The Juice of the Cow

The definition of love

2011-12-17T21:22:00.001-05:00

First take a man. Ask him to get in a car at 5:45 am on a Saturday with three kids. Drive 100 miles. For breakfast he gets to eat at the restaurant he hates most in the world. Then place him in a public recreation area for seven hours. Sounds like love, huh?

One of the nicest things you can do for me is to show up when I run. Thanks honey.

And with that my third goal of the year was achieved. Yahoo! I had set three goals for myself this year. I wanted to compete in my first sprint triathlon in May, set a new personal best in August at the Providence Half Marathon and finish my first 26.2 on December 10 in the Roxbury Marathon.

It was a gorgeous course with some rugged hills. I enjoyed it so much. It was a peaceful day where I could just let my mind go. I was surprised at how well my body could keep up. It was a day I won't forget.

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Providence Rock and Roll Half Marathon

2011-08-21T07:13:00.001-04:00

On August 7, I accomplished last year's New Year's Resolution. I guess good things come to those who wait. I beat my half marathon personal best by six minutes taking almost thirty seconds off of every mile.

My husband, children, father and stepmother were all there to witness it. Even in the pouring rain. And oh did it pour. I actually enjoyed the rain because I was cool at what could have been the hottest race on my calendar.

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TEN WAYS TO BE FRUGAL

2011-08-18T11:21:00.001-04:00

TEN WAYS TO BE FRUGAL

Over the years I have collected a growing list of ways to save money, ways to not spend money and ways to spend less money. Lately, I’ve had discussions with friends regarding couponing, environmentalism and just plain being careful with our financial resources. Yesterday, during one of these discussions the light bulb popped on that perhaps I should put a list together of some of the ways I try to accomplish as much as possible with as little money as possible, at my house. So here goes:
1. I don’t buy paper towels. I have a stack of old dishtowels, old washcloths, and microfiber cloths that get washed and re-used. At a roll used per week I estimate that this item saves me at least $52 a year on things that get thrown away.
2. Pay attention to the drugstore ads. I match up my coupons with the ads from my local Rite Aid, CVS and Walgreens. If it’s on sale and I have a coupon, it might very well be free. I get all of my toiletry items this way. Toothpaste, toothbrushes, razors, shaving cream, shampoo, soap and deodorant have all been free this past year. I wrote it all down for about six months and discovered I could save my family over $500 that isn’t coming out of my grocery budget for these items.
3. Birthday parties are great fun for the kids and can be a tremendous waster of your family’s money. Go several times a year to Wal-Mart and Target and grab several 80% off toys from the clearance aisle to put in your birthday party stash. Not only will this save you when you get the invitation the day before the party but it will also cut down on how much spending you do for these numerous gifts. My three children go to at least five parties each per year. If I went and bought even a very simple gift each time one of these parties happened it could easily cost me $15-$25 for each party. Those stockpiles of clearance items average $3 - $5 a gift (items originally $15-$25). No one at the party knows you were smart and bought it on clearance. This saves $300 a year.
4. Re-usable water bottles are an investment worth making. If you think they are too expensive you really aren’t paying attention. The Nalgene web site has a 50% day every year when you can get even the super fancy bottles for less than $5 each. One of my local discount stores, Ocean State Job Lot, also had the largest quart size bottles for $2.50 this year. If you are buying 24 disposable bottles of water a week at the grocery store even at a sale price of $3.99 then you are losing over $200 a year and putting tons of extra plastic into your local landfill. I bought 4 new Nalgene bottles this year at $2.50 a bottle. I spent $10 and saved $190.
5. Free shipping codes are everywhere. If you know you will be purchasing an item online then take five minutes to search for a free shipping code before you buy. If shipping typically costs between $5-$10 an item then it is completely worth your time to look for a code first.
6. Don’t pay for things you can do yourself. Mow your own lawn, trim your own bushes, clean your own house, do your own laundry. Don’t be lazy and you will save yourself big bucks. If you are paying $30 a week to have your lawn mowed, $200 a year for the trimming, $35 a week for cleaning and $25 a week in laundry then you just wasted $4000 last year. Wouldn’t you rather work a little harder at home and get to go on vacation and have fun? I know I would.
7. Before you buy something, ask your friends. Most of your friends will be happy to pass down clothes, toys, and children’s items just to get them out of their house. If you need size 8 pants for your ten year old then ask your friends. This recently happened to me and I was rewarded by two friends saying that they had plenty of outgrown size 8 pants to share. When you do get solid hand me downs then wash them immediately and organize them by size, season and gender so when you get to that size you know exactly what you have. Because of this strategy, I typically buy very few clothes for my children. You could easily spend $500 per child at the mall for new clothes each year. What a waste. My family has what they need (and then some) and we buy very little each year. I estimate that I spend probably $100 or less each year on each child for clothing. That’s a $1200 savings each year and all I have to do is spend a few minutes asking my friends if they have anything to share.
8. Pay attention to your bank account. Free checking still exists and there is no reason to pay atm fees or other extra charges. These items can accumulate quickly and have no value in your budget. Because I was paying attention this last year I saved my family from two sets of bank charges equaling $45 because a retailer charged me incorrectly. The error was fixed but I can’t help but wonder at the money that could be wasted if I wasn’t watching so carefully. If you go to the out of network atm and use it once a week for a year and the fee is $3 then you just wasted $156. Wouldn’t you rather use that money to have some fun with your family?
9. Gas is a necessary evil in most of our lives. Because this is a repetitive item in your budget it should be easy to develop a strategy of which station to frequent in your area. Most of us have many choices along our regular routes to work, practices, lessons and church. Pay attention to which stations have the best prices and plan a few minutes to get your gas when you are going by them anyway. Don’t go too far out of town to get your gas. You’ll waste your savings on driving there. The gas in the town I work in is typically ten cents a gallon more expensive than the town I live in. Therefore if I buy 10 gallons of gas a week every week for a year that’s $52 I’ve saved by buying my gas near home instead of near work.
10. Filing rebates on items may seem like a pain and a serious waste of time and stamps. In the last five months, I’ve taken the time to file those rebates on items we buy anyway. My reward: $125. Not only is that worth a few stamps but it helps me buy the things that I need for my household that never seem to go on sale.

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Beware the Jellyfish

2011-06-17T04:20:00.002-04:00

For nine months, I have been training to compete in my first triathlon. This race consists of 1/2 mile open water swim, 14.4 mile bike ride and a 3.1 mile run.

The first calamity happened during the swim where a jellyfish hitched a ride on the back of my neck.

The second calamity was when I jumped off my bike to pee and landed myself into a big patch of briars. Smart, indeed. Hence the blood dripping from my legs at the finish.

These annoyances aside, I thought the race went well for the first time for me competing in a race that involved more than running.

Many thanks to my husband and children who crewed for me that day. All of your efforts on my behalf surely did not go unnoticed.

Also, I'm grateful to Team Marathon Bar for believing in me! My gear is so cool.

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Food Porn

2011-05-28T21:57:00.001-04:00

I was celebrating tonight. My daughter and her softball team won first place in their league.

I poured myself a glass of wine from the bottle my husband graciously bought me tonight and went to the kitchen.

And made this...

Like this...

And oh man was it good.

I love homemade pasta. It is so wonderful.

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Snickers Marathon

2011-05-21T05:58:00.001-04:00

In an exciting twist of fate, I was recently contacted by Snickers Marathon Bars to represent their brand of protein bars.

So for this season I will be wearing their gear and have lots of their yummy bars to share.

Ethically this was a pretty easy choice since their bar is already my favorite one.

I'm pretty psyched to be promoting their brand as a Snickers Marathon Ambassador!

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Free At Last

2011-04-05T21:35:00.000-04:00

"Thank God Almighty. I'm Free At Last." -Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King

The joy at which my soul shouts these words in the car today was unmistakeable. The arthritis doctor has released me from all medical restrictions and I am free to run as much as I please.

Kind woman that she is, she paid me today one of the nicest compliments I think I've ever received. She said, "I have patients who have no children, and ones who don't work and they can't find the time to exercise and improve their own health. You, on the other hand, take complete responsibility for your own care. You own it and you have from the moment you first walked into my office."

Bam. Wow! What a compliment to receive. It has been several years now since my arthritis was diagnosed. I have fought valiantly to get my weight down and my muscle tone up. Today was like frosting on the cake.

So tomorrow. It's a brand new day.

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The Children Are Nestled All Snug in Their Beds

2011-03-27T07:09:00.001-04:00

The choice of sleeping arrangements is a hot topic amongst young mothers. Vicki Iovine, who writes "The Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" explains it this way. She says there are those who choose to keep their bed for themselves and their spouse. The second choice being the family bed where everyone in the house sleeps together. And the "Chef's Surprise" meaning parents accommodate whatever happens on any given night and don't fully sign up in either camp.

My husband and I tried valiantly at first to keep everyone in their own beds. Then we tried Chef's Surprise. Now we choose the family bed. The irony of this is that when we lived in a tiny two bedroom cottage we did separate spaces and now that we live in a home twice that size we sleep all together.

It is a pain to climb over bodies in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. It is lovely, however, to cuddle with children who want to held. It is also very convenient for the soothing of nightmares and for nursing (although we have passed that stage here).

I'm sure there will come a day when they go back to their own rooms and sleep by themselves. But until then I will hold them close and enjoy the quaint sounds of teeth grinding and tiny snoring. It's pretty toasty in my bed these days.

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Food is Love

2011-02-19T21:10:00.000-05:00

My handsome husband always says this phrase. I never used to really understand what he meant.

I think I finally got the hint. This is what I did for him for Valentine's Day.

True love and homemade cannolli.

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She's Going the Distance

2011-01-15T05:40:00.001-05:00

It is with a bit of sadness that I must inform you that this past year's New Year's Resolution has not been achieved.

I'm not used to giving up. Not reaching my goals. Not going the distance.

You will recall that this past year's goal was to run the Hartford Half Marathon and beat my personal best time.

Unfortunately, after coming through a strong season of training last winter I was banned from running in April for six long months. At the time the Hartford was run this past year, I wasn't cleared for even a mile. Ugh. It was disappointing. It hurt my soul to fail.

After being cleared to run in November but limited to 3 miles, I trained for the Thanksgiving 5K Race and logged a personal best there.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this year's goals. Trying to decide where I'm headed.

Part of me thinks it would be bold to throw a new goal out there and part of me says to keep it a secret. I guess disappointment from this past year is making me shy.

Homemade Applesauce

2010-11-14T19:46:00.000-05:00

After reading an entry in Jenn Sutherland's The Whole Kitchen blog I was inspired. I looked up several different recipes and melded them together.

I used ten apples. Peeled and cored. One of my helpers learned to peel.

I added half a cup of water, some cinnamon and a bit of sugar.

Tossed it in my crockpot for about four hours on low.

I ate some for lunch without mashing and was dying to throw it in pie crust. It would have made a beautiful pie. Last step was mashing with a fork and serving hot with a nice pork chop and mashed potatoes. Yum!

Thanks for the inspiration, Jenn Sutherland at http://thewholekitchen.blogspot.com/

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The Guilt of Being Someone’s Mother

2010-11-08T08:23:00.001-05:00

Sometimes the guilt overwhelms and consumes me. This weekend when my husband and I went to my daughter’s cheerleading competition he said, “They did well, but they would’ve done better if they had a better coach.” I heard, “You were the head cheerleader at an NCAA college, why didn’t you coach our daughter’s squad so they could win the competition.” And I felt inside, so so guilty that I had said no to this very item. Having two other children and an opposite work schedule from my husband I didn’t have a choice to say yes. As I said to the person who had asked me to coach, “I can’t watch my own two toddler boys and coach a team of 15 or 20 pre-teen girls at the same time.” Not possible. Still, the moment rankles. I know that what he said wasn’t directed at me. But it’s so hard not to hear it that way.

More and more of my life I seem to be having these guilt-ridden moments. If only I stayed home with them then I wouldn’t have to make these awful choices. Part of me says that I don’t have a choice. We live in an expensive area and although we bought a very reasonable home in the not-so-fancy part of town our mortgage is still substantial. We couldn’t afford to own our home if I didn’t work. Would we be just as happy in some basement rental with mom at home? I read a lot of blogs these days about being fiscally and financially sound, frugal living, environmental choices, child rearing, couponing, etc. Many of the women and men who write these blogs have made the choice to stay home and live with less than ideal housing situations. I am thrilled to read their articles and even more thrilled when it saves my own family more money. I wonder though if their choices are permeating my shield.
Every time I have to say “no” to my children’s school or to coaching or to something related to one of their activities it pounds on my heart. It makes the guilt sink deeper into my soul.

At work, I feel like what I do makes a difference in other people’s lives. In the past two years, I have helped twelve families rehabilitate their homes through the no interest loan program I run. I have helped the Town I work for utilize their long term capital budgeting to make prudent choices on behalf of the community of over thirty thousand people. Over the fifteen years of my professional career, I have helped permit facilities for the elderly, day care homes and centers, home occupations, in-law apartments and more. The people that these facilities affect are important too, aren’t they?
Still, the guilt rankles. Today, I’m having a hard time putting it away…

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A Jam Packed Weekend

2010-09-12T13:22:00.001-04:00

This weekend's itinerary included the usual cleaning, laundry, cheerleading practice, one football game and a realization.

The freezer was holding four pounds of strawberries and two pounds of blueberries. My plan for Wednesday (my garbage pick up) was to completely empty my freezer and refrigerator.

For weeks we have been making minimal purchases at the grocery and doing our best to empty out the space.

Therefore, I realized, it was jam making weekend.

It amazes me how four pounds of strawberries and six cups of sugar only makes four pints of strawberry jam.

This is the blueberry. Which I'm thinking is going to make a wicked spread this winter for the much loved pancakes.

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The Ocean House

2010-09-04T15:25:00.001-04:00

Recently, on a day when my husband was at work and two of my three children were engaged in their own activities, I found myself alone with my youngest son. A strange anomaly indeed.

My husband pointed out what a rare occurrence this was and told me to take him for a fancy lunch at the Ocean House.

This is not only a special place in our town but to our family as well. The night we got married my husband and I spent not in our hotel room as you'd expect but walking on the beach and dancing to Johnny and the East Coast Rockers at the Ocean House.

Because of this gorgeous beginning, I've always had a special place in my heart for this particular piece of real estate.

Lunch was a fabulous success. My date was charming, polite, and even insisted on paying the bill (with his father's credit card, of course).

He later told the tale to his grandmother and strangely what caught his fancy was the elegantly attired people playing croquet on the lawn and the "man who parked mommy's car." I guess my five year old had never seen valet parking before. Pretty cute.

Thanks to my husband for the unexpected treat. It was appreciated.

One Moment in Time

2010-08-20T21:42:00.001-04:00

For quite some time now I've had a running list of ideas that I wanted to write about. One of them I titled, "One moment in time." The concept was to write about the different people in my life and how each of them taught me something in particular.

First, I will write about Kerry. My partner in crime. My best friend who died last month at the ripe young age of 40 and whom I am struggling to let go.

I named one of my children for her. It was my ploy to God that I would be as good a mother as she was. Kerry adopted four children. Each of them has special challenges. She not only embraced these difficulties but she met them with a great sense of humor. She was, by far, the funniest person I've ever known.

She exemplified the phrase "Live your life out loud."

In this age of the Internet, her facebook page still exists. Her email is still accessible. I still have her listed as my 'favorite' and she is.

What she taught me was how deep love can be and how much how you love someone matters.

Her love for her children lives on. The very last thing she gave them was a Daddy. Go Kerry!

Wherever you are up there, I miss you with all my heart and I won't ever be the same without you.

I know it's been raining so much because God is up there wetting himself listening to her wisecracks.

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Dill Pickle Extravaganza

2010-08-19T00:25:00.001-04:00

After an abundant crop of cucumbers blessed my home this year...

I decided to make pickles...

Lots and lots of pickles...

Yum!

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Transitions

2010-07-03T21:33:00.001-04:00

Today was the day my best friend was getting married. She died June 15. It was a cruel twist of fate. After years of struggling in her personal life she had finally found her one true love. It would've been such fun today to see her realize her own piece of happiness in the world.

I talked to her every night after our collective seven children went to bed. We shared our frustrations, our disappointments and our fears. It was a safe place where no topic was taboo. I miss her so completely. I am terribly lonely for her company. She could make me laugh at the end of my worst day. It was truly a gift to have her in my life. I am grateful.

At this same moment another transition is happening in my world. My mentor is retiring this Summer. The person at work who showed me how to navigate the shark infested government waters that I swim in every day. The wisdom and common sense of this person will also be sorely missed.

I am feeling rather lost right now. My own little world feels like a jell-o bowl turned upside down. Quivering, sticky and generally messy.

I know that my Mother's favorite saying, "When one door closes another one opens," has always been true in the past and therefore I declare that I am truly looking forward to the next chapter because whatever God has in store must be pretty damn good.

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Red Velvet and Dark Chocolate

2010-06-28T22:07:00.000-04:00

My oldest child's spectacular birthday is tomorrow. Hence the reason I am up at 9:30 pm baking. I am making two cakes. A red velvet and a dark chocolate fudge both with fresh homemade whipped cream made the way my Grammy taught me.

This is my sample for tasting tonight.

Happy Birthday Baby!

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Cosmic Forces

2010-06-21T21:36:00.001-04:00

My best friend died on Tuesday. And as a mutual friend of ours said to describe it, "Cosmic Forces are at ultimate suck level today." I wholeheartedly agree.

She was 40.

When I talked to a nurse friend yesterday she told me that some stars shine so brightly that they don't last very long. I thought it was an apt description.

I spent the last few minutes of every night talking to my friend. She made everything right in my world. Whatever had gone wrong was made better by Kerry. I won't ever forget how much she meant to me.

Kerry Halva Cash 1969-2010

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The Gateway Drug to Gardening

2010-06-08T20:36:00.001-04:00

Recently I heard a friend quote a special from NPR that called tomatoes the "Gateway drug to gardening." So true.

I planted my garden tonight and over half of the space was devoted to tomatoes.

I planted three different tomatoes,

carrots, melon,

cucumbers,

eggplant,

cauliflower, and peas.

There will also be a watermelon and pumpkin patch planted this weekend.

I can't wait to tell you the stories of this years' seeds. Reading the seed catalogs in January while it is snowing always gives me hope for the next summer of joy.

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Friday Night Food Porn

2010-05-28T20:03:00.001-04:00

Somewhere in the depths of my brain a huge spark flickered today and started to burn brightly. I was reading a recipe for homemade Graham crackers. This was something to add to my recipe bookmarks to try. I make lovely marshmallow creme. Lately, I've been dreaming of nutella...

And thus we have "Friday Night Food Porn."

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Parenting with Love and Magic

2010-05-25T20:45:00.001-04:00

One of the grandpas in our family always does the magic trick with the coin that you suddenly find behind the child's ear.

Today I caught my husband doing the same magic trick with our youngest.

It reminded me of how much love and patience goes into this parenting gig.

Muddy shoes tromping through the house, tired kids who can't walk another step, towels thrown in the laundry because it is too hard to hang them up. These everyday frustrations build up over time. It is hard not to feel upset that someone is spending every minute wrecking what you spend every minute cleaning.

This weekend I watched my husband pull off one of his great daddy moments. We had gone for a bike ride on a local bike path. He had two of our kids in the buggy behind his bike. The third was riding on his own. We had reached the turnaround point and it looked as though the rain was coming fast. He put all three kids into the buggy, strapped the child's bike with plastic wire ties to the back of the buggy and took off. He was now pulling 135 pounds behind him. And he was moving quickly for the parking lot.

I followed and was amazed. Strength (all 3 by bike), ingenuity (who carries wire ties in their pockets?) and well (blushing) the view wasn't bad either. The nice part of following is that it gives you time to admire the leader.

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One More Reason to Get Married

2010-05-18T20:31:00.001-04:00

One night at the dinner table Daddy says to the kids, "Isn't this great? I make dinner and your Mother does the dishes."

To which our daughter replied, "I am never getting married because I don't ever want to do the dishes." We laughed.

Today, we were in a fabulous homemade ice cream shop getting our cones after a long sunny bike ride. The clerk handed me my husband's cone while he was paying her. I started licking the cone. My daughter said, "Why are you eating Daddy's ice cream?" To which I replied, "That's one of the nice things about being married."

She looked very thoughtful for a moment. I gave her another more serious example of something kind her Dad had done for me the last time I was in the hospital. It sparked a thoughtful look.

I wonder when she'll realize that being married isn't just about who does the dishes.

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Date Ride

2010-05-17T20:57:00.001-04:00

We bought new bikes. Probably crazy. Definitely necessary. I feel so guilty for spending money on something for fun. But that's what we are having. We went for a date ride this weekend. An easy 13 mile ride on a nearby bike path. We got to talk, uninterrupted. I was very tired when we got home but I still managed to bake, sew and scrub.

I hope we'll go again soon!

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One's Measure of Success

2010-05-12T21:37:00.000-04:00

A friend and colleague of mine told me today that he knew he had an enviable life. He is an attorney and works hard. If one's measure of success is money or travel then maybe he is right.

But in my head (not out loud) I was thinking, "you're kidding, right?" My face turned to my car which contains my three car seats that hold the three loves of my life. I can't imagine thinking of a complete version of my life without them. I realized too late that my colleague was telling me in an awkward way how envious he is of my life. Being a grown-up is strange.

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