to light up a smoke on "24," which is probably some personal accomplishment for the guy. And we get some silly banter in German, which was thankfully subtitled (and funny). But the best part was Cole Ortiz plugging three double-crossing Ruskies from his crow's nest and Jack leveraging the last guy for a final meet with Vlad. This is "24"- this is what I want more of- spy vs. spy stuff, no redneck melodrama or irradiated Russian Days of Our Lives, copy that?

In the end, this was a weird episode. We still have not gotten a bonafide Jack episode yet, and we're pretty deep into the season. Here's hoping next week does better and delivers some legitimate action and suspense. It's time things started to pick up.

24 Season 8: Introducing Vinnie, the CTU Hot Dog Guy!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 05:03:00 +0000

Aside from a few exterior shots of Manhattan, you'd be hard-pressed to say that this season of "24" really feels like it takes place in New York City. But thankfully, they got an authentic dirty-water dog vendor stationed in the heart of CTU's NY complex. Vinnie sent in this report on the status of the new CTU:

Hey folks- Vinnie here. So far, this has been a pretty crazy day. I was listening to the sports talk show this afternoon and this stuff about the Yankees letting Johnny Damon go is ridiculous! What, you guys don't got an extra $10 million layin' around? My cousin Jerry has a hot dog cart up by the new stadium and he's telling me all about the money flowing into that place. As for me, I gotta deal with a bunch of government employees that are moonlighting as models for J.Crew. These types don't like eating hot dogs, they're too worried about their figures and what not.

But I will say this, that guy Hastings is my best customer. He comes over to my cart every five minutes, telling me about some new shrimp recipes he came up with, listening to my radio and talking sports. He's alright- he likes chili on his hot dog. I believe his spinal column is collapsing too.

Then there's that Dana Walsh chick. I got my suspicions about her. She says she's from the area but I saw her put mayo on her hot dog, which is absolutely ridiculous. You'd have to be from someplace like Arkansas or something to do that. But everybody says she's not from the South. And that her name's really Dana. Yeah, we'll see...

Her boy Cole Ortiz ain't bad. His eyes are always bugging out like he's surprised by something. I had a cousin who looked like that too- he got kicked in the head by a horse at the Belmont track three summers ago. Naturally, we sued, and he's doin' alright now. Except for the hoof mark...

If there's one guy I don't like, it's that kid Arlo. He's always yapping about female body parts like he ain't never been with a chick before. If I had a sister, and he was in the same zip code as her, I'd preemptively kick his ass for all the filthy crap running through his head.

But all of these clowns don't compare to my real buddy here, Chloe. She's the best! She told me how to steal digital cable! Now I get to see all the pay-per-view boxing matches for free. I invited her and Morris over to my house next week to see the next fight. My wife is gonna cook sausage & peppers (yes, I eat a lot of food in casings, what's it you ya?).

Anyway, that's the deal with these characters. I see there's some new guy running around the office with a fancy leather purse. He looks angrier than a fat kid at a salad bar. I'm gonna leave him be.

24 Season 8: Jack Bauer's Leather Bag Information

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 10:53:00 +0000

Alright, I went so far as to actually contact the good people who work on "24" but they were not forthcoming with information on Jack's fancy brown leather sack. But that can't stop us! By miracle of the internet (and actually help from Shane, an astute and very helpful reader of this site) I present to you THE SEASON 8 JACK SACK:

The bag is made by Ralph Lauren. It is called the Double RL (RRL) Leather Mail Bag. It retails for $895.

I haven't found a merchant link for it, it looks like it was released in 2009 and is probably not a part of the current collection. You can try your luck at RL outlets or through 3rd party sellers. Let me know if you find a place that sells it and I will share that information with everyone else in a front-page article.

So, if anyone from the show is reading this, no need to get back to me, we're okay. ;)

24 Season 8: 9PM-10PM Sneak Preview

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 12:27:00 +0000

As this freeze frame from next week's episode indicates, "24" really wants to make sure I have enough comedic material for this season...

I'll make sure this goes to good use. Stay tuned!

24 Season 8: 8PM-9PM Quick Review

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 26 Jan 2010 03:05:00 +0000

Renee Walker is in full Nancy Sinatra mode! While it's fun to see Renee acting like a complete sociopath, I think it's a little goofy that she cuts a Russian mobster's thumb off to prove to him she is willing to "cut him in" on some big deal? What? Ehhh, I'm not following that logic.

And after 5 episodes, I'm willing to comment finally on Dana Walsh/Jenny. Her subplot rivals that of Lynn McGill, the hobbit CTU director from Season 6 5 (Editor's note: Thank you, Hatch for the catch). Remember when it was revealed that McGill had a deadbeat sister who wanted money from her CTU sibling? Well, The Dana/Jenny subplot is kind of similar in that it's distracting and not really worthwhile. Yet. I am hopeful that this will tie into some bigger story point, but as of now, I shrug my shoulders, drink my seltzer and ignore what's happening with her character.

Now, onto other subplots- Russian mobsters are fantastic. There's no shortage of material you can delve into with these guys. Yes, you've got the run-of-the-mill sadists, pederasts, schemers, etc. But then you find these two Russian brothers- one exposed to radiation from smuggled nuclear material and the other brother who feels really bad for the guy. They are off on their own little adventure to cure the sick brother, risking the authorities learning of their plight. No, it's not quite Coen brothers material, but I like where this thing is heading.

Back to the Russian with 1 thumb, Ziya. I am amazed at his calmness 30 minutes after his major reconstructive surgery. Ya know, I bumped my knee a month ago and it still hurts. Ziya gets his thumb cut off and he's cooler than a pack of menthols! And you can't have a Russian mob without a dude named Vlad, the big kingpin that Renee is trying to get to in order to crack open the case.

Meanwhile, Jack spends 40 minutes chatting in Renee's ear about his overly elaborate cover story. Jack's a professional, I admire that about him, but his backstory became downright boring 20 minutes ago! But before I can groan any further, Jack figures out that Renee was the victim of some serious abuse while she was undercover several years ago. I suppose this makes better sense of her general instability (Moss' death last season set off a mental relapse). But wow, did she cover it up really well for 99% of last season... anyway.

Let's get to the big point- is "24" becoming the Renee Walker show? So far, her character has been the most interesting, well-written and best-plotted. I definitely admire the strong work by Annie Wersching and all parties involved. But we're 5 episodes in and I have not witnessed "The Power of Bauer" grab hold of this season yet. I'm not complaining, I'm just making note. I want Bauer to unload some chaos, and soon. In the end this was a strong episode, branching out subplots in mostly interesting ways. Next week looks very good too.

By the way, check out this week's Carnival of Bauer, hosted by the glorious AmyV of Blogs4Bauer and social networking fame.

24 Season 8: Motivational Posters

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 10:20:00 +0000

These seem to be a popular feature, which I started last season. So, for your viewing pleasure, here is the Inaugural Edition of Season 8's Motivational Posters. Enjoy!

Jack Bauer, The Rooster

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 23:18:00 +0000

My friend Granny Annie, of "Fools Rush In," recently took in a maladjusted rooster who she dubbed "Jack Bauer" for obvious reasons. Annie, in recognition of your loyalty to my site and for your generally being an awesome person, I present you with this keepsake of your crazy new bird:

24 Season 8: Brian Hastings And His Terrible Posture

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Wed, 20 Jan 2010 05:15:00 +0000

In case you have not noticed, CTU Director Brian Hastings looks like the bureaucratic weight of the entire world is pushing him down. His slouching is remarkable, distracting and perplexing. That is, until I followed down a lead and came up with a very good explanation for his posture problems:

Hastings previously worked at CTU: Middle Earth. Yep, Hobbits live in small homes... poor bastard. (Rickey, this was all for you, buddy). LOTR, X-Men... what is happening to this blog? Next post I'll do something about punching people, deal?

24 Season 8: Renee Walker is the Dark Phoenix

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 18:08:00 +0000

Alright, this is some geeky stuff I'm about to lay on you all. If you read comics, then you're probably familiar with the X-Men. Heck, you might even know them from those 3 movies that came out a few years ago and made tons of money. Anyway, there's a character, Jean Grey, who starts out as one of the good guys but through a series of traumatic events (and mind control, etc.) she unleashes a ridiculous amount of destruction on the Universe. And she also has red hair. Logically, this caused me to make the connection to Renee Walker and when I make connections, I express them through photoshop:

Alright maybe I need to get out more... anyway, in fairness to my female readers, I present you with what I believe is the first-ever photoshop of Jack Bauer as Wolverine. Enjoy this useless artwork in anyway you deem appropriate:

Jack kind of looks like President Hassan with that hair, no? Alright, go back to your non-geek activities. Move along!

24 Season 8: 6PM-8PM Quick Review

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 03:00:00 +0000

It was a tale of two 24s--

The first hour was tedious.

Hastings calling the leader of a foreign government would never happen in real life, or even an alternate universe where logic and decorum exist. Sorry, I can look past a lot of stuff with "24" but this one insults my intelligence. Could you imagine the leader of Iran trusting some mid-level American bureaucrat with an admission of an extramarital affair? Yeah... no. And in spite of this ridiculous conversation, Hastings still insists on ignoring the very information that exonerated his suspect. I've seen and heard of stupidity, but this sort of behavior only exists in fiction. Wow.

Arlo is a sick puppy too. I know government employees can never get fired, but his level of sexual harassment is beyond believability. And how does one get to work at CTU and be that much of a screw-up? Wait, this is "24"- screw-ups get employed at CTU all of the time, that's part of why they disbanded the agency a few years back. Well, wash, rinse and repeat, people!

Cole (a.k.a. Chico Bauer, Jr.) brings the action hero stuff though, saving President Hassan from certain doom! That was a good scene, the best part of the first hour by far. He gets an entry in the ever-growing TheJackSack.com Dictionary!

The second hour kicked ass.

Hastings admitted he was a moron, Chloe was vindicated, they didn't drag out the revelation of Hassan's brother being the mole, etc. I was sorry to see Davros get killed so quickly. Whenever I photoshop a character, I hope they live longer than 3 episodes. Oh well... at least things are moving fast! And now a nuke is on the loose? Under the control of Transylvanian Russians? Hurray!

And then Renee Walker came back and shared her (odd) expertise in Russian mafia tattoos. But it was her steamy emotional scene with Jack Bauer that made this episode transcend the prior three hours. The first scene between Jack and Renee was more explosive than the missile attack on the helicopter and the attempted road bomb attack on Preident Hassan. That's what Annie Wersching and Kiefer Sutherland bring to the table- chemistry! I approve of this sort of thing! And then she had to go and cut that poor Ruskie's thumb off. This alone made Hour 4 the best of the season (so far).

And that's where we leave off- we got nukes, a dangerous undercover operation and some Russian mafia dudes causing trouble. Yep, this is shaping up to be a good stretch.

24 Season 8: Davros (a.k.a. "Mikey")

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 18:39:00 +0000

Davros, a.k.a. "Mikey" was probably the best new character from last night's 2-hour premiere. Davros is a hands-on kind of fella, he knows how to get things done and he loves his job. Or maybe he hates his job... who knows, the point is that he's a capable bad guy and I hope he lives long enough to cause the requisite amount of mayhem that will make his eventual demise all the more enjoyable.

He's Russian because the writers tell us so. How can you not love a guy whose "native" accent is actually worse than his New York accent? How YOU doin, Comrade?

24 Season 8: 4PM-6PM Quick Review

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 04:23:00 +0000

Well, this was not what I was expecting.

24 premieres are traditionally insane, all-out television events that create lots of noise. Instead (and keying off of last season's finale) we got a different tone- something more subdued and wrapped up in suspense.

Jack Bauer has gone from reluctant hero to downright resentful guy between seasons. And you can't blame the man for being fed up with the government that has employed him through the worst experiences of his life. I'd be pretty angry at Uncle Sam if I was in his position as well. But before "Grandpa" Bauer can check out to the West Coast, he's got to make good on some favors he owes Chloe O'Brian. Her confrontation with Jack was, to me, the best character moment of the first two hours. I always appreciate when a series relies on its long history to strengthen the believability of its characters and their relationships. It may seem like an obvious point but I'll say it anyway- Jack and Chloe are the best characters being written on this series- period.

As for the plot- an assassination attempt to stop a peace accord is an old story- movies from Gene Hackman's "The Package" to "Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country" (and dozens of others in addition) have gone over this territory. I'm not expecting "24" to reinvent the plot wheel, but this one on its surface seems a bit too familiar to me. But it's too early to judge, and I don't have any problems with where it's going so far, but I'm not that "terrified" of what's happening yet. I don't feel any urgency, that's my gripe.

The new characters seem alright. Katee Sackhoff's tech guru has some personal problems, which could either become tension-building counterpoints to the bigger story or distracting silliness (again, too early to say). Freddie Prinze, Jr. seems earnest in his role as "Jack, Jr.", (or is it "Chase 2.0"?), Mykelti Williamson is effectively slimy as the bureaucrat running CTU: NY and John Boyd is weird and typical of a CTU tech as Arlo Glass.

I will attempt to give the first two hours another look later tonight, maybe I'll have some additional thoughts later. I will say this- "24" needs Annie Wersching back as soon as possible. Tomorrow night's two-hour block promises to make good on that matter.

24 Season 8 Countdown: 0 Days- Premiere Tonight!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sun, 17 Jan 2010 08:04:00 +0000

Jack, just a heads-up-- NY can get pretty weird... good luck.

24 Season 8 Countdown: 1 Day! That's like 24 hrs!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Sat, 16 Jan 2010 10:46:00 +0000

24 Season 8 Countdown: 2 Days!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Fri, 15 Jan 2010 05:05:00 +0000

And another throwaway "movie poster" follows below too...

Jack Bauer + AVATAR = the kind of mayhem I would pay to watch.

24 Season 8 Countdown: 3 Days!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 05:47:00 +0000

Today's countdown comes with a little Photoshop bonus! See below:

That's right, the poster to the new romantic comedy (500) DAMMITS OF BAUER!

24 Season 8: Renee Walker's GMC Truck Commercial

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 17:14:00 +0000

Just in time for the premiere of Season 8, Renee Walker shows up in what looks like a promo for a GMC truck:

This reminds me of the Kate Walsh Cadillac commercial from a couple of years ago:

Watch "24" and buy American. Copy that?

24 Season 8 Countdown: 4 Days!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 05:32:00 +0000

24 Season 8 Countdown: 5 Days!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 10:16:00 +0000

24 Season 8 Countdown: 6 Days!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 11:05:00 +0000

24 Season 8 Countdown: 7 Days!

noreply@blogger.com (Adam) — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 04:08:00 +0000