The Joyful Parent

HomeschoolBlogger.com Community

2005-07-13T08:25:00.000-04:00

I urge everyone who is even possibly interested in homeschooling to check out a new blogging site for homeschoolers. There is a wealth of information to be found there, mainly from a Christian perspective.

My blog there is at www.HomeschoolBlogger.com/victoriacarrington. Come by soon and say hello!

I am a Soccer Mom!

2005-06-24T21:47:00.000-04:00

Well, sort of. Chase just finished his very first, week-long soccer camp. What fun it was to watch him and the other 3- to 5-year old kids attempting to master the sport of soccer. From figuring out which way they were to run with the ball to remembering not to pick the ball up, watching how they did not play by the rules was as fun as watching a more formal soccer game.

Chase has had a ball making new friends and they usually play together at the playground after the camp. He gets pretty wiped out from soccer and sleeps well at night as a result. Alyssa was pretty agreeable and pleasant and not hardly fussy while waiting for her brother to finish playing. I bought a small ball with us that she plays with on the grass then she eats a snack and before you know it, it is time for us to leave.

I have enjoyed chatting with the other moms. Overall, it has been a fun week with terrific weather to top it all off.

Soccer moms of the world look out- here I come!

Wait a minute, there is a problem. We do not own a minivan. Oh well. I guess my soccer mom status is on hold for now.

Church Picninc Photos

2005-06-08T15:57:00.000-04:00

Check out these pictures of summer fun at my homeschool mom blog.

Can you tell how much I love summer?

More Summer Fun

2005-06-03T05:18:00.000-04:00

I just love to watch the kids having such a ball, especially Chase. We have had a fun time the past few weeks with lots of great kid activities for Chase. He has been so excited just to have the chance to play outside in the sunshine! The winters seem so long around here. Even if it is cool in the morning, he insists on wearing shorts and a short-sleeved shirt because "It's summertime Mommy!"

Our church, New Song Church, had its church picnic on Memorial Day and we all had a great time. Sam's parents and one of my sisters joined us. I had a chance to catch up with some homeschool moms that I had not talked to and they were full of encouragement and good advice. Sam took a lot of terrific pictures and had fun chatting about digital photography with some of the guys. Chase ran so much and played so hard that it was difficult getting him to eat or go to the bathroom.

Alyssa was the little darling of the picnic and the little girls delighted in picking her up and hugging her and she of course enjoyed her favorite past time. She loves to get dirty playing in dirt or sand only to come to me and ask me to wipe her hands off. Such a funny girl!

These kids personalities are just blossoming daily and I love to see them unfold.

We Went to the Fair!

2005-05-21T21:52:00.000-04:00

We call it the Orange Jubilee and we had a great time. I love to watch my little ones laughing, playing and enjoying life. Of course, they ate too much junk food and Alyssa got pretty tired out and over-excited but a good time was had by all. I ran into some old friends and was blessed by someone I did not know who gave us some free tickets for the rides.

It was a perfect sun-kissed day here in Northeast Ohio and I am glad to be alive. I thank God for my wonderful family and the wonderful blessings he has bestowed upon us.

Journey to Motherhood Part 4

2005-05-20T13:10:00.000-04:00

My struggles to obey God in the matters of my vocation in life reminded me of the Biblical story of Sarah, Abraham's wife, and her efforts to produce an heir for her husband. God had promised to fulfill that desire of her heart. But could she just patiently wait for him to do so? Could she wait for God, he who had promised to be faithful? No. She had to take matters into her own hands and and have Abraham impregnate her maid instead. Her actions led to birth of Ishmael but Ishmael was not the heir that God intended. Sarah ended up with less than God's perfect plan for her life because she acted outside of God's timing. I was in danger of creating my own Ishmael as I waited for God to create a family for me.

I just praise God that before I stepped out and married the wrong man or even worse decided to have children out-of-wedlock, God stopped me long enough for me to put him in charge.

Approximately 1 month after my submission to God's will, I met my husband-to-be. Within one year we were married and within 2 years we had given birth to our first child, a son. I felt fulfilled beyond anything I could have imagined. I only get a slight twinge of regret when I think of how long I spent searching for something that was so easy to find with God's help. If only I had long ago let the Lord be my light and his word a lamp to my feet. Of course, I know that all things come together for good for those who love the Lord, even those things that the enemy may have meant for harm.

My regret never lasts long. Instead, I dedicate part of my life to sharing my story with younger women, many of whom have deep, hidden desires to "just" be a wife and mother but they feel too ashamed and confused to admit it. I validate their feelings and encourage them to seek the Lord as they plan their futures. I am thrilled when I see young women walking confidently into God's purposes for their lives.

Journey to Motherhood Part 3

2005-05-20T13:07:00.000-04:00

This post continued from Journey to Motherhood Part 2 here. Read Journey to Motherhood Part 1 here.

I knew it was God's will for me to start a family. The very important missing piece, however, was a husband. I prayed and prayed for God to send me the "perfect husband". Nothing happened. I prayed some more for God to send me the man of my dreams, my knight in shining armor. Still no results. (well, no one appropriate anyway).

I became more assertive. I let everyone know that I was looking. I went on blind dates. I even tried the personals! With every date, I felt I was moving further and further away from finding a suitable marriage partner.

God seemed silent. "How could you set me up like this!" I cried out to God. He had flamed my fires of desire for starting a family and was encouraging me to become a wife and mother. How could he refuse to send me a husband? Disappointed and dejected, I finally did exactly what God had been waiting for me to do: I gave up and gave it to all to him. I fully surrendered all of my dreams of my idea of a perfect husband to him. I really completely gave up. I prayed "God, I have no idea what to do or where to go. Do what you will with me and my relationships. My worldly efforts have failed. You take over now."

God spoke into my heart that I had it all wrong. I had been focused on finding the husband who met all of my needs. I had completely ignored the fact that I was to provide something to my future husband as well. I had not even considered taking the time to be sure I was the woman that would make a ma a good wife. I was only focused on finding a good husband to supply my needs. God wanted to send me a husband and children not just for my happiness but for my spiritual growth in Christ.

My prayers changed. I prayed "Forget all the requirements I was looking for in a husband. I trust you Lord. You choose him and I will follow. Just give me the wisdom to recognize him when he comes and make me a good wife and mother. Send me a family that will challenge me to grow."

Journey to Motherhood- Part 2

2005-05-16T10:41:00.000-04:00

I had a hard time accepting what God was trying to tell me. His message for me to embrace distinctly feminine roles was in direct opposition to the values that I held in my heart. I took feminist women's studies courses in college. I knew that it was taboo for a woman to think of her role as wife and mother as being important. In fact, most of my training was an attempt to ensure that I would not be "stuck" in such menial roles. I was taught that a woman had to know herself, live for herself only and reject all societal and religious notions of what a woman should resemble.

"But wait a minute here", I found myself saying. I had done all the right things and I still did not feel so great. Single, with no decent prospects and working up to 100 hours per week completing my medical training, I felt frustrated with my life. Professionally, I was accomplishing so much. That was supposed to be my fulfillment. Why was I still so miserable? Could it be possible that God was right, I stupidly wondered. Did I really need to become a wife and mother in order to be fulfilled?

I began to pray as I had not done regularly for some time. I prayed for God to show me what roles he wanted me to fulfill. I prayed that I would reduce so that he could become more in me. I prayed that I might submit myself to his will so that I might be led to the perfect place where he wanted me to bloom. Was I to remain single and childless or perhaps adopt? Was I to pursue a religious vocation such as becoming a nun? (Yes, I was serious about that- if it was in his will). After an intense period of silence, I began to feel a sense of peace. I still did not have an answer, but I did have a sense of peace. Once I relaxed and stopped trying to figure everything out, I felt that I had received my answer.

I was indeed being called to the roles of mother and wife. Okay, God, I hear you now and I accept what you are saying. There was only one thing still missing- a husband! Now how is God going to make this miracle happen, I wondered.

Mommy Wars

2005-05-16T10:40:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I wonder if the emphasis on Mommy Wars is overplayed by the media. I have met some stay-at-home moms that can not stand working moms and vice versa but that seems to be the exception.

I know many more stay-at-home moms that are willing to help a working mom with babysitting in a pinch and working moms who applaud the decision of moms who stay home.

What have your experiences been?

Journey to Motherhood- Part 1

2005-05-14T10:42:00.000-04:00

I have had in on my heart to write about my experiences of becoming a wife and mother and how those experiences altered my relationship with God and were affected by my relationship with God. After writing out an extended updated version a few days ago, I felt unsure about posting it for 2 reasons: 1.I thought it was too long and 2.I was not sure that anyone would really want to read it. After all it is my very personal story, probably not very controversial or exciting.

But, I have felt the urging to post it. I have ignored it until today. Kim over at AHA commented that she liked my blog but she wished I would say more about my personal homeschool. I have been feeling more like sharing more of that as well but I feel my current life might be better presented against the backdrop of my former life.

So, here goes...

I found out the other day that a young person I know, a college graduate in her early twenties, was pregnant. She was somewhat hesitant to tell me as she was not planning this pregnancy because she does not feel ready for a baby. I started to remember how I was when I was in my twenties. I was so much like many of the young women I meet today. I was scared of the restrictions and losses that would accompany motherhood. I put it off. "I've got more important things to do right now-school, career, making money. Starting a family can wait." I reasoned. I did not consider any other way.

Yet at the same time, I spent my adult years searching. I was searching for peace, fulfillment, purpose and happiness. This quest occupied much of my time outside of my training and career. Underwhelmed by my church experiences after high school, I had become a sidelined Catholic, a fairly common occurrence. So to the New Age bookstores I fled, chasing after the latest, greatest fad that would fill me with what was missing.

You know what was missing? It was not Yoga or Gregorian chants. It was not creative visualization or Native American drumming. It was not wind chimes or deep breathing. The answer came as a shock to me. No, what was missing was the very thing I had learned was taboo for a modern woman to admit longing for- a commitment to serve those outside of myself by fulfilling the womanly roles of wife and mother that God designed me to excel in achieving.

What? Find fulfillment in service? Become happy by becoming a wife and mother? I was incredulous! I began finding my way back to the God of my childhood in my quest for clarity on this issue and the Truth I had been seeking. My Father in Heaven, who had never left me said "Yes my child. It is true what you have discovered. Now you know your true destiny."

Read more in my next post next time.

My New Blog

2005-05-10T00:44:00.000-04:00

I have started a new blog at www.HomeschoolMomTips.blogspot.com My posts over there discuss issues in parenting and education with a focus on Christian homeschooling and other topics that may of be of interest to Christian families.

My husband and I have also launched a shop filled with homeschool apparel and accessories at The Homeschool Mom Store.

Soon, we will be launching a Christian products online store as well.

Meanwhile, Alyssa continues to teethe and Chase continues to want to stay up late.

Come by and check out my other site for news on daycares, kids and the Internet and abstinence education among other topics.

For you freelance writer mamas, I also have links to a market looking for writers (AssociatedContent.com) and a book review blog looking for reviewers.

I have "met" some great moms through my Homeschool Mom Tips blog so even if you are not homeschooling, come on by and visit.

I will still be updating Joyful Parent but not as often as I used to while we are getting our stores up and running.

It is good to be back.

Little Green Peas

2005-04-25T10:41:00.000-04:00

Little green peas brightly contrast the beige carpet. Shiny credit cards peek out among the socks in the drawer. A carton of sour cream hides among the fruits and vegetables in the refrigerator vegetable crisper. Life seems to be a juxtaposition of unlikely objects in my role as mother of an adventurous, curious toddler. The daily life of a toddler is a series of the struggles highlighting opposing pairings. From sucking their thumbs and wanting to be held like a little baby to demanding to dress themselves, toddler behavior is a study of opposites. The mother’s life too reflects the often uneasy pairing of the polished professional woman with the sometimes frazzled, uncertain or exasperated mother of a young child. There is I believe a lesson to be learned in these contrasts. Life is enriched by the unexpected, popping up in refreshing ways, keeping us alert and reminding us not to sit too comfortably in one place for too long. A spatula hiding under the bed? Well, why not?

Hallelujah!

2005-04-19T01:06:00.000-04:00

I am beginning my career as a freelance writer in earnest now. After going through a bit of a dry spell, God has been blessing my efforts lately. Although a book proposal was turned down by Zondervan, I had an article accepted by Christian Parenting Today and received payment for an article that I wrote for Westchester Parent. God is good.

And if all that was not good enough, I found a pretty cool set-up at Associated Content in which they will pay freelancers to write articles to be featured on various websites.

They just accepted 5 of my articles, Praise God. I could use some cash in my PayPal account about right now.

All you homeschool moms (and dads) who are freelance writers (real or aspiring) should check them out.

And if you mention that I sent you and you actually start writing for them, I could get $20.

Hope this is helpful.

Another Beautiful Day

2005-04-18T23:03:00.000-04:00

Sunny and warm. These are two words we have not heard together in a while up here in Ohio. It is so nice to sit in the sun again. I love running around the backyard with Chase and watching Alyssa enjoy the birds.

Speaking of Alyssa, unfortunately, she has a superior memory for the traumatic. I was preheating the oven and the fumes from the oven cleaner must have set off the smoke detector because it started screeching "FIRE, FIRE" and beeping very loudly (as I hope it will do in a real fire).

Alyssa was so frightened by this that she did not want to come into the dining room where the noisy contraption had been (my husband temporarily took it down so I could finish cooking).

Otherwise, Alyssa's memory seems pretty poor. I must say several times each day "Did not Mommy tell you we don't put small pieces of tissue in our ears, we don't put our fingers in our nose or we don't pinch people." For some reason, she can not seem to remember any of these basic instructions.

Oh well. For the next little while, I will just take down the detector while I am baking until the fumes burn off. My poor baby.

Like Mother, Like Daughter

2005-04-16T17:10:00.000-04:00

A future freelance writer.

Praying for Guidance

2005-04-16T15:58:00.000-04:00

I find that it is easy for me to start worrying and forget to pray. As a mom, I have so much to worry about. Yet, I also have so much to enjoy. I just want to stay balanced and keep all issues in their proper perspective. I am now deciding what curriculum to use in Chase's homeschooling next year. I know that I would like to try an online curriculum but there are a few to choose from. Of course, as my husband and others have said, I can certainly change if I try one and it is not a good fit for me or Chase. So why am I acting like this is such a life or death decision? The bottom line is, I can only make the best decision for right now based on the information that I have and the guidance of the Holy Spirit. I have noticed though that when I forget to pray, it is much more difficult to discern what the Holy Spirit is trying to tell me.

So why don't I just make my life easier and "pray without ceasing"?

I do not know but I am working on it.

The Good With the Not-as-Good

2005-04-11T18:51:00.000-04:00

The runny nose, the constipation, the late night awakenings and the picky eating are all a part of my life as mom.

Today is a day of fatigue so it is easy to focus on the negative. But it is also sunny (although a little chilly) and life is so full of rich rewards.

Chase is in a play, play, play mode as I think we all have been since the time changed and it stays lighter into the late evening (hence part of my fatigue). We have not done much structured homeschooling the past few days but I am starting to appreciate the beauty of unschooling. Even in his play mode, Chase has asked me to spell out words for him to write on the board and he stops me in the middle of my work frequently to ask me to listen while he counts to 100 or to ask me "How does God make...."

A master storyteller, Chase makes up fantastic stories about Bibleman (and his toddler sidekick Biblegirl) and recounts stories of Jesus healing the multitudes.

Life is good because God is good and He is good all the time!

I Am a Real Mom

2005-04-09T13:38:00.000-04:00

A little essay that I wrote:

Are You a Real Mom?
By Victoria Carrington, M.D.

Forget stay-at-home mom vs. working outside the home mom. I have created a completely biased test of who rules the moms and who the real moms are. Are you ready? Let the mud-slinging begin.

Real moms:
• Are never dressed, showered and made up before 9 am.
• Never eat a hot meal. By the time they get everyone else fed, the food is cold.
• Never use the bathroom without an audience, no matter the time of month. Her feminine products are found around the house being used to create interesting construction projects.
• Never wear clothing that is not decorated with some sign of motherhood. Spit-up, baby food, leaking breast milk or modeling clay are all possibilities.
• Pretend that they are deaf when they hear “she pinched me” or “he frowned at me”. Unless there are blood-curdling screams or actual blood, the real mom knows not to get involved.
• Forget how to make macaroni cheese on the stove or in the conventional oven. They only use the microwave packets.
• Have kids who believe that homemade cookies are always found in the refrigerator section of the grocery store.
• Never dust. Real moms know that the best way to keep furniture dust-free is to let the kids climb on it
• Never wax the kitchen floor. Real moms know the only wax that belongs on a floor is from that of a stepped-on crayon.
• Visit the bakery section of the grocery store to bribe her crew with cookies before the shopping begins. She is careful to get enough sweet stuff such that their mouths are full for the entire trip.
• Never have an uninterrupted phone conversation
• Never have an uninterrupted conversation period unless they are far, far away from their children.
• Never have conversations without saying the word “potty” or other words associated with private, sometimes embarrassing bodily functions.
• Have learned not to be embarrassed by bodily functions.
• Know that no matter what happens, these crazy days will all be a memory one day and she will end up longing for these days to return.
• Try not to take things too seriously because things could be a lot worse.

They Love Each Other So Much

2005-04-08T14:14:00.000-04:00

I did not know how wonderful having two would be. Honestly, I did not know that I would like having two children. I loved Chase so much that it was hard for me to imagine loving another child as much.

But something wonderful happened after Alyssa was born. Not only did I not love Chase any less but I seemed to love him even more! Of course, I also loved my new little one as well. Furthermore, my love has expanded to include this new unit, the two of them, as one.

It is hard to explain the feelings that well up inside of me when I watch them play, laugh or share together. It is a contented, peaceful feeling filled with hope for the future.

Of course they fight sometimes. But underlying every scuffle is a heartfelt love that is wonderful to watch.

Up Again!

2005-04-07T20:58:00.000-04:00

Alyssa had a hard time sleeping again. Turns out, she is fighting a runny nose which always bothers her. That on top of the teething is just too much for her to sleep comfortably with. Daddy got up with her last night again, giving me a chance to get some much needed sleep.

Why do I still feel tired?

Mommy Confessions-Again

2005-04-06T09:50:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been having so much fun playing together as a family that you lost track of time and stayed up way too late? Or worse yet, did you ever realize that it was getting late and still let everyone stay up and have fun?

A combination of the two factors happened yesterday in our home. After a freak snowstorm over the weekend, we were so excited yesterday for the temperatures in the seventies. I really did not complain too much about the snow because Chase and I took advantage of the late snowfall to make one last snowman. I am glad that we enjoyed the snow because the balmy summertime temperatures arrived yesterday.

Chase and Alyssa were so cute together, holding hands chasing birds in the backyard. Then Alyssa was pushing her lawnmower and Chase his vintage GI Joe sandloader (Dad's old toy)as I sat reflecting on what a blessed life I lead. It is not perfect but I have so much to be grateful for everyday.

May I never forget that. Maybe I can get everyone to take a nap today.

Little Miss Clean Hands

2005-04-06T09:35:00.000-04:00

Have you ever seen a little girl who likes to play in mud but hates mud on her hands? And what about a little girl who likes to play in the sand but does not like to get her hands sandy?

Well, that's my little girl! Finally it was nice outside (after Saturday's snowstorm) so we all spent much time outdoors yesterday. Alyssa seemed to like the mud at first but then she started fussing and wanting me to wipe her hands after each swipe in the mud.

Then, it was to the sandbox to play with brother. I had been dreading the time that she would want to join her brother in the sandbox. After all, a 1-year old does not understand that sand is not for eating, blowing or throwing. What's a mother to do? She was adamant and after all sand play is a good tactile activity for her. The main problem turned out to be her hands again.

She enjoyed running her hands through the sand but constantly wanted me to wipe the sand off her hands. Let me tell you it is not easy to keep sand off a child's hand when she is playing in a sandbox!

Overall, we had fun and stayed outside way too late (see next post). We even found one last little patch of snow and my husband made what he optimistically called the "last snowball of the season."

I am so happy that spring has graced us with her presence.

Thanks and praise to God for the changing of the seasons!

Mommy Confessions #3

2005-04-05T14:19:00.000-04:00

Okay, maybe I should get the Terrible Mother of the Year Award but Alyssa and her "I'm going to cut 8 teeth at one time" routine is getting old. I know that I should only feel sorry for her (and God knows, I do feel for her!)and not for myself. But I also feel for me and my lack of sleep and that makes me feel bad.

I should be the selfless mother, devoted to my poor child's comfort but finally at 3am after more than 1 hour of being awake, I had to hand off the child to her Daddy.

I do feel better now. The crew even let me sleep in until a little before 9am. Nice.

I feel up to the challenge of tonight now. Let's see what happens.

The Happy Child

2005-04-03T22:09:00.000-04:00

Don't you love watching your child's eyes light up with unbridled laughter as they play? Chase got his Dad's old electric train set from Grandma and Grandpa today and boy was he excited. So much enjoyment was had by our whole family as we watched the Lionel train go around and around, puffing out steam and making realistic noises. The track even sparks (is it supposed to do that or is there a short in it?) and the trailer car carried Chase's Matchbox cars.

And Alyssa? Well, she was content to watch from afar. Surprising. I thought she might grab at it.

Ahh, the treasures to be found in Grandma and Grandpa's attic.

Mommy Confessions #2: Dessert is a Right?

2005-03-31T06:35:00.000-05:00

I can see it now. Minions of tiny people, looking much more mature than their preschool age would suggest, marching in the streets. The calm and quiet of the of the idyllic suburban residential area is punctuated with cries of "WE WANT DESSERT! WE WANT DESERT!" Carrying placards with their demands scribbled in crayons, fists in the air, these kids know what they want. And what they want is dessert, not just tonight but every night. They want it unconditionally, not tied to any previous behavior. The leader of this crusade is my son, the champion of the dessert loving crew. I am reminded of the song "You gotta fight for the right to paaarty!"

Yes it is true. I have made my son accustomed to a before bed sweet treat and threats of withholding it often becomes a weapon in the fight to get Chase in bed on time.

I grew up loving dessert. It was my favorite meal of the day! (I did not eat much as I was a picky eater). But dessert, no problem. I could always find room in my stomach for dessert. I remember that many nights my mother would give us an extra treat after dessert, a Necco wafer candy. Anybody else remember the the sweet, pastel-colored discs that melted in your mouth?

The other night, caught up in the bedtime routine, I forgot to get Chase dessert. I have learned that even if he forgets, I better remind him or else he will use forgotten dessert as a reason (as if he needs more) to leave the bed after I have tucked him in.

Well, I forgot. I tucked Chase in and went to put to put little Missy asleep in her room. All of a sudden, I heard such a wailing from Chase's room! Had he fallen out of the bed that fast? Worse yet, was someone trying to abduct him? (it is hard for me to get those horrible news stories out of my head) So I went running in there to find Chase sitting up in his bed. Thank God he is OK, I thought. "What on earth is the matter?" Did he hurt somewhere, was he afraid of something I started to wonder. "My dessert! You forgot my dessert!"

This kid can not be serious! He is really this upset because of dessert?

Help! I've created a monster!