Usually in our day-to-day life we forget about our body, except for feeding it, cleaning it or going to the bathroom, and maybe doing some routine exercises. Thus outside those times and when our body aches or is in pain we tend to give little or no attention to it. It’s almost as if we’re disconnected from our body.

The reason I suggested dance music is two-fold: One, to reconnect with our body; and Two to release tensions – both loosening muscles and reducing anxiety – from it through our moving to the rhythm while allowing the inner feelings and emotions to be expressed via movement.

Sometimes, without realising it, we lock up “stress-producing” emotions, such as grief, sorrow, frustration or anger in our bodies. So this, quite literally, helps us to dance them out of our system.

Once we creatively move our body and shake it free from those tensions, limbering up a bit, and becoming aware of our body, and actively feel it, we can then take the next step of connecting with our partner’s body. Moving in unison with others expels isolation that we often place upon ourselves.
Slow down the pace of music and a gently gaze into each other’s eyes ( watch for one of the next articles: “How to Tune into Your Loved One”).

As you are still moving in unison, alternate who leads and who follows the dance, listening intently to your own body and your partner’s. Allow your hands to roam gently over the other person’s body, at this stage still fully clothed and avoid any contact with ‘private’ areas.

.

Time to move into the bathroom – your love spa with candles and lovely scents. Make it a delicious ritual of gentleness and kisses, rather than a perfunctory cleaning process.

For some of you lovely couples this is all rather difficult, especially to some of you men to keep the control and not make love right now at this stage! This actually is very important. You’ll find that the end result will be explosively ecstatic, beyond what would happen if you allowed the urge to take over!

I am now talking to the servant leader amongst my readers, and will reveal one little secret … just one for now … little techniques to get all the little nerve cells in her body to want to climb out of her skin with delight, and that is a massage. Not any old massage, though.

Let me give you a bit of background here from what I learnt from my instructor of a massage course I attended.
She was very strong on unconditional regard and respect for the person in front of her.

She would say to us students, “You have a very precious human being lying there in front of you. This human being has fears, anxieties, hurts, damages, maybe low self esteem, maybe was violated. When you lay hands on that precious person, know that you serve that person with unconditional love. Every inch of that body is yearning for love and acceptance; minister that in all humility and servant hood. Treasure that body with all its frailties and shortcomings as if it was the most precious jewel God gave you permission to minister to.”

I never forgot this lady instructor’s admonition, and now I will pass it on to you.

Forget your own urges. You are now the servant leader, the high priest, minister to your lady. Love and cherish that body, whether it is young or old, skinny or fat. Go slow, ‘listen’ with your hands, the Spirit of God will guide you to certain areas, stop and pour love in. Now, having said that, here comes a little twist when giving a massage with your hands.

It is very easy to let a male ego to get in the way and pride yourself as being ‘The Amazing One’ who gets his lady to feel good, and make her moan with enjoyment and all that. You can curb that by humbly being in the receiver mode yourself whilst at the same time being the servant leader ministering to your lady.

How? By learning to really relish the sensation of touching and touch in your own hands and fingers.

It’s like as if you were to very consciously slowly touch and stroke some velvet, fur, silk or other tactile materials. You fo not give pleasure to a piece of silk or velvet, you experience the sumptious delicious touch yourself. In the same way, whilst serving your lady, be very conscious of how good her skin feels, take it slowly and really feel her with total presence. The more you feel her with that level of presence, the more she will enjoy it – and so will you! (You might need to sensitize your hands and fingers to learn what sensuous touch feels like on different fabrics, especially if you are not used to this level of delicate touch).

Now, I suggest you do that massage in three stages: 1st dry, 2nd feather, and 3rd oil and follow the suggestions from a previous article on how to give a Relaxing Intimate Massage

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Live Life with Love and Passion!

Geli

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© Copyright A.R. (Geli) Heimann – Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Geli Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Notes or the main website www.JourneyOfIntimacy.com

Allow me to awaken your deep yearning desires – you may not even be aware of – and inspire you to dream about a non-rushed and exquisite form of lovemaking. Admittedly, it is quite an involved time of delight but it is so worth it all! It’s a most delicious dance of spirituality and lovemaking that each couple dances to their own unique rhythm reflecting their very own love relationship as well as their level of intimacy they have grown to.

Suffice it to say, this takes time, dedication, preparation, skill, knowledge, deep understanding of yourself and your partner in the Dance of Intimacy. It means slowing down from the hectic rat race of the day and work life. It means becoming still, reflective, honouring, respecting and cherishing, certainly at that moment in time.

Sadly, most people are not prepared for the Dance of Intimacy when they enter marriage. They know what sex is, it’s natural, anyone can do it (and so can animals). They may either have done it before marriage, they may have felt titillatingly naughty, some think nothing of it, afterall everyone around them does the same, or they feel ashamed or even damaged. Some couples may have waited till after the “I do”, only to find that it was such a disappointing let-down (especially for the woman), like an overrated activity where mainly the man gets pleasure. Sure, I am aware that this is a vast over generalization. There are plenty of couples who enjoy it increasingly so as the years go by. If this is you, consider yourself blessed, as you are in the minority!

As mentioned before, the rather common scenario is that both partners find they are so busy and so exhausted with so many things on their plate already with worries about bills, kids, with demanding or ageing/ailing parents / in-laws that the last thing on their mind is to make love. Usually bed is a place you crash and exhaustedly sleep after a gruelling day of work challenges (for both husband and wife), challenges with growing kids, etc. So, on top of it all, rather than snuggling in each other’s arms, bed time becomes discussion time over lack of finance and other worries.

When *it* does happen, it’s a rush job, resulting in the woman either being glad it’s over, or lying next to a snoring husband not even having had a chance to get aroused.

Certainly this is not what God had in mind when He created all the myriad of nerve cells, glands and feel-good hormones. All those pleasure zones are pretty irrelevant for procreation. God actually created us to experience pleasure contrary to popular opinion.

It was not the devil’s idea for people to have deliciously sensual pleasure. In fact, the devil never originated anything, rather, he is referred as the father of all lies, there is no truth in him and he is a thief to come to steal and destroy. All he can do is to steal what God had originally created and pervert it.

Isn’t it amazing that God created the female to have way more nerve endings both all over her body and especially in the genital area than males? Isn’t it also amazing that God created the masculine which is directive and purposeful to actually derive exponentially greater pleasure in servant leadership …. even in the bedroom?

Frankly, men have been deprived and conned out of greater pleasure by simply rushing through it all.

For now, let’s set the stage a little, in other words, preparation.

Why are preparation and the right ambience so powerful?

Unless you’re new in your marriage relationship and everything is oozing with passion that you can’t actually wait to get into the bedroom, and that the hallway, the kitchen, … is as good as anywhere …  a woman, in particularly needs some “warming up”.

Every person’s arousal is somewhere on a scale between purely body arousal and almost purely mental/mind arousal.

It would be well to get to know yourself and your spouse where each one of you has their natural preference point on that scale. Every person is uniquely different; nothing is better or worse, just like brown eyes are not better than blue eyes, just different.

Once you know your preferred default point on that scale, which by the way can vary according to various stressors in life and moods, you can then creatively work with it.

We often think we know our spouses very well, when we frequently don’t even know ourselves…

Typically, women tend to be more on the mind side of the scale mentioned above. You may have heard it said, that women’s sex organ is the brain; actually there is more truth to that than this jokey glib statement would allow for.
So, then, if this mind-factor is so important, then we should allow for it.

Let’s look at some specific Preparation

First of all, let’s think about your own personal Inner Chamber Delight area. Here are some practical ideas that are often overlooked.

Are there kids? If yes, you will need a lock on the door, even if they promise not to disturb. The slightest notion of potentially a kid accidentally bursting in through the doors will put especially the woman off abruptly, and then it takes a while again to build up her mental readiness.

Is the place soundproof? Yes, right now you maybe as quiet as a pair of mice that don’t want to attract a cat’s attention, but as you learn more how you can move to higher levels on your Dance of Intimacy, you will also learn to allow yourself full expression of breath and sound.

How is your bedroom? Is it a dumping ground, an emergency place to quickly let stuff and clutter vanish when guests arrive unexpectedly …. yet never got around to sort out the ‘emergency state’. Is there a pile of books, coffee-cups, laptop, etc. gathering dust next to your bed? Have you gotten into the habit of watching TV in bed rather than snuggling? Do you have the tendency to sort out your differences and conflict resolutions in bed, then falling asleep well away from touch with each other?

Is your bathroom the opposite of a mini spa … discarded clothes piled up together with towels, kids’ toys, a number of half-empty shampoo and shower bottles, etc.?

I think you get the drift: make your bedroom and bathroom a sanctuary of bliss. Conflict resolutions should not happen in the bedroom, rather reserve one distincly seperate ‘corner’ of your home for that, deal with the issues and then enter your bedroom in loving peace.

Whatever you do, make it ”illegal” to fight, argue and worry in bed. Your bed/bedroom is your sanctuary. It needs to be diligently prayed over, blessed, free from negative spiritual influences, and be made beautiful to your individual liking.

Add lovely and uplifting and especially peaceful art if you wish. If your art/pictures/paintings portray people, I suggest that you chose something like a happy in love couple or you two together, rather than a single person or a crowd of people. Why? Well, so that this image of happy, joyful togetherness and union nurtures and nourishes the deep parts of your soul.

Add some lovely flowers. I personally find there is nothing more beautiful inside a vase than a gorgeous bouquet of fresh flowers. However, I often resort to good quality tasteful silk flowers simply as they last longer, thus more economical in the long run. But certainly, if you can afford it, nurture yourself regularly with the delight of freshly cut flowers.

If you have some unsightly furniture in your bedroom which you really can’t get rid of, then become creative with tranquil colourful fabric drapes to create a calming ambience shutting out visual noise.

I also suggest music in your bedroom. Some happy uplifting dance music for the initial stages of your Inner Chamber time (I will explain later in part 2); and for the second stage on the bed, chose mellow, smooth instrumental music.

Last not least have some candles and essential oil burners. In another blog post I will deal with sensual oils, not just the medicinal oils, to deliciously perfume your love den, your Inner Chamber.

The keyword is not high octane, fast paced passion, but relaxing, calming tranquillity with a deep radiance of passion that fuses the two of you into one with God in the centre; a love and passion so still and yet so exuberant that every cell in your bodies tune into a heavenly symphony rather than one short sharp trumpet call …..

…… To be continued on Part 2 ……

Live life with Love and Passion,

Geli

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

We need 4 hugs a day for survival.
We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance.
We need 12 hugs a day for growth

—Virginia Satir, family therapist

I am a very huggy, touchy, sensual tactile person and love to put my hands and arms around anyone any

thing that moves or doesn’t move. My hands have a natural tendency to explore textur

es, hold

things, caress, tenderly stroke, massage, play with things … oh yes, I guess, not surprisingly, I have a healing anointing in and through my hands.

One of the areas I ab

solutely love to minister in is prophetic healing touch.

What is prophetic healing touch, you ask? Well, basically when I am praying and ministering to someone I invite the Spirit of God to lead me to move my hands towards ‘safe’ areas where they need healing in their bodies … safe as perceived by the person I am ministering to.

Sometimes that means that I do not actually touch them and just let my hands hover over that area. Sometimes I am led to embrace and hold the person like mother would with a small child. I am normally very quiet and gentle when I minister to people like that, as I am relying on the Holy Spirit to do His work. Invariably the person experiences some sort of a release often with tears and then joy.

OK, let me explain what is happening here, or rather, how I understand what is happening here.

Quite a number of people have experienced trauma in their lives, including sexual abuse and domestic violence. I will describe in another blog post some of the coping mechanisms such victims live with; else this one gets too long.

For this particular blog post, let me point out some very interesting scientific research with growing verification that neurobiological responses to trauma are stored as trauma memory in the body, even down to the cells.

These body memories continue long after the abuse occurred. Invariably the victim is not even aware of this until it is triggered by some seemingly harmless, non-related incident, when, to the surprise of others, that former victim completely over- reacts or totally freezes.

The reason is that commonly a trauma victim, especially if they experienced sexual abuse or violence as a child, will disassociate that ‘reality’ from their conscious experience memory, building coping patterns and continue with other areas in their life. In other words, it’s like the effect of the trauma does not exist for them, it’s cut off from their daily life, yet shows up when it is least desired.

No matter how much they convince themselves, may even go to psychotherapy – talk therapy – the ugly effects just linger on.

Basically it is important to realise that we are dealing with an invisible body wound, a soul-body wound that needs healing like a physical body wound.

Because the body was central to the trauma, it is now also central to the healing process.

Let me explain a bit more. In sexual abuse, clearly the body is implicated; it is assaulted, its value warped, it is used and abused, boundaries trashed, resulting in pain and confusing sexual responses, or dissociative absence. The joy, comfort and ease with his or her body were, in a sense, stolen. A permanent body wound resulted requiring a combined healing to resolve the body trauma issues.

As I mentioned at the beginning of this writing, I am a huggy touchy person and the church environment is just so perfect for me to throw my arms around everyone that walks through the doors.
Some years ago I was astounded by an unexpected reaction by someone in the congregation. They froze, pulled back and point blank told me, “don’t hug me and don’t touch me!”

Back then, I really did not know what to make of this. I mean, did my breath smell? Did I stink? … or what?? I must have looked ever so puzzled, but the person in question was unable to explain. Later I had similar incidents, but they were gracious to just indicate to me that it was not my breath smelling …

As my ministry calling directed me more and more into the field of intimacy especially sexual intimacy between couples, and have been ministering for years confidentially in that area, I, at times, found various Pandora ’s boxes and cans-of-worms opening. Thus, I pressed (and keep pressing) into the Lord to give me further understanding and insight.

Do I still make mistakes and throw my arms around people, unknowingly pointing them to their scars? I have to admit, yes I do, but I have learnt to become more sensitive with my hugging. There are some people who much rather not be hugged and touched in a social setting, and only God’s power especially in healing tough will set them free.

Now, there is actually a flip side to this.

As a backlash to abuse and their aversion to touch, it will leave some victims touch-deprived, and actually yearn for a strong, warm and heartfelt hug and to be held for long enough for their comfort.

How do we dissolve this hugging dilemma? Be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit, then approach them respectfully, if necessary ask, “Is it ok to give you a hug?” And if they say yes, then hug them from your heart. They’ll need it, and it will be healing to them.

I shall finish this writing with the following food for thoughts:

How to Hug

Hugging may sound like the simplest thing on earth, but it will help to keep a few things in mind. Non-hugs are no good.

I. The A-frame hug, in which nothing but the huggers’ heads touch.

2. The half-hug, where the huggers’ upper bodies touch—while the other half twists away.

3. The chest-to-chest burp, in which the huggers pat each other on the back, defusing the physical contact by treating each other like infants being burped.

4. The wallet-rub, in which two people stand side-by-side and touch hips.

5. The jock-twirl, in which the hugger, who is stronger or bigger, lifts the other person off the ground and twirls him.

6. The violating hug, in which one hugger grinds into the genital area of the other and tries fondling their behind. With non-intimate people this is classified as violating, abusive and a sexual harassment.

The real thing, the full body hug, touches all the bases. The two people coming together take time to really look at each other. There is no evasion or ignoring that they are about to hug… You try as hard as you can to personalize and customize each hug you give… With a full body hug there is a sense of complete giving and fearless. Communication, one uncomplicated by words.

It is the attitude that is important. It need not be a full, frontal hug. It could be sideways.

Important:

Politely ask, “Would you like a hug?” Rushing up to someone assuming they would want a hug is disrespectful.

It’s ok to say no to a hug; and do not feel offended if someone says ‘no’ to you!

Many people do not like their personal space to be invaded. Still others may feel too vulnerable at times to like to be touched.

Many people feel embarrassed or uncomfortable when hugged, but still give it a try, because they are bound to feel good afterwards and may even feel grateful to you.

When you feel the need to be hugged, ask for one.

And don’t forget to thank the other, just be respectful and honourig to each other.

It only takes a hug, a heartfelt and warm embrace, to change the lives of others. Try it, it works.

…. And smile while you do it,

Geli

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

Either in workshops or when couples come to me for help, I coach them on various levels uniquely to their needs. Invariably the question comes up from the husband, “How do I relax my wife to the point where she will want to completely melt into bliss?”

My advice is always, take your time and thoroughly get to know each other and especially yourself. Women, but also men, tend to disconnect with their bodies in the daily humdrum of a hectic busy life. Lovemaking is usually rushed. Both kinda get a little of what they want … he gets a release, she experiences some cuddles for the romantic closeness she craves, and that’s it … till next time. Usually someone misses out and thinks ‘what’s the point of it all?!’ … well, that tends to be the woman….

Now, I fully realise that there are millions of highly satisfied wives out there, who could not be happier in their lovemaking with their hubbies!

Not all happily married couples need help and advice to get things out of a rut between the sheets; some just want to take things to higher levels of bliss in their lovemaking, and it’s those who come to me to seek advice.

There is so much I could share here out of years of working with couples and individuals which I will reserve for the book I am writing.
So, here on this blog, I will feature some little snippets and taster ideas and tips. More blog posts to come with that theme.

Let me start off with a massage. Most people like massages and it’s such a wonderful way to relax and connect with the body.

People tend to forget about their bodies, they become like vehicles that get them from A to B during the day. It gets cleaned up, fed, dressed, maybe it gets the benefit of physical exercises, but that’s more or less it. Then when it comes to lovemaking it’s just a quick genital action.

There is so much more that could be enjoyed. God created us with thousands of nerve endings that register pleasure, not just pain. The pain bit, unfortunately, we are all too familiar with, but the pleasure all over the body is seldom explored.

A warning to husbands, when you think you understand your wife’s body and what feels good to her, and you think you know that you know what ‘buttons to press’, you may find that she gets irritated and you’re thinking, ‘I can never please that woman’.

The beauty of a truly feminine woman is that each time you go on a new adventure with her. Different times of the day, or month she will feel differently. The more you explore and deeply enter into a discovery trail with her, the more it will enrich your life.

In fact the longer you’re married the more exciting, passionate and fulfilling it gets …. provided you know what to do, have the right attitude and love her the way she personally and very uniquely needs and desires to be loved. Yep, genuine love is the key ingredient here, else it all becomes just empty, meaningless techniques, and futile skills mastery, especially in the long run.

Let’s talk about this delicious massage.

It always helps to have a nice ambiance, e.g. music, candles, etc.
Now, I suggest you do that massage in three stages: 1st dry, 2nd feather, and 3rd oil.

The dry massage is very gentle, almost hovering with your hands without tickling, plus add some gentle tapping with your fingers (think rain drops all over her body playing a delicate and yet passionate piano overture). That prepares the nerve cells in the skin for the feather massage.

Without stage one, the dry massage, the feather would tickle badly and irritate, however if you’ve gently prepared the skin nerve cells, the feather will feel exquisite. (if it tickles, you did not prepare that area well enough). You can extend the feather massage by using some gently perfumed body talc.

Here is a picture of the feather fan I use to teach couples this section.

Don’t rush things. Take your time to explore with different sensations. Then move onto the essential oil massage.

In all that you do, explore and get to know her body … well, she might not even know her body that well herself, so let her tell you, either by verbally saying yes or no, by her almost imperceptibly withdraw away from your hand or press into your hand, or by her gentle moans of pleasure.

If you like, you can request that lovely treatment from her to you.

Enjoy!

Geli

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to www.JourneyOfIntimacy.com

Peter has been

a diabetic for years and is on medication (metformin), rather than insulin injections. Peter is also a businessman who travels internationally, holding crucial organisational meetings with decision makers either in boardrooms or in hotel bars, and generally living a stressful life where he used abuse his body eating airline, hotel, and other convenience foods.

When he was diagnosed with diabetes, he tried to watch his food. He reported back that his love-life with his wife started to fluctuate, sometimes the potency was ok, and at other times it certainly was not and he knew he was going down the impotency trail.

Know your own body!

There is something I find amazing with most people who are diabetic. They take their meds; go for their monthly or any other regular blood sugar check-ups, and try to be ‘good’ especially the days before the doctor’s appointments. Meanwhile their libido goes downhill.

If it is a man, quite often the times he has intercourse with his wife will become more infrequent. It’s an odd age, either she is glad that the ‘raging beast’ finally gives her peace, or she has come to a point that she now wants it more and, frustratingly, he is now not interested ….. Ok that is another subject I will deal elsewhere, as it has both psychological and medical implications.

Going back to diabetes and impotency, it is not enough to just go for regular doctor’s appointments!

Let’s say, if a man goes for his monthly check-ups. The day he has his blood sugar levels checked, he may have been very ‘good’ and the results are acceptable to the doctor. What this man does not realise is that during that month the blood sugar levels can fluctuate dramatically, and during the ‘unknown’ high times, a lot of damage is done. So, on the day of the appointment it appears to be fine, when actually it isn’t!

So, the serious minded man will do three things to get to know his own body:

1.    Study his body

2.    Get regular exercises

3.    Check his potency as often as possible (a willing wife is helpful with this …. but then I will be shall sharing more on how to make your wife feel oh so good, she will be asking for more).

Let’s look at point 1.

All food is not created equal. Your body is unique and will metabolise foods uniquely differently to other people, although, certain principles apply across the board.

You are also a package deal in terms of what stresses you negatively, may invigorate someone else. Negative stress also increases the blood sugar levels, as do anxiety, anger, frustration  …. and argument with the spouse, uncertain business deals, etc.

It’s time to log everything about you and study your own body like if it was a laboratory rat! Seriously, NO JOKE!!

Get yourself a blood sugar testing kit, one that gets you to test all your finger tips (well, you would not want to prick he same finger several times a day?!).

For the intensive testing period, stick with a plain food menu that is repeated, thus you should get a reasonably constant reading.

Then introduce one of food type at a time, and check the blood sugar level 2 hours after eating (peak time) – it’s all about getting to know YOUR body!

You will thus find certain foods throw your results off the charts, and others get it below.

Make a note and log it all!

Also make a note if you had any stressful occasions, it may be the stress rather than the food item that threw it off. You will start to see a very useful pattern that will help you to see where and how to do adjustments.

Once you know your body and what foods work best for you, you can then reduce the tests to once a day, in the morning. Still, log everything in a book and a chart.

Back to my client Peter, he was very seriously minded and willing to do whatever it took to manage his blood sugar and regain some of his potency. Sure, it was not like when he was in his 20’s and 30’s when he had full control over body during lovemaking, but he was nonetheless very pleased with the results of what I had advised him to do.

First of all he cut out most, if not all, of the starchy processed carbohydrates and focused on so-called low GI foods, foods with high fibre content.

My preferred recommendation for him is raw, completely uncooked and unprocessed vegetables, as it is living food, and the enzymes in raw foods are destroyed by the heat in the cooking process.

Enzymes are needed to break down food, aid the immune system and metabolism, so that the body can effortlessly assimilate its nutrients.

Enzymes are vital to the healing process in the body. No matter how many vitamins you pop, they will not benefit you that much if they had not been ‘worked on’ by enzymes!

Pasteurized fruit juice, for example, remains fresh for long shelf life because the enzymes have been destroyed by heat. So it is pointless to drink pasteurized vegetable or fruit juices out of cartons and think you’re doing something good for your body! There is no space here to go into details about the benefits of living raw foods and enzyme activities.

I recommended that he would gradually introduce more and more of his vegetables raw. Why? Well, as I said, I am not a medical doctor and I do know that with some people who have abused their bodies for years, their digestive systems are too weak to digest raw vegetables despite all their natural enzymes. So, just in case, I wanted Peter’s body to build up gradually to eating a maximum of raw veggies.

He found out, for example, that eating carrots raw gave him good results, whereas cooking them was like eating sugar cubes, to him.

Thankfully, Peter is a hobby cook, and his wife is a very enthusiastic and dab hand at cooking, too.

First thing, adding to their food processor, they bought themselves a juicing machine and started juicing their raw vegetables.

With juicing you will lose some of the fibre, but if you drink your vegetable juice within 15 minutes, you’ll benefit from all the enzymes, vitamins and minerals as if you were munching them.

They then set out to become very creative making all sorts of interesting dips and sauces out of raw veggies with herbs, spices, apple cider vinegar and virgin olive oil, etc. to add to their chunked up raw veggies and quality cooked lean proteins.

They also learned how to add cinnamon to meals, enjoy a little dark chocolate with very high percentage of cocoa and as little sugar as he could stand; plus get out into the sunshine as much as possible to get adequate vitamin D, and other resourceful and creative ways of enjoying a new lifestyle.

He reported back that their love-life had also picked up considerably! He noticed that whenever his blood sugar was high the inevitable ‘droop’ occurred; it was directly related. In fact he could judge by his potency whether or not his blood sugar was high.

Now, it was not easy to implement all this, especially when he was on business trips. He had to learn to do forward thinking and use a lot of discipline to say ‘no’ to some foods and snacks he used to enjoy and everyone around him ate.

However, the result has been greater energy and a very satisfying intimate time with his wife. He thinks it is worth all the effort.

Geli

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

———-
Please Note: Disclaimer

Nothing above is intended to be a diagnosis, prescription, recommendation, or cure for any specific kind of medical, psychological, emotional or sexual problem.

Please see a qualified practitioner, physician or therapist for further help.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

I was recently challenged by a friend.

“Why! No email, no message, not even a phone call!”
I could hear the frustration and the pain. Actually, this plea is not uncommon, and I hear it quite often in one way or another when I work with couples especially.

1 Peter 3:7 comes to mind:
“…  husbands: Be good husbands to your wives. Honour them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God’s grace, you’re equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don’t run aground.” (The Message)

“Treat your wife with understanding” (NLT)

or

“according to knowledge” (KJV)

“ … you married men should live considerately with [your wives], with an intelligent recognition” (Amplified Translation)

Although the Apostle Peter addresses husbands here, the admonishment is relevant for both spouses as well as amongst friends and acquaintances.

To start off with, let me deal with this section in 1 Peter 3:7 “giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel” (KJV) or, “the woman as [physically] the weaker” (Amplified Translation). To many 21st Century women this statement is outdated and in many ways offensive; even trying to make it a bit more palatable by adding the word ‘physically’ as the Amplified Translation, still does not cut it.

Granted there are biological differences, different hormone, testosterone levels, and all that, but in all of history it can be seen that women have often pulled their equal weight to men, sometimes even more, whether it is in the military, professionally, in sport, and in the home front. Women at times can be stronger physically (childbirth ?), mentally and emotionally than men. I do not wish to get into a who’s stronger or weaker debate here, as that is not the issue; and I believe, personally that this was not the issue to Peter when he wrote that admonition. I believe it was typical Bible ‘shorthand’ for we have all our unique strengths and weaknesses.

These strengths and weaknesses are expressed either in character, personality and mind-intellectually or skills traits, or physically, plus there are unique combinations of them in all of us, as well as being accentuated differently in various cultural and societal settings.

Bottom line: We are all uniquely different – where you are strong, I may be weak – where you are weak, I may be strong. We need to learn to complement each other by maximising our strengths and managing our weaknesses. We need to learn to be smart and intelligent in our loving, and the way we express our needs to be loved.

The key word here is: Treat your spouse, your friend, your relative, acquaintance, neighbour, …. with understanding, according to knowledge.
…. And that is the topic for this particular post.

Let’s look at another bit of Bible ‘shorthand’ which will further unpack that mystery of ‘loving and not being loved back’: The so-called ‘Golden Rule’

“Do to others as you would have them do to you” – Luke 6:31 (NIV)

Applying the ‘Golden Rule’ without knowledge and understanding has led to much heartache and frustration.

The notion of what I would love, cherish and dearly desire to have, or be treated, surely would bless and enrich someone else the same way, is one of the biggest misnomers in relationships and friendships.

Think of a classic: could you think of anything less romantic than a husband giving his wife some DIY tools for her birthday? (Now, to some ladies this is genuinely romantic!)

We smile reading that, but actually most of us have been guilty of doing the same thing in our communication with love.

Think about another classic. The woman withdraws; she is licking some wounds or nurturing some hurt. Her man asks, ‘what’s the matter?’, her reply, ‘Nothing!!!’. What is typically his response? He either sighs or grumbles to himself and then leaves her space to sort herself out …. after all, isn’t that they way he would prefer to be treated … to be given space, be left alone to mull things over, to get a strategy to fix what is bothering him?

Meanwhile she thinks, ‘he just doesn’t care!’ … ‘if he really loved me he would ….’

What she might need at that moment in time is emotional support. She may not want to be given space nor him stepping into a questioning and problem-solving mode, but rather been shown support by him just listening with empathy, being fully present to her with confidence, humour and love.

But what means love to her … to him … to you? Do you know? How well do you know yourself, what makes you tick, what makes you feel loved, treasured or cherished?

Most people I work with think they know, but few have genuinely explored themselves. Even worse I find with Christians who like to hide inside a religious-culture acceptable one-size-fits-all bag of being a nice Christian, who can quote all the relevant scriptures of who they are in Christ, it’s no longer ‘I’ but Him, and then scream blue murder if a fellow Christian steps on their toes (or slip into a martyr victim mode …).

You see every person is uniquely different as to how they feel loved; everyone has their own uniquely different needs and values. Whether you know them consciously or not, they are there, and you feel it when those needs are not met. When we don’t know our own needs and values accurately, we then cannot communicate them to others who equally may not know theirs.

It’s like two people talking in different languages and not even be aware of it.

Taking language as an analogy, I have experienced this dilemma many times myself. I am German and I am fluent in both languages, English and German. There are times, especially when I happen to be in the company of people from both nations that I am not conscious which language I am talking in, I am only aware that I am communicating a message.

I recall a humorous incident when we had dinner guests (English speaking) in our home, and I was chatting with a German friend in the kitchen whilst preparing the food. There came a time when I walked into the living room to announce to our guests “Dinner is being served” (in German). The reply was, “Pardon, what??” (in English). Assuming that I may have mumbled, I now said it louder and more pronounced, “Dinner is being served” (still in German).

This is what often happens in relationships when couples shout their unmet needs at each other in a mismatched language tirade.

What is the answer to this dilemma? The Golden Rule, or should I say the Platinum Rule: Do unto others as they want done unto them …..  the way they want to be treated … in other words, speak their love language.

I mentioned earlier that we need to learn to apply the Golden Rule with knowledge and understanding. Ask yourself. ‘How do I want to be treated? Is that the same as my spouse or whosoever in front of me wants to be treated?

One other thing needs to be understood, apart from knowing the different love languages, needs and values we all have, we also need to understand that there are ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ times when we express them to each other.

Again, I am using an example out of my own life. Being a typical female I thoroughly enjoy marathon chats of several hours with my other female friends. We go on rabbit trails, leaving a thought to jump to a totally different one, only to pick up that original thought half an hour later. One thing sparks off another. Nobody is even aware of the time just spent; we would just be in a flow of communication beyond words…. for hours on end.

However by the same token, especially when I work I like to be undisturbed and can get into a real ‘hermit mode’. I like focus and to be immersed in what I am doing. The last thing I want to see or hear is one of my friends call in to settle for a chat. The “Hi! Yes, I’m fine, thank you, I am busy” seems cruel and uncaring, especially when we have not talked tor days or weeks.

Added to this is another issue: Working hours. Either they work normal office hours from 9-5, then think everyone else does so too, or they are retired from work. My office is at home, and although I am flexible, I work very odd hours, but I still have to put in the hours and more! As a personal consultant I either work with people at a mutually convenient place, or via the internet or phone on a global scale – meaning the time difference between London UK, USA or Australia will need to be considered. Plus I am working on my book.

There are times when I would want to chat, but because of the workload I chose not to, when I appear very anti social with my friends for longer periods of time, when seemingly I am not returning love to them, or ignoring them. There are times when my friends want to shower me with love, but it feels like they are taking energy from me, because I will have to stop what I am doing and then focus on them.

In this quest to love intelligently – or smart , there are times, when especially our female friends need to realize that they should not take it personally when the other party is focused and engulfed in a mission.
They are not less loved and less treasured when for example their man is in a binary mode, totally focused,  absorbed and immersed with a task at hand in his reality of the moment.

What do you do to make your needs known when you need a dose of loving? Well, I shall deal with that in another post. Watch the space.

For now:
Be aware of the timing of the moment, and then apply the Platinum Rule of Love with knowledge and understanding.

Lovingly in Him,

Geli

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feedback!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

Share your smiles with others, it can be a little video clip, a heartwarming anecdote, a sweet joke (only clean ones, please), an endearing picture / photo …. anything that speads a little sunshine in the lives of others.

Here are some lovely quotes:

• Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. Mark Twain
• And through the tears, we’ll smile when we recall, we had it all for just a moment. – St. Elmo’s Fire
• No smile is as beautiful as the one that struggles through the tears.
• A smile is a light in the window of the soul, indicating that the heart is at home.
• Smile, it’s the second best thing one can do with one’s lips.
• Brighten the world with your smile.
• A smile costs nothing, but gives much.
• A smile is a little curve that sets a lot of things straight.
• What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity. Joseph Addison
• A smile can open a heart faster than a key can open a door.
• Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
• A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. – Phyllis Diller
• Everyone smiles in the same language. – Author Unknown
• If you don’t have a smile, I’ll give you one of mine. – Author Unknown
• I’ve never seen a smiling face that was not beautiful. – Author Unknown
• Everytime you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing. – Mother Teresa
• It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. – Author Unknown
• Peace begins with a smile. – Mother Teresa

Joyfully,

Geli

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feedback!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

In some respects it is a feel-good movie. It is funny at times, touching, sad, controversial and thought provoking. I personally really enjoyed the film and certainly recommend it to those with an open mind.

Of course one of the main reasons why I like the film is watching the yet again brilliant performance of Robin Williams (although probably not as stunning as his performance in “Good Will Hunting”).

However, my main ‘hook’ in the film was the notion of the healing power of joy, humour and laughter.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine,

but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. “

– Proverbs 17:22

or like the Amplified version puts it: “A happy heart is good medicine and a cheerful mind works healing”.

According to the University of ‘Maryland School of Medicine’, research suggests that mental stress is correlated with impairment of the endothelium, the protective barrier lining our blood vessels, which can bring about inflammatory reactions potentially causing fat and cholesterol build-up in the coronary arteries.

Research also indicates that laughter enhances blood flow, whereas emotional states associated with stress are contributing factors to restricted blood flow in the arteries.

As laughter appears to increase the immune response and may raise the level of infection-fighting antibodies, it also raises the amount of immune cells, plus laughter diminished the secretion of the body’s stress hormones, cortisol and epinephrine, and even seems to have a beneficial effect on blood sugar levels.

That is on the medical research side, but when laughter is shared, it connects and bonds people increasing happiness and intimacy.

According to psychologist William James, “We don’t laugh because we’re happy. We’re happy because we laugh.”

I have a request, would you please share with me and other readers your favourite movies that made you feel good and gave you a good old laugh …. or even a full belly laugh?

Cheerfully,

Geli

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

There were several incidents, during that time, whilst driving my car that I would get myself into a full-fletched stressed-out “tizz”. I am not a one that aggressively shouts and swears at other drivers, but during that time of severe testing my nerves were strained and I overreacted jumping at the slightest noise or sudden perceived threats or danger. I would tighten and close-up up on the outside but on the inside I was a mix between an automated corpse, functioning like a robot, and a wasp caught in a jam jar. My reactions and behaviour, though not aggressive and abusive, were inappropriate none-the-less.

During those times I was very grateful to my son who understood me, who understood that the only way to snap me out of that mode was to reconnect me to my intimate times with the Lord and get me into His presence.

My son loves music, a very wide variety of music, and so do I. However, during those moments he knew only one type of music would do: intimate worship.

The moment he would play that audio tape (yes that was prior to CD’s or MP3s), I uncoiled, unknotted, relaxed and started to breathe again. It was like I had turned my eyes away from the ‘wall’ and gazed into the smiling eyes of my Eternal Lover and my Heavenly Father, and I knew all was ok, again.

The analogy and story of a trainee racing driver has almost become proverbial. Apparently if for split seconds a racing driver looks at the wall, he’ll crash. The story I heard was how one trainer literally had to quickly yank the head of his trainee around so he would not look at the wall, and back on the track and his goal before him.

In our daily walk we are faced with many walls – walls of unhappiness, grief, trauma, and turmoil, walls of literal or perceived threats, losses or impending losses, the various fears we are presented with in this economic climate, or health scares we hear about …. or even when things just don’t go our way and we are facing the wall of grumpiness, or pity-party. The only hope we have of not crashing against whatever wall we face is to yank our head around and gaze at the One who is Hope, Love and Joy.

There are times when we need to snap out of our emotionally and spiritually negative state and enter into rejoicing and celebrating on purpose, by choice, and not waiting for the situation to change first.

The people in Nehemiah’s day had to learn this lesson:

9 “Nehemiah the governor, along with Ezra the priest and scholar and the Levites who were teaching the people, said to all the people, “This day is holy to God, your God. Don’t weep and carry on.” ….
10 He continued, “Go home and prepare a feast, holiday food and drink; and share it with those who don’t have anything: This day is holy to God. Don’t feel bad. The joy of God is your strength!”
12    The Levites calmed the people, “Quiet now. This is a holy day. Don’t be upset.”
12 So the people went off to feast, eating and drinking and including the poor in a great celebration. Now they got it; they understood the reading that had been given to them.”  – Nehemiah 8:9-12 (The Message)

It’s quite easy to get into a pattern of fear and all that is associated with it. To disrupt that pattern, we need to first recognise that there is God, and that He is bigger than the problem we face. We also need to recognise that He calls this day, this time in our life, holy! He has decreed that this is your day and my day which is holy.

The dictionary defines ‘Holy’ as: health, salvation, happiness, sacred, whole or sound; belonging to or derived from or associated with a divine power.

God, who is Love and hope, declares that the day we are facing is whole, sound and sanctified with His divine power. As we yank our heads and eyes away from our wall and gaze at Him, we step into His reality of holiness and saving divine power, and come into agreement with this.

Next, we need to ‘feast’ and ‘celebrate’ and share it with those who don’t have anything.

This does not necessarily mean a literal feast, although it could be. Much rather, think of a smile,  a  loving word of encouragement or a genuine hug as something we can share it with those who don’t have anything.

There are provisions for our feasts and celebration all around us if we only chose to stop and look. Can you see the butterfly, hear the birds, or see the little flower in the crack of a pavement?
When we are in a negative state our heart closes as if to protect it, a bit like that jam jar that entrapped the madly buzzing wasp, we entrap our pain, hurt, anguish, anger, etc. thinking we can protect our heart.

When we chose to turn our heads and eyes from the ‘wall’; when we chose to open our heart and see our life as ‘holy’ gazing at  Him, and celebrate with thankfulness the feast he has already provided, then it is like the lid of that jam jar is removed, that nasty wasp can fly out.
Away from the ‘wall’ and back on track, we then truly come to know that the joy of God is your strength!

“You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand. “ – Psalm 16:11 (New International Version)

Joyfully,

Geli

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!

_________________________________

© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann – inStrengths Ministries – The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

Did I mention that I am German?

….. Anyway, it was a little while ago when I was on the phone with my cousin, Agathe, in Germany. For some reason during our conversation our mutual late grandmother popped up in our margarethe-baroness-von-luck-und-wittenconversation (the pic on here is our late grandmother, at the time of the picture – 1917, Margarethe Baroness von Luck und Witten).

Agathe mentioned, almost as a throw away remark, that our late grandma was the illegitimate child of an Earl (or Count both words translate the same into German: Graf).

Grandma’s mother, our great-grandmother, who apparently died during child birth, was an opera singer. Agathe had been left with a whole bundle of old documents when one of our aunts died, and also heard this from an elderly lady who knows the family background well. “I know about the Graf,” I said to Agathe, “my mother told me.” She was shocked that I knew when her mother had never told her. We knew that our Grandmother’s first husband was a Baron, after all, the material evidence relating to this aristocratic heritage was all around us when we grew up as kids, and of course our spinster aunts carried that name.

Somehow I had pushed all this knowledge aside as it is not relevant to my life now. But for some reason, when Agathe mentioned that, my curiosity was teased out of its hiding …. and, actually, I did not know that our great-grandma was an opera singer. (Did she sing Wagner operas? I wonder …. afterall Richard Wagner lived around that time and was a major hit in high society ….)

Now we started to dig, who exactly was this Graf? …when might it had been that grandma was born … somewhere in the mid 1880’s? “Yes, and he was the Bavarian ambassador at St. Petersburg,” Agathe added.

I know absolutely nothing about my own country’s history, I have to admit, so I found myself digging through the German Google, came across King Ludwig II of Bavaria (never heard of that guy before … now I read that he was the one who had all these fantasy castles built such as ‘Neu Schwanstein’ which inspired Walt Disney, and for a long while the King was Wagner’s patron) ….

I found myself digging on the Internet till 4am in the morning that day. Why? I was fascinated, I wanted to find out who on earth exactly was this great grandfather? I wanted to find out who my blood lineage was. I could not care less that my dear great-grandmother had an affair and wound up giving birth to my grandmother out of wedlock. It was part of my quest, ‘who am I?’

I know who I am spiritually, I am the child of the Most High God, the daughter of the King of Kings, so, why bother about some Graf who gallivanted about in different countries, and probably fathered a good many more children he neither knew nor cared about. But then, it is fascinating when people and relatives tell me, “you’re just like your grandmother, you even look like her”.

We have been woven into a rich tapestry of life which moulds so much of how we live our lives, our personality and our character.

Some time ago I read about this account of two brothers who grew up in the worst part of the Bronx in New York. Their mother was a prostitute; domestic violence was the norm in that family. Their father was either full of drugs or alcohol, in and out of jail, and finally stayed there for murder. One of the two brothers followed his father’s footsteps and also wound up in jail. His brother, however, went to school, won scholarships, became a successful lawyer, and happily married with three children. When they were interviewed and asked what caused them to become who they are, both of them gave the same reply, “Because of our father”.

It rather goes to show that it is not the circumstances that cause us to become who we are, but rather how we interpret the circumstances and live accordingly. In other words we can allow circumstances to use us, or we use circumstances. The choice is ours.

When we were born-again we received at that moment a new spirit and the force of eternal life. I am referring to eternal life not as duration of endless existence, not a time period; but life as a substance, an altered condition of our spirit.

Jesus said, “I come that they might have life.” The moment you get born-again the zoe-life, the spirit life, what is called in Hebrew the Ruach HaKodesh , His Holy Spirit, comes into you. At that moment your spirit is changed. Who you are in your recreated spirit-being is not the one you are right now as you experience yourself. Who you are, the spirit-being, is the one clothed with the resurrection body, that does not look a thing like you look now. Who you are as a spirit-being, has a new identity.

The Bible says that we have a new name. The new nature has a whole new capacity that might take ‘millions of years’, to discover and unfold to understand that aspect of you which is His image that your Father has put in you, uniquely as a that son or daughter of God. You don’t even know who you are yet, but you’re a whole lot more than you think right now.

Thus, from the spiritual aspect we need to come to know who we are by renewing our minds. From the natural perspective, we need to know who we are to make sure we are we are running our life rather than life running us.

Many of you have suffered because somebody did not see and celebrate the uniqueness in the way you were made, and wanted you to be the way they wanted you to be, and never affirmed who you actually are. You wound up with many negative reference experiences. Many of those have stuck to you like plaster.

This reminds of a rather interesting story I read many times from different sources.

In Bangkok, Thailand, is a famous golden Buddha statue that is about 900 years old.

The 3 meter tall Buddha is made up of 5.5 tons of solid gold. The statue was covered in plaster, disguised as a stone Buddha in order to save it from the Burmese who ransacked temples and plundered the gold during various wars.

Obviously, the camouflage job turned out to be too good because when those responsible for covering it with plaster died, so did the true nature of the Buddha image inside.

Two centuries after it had been first covered in plaster, it was thought to be worth very little.

But in 1957, when the statue was being moved to a new temple building in Bangkok, it slipped from a crane and was left in the mud by workmen. The covering plaster was partly broken. Only then did the people realize that it was made of pure solid gold.

I believe this is a good analogy as to who we really are; we are made of the pure solid gold of God’s design and purpose for us.

Life and living has covered many of us, disguised by pain, disappointments, failure, lost hope, that we do not even resemble who we really are.

Who is going to crack off the misleading plaster? Who’s going to have to change the program?

We are – with the help of the Spirit of God working in us and through us!

This is your life, your own – not your mother’s, not your sister’s, not your spouse’s, nor your best friend’s.

When you discover the person inside, the one you have always been, foreknown and fore-loved by our Heavenly Father before the foundations of the world, you will be surprised by joy and astonished by awe.

Joyfully,

Geli

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

The other day I was contacted with a request for help. Let me change her name and call her Linda, to protect her identity.

“I need help and I need prayer,” Linda started. “I am speaking, sharing and singing at a conference, tomorrow, and I have not sung in many years, it’s such a hard song. I am scared I forget what I’m going to say when I speak in front of them …. I normally look at the wall behind the people when I sing …. well, please just pray that GOD will possess me tomorrow and flow.. and for me to be obedient …. I wish you could go instead of me!”

It is true that I do not think twice about speaking in front of large groups of people, in fact I get a buzz out of it. I love connecting with my audience. I hate being stuck behind a podium with an immovable microphone, I love to walk about, into the audience and connect with them. I guess, after more than 28 years in the ministry that is probably to be expected. There was a time in my life, however, when I felt just like Linda, actually worse.

Nothing of the sort was planned by me, I literally stumbled into ministry when I inadvertently pioneered and pastored a small multicultural church in my living room in Hong Kong. I had no intentions for that to happen; yes, I was passionate about God and His Word, and especially about the Holy Spirit.

All I did was share what I had learnt with a few friends, then they told their friends, who told their friends, etc.
Then there came a time when we had actually out grown our very spacious living room and had to hire a hall.

Thankfully, I had befriended a minister from the Kenneth Copeland Ministries who decided to help me. He clearly saw that I was called into ministry, but he also saw that I completely froze with fear standing in front of a growing congregation, now transitioning into a hall. I was in such a bad shape at that time! When I walked up to the pulpit my brain turned into mush and the information supposedly to be shared looked more like a grey fuzzy TV screen without a signal, my body would shake and somehow I forgot how to walk or stand. I could not even remember the names of my closest friends …..

My dear friend from KCM connected me to the “Dale Carnegie Course: Effective Communications & Human Relations”. I very highly recommend this course. It made a huge difference; I even wound up assisting on the Course after graduating from mine. I must say, I personally even preferred this Dale Carnegy course to the “Zig Ziglar ‘Effective Presentations’ Course”, also a most excellent and highly recommendable course, which I took at a later point.

None-the-less, there came a time when I truly freaked out again, close to fainting …. no exaggeration.

Reason? One, I was thrust a microphone into my hands by an international keynote speaker at a packed out conference with rows of ministers and bishops sitting on the platform, and two, I was to speak in front of the seasoned minister who had ordained me into ministry.

I felt totally pitifully inadequate in front of people who I admired and respected, way senior to me, experienced, seasoned, not only in presenting the Gospel message but also in their walk with Christ.

Who was I? They’d look at me and think, ‘where’s the anointing?’ I woud never be good enough or even acceptable. The fear of rejection raised its ugly head again … a fear I was well experienced to.

I grew up in a family where just about everyone was an academic, with lawyers, doctors, etc. My own father was a scientist, published author, who was used to speaking at symposiums, and of course to the students at his university. My mother was a very ambitious pharmacist, and in her eyes, I had always been an embarrassment to the family, a failure, never good enough for anything really.

So, now this was haunting me again, as I was to speak in front of those dignified men and women in ministry. I felt like I had nothing to give.

But God turned it into a ‘Moses Moment’. Just like He asked Moses, “What do you have in your hands?” I felt that He was inquiring, “What have I wrought in your life? What seeds, whatever small you perceive them to be, do you have that you can now sow? What gift is in your life which you can now give away, that would meet the needs of those before you?”

That was the very turning point in my life. I looked at those in front of me through a different set of eyes, eyes of compassion, seeing needs that only God through me could meet.

“Share from your heart,” I said to Linda, “connect with just one person at a time, then it all flows out naturally like you’re talking to a friend. Imagine that they are the only person in the room and you really want to share something that will so bless them.

“See, You are not important, but the ones you want to bless, are. So, take the focus completely off you. When you forget about yourself, all of a sudden the others become important and you’re no longer self-conscious and scared.

“When you defocus from you, when you stop being self-conscious and focus on the others and their needs instead, when it does not matter any longer if you croak instead of sing, but when you have a message that you are passionate to give, surrendered to Him, then He can fill that with Himself, and it will meet the needs of others.”

Linda was still on some sort of a “scaredy-cat-rollercoaster” when she blurted out, “Yeah, but the original artist who sung that song, her voice and everything is just so amazing and so much better than me ….. I, just want to be perfect in order to bless them! ….”

“Well, she is a trained singer, for starters,” I replied, “I applaud anyone who pays the price for rigorous training and becoming the best they can be. Yes, she is a singer of highest calibre, but she won’t be there, she will not reach the people tomorrow, you will! When you connect with the hearts of people, when you connect with their needs, you only need to say one word, sing one tone, and it is explosive.

“Rather than needing to be perfect with your song, close your eyes and imagining reaching out to one or several people through your song. Think why they are there. They’ll come, not to hear a great singer, performer, speaker (… in life there will always be someone perceived to be ‘better’ than you …), the people, your audience, are there because there are needs in their hearts and life, and they are hoping that God through you will meet that need.

“See, it’s all about connecting with the heart. If you really connect and minister to their needs, then people are so concerned with what’s going on inside of them, that they won’t even notice if your tone and pitch is not perfect or whatever.

Now, I am not saying that this gives you licence to be awful and distract those listening from hearing the Spirit of God. The Bible does say,

“Be diligent and study to present yourself approved to God as a workman who does not need to be ashamed, accurately handling the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)

Do what it takes to be the best you can be at any specific time in your life, but then lay aside the need for perfection, which so often comes from a motivation of avoiding perceived rejection, which leaves the spotlight on You, how you come across, and how you are perceived, it’s feeding on your need to be loved and accepted by the audience, on your insecurities. When you thus focus on yourself whilst attempting to minister to others, you actually rob them of a heart connection and blessing.

So, let’s talk about some practicals, how do you connect with your audience?

Do your home work first. Know your audience and their needs. Pray, study, research, pray, practice, oh … did I say pray?

Close your eyes, and become still.

Then with your closed eyes, by faith, allow His Love for them to rise up in you; intensify that love like it was a matter of life and death (it just may be, you never know!).

Enter into His rest whilst stirring up His Love for them in you.

Feel His heart for the precious people in front of you. It does not matter how big and ugly they are, they have wounds and needs that only His love can reach. Let His passion and love for them burn inside of you.

When you’re in that space, open your eyes and let it flow and pour out, and enjoy the ride as He touches the innermost hidden crevices of the hearts of the ones He so loves.

With love,

Geli

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

Dear Lord! Did he ever challenge my over 28 years in ministry! I feel I have nothing to say, like having been playing church in the ministry kindergarten sandbox!

When I started out in ministry in Hong Kong in 1981, pioneered and pastored a small church, and also was blessed befriending Jackie Pullinger, it was all very raw and passionate. Later, as I became more involved with bigger churches, got ordained and then of course was an associate minister at a large church in London, things changed. I learnt the ropes of ministry behaviour.

We had ministers from large international churches and ministries come to our conferences, and anyone who is familiar with what it was like in those ‘Word of Faith’ days, …. you know … all the designer wear, crocodile leather shoes, jewellery, and generally being very important, and terribly respectable would know what I am talking about.

Thank goodness things have changed. Over some time now, everything inside me has been stretched, never to be the same again. Not only have I enjoyed the encredible privilege to feast from ministry tables and served by the likes of Patricia King, Jill Austin, Bobby Conners, etc. etc. on the Internet, but also at my church, Chiswick Christian Centre – but this guy, Jason Westerfield, like Heidi Baker, REALLY pushed the envelope!

Although fully sensitive, respectful, and submitted to the pastor of my church as a guest speaker, he just flowed with humility, freedom in Christ, with outrageous exuberance of extravagant worship. This guy knows how to worship – totally oblivious of what might be respectable or conventional around him.

He could not care less what anyone was thinking, and just took off dancing, jumping, bouncing, twirling, high jumps with shouts of joy, running into the congregation, taking members by the hand and get them to let go and enter into the joy of the Lord. King David, eat your heart out, you’ve got your match!

It was like he had totally abandoned himself to the Lord with sensitivity of His flow. No showmanship whatsoever! In some respect, you really did not know what Jason was doing next, I guess he did not know either, as he fully followed God’s directive. At times you wondered where he was …. at one point he had collapsed into a corner at the side quietly weeping in intercession, whilst everyone else was happily singing and worshipping.

I had never seen any minister just for long periods of time lying prostrate before the Lord on the floor, shoes kicked off, and then later preaching running around in socks. His style is without any airs and graces, pomp and circumstances – it’s about Holy Spirit protocol, submitted to Him first!

When he ministered it felt more like he was mentoring the entire congregation like interns to get them to dare to take steps into the greater heavenly realm of the supernatural. With Jason it’s all about intimacy with the Lord. It’s funny, he’s a young guy of about 33 years old, yet he mentored and laboured like a father amongst us, tirelessly teaching the Word with passion and healing signs following.

I guess the biggest eye-opener to me was on Sunday. I’m sure, anyone who may have come to enjoy a nice Sunday service would have been in for a shock. The message he had planned to preach did not happen. Instead he led the entire congregation into deep intercession, we were all on the floor or on our knees … and it was not a silent intercession either!

I realised that this guy has experienced a different spiritual reality. There is a new breed of ministers, such as Jason, Jamie Galloway, Joshua Mills, and John Crowder that contend for living in a realm of supernatural Kingdom reality with such abandoned passion, power and intimacy that leaves church as usual in a pitiful kindergarten of useless traditions.

One thing is for sure, no one can experience that level of the supernatural, unless they are daily striving to live with a pure heart, no personal agendas, their own lives nailed to the cross of Jesus, and His rest!

I think these young guys challenge us older established ministers to tear off those robes of tradition and outward respectability, and like King David worship Him with all our might, living in totally surrendered intimacy with the Master and Lover of our soul, Jesus!

(senior pastor Phil Whitehead in the blue shirt on the left)

——

I originally posted this in February (2009). Since then Jason has been back and again brought the house down. The glory was thick!

Just last weekend he continued to labour on laying some vital foundations pf prayer and intercession, especially for the nations, in specific for the UK.

I encourage you to check out Jason’s website, Kingdom Realities Ministries and the Chiswick Christian Centre podcast where you can listen and download those messages for free.

With love,

Geli

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!

________________________________
© Copyright Angelika Regina Heimann, The Journey Of Intimacy 2009. All Rights Reserved

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

Fran and Marlo Cowan (married 62 years) playing impromptu recital together in the atrium of the Mayo Clinic. He turned 90 in February.

They make it look fun growing old together! I just love how they grabbed the opportunity to leave some smiles on other people, and clearly having a laugh!

Marlow Cowan of Ankeny, IA and his bride of 63 years, Fran, returned to Mayo Clinic on Wednesday, Feb. 24 to play a mini-concert in the Landow Atrium of the Gonda Building. This is the first of several videos from the performance that will be uploaded here, in which Marlow serenades his sweetheart and entertains a large gathering of their fans.

Joyfully,

Geli

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!

This is kind of a little sequel from my previous blog on ‘Parenting and God’.

Both of my ‘kids’ are adults now, and I trust that my reflections here are going to be of some inspiration and encouragement to those of you who are in the parenting (grand-parenting) process.

No matter how great or how awful our parenting skills are, no matter how many times we miss it, and actually inadvertently emotionally wound our precious kids, we do mean well, we want the best for them …. at least most parents would agree.

As parents we have our own ‘stuff’ that we keep on having to trust God to grow though. We all have our own ‘blind spots’, and our personal ‘picture frame’ through which we view and interpret our world and what is happening around us.

I would like to quote myself from an earlier blog post, “Digging out my personal history …”

“Some time ago I read about this account of two brothers who grew up in the worst part of the Bronx in New York. Their mother was a prostitute; domestic violence was the norm in that family. Their father was either full of drugs or alcohol, in and out of jail, and finally stayed there for murder. One of the two brothers followed his father’s footsteps and also wound up in jail. His brother, however, went to school, won scholarships, became a successful lawyer, and happily married with three children. When they were interviewed and asked what caused them to become who they are, both of them gave the same reply, “Because of our father”.

It rather goes to show that it is not the circumstances that cause us to become who we are, but rather how we interpret the circumstances and live accordingly. In other words we can allow circumstances to use us, or we use circumstances. The choice is ours.”

Having said all that, this does not give us, as parents, licence to treat our kids any old way. We are responsible before God that we do our best. I, for one, am very grateful the way both my ‘kids’ have turned out. I give God all the glory for that! It has not been easy, there has been huge family upheavals, a lot of trauma and pain, plus my divorce, losing the family home/house, etc.
Yet, God has brought us all through by His grace. Both of them are very fine young people, balanced, and filled with the Holy Spirit.

Now, you’re asking, what was my contribution? My aim was and is to build friendship and not just a parent/child relationship.

My aim was to convey to them unconditional regard – I may not have agreed with all they were doing, however, they knew that no matter what, my unwavering love was and is available to them at all times …. with my heart and arms wide open.

I guess one of the main things I learnt from my own upbringing was, that due to ‘uncomfortable consequences’, I decided that ‘stuff’ secretly done behind the back of my parents would be more enjoyable. This robbed me of some major protection which landed me in serious trouble and nearly left me for dead.

I thus decided that my kids should be offered the benefit of non-judgemental love and acceptance with the doors of communication open at all times, should they decided to make use of it.

The other main thing I learned from my upbringing was, that once the initial stages of ‘pure protection’ were over (e.g. as a toddler sticking fingers into electric socket outlets), the do’s and don’ts “because I say so” do not necessarily work in the long run, but teaching and imparting values do.

To that end, I would not say ‘no’ to a movie, etc. (knowing that most likely they would watch it at a friend’s house in any case), but take the time and watch it with them and then discuss principles and values with them. (OK that movie situation only lasted a limited time, as I am a complete wuzz, and can’t handle action and suspense too well ….)

I recall one preacher/pastor one day was disgusted walking past by some magazine racks with teen magazines on display with rather questionable sexual content displayed. He turned around to me and sharply said that he would never permit his daughter to put eyes on that abominable stuff from the pit of hell.
I had to keep my mouth zipped, at the time, as I was actually buying the very same magazines for my own daughter. However, I did not just give her the mag and left her to digest that stuff with her friends. No, I sat down with her. Together we leafed through the magazines, read and discussed … again, my aim was to educate and impart values. The allure to secretly read and watch this material behind my back with so-called friends was removed; all was discussed in the open in a non-judgemental way, to equip her, and to keep the communication channels accessible at all times.

I knew that kids, teens, are not so much interested in the mechanics of sex or the anatomy of body parts, but much rather what does it feel emotionally, what happens on the heart level, especially afterwards, after having slipped into a lust event?
What’s the difference between hormones and true affections?
What are the values from a Biblical perspective and why?

Values, values, values … to provide healthy boundaries, not as a spoil sport for fun, but to liberate into enduring growth.

That meant spending time … sometimes sitting with that precious teenager till the small hours of the night/morning, and just talking and listening, trying to understand their world.

I know that in all my endeavours, I still have failed and come short many, many times, in really hearing them, really understanding them, really getting to know them. As parents we often automatically assume that we know our kids, but do we? Really? It takes huge amount of unconditional love, time, setting aside own preconceptions, own world perceptions.

There were times when I could not relate to them at all, when my automatic alarm bells started ringing furiously. It’s exactly at those times when I had to sit myself down, first, and check and re-check whether or not I was just reacting according to my personal realities and comfort zone.

I tried to learn to put aside my personal preferences, enter into their world, into their map of reality, and allow myself to be stretched. I cried, sobbed, prayed, …. messed up, asking them to forgive me.

Yeah! I failed and messed up; I have not been a perfect mother by any stretch of imagination. I have made mistakes, and will continue to make mistakes …. not because I intend to, but because I am still growing, maturing, and learning till I graduate into my heavenly home.

However, one thing I would say, I love them dearly and I know that I am loved by them. We have amazingly beautiful relationships with each other. My son has just given me a most outstanding new daughter, who I love dearly, too. A very special young woman, I could not think of a better wife for my son.

So, if you happen to be a parent of teenagers, or will be a parent of a teenager/s, take heart and be encouraged. Love them, not the way you think they should be loved, but the way they want and need to be loved according to their uniqueness. And pray, intercede, go into spiritual warfare, cover them with the Blood of Jesus, regularly take Holy Communion and uphold them in prayer, yes, immerse them in prayer *behind the scenes*.

Don’t be like Job in the Bible who feared the worst that might happen to his children in the time and age he was living in … we’re living in. Have faith in God, He is their eternal Father. By faith expect great and honourable things for your children and they will live up to it!

Don’t beat yourself up when you make mistakes, ask for forgiveness, forgive yourself, get up, dust yourself off, learn from your mistakes, get over it, and move on.

Building and experiencing a godly loving relationship with one’s children is one of the greatest gifts and joys from heaven …. it’s worth it!

Lovingly,

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!

P.S.  For those of you with younger kids, please check out my previous post on:

Busy Parents and God

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

What was so unique about his connection that makes him such a patriarch in biblical history and icon in modern Christianity? Well I think one of the clues is his unique communication with God. There is something deep in the core of David that bubbles forth when he writes or sings. I kind of hope that springs up from the depth of his soul to defy the process and engage in an encounter with God. He is known for rejecting the strict rules the priests were given, trading the process for undignified worship. Something the priests feared they would suffer for. However there is no fear in love. Remember their approach to the holy of hollies was marked with purification processes and even then they were not sure they wouldn’t drop dead in the presence of God. Where God is, sin and affliction can not hide. And in those days sin was bound up in the heart of a man so exposing himself to God without the cleansing rituals, meant certain death. Just for extra measure, a rope was tied around their ankle, just in case they dropped dead, this way they could pull a dead priest out without having to go in and be exposed to God’s presence. David proceeds to enter the holy of hollies and talk directly to God, usually only done by a priest of Levi.

So how did David thrive in this culture and environment? It seems obvious now after the death and resurrection of Jesus, that all God wanted was an intimate, heart-to-heart connection with His people. That deep in the heart of God is this unquenchable desire to be connected with us. It seems to supersede rules, process and formula. Isn’t this the reason He sent His son? So that we may be reconciled to Him? It proves that He will go to great lengths, moving heaven and earth, to be connected with us. And when we just look at him with one look of desire in our eye, it says in Song of Solomon, He lavishes the kingdom upon us. David understood this. God’s perfect love casts out the fear. David was practiced in his ability to draw the favor of God into his life.

One of the clues we have is the way he wrote the psalms. They are an inside look at David’s heart. It is easy for us to strip it down and turn it into a process, but it flows from the heart of a man in intimate embrace with his God. The overflow of David’s heart shows several clues about the posture of a heart after God’s heart.

First off David was a master of intimacy or “into-me-you-see because I showed you”. He bypasses traditional prayers moving away from the first levels of communication [i.e. spiritual cliche’s, facts and opinions] and moves right to opening his heart. Intimacy is only for the brave. He shares his feelings and needs openly and honestly. The reason he is so good at this is because he has developed a great trust cycle with God.

A trust cycle looks like this:

As God satisfied his needs, David’s trust grew, and a safe place for intimacy increased. What we see in the Psalms is a result of practiced intimacy in the presence of God.

Next David builds his own faith or strengthens himself in God. Notice how often he repeats a testimony and how often he makes prophetic declarations about who God is and what He will do. David is a master of pulling to the surface the testimonies, promises and prophesies of God. This is a clue to where his faith came from. This is more than just great self talk or a and inspirational pep-rally. This is the renewal of our minds; the alignment of our minds with the mind of God. It is the very essence of the spiritual warfare of an advancing kingdom of God that the gates of hell can not stand against.

Psalm 61
1 Hear my cry, O God;
Attend to my prayer.
2 From the end of the earth I will cry to You,
When my heart is overwhelmed;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
3 For You have been a shelter for me,
A strong tower from the enemy.
4 I will abide in Your tabernacle forever;
I will trust in the shelter of Your wings. Selah
5 For You, O God, have heard my vows;
You have given me the heritage of those who fear Your name.
6 You will prolong the king’s life,
His years as many generations.
7 He shall abide before God forever.
Oh, prepare mercy and truth, which may preserve him!
8 So I will sing praise to Your name forever,
That I may daily perform my vows.

The heart after God’s heart is evident in David as we observe his communication style and the hope that he carries in the midst of trials. He is intimate with the Father, easily sharing his feelings and needs, and he is adept at strengthening himself in God, by repeating the testimonies and declaring the character and promises of God over his life. This is the pattern of intimacy and power that leaves an imprint in history like no other. It is the the blueprint of a life poured out in the pursuit of God’s heart. It is the clue to attracting the attention of heaven and the favor of God for your life.

So what is the problem? The problem is this doesn’t come naturally to all of us. In fact we are so conditioned in our relationships that what we feel and need has no value and the enemies plan is for us to easily forget the testimonies and promises of God, that we find this exercise really difficult. It was never supposed to be this way. You were created to carry the testimonies and promises of God and to intimately commune with Him.
Often relationships have gotten us into this mess and they will get us out. If we can practice this kind of communication style and and hope building with friends we can trust, as well as the God, we will become masters just like David.

—–

Read the original post by Danny Silk at    http://news.lovingonpurpose.com

In my dream I found myself in a place where people come in, did whatever they had to do and then left again.  It looked like a large changing room or interchange place. There was a continuous stream of people coming and going.

I noticed that there was someone who did not come and go, who was just there, and He was playing the flute.

I was captivated by the flute as it is my personal favourite musical instrument, so I lingered to watch and listen. But then I noticed that the flute player was Jesus Himself. I was stunned and struck by awe just by the revelation of who it was who almost unassumingly, non-demandingly walked in our midst and playing the flute to us.

I became more engrossed in Him and His presence and decided to stay longer still – just watch and listen. Whilst playing the flute, He was slowly walking about towards people as they were coming and going in their busy endeavours. Most people who entered saw Him or at least were aware of Him, and some greeted Him politely, and then walked on, did what they had to do and then left.

I thought to myself, ‘do they actually know who He is?!’, and I then felt that, yes, most people did, but they were just too busy to stop. They politely acknowledged Him, but never stopped long enough to listen to Him play the flute. It was almost like pleasant general background noise to them as they swiftly moved through the area and out.

Where I was standing, location wise, was just a little further away than the people I watched entering and leaving the busy exchange through-route. So, I decided to walk up close to Him.

The closer I walked towards Him, the more I became aware how apprehensively ‘star-struck’ in awe I was of Him … and would I actually hold up to being in His glorious presence as it became more powerful and radiant?

However, as I kept walking closer to Him, what I was experiencing, this irresistible drawing mixed with in-awe-trepidation, was gradually changing, almost in an imperceptible melting interchange into radiating love, yes, the intense romantic love of a lover, both from Him and now reverberating from myself to Him, through Him, back to me ….

It became so overwhelmingly intense like I had never felt before, even those giddiest moments of times in my life when I had first fallen in love with a man could not compare.
I walked even closer; the intense romancing love from Him had me craving for more. He continued playing the flute. Our eyes met, and His lovers love burned even deeper inside of me, affecting my entire being.

With that I woke up, still in sheer awe with that overwhelming deep romancing lover’s love burning inside of me; however, I was also reflecting how people just walk through, acknowledge Him at best, but not stop, listen and draw close to him beyond the almost foreboding awe of being in the presence of God Himself into the intense romancing of the Lover of His Bride.

Loving Him,

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging words and great feed-back!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

I am a dreamer, and most of my dreams, so far, appear to be personal or for those people immediately around me. The dream I had last night, however, appears to be beyond that.

The setting of the dream: I was inside a large house, a place I was familiar with in the dream. Looking outside the house was a non-built up area (no other houses in view) with an expansive, very large, pretty park like garden with lots of trees. Again, in the dream I seemed to have been familiar with that very large garden. Inside the house was another person (male, not identifiable outside the dream) who was just there not doing anything.

The dream started with me looking out of a large window after an exceedingly heavy downpour of rain. As I had known the pretty garden like landscape before the rain, I was very shocked what I saw now. (Shocked, not as in devastated, but shocked as in astounded, amazed).

The previously pretty landscape was unrecognisably wrecked and changed. The previously flat ground was now undulated and filled with water. The heavy rain had created countless large deep round craters of approximately 5 m in diameter which were now pools filled with water. In between the pools of water, there where small elevations of ground for the trees.

I was very aware of the crystal clear, clean air and very bright blue clear sky. The colours of were extremely vivid. Everything looked crisp, clear and clean, which is so typical after a cleansing downpour of rain.

I was so amazed and it seems that I was telling and describing all of this to that other person. I went off to fetch my camera to take a picture of this most incredible and completely wrecked and altered landscape.

However, no sooner did I get back to the window with my camera, the sky had changed outside. It was no longer the crisp blue sky after the rain. It was like heavy night had broken, casting a dark and ominous shadow over the entire land, which still had the large round water filled pools. It had become so dark, the sky was almost black, that I no longer could take a photograph and I was annoyed with myself not taking a picture of it immediately.

As I looked up at the dark, almost black sky, I noticed that it had extended inside the house, so, with the ceiling having vanished, there was no distinction between the sky outside and inside. It was uniformly one dark almost black sky.

I was amazed. As I kept on looking up, I was all of a sudden aware that the sky, a huge plate-sheet like flat layer, was slowly and slightly moving to and fro. Also I became aware of some openings. Through those openings I could see several more layers, one more layer that was almost as dark as the lowest, which was also slowly moving and shifting, which also had some openings. In between those dark layers and above them were glass crystal clear and entirely transparent layers which had the texture of gel, jelly, which did not move or shift but were totally alive and vibrant.

At one point I could see through several openings within the dark layers and saw the most brilliantly bright, sun drenched blue sky, glistening in its bright radiance.

I was then made aware that in those transparent, gel-like, layers angels were very busy tearing up the dark sky layers to create the openings. More and more openings slowly appeared in those heavy shifting and moving dark layers.

Again, I seemed to be the observer and narrator to that other person who seemed either unaware or dumb to it all. I kept saying to that person, “Look up and see”. Then I woke up.

I do not seem to have the full revelation of that dream yet (most is rather obvious), so I am asking anyone with prophetic dream interpretation to offer some suggestions, please.

****

As mentioned above, I sense that this dream is not a personal dream, nor meant for a particular body such as a church or ministry, but beyond to the Body of Christ.

So far, this is what I am gettings: When God does the outpouring stunning work and cleansing the atmosphere of our mind, understanding and surroundings, and His revelations of His truths make our familiar pretty landscape of understanding unrecognisable, we need to be ready to capture that, straight away, and not lose sight or walk away from it, as the enemy will come quickly to cast a dark shadow over it, especially the shadow of doubt. Never the less, the pools of water remain, as that is the work of the Holy Spirit, all the enemy can do is overshadow it with a seemingly impenetrable ‘lid’.

However, all we need to do is “look up and see”, fix our gaze on Him and see the salvation, the deliverance of the Lord, and watch the ministering spirits – the angels – busy reopening the clear view of His shining Glory. More to come as He graciously reveals.

His dreamer,

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Angelika Regina Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

To read more articles and personal diary posts go to The Journey Of Intimacy Blog

This morning many of us woke up to the news of Jill’s passing into Glory. Phone calls, text messages, and emails resulted, plus a plethora of expressions surfaced on Facebook.

Various comments I heard, such as, tragedies like Jill’s and Michal Ann Goll’s passing would severely knock people’s faith, and put into question this whole thing about healing and raising the death. Lots of young believers who were told that God heals, if only they believed, would be shaken.

Next,  assumptions were buzzing around. Was it Jill’s time to go? Had Jill finished her assignment and just taken home? Who was responsible for the death … God, the devil, unrepented sin, or any other fruitless speculations? Why would something like that happen to someone who was a pillar in the Body of Christ? I mean, Jill and Michael Ann were so intensely close and intimate with the Lord. They were strategic to the End-Time moves of God, mobilising and encouraging His Bride to press in deeper into His presence, totally abandoned to the dance of love and intimacy with the Holy Spirit.

Why?

I personally believe it is futile to try and understand all the why’s we are facing. One day, when we all are in Glory, we will have a clear understanding. Meanwhile, God is good all the time, and we are challenged to adore Him in abandoned worship and trust, even in our pain and grieving.

Once we’ve cried our tears and rejoice over their life, it’s time to refocus.

There is an interesting situation in the Book of Joshua:

“AFTER THE death of Moses the servant of the Lord, the Lord said to Joshua son of Nun, Moses’ minister,  “Moses My servant is dead. So now arise [take his place], go over this Jordan, you and all this people, into the land which I am giving to them, the Israelites.” ” (Joshua 1:1-2  Amplified Bible).

What a statement by God, “Moses My servant is dead”, as if Joshua did not know! After all Joshua and the Children of Israel had been grieving the loss of their leader.

I believe God made a statement of closure. After we have gone through our time of bewilderment and sorrow, it’s time to rise up and pick up the rich legacy and inheritance left for us to pursue and contend for greater glory.

It’s time to go over our Jordan into our land which He has given us.

Jill has now joined the Cloud of Witnesses; we must press in and run with the mantle she left behind as an inheritance for us.

The baton is handed over to whosoever will grab it and run with it.

There is no longer one Jill, but thousands of Jills who will pick up that mantel of fiery passion, unflinching abandonment and trust in our Lord, thrusting deeper into His heart, His intimacy, His Glory.
No, not thousands of Jill clones, but those who pick up the intensity of the Glory fire, the unrelenting burning quest for greater intimcay with Holy Spirit   mapped onto our own assignment and unique purpose.

Jill was a world changer, un-intimidated by the demands of ‘men’. She cared only about one thing to love the Lord her God with all her heart, to love well those she was assigned to, and to do the will of the Father with great joy.

I experienced Jill several times here in London, but that was enough to impact my life. Her fierce love and passion for the Lord was a fire that she ignited in the hearts of many.

Her love filled command-question still ring in my ears: ‘Will you be a carrier of His presence?’

Let us pick up a great legacy and a vast inheritance now left for us to run where Jill has left off. She has finished her race; the baton is handed to us.

What is it about Jill that is burnt in my heart forever? It’s her passion for true intimacy with her best friend Holy Spirit – and ablility to challenge and ignite that passion in others.

It is the childlikeness in her approach to the things of the Kingdom. (Matthew 18: 3 “And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”).

“Do you want to play?” was her question.

In childlike purity, she had fun, loved to laugh, never took herself too seriously, yes, she enjoyed life like a kid.

She loved the arts and easily saw metaphors and prophetic allegories for Kingdom applications in movies, such as “Hook” …. take flying lessons!

In all the fun and intimacy, she also saw the wild, ferocious unpredictableness of God. ‘Aslan is not a tame Lion!’ (C.S. Lewis). God cannot be contained, He is God!

She was relational, a deep feeler, lover of people. To her it was all about friendship, compassion, humility.

A political spirit was far from her. ‘Let God make a way, was her motto. She understood Holy Spirit etiquette and prophetic protocol.

In a man’s world, as a single woman, she moved with the feminine gracefulness, wisdom, and prophetic strategy of an Esther. She honoured men, but called women forth to contend for God’s higher purposes in their lives.

She was a catalyst and igniter of passion, relentlessly asking the question to whoever listened to her: “Do you want more of Him? What you have is good, but do you want more?”

Will we sit back and say, “Ahh, what a tremendous loss for the Body of Christ that we do not have Jill any longer with us”? or do we dare to get an even deeper understanding of the inheritance and potential left to us, appropriate this unique heritage to our own assignment, running with even greater determination and say, “Thank you Jill, you loved well, your fire continues to burn in increasing measure!”

In loving memory,

Geli

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more? Please visit my other website “Feminine Renaissance.com” .

God bless!

_________________________________

© Copyright Geli Heimann – Journey Of Intimacy, 2008. All Rights Reserved

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE OR BLOG POST IN YOUR NEWSLETTER, EZINE OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete blurb with it:

The Journey Of Intimacy – Geli Heimann BSc( Hons), MSc BPsych, is a NLP Practitioner, Business Psychologist and Psychosexual Educator, based on Positive Psychology, Mind Technologies and Christ-Centred Spirituality – an Invitation to Hope, Healing, Growth, Joy and Bliss.

Rev. Heimann combines Christ-Centred Spirituality with Positive Psychology to assist couples or individuals seeking her advice to discover their unique personal inner strengths, build their faith, wellness, well-being, and happiness: mentally, emotionally, sexually and spiritually, to facilitate growth, and learn skills to build positive emotions, optimism and resilience while decreasing unhelpful thinking, behaviours and emotions.

Part 1 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 2 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 3 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 4 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 5 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 6 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 7 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 8 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 9 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

Part 10 of 10 – Jill Austin – Sword of the Spirit

—

The following  scenes from the film “Hook” (1991) will ONLY make sense If you’ve watched Jill Austin’s message above.

As mentioned above, one of Jill’s keys in the approach to the things of the Kingdom and life was her childlikeness. ( Matthew 18: 3 “And he said: “And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”).

Do you want to play? Do you know how to have fun? Do you want to fly? Or have you become too grown-up, too encumbered by life’s pain and hardships? Has the intensity of ministry and growing up in life snuffed out your joy, happiness and childlikeness? Have you lost your wildness in God and the andventure in the Holy Spirit?

Ignite or re-ignite that passion! Rekindle that childlike fun and play. Be outrageous in your love for Him and learn to fly out of  the intimacy and joy with Him.

– Hold that Happy Thought

and fly!

“Fruitfulness comes out of Rest; Warfare comes out of Romance”

A rather powerful statement by Bill Johnson!

Can we afford not to be in the stillness of a deeply loving romance with Jesus or our Heavenly Father? Can we afford not to soak in the fresh oil of His precious Holy Spirit? I think not! Especially if we need healing on every level of our being, facing fierce spiritual or natural warfare, and want to soar from Glory to Glory …

OUT OF INTIMACY WITH HIM DESTROY THE WORKS OF THE DEVIL!

How?

One of the Reasons: BEING STILL, basking in His presence, soaking in His essence, His goodness, His love, that’s the very place where He reveals to you His hidden strategy war plan and which specific weapons to use …

…. another reason: His healing oil is richly available in the intimate loving presence with Him. Undealt with wounds attract *flies* … a wounded soldier often creates more problems, and is certainly not effective!

Draw Near

“Intimacy with God begins when we radically pursue Him with our whole heart. King David wrote, “When You said, ‘Seek My face,’ my heart said to You, ‘Your face, O Lord, I shall seek’”(Psalm 27:8). God invites us in James 4:8 to “Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.”

God is saying to us, “Seek my face! Draw near!” Our hearts are crying out, “YES!” But our flesh is screaming “NO!” The sad part is our flesh usually wins. We’d much rather run around in a frenzy busy, busy, busy doing stuff to master or solve our problem, firing every gun in our arsenal, per chance it’ll hit the enemy. Shouting and screaming machine gun volleys of fire prayer. But like in any warefare it is smarter to get His strategic battle plan. It would be foolish to fire from the best available high spec tanks, when an air-stike is needed. Only He knows the entire battlefield.

We are instructed in Psalm 46:10 to “Be still, and know that I am God.” The wording “be still” literally means to cease from striving. It means to let go and relax, to turn down the volume of the world and listen to the quiet whisper of God. It’s getting still and coming into a place of rest. It means soaking in His Presence. The result is that you will know He is God.

The word “know” is literally an experiential knowledge of God. It’s not being still and knowing about God. It’s being still and knowing God experientially. You will experience God. You will know the Presence of God.

As we focus our heart, spirit, soul, mind, and body (the whole person) on His manifest Presence, we become oblivious to the natural physical world around us.

The key is where your focus is— on the things of God or on things of this world.

Bible reading and prayer is not enough. We must take time alone with Him, not asking for anything but more of Him, more of His fullness, more of His presence in our everyday lives.

God releases power through us as we dwell in intimacy with Him. The natural outworking of His Presence is miracles.

How to Soak in God’s Presence

How do we soak? We soak like a sponge. Put a dry sponge in a bucket of water and slowly the water permeates the sponge. This is the same as soaking in God’s presence. The more we soak, the more we become filled with His Spirit.

I’m often asked, “What do you do in your time of seeking His presence?” I don’t have a set formula. In my life, it varies from time to time, but the basic components are as follows:

First, I go into a private room, lock the door, and get on the floor before the Lord. It doesn’t matter whether you sit or lie down. What’s most important is the attitude of your heart.
Second, I repent of any sin in my life and I receive God’s forgiveness.
Third, I worship the Lord in both my native language (English) and in the language of the Holy Spirit.
Fourth, I do the vital prayer of Romans 6:13 that has transformed my life: “…present yourselves to God as being alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.”
Fifth, I begin to recall experiences with the Lord (i.e., healings, miracles, provision) where He has manifested Himself in wonderful ways. This creates more of an expectancy and awareness of His Presence as I relive these times.

I tell the Lord: “God, I want more of You, more of Your Presence, more of Your fullness in my life. Fill me with more of You.” I may repeat this statement many times as I wait on the Lord and focus on Him.

Then, I get quiet and that’s when I begin to hear His voice. Many times, I begin to have visions and supernatural experiences.

The key here is learning to wait in solitude. I cannot overemphasize the importance of waiting on the Lord until I experience His manifest Presence daily. I don’t come out of that private room until I have experienced His Presence.

During our soaking times, we position ourselves to receive impressions, nudges, quiet whispers, pictures, angelic visitations, and supernatural revelations. Here is a partial list of what to expect:

Dreams (Job 33:14-16, Gen. 28:10-16)
Visions (Dan 7:1-3,9, Acts 16:9-10)
Trances (Acts 10:9-17, 11:5)
Out of body experiences (2 Cor. 12:2-4)
Angelic visitations (Luke 1:57,11-17, Acts 12:7-10)
Being transported in the Spirit (Acts 8:39-40)

Experiencing the true intimate Presence of the living God will radically change your life. People describe His manifest Presence in different ways. To some, it is heat, electricity, or shaking. To others, it is lightness, peace, or weeping.

Experiencing the manifest presence is not the goal but the gateway to the supernatural realm. It’s the beginning. We go into the spirit realm where we can see Him, hear His voice, walk with Him, and be empowered by Him.

Isaiah 64:4 says God “acts for the one who waits for Him.” The Amplified version states, “God…who works and shows Himself active on behalf of him who earnestly waits for Him.” He’s waiting on us to wait on Him.

The Cumulative Effect

Sometimes we may feel our soaking time has been unproductive. We ask, “Is it worth it?” because we see no immediate change or benefit. I realized some time ago that there is a cumulative effect that takes place when I spend time in the manifest Presence of the Lord.

From this cumulative effect, God is making a deposit into my inner most being. As I begin to give out, that anointing flows out of the deposit He had been making all along.

We must learn to come quietly into His Presence just wanting more of Him in our lives. We need to “soak in His Presence,” extracting more of His fullness into those places where we are barren. The cumulative effect of spending time with the Lord will produce an increased anointing in your life. The release of that anointing will serve as a springboard to a life of miracles.

The apostle John offers believers a mind-boggling statement in 1 John 4:17 (NASB) “…as He is, so also are we in this world.”

The implication of this verse is clear—believers should be like Him. That is next to impossible without spending quality time in His manifest Presence. We will never even understand His compassionate nature for a lost and wounded humanity without regular, daily times with Him.

Conclusion

Intimacy with God is the simple means by which we access living in the miraculous. Spending time in His manifest Presence is the discipline we must develop to access all that God has for us. And, the cumulative effect is what happens in our anointing (or gifting) to function in healing or any of the supernatural.

God’s timing has come for greater works to be accomplished among His people. Press in for more of God’s Presence in your own life!”
– Gary Oates

What Is “Soaking”?

During previous revivals people referred to it as “waiting on the Lord” or “tarrying” as they lingered expecting God’s revival blessings. Although “soaking” includes waiting on the Lord, in this present move of the Spirit it means much more than that. To “soak” in God’s presence is to rest in His love rather than to “strive” in prayer. As the person receiving a touch from God begins to connect with the reality of the Holy Spirit’s presence, he often responds by falling or simply lying on the floor. As he rests expectantly in God’s presence, often the Holy Spirit hovers over the person to reveal more of God’s love and to renew and repair areas of a person’s life.

As the believer soaks in God’s presence, the Lord takes control and begins to draw his attention to God’s word either in the scriptures or through internal audible impressions or pictures he sees in his mind’s eye.

Why Do I Need To Soak?

There is a deep need in every one of us to be close to God. Experiencing God is something to be sought after and not avoided. While we base our theology on God’s Word, our experiences with God make it all come alive. The Bible is a book of experiences of men and women of God throughout history, whose lives were changed through divine encounter. Your life will be changed as well as you encounter Him.

How Do I Soak?

Although you don’t have to lie down, you may sit in a chair or lie on your bed, or somewhere in the nature alone with Him; the main thing is to be in a safe place so you can be vulnerable. Set your affection on Jesus.

I like to soak while listening to intimate worship music with meaningful words that quiet my soul and help me draw near to God. As you reflect on the cross and all that Jesus has lovingly purchased for you, begin confessing your sins to Him and longing to be close to Him. After a few moments, you will become aware of the Holy Spirit’s unseen presence. People experience Him in many ways: a weight upon your body, an electric tingling upon your hands or face, or a warm sensation of love going through your heart which connects you to Him.

This is how you grow to love anyone, by a series of several encounters that bond you together. It is not only a rational process; your heart must be engaged. Experiencing God’s presence is what will cause you to love the Lord with all your heart and soul. (Matthew 22:37) Humble yourself before Him. Give all your worries and cares to the Lord talking to Him about them. Pray a prayer like this. “Lord Jesus, I invite You to come and search my heart. Come close and let me know Your love.” Let worship rise up inside you and give yourself to the Lord. If you become distracted, then re-focus on Jesus. Remind yourself why you are soaking and listen to the worship music.

Can I Trust That It Is The Holy Spirit Working?

Yes you can. Remember, everything we receive from God we receive by faith. Faith must be positive and focused on God. (Not negative and fearful, focused on the enemy.) Jesus said in Luke 11:11- 13, “If a son asks for bread from any father among you, will he give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will he give him a serpent instead of a fish? Or if he asks for an egg, will he offer him a scorpion? If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” The key is intimacy. It is not a program to be run and managed, but a relationship to be maintained,

How Long Do I Continue Soaking?

It usually takes me fifteen minutes to quiet the business of life and enter into rest. But Jesus is the Lord of the Sabbath, and He wants you to enter into His rest. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy and peace, so we need to take quality time with Him. You cannot force or hurry this. The idea is not to “get” something but to “be” with someone. Take time just to be with Him; to love Him and let Him love you. If you fall asleep, that’s OK. If you are interrupted, you can always come back for more. You will know when your time is finished. You will feel a satisfaction in your heart and a release to go and get on with life.

Occasionally people can become quite emotional during soaking prayer. God may want to touch deep places in the heart. There are often areas of past wounding where we are very reluctant to go. That is often the very place that the Lord wants you to revisit so that He can bring freedom and healing to areas of fear and pain. It is helpful to have friends and even experienced ministry people in the room so they can love you through this and help reassure you to go ahead in faith in order to, so as to bring closure to these areas.

Is “Soaking” In The Bible?

Here’s some of what the Bible has to say. (NKJV) Psalm 23:1-3 — “The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside the still waters. He restores my soul…” Psalm 131:2 — “Surely I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with his mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.” Psalm 4:4 — “Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.” Psalm 37:7 — “Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him.” Matthew 11:28-30 — “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.”

Hebrews 4:9-11 — “There remains therefore a rest for the people of God. For he who has entered His rest has himself also ceased from his works as God did from His. Let us therefore be diligent to enter that rest.” Isaiah 40:29-31 — “He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”

Psalm 27:14 — “Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart. Wait, I say, on the Lord!” Proverbs 1:33 — “But whoever listens to Me will dwell safely, and will be secure, without fear of evil.” Luke 10:39 — “And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word.” Hosea 2:14 — “Therefore, behold, I will allure her. I will bring her into the wilderness and speak comfort to her.”

Soaking in God’s Presence (excerpt from the Soaking step by step guide)

How to Soak

• Find a comfortable place to lie down. Allow the busyness of your thoughts to quieten down (don’t fight them).
• Invite the Holy Spirit to soak you in His presence. Pray and surrender yourself o the Holy Spirit – mind, body, and soul.
• Focus on the Lord’s presence within you. Rest in faith, believing He is working in you.
• Take as much time as you can (try to give yourself at least 20 minutes to start to relax and begin to receive.)
• Get up refreshed and full of the Holy Spirit. Watch as God changes you and the world around you

How do you know if you need to soak?

• If you are spiritually dry, soaking can revitalize your spirit.
• If you long to move more powerfully in the gifts of the Spirit, soaking can help you hear God more clearly.
• If you are looking for fresh vision and direction in your life, soaking can bring it.
• If you are hurting inside, soaking can ease the pain
• If you are about to start something new and need the Lord’s strengthening, soaking can refresh you.
• If you are searching for an answer to some problem/situation, soaking can elp you find the way.
• If you carry responsibilities, soaking can lift your burden.
• If you are trapped by habitual sin, soaking can empower you to break free.
• If you are having relational difficulties, soaking can give you new resources of grace, patience and love.
• If you simply want to have more intimacy in your love for your heavenly Father, soaking can take you deeper.

The Other Half of the Conversation

Jesus says, “Ask and you will receive”. We are very good at the asking part…but how about the ‘receiving’? If we are the ones who are doing all the talking, it’s a pretty one-way conversation. Soaking is the listening part of our conversation with Him. It’s laying aside time to lie down and listen to Him.

Just Relax

One of the main barriers to encountering God is that we are simply trying too hard. God’s top tip to us is “just relax”. In Psalm 46:10, He put it this way, “Be still and know that I am God”. (Note: this is also Bethesda’s scripture ‘motto’.) Literally translated this means, “Cease striving and know that I am God”. The way to know God is through peace and stillness.

Human Beings (not, human doings)

At first we may have an internal Mary/Martha struggle. We feel like Martha that we should be “doing” something. But this is Mary time. Martha got caught up in the busyness of serving Jesus, Mary got caught up in Him. Soaking is not about how much we can accomplish by our own efforts. It’s about God’s action in us.

Abide in the Vine

Intimacy with God is the key to to fruitfulness in every area of our lives. As we become more aware of His presence in us…so do other people. As we become more affected by His presence in us…so do those around us. By taking time in the secret place with God, we start to walk by spirit in everyday life. We find that rather than striving to achieve things for God, He is building His kingdom through us. “Not by might, not by power, but by His Spirit.”

Joyfully,

Did you find this post inspiring, informative, or interesting? Would you like to read more on this subject? Please let me know.

Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment, I find it such joy to read encouraging and loving words!

God bless!