The Javelina Bomb

I Changed My Mind, I Want Anthony Weiner Back In Politics

2013-05-23T11:50:00.001-07:00

For the headlines alone...

Bitch

2013-05-17T01:35:00.001-07:00

How many God-damned staffers does this piece of crap have that could have held a fricken umbrella? Or hey, how about, "It looks like rain. Let's hold this little shindig inside." But no, the middle finger that is our commander-in-chief decided to use a couple of Marines as umbrella stands. Gee, I wonder if that explains this?

Counterproposal; Music Friday

2013-05-03T01:54:00.000-07:00

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

2013-04-22T02:05:00.002-07:00

"As I said, the courtroom was mostly empty."
The New York Times looks in the mirror, doesn't bother to see themselves
C'mon people. Why can't you have empathy for the terrorists?
Remember when CNN used to dominate cable news?
Dianne Feinstein: The element of surprise is just as good as an assault weapon or something
Hmmm...

The Ultimate Palate Cleanser

2013-04-18T02:47:00.002-07:00

This Is What It Sounds Like When Doves Cry

2013-04-18T02:46:00.002-07:00

He seems so...angry. But like he's so angry that he's about to burst into tears, as if his man came home smelling like that hairdresser down the street with the bad weave but he can't call him on it because he told him he trusted him after that last fight so he has to keep it inside. Be strong, Barry. You still got ObamaCare. But yeah, he sounds peeved. And like everyone else I'm going to point out that he seems more upset at the political defeat than about what motivated it.

Oh, and don't bother doing one of those word cloud things because it's going to be one giant "90%". I don't know where that number came from because it's awfully darn clear that 90% didn't support this bill or senators wouldn't be scared out of their minds at being voted out of their jobs. Seems obvious to me but whatever.

Anyway, my favorite reality bender is that "a wide majority" of NRA households supported this bill. I had no idea. I just assumed it was the NRA who was trying to stop this legislation but I guess it was someone else. It's a good thing too because the NRA spent almost three million dollars lobbying last year and who could withstand an onslaught of that magnitude? Why that's almost what Obama spends flying around the country for political props!

The one thing I do know is that I think this one hurt. Lame duck status comes up pretty quickly in your second term and with all the political capital Obama expended he couldn't even get this bill through the Democrat-controlled Senate. He probably assumed he could get it through there and spend most of his time shaming those evil House Republicans and either getting a bill passed which he would take credit for or setting up Republicans as child murderers and winning the House back next year. But instead he got his balls handed to him. And now he's pissed. Which should probably make the immigration bill debate extra fun.

And p.s.

Serious, You Guys...

2013-04-15T12:49:00.001-07:00

Gun control is not about registration....

Oh.

Politics 101

2013-04-12T14:46:00.002-07:00

"Here's a general rule," the president joked. "You don't put stuff on your head if you're president. That's politics 101. You never look good wearing something on your head."

A little late for that, MomJeans.

So maybe it was just what was on the helmet that offended his fashion sense.

Awesome

2013-04-08T15:46:00.004-07:00

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

2013-04-08T15:14:00.002-07:00

Leading from behind
Job interview: "Have you ever suffered brain damage so serious that it affects the way you think and interact with people?" "Yes." "Welcome to MSNBC, you're hired!"
Well that explains all those drones over the Vatican....
First dates don't usually include the risk of cannibalism but I guess some people just like to be different
At this point, I guess we should just be happy that he's not digging up children
Oh and I would just like to point out that the official gun of Arizona is the COLT Single Action Army. And also that we actually have an official gun. And it's a COLT. Hint hint. Nudge nudge. IYKWIMAITTYD, Colt.

It's A Music Friday The One Across The Hall

2013-03-29T00:42:00.000-07:00

Might As Well Say Something About Our Popelessness

2013-03-12T01:34:00.001-07:00

Like absolutely everyone else, I have no idea who the next pope will be. But I will say that if there is anything worse than listening to noted Christian-hater Christiane Amanpour's dysphonic voice while CNN uses her as a (mannish) voice of authority on all things papal, I don't know what that would be. I'll just assume they're using her because Richard Dawkins was busy. Whatever.

Anyway, I'm leaning toward (guessing) an Italian pope, and it also seems like it will be decided very quickly i.e. this week. Considering what's going on in Africa there may be a good chance that a pope comes from Africa if the conclave is looking to make a political statement. Some people think the longer the conclave goes the better the chances of having an American pope but I don't know. Oh, and if you're wondering what the response from the media will be like, it will probably be something like this...

Things I Suddenly Realized All Of A Sudden

2013-03-12T00:27:00.001-07:00

The later at night it is, the more commas I use,
After much consideration and a lot of soul-searching I have decided to bring sexy back
Sometimes I wish I was on Obama's drone kill list.
I need a theme song.
I like monkeys and werewolves. In that order.
Is anyone else bothered by the way Jabba the Hutt walks around naked in the Star Wars movies?
A gatling gun qualifies as a revolver, right?
Maybe it's just me but if you don't want to get caught making moonshine you probably shouldn't have a camera crew tagging along.
There's no proof Philosophy exists.
And this one from someone on Twitter: Cigarettes are a lot like hamsters. Perfectly harmless until you put one in your mouth and light it on fire.

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

2013-03-11T13:11:00.002-07:00

"This solution seems practical, especially in light of shortages..."
What real leadership looks like.
The media's taking Hugo Chavez' death pretty hard.
Professional Kennedy fellationist says you should just trust your government, gun nuts.
So proud. "I think what is different it seems, it's more course. It’s more vulgar. Maybe this is how everybody is these days, but the number of F-bombs being dropped by this White House, scholars are going to look in the national archives in 20 or 30 years and they're going to be shocked by the language that was coming out of this place."

I'm Not Terribly Encouraged By The Signature Of Obama's Choice For Treasury Secretary

2013-01-11T01:23:00.000-07:00

Wow, We've Lost Colorado For Good

2013-01-07T12:43:00.001-07:00

Wow.

"and I don't see a whole lot of difference between the shooting of this defenseless elk and the shooting of school children in Conneticut."

In related news, when are all the hippies supposed to die off again?

Your Picture Of The Day

2013-01-04T01:30:00.000-07:00

No, it's not a photoshop

It's A Why Are The Pretty Ones Always So Murder-y Music Friday

2013-01-04T00:30:00.000-07:00

Republicans Lost

2013-01-03T14:00:00.002-07:00

And they lost bad. Normally the media would be rending their clothes and beating their chests about how puppies and grandmothers will be murdered because of this legislation. And that's when they just win, when they're forced to give one small concession to those evil Rethuglicans. But look at the reaction from the media. No outrage. No screaming. It's over. Still don't believe me? Try this sickening pap. Hey, did you know the deficit goes up because of this fiscal cliff bill? Did you know that it actually raises taxes on the middle class? Shhhhhhh.....not too loud. Obama's legacy must not be tainted! Obama gets to say he kept his promise to spare the middle class from higher taxes when he really didn't and then gets what he really wanted all along, more kindling to fuel his socialist programs. Happy New Year.

Sigh.....

2013-01-02T02:22:00.000-07:00

An AllahPundit-esque Quotes Of The Deal

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The deal to take us back from the edge of the fiscal cliff (actual cliff not included) features $41 of real-as-a-heart-attack tax increases for every $1 of imaginary never-gonna-happen spending cuts.

What did the GOP get out of the deal? The loss of the last thing it actually stood for.

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” You can’t save all 100, so I’m not going to try? I don’t think that’s what the Red Cross guys teach you,” Norquist said. “Get as many out as you can. Save as many taxpayers as you can. That’s what this fight is about right now. The next fight is over spending.”

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“Go f— yourself,” Boehner sniped as he pointed his finger at Reid, according to multiple sources present.

Reid, a bit startled, replied: “What are you talking about?”

Boehner repeated: “Go f— yourself.”

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Biden should have been running this show for past month. He understands legislating - in contrast to his boss.

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Obama, speaking from the White House briefing room shortly after the vote, praised lawmakers for coming together to avert a tax increase that “could have sent the economy back into a recession.”

“A central premise of my campaign for president was the change the tax code that was too skewed toward the wealthy at the expense of working, middle-class Americans. Tonight, we’ve done that,” the president said.

But he signaled that the legislation was “just one step in the broader effort” of getting the nation’s finances in order while boosting growth and job creation.

“The deficit is still too high,” he said, warning Republicans that he would stick with his demands for a “balanced” approach blending spending cuts with revenue increases, notably from the rich and wealthy corporations.

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Less than an hour after Congress and the White House resolved the fiscal cliff, President Obama boarded Air Force One to return to his planned Hawaiian holiday vacation.

While in his native Hawaii, Obama his expected to spend time with his family at their private rental home; golfing on a local Marine base; and enjoying the outdoors on the beach or area hiking trails.

No word from the White House on when the president is expected to return.

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Hard to believe we might have the same leadership in the next Congress as we did for this process, but then not long ago it was also hard to believe we’d have the same leadership in the White House and the Senate in 2013 as we had in 2012. And yet here we are.

2012-12-25T00:00:00.000-07:00

Well, This Is It

2012-12-20T12:19:00.001-07:00

Apocalypse time. The day of reckoning. The Big checkout time. SMOD2012's election party. There were so many things I hadn't done this year yet. Blog posts left unposted. Car stereos left unstolen. Squirrels left unshotgunned and unstewed. Unsuspecting hobos left unchloroformed. It's all just so sad. Oh well. I plan to ride out it with a very wet martini (shaken) while this is being played on an endless loop.

Unless of course nothing happens tomorrow in which case I have a lot of Christmas shopping to do followed by a lot of eating and drinking. If I don't make it back before next year, Bon Natali e Bon Capudannu!

In Case Anyone Wants To Save Some Time...

2012-12-18T16:30:00.001-07:00

Here's how the "serious" conversation on gun violence works...

Conservative: "Crazy people shouldn't have guns"

Liberal: "All gun-owners are crazy"

(conversation over)

p.s. Thanks to Harvey at IMAO for the High Praise!

I Heard The News Today, Oh Boy

2012-12-18T11:32:00.000-07:00

"The lizard has these very tall, straight teeth and Obama has these tall, straight incisors and a great smile,"
Wow, this sure would reflect negatively on whoever is president if we still had one. (Or maybe the UN ambassador? No? Whatever.)
Soledad O'Brien: These statistics and facts you cite are too confusing for my tiny Liberal brain
Soledad O'Brien, abortion supporter, just can't stand Christmas carols because they remind her of child murder.
Hey kids, isn't it time to we drop this whole "journalism" facade since no one's buying it anyways?
No seriously, can we stop pretending?
Your picture of the week.

Until We Learn To Recognize The Signs Of Serious Mental Illness and Potentially Violent Behavior These Tragedies Will Continue To Happen

2012-12-14T19:59:00.001-07:00