The Kingdom of Ken

June Bug

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 22:53:00 +0000

Face to face with a June Bug. Kind of reminds me of a tank.

New Jeans Idea

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 03:39:00 +0000

The Working Man's Jeans

I have been doing a bit of work lately where I have had to get on my knees on a hard floor. I kept wishing I had remembered to bring knee pads. By the end of the day, my knees had patches where the skin had burnt off from rubbing against the material of my jeans as I moved around. Those burns as well as the thoroughly bruised knees made me realize how good my idea was. The Working Mans Jeans.

The Working Man's Jeans are jeans that have a pocket sewn on the inside of the knees of each leg. The Jeans will come with a soft rubber pad that fits neatly inside of each pocket. This way, when the person wearing these jeans has to get on his/her knees to work on a floor or a low positioned job, their knees will fall safely on a pad. Yet these Jeans will free people up from the annoying and constricting standard knee pads that workers need to put on.

This idea of the Working Mans Jeans will keep a person healthier (less knee problems), be more comfortable than regular knee pads, and look a lot more casual than putting on knee pads. There are a lot of working men out there who can use these!

I know posting my ideas for new inventions can lead to them being stolen. You know what? I will probably never get anywhere with them myself. I have had several ideas in the past. One idea I actually checked into getting it patented. They told me $500 just to do a patent search. To get it patented, developed, sold, it would take thousands of dollars. I have news for you. I don't have a hundred dollars to spend! So my opinion is that if I can never do anything with it anyways, why not put the idea out there and hope someone will use it and play honest with me and cut me in on the money? A small chance of getting rich is sure a lot better than no chance at all.

Splash in Lake

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 04:29:00 +0000

Took a picture of a rock tossed into my Mother's lake. There just seems something peaceful about this photo.

American Flag

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 04:27:00 +0000

Good Ole Glory.

Magic Eyes

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Fri, 06 Aug 2010 04:18:00 +0000

Magic eyes on my cat.

Dragonfly

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 06:38:00 +0000

A Blue Dragonfly in my Mothers garden.

Bee

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 06:32:00 +0000

I took this picture of a bee on the brick wall at the back of my friend's house.

Hey There America - Video

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 04:07:00 +0000

More on a serious note.... I took the song, "Hey There Dalilah" from the Plain White T's and rewrote the lyrics and performed "Hey There America". This song is about how the government parties no longer care about the people who are losing their jobs and going hungry and homeless as they bicker amongst themselves and yet are willing to freely spend money on other countries.

.... And yes, my voice was fixed using Melodyne. :o)

Video - Life Cycle of the Bus

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 03:25:00 +0000

Okay, I know this one is a little perverted in the beginning, but after the opening scene it stays simply weird. I know it is a little off the beaten path in conventional humor, but sometimes that is how my mind works.

Detroit Cowardly Lion - Video

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 23:30:00 +0000

Here is a link to a video my friend and I did, having some fun with the Detroit Lions recent bad seasons. We took a clip from the Wizard of Oz movie and dubbed our own words in. Hope you like it if you haven't seen it already. .... Detroit Cowardly Lion

Zorro in Movies - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:57:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"Look Zorro. When I yell "CUT", I mean to stop. I'm not yelling words of encouragement."

Worm Food - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Sat, 20 Feb 2010 12:55:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"You'll be worm food? What the heck is that supposed to mean?"

Vampire School - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 12:53:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

Vampire Training School

Turkey Fire Tales - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Tue, 16 Feb 2010 12:50:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.
"The old farmer seemed so innocent. Then one Thursday in November of '99, with a weird gleam in his eyes, he reached for the axe."

Standing in Line - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Sun, 14 Feb 2010 12:44:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"I swear! Sometimes I feel like I will be standing in lines until the day I die."

Murphy Spontaneous Combustion - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 12:41:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

And at the worst possible moment, Murphy spontaneously combusted.

Salt on Popcorn - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:37:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"Careful Sam. There's salt on that popcorn."

Not Fleas - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 12:34:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"Simmons, be careful where you step. It seems these aren't fleas as we thought, but are extremely tiny natives."

Night of the Old People - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Sat, 06 Feb 2010 12:31:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"Aaaahhhh... wait, Johnson it's OK. We're safe! They forgot their dentures."

Space Shuttle - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 12:30:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"Left... the hatch button is on the left. No, no, your other left..."

Jump - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 12:24:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

"Everyone yells 'JUMP'. I didn't think he'd really do it."

Murphy Here After - Drawing a Blank

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 20:18:00 +0000

Note: All "Drawing a Blank" cartoons are my own art work and original ideas. The signature of "Sean Myer" is the alias I would use if I am ever published.

Somehow Murphy thought things would be different in the 'Here-After'.

Santa Might Die Tonight

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 02:13:00 +0000

This is another installment of Christmas songs I am rewriting. Yes we are back to fixing my voice. :o) I do not claim to have a good singing voice and in this case it came in handy.

NOTE - Clicking the Title will open a new window to the "Kingdom of Ken" MySpace page where you can play the song. You may have to choose the song as well as wait a moment for the song to start playing.

Santa Might Die Tonight
(To the tune of "Here Comes Santa Claus")

Santa: “Ho Ho Ho, How we doing up there Rudolph?”
Rudolph: “Lose some weight! You’re killing us up here fat ass!”
Santa: “Ho Ho Ho, Son of a bitch, I’m out of scotch! Hey Rudolph there’s a 7-Eleven. Let’s hit it before we pass it.”
Rudolph: “Oh my God! I better be paid double time for this fat man!”

Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus
He’s Going to fast to land
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
He’s pulling on the reins
Santa’s screaming, I must be dreaming
Its one chaotic sight
Forget your stockings and say your prayers
Cause Santa might die tonight

Santa: “Holy mother of Pearl! We’re coming in too steep! Pull it up Rudolph. Pull it up!”
Rudolph: “I think I pulled something. I can’t lift you. I… Aaaahhhhhhh” (Crash)

I saw Santa Claus
I saw Santa Claus
Crash on Christmas eve
I saw the bag that is filled with toys
Being crushed inside the sleigh
Hear those Reindeer breaking legs
Oh What a horrible sight
Jump in bed, cover up your head
Cause Santa might die tonight

Santa: “Rudolph. Are you okay Rudolph? Are you there?”
Rudolph: “Yea, I think I’m gonna live Santa. I’m okay.”
Santa: “ That… that’s good. Because when I get a hold of you, I’m gonna kill you. You little son of a bitch! You ruined my sleigh! You ruined my sleigh you little son of a bitch, I’m gonna kill you! Ohhh, I can really use that scotch.”

I Fell On My Bum

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:49:00 +0000

I Fell On My Bum
(To the tune of "Little Drummer Boy")

Someone help me
Pa rum bum bum bum
I think I sprained something
Pa rum bum bum bum
While I was shoveling
I fell on my bum
I lay here suffering
From pain in my bum
rum bum bum bum
rum bum bum bum

Someone help me
Pa rum bum bum bum
Call 911

Like a baby
Pa rum bum bum bum
I need a band aid too
Pa rum bum bum bum
I think I skinned my knee
Pa rum bum bum bum
I’m really suffering
From pain in my bum
rum bum bum bum
rum bum bum bum

Kiss the boo boo
Pa rum bum bum bum
On my bum

I saw Billy
Pa rum bum bum bum
Mrs Biggleworths kid
Pa rum bum bum bum
He kick me when I was down
Pa rum bum bum bum
I’d like to beat his ass
But I injured my bum
rum bum bum bum
rum bum bum bum

That brat laughed at me
Pa rum bum bum bum
Me and my bum

"Come on Billy, it’s not funny anymore man. I’m in a lot of pain. What are you doing Billy, aw come on, don’t… don’t you throw that snowball Billy. I will kick your ass…" (Thump) "Aw you son of a bitch! You pull one more stunt like that Billy and I’m gonna pull myself over there, throw you over my knee and beat your little… Billy…Billy what are you doing with that shovel… Billy, put that shovel… Billy" (Clank)

Can I Buy You a Drink

noreply@blogger.com (K.J. Ester) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 03:10:00 +0000

This is the 3rd installment of Christmas songs I am rewriting. Unlike the other songs, this one never needed my voice to be enhanced. :o) I do not claim to have a good singing voice and in this case it came in handy.

Warning: This song is a bit sexist at times and has some swearing. If this will offend you, I would advise you to not listen to it.

NOTE - Clicking the Title will open a new window to the "Kingdom of Ken" MySpace page where you can play the song. You may have to choose the song as well as wait a moment for the song to start playing.

Can I Buy You a Drink
(To the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear")

Hey Bartender, give me another drink will ya? I need to knock some of the edge off of me if I’m gonna pick up some of these hot chicks here… oh God, you’re just a coat rack! This is embarrassing! Oohhh, would you look at the jugs on that redhead over there. I gotta have a talk with her.

Said the drunk man to the hot redhead
Can I buy you a drink?
On this Christmas Eve hot redhead
Can I buy you a drink?
A beer, a beer doesn’t this feel right
I bet you’ll get lucky tonight

You know you’re gonna get lucky tonight. (SLAP) What the, hey where you going, aww who needs ya!

Said the drunk man to the cute brunette
Can I buy you a drink?
On this Christmas Eve cute brunette
Can I buy you a drink?
Hot damn, hot damn, you sure are looking fine
You’ll want me if you have some wine
If that look in your eyes is a sign

You’re gonna want (SLAP) Ahh that hurts! I think I met your sister. Is she a redhead?

Said the drunk man to the sexy blond
Can I buy you a drink?
On this Christmas Eve sexy blond
Can I buy you a drink?
A shot, a shot, of bourbon on the rocks
This next line may be a shock
I‘d love to give you a big (SLAP)

Kiss… I wanna give you a kiss! Whats wrong with that? Son of a bitch that hurts!

Said the drunk man to the biker chick
Can I buy you a drink? .... Oh God I’m getting plastered.
On this Christmas Eve biker chick
Can I buy you a drink?
A smile, a smile, I get from you a sigh
As I slide my hand up a thigh
Oh God, I think you’re a guy

I tell you what. You just stay right there. I’m gonna go look around. I don’t know what’s going on, I mean the putting the sausage down my pants thing just isn’t working. I wonder if maybe I shoulda put it i the front. (SNIFF SNIF) Oh God, my hand smells like sweaty balls. I gotta go wash this.