The Jacksons

As of Today aka My Last Words...

2012-01-26T09:18:00.000-08:00

On Tuesday and Thursday mornings I drive my son to school – it’s a 45-minute drive one way. And if you have a 10 year old, then you know that means it is generally 45 minutes of quiet time (unless he snores). For me, it means I get to listen to meaningless entertaining DJ chatter on a local radio station.

This morning was no exception to our norm. But one of the chatters was focused on what they would tweet if they were to die. Apparently twitter has come up with a way for its’ clients to post a tweet pre death, that will be tweeted upon twitter being notified of your passing. Hmmmm – anyway, the djs were discussing what they would say in 140 characters.

It got me to thinking. And mine is way more then 140 characters. And probably a bit morbid. But think about it, what a great gift to give those you leave behind. Your last imparting words. Mine would be along these lines:

I want my funeral to be a celebration of life – not necessarily mine but the one He gives us. This would remind those in attendance to not mourn me as I’m up there partying down with my Savior – and “no worries, I’m saving a place for you right next to me.”

As of today, I would like Huckabee, Swayze and Stewart to play super cool, amazing songs like Jonah 33 “This is it” and that song that I can never remember the name of but has the line, “I will set you as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm”. And it better be jammin’ – complete with band, and lot of jumping up and down!!

As of today, I’d want a super cool slide show conveying my favorite moments in life – vacations with the family, race accomplishments, date nights with my hub and of course, those insane moments of camp life. Please don’t forget to include the one of me covered in shaving cream (there should be a few dozen of those to choose from).

As of today, I’d want Freeman to share a message of joy, grace, mercy, compassion and living life without regrets. All the things our God shows us daily and how we often forget to live them daily. I know for me, I often had to ask for an extra dose of mercy from Him, and often fell short of living the way He’d want me too.

As of today, I’d want my children to know that the best of my life began when my oldest was born, and that it was through her, that I realized my true character and strength. I’d want them to know that I wasn’t the best mom. That my God came first, my family was second and my ministry was third – even though, sometimes they didn’t feel that was the sequence. I’d want them to know that even when I was playing the role of funsucker, that I enjoyed every moment I had with them, and cherished every conversation – no matter how painful or ugly – we had. I would wan them to know that they need to chase their dreams, to live their lives with no regrets, but with respect and dignity. And that I’m proud of them. In all things.

As of today, I wouldn’t want my hub to dwell in deep sorrow although I suspect he well. We have often spoken of what would happen if the other passed first – we both realize we will end up in a ball on the floor in the corner of a room with the ugly cry face glued on our face for a very long time. I would want him to know that he was the best parts of me and that I really never knew of any greater earthly love then his. I would want him to know that I never stopped believing in him, that it always made me smile at just the mere thought of him, and that God created Him just for me. I would want him to know that I was always my most calm, peaceful, happiest when we were side by side.

As of today, I would want our kiddos (youth) from Oklahoma, Georgia and Texas to know that they often get the better parts of me because God always managed to shine through me when I felt least adequate. That it wasn’t me they saw, but instead it was Christ. I would want them to know to that I would hope instead of mourning my passing, that they celebrate our reunion which will hopefully be a long time in coming. That they have much work to do here on earth and that they need to get it done according to His desires instead of His.

As of today, I would want my mom to know that while we had a difficult relationship for much of our life, that all the mistakes were forgiven and that I know she did her best. To make sure she didn’t waste the rest of her life focusing on worrying about what other’s perceptions were but to live a more carefree, judgment free life.

As of today, I’d want my nieces and nephews that I may not have been the most hands on aunt, I’m a pretty self absorbed person to be honest, but it didn’t mean I didn’t think of them each day and I always prayed for them. And while prayer may not be much solace to them, it was the best I could do – after all, I live kindof far away. As for my brother, and in-laws – I would hope they knew that I loved them all – sometimes more then others, some more then others (okay, do you really think I’m going to lose my sarcastic wit just because I bite it?). Relationships are what they are – sometimes your not very good while in them – I would say my big regrets in life are that I never poured myself into these relationships more. And that I know my focus was always on my relationship with Christ, Chris and my children first and foremost before any others.

I am sure there is more that I would want people to know and I know I could probably condense this into 140 characters to fit my death tweet, but these are the thoughts that came flooding into my mind after the mindless chatter of the DJs this morning.

Amazing what self-reflection one can have in 45 minutes.

BTW, please only show good pictures of me in the slide show. :)

So what would your last words be?

No Words

2011-12-10T17:53:00.001-08:00

In life, there are times when words simply cannot express the true emotion one feels. It is usually when you have overwhelming happiness (marriage, childbirth) or deep sorrow (death). My father passed away 16 years ago - around Thanksgiving.

Since that time, I just haven't been able to embrace Thanksgiving with the huge meals, large family gatherings and all that it brings. Instead, my little portion of the family made the best out of it that we could - usually late mornings in PJs, followed by back to back movies at the cinema and some really bad movie theater hot dogs. But we truly loved that day and those weird traditions we were creating.

A few years ago, my mom decided we (my fam and the brother's fam) needed to come to her house for Thanksgiving. And we did. And it was awkward as we are very independent families that have very busy lives and well....awkward. But fun. I love my brother and MIL and the niece & nephew. They are awesome!

This year, we had to head to Tulsa the weekend before Thanksgiving as one of our nephews was coming home from serving in Afghanistan (marines) and it was a very big deal (75 people at the airport - big deal). But we were home by Thanksgiving day and went back to our typical low key movie based day. And loved it.

Back to the point, it is because of the passing of my dad that holidays look different for me. I suspect for anyone who has lost a parent or a child, holidays are hard/different/awkward/nonexistent. I was thinking that I had made it through this year relatively Unscaved (sometimes I battle a deep depression around this time) until I checked my phone after my 6 mile run.

One of my "kids" (really, he's not a kid - he graduates from college this year) dad passed away this morning. Not sure why, he just "simply didn't wake up". It was one of those texts and messages (I also had a few voicemails) that makes you sit down and become silent. You try to find words so when you "make the call" you are able to give comfort. And you realize, you don't have any.

All the belief in God doesn't even give me words. Comfort, yes. But words, no. All I could muster was "so sorry, 143, I've been there so we can talk". Little solace for a breaking heart.

And all day, my heart has broken for my dear friend (who was once a camper, but is now more like a son). Funny, when you see this guy, one thinks of Goliath - no really. Goliath. Amazing how no matter what size you are, the passing of loved one can reduce you to that of a small child.

I pray for him. I pray for him without ceasing today ( and will continue to for the days to come) because I know some of the thoughts that are going through his head, and I can imagine the others. Because as the daughter, I didn't necessarily have to worry about "becoming the man" in the family and other "guy things".

This afternoon, we watching the Kona Ironman - an event that I am in awe of - and I cried through the whole thing. Mostly because of the loss my friend is experiencing, and partly because of the awesome athletes and their desire to overcome the challenge. One woman was running who had been battling cancer. As she crossed the finish line, the announcer said "her family doesn't know how many christmas's they have left, but they certainly have this moment to celebrate".

I think it is important that we celebrate everyday, the time we have together.

It reminds me that during this holiday season, it is not about gifts, holiday parties, weight gain, and other silly nonsense, but that it is about love and those that are around you. That you better appreciate the time you have with the ones you love, because nothing is guaranteed.

So while this year, I will still try to help Santa fill the list for my kids, I will hug them harder and longer and pray for them harder and longer then I have before.

Embrace and love the ones you have in your life.

Another Camp Season begins...

2011-10-14T17:44:00.001-07:00

No, not camping season. Camp Season. You know, what I do for a living? Some people call it playing and well, so do I. I heard once that if you want to do great at your job you should do something you love. I love being an event coordinator for our conference. I love our kids. I love our Servant Team and work crew. I love our youth pastors and adult volunteers. I love my boss, and his fam. I love that I chase God and He allows me to do what I do for a living.

With that said, it is still a job and my eye must be on the details. Which is not where they should always be - they should always be looking upward towards Him. But, we have a great team and should I miss something, someone else has already taken care of it. That's because we work for God - and He puts together awesomely amazing teams.

This weekend begins Tent Revival. Our 2nd annual to be exact. Last year it was a 24 hour period of non-stop worship, teaching and prayer. This year, it is still 24 hours but with a lights out. It is held in tents - from cooking, eating and worshipping to sleeping. All tents. Think Tent Village with God hanging out.

These are taken before the arrival of students and youth workers begin.

This is the quiet time. Where we prepare our hearts for what God is going to do here this weekend.

This is where we prepare our minds to witness the glory of a community of believers who will come together to honor Him with their entire beings for 24 hours. Make no doubt, there will be singing, dancing and praying. And a lot of all three.

And hopefully at the end of it all, He will look down and whisper in our ears, "Job well done, good and faithful servants".

Because at the end of the day, that is really what matters.

Have I mentioned how I love my job?

Another School Year

2011-08-23T15:28:00.000-07:00

Here we are at the beginning of another school year and we have begun quite a new journey.

Michaleh is a senior this year! Wow, it’s hard to believe that time goes by so quickly. She is trying to figure out what to do with herself next year – weighing the debate of college vs trade school vs winging it. She’s working hard at her new job (and passing on the perk of discounted groceries to her very poor parents) and trying to enjoy her senior year.

Joshua has enrolled in a new school in another town that’s 45 miles away. It’s a drive and a hefty payment which not only requires financial sacrifice on our part, but a lot of time commitment and faith. He attends a university model private Christian school which engages the parents in co-teaching. Basically, he goes to class on Tuesdays and Thursdays from early morning to late afternoon and then I co-teach in a homeschool setting at our house the other three days a week. We are into week 2 of this system, and so far, no one has died. Or been threatened. So I think we are okay.

But we love the school that he is at – just yesterday, I used the Bible to teach Social Studies! How cool is that? And he loves it as well – he puts in prayer requests during class, really likes his teachers and is full of information the whole 45 minute drive home (maybe the starbux frappucino helps a little).

We have also been preparing for the oldest to get married in October. A small, family affair hosted by family, catered by family, cleaned up by family! But it will be perfect for what she desires and that is what matters. Weddings can be insanely stressful and we’ve encouraged her more then once to elope – which she has said NO to. But I do understand that little girl fantasy of wedding and so off we will go in October – hopefully no Bridezilla there.

Chris and I have begun marathon training and we have reached the double digits – which means that usually one of is sore – somewhere, in some way. Juggling kids schedules and training schedules can cause an OCD type personality to actually overload at some point! It’s been a lot of hard work, and we are excited to reach the finish line in November. It will be our last marathon as we really want to play more – Tough Mudder and Warrior Dash comes to mind!

And in between school, work, training for marathons and weddings, Chris and I remain faithful that we follow what God desires of us – chasing Him every breath we take and sometimes making a mess of it all. I am always excited to see what God is doing in the lives of our campers and youth that He blesses us with throughout the years, and I’m even more excited about the upcoming retreat season – watching Him grow and develop new leaders at each one is always a wonderful gift.

We are truly blessed – even during these hard times. We are blessed because we are loved much by God and friends. After all, who wouldn’t love us… we are Freakishly Amazing!

Summer Camp Ends

2011-07-27T09:38:00.000-07:00

Summer Camp Season is over and once again, even though I end it with a sense of exhaustion, I am renewed, replenished and reaffirmed that Chris and I have obediently answered His call to ministry. Camp season is always exhausting, constantly pushing my out of my comfort zone and relying on His grace, mercy and strength to bring Him in new and exciting ways to our campers. This year, we grew in size (again). I am not foolish enough to believe that any of that growth has to do with me, but I am aware that it has to do with all those in our ministry teams that constantly strive to keep camp focus on Him, relying on His vision instead of our own.

This year, we reached record numbers at our camps, meaning that we also saw record number of first time acceptance of Christ, reaffirmations of decisions and calls into ministry. None of this happens unless the Holy Spirit is allowed to flow freely throughout the camps. I am truly blessed to be in ministry with a God seeking man (my boss), supported by a God seeking man (Chris) and surrounded by God seeking people (Servant Team, youth leaders, friends). I recently had a conversation with Rev Ryan Barnett (brief, brief brief convo) and he mentioned his recent trip to Africa. I mentioned that Chris and I would jump at the chance to go to Africa and serve but didn't feel that God had opened those doors and paths for us. He pointed out that it was obvious that we were where we were supposed to be - evident by the abundant fruitfulness that was occurring in the ministry. What a great compliment and affirmation!

At the end of summer camps, we take our Servant Team (aka summer camp staffers) that have worked every camp (same set of youth, chosen through a lengthy application process) on a post retreat to celebrate and replenish before returning them to their homes. This year, we baptised Joshua at the post retreat.

It was a great ending of the camp season for us and a great beginning for a new journey. Rusty baptized him, one of the guys from our Servant Team prayed over him and Michaleh and I stood beside him. Dad looked on proudly (and a little overwhelmed). It marks the beginning of a new journey for our family as we have chosen to put Joshua in a private Christian school which is based on university teaching model. This means he'll go to school 2 days a week and I'll have to home school him the other 3 days. They give us the lesson plans and resources we need to help with the home teaching part.

It's a new journey which will involve sacrifice as it requires quite a financial investment, as well as drive time (the school is 45 minutes away), and the extra teaching time (should I mention, a stronger sense of structure & discipline will have to be implemented on my part?). But we have prayed over it and set some guidelines in our decision making - all which God fulfilled and showed us that this was the path He was laying out for us. I kept waiting for the doors to close on this opportunity for Joshua attending the school, but they just kept opening. Affirming that we were beginning a new journey.

A new journey began for me as well in June, when the conference brought me on full time (officially, as I've been working full time anyway). Again, affirming that we were being blessed for answering the God when He called. We begin a new journey as we pray about selling our house at the end of this school year (with Michaleh graduating in June) and moving into a smaller, simpler home in Marble Falls (no more commute for school, easier for Chris to upkeep while I'm away at camps, etc). And while we are not sure about some of our journey, and we certainly don't have exact clarity on what our future looks like, what we do know is that whenever we follow our Creator, we are always well taken care of. It might not be in lavish lodgings, or deluxe vacations, or new luxury cars - but we are well taken care of the way that God desires us to be; and that brings us peace and comfort (which in this world, are often hard to find). Wherever our Father Abba takes us, we have joy in knowing that we are on this adventure together!

Camp Season is right around the Corner

2011-05-19T21:55:00.000-07:00

It's mid May and that means, I've basically had to finish up the prep for summer camps. One of our favorite camps is MYMission - not because it is my mission. Here's the official description: My Mission (Methodist Youth Mission) is a one-week, inner city mission camp sponsored by the SWTC Council on Youth Ministries.

My Mission Mixed 2011 is designed for Sr. and Jr. High students (entering 6th thru 12th grades) and will be at Travis Park UMC in San Antonio, TX, Friday at 6 PM until Tuesday at 12 PM. This will be a safe but "intense" week of homeless street experience, poverty simulation, and service in and around inner-city San Antonio. Students will gain an understanding of what it means to be homeless and to live in poverty. Jr. High students will have more of an introduction to inner city ministry and will be separated from Sr. High students during the day and during sleeping at night. Programming will be age-specific and well supervised.

We focus on service, not the hammer and nails kind of service, but the relational service - much the way Christ focused when He walked the earth. We reach as many homeless as possible, handing out 1000s of water bottles, 150 sandwiches each day, and sharing the love of Christ in simple conversations. We offer those that we meet on the streets our time, our non-judgement and our sincere friendship. Too often, we have to drag our students off the streets and back into the church where we sleep at night. This is a good thing.

We try to spend the week doing with less then our normal daily, all too comfort lives allow us too - often giving up some of our possessions, going without showers, and even "roof sleeping" (a fenced flat top roof atop the church, in which we stay, where we sleep for a night). We roof sleep so we understand that sleep on the streets is not easy - we are able to smell and hear all the sounds that downtown San Antonio has to offer. And it impacts our lives. The next morning we are more kind and more gentle to all those that we meet.

We want the homeless to experience the true grace and love that Christ holds for them, and we try our hardest to share just a piece of that. We often leave MYMission, feeling inadequate and asking if we could have done more. We always leave with knowing that we will forever be changed by the people that we have met and we know that we will never be able to go under a downtown bridge without looking for a familiar face (one that we've met during our days on the streets).

If you would like to help, we will be putting together 100s of homeless bags to hand out. To get more information on how you and your church can help, simply click here: http://www.reachingyouth.org/f/My_Mission_Hand_Out_Bags_Poster.pdf

I have been saying it a lot lately, and I'll say it one more time, I am blessed to be able to chase God's heart, and share Him with students all while calling it a job and getting paid to boot.

W

Get Away

2011-05-16T22:36:00.000-07:00

Sometimes a couple just needs to get a way - and this past weekend, we did just that. Our 22nd anniversary is literally around the corner and Chris had a huge high school event scheduled this past weekend. At the last minute, we decided we'd go to the reunion, and make it an anniversary celebration as well. What fun we had. From surprising people (who thought we weren't coming), to making new friends, to seeing the oldest daughter and our beloved grand-daughter to overcrowded flights, and lost vehicles in the parking lot!

I once thought we'd never go anywhere without the kids because I always thought it was such a selfish thing when parents would "abandon" their kidlets to go have adult time. Now, I totally am wiser and totally understand the value of such a time. We knew that with my camp season getting ready to start, that we'd have little to no time at all for the rest of the summer and knew we needed to take advantage of it.

So we flew into the spousal units hometown under the darkness of night (seriously, it was late) and stranded ourselves at a hotel for the weekend, having to rely on friends for transportation or take advantage of the laziness that lack of transportation affords one. We I got my training runs each and every day, and managed to eat relatively cleanly for having to have every meal at a restaurant; however, I think the chefs and waiters were glad I left!

I encourage you to take advantage of a quiet weekend with your spouse - you'll feel renewed and re-energized!

VOTE!!

2011-04-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

Cute and paste this to your address bar: http://bit.ly/hQisAt

So here's the dealio - I'm in a competition sponsored by Athleta (some of the most amazing women's sports apparel on the market)and you can help me win. By clicking on the link above, you will be redirected to the vote website for me. All you have to do is simply leave a comment and then it will count as a vote. The winner gets to meet with Athleta stylists and give commentaries or something like that. The only thing I really have a hard time looking for in this world is a modest (albeit, appealing/womanly)two piece bathing suit that a mother of 3 would want to dare. I look for support, fit, wearability, sportability and the appeal - Athleta has been the only place that has come close. Second problem though is that I'm kindof small and now have had to begun shopping in the juniors department (I know - there's no sympathy here, but have you seen their clothes?) so the fit is a super huge deal to me.

I've been bombarding my FB friends daily with "have you voted for me yet" comments, links to the site, and even bribery when needed! I'm sure they are getting tired of it as well, but they are all being very good sports and haven't been yelling at me for it (yet).
I know, I know, this is a shameless plug but can you blame me? You know you'd do the same thing!

So what else is going on in the Jackson lives? Same thing - different day. Chris and I will begin training in June for our marathon in November. Yes, I know - we are crazy. I think you lose brain cells as you age (my kids swear I'm in a midlife crisis). But we've decided that we are going to participate in the San Antonio Rock and ROll Marathon in November, which is fitting since that was our first half. For the next few weeks, we'll be enjoying spring training - which is basically, enjoying your runs - not worrying about pace, tempo, stride, time. Just running because it's fun (again, yes, we know we are crazy).

The kids are the best as usual and are surviving TAKS week (ergh) and just being themselves. They are pretty amazing, we have no real complaints. Better go check on the voting. Did I ask if you had voted?

Supporting our Soldier

2011-04-17T19:47:00.000-07:00

There is nothing more important to a soldier than them knowing that they are being supported by the people back home. So we set out this weekend to send our nephew, the marine, a care package and hope that he gets it in time for Easter. In our package, is some candy, whey protein (which he specifically requested), baby wipes, chapstick, animal crackers, nutella, homemade peanut butter cookies and chocolate chip cookies, and of course, letters and pictures from home.

it seems so silly to write letters to our marine about our simple life back home – after all, his daily life is about conquering bad guys, keeping his fellow marines safe, and making sure he makes it back to his quarters in one piece at the end of his assignment. After all, I go to work in tennis shoes and running gear, he goes to work carrying a big gun. And I mean a BIG gun! He breaks down doors and looks for bad guys, eats MREs, and sleeps in sand pits. And I worry about the upcoming training retreat which involves sleeping in a tent (don’t get me wrong – not worried about the tent part).

But I will continue to send him letters filled with the insignificant details of our days here, and maybe at least he will be able to find a few minutes to get his mind off of 120 degree weather and shamaals. And maybe he’ll share the cookies with his buddies and they’ll all get a good laugh at our latest run pictures that I’ve enclosed (or the family ski trip one). But mostly, I hope that when he receives his package, that he knows that we think of him day and night and pray for a quick end to a war we don’t understand anymore, and a swift return home.

A super cool thing that his GF shared with me is motomail. If you have email and your soldier’s land address, you can send them an online letter (no, not an email) and they’ll usually get it within 24 hours. So cool! If you have a soldier you’ll have to find it – just go to https://www.motomail.us, and follow the easy online instructions - you can even attach pictures (which, of course, I did).

If you don’t have a soldier serving somewhere, but want to show support, another great way is to send them coffee. Now, of course, I adore coffee so I think this is the greatest gift you can send. Just simply go to http://www.greenbeanscoffee.com/coj/ and order a cup of Joe ($2 – cheaper then starbux) and send a quick personal note. I have decided that every time I buy coffee (anywhere – starbux, McDonalds, gas stations, etc), I will put $2 aside to buy a cup for Joe as well.

There are a lot more ways to support our troops – you can simply google for ideas and find yourself overwhelmed, but it is one of the most important things we do during our simplistic days stateside that we can do. Continue praying for our nephew and all the other amazing men and women who are serving!

Statesman Cap10K, Austin

2011-04-05T16:07:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, my husband and I ran the Statesman Cap10K in Austin. A race of 24,000 participants, from wheelchair racers & elite runners to timed runners & “just for funners”. They only allow 10,000 timed runners and we were two of them. There were many costumed runners as well – a few Gumby’s, some crayons, lots of tutus (even men) and my favorite, Super Mario and who ever his sidekick is.

Chris says that something funny happens when I race. Frankly, I am simply racing against myself – I’m not thinking that I’m going to set new world records or beat an elite runner but I am out to beat myself. He calls it “race face”. First, to understand “race face”, let me take you back through some earlier events.

We headed to Austin Saturday afternoon to hit the health expo & packet pick up. I have to say that the health expo was a big disappointment. I was expecting the same quality and quantity of the San Antonio Rock and Roll Marathon & Half expo – but my fantastic hubby did buy me some amazing fog proof pink running glasses so it was successful – and we got our race packets.

We were supposed to go to dinner with Team Beef at Macaroni Grill but as we sat in the parking lot preparing to go in, we decided we should just stay in Austin for the night as it would be easier to get to the race, more sleep, etc. So we rushed home (an hour drive one way) to pack, get our race gear and head back. Little did we know, that just about every hotel within 20 miles of the race would be sold out. After a lot of phone calls, we finally secured a place, checked in and went to dinner by ourselves at the Olive Garden.

Olive Garden has become a pre-race night tradition with us. We split some pasta and steak, a class of wine, the all you can eat amazing salad and I literally gorge on breadsticks. After all, I eat no bread during the year unless it is race day or the night before so who cares that I ate a couple of baskets by myself!

Apparently “race face” begins the night before the race, shortly after the dinner. I get into a quiet zone where I lay out all my clothes, review the course several dozen times, re-read several running articles on performance and become very quiet and very still. I lay out breakfast, and visualize the course (over and over). Yes, I know – all this for a 10K? Yes, all this for a 10K. Race morning, however, brings major “race face”. I’m quiet, barely audible, and completely focused on the tasks at hand – crossing the finish line with the best possible PR I can achieve.

The races are about me. No one else. It bothers me that there are 24,000 other people on the course in fact – all jostling for a position when all I want is to the run in the crack between the road and curb. I want to shout, “get out of my crack” but feel that may be a little inappropriate and even borderline rude. So I weave in and out of the crowd, focusing simply on keeping up with my “rabbit” of a husband. I know that if he wasn’t rabbiting for me, he’d probably be finishing a good 15 minutes ahead of me, but he likes to cross the finish line with me, not before me.

I keep my focus on his shoes, constantly lagging behind and constantly weaving and bobbing – especially when the runners in front decide to stop and walk. My biggest fear is not that I won’t finish, but that I will run over a walker while trying to keep the pace I trained so hard to maintain. I find that I really enjoy a 10K distance; in fact, this may be m favorite distance to run. After all, I consistently run 6 miles 3 days a week, with the other 3 days being anywhere from 4 – 9 miles runs. So whether I finish or not, is never a question with this distance, but more about how fast I can get there.

There were several highlights of the Cap10K and I know that these highlights will make us come back next year (with better hotel planning next year): Team Beef was at mile 3 (letting me know, I was half way there and through the hardest part of the course), and a surprise cheerleader at 5.5 miles reminded me to enjoy the moment and appreciate the crowd of runners.

We began running for Team Beef in January – we run 2 races and volunteer at 1 throughout the year to fulfill our obligation to them, and in turn we wear their amazing Team Beef running shirts. It is great fun to realize that other people are as insane about running and nutrition as you are and there is a great sense of camaraderie within the team. Comprised of all strangers who may not live anywhere near each, probably don’t ever train together; all comes together for a meal and a race. And they cheer you on! It makes me want to run harder and faster.

Then the surprise cheerleader at the 5.5-mile mark, a student who comes to one of our many conference church camps, is curbside. Remember how I like to run the “curb crack” – this puts my ear at her mouth level – allowing me to hear (despite my loud ipod music) “GOOOOOOOOOO BECKY JACKSON”. I turn abruptly to see her beautiful smiling face and realize how cool that was!

I look ahead and my husband is running backwards (show off), waiting for me to sprint to catch up to him. We run the last .25-mile holding hands and cross the finish line together. .58:08. But we are not winded, and I feel as if I could go again. We head off to the post race parties, eating steak burritos (another luxury I will not see until another race day), guzzling chocolate milk (another race day only love) and talk about the crowd of people, the costumes, what we liked, where we lagged and how much faster I should have gone! Next time, I will.

Running Feeds my Soul

2011-01-31T15:01:00.001-08:00

Running feeds my Soul - it is because I am able to hear Him so clearly when I run. No matter what is on my playlist, I can hear Him talking to me. No matter how hard the run is, I know He will carry me through it. Just the way He does in my daily life. Running involves discipline and I think our faith does as well. Running requires me to be disciplined about my food as well - keeping my body the temple of God requires me to eat clean and keep it healthy. I have found that eatting clean is the best thing for my body, my weight and self confidence.

I follow most of what typical clean eatting is all about - a lot of raw veggies, certain fruits (blueberries & strawberries mostly, with the occassional apple and clementine), lean meats (venison is a fave, followed by tilipia and chicken breast). I love it. It is easy to remember what is good and healthy for my body and what is not. I avoid sugar, and anything white (no potatoes, no pasta, no breads). I love whole grain, dark breads, sweet potatoes about once a month, pasta only the night before a long run and pop chips when I'm having a craving. I know it sounds very strict, but it is super easy for me. I take all my food with me to camp as they serve food I'd never eat, and now that McDonalds has oatmeal, I can even stop in there on a long road trip!

One day I'll ist my favorite foods! You'd be suprprised at how much I eat in a day! I have several running goals set for this year. I wanted to do the livestrong half marathon but I have camp and have decided that I'll do the Capital 10K in Austin as it is the first run of the year that I won't have camp! I'll also tackle the infamous Warrior Dash in April and have recently been asked to participate in the Beach to Bay in honor of the marines in our family that are being deployed! So excited about that one.

Running keeps me focused and helps me connect with God when life is getting too loud to hear Him anywhere else. It has given me self confidence I have never had, and has helped me realize the importance of my body as a temple to Him. I have finally learned that I don't have to hate my body but instead can admire it for the accomplishments that it has achieved, for the things that it helps me accomplish. Running feeds my soul, and my spirit. What feeds yours?

MidWinter Season

2011-01-31T14:42:00.000-08:00

In May 2010, I was hired as the youth events coordinator for the SWTC (Southwest Texas United Methodist Conference). It is a blessing - I truly love what I do and truly love the people that I work with. It's been a great journey getting here and I couldn't be more pleased with where God has me at. What a gift to be allowed to chase God's desire in your job as well as in your daily life!

This is MidWinter Season - we have 6 weekend retreats that start in January and end in February - all back to back. It's an amazing season - we will have approximately 1200+ students come through our camps and many will make first time commitments, some will make renewals, and some will answer a call to ministry. The camps belong to God and we desperately seek to bring Him honor and glory in all that we do through the course of the weekend. From the time we start preparing, we begin praying and seeking discernment. He has handed us amazing teams of adults who volunteer and share a love for Him and for youth. 3 of our camps are at Mt Wesley in Kerrville and 2 are at Echo Valley at the HEB Foundation camps in Leakey, Texas. 1 is a mission focused weekend and we are in San Antonio where we focus on serving the Blessed (a word we use for the homeless and less fortunate). We are truly blessed when we serve.

This past weekend we served in San Antonio, as it was our Midwinter Mission. We must have handed out 100 sack lunches, and over 300 coats and blankets. We ate cold breakfast and a dinner equalivent to what would have been served in a soup kitchen. We had amazing worship with the Mark Swayze Band and Ryan Barnett delivered the Word to us. It was a weekend of learning as well. We learned that just the simple act of the human touch could change a person's life. We learned that we can live with less. We learned that how people look is not necessarily reflective of what is in their soul and spirit. We learned that when we sit and eat side by side with the Blessed, that they will share their lives with you and allow you, in turn, to share God with them. We learned that they are talented, creative and resilient. We learned that they are broken and are needing love and respect. We learned that our students are able to fall in love with the ones that He loves and that they don't think twice about giving away their most beloved items to someone who has nothing. But we knew all that - because this is the same way they behave when we "play with the homeless" during our summer camp - where they live among the homeless for almost a whole week.

I'm home now, for four days. For the next four days, I'll prep and pray for the upcoming weekend retreat, run as many miles as I can during the week and will even prepare to desperately miss my family while I'm at camp. I'll probably even sub a few days at the high school so I can see the local students and share laughter and stories with them. And if I tire, I know that He will re-energize me as He always does. I know that He carries me through the MidWinter season, keeping my mind and heart open to everything He shows me. I work for an amazing God.

Another Blessing

2010-05-14T07:55:00.000-07:00

I don't think I've posted pics of our grand daughter and wanted to share with the world, the cutest baby I know. She isn't a baby exactly, she's over 2 now and looks just like her mother. She lives 9 hours away and we don't get to see her often enough - due to the travel, economy and our own crazy, personal schedules. We always say we will do better, but it seems that time often flies before and before we know it, another 9 months has passed before we get to see her! Wish she lived closer.

Living a Blessed Life

2010-04-03T21:35:00.000-07:00

is a rare feeling that so many don't get to experience. I am blessed because I truly feel that way. Most days at least. At the end of the day, I look back at the days events: was I a good parent, did I lose patience with the kids when I shouldn't have? Was I a good wife? Did I support my hsuband in the best way that I could that day? I count my blessings and I know that I am truly blessed and have so much to be grateful. I am glad that I can say that. In this economy, it isn't often that people can say that but even though we are living on a tighter budget than ever before, we are together, in our house and haven't lost our cars. I am truly blessed because my family, while not perfect, is general pretty great! I am truly blessed because I get to work for God.

Hate/Love Relationship

2010-03-22T20:03:00.001-07:00

with running is what I seem to have developed since August. I don't know why I started running, I just did. And I don't like it. But what I do like... is the results. And how it makes me feel. And the fact that I actually like myself more then I did. Let's face it, we women are evil to ourselves! We are our own worse critics, and we pick ourselves apart and are brutal on every "flaw" that we can come up with (and some that we don't have but think we do).

I started running in August because I was tired of being unhappy with my body and decided that I couldn't stand another moment whining about it. However, I have to say that in August, I didn't think I was fat. Nobody told me I was fat. Well, except... OK, so one person said I needed to lose a few pounds but really, do we ever listen to our moms? And my husband certainly wasn't complaining. After all, I had spent all summer P90xing and so I knew I wasn't fat.

But in August, my knee decided it no longer liked P90x and so I had to hit the treadmill while rehabbing the knee. And so I decided if I was going to hamstermill it, I would make it work to my advantage - on a 10 incline at 3.5 and before I knew it, I was walking at 4.0, and then running at 5.5 and then a 6.0.

Then, a person I know decided to do a half marathon and I was inspired. Random but inspired. And so I decided, I can do that. So I researched, studied and decided on a training program. And I made huge major changes to my diet (not really). I just cut out gluten, white food, unnatural sugars, processed foods and bread. So what do I eat? Ahh, that's another night and another post.

Long Story short, I have become obsessed with training and nutrition again (I go through these phases) and I enjoy it. Finally, a great way for my OCD to manifest itself. I'm up to 9 miles on my long runs, and my short runs are between 3 and 5 miles. I run 6 days a week. I run on the treadmill most days as it allows my ADHD to be fed by the remote control of the TV. And on weekends, I run with my beloved who is my biggest cheerleader.

I realize I must have been fat in August though. I made this realization when people who had not seen me for a few weeks said "OMG, you have lost soooooooo much weight". And then I realize I did - 35 lbs (28.5% weight loss). So that's some of the story. I still look at pictures (like the one taken at the zoo about 4 days ago) and still think I'm fat, but I'm going to work on that(but I'm a woman and I think my brain is simply hardwired that way).

I hate running but I love the fact that none of my shorts fit the other day, none of my bathing suits fit anymore, and none of my blue jeans fit. I know - no sympathy. I'm not bragging - I'm just saying that is the only love part to the running relationship.

My husband told his friend (he has more than one, but he was just talking to one) the other day, that he hates running but because I love it so much, he loves running with me. I corrected him and said - I hate running but I love what happens afterwards. So now, we hate running together. And the side benefit, totally unexpected, is that on Saturdays when we do our long run - it's up to 1 1/2 hours of just we time. Him, Me and Him encouraging me the whole way. Okay - I absolutely Love that part!

Long time, no Blog

2010-03-16T19:42:00.001-07:00

Argh - it's been eons since I've last blogged and I wish that I could promise that I will be more frequent with picking it back up, but that's just one less pressure I need right now. Watch the point get made! Since last blog, I:

Have been freelancing for the SWTX conference with their youth camps, writing curriculum, helping design, train our servant team (summer camp work crew), directed 6 summer camps, either directed or coordinated 6 weekend mid-winter camps, lost 33 lbs (28.5% body fat), began training for a half = marathon, helped my husband open a non-profit jiujitsu gym, coordinated and directed a Get Fit Challenge for local teachers (season 2 starts in 5 days), am currently taking 4 college classes (8 week classes online), subbed 4 out of 5 days at the high school (okay, lately, its been 5 out of 5 days) and learned how to work my blackberry!

I've been a little busy - so busy in fact, that I haven't really even gotten to work on any photography! I squeeze in photography whenever I can but other than that, nothing to write home about.

I would like to blog more, I think it helps clear my mind! Okay, enough mind clearing for the night - gotta go do the dishes.

New School Year Begins

2009-08-21T19:54:00.000-07:00

Summer is gone and I haven't had time to blog! Joshua will be starting 3rd grade and Michaleh will be a sophmore. She will be at a new school - literally new! They just built it and I'm not sure that is 100% ready to go! And Joshua will be going to a different elementary school. We all have met the teachers, toured the buildings, bought the school supplies and clothes and so I guess we are all ready!
Joshua will also be turning 8 as well and we'll e celebrating it with five of his friends. Nothing big this year.
It seems that the economy has affected us so much that we didn't even take a vacation this summer! What going back to school means to me is that I get to go back to substituting at the high school - which I love - but doesn't really pay well.
The gym has been hard work - not a lot of business but we do have 4 young men who are training hard every night and are preparing for Battle of HTown (Houston). We're busy doing fundraisers in order to cover their expenses. In exchange for their hard work, no drinking/smoking and required community service, we agree to pay their lodging, transportation and registrtion as well as meals. Maybe this is what God is wanting us to do with them gym - but it would be nice to have 10 pay a monthly fee so we could cover our utilities!
Camp Season is over but I've signed on for another year of directing. I'll soon be writing curriculum, looking at registrations, and stressing! I can't wait!
Guess that brings everyone up to speed! Maybe I'll find more time once school starts to update the blogs!

Quick Update

2009-07-06T21:29:00.000-07:00

O My - I've been so insanely busy that updating the blog has been last on my mind - but I realize that I really need to do it more often and so I've made a commitment to do just that (at least for the next few days). You can read about my summer insanity under my youth ministry blog and that will fill you in on all the fun I'm having.

We have also been working to get our non-profit gym up and running. And so I have got to spend the next three weeks really focused on just that. We would love to see kids from our town in the gym nightly so we know they aren't out making bad decisions. We have lost two teens to death this week - one from drinking and driving and the other one shot (unknown why yet). I'm busy looking for grants and anything else to help make this happen. It is also our chance to share with them about God.

We did take off Saturday and relax at Llano River for fourth of July. Here's a pic of Chris - you can tell he's really benefiting from that P90X!

Cub Scout Campout & 20th anniversary

2009-06-01T16:32:00.000-07:00

We have definitely been busy - between the gym, summer starting, school ending, photography, and cub scouting - it is a rare day when I find time to blog. All my websites need updating - especially my photography website. We are hoping that the studio will get completed soon as I have a maternity shoot coming up - but in the meantime, we find ourselves on yet another scout camp out.

Chris and I will be celebrating our 20th anniversary tomorrow. By doing nothing. Now hold on - it's a Tuesday and we live in a small town and run a gym where we have to be at every night. So this weekend, we are ditching the kids and heading to San Antonio for a long weekend with just each other. We were laughing because we cannot remember the last time we went somewhere for a weekend without the children.

I'd tell you what I got Chris for our anniversary but on the very OFF CHANCE that he might actually read my blog - I won't. I think it is hooky but I'm sure he'll love it. He's more of the romantic than I am - which I adore. I can't wait to see what he's been plotting and I know he has because he has had several covert conversations with our middle child. And if I ask, he just says - if you want, I'll tell you but then you won't be surprised - which usually shuts me right up! Not sure what we 'll do in San Antonio - but I'll have my camera and my best guy - what more could I ask for!

I'm Back!

2009-05-23T16:06:00.000-07:00

It's been forever since I've blogged but I've been insanely busy - subbing at the high school, photography shoots, working at our new gym! About 8 weeks ago, Chris was "given" a part of a building to use as a gym. He really needed a place to work ot and a client who had a building just sitting there empty. Long story short, he had another acquaintance who was closing his gym and gave him a whole bunch of equipment. Then the church loaned him the mixed martial arts mats. We had a bunch of boxing equipment and when we got the space all loaded up, it became evident that we had this super cool fighting facility.
So, we put the word out - word of mouth advertising no print - and now we have about 30 members. Which might not seem like a lot - but it is limited space and only open for 2 hours a night. We also teach two cardio classes (or I do). We are planning on opening from 5 - 11 once summer starts which is in a week or two and so we suspect many more!
There is also a room in the building that I am using for a photo studio - we have to paint walls and floor but once that's done - it's good to go! So excited!!
I've also been looking into grants for teaching as I've about decided to go back to college and get my teaching degree, and I've been working on developing a professional photography website.
Add to that - the extras: Cub scouts, mom's taxi surface, businessman's paperwork woman, etc. I've included a shoot of our recent bridging over - where Joshua's pack bridges over into Bear!

A Night at The Rescue - Austin

2009-04-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

Anna Lee and I headed to Austin Sunday, August 26th to reinforce those that were at the Rescue down at the Capitol. We were a little surprised when we parked and got to the camp as there were so few people! What happened to the 700 from the night before?
Maya Angelou was scheduled to come out at noon to Rescue everyone, but apparently she took ill and was unable to come. I guess lot of people got discouraged and decided to leave.

As night set in, Courtney Smith showed up to stay the night. We then laid out our tarps, and prepared for a long night. Then the cops showed up. Apparently, unless you have a permit, you can not sleep on the capitol lawn - and apparently, the protest permit had expired. Then we heard about the weather. Huge Storms with lightening. We debated for a while on what to do. Sleeping under trees with lightening was not a good ideal - we had to figure something out. Finally, after much debate, we decided to call it a night and head home. At 1:30 a.m.

I checked the website today and at 11:36, they were still there - in the rain, torrential rain, twittering and waiting.

I was so disappointed at the organization of this protest. Being my first protest - I just didn't know what to expect; however, I think it could have been organized so much better. I don't think it was a reflection on the invisible children organization - I just think that when you put 19 year olds in charge of such a huge event, it would help if they had oodles of experience! Our group decided they should have hired youth leaders to organize it!

I'll keep watching the website throughout the day - I've sent emails to various news channels (seen nothing on the protest on any channel) and even to Bill O'Reilly (why isn't anyone showing anything about such huge international event?). Hopefully those that are left (college students) will be rescued soon.

CubMobile Race 2009

2009-04-25T17:36:00.000-07:00

Today was our annual CubMobile Race in Lampasas. It is one of the favorites!! Our kids are amazing as always. Last year, we took last place. But this year, we took FIRST!! Wahoo! There are lots of pictures at my picasa web page so if you want to see exactly what a cubmobile looks like, check it out at http://picasaweb.google.com/uthmama/CubmobileRace2009#. All in all, it was a great day - a chance to reconnect with friends, get a lot of sun and cheer on our favorite cubbies!! Whew - can't wait to take a break!!

RESCUE US!

2009-04-23T15:23:00.000-07:00

This weekend, the Jackson Family will participate in an event in Austin called The Rescue. To learn more about this amazing event, check out an amazing website - www.invisiblechildren.com.

The plight in Africa is a burden that both Chris and I share, and so with our tshirts in hand, backpacks packed, and Joshua in tow, we will be heading down to UT where we will join about 3000 others and walk in silence to our refugee site (aka The Capitol). We will wait there until a mogul shows up to rescue us. A mogul is member of the media, someone with the government or a celebrity. Letters and emails as well as youtubes have been going all month in order to get the attention of this high profile types to bring them to our event.

If you are not in the mood to check out the invisible children website then the short version of why we are doing what we are doing this weekend is to bring attention to the plight of the 3000+ children who have been abducted by Kony and forced into the LRA (Lords Resistant Army). The LRA is the group of terrorists that are terrorizing their own - genocide. These children are the only ones left for Kony to brainwash into killing for him. He targets boys ages 5 - 12 and gives them a choice - to kill or be killed. Often, they have already seen their entire families destroyed by this man.

Add to that, the children that fear for their lives and become night commuters in order to escape Kony and his evilness. And then add the children and families that are forced out of their villages and into refugee camps (where they have been told their needs would be met) where they spend the entire day searching for food, building fire, walking miles for water (which most be boiled)and basically trying to figure out how to survive (and by survive - I mean eat 1 meal a day). Their basic needs are not truly met in these camps and most would rather go back to their villages and fend for themselves. Children are not able to go to school, yet their parents must pay a fee for them not going to school; however, their parents can rarely if ever get a job.

I get very upset when I think how powerful this nation of ours is and yet, we have not stepped in to put an end to such terrorism. When the war on terror was proclaimed, why did we choose to overlook the plight of 1000s of Africans? Is it because we have no oil interests there? Or because they did not directly end American lives? I know that America cannot super impose itself on every nation in need, but from what I have studied, we've been asked to intervene on this situation and we have not. My question is Why? I know this is not a politically correct commentary - so please don't send me a gazillion angry emails. I supported what Bush did as far as going after the SOBs of 9/11.

Today, I have worn my AK47 in remembrance of the children stolen by Kony, and as a why to share about the event on Saturday.

If you do not hear from us soon - please come to Austin and bring a mogul to rescue us! The kids really need to go to school Monday.

The Rescue!

2009-04-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

Chris and I have committed to participating in The Rescue - a call to action for Invisible Children. The Rescue will take place in Austin, April 25th (not to mention about 100 other cities, both international and stateside). Invisible Children is about rescuing and putting an end to the children that are abducted by the LRA in Sudan, Uganda and throughout Africa. The LRA cannot find any adults that want to participate in their genocide war and have resorted to abducting young boys, ages 5 - 12, brainwashing them and either making them kill others or be killed. There really are no words to describe the brutality.

Several years ago, 3 college students went to Africa seeking the truth and documented it in this amazing video. They have since put together and promoted various outreach "activities" in order to educate not only us "lay people" but to educate the government of the US. How could we possibly continue to turn our heads when children are being massacred, and made to kill in order to survive? How is it that America watches 1000s of families, many children whose parents have died, being displaced into refugee camps for the sake of survivable, yet only to slowly die because of lack of food, medical care, etc?

Chris and I have always supported Invisible Children; we've bought bracelets (which the money goes back into the refugee camps) every year since we first discovered the organization. We give them as gifts, we share the DVDs we've bought with anyone that will pay any attention to them. We have always had a youth event during the big Invisible Children events, and so this year, we are delighted to be able to fully participate in the event.

The premise is that a huge contact campaign has already started by participants to the media moguls as well as political figures and celebrities in order to get the attention this cause needs. We all walk 1 - 3 miles to our "refugee" site, and wait to be rescued (media, moguls, celebrities). We can't leave until someone shows. And we all wear the same shirt. There are approximately 800 people registered and confirmed for the Austin event. We are so excited.

If you want to learn more, check out their website at www.invisiblechildren.com. If you want to participate, find a city near you and register. If you want to support, we encourage you to do so. $12 for the Tri Campaign will help us save about 3000 children who are currently working in the LRA war. That's a month. That's two fast food lunches you would give up, 2 ventis at Starbucks, or the money that has slipped into the cushions in couch.

MOVED

2009-04-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

So I got the house all moved around, rearranged the Living Room and Bedroom, found a place for my home office (still no studio), and Chris even got a space at a building that he has put together for his gym. He calls it his underground gym - it's a big warehouse style space, where he is able to put the wrestling mats, the speedbag, punching bags, weights and machines, climbing ropes, tires and so much more. He is able to have clients come and work out with them, and he is going to begin teaching his classes next monday. Maybe this will get to be so big, that the owner of the building realizes what a great investment it will be, and will allow us to use the whole building instead of just the warehouse section! That would be cool.

I am hoping to get Chris for a photoshoot this weekend, as I think it would make for some great artistic pictures and business cards! Can't wait!

With the workout space no longer being an issue, and since I rearranged all the other rooms to make more space - I know have a space that I am hoping we can convert into a studio. I want to get the gym up and going first though, as most of my shoots can be done on location and I really don't want to do a lot of studio shoots anyway.

So that was last week, moving and cleaning and teaching. And then, the weekend hit. And we were host to 17 amazing sophomore girls for a weekend retreat our church hosted for the local youth called Disciple Now (aka DNow). We had Scott Venable as the speaker and the Justin Cofield band (check out my youth ministry blog for more links to these resources) lead worship. They were fantastic. Our youth pastor did a great job in putting all of this together. The Holy Spirit was obviously there - you could feel Him. Our youth did a prayer walk through town, praying for people at their homes, over the town. They worked various mission sites, and studied His word in Small groups. And they ate a ton (I do believe that teen girls eat more than football players)! It was exhausting and amazing. It was such a great gift to be on this side of it for a change - it has been years that I've been the one that puts everything together and worrying about every single detail (and there's always a ton of those). This was a great weekend where I got to enjoy the girls, the speaker, the missions, the prayers and the worship - with none of the worry! I might be able to get used to this!