I’ll have more info about the group coaching in the next couple of months, but for now, you can check out the article here:

https://www.datingnews.com/movers-and-shakers/jay-cataldo-combines-hypnosis-and-life-coaching-to-help-singles/

This will be a long read, so if you don’t have the time right now, just go check out this website instead:

http://performafuelnutrition.com

So here’s the story…

For the past few years, I’ve been working with a client named Devin Ford whose biggest dream was to become an elite level Crossfit competitor. If you’re unaware, Crossfit is a high-intensity competitive sport, combining heavy lifting, gymnastics, running, etc. that has blown up in recent years.

Devin’s goal was to reach the top of the Crossfit pack by pushing himself to his limits. The problem was that he’s not exactly “genetically gifted.” He was rather skinny when he first started training and he wanted to go from “skinny guy” to competing against the world’s fittest men, and somehow achieve this without using performance enhancing drugs (which is nearly impossible, since all the top guys are taking PED’s).

Devin was already more than halfway there when he sought me out for coaching. He just needed a few tweaks in certain areas so I began working on his mindset while he continued to study everything he could about exercise science and nutrition.

By religiously experimenting on himself (similar to Tim Ferris’ approach) and also on his clients (he owns a gym in Long Island) he was able to develop a unique system for enhancing his performance, which combines cutting-edge nutritional support with elite-level “strength periodization” (i.e., exercise program design). Eventually, he started to make a name for himself as he began competing against the best guys in the world, almost all of whom are bigger, stronger and faster than him.

This is impressive in and of itself, but what really sets him apart is that he’s hands-down the most knowledgeable guy around when it comes to evidence-based nutritional coaching. His unique fueling system became the staple of his success, and without it, he wouldn’t have been able to train as hard, or as often as he did. And he certainly wouldn’t have grown from a skinny 150lbs to 185lbs WITHOUT performance enhancing drugs or testosterone injections.

In case you’re wondering, these are his current stats at 185:

Snatch: 270lbs

Clean and Jerk: 330lbs

Max Handstand Pushups: 55+ unbroken

“Fran”: 2:05

“Helen”: 7:30

Deadlift: 500lbs

Squat: 410lbs

Max Chest to Bar pull-ups: 65

Pretty impressive, I know. So long story short, after watching him do the impossible multiple times over, I encouraged him to start his own coaching business to offer his unique nutrition advice to other Crossfit athletes.

And right off the bat, his guys were becoming stronger, breaking personal records, and just flat out crushing it in all areas.

I then became curious if he could get similar results for non-athletes who just wanted to get a little stronger, recover from an injury or lose some stubborn belly fat.

He took me up on my challenge and started coaching busy executives, stay-at-home moms and “little old ladies.” And again, the results were off the charts. People who had struggled with diets for years were finally melting off pounds and his hardgainers were starting to look jacked after increasing their muscle mass exponentially.

So what’s his big secret?

The secret is customization. No one diet or exercise plan works for everyone, and even when it does, it usually only works for a short time until your body adapts to it. Simply put, if you want to be successful over the long-run, you have to constantly be switching things up.

For example, one key concept Devin taught me is that your metabolism can down regulate without you being aware of it (i.e., eating too little can actually halt your fat loss). He gives an example of those girls you know who spend hours on the treadmill eating nothing but lettuce, but barely lose any weight. And this is more common than you might think.

Thankfully, there’s an easy fix for this…

One of his little fat burning tricks requires you to perform a metabolic reset for 2 weeks (and repeat this every 3 months or so). This fascinating protocol actually cranks up your metabolism and brings it out of “down regulation,” kicking your body into high gear and melting away that stubborn fat as you come back to peak metabolic activity.

This simple protocol alone can result in a 300% increase in fat loss in just a few weeks’ time.

And it also hints as to why almost all diet and exercise programs FAIL, no matter how closely you stick to them.

Simply put, your program needs to be specifically customized for your specific body type, your current metabolic rate, and the way your body tolerates certain foods (along with many other factors). PLUS, as you start to gain muscle and lose fat, your diet needs to be constantly tweaked multiple times along the way to support all of the changes happening.

Additionally, Devin has specific, easy-to-use objective measurement protocols that allow you to see fat loss as it happens and this is closely monitored to ensure you’re progressing as quickly as possible.

And now you know why almost all diets and exercise routines fail. Almost all of them take a one-size-fits-all approach and try to slap it on as many people as possible, hoping that at least a certain percentage will have decent short-term results.

So after learning some of these hacks and seeing the results he was getting for his clients with my own eyes, I decided to become a client myself to experience his program from the inside out. I was looking to pack on muscle while also getting rid of the belly I was developing (if you saw me in the NYC O-Gasm Videos from Oct 2016, you’ll see that I was starting to get a little pudgy Lol).

So I took the plunge and in just under 4 short months, I’ve already lost 15 lbs of fat while lifting more weight than I ever have before. I’m at about 15% (body fat percentage) right now and in another month or so, I plan on being pretty cut (if I can stop cheating with brownies on the weekends).

And the best part, is that I didn’t even follow his program 100% AND I did it all without steroids, testosterone boosters, or any quasi-legal supplements. And being that I’ll be 40 in a few months, I was surprised that I’m getting faster results than I ever did back when I was in my 20’s.

So I then convinced my girlfriend to become a client because she slowly gained 10lbs after a back injury left her nearly immobile for about a year. Two months in and she’s already lost the weight, plus her back is feeling much better due to the customized exercise programming Devin set up to help with her recovery.

Over the last couple months, many of my private coaching clients have started working with Devin and they’re all ecstatically happy about their results so far. If you go to his site, you’ll see some amazing testimonials (which I verified are all real people) showcasing a variety of impressive results.

I refuse to promote anything unless I believe in it 100%, which is why you’ll never see me offering affiliate hypnosis products (most are total crap!). But I stand behind Devin and his unique methodology, especially because I’m a stickler for health, above all else, and his system is also designed to improve your health and well-being, as a “side-effect.”

He calls it “Performafuel” because proper nutrition helps you perform better in all areas, from the boardroom to the bedroom. And as you start feeling better, you also become happier and healthier at the same time.

Yeah, I know health isn’t a sexy concept – for every person who googles “how to be healthy” there’s about a million who search for “how to get jacked and ripped.” But, in my opinion, health is far more important than anything else, and I’m happy to report that everything he’ll ask you to do is designed to make you look and feel your absolute best, while the markers in your blood-work will reflect significant health improvements and a lowered probability of illness down the road.

And, yes, everything he teaches has been researched and thoroughly tested in the real world. This is the highest-level evidence-based nutrition coaching and workout programming around. And it’s available for anyone who is simply tired of wasting time and ready to break through their plateaus to look and feel their absolute best.

I can go on and on, but I think you got the gist of it.

One more thing before I wrap this up…

I asked Devin to do me a huge favor and make himself personally available to anyone that I send his way. So for a limited time, anyone who mentions my name will get a complimentary 45min private coaching call, where you can bring him your biggest health and fitness challenge and he’ll break down the steps to solving it once and for all.

Wanna get jacked but you’re struggling as a hardgainer? Devin used to be super-skinny, so he’ll go over the best nutrition and workout routines for getting past that hurdle.

Need to lose a crazy amount of weight or just those last stubborn 10lbs? Easy peasey.

Do you have a serious health challenge (like Hashimoto’s or Type-2 Diabetes) and need advice on how to keep it under control (or in some cases, completely reverse it)? Devin’s worked with many people suffering from significant health issues and can give you expert-level advice and support for your particular condition

So go reach out to him at: devin@performafuelnutrition.com and put “Jay sent me” in the subject line (also send him your phone number in case his emails get stuck in your spam box). He’ll get back to you within 24 hours to set up your coaching call.

And I promise you this is a legit coaching call, and not a time-wasting fluff session or a 30 minute sales pitch. In fact, I told him not to mention anything about his coaching packages and programs unless you specifically ask him. I want you to have a zero-strings-attached way to see what this is all about and there’s no better way I know of than for Devin to privately demonstrate what he can do for you.

This is your chance to get your biggest health/fitness challenge solved by an elite-level coach and there’s nothing you have to do other than give him a clear picture of where you’re at. So shoot him an email OR go check out his website so you can learn more about his methods, check out the testimonials, etc.

Devin’s site: http://performafuelnutrition.com

That’s it for today. Enjoy the rest of your week

-Jay

Back in June of ’16, I launched my online hypnosis school, which I’ve been working on day and night for over a year. Thankfully, it’s been an incredible success and has allowed me to teach this difficult-to-learn modality to hundreds of people all over the world.

As always, I’m still coaching others one-on-one, although I’ve drastically scaled back the number of my steady clients to avoid burnout. Thankfully, things have finally calmed down a bit, so I’m ready to bring onboard a few more highly-motivated individuals. My selection process is a bit more stringent these days, as I only want people who are seriously committed to achieving their goals and dreams. But this is actually beneficial for everyone, because if we work together, you’re near-guaranteed to see incredible results.

In the last few years, I’ve greatly improved my coaching process to the point where I can help almost anyone create major life changes in a matter of months. I know that sounds almost impossible, but I see it happen day in and day out. All it takes is a strong desire to change and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. I’ll take care of the rest.

So what can you expect if we work together? Well, my clients come to me for a variety of reasons but we typically work on all areas of their lives simultaneously. You should expect to feel happier, healthier, less stressed, and more confident in your abilities while achieving a deep “knowing” that everything in your life is moving in the direction you want it to.

Some of my clients have tried everything under the sun, from psychotherapy to energy healing, and weren’t able to make even a tiny dent in their issues until they began working with me. My unique approach for tackling life’s challenges works primarily because I’m adamant about finding and removing the blockages that are keeping you stuck.

Almost always, there’s a part of you that doesn’t want to change, no matter how much you THINK you want to, on the surface. Until you address those blockages (doubts, fears, etc), you’ll continue to self-sabotage, sometimes for the rest of your life.

So, if you’ve been struggling with a challenge, even a small one, and you’re truly ready to get past it once and for all, then let’s hop on a quick phone call so I can show you the exact steps needed to overcome it. I can’t promise that I’ll take you on as a client, but I’ll do my best to help you get moving in the right direction, and for some people, that’s all they really need.

Sure, you can keep procrastinating and putting it off because, quite frankly, it will never feel like the right time to start working on yourself. But as time slips away, things will seem even more difficult for you a few months from now, so right now is the best time to take action. Let’s go and make it happen, together.

-Jay

Anyhoo, DatingAdvice.com was nice enough to write a feature article about me. I discuss the type of work I do with my clients, my own personal challenges growing up, and share some tips for those who are still struggling to find love.

Check it out here: http://www.datingadvice.com/for-men/jay-cataldo-motivates-singles-to-reach-their-potential

I’ll have some updates shortly, but in the meantime, I have a new book up on Amazon which you might be interested in. If you like money, that is.

“This Book Can Save You a Ton of Money”: http://tinyurl.com/gukmq8r

I wanted to let you in on something about my industry that’s a bit shady… something you’ll have to watch out for if you’re looking to work with a coach or therapist.

The biggest problem with the coaching industry, in my opinion, is that anyone can throw up a website and call themselves an expert.

In case you’re not aware, there is no agency or governing body that regulates life coaching. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, although some people can (and do) see this as an opportunity to “fake it till they make it.”

Secondly, most of the “coach training” programs are mediocre at best, graduating new coaches after just a few months of instruction. In fact, some of these training courses will gladly hand you a diploma after only 3 days!

Because of this practice, the industry is saturated with coaches who have very little experience.

Let’s take your job, for instance. Could you take someone off the street with zero know-how and train them to perfectly perform all of your duties in 3 months or less? I highly doubt it.

Unfortunately, the hypnosis industry has a similar problem. Most hypnosis certification workshops are typically conducted over the course of a weekend. Occasionally, you’ll find one that spans a full week but even this is nowhere near the amount of study required to be proficient.

This is why you’ll sometimes hear stories from friends and acquaintances about how they found life coaching (or hypnosis) to be a big waste of time and money. Most likely, their coach/hypnotist lacked sufficient training and had no business soliciting paying clients.

Before I started charging for my services, I had already attended at least a dozen seminars, read over one-hundred self-help books (and wrote a book myself), and worked with dozens of clients on a pro bono basis. Yet, I was STILL was hesitant to call myself an expert.

My point is, it takes years of study to master any subject, and coaching is no different.

So the big question is: With dozens of coaches and therapists to choose from, how will you know if they’re skilled enough to help you?

Sadly, there’s no easy answer to this. Ideally, they should be vouched for by a highly trusted source like a friend or relative. But since this won’t always be possible, I’ve compiled a list of questions to ask your prospective coach or therapist before you begin working with them. This simple process will help you weed out the pros from the rest of the pack.

Question 1: “How long have you been practicing?” 

A good rule of thumb is to find someone who has at least 5 years of experience although this isn’t always enough. I’ve attended trainings run by “experts” who’ve had over 20 years of experience but were still clueless!

Question 2: “How many clients have you worked with?” 

I personally worked with over 100 clients (one-on-one) before I considered myself to be a great coach. Excellence in any field requires many hours of your blood, sweat and tears.

Question 3: “May I see your client testimonials?” 

Ideally, they should have at least 20 testimonials on their website (or on online review sites) that are more detailed than just “Coach Joe Blow is awesome! Highly recommended!” Video testimonials are even better, although much harder to acquire since a large percentage of clients prefer to remain anonymous.

Question 4: “Do you have a guarantee of some sort?”

While coaches and hypnotists can’t guarantee that you’ll see results (since the outcome is highly dependent on the client’s participation in the process), they can and should have some way of guaranteeing your satisfaction.

Question 5: “What types of techniques and methodologies do you employ?”

All coaches and therapists should be well versed in at least 2 or 3 healing modalities such as hypnosis, EFT, EMDR, CBT, etc.

Question 6: “Will you be teaching me specific skills to manage my emotions on my own?”

A good coach will teach you how to manage your emotions without their help. If you need to run to your coach or therapist each time you feel down, they’ll be enabling you instead of empowering you.

Question 7: “How long on average will it take to see the results I’m looking for?” 

A good coach can help you make major changes (in multiple areas of your life) in less than 1 year. Contrast this with some types of therapy where after 10 years you may still feel like you haven’t made significant progress. Also, be wary if they promise dramatic changes in just a couple of sessions. While this does happen sometimes, it’s far from typical.

Question 8: If you’re speaking to a therapist, ask them if they plan to help you overcome your problem organically or if they’ll be quick to medicate you. 

If they firmly believe your problem is a permanent one which needs to be managed with pharmaceuticals, I recommend that you find another practitioner.

Question 9: “Have you published any books, created products or conducted seminars?”

All of the pros do this.

Question 10: “Have you created any proprietary systems or methodologies?” 

Do they create new protocols or just rehash content from other thought leaders? If they’re just rehashing content, then you might want to work with whoever trained them, instead.

Question 11: “Have you been featured on television or in any prominent publications?” 

It’s good to know that the media is interested in your coach’s ideas, although it’s easy nowadays for almost anyone to be quoted by a major newspaper or magazine.

Question 12: “What is your process for helping me re-program my mind and change my beliefs?” 

If they don’t know how to reprogram you for success, then they’re not much more than an expensive accountability partner.

Question 13: “Do you offer a fr.ee session or some sort of introductory package?” 

This will help you determine whether or not they understand your challenges and if you feel comfortable with them before moving forward.

Question 14 (to ask yourself): Are they are reasonably expensive?

In today’s day and age, you usually get what you pay for. You might be able to find a coach who only charges $50 a session but most likely they’re fresh out of coaching school and are desperate for your business. The pros charge what they’re worth and they’re worth every penny.

For instance, I’m guessing you wouldn’t hire a brain surgeon who was offering a 50% off Groupon. Similarly, it’s not the best idea to skimp on the person who is going to help you transform your entire life.

Question 15: “What do you do to keep your skills current?”

I don’t care how amazing you are. There’s always more to learn. A good coach will be constantly reading, studying and attending trainings, if for no other reason than to keep his chops up.

Case in point, one of my personal coaches recently trained Tony Robbins himself because Tony wasn’t entirely satisfied with his client’s results in group settings. If Tony Robbins is still learning new methodologies then everyone else should be, as well.

I hope you found this helpful. More tips on the way shortly.

Committed to your success,

-Jay

I was recently interviewed in the March issue of Cosmopolitan about how to get over past hurts and move on with your life. The article, however, was a bit disappointing since they only used about 5 minutes worth of the 30 minute interview. I’m fully aware of their space constraints but since the published tips were taken out of context, their readers are going to have some difficulty implementing them.

To rectify the situation, I’ve decided to post all of the tips from the interview on my blog so you can successfully use them to let go of anything that’s been holding you back. Give them a shot and let me know how well they work for you.

You can read the original Cosmo article here: http://jaycataldo.com/cosmo.pdf

Preliminary Steps (to be completed before main forgiveness work):

Step 1: Make a list of everything that’s been bothering you.

Step 2: Starting with the first item, begin to reflect on how much MORE pain you’re feeling by choosing to hold onto it. The Buddha said that holding onto anger is like holding on to a hot coal with the intention of burning someone else. YOU are the only one who gets hurt. Ask yourself: “How is holding onto this incident negatively affecting my life?” Write down your insights.

Step 3: Take full responsibility for all of your pain. If you have grieved for a few months and the situation still feels raw, then it’s because you are choosing to not move on. By making this choice you are playing a victim role. Would you rather continue to be a victim or be free of your pain for good? It might be time to make a new choice.

Step 4: What would your future self say to you about this issue? Would they tell you it was a good idea to hold on to the pain for another 5 years or that it was a smart decision to let it go and move on? Ask yourself: “Will I still be upset about this issue 5 years from now?” If not, then why not let it go right now?

Step 5: Once you’re ready, start your forgiveness work. Remember to go back to your list and complete all of these steps for each item.

Forgiveness Work

Step 1: You first need to understand what forgiveness is and how it benefits only YOU, not the other person. Forgiveness is a completely internal process; you don’t have to let the person know you’ve forgiven them, nor do you ever need to interact with them again. You’ll know your work is done when you can think about the issue and no emotional distress arises.

Step 2: Acknowledge the offense. Let the uncomfortable feelings come up and feel them as intensely as possible with your eyes closed. Don’t try to distract yourself or shut them out. Sit with all the feelings until they dissipate (it could take anywhere from 1-15 minutes). The key is to let go of the situation (stop thinking about it) once the feelings come up and then focus only on the sensations in your body from that point forward. Perform this step each time these feelings come up over the course of the week.

Step 3: Once the feelings have left, picture the offender in your mind’s eye and say whatever you need to say to them. Get it all off your chest. Don’t hold anything back.

Step 4: Ask yourself, “Was it the incident itself that hurt me or the way I chose to label it that’s causing me pain?” Can you change how you look at it the situation/see it from a different perspective? Write down any insights.

Step 5: Was there a lesson to be learned from the experience? Write this down. What can you do to make sure this type of situation can never happen to you again (or at least minimize the chances of this)?

Step 6: Did you gain anything positive from this experience (strength, new insights, etc)? Do you know anyone who has suffered through a similar circumstance but turned out ok in the end? Write all of this down.

Step 7: Are you experiencing any secondary benefits from holding on to this pain? Many times we will be reluctant to let go of the problem if we are benefitting from it in some way. Be honest with yourself. Do you get extra attention (from friends, family, etc) by holding on to the past and not forgiving this person? Can you achieve these benefits some other way? How?

Step 8: Tell yourself the offender is just like you, trying to seek out pleasure and avoid pain. They are just doing the best they can and, since we’re all human, we all frequently make mistakes. Sometimes, people have deep-seated issues that lead them to purposely try to hurt others. They are usually replaying some childhood drama that has nothing to do with you, other than you just happened to get caught up in it.

Step 9: Ask yourself if you have ever done something similar to something else. Have you ever hurt someone’s feelings, etc? Didn’t you wish you could have been forgiven for your own transgression?

Step 10: Ask yourself: “What would an independent 3rd party say about this entire situation and the way I’ve been handling it?” Write down your insights.

Step 11: Simply decide to forgive them and let the situation go. Say “I forgive you and set you free” to the person in your mind’s eye. You do NOT have to do this in the real world. In fact, you don’t have to let the offender know you’ve forgiven them if you don’t want to. Just wish them the best in your heart and hope they get to a place where they no longer have to act this way towards others.

Step 12: Forgive yourself for the part you played in the situation. You were only doing the best you could at the time so let go of all blame, shame and guilt regarding your actions. If this is tough, repeat the above steps again on your own part in the situation.

Step 13: Now it’s time to move on. What would you be doing if this incident never happened? Pick a goal you’d like to achieve now that this old incident can no longer hold you back. What’s the smallest step you can take right now in the direction of this goal? Go take that step.

Troubleshooting:

If you still find yourself thinking about the situation (or person), only allow yourself 5 minutes a day to think about it and feel bad (set a timer). Afterwards, force yourself to think of something else each and every time those thoughts pop up.

You can also snap a rubber band on your wrist each time the thoughts arise. Over time, they’ll come up less and less. After the snap, make the mental pictures of the incident small, dark, disassociated (see yourself in the picture) and make it float far away from your face. Notice how your feelings start to change after making these modifications.

If the feelings come back and overwhelm you, go back to step 2. Close your eyes and sit with your feelings until they dissipate.

If you get stuck, go and find a competent hypnotherapist or TIPI practitioner to help you release your negative emotions.

-Jay

To help you start the new year off on the right foot, I’ve compiled 28 of my best tips which will help you transform every area of your life. Implement these simple principles and you’ll barely recocognize yourself this time next year.

Click on the link to see the full post: http://www.jaycataldo.com/28-tips-to-transform-your-life

Wishing you all the best in 2014,

-Jay

Have you ever asked yourself this question? I certainly have since I’ve been let down MANY times in the past.

I bring this up because I have an incredible gift for you today that’s (you guessed it) absolutely free. So please put your skepticism about “free” products aside because if you’re looking to make some major life changes then you’re going to find it extremely valuable.

Here’s the backstory…

A few weeks ago, my good friend Brian asked if he could interview me for one of his new products. Brian’s a fellow dating coach and a really great guy so of course I said yes. His idea was to pick my brain about my home study course “Limitless” and hook his audience up with some great tips on creating a happier and more exciting life.

So we got on the phone and started doing our thing. We ended up having so much fun that we went WAY over the scheduled time (I think we spoke for two and a half hours).

But the problem was, we barely scratched the surface of what I wanted to cover.

So we decided to do a second call. And then a third. And by the time we finished up, we had discussed every topic I cover in Limitless and were sitting on 7 hours of straight content. In fact, I estimate that I gave away about 30% of what’s covered in my course (and considering Limitless takes over 3 months to get through, that’s a TON of content).

Now our first impulse was to sell these recordings as a stand-alone product. But then we decided to hook everyone up on our e-mail lists by giving them away for free. Good karma and all that.

But please don’t get the wrong idea…

I know most “free” products are usually pretty crappy. But trust me on this, you’re going to get an INSANE amount of value from these interviews. Like I said, we touched on all 6 topics covered in Limitless:

Happiness
Confidence
Time Management
Self-Discipline
Stress Management
Mind Programming

And what’s really cool is that, while both men and women will benefit from this material, Brian tied everything we discussed back to dating and relationships. So the guys listening will get the added bonus of some really great dating and seduction tips, as well.

And ladies, don’t let this put you off. Brian is the furthest thing from one of those sleazy pickup artists you’re familiar with. He’s one of the most caring and compassionate guys I know and one of the few people from the “pickup” community who I trust and respect. All of his advice for dealing with women comes straight from the heart and I think you’ll be impressed by what he has to say.

Now here’s the part where I’m supposed to give you a pitch for my products and try to upsell you to something ridiculously expensive.

I mean, you’re getting a killer product totally free so of course you’re wondering… what’s the catch?

Well, quite frankly, there isn’t one. You don’t have to opt-in, answer a survey or anything of the sort. All you have to do is click the links below to download each part (3 recordings in total).

And again, while I’m not asking for anything in return, I always appreciate your feedback. If you find the recordings helpful, then please shoot me an email and let me know.

And if you thought they absolutely sucked, then let me know how much you hate me for wasting your time.

P.S. It will become VERY apparent from the recordings that Brian’s from the west coast and I’m from the east coast (New York, to be exact). He comes off super chill and laid back while I speak like a frantic basket case who just gulped down 4 pots of coffee. It’s a rather interesting dynamic that you might find a little funny.

Call #1:  At 29:33 in, you’re going to learn my most powerful technique for eliminating negative emotions. Make sure you use this because it works!

Call #2: You’re going to learn the God Technique, the Sponge Bob Technique and the fastest way to overcome procrastination.

Call #3:  We wrap things up by discussing the most effective ways to reduce anxiety and stress.  You’ll also learn the REAL reason your brain creates stress and the fastest way to neutralize this behavior.

DOWNLOAD LINKS: Simply enter your name and email address into the form on the right side of this page. You’ll instantly receive the download links along with a copy of my book “Push The Button!”

Enjoy!

-Jay

As I’m sure you already know, every superstar athlete, A-list actor and celebrity musician has a team of coaches invested in their results. Coaching is such an integral part of the success process and you’ll be hard-pressed to find a high-achiever who doesn’t attribute at least some of their success to coaching from a trusted mentor or advisor.

I personally have worked with many coaches throughout my lifetime and I’ll continue to be coached until the day I die. But enough about me. Let’s talk instead about what coaching is going to do for YOU.

Here are 8 reasons why almost everyone can MASSIVELY benefit from coaching:

1. To Be Heard
2. New Insights
3. “Secret” Techniques
4. Speed of Transformation
5. Motivation
6. Acceptance
7. Emotional Control
8. Accountability

To Be Heard: Newsweek magazine described life coaches as “part therapists, part consultants”.  Imagine having someone with whom you can discuss the innermost workings of your life; someone who REALLY listens and is excited to hear what’s on your mind. Many people feel they have no need for traditional therapy because they’re not “broken”. However, we all need guidance, support and someone in our corner who truly believes in us.

New Insights: No matter how intelligent, independent and self-sufficient you may be, sometimes life drops you into a quagmire. Your situation can seem absolutely hopeless until a friendly bystander kindly tosses you a rope and pulls you to safety.

When you work with a coach, you’ll have a set of eagle eyes looking at your challenges from all angles. From their unique perspective, your coach can see things that you missed yourself and will point out possibilities and solutions that were previously invisible. Human beings are designed to rely on each other for help and support and there’s no shame in this. Instead of shunning it, embrace this fact so you can utilize the power that comes from having an additional mind working diligently on solving your problems.

“Secret” Techniques and Strategies: Most people are unaware that systems exist for eliminating deep-seated fears and reprogramming unhelpful beliefs. In addition, when most guys learn of my system for winning back an ex-girlfriend, the first thing they say is “Man… I wish I’d known about you years ago. I made so many mistakes with my ex!”

Sadly, the most important tools and strategies for helping us live an amazing (and minimally stressful) life were NOT taught to us in grade school, high school or even college. As a result, we are at a massive disadvantage compared to others who were lucky enough to stumble upon this “secret” knowledge.

Think about what it would be like if you could remove limiting beliefs you’ve had your entire life (i.e. “I’m not smart enough,” “I’m terrible in social situations,” etc.) and replace them with far more empowering ones (“I can handle ANYTHING life throws at me!”). If you really believed that you could easily double your current salary or attract the partner of your dreams, wouldn’t you be acting a bit differently then you are now? I’d bet you would be.

A good coach will teach you a variety of “life-hacks” that will give you an almost unfair advantage over your perceived competition. Ideally, your coach should have an extensive background in hypnotherapy and mind programming as these tools are the FASTEST way to institute positive, permanent and powerful changes in an individual. Nothing else comes close.

Speed of Transformation: Let’s be frank here… I’d wager that you’re certainly smart enough to figure things out on your own. If you really apply yourself, there’s a good chance you’ll overcome all of your problems without outside assistance. However, it could very well take you ten years of daily effort! Do you really have that much time to waste? Doesn’t it make sense to find a short-cut? Working with a coach can shave YEARS off the learning curve and get you to where you want to be in a fraction of the usual time.

Motivation: Let’s face it… life has a way of making us feel discouraged more often than we might like. And when discouragement sets in, we inch closer and closer to making that dreadful decision which has stolen more dreams from mankind than any other: the decision to throw in the towel.

Working with a coach is one of the best ways to keep your enthusiasm and motivation levels sky high. As one of my clients put it: “I come in to your office feeling absolutely defeated by life but I leave feeling inspired, empowered and ready to take on the world.”

Acceptance: For many people, the pursuit of “atypical” goals and dreams (which can mean anything OTHER than becoming a doctor/lawyer/accountant like dear old mom suggests) can leave you feeling disconnected from family, friends and the rest of the world. You may feel like no one really understands you which can lead to frustration and despair.

We all benefit from surrounding ourselves with like-minded people but sometimes this is quite difficult. As a result, negative programming from our friends and families can wear us down over time and crush our desires to build a better life for ourselves.

Your coach will be a constant reminder that you’re not at all crazy and you ARE on the right track. When you finally take the plunge, you’ll become part of an elite group of individuals all around the world who are dedicated to bettering their performance and achieving extraordinary results.

Emotional Control: If I had to choose one single issue that causes more pain, misery and lack of success than anything else, it would have to be the inability to manage one’s emotions. Just think of all the many ways your fears have held you back in life. How much easier (and more fun!) would life be if you were able to successfully deal with ANY emotion that arises? How much more would you have accomplished if your feelings didn’t hold you back from doing the things you need to do? A good coach will help you develop the control you’ve been looking for.

Accountability: Simply put, when we raise our standards, we push ourselves to grow faster and further. Professional athletes are held accountable to their coaches, fans, and sponsors which puts them under an enormous amount of pressure. But on the flip side, it also pushes them to strive for absolute excellence. Unfortunately, the average human being is typically held accountable only to their boss (and maybe their spouse) and even then they’re typically expected to perform “reasonably well,” as opposed to “exceptionally well”.

Accountability not only keeps us in check but reminds us to be the best we can be at all times. This mindset shift encourages us to consistently perform at a much higher level than we would otherwise. Ask yourself this: Are you truly holding yourself accountable to a higher standard of excellence? If not, how might your life change over the next year if you adopted this mindset?

So there you have it – 8 reasons why you absolutely MUST get yourself coached so you can start designing the life you were meant to live. I truly believe that ANYONE, regardless of age, race, socio-economic status or inborn talent (or lack thereof) can learn to be successful (and even more importantly, HAPPY!) with the right guidance and support. My clients have proven this time and time again.

So go ahead now and think about the BIGGEST PROBLEM you’re facing. You know, the one that keeps you up at night and makes you SHAKE WITH FEAR just thinking about it. My question is, what’s going to happen if you don’t overcome it? What is your life going to look like if you keep going down this path? How much worse will you be affected a year from now? Five years from now? Ten years from now? How much of your life will be wasted as a result?

Ok stop! Now rewind that tape because thankfully none of that has happened yet (whew). So this time, I want you to imagine that you were able to get the help you needed to overcome this challenge. You beat it! It’s all over now. And because you were successful in this area, your confidence began to grow exponentially until success started mapping over to other areas of your life… so much so that you began confidently knocking down ALL of the challenges in your path.

What will your life look like a year from now if you keep traveling on THIS path? How about five years from now? Ten years? Now turn around and look back on today and notice how AMAZING your life has been. Notice all the ADVENTURES you’ve had. Notice all of the LOVE you’re surrounded with. Your sense of pride begins to swell as you notice just how GOOD this all feels. Congratulations! You’ve made it.

The purpose of that little exercise was to simply make you aware of how you might be missing out on a FAR more amazing lifestyle. And if you’re ready to take the plunge (or if you’re still on the fence) go ahead and click the link below to request a coaching consultation. We’ll then work to uncover exactly what’s been holding you back from getting what you want and, even more importantly, we’ll design an action plan to help you blast through your obstacles.

Now please let me be clear, I am only promising ONE session at this time. I have a limited amount of availability as well as an extensive screening process for all interested parties so I can’t promise that I will accept you as a full-time client. But at the very least, I will help you the best I can during our initial consultation.

Please click the link below and fill out the short form in the middle of the page. Someone from my office will then contact you within 24 hours to set up your appointment. I look forward to helping you become my next success story.

>>>>I’d Like to Book a Consultation<<<<

-Jay

In this TedTalks video, social psychologist Amy Cuddy explains how our body language can quickly change our hormone levels as well as our moods. This is not only fascinating but it confirms what I’ve been saying for years. Check it out and then go work on your “power poses.”

-Jay

“Limitless” was designed with only one thing in mind: to help you kick some serious ass out in the real world. It will specifically help you develop the SIX KEY SKILLS you’ll need to handle anything life can throw at you while relentlessly pursuing your goals and dreams. And these six skills are:

1. Confidence
2. Stress Management
3. Self-Discipline
4. Time Management
5. Mind Programming
6. Happiness (yes, happiness is a skill you can learn!)

So if you’ve made up your mind to do whatever it takes to make 2013 the BEST year of your life, then go test out the program RISK FREE for 30 days. I guarantee that it will change your entire life.

Check it out here: http://jaycataldo.com/limitless

Wishing you MASSIVE success in 2013,

-Jay

I wanted to share another success story that will inspire you to reach your goals in 2013. Ahmed (or Mickey as he prefers to be called by friends and family) started working with me less than two years ago. During our time together he has made some absolutely astonishing progress. I won’t bore you with all of his many accomplishments but I wanted to share his two biggest ones…

Not only has Mickey lost over 70 kilos (155lbs) but he also met his dream girl and they are due to get married some time next year!  This just goes to show how dedication to a goal and a bit of hard work can transform your life in a very short time. Mickey truly is an inspiration to us all and he has finally (after a bit of coaxing) created a new facebook page and started a blog which you can check out here: https://www.facebook.com/LiveLifeOnTrack

Now something else that’s inspiring for all the guys out there that think they need to be in perfect shape to attract a beautiful woman. Not only is Mickey’s fiance absolutely gorgeous but they started dating BEFORE he lost the weight. I’ve said many times that while it’s important for many reasons to be in shape, your social skills, ability to take action and belief in yourself as a man are far more important for attracting women than your physical appearance. If you had trouble accepting this in the past, well, here’s the proof.

Thanks again to Mickey for showing us all that ANYTHING is possible when your desire is strong enough. And if you’re ready to experience INSANE results like this, then go get yourself a coach for 2013.

-Jay

Football coach Lou Holtz once said “you’re either growing or you’re dying” and I couldn’t agree more.  The act of pushing yourself to learn and do as much as you can keeps your heart beating and your mind razor sharp. Acquiring new knowledge and skills is one of the best things you can do for yourself and research shows that it even helps stave off age-related mental decline.

But sadly, once most people graduate college, their thirst for knowledge starts to wither and die. Problem!

It’s been calculated that the average person reads about 2 books a year while the average CEO reads over 70! How many books have you read this year (not including 50 Shades of Grey ;))? How many new skills have you learned? How much have you improved on your existing skills? Are you becoming more intelligent? How about a better friend, partner or parent? Have you been working on your shyness or getting your anger under control?

If not, then what’s stopping you?

You are. That’s who.

Most people whine that they can’t find the time. But if you commit to giving up just an hour a day of crappy reality television for 1 year, then you’ve just recaptured 365 hours that you can use to transform yourself in any way you see fit.

So get cracking, I say!

And if you have no clue where to start, then let me share with you a few of my minor accomplishments (in the areas of business, health, relationships and plain-old soul fulfillment).

In the last six months:

I’ve attended four different seminars (so I can help my clients achieve better results in half the time)

I’ve watched/reviewed over 15 self-help products

I’ve read over 50 books (not an exaggeration for a speed-reader)

I’ve given up meat and fish and eat a 90% raw vegan diet (those who know me know how crazy this is coming from a prior Paleo fanatic)

I’ve given up all stimulants (coffee, tea, cacao, etc)

I’ve cut my food budget by 50%

I moved my bedtime 2 hours earlier (still trying to get my butt in bed by 10pm)

I now see clients only 4 days a week so I have extra time to spend with my girlfriend

I’ve enjoyed 3 vacations

I’ve cut out all major sources of negativity from my life

I’ve been working on increasing the intimacy in my romantic relationship

I began creating 2 new products (one of which should be available before Christmas)

I have improved my vocal tone and pronunciation (with the help of a speech coach)

I’ve been taking acting lessons (just for fun)

I was filmed for an upcoming documentary about hypnosis

My purpose of sharing this list is not to brag but to inspire you. I truly believe that ANYONE can change nearly anything about themselves once they make a firm commitment to doing so. Here are the simple steps to follow:

Step 1: Decide what you want to accomplish

Whether you want learn a new skill or improve on an existing one it all starts with a goal in mind. Once you have it, write it down and put it somewhere you can see every day.

Step 2: Determine the necessary actions

Do you want to be in a relationship by January 1st? If so, the steps might be to get a makeover, brush up on your social skills, and go out to places (consistently) where your dream partner would be likely to congregate. Write these steps down.

If you get stuck, then work backwards. Imagine you’ve achieved your goal. What did you do (in the future, of course) right before you achieved it? Got it? Great. Now ask yourself what you did right before that last step. And so on…

Step 3: Take action

Now that you have your list, start taking (daily) action. The key to building in new habits is to start very small (with the first baby step) and work on your consistency. It’s better to meditate 5 minutes a day to start than twice a week for 20 minutes. Once the habit is established, then you can crank up the amount of time invested.

Step 4: When you fall off the wagon, get back up immediately

Don’t waste time beating yourself up, just get right back on and keep moving. If you feel like giving up then remind yourself how horrible your life will be if you never achieve your goal and that YOU are the only one responsible for your future. Then daydream about how awesome success is going to feel. Make big, bright mental pictures of how happy you’ll be at the finish line. Then, go take more action.

And the last step is to simply… start right now! Stop wasting time because the world is changing faster than ever before and you need to keep up whether you like it or not.

One of my ex-girlfriends used to complain that she hated change, to which I replied, “Well get used to it because the only thing that doesn’t change is that fact that everything ALWAYS changes.”

No matter if you take action or not, you are either changing for better or for worse. So which will it be? The only person who decides your future is YOU so get going and make it beautiful.

P.S. If you understand the correlation between the title of this post and Eddie Murphy’s picture, you just won yourself a shiny new gold star. Wear it with pride.

-Jay

This video shows what happens when a bunch of guys get together in a crowded mall and try to convince everyone that their friend is a famous celebrity. What’s funny to me is how all the girls go crazy for this guy even though he pretends to be a completely fictional person (Thomas Elliot from the Spiderman movies). Yet, they pull it off so well that nobody questions their ruse. At the end, a random girls passes him a note asking if he would like to take her out for drinks tonight. No conversation, no game, just the wonders of social proof and faux celebrity status working in his favor.

Now I know you’re thinking “B.S… it’s just a bunch of little kids in the mall. This would never work with adults, etc.” Truth be told, ALL women will subconsciously be drawn towards high status men, yet, you don’t need to be a multi-millionaire or a tv star to entice more hotties to look your way.

The easy alternative is to become a high-status male in just one particular group. For instance, the manager at your local Applebees may be dating some of the female servers who would ordinarily be out of his league. Yet, in that particular context, he is viewed as the alpha male and is likely to appear more attractive to the females on staff then he would if they met him outside of work.

Of course, if you don’t have the luxury of being anyone’s boss (or you’re smart enough to avoid any possibility of a sexual harassment suit) then think up some other contexts in which men act as leaders of a group. Someone has to be the leader/connector of your social circle who is the go-to-guy (or girl) for setting up the group meetups. You might have a friend who teaches cardio-kickboxing classes to the fit women at his gym.  Maybe your other buddy is the organizer of the local toastmaster chapter and is responsible for leading off each meeting and welcoming in new members.

Have I gotten the wheels spinning? Good. Now find a group that you can infiltrate and work you way up the ranks OR go out and start your own group from scratch. You can try meetup.com and start a meetup group for any interest or hobby you might have. If your passion happens to be running, you might want to start your own running group to help people train for marathons (or just to keep in shape). The possibilities are endless so get out there and get things moving.

Oh and before you do, you might want to watch that video.

-Jay

I’m very proud to share with you another incredible success story from a former client. When I started working with Peter a couple of years back, his sole focus was repairing his relationship with his ex-wife to the exclusion of everything else.  While he believed this was all he cared about, he began to realize that he was, in fact, searching for a whole lot more…

“When I started working with you, Jay, I was just a few months out of a divorce.  I wanted to win my wife back, had read your book ‘Get Your Girl Back’ and believed that is exactly what I wanted.  But I realized after working with you that what I needed was not someone else to fulfill my life but my own inner strength, confidence and happiness.  It was a much greater gift than anything I thought I wanted when we started.  Jay, I can’t say enough about what you have done for me.  Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!”  -Peter Frumenti

Check out his before and after pics and then take a few minutes to watch Peter’s highly inspirational video. I promise that his story will motivate you to make some incredible changes in your own life.

From 440lbs to Marathon Runner – “Anyone Can Do It,” says Peter Frumenti.

Weighing 440lbs and feeling the strain of everyday life, Peter Frumenti transformed himself into a committed marathon runner, shedding over 200lbs. According to Peter, all it takes is the strength from within.  This is the story of how he lost everything but gained a whole new perspective on living…  To Learn more you can follow along his journey by subscribing to his Youtube Channel:  www.youtube.com/user/MakeTheDecision and his blog: www.pathtoawesome.com

Back when she came to me, Leslie was struggling through her fellowship at an NYC hospital. The daily hazing, the politics and the long, brutal hours took a serious toll on her energy and self-confidence. But to make matters worse, poor Leslie had an even bigger problem.

Even though she is a brilliant woman, due to her lack of strong test taking abilities, Leslie failed her final exam (the equivalent of the Bar Examination for surgeons) three times in a row. As a result, she was facing a huge dilemma: if she didn’t pass on the forth try, she wouldn’t be able to graduate which would leave her saddled with massive debt from her student loans and no way to pay them off. Needless to say, she was an emotional wreck.

Leslie’s dilemma proved to be a challenging case for me because, at the time, she didn’t believe it was possible to pass her test with only six weeks of prep time (most students need six months of straight study to get a passing grade). So we immediately went to work building up her confidence, allaying her doubts, crafting a study routine that worked with her hectic schedule and making sure she had ways to manage her emotional state whenever she experienced bouts of fear, overwhelm or hopelessness.

Fast forward six weeks later and I’m proud to say that Leslie aced her test and finished up her final classes without a hitch. And now that it’s coming up on two years since her big achievement, the latest is that her private practice is flourishing and she’s engaged to be married in the summer. Way to go Leslie! Hearing this great news had me beaming like a proud parent and I couldn’t wait to share the story with my community.

I’m hoping that Leslie’s struggle will inspire you to believe in yourself and realize that as long as there’s time on the clock, there’s ALWAYS a chance for a comeback. Never give up on yourself because you would be amazed at what kind of last minute victories you’re capable of pulling off. Leslie’s success is a great reminder of the inner greatness in all of us just waiting to be tapped into.

And just to kick up the inspiration factor a few notches, I’ve decided to share a few more success stories which have transpired over the last six months. Now keep in mind that a client doesn’t have to become a successful surgeon like Leslie to be worthy of mention. Anyone who overcomes a personal challenge, no matter how small, is a success in my book. My reasoning for this is simple: the secret to MASSIVE success in life is to keep building on small successes indefinitely. So go take that first step (no matter how small) and keep moving forward.

So here are a few more amazing individuals who have all displayed incredible courage, tenacity and strength of spirit. I’m incredibly thankful to be part of their lives.

(some names have been changed for reasons of privacy)

Todd, who has a history of being involved in abusive relationships, has finally found a partner who treats him with love and respect.

John has tremendously increased his confidence after transitioning to a new sales job and has increased his salary by over $40k.

Chris is finding himself much more calm, relaxed and confident around the women he is attracted to.

Teddy bested his old time in the NYC marathon this year by over an hour, managed to get his depression under control (he no longer takes antidepressants) and finally ended his three year dating dry spell.

Kathleen, who developed a phobia of singing in public when she was younger, was finally able to perform again in front of a crowd for the first time in ten years.

Steven, who worked for years editing films, is finally getting his chance to direct his first feature film (which has a three million dollar budget).

Rick has finally shaken off a severe financial setback that crushed him completely. After two years of chronic anger, shame and depression, he is now able to laugh and enjoy life again.

Trisha learned how to effectively manage her social anxiety, graduate from Columbia Law School with honors and secure a job working at the United Nations.

Max was able to overcome his crippling shyness and ace his interviews for the PhD program at Pepperdine University where he is currently working on his doctorate in psychology.

Justin’s company, Lux Naturals (which makes homemade soaps, lotion and candles), is currently Whole Food’s #1 top-selling bath and body company for the North East region. They are slated to expand nationally in 2012.

Lisa quit her job as a Zumba instructor to pursue her dream of opening a cupcake business.

Suzette was able to taper off her Zoloft (under her doctor’s supervision) after three years of being dependent on the medication.

Len, a senior level corporate executive, is now able to sleep through the night for the first time in years without relying on sleep aids.

Eddie won his ex-girlfriend back after making every mistake possible before reading my book.

Greg was able to reduce his facial tics by about 90% and discontinue the medicine (under his doctor’s supervision) he was using to keep them under control.

Ruben’s small business has almost doubled its profits this year. Ruben has also fulfilled his dream of writing, filming and starring in a short film which was accepted into four film festivals.

Sam finally began his first romantic relationship at the age of 25.

Carlos, a filmmaker, was able to overcome his challenges with public speaking and speak about his work confidently, both in front of a large audience and while being interviewed on one of the largest radio stations in South America.

And lastly, Rachel was able to taper off her Prozac (under her doctor’s supervision) after being dependent on the medication for over 10 years.

Once again, I’d like to express how wonderful it’s been to have coached these amazing individuals. I want to thank them for helping prove that my coaching methods flat out get results and, more importantly, for inspiring YOU to step up to the plate.

-Jay

P.S. If you haven’t requested your free coaching session, than shoot me an e-mail and we’ll get you set up. I’d love for you to be my next success story.

I know lots of young guys in their 20’s and 30’s who resort to popping dangerous erectile drugs to avoid possible embarrassment. What they don’t realize is that it’s unrealistic to expect yourself to perform on cue every single time since there are many reasons for not being able to maintain an erection (few of them physical). But instead of focusing on the various nuances of the problem, let’s talk solutions.

By the way, this isn’t something that only men are concerned about. Women are also affected by various forms of sexual anxiety. Most are plagued with thoughts such as “will my body turn him on” and “what if he gets grossed out by my cellulite” as well as the standard pregnancy issues. For the ladies who’re concerned about making a great impression (and having as much fun as possible) in the bedroom, the following quick tips will also apply to you.

Tip 1: RELAX! – Stressing about your performance increases the chance that your equipment will fail you. Practicing meditation will train you to relax your body on command – a skill which comes in handy in the bedroom. One simple way to reduce your anxiety is to focus on making your breathing slower and deeper.

Tip 2: Stay present – Instead of worrying about whether your partner is enjoying themselves, make sure that YOU’RE having fun. Stay focused on what’s happening in the moment and really allowing yourself to enjoy the sensations. For instance, if you’re playing with a woman’s hair then you need to put all your attention on it and nothing else. Feel how soft her hair is… enjoy the way it smells, etc. It helps to mentally say things like “Wow. Her hair is so amazing. Other guys would kill to be where I am right now.” Remember to keep your focus on whatever is feeling good to you in the present moment.

Tip 3: Lay off the alcohol – For most guys, this is the bigger killer of erections. Some liquors have a more pronounced effect than others (whisky comes to mind). Alcohol can also help you relax, however, so it’s a double edged sword. The important thing is to understand how your body reacts to it and stay well within the green zone (for some people, this means stopping after 1 glass of wine).

Tip 4: Plan for the worst case scenario – For most guys, the worst case scenario is that they can’t stay up and their partner is going to think less of them. Here’s the thing… your girl’s reaction will be highly influenced by your attitude about the situation. In other words, if you act all distraught then she’ll probably feel the same way.

So when, be prepared to make light of the situation (act like it’s no big deal). Here are a few lines you can use in a pinch:

a) Laugh it off/make a joke: “Whoops. I guess he’s tired today. It probably wasn’t the best idea to drink half a bottle of Patron for breakfast.”

b) Blame it on stress: “I’ve been really stressed all day from work. Let’s just relax for a bit and start up again later.”

c) If it’s the first time with the girl, show a little vulnerability: “You know, I have to admit that I’m little nervous tonight. Can you do me a favor and stop being so sexy?” (most girls will eat this up since they might be thinking you’re not attracted enough)

Tip 5: Get checked out – While the problem is usually a mental issue, lots of guys nowadays are experiencing lowered levels of testosterone due to a wide variety of reasons. A simple blood test will alert you to any possible hormonal problem that should be addressed.

Two quick notes for the ladies:

The more turned on you are in the bedroom, the more turned on your man will get and the more he will enjoy himself. Guys love to feel like they are doing “a good job” and if you are getting really into it, then he will take credit for your pleasure and get even more into it. But if you look like you’re not enjoying yourself then he’ll probably start thinking “uh oh… what am I doing wrong” which will increase his anxiety and yank him out of the moment.

Also, if your partner is experiencing performance issues then act as if it’s no big deal and focus on some other part of the sexual experience. 70% of the time he is just nervous so when you reassure him that everything is fine and you’re not disappointed then he’ll usually be able to snap out of the mindset that caused the problem in the first place.

The advanced techniques I share with my private coaching clients are a bit too extreme to reveal here but if you put the above tips into action you’ll probably be good to go. Give them a shot and let me know how you fare.

-Jay

Today I’d like to share with you one of my favorite techniques for battling stress and negativity. I learned this technique many years ago from one of my mentors, Mark Cunningham, and have found it to be an invaluable tool for changing negative thinking patterns. You can use this simple exercise to train yourself to become a more positive (and happy) person.

Before I teach it to you, let me say this… if you just use it once or twice, it won’t have much of an effect. If you want to see powerful, permanent changes in the way that you think and feel then you must use it as much as possible. Consider it part of your long-term strategy for mental well-being.

One more thing… it’s definitely a bit weird. I’m going to be asking you to make images your mind while physically reaching out in front of you to do silly things with your hands. Strange, I know, but just go with it. This weird little technique can change your life.

So here are the steps of The Stop Sign Technique:

1. Anytime you find yourself dwelling over a perceived negative experience, begin to pay attention to the scene in your mind’s eye. Imagine that you are watching a movie that you can freeze by hitting the “pause” button on your remote control. After you’ve frozen the picture, visualize in your mind’s eye a stop sign popping up in front of it.
2. Now reach out with your physical hands and turn up the brightness on the picture (imagine there is a knob underneath the mental screen that you can manipulate with your hand) until it whites out completely and there is nothing left of the original image.
3. Place a golden frame around the picture (just imagine that is is appearing around the blank, white screen).
4. Write in golden marker the lesson you learned from the incident (you may have to stretch yourself to come up with a positive lesson but there is always something positive to be learned from every experience i.e. Burning your hand on the stove has taught you to be more careful when using the oven).
5. Physically reach out with both hands, grab the picture frame and place it (along with its contents) behind your head. Imagine that you can hear it being nailed into place behind you.
6. Place a new scene in the original spot (in front of you) that makes you feel good when you think about it (relaxing on the beach, etc). Watch the scene for about 10 seconds and be sure to feel the good feelings that result.

This simple exercise is designed the train your brain over time to always look for the silver lining in every situation and to easily let go of negative feelings and defeatist thinking. Yes, it’s incredibly silly but it works if you consistently apply it to your negative thought patterns. Go play around with it and let me know what you think.

Wishing you a happy and stress-free weekend.

-Jay

If you’re like me, more often than not, you find that your stress levels reach stratospheric proportions. At these times, it’s incredibly helpful to have a set of strategies you can use to calm the raging demons inside you. Today, I’ll be sharing a simple stress-reduction technique that can be used whenever you’re able to sit quietly for 30-60 seconds.

While most people are aware that our emotions influence our physiology, it’s less widely known that our physiology can influence our emotions. For instance, we all know that when we experience an event that makes us angry, our breathing patterns, body position and facial expressions start changing to varying degrees – we may find ourselves clenching our fists, furrowing our brows and breathing faster and sharper.

And by the same token, we can use certain body positions to generate emotions when we are feeling “emotionally neutral”. There’s a fascinating technique called “Alba Emoting” that teaches this more in-depth, but for now, I’m going you how to dissipate unwanted emotions but putting your body in a state of physical relaxation.

There are 4 steps to this exercise and once you’re doing all four at the same time, the body relaxes very quickly.

Step 1: Sit comfortably and do your best to release all tension in the body. If you have trouble doing this, tense your muscles for a few seconds and then release them so you can feel the difference between tension and relaxation. Make sure you let your shoulders drop and let the jaw hang slightly.

Step 2: Bring your attention to your breathing. Focus on breathing slower and deeper. Ideally, you should be breathing from the diaphragm but if that’s a bit tricky for you, just focus on taking slower inhalations and exhalations.

Step 3: Repeat the word “relax” over and over in your mind.

Step 4: In your mind’s eye, see yourself writing the word “relax” over and over on a blackboard. Repeat this sequence for at least 30 seconds or until you are calmer.

Bonus: To use this to fall asleep quickly, before starting the above steps, get into a comfortable position in bed and completely freeze your body in that position. Do your best to resist making even the slightest movement.

Now why does this work so well? First off, tension in the body tends to keep negative emotions going strong. So in step 1, we remove the tension by focusing on relaxing our muscles (breathing slower and deeper adds to this). Next, we repeat the word “relax” over and over which prevents us from continuing any negative self-talk in our minds that might be there (i.e. “I’m gonna kill this person!” or “This isn’t fair! Why does this always happen to me?”) and finally, when we are focusing on picturing the word “relax” it becomes impossible to visualize any negative images which may be driving the undesired emotion. Put all these steps together and you’ll find your mood shifting very quickly.

The more you practice this exercise, the more effective it become so play around with it a bit and let me know how it works for you.

Till next time,

-Jay

In this short clip, you’ll discover that sometimes what we think we’re hearing doesn’t match up to what’s being said. Take the simple test and see for yourself…