I’m excited (and a little nervous) to be giving my first talk at a TEDx event! The event is being held at the historic Crest Theatre at the Delray Center for the Arts on May 3.

I’m in the closing portion of the program. I speak right before the pro football great, Ricky Williams (I guess I’m his blocking back for the event. I’ll do my best!).

http://www.tedxdelraybeach.com/portfolio/david-j-pollay/

The TEDx bookstore is carrying signed copies of the book and audio book. If you see me, stop me and I’ll add another note to your book. I’ll have the special pen with me!

If you’re just finding out about The Law of the Garbage Truck and my work, welcome! I’m glad you’re here.

Stay in touch…

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@garbagetrucklaw

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All the best,

David

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Hi Everyone,

I’m really excited that The Law of the Garbage Truck is now translated and available in Italian.

We’re up to 12 languages now.

Thanks for all your support.

All the best,

David

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Say “yes” in a new way; it will change your life.

Too often we say “yes” when we really want to say “no.” Someone makes a request of us and we feel pressured to accept it. We face this predicament practically every week, if not every day. It could be any flavor of request:

-          Will you join the committee?

-          Will you serve on the board?

-          Will you lead the project?

-          Will you come to the party?

Invariably, the person making the request is sincere and committed to what they’re doing, and they’re recruiting us because of the value we’ll bring to their initiative. It’s hard to say no when they ask. And if they’re someone who is really persuasive, persistent, or aggressive, it’s even harder to say no. The challenge—no matter how effective or pressure-filled the request—is that we only have so much time and energy.

When I ask the people I coach or the participants in my seminars and speeches how much they enjoy saying no, the answer is always that no one does. So, I teach them how to say yes to their own priorities and projects, rather than put excess energy in their no.

I explain when you say you are not able to join another committee or start another activity, for example, you are saying yes to something else in your life; it could be more time with your family, coaching your children’s sports, exercising, writing your book, or any number of priorities you have. We just have to politely say no because of the other commitments we have (how much we share about these commitments depends on the relationship).

This new way of saying yes relieves us of the heavy burden often associated with having to say no. And while others might be disappointed with our decision, they will respect the clarity of our commitment to what’s important to us.

When we say yes to our lives, we build our confidence to set and follow our own course. We are not tied to the direction others prefer we take.

Good things happen when we say yes to what matters most in our lives.

p.p.s. Thank you to my friend, Cindy Rold, for her insight into the power of saying “yes.”

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There are two aspects of bullying we must consider closely.

Bullies are Garbage Trucks: They have the need to make others feel bad and humiliated.  Something that’s missing in their lives causes them to taunt and harm others—physically or emotionally. They bully in school, at work, at home, in their neighborhood, and online. We must step in and help them give up their Garbage Truck ways: Bullying is never acceptable.

We must also address the other important part of the equation:  the response of the target to the bullying. Targets become Garbage Trucks when they accept the needless criticism and inappropriate behavior of the bullies, internalize and fill up on it all, and then turn around and dump it on others.

When young people take in the vile slung at them and believe what they hear, they give even more life to the bullies barbs, taunts, exclusioning, and rumors. We need to help our children believe in themselves. We need children to have a clear life purpose that equips them with the strength to let the bullies’ hurtful behavior pass by.

Two important notes of caution: First, targets of bullying should be sure to report physical bullying as soon as it happens. There should be no tolerance for physical abuse. Second, students should confide in people they trust when emotional bullying begins.

People should never suffer bullying alone.

Check out David J. Pollay’s other blog for more personal updates.

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Happy Father’s Day to all of our dads!

Thank you for your role in giving us life…without you, we would not be here.

We don’t expect perfection from you; we appreciate the good in you.

And today, we celebrate that.

All the best,

David

p.s. My girls (8 & 9) have challenged my Dad and me (82 & 47) to a tennis match today. Wish us all luck! I’m blessed to have a wonderful family.

I send my best to all my friends, families, and supporters. You’re all great.

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If you’re feeling bad, do not suffer alone.

Reach out to friends and family.

Let their perspectives into your life.

Without listening to others, we ruminate too much.

Stop the negative spin cycle. Stop dumping on yourself.

Ask for and accept love from the important people in your life.

Have a Garbage Free night.

All the best,

David

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I needed to fix something in the house, and I needed help fixing it. I called a company with a good product, service, reputation, and price. The sales representative I talked to was helpful. When I had one question that required a manager’s assistance, the representative transferred me to him.

The manager who picked up the phone wasn’t very friendly. He wasn’t thrilled to answer questions, and his responses were a little curt. That didn’t stop me from asking politely every question on my list. In the end, I was happy with his answers, and I ordered the product and service I needed.

A critical aspect of

The Law of the Garbage Truck is

to distinguish between making judgments and having preferences,

and always focusing on what matters.

I prefer people to be friendly in a business transaction. I see positive human interaction as an opportunity to spread goodwill in the workplace and in the world.

However, not all people who do good work are friendly—no matter their reason. So rather than judge them as “not nice people” or “not good guys,” I focus on their ability to do the job right. I need their help fixing my problems; they are not required to be my friends. Now, if I have two companies to choose from and they’re equal in all measures, I will choose the more friendly one. That’s my preference.

Having preferences is natural. It’s part of being human. Act on them if they’re important to you. However, be sparing in your judgments. You can prefer something—and act on that preference—without judging others too harshly.

This week notice when you start judging people. Recognize when what you’re really expressing is a preference, and refrain from turning it into a judgment. This is what living The Law of the Garbage Truck is all about.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

All the best,

http://www.davidpollay.com/index.html

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I think about this every day:

Don’t protect your comfort.

Expand your comfort zone.

Too many people are in the “hunker down – the economy is terrible” mode.  This is not the time to retreat.  It’s the time to ask more of yourself.

Find ways of giving more to others; look for opportunities to contribute to their well-being.  When you help others, you make the world a better place … and the research confirms you’ll increase your happiness.

I believe deeply that good things cycle around to people who approach life in this abundant way.  In The Law of the Garbage Truck book, I call it contributing to the “Gratitude Cycle.” (pp. 120-129)

We can do it: Let’s expand our comfort zone and achieve more this year.

All the best,

p.s. Happy Thanksgiving to all my friends celebrating in the U.S.

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I was driving in the middle lane.  There were two left lanes for the entrance to the highway. I needed to move into one of them.  I looked in my side-view mirror before turning.  There was just one car coming up in the distance.  I had plenty of room.

As I turned into the lane, I  could see that the driver of the car was now speeding up.  He was bearing down on me fast.

Thankfully, there was another lane to the left, so I started to move into that lane to get out of his way.  But the driver of the other car sped up even faster and turned into the far left lane as I was moving there. When I saw him make his move, I yielded and let him take the far left lane.  Okay, fine.  I know The No Garbage Trucks! Pledge.  So, I said The Pledge in brief: “I do not accept garbage. I do not dump garbage.”

Then, the light turned red, and I stopped. I was six cars back in my lane.  He had only one car in front of him in his lane.  But, rather than pull up ahead, he stopped alongside me.  He was mad about something, and he wanted to get into it with me.  I kept focused on what was important to me, and I did not take his bait.  I followed The Law of the Garbage Truck.

The other driver was a Garbage Truck, and I didn’t need to internalize his frustration and anger.  So I thought to myself, “just smile, wave and wish him well” as we do in The Pledge.

A long twenty seconds passed, and the driver pulled forward.  We never saw each other again, and the world was a better place because we did not escalate a potentially dangerous situation.

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If you don’t want to suffer the negative impact of Garbage Trucks at work, have clear goals.

Garbage at work can emerge when you and your boss are not clear on shared goals.

If you work for a boss who is unclear about their expectations of you, don’t let it turn into emotional garbage that weighs you down (frustration, disappointment, judgment, etc.).

Don’t guess or assume why your manager does not communicate more effectively; that will not help you.  Instead, draft your own goals and present them to your manager at the right time (when they have the time and attention to review them with an open mind).

Be respectful.  Be patient.  And be persistent.  Don’t give up until you are on the same page with your boss about what you must achieve to be successful at work.

Stay connected to The Law of the Garbage Truck movement on Facebook:

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