The Journey - Surviving and Thriving with Twins + Two.

2010 March for Babies

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 15:03:00 +0000

Every year, half a million babies in the U.S. are born prematurely. Premature birth is the leading cause of newborn death and many life long disabilities. Our family alone has had four premature babies; graduates of three different NICUs.

Look at their sweet faces:

Alaina, leaving the NICU (the greatest Valentine's Day gift of my LIFE, by the way).
Aaron and Brady, leaving the NICU:

Brett, leaving the NICU (in a car bed!):

As the mother of four premature babies, I am thankful every day. All four of our children can be counted among the many lucky ones who have had no serious long-term complications thanks to access to excellent medical facilities and treatment. But having spent so much time with four babies in three different NICUs, we met many families who had to endure so much more. We participate in the March for Babies every year to give thanks for our miracles and to support those families who were not as fortunate.

Please consider making a donation to the March of Dimes to help give all babies a chance to have a healthy start.

Brett's 15-Month Well Child Visit

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 23:50:00 +0000

Brett finally made it to his 15-month well-baby appointment. He was just a little late, he is still 16 months (although barely!) Anyway, he checked out just fine. We expect nothing less from our Brett.

He tipped the scales at just over 24 lbs which puts him right smack in the 50th percentile for his age. This puts things into perspective for us because I always see Brett as "big". But he's not; he's average. He just seems big to me because A&B are so tiny. At this appointment, Brett weighed noticeably more than the twins did at their 2-year check up. Brett is also in the 75th percentile for height. I'd love to share the circumference and percentile of his head (large, to hold his big brain!), but they stopped measuring that at one-year.

He passed his hearing test with flying colors. So, despite the E.I. recommendation to go for a full evaluation, we'll probably not do that at this time. The pediatrician also disagreed with the recommendation that he needs any services at all*. Which makes me happy to know that they think he is developing normally. He is just developing at his own pace.

*However, they also didn't refer Aaron and Brady to E.I. until they were two years old and by that time, they had a lot more ground to make up. So, we'll take the services for Brett now, while we can get them, and hopefully he won't need anything further down the road.

He received his 3-shots like a trooper and received his first lollipop for his efforts. Apparently he loved it as evidenced by the screaming that ensued when Brian tried to take it temporarily away from him to get him into the car seat to go home.

All in all, a very well child.

Books 8 and 9

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 15:04:00 +0000

Reading, reading, reading. STILL working on "War and Peace". I have finally reached 50% according to the Kindle. It's all downhill from here! In the mean time I have finished two books I first heard about on NPR.

8. "American Nerd: The Story of My People", by Benjamin Nugent. I thought I knew a lot of "nerds" but, according to the definitions of nerd as presented in this book, I guess I do not. There was a lot of focus on fantasy, science fiction and gaming lifestyles that just didn't grab my attention. As a result, I found myself skimming entire sections of the book. It wasn't all bad though. There were some interesting points such as the history of the term "nerd" and an interesting correlation between "nerds" and people with Aspergers Syndrome. To me, the best parts of the book came when the author gave us an in-depth look at his childhood nerd friends. Those parts were a subtle reminder to cut someone who is a little "different" some slack, because you have no idea what's going on in their lives to make them act that way. I don't think I'd recommend this book, but I don't regret reading it either.

9. "An Elegy for Easterly: Stories", by Petina Gappah is a collection of short stories set in Zimbabwe under Robert Mugabe's regime. Admittedly, I didn't know much about day-to-day life in Zimbabwe and couldn't really even conjure up an image. But the fictional characters in these stories put a face on a country I didn't know much about. It was beautifully written: touching in places, humorous in others. My main complaint about this book is that I wish it was longer.

I am picking up "Asterios Polyp" by David Mazzucchelli from the library tomorrow and then I'm moving on to "Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society" which has been recommended to me by four people in the last three weeks.

And I will keep pushing through "War and Peace" because, dammit, I WILL finish that book.

Katrina Relief 2010

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 20:37:00 +0000

In just two short weeks, Uncle Paul and Aunt Liz are heading back to New Orleans for the 5th annual Katrina Relief Spring Break trip. This time they will be leading over 100 Boston-area students. In past years, their teams have gutted homes, helped construct new homes, and restored city parks and recreation facilities for children. Along the way, the over 200 students they’ve led have had unforgettable and life-changing experiences. Please read below for a more in-depth description of this year’s trip.

If you would like to make a tax-deductible donation to this project, you can simply click here. Any donation of any size will be greatly appreciated and help enable us to continue leading more and more students into the life-changing experience of renewing a great American city.

Thanks so much for your consideration!

*** More about the Katrina Relief Urban Plunge (KRUP)***
The recovery process in New Orleans continues to be slow after Hurricane Katrina put 81 percent of the city underwater, caused 1,800 deaths in the region, and left behind $75 billion in destruction. InterVarsity in New England has brought over 1,500 students to aid in the recovery process over the past four spring breaks.

This year, Liz and I will lead a team of 102 students from Boston University and Mass. College of Pharmacy from March 5-14. Then I’ll be returning to New Orleans one week later to lead another team of 150+ students from all across New England. Students on our teams will serve in a variety of ways—they’ll do home construction with Habitat for Humanity, help re-paint a high school that has just recently re-opened and take part in after-school sports camps and tutoring programs for children. Our teams will also take time to tour and learn about New Orleans, from the historic French Quarter to the poorest neighborhoods where Katrina recovery has been slowest.

We strive to make these trips a holistic experience, pushing our bodies through hard work, as well as our minds and souls by engaging with the situation in New Orleans on all levels. Most evenings we will have local guest speakers and discussions to explore the complexity of the issues that Katrina raised, such as race, poverty, power and justice. We will also explore themes such as suffering, compassion and hope. Though we use the Bible as a lens to open discussions, we have always had very diverse teams of students from varying spiritual backgrounds, all of whom appreciate the time spent away from the demands of school to explore larger questions about the world and their purpose in life.

In all these trips are a win-win; the work our teams do literally changes the lives and fortunes of New Orleans residents who without outside assistance would have no way to come home, or would be further delayed in doing so. And in the process, students’ lives are changed for the better to the point where they usually come away feeling that they received more than they gave.

Leading this trip is often a chaotic experience between managing details, fostering healthy team dynamics, partnering well with host organizations, and providing oversight from the pragmatic to the spiritual. And this year, going back and forth to lead two weeks of this adventure feels especially crazy for me! But we count it a privilege to be part of renewing a truly unique and special American city and to foster a formative experience that students will remember for the rest of their lives. We’d love to tell more about this trip if you are interested or have any questions!

Early Intervention: Brett's Turn

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 23:33:00 +0000

One of the nice parts about having the Early Intervention team come to the house to work with Aaron and Brady is that they are also able to observe Brett in passing. Around Christmas, they asked how old he was. While acknowledging that he is "still little", they mentioned he should be evaluated for services.

We agreed. Because while Brett is a very happy, very social, very active child, and while he is happy to sing and babble along, at 14 months, he still had no actual words. Due to the holidays, it took several weeks to set up his evaluation but he finally did get it the week he turned 15 months.

He did exactly as we expected. He was ahead in fine and gross motor skills, social/emotional development, self-care and cognition. But he was about 4 months behind in his expressive language. And he was slightly more behind in his receptive language, prompting the recommendation to see an audiologist for his hearing. We will follow up with the pediatrician at his next well-baby check up (early next week, a little delayed due to all the colds he's had this season).

Presumably the child is simply unclear as to what is an actual word and what is just complete and utter noise in our house! It also cannot help that the two siblings he spends the most time with have speech issues of their own. Top it off with an almost complete lack of one-on-one attention from his parental figures (we do our best but this is a FAIL for us) and... he's probably just confused.

Some extra one-on-one time combined with play group with kids his own age, and I think this kid will be back on track in no time. And hopefully catching it earlier than we did with A&B will eliminate that phase of horrific anger and frustration that they went through.

Go Brett!

Books 5, 6, and 7

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:09:00 +0000

Plugging along on the Reading Resolution for 2010. I have managed to check another off The List, finish one of NPRs recommended list from 2009, and whip through the latest from one of my favorite writers.

5. "Count of Monte Cristo", by Alexandre Dumas
I don't always love the Classics I read on the list, but I do appreciate (almost) all of them in their own way. I did really enjoy "The Count of Monte Cristo", though. I'm glad I didn't let my viewing of the movie with Guy Pearce of a few years back deter me. I flew through this book because I really couldn't wait to find out what was going to happen next.

6. "A Reliable Wife", by Robert Gooolrick
I first heard about this book on the NPR web site while perusing their recommended reads from 2009. This fell into the "Good for Book Clubs" category. I have to say, despite the raves this book is getting...I did not love it. I liked the idea of it. I liked the concept of the story. What I did not like was the style of writing. I found myself in the first third of the book saying to myself "Alright, I get it. He got around and loves women. MOVE ON." But , no. We had to keep. On. Hearing. About. It. And, I'm no prude, but it got to be too much. I will say that as the book went on, I enjoyed it more. And I was left satisfied with the ending which, for me, is saying a lot.

7. "Outliers", by Malcolm Gladwell
After loving "Blink" and "The Tipping Point", I had high hopes for "Outliers" and I was not disappointed. This book tackles the question "why do some people succeed far more than others?" As usual when reading a Gladwell book I found myself saying "a-ha!" quite a bit. It's definitely not a read for everyone but if you are a non-fiction reader and have any interest in cultural/social themes, definitely read this.

At the moment I am reading "War and Peace" (which I hope to finish by summer!) and I am picking up "American Nerd: The Story of My People" by Benjamin Nugent from the library today. Stay tuned!

Happy Birthday, Alaina!

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:27:00 +0000

Dear Alaina,

Today you turn five years old.

Five.

You are no longer a baby. No longer a toddler. It six short months, you won't even be a pre-schooler any more. You are growing up fast.
This year has been full of change for you in so many wonderful ways. We moved into our house and you moved into your Princess Room. You insisted you didn't want your own room. But as the year went on, you've been spending more and more time in there getting lost in your imagination. Playing doll house, creating works of art and reading. Hours upon hours of reading.

You went to swimming class and got into the pool without a parent. You were so proud of yourself when you were able to swim the length of the pool that last class. I was proud too.

You tried soccer for the first time. That wasn't one of your favorites, but it's hard when you're a 4-year old girl playing for the first time with 5-year old boys. But you tried and that's what counts.
You also started dance this year. Tap and ballet. You had a profound insight when it came time to enroll you in class. You told me you wanted to go to a studio where you did NOT have any friends because you wanted to do your learning by yourself. Pretty smart for a 4 and half year old! You are doing exceptionally well in dance. You are the teacher's pet.

You also started full-day pre-kindergarten this year. You take a bus which you LOVE. You already knew a lot when you started school, so you may not think you're learning that much, but you are. Trust me. You have blossomed in this school. You are no longer just smart and creative. You also have confidence in your abilities, compassion for others who may need a little extra help, and you know how to put your spare time to good use. You may not see the value in that now, but you will someday.

This year you saw your first theatrical production ("Beauty & the Beast"), your first musical ("Annie"), your first college sports event (UMass men's basketball). You had your first overnight at a friend's house.
This year you've been really trying to talk and work through your feelings, rather than just expressing through tears and tantrums. And you're surprisingly articulate for your age. The thoughts you are able to express baffle me.
I realize your patience is often tested with your three brothers and their constant noise and desire to annoy you. You are a wonderful big sister and do so much with and for them. It is so obvious how much they look up to you. Their little faces just light up when you pay attention to them.
I feel horribly that they command so much of Mommy and Daddy's attention but please know that this will get better with time. And no matter what, we hear you and see you and notice every little wonderful thing you do. Even when it seems like we are paying more attention to them.

I appreciate the turn that our Mommy-Daughter has taken this year. The conversations we have, the experiences we share. I am SO excited to do more and more "grown-up" things with you. I can't wait to plant our garden together this spring. I love how you are my biggest fan and I am yours. I hope it stays that way!

Sweet Alaina, Happy 5th Birthday. I love the little girl you have become. I can't wait to see what's next.

Love you always,
Mommy

[MORE Alaina: 4th birthday, 3rd birthday, Birth Story]

Random Cuteness

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Mon, 01 Feb 2010 18:18:00 +0000

- Aaron and Brady have a new favorite word: "aaaaahhhhh-wish-ish!".
Translation: delicious.

- Brett has mastered the stairs, up and down. He has also mastered the fine art of the frustrated foot stomp.
- Alaina went to her first UMass basketball game. After 15 seconds of play, she seemed to grasp the point of a game she's never watched before and proceeded to clap at all the right times. She cheered the team on, unfortunately to defeat, but loved it.

- Brady continues his love affair with the "pack-pack". He also loves his boots and hat indoors as well.
- Brady also pooped on the potty (on purpose) for the first time and Aaron went by accident. Either way, we're proud of both!

- The countdown is on to Alaina's 5th birthday this week. Stay tuned for our Big Girl's celebration(s)!

The Story.

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 18:00:00 +0000

We were featured this weekend in a little publication called The New York Times. If you haven't already seen the article, here it is: http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/24/fashion/24marriage.html

Taken for face value, the title says it all: "She Works. They're Happy." It's true and we are. That's why we chose to participate. We enjoy talking about our situation because, while it was scary to make the decision for me to "go" to work and for him to stay home, it was the best decision we ever made as a couple.

For the most part, the response has been warm. A lot of "good for you" and support for the fact that we seem to have struck the right balance for our family.

However, you can't make everyone happy. And there were plenty of people who weren't happy with the article. Or with how we have chosen to divide the labor in our house. Or with the reporter for choosing us. Or even with the fact that a reporter with a hyphenated last name was writing about marriage.

Yes.

Seriously.

Those of us who put ourselves "out there" online are used to the fact that there are a certain number of people who seem to enjoy putting others down via negative, judgmental, comments. And if we haven't fallen victim ourselves to these comments, we know a fellow blogger who has.

It's annoying and infuriating.

I have chosen not to respond to the comments on that site. And after much conversation, I convinced Brian to do the same. I have declined the reporter's offer to see about removing any particularly hurtful comments. I believe that replying or removing gives a certain level of weight to the opinions of people who, frankly, I will never see or encounter or want to be friends with. They have made up their minds after reading 5 paragraphs at the highest level of our lives. Nothing we can say is going to change what they think. So why bother?

But in defense of my husband - who bore the brunt of those negative comments - and to satisfy my need to vent on this topic, I will throw down the following thoughts:

It is not a "luxury" to be able to "lounge around" with with three little boys under the age of three. To those who think he has it "easy", I would say: you try spending the day with them. THEN, try taking them anywhere in public. Then, repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Did I mention they're potty training? And...repeat.
While technically I am the "primary" breadwinner, he is still keeping his real estate and consulting businesses going from the home while caring for the children.
As for equality of "house work", what the article didn't include was the fact that while I may do the "heavy" cleaning on the weekend, he is responsible for all home improvement projects and yard work. If you want to make a judgment on who does more work in this department, you'd need a lot more information than the three sentences devoted to it in this article.
When it is said that I take on the bulk of the childcare on weekends, it is not because Brian has run off and left me alone. It is because I want to spend time with my children. Call me crazy, but I actually like being with them.
Last but certainly not least, for those who chose to point out how irresponsible it is to even have four children in the first place, and especially to the person who seemed prepared to give us the benefit of the doubt with three children (two planned pregnancies with one resulting in twins) but implicity questioned the fourth child: I cannot type the words I want to say to you on a blog I hope my children will someday read.

The bonus of participating is that everyone did seem to love our family photo and it was the work of our favorite family photographer!

We will continue to share our story with others. They can choose to listen or not. But the fact is, I don't judge other people's situations so I ask them to simply respect mine. If it wouldn't work for them, then they don't have to do it. But please, don't make me feel badly about doing what I feel is right for my family.

Book #4: Everything Matters! by Ron Currie, Jr.

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 17:39:00 +0000

One of my resolutions for 2010 is to read more than I did last year. I'd like to finish one book per week this year to achieve that. And, to hold myself accountable, I plan to keep a detailed record here on the blog.

So far, so good for 2010. As of 1/20/10 I've completed:

"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett (I would recommend)
"The Other Queen" by Philippa Gregory, to finish off her series on the Tudors. If you've read the others in the series, finish off with this one. As a standalone novel, though, I'd say pass.
"Do Men Mother?" by Andrea Doucet which will get a series of posts all to itself (I have THAT much to say about it)
"Everything Matters!" by Ron Currie, Jr. That's what we're talking about today.

I added this to my "to read" list after LauraC posted about it on her blog. It took me a while to get to it but I'm SO glad I did. This is not the first time Laura has pointed me in a good direction, so, thanks!

Anyway, the basic plot - which will sounds asinine when I give you the quick and dirty version - is that Junior is born with the knowledge of exactly how and when the earth is going to meet it's ultimate demise: June 15th, 2010, when he is 36 years old. He wonders What Does It All Matter? What does anything matter? If you know there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Clearly the title gives away the answer.

But how the answer reveals itself to Junior makes for a great story. The plot twists are a little crazy at times and if I attempt to describe any of them you will shake your head and say "that sounds ridiculous" so I'll spare you my synopsis. But the writing is beautiful and the characters are sympathetic and flawed making them, in my mind anyway, real.

I went into reading this looking for inspiration and I found it. It's not about religion or profound political views (although, there is a reference to President Huckabee delivering the news to the nation about the Apocalypse which I found humorous!).

It's about making changes within yourself to make each day, each hour, each moment meaningful. Because ultimately they will all add up to one life. And in the end, regardless of how long you are here, will you be able to say that your life mattered?

I hope I will.

Number One? Check.

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:17:00 +0000

Over the summer we introduced the idea of the potty to the boys. They were interested at the time. And it was great fun having the potty outside. Hurray for freedom, right?

Turns out, as parents we weren't really ready to commit to the whole potty thing, indoors. For a variety of reasons (mostly boiling down to a real lack of interest on our part), we didn't pursue the training as the weather cooled.

Aaron was fine with that. Brady, however, had this potty thing in his head and said more than a little sporadically "I pee-pee potty." Actually, if you know Brady and his loud, raspy voice, it's not a request. It's a demand "I PEE PEE POTTY". Hard to ignore. So, if he asked, we would take him, and he would go. (Really go.) But we didn't offer it up willingly.

We decided we would get serious about the potty once we got through the craziness of the holiday season. As Brady was the one who asked for the potty frequently, we figured we'd focus our energy on him and let Aaron follow along at his own pace. We bought pull-ups and away we went.

Day one, potty trip #1: Brady demands the potty, we take him, he does... nothing. Aaron wanders in behind him, and ... pees in the potty. And has been peeing in the potty ever since. I think it never occurred to him to ask for it but once he saw we were reacting to Brady, he got right in on that action.

As for Brady, I think "I PEE PEE POTTY" just happened to have been one of the few complete phrases he had at his disposal which produced a immediate parental response. So he used it. To get out of his room, to get out of his booster seat. Basically whenever he was frustrated in his current situation. It didn't necessarily mean he had to go.

So, we had one boy going on a regular basis and it was NOT the boy we had planned on. Until Daddy finally nailed the perfect reward system. M&M's? No. Sticker chart? No way. The reward they both respond to?

Being allowed to brush their teeth after using the potty.

We have the weirdest children.

But at least they are peeing in the potty.

The Hole.

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 19:23:00 +0000

In the playroom, off of our living room, we have a second fireplace.

Someday we'll have it cleaned and it will be a lovely, indoor grill. Until that time, it is a source of amusement for the children. They enjoy climbing in it. And they especially enjoy dropping things into the small opening in the back of the fireplace.

Here is the string of emails I received my husband today regarding said fireplace.

That hole in the porch fireplace has got to go. It is now a priority fix on my list and I hope I already have what I need to get the job done. I know you suggested I do it early and I told you it was no big deal as all the toys would drop to the basement. What I didn't realize is the pit in the basement has a dirt floor and is currently a muddy, swampy mess.

Here is what I found.

This is what it looked like after I dug them out by hand (35 minutes of nastiness)
They completely filled the sink
After scrubbing each one by hand here is the keeper pile
and the toss pile
Anything made of wood or anything with too many small nooks had to go. It's too bad as all of the trains had to get tossed in the trash. Those and Alaina's princess slipper were the only true losses that I remember. Oddly enough, not one single piece of the train track made it into the pit. Isn't that the strangest thing? Some of the bridges went but not one of the wooden sections.

Time for the keeper batch to go back in for a highly concentrated bleach soak (over an hour)
After a couple of hours of neglecting our children, we have the saved pile, all sparkly and new. Can you believe this is only half of what they threw down that hole? Crazy kids.
I feel gross. I am exhausted. Just one of those days. You decide to take on a small project, (like cleaning the oven the other night) and it snowballs into an epic battle.

I forgot to mention the best part. All three boys lined up at the gate screaming for their long lost toys the entire time I cleaned them. They hardly took breaks from the hysterical crying to breath. It was simply perfect!

I've Come To Realize

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 19:34:00 +0000

I borrowed today's post from one of my favorites, Binkies & Bandaids. (I "borrow" a lot of her ideas, actually. We seem to be on the same page a lot!)

I’ve come to realize that my job. . .is not just a job anymore. It's something I care about and want to stick with for a while.

I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . I swear freely and often. For a woman who almost never says a bad word, that's something.

I’ve come to realize that I need. . .compliments. I'm either very vain or very insecure.

I’ve come to realize that I have lost. . .too many friends due to distance, lack of effort, time constraints, etc.

I’ve come to realize that I hate it when. . . Plans change suddenly.

I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk. . .I'm talking too much.

I’ve come to realize that money… is more important than I would like it to be.

I’ve come to realize that certain people. . .will never, ever be satisfied.

I’ve come to realize that I’ll always. . . paranoid of sleeping in the house alone.

I’ve come to realize that my sibling(s). . . has excellent taste in music.

I’ve come to realize that my mom…is really my best friend.

I’ve come to realize that my cell phone. . .is like my right hand.

I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning. . .the days of deciding "just 10 more minutes" are looooong gone.

I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep. . .I've started saying my prayers before going to sleep again.

I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking. . .I sure wish these answers were more witty.

I’ve come to realize that my dad. . . is hysterical.

I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook. ..I simultaneously love my current life and long for the past.

I’ve come to realize that today. . . I've spent most of my day fixing someone else's mistake.

I’ve come to realize that tonight. . . . I’m going grocery shopping. So exciting.

I’ve come to realize that tomorrow. . . I need to wake up in a better mood.

I’ve come to realize that I really want to. . . ..go somewhere warm.

I’ve come to realize that the person mostly likely to repost this is. . . I don't know that anyone who would re-post this still reads here, I've been dark for so long!

I’ve come to realize that life. . . is what you make of it. You are not entitled to anything, you have to work for what you have.

I’ve come to realize that this weekend. . . I am going to see some friends I haven't seen in YEARS.

I’ve come to realize that my friends. . .have been incredibly supportive and patient through all my childbearing years!

I’ve come to realize that this year. . .is going to be a turning point for us (in a good way!).

I’ve come to realize that my husband. . . is in need of -- and deserving of -- a lot more "guy" time.

I’ve come to realize that maybe I should. . . follow through on some of my wonderful ideas once in a while.

I’ve come to realize that I love. . . Starbucks like no other coffee.

I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand. . . why more people do not possess an "inside voice".

I’ve come to realize my past. . . is the reason for the present.

I’ve come to realize that parties. . .are only as fun as you make them.

I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified. . .to look down and see a snake.

I’ve come to realize that my life. . .is a journey worth taking.

Resolutions 2010

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 16:07:00 +0000

Do I even dare?

I skipped this last year, but now I wish I had made some. It would be nice to be able to say "Yes! Did that!" or at least have something to work on going forward. So, here we go:

1) Spend more one-on-one time with each of the children.

2) Barring serious injury or illness. I WILL do that Hartford half-marathon I had resolved to do in 2008. Except that I ended up giving birth to Brett that exact weekend.

3) Increase the number of books read for the year. 2009 was 42. Let's see how many I can get for 2010. To hold myself accountable, I'll probably list them here as a reminder to keep going. Feel free to send suggestions although my "to read" list is currently at around 165 books so...that'll keep me going for a while.

4) Grow our March for Babies contribution by either bringing on more team members or raising more money.

5) Continue going to yoga weekly.

6) Get back to blogging. It's a good outlet and is so nice to look back on after time passes.

7) Make sure we are formally settled in a church once and for all before Alaina enters Kindergarten in the fall. There is a lot more I could say about this one - and probably will over time - but "getting settled" is the bottom line.

I think that's enough. There is more I'd like to accomplish but let's be realistic here. Bottom line: if I focus on being well and doing good overall, it should be a good year.

What are your resolutions?

Decade(s) in Review

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 14:24:00 +0000

I’m embarrassed to say that it just occurred to me this week that we are at the end of another decade.

Where is the time going?

Anyway, as I started to reflect on this decade I realized how neatly my life can be defined by this decade and the ones before. I was born in 1975 (yup, there it is) so the 70’s for me were basically “early childhood”. I entered 1980 as a Kindergarten student and I left the 80’s as a freshman in high school so…the 80’s were “school aged”.

Then there were the 90’s. This is the decade I would lovingly call “Trial and Error”. In 1990, I was a high school freshman. I said good-bye to the 90’s by spending the Millenium New Year’s Eve with my new boyfriend of just a few weeks: the man who would become my husband. In between there were my formative high school years and my college years. My first car. My first job. My first apartment. My first love(s). My first real losses. A lot of lessons were learned in this decade, setting me up for the next:

The “Finding What Really Matters” decade. As I mentioned, I rang in the millenium with the man who would become my husband. After 15 months of dating, I moved in with him. Then I accepted his proposal. Then I became his wife.

I had a baby. I had two more babies. Then, surprise!, I had one more. I navigated my way through three different NICUs. I muddled through post-partum depression twice.

I lost my Grandmother.

I moved back and forth from CT to MA to CT to MA, covering 6 different zip codes in the process. We bought 5 houses and sold four of them.

We went through a big financial…er…awakening period. After changing jobs three times in the 2000’s, I finally found what I was looking for and officially became the work-out-of-the-home parent. Brian started his own business out of our home and became the full-time caretaker of the children.

Clearly that is the very abridged version.

I began this decade as a single, young woman, struggling to make ends meet in my first job out of college. I am ending this decade as a married, working mother of four. There are two minivans parked in front of the house where we plan to spend the next several decades. I am finally making comfortable in my own skin. It feels like all the chaos and commotion and change that I went through this most recent decade was to get to this place of finally feeling settled.

What will the next decade hold? Who knows. But I’m ready for anything.

2009: A Look Back in Photos

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 16:13:00 +0000

JANUARY:

FEBRUARY:
Alaina turned 4!
Mommy and Daddy went to Florida...
Where Daddy forced this guy to take a picture with Mommy....
MARCH:
We got outside when we could APRIL:
Easter was fun...
And we Marched for Babies...
MAY:
We spent Mother's Day playing outside
And Alaina started swimming lessons...
JUNE:
We moved!

JULY:
Aaron and Brady turned 2!AUGUST:
We really enjoyed the backyard
And this guy started walking!
SEPTEMBER:
A big month for Alaina. She started school...
She started dance... And she started soccer...
OCTOBER:
Brett turned one!NOVEMBER:
Thanksgiving was awesome
DECEMBER:

2009: A Great Year!

2009: Questions and Answers

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 02:30:00 +0000

If you decide to play along, leave me a comment and let me know!
(I did this last year too....)

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
Put my child on the school bus. Painful...

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn't even bother to make resolutions last year! I will be making some for this year, though, so we'll see how that goes.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
For the first time in years, I didn't! But probably the person closest to me who did give birth is my friend (and one of maids-of-honor), Elissa.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Thankfully, no.

5. What countries did you visit?
None. But I did go to Florida for the first time in my life

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
Just one more hour in the day. And money.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I'm not sure. This was a good year overall.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Promotion at work

9. What was your biggest failure?
I really, really need to work on my tone of voice at home at the end of the day. With everyone. And, a repeat from last year: my savings account balance.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Postpartum depression. Hence the drop off in blogging. I just didn't feel like putting myself out there while I was going through it.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Our house - woohoo!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Alaina. That girl has really been a tremendous help. And she's four - she doesn't need to be.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
It varied. But mostly it was a good year in this department.

14. Where did most of your money go?
The house. So much money going into the house. And it will continue to go there but it's all worth it.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Let's see: the house! The promotion! Brian's handy work on the house (finishing off our porch and making it a real room, renovating the "pink" bathroom, recessed lighting in the living room, and on and on)! Florida trip! Taking every Wednesday off this past summer!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Although I don't normally like her, the Pink songs from her latest CD will remind me of this year. Especially "Sober" and "Don't Leave Me"

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Happier.
b) thinner or fatter? Much thinner (30 lbs!)
c) richer or poorer? I wouldn't say richer. But we are a little more settled financially.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
There isn't much. This year I really did take time to do things that made me happy.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Complaining.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
We stayed home and had a small dinner with family. It is so nice to just stay put on that day and watch the kids just enjoy.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
No. But I stayed in love.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
Oh, so many new loves in 2009 (even without a TV in the house, thanks Hulu!) Glee, The League, Modern Family. And old favorites The Office, Parks and Recreation, and 30 Rock.

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Hate is a very strong word. I do not think there is anyone I could say that I hate.

24. What was the best book you read?
I did a lot of reading this year. I read 42 books. I wanted to read a book per week but since I read the "Lord of the Rings" and "Gone With the Wind", my progress was slowed slightly while I plowed through those two epics. I made some good progress on the list. But my favorites for 2009? "Olive Kitteredge", "The Historian", and "The Tortilla Curtain", among many others.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ok, what's the deal with Lady Gaga?

26. What did you want and get?
Our new house!!! And my promotion.

27. What did you want and not get?
A finished basement in the new house. But that's in the works.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
I was sadly deprived of films this year. I did like "Seven Pounds" (I think. if memory serves) and the latest Harry Potter. "The Hangover" was okay but I preferred "I Love You Man".

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Oh, the plans I had this year! We were supposed to go to Homecoming weekend at Sacred Heart. But with three sick kids and being sick myself, I spent the whole weekend at home. Brian got me sushi and a bottle of wine. I was 27 again.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I could have kept up the four day work-week all year long, not just in the summer months. That was pretty awesome.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
Well...30 lbs down from last year, I'm getting back into more fitting clothing which is awesome. I am trying to find the balance of trendy/fashionable styles and being age-appropriate for a 27+ year old, Mom of Four. I'm getting there, I think.

32. What kept you sane?
Wine.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I really just don't know.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I don't really want to discuss specific political things here. But health care reform has my attention.

35. Who did you miss?
Still my Grandma.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Matt Lauer! Although, I've never seen him since....

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
"You Reap What You Sow." Seriously.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
"My life would suck, without you."
Dedicated to my husband and my children.

Do you have any more questions you would like to know the answer to? Either ask in the comments section or send me an e-mail if you're too bashful. Ask ANYTHING. Really.

Happy New Year!

Happy Holidays, 2009!

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 30 Dec 2009 01:31:00 +0000

Happy Holidays!
(photo courtesy of Heather Katsoulis Photography)
We had a busy one this year!

First we started with my Grandfather's 85th birthday party/Holiday Gathering for my Mom's family where Alaina had fun helping with the cake...
And Aaron had so much fun he just couldn't go on...
Then, we attempted to make a gingerbread house for Christmas Eve. That didn't work so we had gingerbread cookies instead...
Later in the afternoon Alaina and I went to Mass while the boys napped at home with Daddy. Because she was so adorable, she was recruited to carry the Baby Jesus down the aisle and place him in the manger. Because Baby Jesus was about 20 lbs of porcelain from Italy, I actually carried him down while Alaina walked beside me. Sometimes it does pay off to change your outfit 20 times before leaving the house. Did I mention this Mass was televised on Christmas morning?

We then went to Memere and Pepere's house to have dinner and celebrate Uncle Paul's birthday (photos to be inserted here later when I get them from my parents; I forgot my camera that night!)

That night we set out the stockings that Memere and Auntie Kathy made on the rocking chairs that my Grandfather made...
And left one of the special gingerbread-house cookies out for Santa. We also left out enough apples for the reindeer because Mommy forgot to buy carrots for them.
Alaina wrote a message to Santa on his plate that said: "Dear Santa, I like the presents you get to me. Thank you. Love, Alaina." For the record, I only had to spell "presents" for her, she did the rest herself.

The next morning, Alaina woke up promptly at 7:15 and ran into the living room. She then burst into our room shouting "THERE ARE A MILLION PRESENTS" and was gone again. Before I could even stumble to the living room to take a photo of the tree, she had re-arranged all the gifts into two piles: her pile, and everyone else's pile.

Chaos ensued for the next hour.
Although no one wanted to let Brett play with his new presents...
Breakfast was served and then more chaos when Memere and Pepere showed up.

Thankfully after all the excitement, the boys took a nap at their regular time and the adults enjoyed a calm, peaceful meal.

Then they woke up and more chaos. More chaos, but still not so many pants...
We finished the weekend at Gammy and Pop's house on the 26th with more regular napping (hurrah!) and, a little bit of chaos.
But mostly we had well-tempered kids considering all the sugar and activity surrounding the holidays.
There was just one who was a little extra tired...
If this year is any indication of what's in store for future holidays, I say Bring on Christmas 2010!

Daddy's Little Helper

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 01:26:00 +0000

It's rare for the kids to get one on one time with their dad. But on the first big snow storm of the season, Brady got his special alone time when he helped Daddy to shovel the driveway.

The Tree

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 01:24:00 +0000

The tree is up!

It's not the best looking tree we've ever had. We could only decorate the top half. But, at least it doesn't have a baby fence around it so, let's hear it for small victories!

Thankful

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 02:29:00 +0000

2009 was a great year. Here's what I'm most thankful for today...

Brett's First Birthday Party!

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 01:14:00 +0000

(This post has been back-dated)

Good Night.

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:02:00 +0000

Going through some photos from the summer, it occurred to me that Brett is not my only child with sleep issues.

Alaina has taken to full-time sleep walking. When we hear her door open at night, we have to run and grab her because she usually has to pee. And she usually has trouble locating the correct place to do that.

And then there's this guy. Behold...Brady:

Exhibit A - Wishing Aaron was still taking a nap and laying across both beds.

Exhibit B - Yes, that is their train table. It was moved out of their room and into the play room the following day.

1-Year Well Baby Check...And Flu Vaccine

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 00:07:00 +0000

This morning I packed up Brett and took him out in the pouring rain for his 1-year well-baby check up. Brian planned to wait 15 minutes and follow behind with Aaron and Brady for their flu vaccinations.

Sounds like a fun morning, right?

Brett didn’t eat much for breakfast and he fell asleep in the car on the way there so I didn’t hold out high hopes for his temperament. I guess I forgot, for a moment, which child I was dealing with.

Here are his 1-year stats:
Height: 30.5 inches, 75^th percentile
Weight: 22 lbs 8.5 oz, 50^th percentile
Head Circumference: 49.5 cm, 95^th percentile*

*This is why standard t-shirts do not fit easily over his head.

He had his eyes examined and cooperated entirely. His vision appears to be 20/20. Perfect. His development is right on track or slightly advanced for his age.

As we were finishing up his exam, Aaron and Brady arrived with Brian. Brady was psyched: he walked in holding his brand new dinosaur and, as luck would have it, we were in the Dinosaur exam room at the pediatrician's. He roared his way around the room. Aaron, on the other hand, took one look at the room and said “uh, no. Home?"

I can see how this is going to go.

We discussed how Brett was due for his Chicken Pox vaccination but that the flu vaccine took precedence at this visit. So, he’ll have to come back in two weeks for the Chicken Pox shot. However, we were informed that the office did not yet have the H1N1 vaccine for his age group. They did have a few doses of the season flu vaccine for his age so he could receive that. And for Aaron and Brady, they ONLY had H1N1 vaccine, not seasonal flu. Huh. Okay….

Brady climbed up on Brian’s lap and happily took his lollipop. As he was smiling, the nurse administered his nasal dose of H1N1 vaccine. He climbed happily down and Brian asked Aaron if he would like a lollipop. He told us, very definitely, “No.” But my boy cannot resist a treat and was on Brian’s lap after being asked one more time. He tried to swat the nurse away but, ultimately, received his dose with little fanfare.

Brett was next. Because of his age, he’d be getting the regular seasonal flu via injection. The nurse stuck the needle in his arm and I held my breath and closed my eyes. And then she was done. The kid didn’t even flinch.

Amazing.

Happy 1st Birthday, Brett!

cynthiawalder@gmail.com (Cynthia) — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 22:40:00 +0000

Dear Brett,

Oh Lord, where did this year go? I know mothers say all the time that "it goes by in the blink of an eye." And now I know what they mean. I still can't wrap my brain around the fact that you are not a newborn. Or, at the very least, an infant I can throw into my Moby and hold close to me all day long. You are One Year Old today.

Somewhere along the way in this last year, our blog-friend LauraC labeled you as my Victory Baby. I had never heard this term before, but she pointed me over to Rookie Moms where I read this:

"I have suspected many of my friends and acquaintances of this. Whether they’re thinking “My next baby will be planned.” Or “Next time, I’ll breastfeed.” Or “I’ll choose drug free childbirth!” I assert that some new mamas are anxious to jump right back again on the baby bandwagon to correct whatever part of their first experience disappointed them."

She was right. You ARE my Victory Baby. In so many ways. I carried you longer than any of the others. I kissed you after you were born. I have a photo with you in the delivery room.
I held you for hours before any one else met you. Your birth was our victory. Which seems only right because you were indeed my most stressful pregnancy!

This past year you have been the best baby any parent could ask for. You never complain. You are hardly ever sick. You smile at and give love to everyone you meet. You simply go with the flow, wherever it may take you.
You have formed bonds with your siblings that no one can touch.
You adore Alaina. You are fascinated by Aaron and Brady. You are also a little scared of them. Probably rightly so at the moment!

You walked early. You got your teeth early. You are very stealth about these things; never drawing too much attention to yourself. Just going through the days being a great kid and shocking us with each new development.

Only in recent weeks have you started to assert yourself a little more. You have moved from toddling to slow walking to fast walking. You are ready for action. You throw yourself into the middle of the chaos with abandon. Your voice is as loud as the rest of them and we hear just as often.

Brett, you were the world's greatest surprise. A wonderful gift and a true Victory for me. I thank God every day for you. I hope that this next year brings you the same happiness this first year has. We all love you very, very much.

Love, Mommy