The Leonard Family

so thankful

2015-09-10T08:13:00.000-04:00

New Charlotte is a church for the city. But, for the Leonard family it is also a church for the family. Over the past five years it has opened doors for our family to serve, provided a place for our family to worship and allowed us to sit under the teaching of the best pastor in the city.

Our youngest child came to know Jesus at New Charlotte. He loves Jesus fiercely. We are thankful for Chris and Michael who early on loved on and poured into our boy.

Our Ellie was baptized in the frigid waters of New Charlotte. She has had the opportunity to spend three amazing weeks at camp kidjam. She loves to serve and we are thankful for the opportunities that New Charlotte has given her to do that.

Clara and Molly both have learned so much from the teaching of Chris. They love the opportunities and doors that have been opened for them at Greenway Park.

Friendships have been forged, memories have been made. There are weeks that I come and Chris' words are like a balm to my soul and there are weeks that I feel so convicted that I can hardly sit still.

We have been ministered to in our darkest nights and we have celebrated our biggest victories.

New Charlotte is our family.

We are grateful for it.

We are proud of it.

We love it.

We celebrate it.

#ckj14

2014-06-21T10:45:00.001-04:00

Camp life is the life for me! The energy, the fun, the worship, the kids...all rolled up into one big fabulous week.
This year, I was filled with so many emotions. Baby girl was experiencing her last year as a camp kidjammer kid and big girl is getting ready to travel and spend the rest of her summer with camp kidjam as an intern! I am completely astounded, grateful and blessed that God would allow our family to experience this is such a big way!
This week at camp, I saw kids worship, kids learn about moving towards God, leaders bonding, kids becoming leaders. I heard kids talking about why they love camp, God, their friends and leaders! I felt little hands slip into mine, countless hugs and God speaking into my heart.
I believe that many hearts were changed and that our 29 campers and 5 leaders each learned something new and experienced God's love and grace this week.
And now, I have the joy of knowing Molly will be experiencing this five more times this summer!
Last year sitting under a tree waiting on our campers, I mentioned to Molly that I thought interning would be fun way to spend her summer. She laughed and kinda rolled her eyes. I prayed. She applied to go to governors school for this summer. I prayed. God began working on her heart, leaning it towards a summer of camp. I prayed. She applied to be a camp intern. I prayed. She got her internship. I prayed. Now, we are a week away from her packing her camp staff shirts and beginning her internship. And you better believe that I am praying. Praying that God will continue to show his favour on her, praying that she will continue to move towards to Him, praying that she will make friendships that will last, praying for
safety and praying that she will be a blessing.
So....there's my jumbled up thoughts on camp!

My Hero

2014-05-02T12:09:00.001-04:00

Sixteen years ago, Beau and I began volunteering with the church youth group. I was so nervous that first night. My stomach was in knots, I was worried the teenagers would hate me, I was frantic that our baby girl couldn't make it through thr hour in the nursery...I was a hot mess. But, on that first night a young girl introduced herself to me and from that moment on, my nervousness left and my heart filled with excitement and anticipation for what God had in store for us.
It was a quick friendship with that teenager, Julie. She and her family became our closest friends. We spent our weekends with her parents playing Rook, laughing and eating. We witnessed so many of Julie's firsts. Boyfriends, proms and graduation just to name a few. We watched in awe as she started nursing school. We sat dumbfounded when she diagnosed Beau with diabetes and was correct...I think she had been in school about three weeks. She was in the room when two of our girls were born, she was the only teenager that ever babysat our girls. We have watched her grow up, spent a weekend in Charleston to be a part of her wedding and have rejoiced with her as she became a mom.
Last night, I got a text with a picture of the sweetest newborn baby boy swaddled in a perfectly blue blanket, the text read our newest addition. See, Julie and her husband have opened up their home, their family and their hearts to be foster parents. Knowing that loving this little one could just be temporary, they still do it, with so much love.
I told her last night she was my hero. I meant it. She is becoming the hands of Christ. She is investing in the least of these. She is loving the way we are called to love. I seriously have a heart overflowing with love, amazement and pride for her.
Julie, you are my real life hero.

Pondered

2013-12-23T13:13:00.001-05:00

Somehow Christmas has come and gone. Between the flu, unexpected travel because of a death, work, school and a birthday...it came. Was I ready? Not really. Was that okay, absolutely!
There were movies to watch, traditions to keep up, everyone's favorite baking to be done, lights to see and devotions to be read! Yet, I was content to be. Content to reflect on what this season is about and be okay to let things go.
And to our family it is about Jesus. Not just about his arrival but about His death. For we know that without his death, we can not have life.
I am thankful this season and every single day, that in our house we have all accepted His perfect gift. A gift that we know it is only by Grace we can receive it. In Luke the scriptures teach us that Mary pondered in her heart all the details, and that's exactly what I want to do every single day.

Eleven!?!

2013-12-18T19:51:00.001-05:00

Be still my heart, how is it even possible that baby girl is turning eleven? The years are rushing by and I am holding on with all my might. It feels like yesterday that we were awaiting her arrival.
Ellie is our tender one, the lover, the little momma. Big brown eyes, an itty bitty frame and enough hair for ten people. She is a server at home, at church and at school. She loves many and is loved back by many. She is a good friend.
She has a temper, saves it until needed...then you better watch out!
She may be slow to anger but her wit is quick. Her comebacks are funny and accurate.
Eleanor is a blessing, we are thankful that the Lord trusted her to us. We pray that God will be her passion always.

Happy Birthday Silas!

2013-11-17T21:22:00.001-05:00

Our smallest is turning eight today. It seems unbelievable. When I think of the past eight years with this special boy, I am overwhelmed with all that he has accomplished. Three months ago, he started second grade and the floodgates opened. I began to feel overwhelmed as we watched Silas quit eating, lose sleep, cry constantly and have panic attacks. We prayed, we called others to pray, we researched, sought counsel and begged God for answers. One night as I was praying, I said "I can't do this, I am not able." And a voice so clear spoke to the depths of my heart and said "my child you were made for this, I called you to be his momma and you will do this."
And in that moment I took a deep breath and plunged forward. Since bringing Silas home, we have seen him come back to life. We have heard him belly laugh, consume more calories than I can count and play hard.
So today, on this day, we celebrate the hurdles that he has crossed. Wishing he wouldn't have to face more, knowing that he will and equipping him with the knowledge of His Savior to help him continue to be an overcomer.
What a joy it is be his momma, happy birthday to the one who sees me through rose colored glasses!

Five years

2013-11-15T08:28:00.001-05:00

Five years ago I traveled home to be by the side of my loved and cherished aunt, Nanny Mary Ann, as she left her earthly home and entered her eternal home. The days that surrounded her homecoming are etched into my mind and I hold tight to them. The smell of her lotion, the feel of her skin and the I love yous that she said.
She was an amazing second momma to me and my heart aches so much for her. When I need momma advice I miss her opinion, which I never ever had to ask for, she just freely gave it. When it's time to make her favorite cake, I miss making it with her. When my mornings are quiet, I miss those long daily talks thst carried me through newborn nights, toddler tantrums, first days of school and the list goes on. I see her in my Clara every.single.day. Clara's passion is so much like Nanny was. Sometimes, I just look at Clara and say, "oh nanny is here for here the day, maybe I should put on a pot of coffee."
I am so thankful for the memories, yet I would be lying if I didn't say the memories break my heart too.
So today as my mind drifts to that hospice room that cold weekend in November, I choose to remember the good. The people who poured into our family and for life changing moments in my heart that happened as I literally watched her take her last breaths and enter into that heavenly place. I will continue to let her legacy live on in our house, so thankful for the way she left her mark on all six of us.

Never say Never

2013-10-14T08:50:00.001-04:00

Not so many years ago, Beau and I had a little one ready to start school. She had been under our feet for five years. We loved it. We really prayed about what her education needed to look like. We felt like the public school was our thing. It broke my heart to leave her that first day of kindergarten. I had never had to do that. Yet, we knew she was where she needed to be. Over the past twelve years we have been blessed with amazing teachers, great experiences and an education that I feel confident in. Not just for Molly but for our all of our girls.
Along the way, God in His infinite wisdom called us to be parents of a bouncing baby boy. A little boy who found his delight in a the dirt pile behind our house and found his fear in leaving it. Normal things like going to church and buying milk became as difficult to accomplish as climbing Mt.Everest. We nurtured him, exposed him to many things and mostly loved him. He was different. Words did not always come easily for him and social settings were scary for him. We did pre school together, my little buddy and me. Silas in one room, me right next door. He struggled on one hand and made huge strides on the other. I will never forget the day his teacher peeked in my room with tears in her eyes and said "I just had to ask Silas to quit talking." We celebrated that our mute little boy had spoken too much!! As we approached kindergarten, we knew it would not be easy. He struggled, we struggled. He was a sad boy at home because his days exhausted him mentally and physically. He persevered. He made progress. He survived! First grade came. We were blessed with a teacher who from day one just got him. He still struggled but he thrived. Then came second grade. From the start he struggled again, he quit eating, couldn't sleep, was getting bullied and the list goes on and on. He was miserable and we were heart broken. So, we brought him home. Something I never ever thought I would do, we were all of a sudden being called to do. Silas is eating, sleeping and laughing. We are learning new things every day. We are praying for his future. Today our calling for Silas is to home school.
We walk a crazy line. We believe that the public school system is a good thing. We feel that our girls needs are being met and that they are where they need to be. But we also believe that for now home school is the right thing for Silas.
We are thankful for those who have prayed us through the past two months. For the notes, emails and texts that have literally carried us through.

Back to School

2013-08-29T15:40:00.001-04:00

It would be amazing to start this post with....what a great start to a new year. But, to be honest we are not quite there yet. We have had schedule changes, lunchbox mishaps, anxiety, hours of homework and tears....yet here it is Thursday and thank you Jesus the week is almost done!
I may have set us up for a tough week when I set the memory verse as:
James 1:2-3
"Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of any kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance."
At least I know we are building up some perseverance around here!
However, in the midst of it all God's grace has abounded. We have had prayers answered, favor given, tons of people praying, hosted community group and even an impromptu dinner with friends.
It's the beginning and we are strapped in and ready for the ride. At some point I may wrap my head around the fact that my littlest in second grade, my baby girl is in her last year at Matthews, I have two in high school driving themselves to school...but for now I am concentrating on surviving!
To those who have prayed for our kiddos this week....thank you and keep praying. Your texts, emails and calls mean the world to all of us!

Mr. T

2013-07-23T17:53:00.001-04:00

Recently, I had the privilege of sitting in a congregation and hearing Reverend John Thrasher deliver his last official sermon. It was a special time and I am so glad I was there.
Mr. T, as I lovingly named him many years ago, is a true man of God. He has stood strong through the years, faithful to his family, friends, church but most importantly to His Heavenly Father.
As a little girl he preached the sermon that prompted me to ask Jesus as my Savior. As a teenager he stood with me in the baptismal waters as I professed my faith before my church. As a young adult he counseled me on marriage and was the pastor who led me in my marriage vows. And as a young mother, he held my firstborn as we dedicated her to the Lord.
If he just did those things in my life, he would be pretty special. Yet that it is just a small part of the role he and his wife played in my life.
He told me bear stories that kept me up at night, took me on huge walks on the trails in Roan mountain (which almost always ended with me on his shoulders), spent most of my childhood Thanksgivings with me and the list could literally go on and on.
In my lifetime I have been fooled and disappointed by people and leaders in the church. Things that have shook me to my core, but Mr T has never let me down. His eyes and heart have always been fixed on the Heavenly Father.
I am thankful to have had him as my pastor. I know that God will continue using him to touch and teach people. Mostly, I am thankful for the part he and his family played in my life. The laughs.. the tears...the adventures.

A grandparent summer

2013-07-18T18:26:00.001-04:00

The grandparents are worn out after all the grandbaby time they have had this summer! From airplane trips to Maryland, mega Lego sets, picnics, parades, sewing lessons and tons of chicken legs the kids have been spoiled rotten!! So thankful for the time they have invested in our kids!! Now let the detox begin....

Camp KidJam 2013

2013-07-08T11:30:00.002-04:00

A few weeks ago we loaded up and headed to Camp KidJam! It was an amazing week on so many levels!

This year, Molly went as a leader and I absolutely loved watching her with the kids. Her excitement, her love for the kids and mostly her love for Jesus was contagious to all of the kids we took. She gave 110% of herself the entire week!

Ellie Kate was a returning KidJam'er and she once again had the time of her life! She loves all things to do with camp. From the cafeteria food to team games to worship...she loves it all! I believe she woke up smiling, smiled all day and went to sleep smiling.

Just like my girls I love all things camp. The experience is something that I am so grateful to be a part of. To be in a room with hundreds of kids worshipping without boundaries touches my heart and brings me to the feet of Jesus so quickly. The way they love each other, the way they play together, the way they laugh together...it just doesn't get any better! This year a highlight for me was my little shadow, Jack. He was faithfully my friend at dinner and large group!

A huge treat this year was that I got to room with my friend, Elizabeth. And I have to admit that we stayed up way too late, giggled a little too much, prayed together and talked about everything from A to Z. What a blessing to able to serve alongside her and for us to be able to have some girl time right in the middle of kid camp!

I have said it before and I pray I have the chance to say it again, but Camp is a life changing week. It is so amazing to go worship, learn and just be with the kids.

In His Hands

2013-07-08T11:13:00.000-04:00

The past few weeks, I have been reminded that In His Hands is the only place I want to be.
I knew it, I believed it, I never doubted it but I have been reminded.

It started when my Dad went through his heart attack. God's hand and movement was so obvious it was like you had a window into Heaven watching Him orchestrating and working a great masterpiece. Every single step God placed people in my parents paths that provided the knowledge, love and support that they needed, sometimes when they didn't even know they needed it!

Then we were on the beach....living the dream. One second Silas was there and the next he was gone. I mean g-o-n-e gone! We searched, the lifeguards searched, the hotel staff searched yet there was no blond hair blue eyed boy to be found. We prayed. It was a desperate, Jesus seeking prayer. I prayed for God's safety to surround our boy and for Him to give us as his parents the grace and strength that we needed to get through that moment. Unknown to us as we were searching, but Silas prayed too. And in his words he stopped and he said "God help me know what to do" and he looked up and a lifeguard was standing there. Silas our selective mutism boy, walked up to a complete stranger and said "sir, I think I'm lost and I need help."
Where did that strength and knowledge come from...it came from the Father.

I am so thankful that we are always in His hands.

He Will Carry Me

2013-07-08T11:10:00.002-04:00

I passed a little turtle last week beginning his long journey across the road. You guessed it...I had to stop and help that little fellow across the road. It took me maybe a minute.
After I got back in the car, I began to think about how easy that was for me. No big deal...a very small detour in my day. But to that turtle...it was huge. He had just begun his little journey across the road...he was obviously getting nowhere fast and who knows...he may not have made it to the other side without my generosity. Yet, when I picked him up, he hissed at me and curled up in his shell. No thank you. No smile. No sigh of relief. He just hissed and hid. I didn't let that stop me...I just walked on.

When I got back in the car, I got to thinking. How often do I do that? When someone tries to give a helping hand. Maybe it's one of the kids, a friend, my husband if I am being honest do it to God too!

It's time for me to accept that helping hand and accept it with a grateful heart!

Take a break!

2013-07-08T11:07:00.000-04:00

We have the great blessing of a three day weekend..with nothing to do! Thank you Jesus!
I love being busy and doing but sometimes I run out of steam and just want to rest and that is exactly what I have done! We have had a very full start to 2013.
We celebrated Cash turning One! It is hard to believe that his first year is here and gone, I have not held him enough, kissed him enough or convinced him that I am #1! He is a wild man and I love to sit back and watch him rip his way through a room...he reminds me so much of another little boy I know! I'm praying he becomes a better traveler and his momma can bring him to North Carolina for a long visit....one that is long enough for me brainwash him into believing that his Auntie can do anything!
Clara and I got to take a quick trip to Charleston with the middle school. There was sightseeing, shopping, boat rides, making new friends and maybe a praline or two involved. It was so much fun and I am so thankful to have gotten to go!
My parents shared their story with their church...what a great blessing it is to hear that story again and again. I love being reminded of how God worked in their life, it is a helpful reminder about how the trials that God brings us through become our greatest triumphs.

Our kids are growing and changing at record speed. Molly's highlight of the day now is going to the mailbox and seeing what college letter awaits here, it is hard for to believe! Clara is still #1 in her own eyes! She is becoming quite the seamstress and loves thinking about, planning and executing all her ideas that she has "pinned"! Ellie Kate is still sweet as pie and learning to play golf. She is our little sunshine and brings joy to all! Silas is doing first grade amazingly! He still loves all things lego and dirt!!

Life is speeding by and we are holding on tight!

Happy Mother's Day!

2013-05-13T09:34:00.000-04:00

A day to celebrate being a Mom. Does it get any better than that? I wanted a day of rest...no church, no laundry, no to do lists...and I got it! (I also asked for no conflict...and pretty much got that too)
At first I felt a little guilty for asking for that....so much to do, so many commitments...but then I got over it!! I enjoyed it, I soaked it up, I loved it!
These days with these little ones are not forever. I want to look back and cherish it.
Have I messed up? Only everyday. But every morning, I get a fresh new start.
I pray that as my children grow up, that their love for me will grow too. I love my Momma. I love being with her, talking to her, cooking with her, shopping with her and the list goes on and on. I want that with my kids...I pray that when I call them they don't cringe, when I visit they look forward to it and that they want to come "home" to visit!!
Yesterday was a day to celebrate mothers, but I also celebrate the ones that made me a Momma and the ones that showed me how to be a Momma. So thankful.

Easter is here!

2013-03-24T17:52:00.002-04:00

I love to celebrate Easter...all.year.long.

It is overwhelming to me to dwell on it...to really think about all He did for me.

I was reminded this morning...that He walked alone for ME. He took on MY sin. He paid MY debt.

I love the song "Never Once." It is one of my favorites. When I am singing it...I wish that my voice was so beautiful that I could stand on that stage and just belt it out...

"Scars and struggles on the way
But with joy our hearts can say...
Never once did we ever walk alone
Never once did You leave us on our own
You are faithful, God, You are faithful"

When I look at my life, there are so many scars and struggles...things that broke my heart and brought me to my knees. Yet with EVERY single one...He never let me walk alone...He was faithful.

We began preparing for Easter last Sunday with our family. We dusted off the Resurrection eggs and every night we gather around to crack open an egg and explore the Easter story. Our family is at so many different levels, it is hard to find a time in the evenings between homework, reading, baths, activities...that we can all gather around. So we made it optional for the big girls...but every night when Silas announces it is egg time...here they all four come. That blesses my heart. I love the interaction between them...Silas asked last night "Who in the world is this Caesar?"...before Beau could answer, Clara was giving a brief history lesson for Silas.

I have been reminded every day when I go to the mailbox and find 3 or 4 more college letters with my oldest child's name on it...that my time with my babies is very limited, so today I will cherish it.

Thankful that they are each learning that they will never walk alone. Thankful that they know that Easter is not about the bunny but about a Savior. Thankful that they know the story inside out and that each of them have made it part of their story.

Bring Faith to Life

2013-03-12T21:02:00.000-04:00

I am going to go with bringing faith to life in my children. I have four...they are all so different, from the way they look, the way they learn, the way they act...and in the same way the way they have responded to God.

Molly, the rule follower, accepted Christ when she realized without him she would literally die and go to hell. She heard it, she believed it, she repented and she accepted him with a child like faith at the age of four.

Clara, the skeptic, she doubted that anything could be that simple or true. At two, she questioned me on why I would choose to believe that Jonah could seriously live in a whale...absurd she thought. She really struggled with turning her life over to Christ and the struggle began when she was very young. I watched her fight a spiritual battle for several years and then one night she threw her hands up in the air and said..I am not fighting anymore...we prayed together and when we finished she said "whew I feel so much better!"...she was about 8.

Ellie was not much bigger than a toddler. She loved Jesus...she wanted him in her heart and on our way to pick up the girls from school, she told me we needed to pray right then...and we did! She knew what she was doing...she holds onto it.

Silas did a lot of questioning, a lot of learning and a lot of thinking on his own. He fretted but didn't stress. Then one night he told me he was ready to ask Jesus in his heart...I got ready to pray..and he said ..Mom this is something I need to do on my own. And he did...out loud in a room by himself.

All four, so different. All four, so real. All four, life changing. All four, a true commitment.

They all grew up in the same house, the same church, the same Bible. But they all accepted it in their own time and in their way.

For me, I wanted them to know the truth and I wanted them to accept the truth. But, I knew there wasn't a magical age or prayer or whatever...that they had to do it on their own or it wouldn't be real. So, our job as parents was to teach them the truth...pray with and for them...and let God do the rest.

I am so thankful, that each of them have accepted Jesus as their personal Saviour. I am so thankful that they have that foundation laid and that they will be able to build upon it..precept by precept. I am so thankful that not in my own power, but in His along that their faith was brought to life!

from panic attack to johnny cash

2012-09-05T20:00:00.000-04:00

I love to see God work. I love to see Him answer the prayers of His children.

On day 2 of school at about 7:30, while sipping my morning Diet Coke...I get a call. It's never good when the phone rings before you have finished your Diet Coke. It's Silas' sweet teacher on the line and she lets me know that the boy is having a major panic attack...I talk to her and to Silas. I promise Silas that I will be praying and I offer to his teacher to come in. She says to give her 15 minutes to see if she can overcome it...I quickly jump in the shower knowing there is no way on day 2 she can overcome this! I was wrong...she handled it - with grace and love. She texted several times throughout the day to let me know how he was doing. I thanked God all day for placing him with a teacher that loved and cared him so effectively and efficiently. What a blessing.

We continued to pray, his grammie and granddad continued to pray and we asked for 2 people that mean the world to Silas to pray (Mrs. Elizabeth and Mr. Michael)...they prayed too!

The rest of the week went fantastic - I received serveral emails and texts letting me know that Silas was having a great week. Thank you Jesus!

On Friday night , I thought I should probably send a text thanking her for a great week. Really...I should have fixed her dinner, taken her flowers, washed her car....Anyway, I get a text back. This is what it said "did you know that your sweet boy is a johnny cash fan and because he loves him the rest of the class does?!"

Seriously? No, I didn't know that. I actually had no idea!

Who knew that a little boy that "freaked out" on Tuesday would have enough confidence on Friday to convince a bunch of 1st graders to get up and dance to Johnny Cash? I sure didn't know...but I know someone who did. I'm so thankful that my life is held in his hands and I am so thankful for people in Silas' life that are faithful to go before the Father and pray for his mercy and grace to cover his little llife.

First Day - 2012

2012-08-29T07:21:00.003-04:00

The first day went perfect...no tears, no forgotten lunches, no homework.....

Day 2...well that's a story for another day!

Ready or Not

2012-08-26T21:31:00.000-04:00

Here we come! It is hard for me to believe that our summer is over and we are ready to start this new school year. This summer has held triumphs and failures, heartaches and celebrations, things that have broke our hearts and things that have filled us with love. I would venture to guess that my prayer life has grown by leaps and bounds this summer. I am so thankful for a Father that has sat up with me so many nights and listened to me plead for His healing, His grace and His love to fill me.

As we start this new year, I continue to pray for each of my children. I am so thankful as they each go their separate ways, that I know that they are each in His hands and that nothing can touch them that doesn't come through Him first.

I pray that God will help them to grow the gifts that He has given them, that they will not be arrogant about those gifts but that they would strive to do their best and to glorify Him in doing that.

I pray that they would be an example to their classmates and that their actions and words would be a reflection of His Love.

I pray that God will stretch them and grow them.

I pray for their teachers. I pray that each of them will be a postive influence on our children. That our children will love them and that they will love our children. I pray that they will make good choices for my children. I pray that they will make a difference in my children's life and that my children will make a difference in their life.

I pray for myself and for Beau that God will give us the wisdom that we need every single day as we make choices and decisions for our kids. I pray that we will always seek Him in regards to when to stand up for our kids and when to let them stand up for themselves.

I look forward to seeing God work, I know that there will be tears and cheers and I am thankful for each of those.

Watch Out Butler High, Crestdale Middle and Matthews....the Leonards are on the way!

A Vapour

2012-07-22T16:30:00.003-04:00

I reluctantly admit that I am growing older, it has to be true. There are more gray hairs in my hair than brown, losing weight is an uphill battle, a diet coke at bedtime would keep me up all night...I would go on but that could get ugly fast!

Anyway, where was I? In growing older I am seeing life in such a different way than I ever have before. In James 4:14 the Scripture says: "Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."

Think about that...a vapour. that appears for a little while. then vanishes.

Over the past 2 weeks, I have thought about that alot....

Many years ago, I had a best friend. A friend that for about 3 years, we talked on the phone all the time, stayed up all night eating ice cream and giggling, spent our summers together at band practice and band camp...then spent our fall together marching to "send in the clowns" and the Virginia High School fight song. She played the flute. I played the trumpet. We named ourselves "the flumpettes"...to make it official we had an air brush t-shirt made while performing at a band competition in the Smoky Mountains. We wore it "loud and proud". We probably had to run laps together for giggling when our band director didn't think it was appropriate. We shared stories about boys (well mostly I listened...), we learned to cross stitich one summer...it was a good friendship.

To be honest, 20 odd years later I can't tell you really why we stopped doing all those things. She went down one path and I went on another....there wasn't a fight or a disagreement that I can remember...we just changed.

I was so excited when I found her on facebook...I could see her, her smiles and the curly hair that matched her personality. I loved seeing pictures of her precious newborn being held by her Daddy. I loved reading her updates...I loved seeing her newborn grow into a toddler with curls matching her Mom's....I loved the window that was being provided for me to reconnect. Though we were miles apart and our lives had taken us in different directions, I felt that connection from so many years ago.

My heart broke when I saw that she had passed away. A vapour that was here for just a little while...38 short years. She leaves behind a host of friends, a husband, a little girl, a mom and dad. People who are suffering, people who are broken.

I can't quite wrap my head around it. Can't quite understand it. Can't quite accept it.

Yet, I have to hold on to the Father for all of that. It is His plan, His purpose, His hands.

God's Grace

2012-06-27T18:17:00.000-04:00

While sitting in the ICU with my Dad this past week, we had a lot of visitors. Dad is a good man, he has been good to a lot of people and lots of them stopped by to visit. Sometimes, during those visits I would step out and have get a little "Cash" in the lobby but sometimes I would sit and watch and listen.
During my last morning with Dad before I had to head back to Charlotte, a Gideon friend of Dad's came in...I didn't know him but his words made an impression on me. Dad told him his story of God's grace and how thankful he was to be alive and the man's response was not what we had heard so many times. He said "Gene, a lot of people would question why God saved you from the heart attack but didn't keep you from having the heart attack." I thought, oh no where is this headed? But the man followed with this statement and it's the one that I can't quit going back to ...."But the answer is pretty simple, you've made bad choices for many years with your eating etc that caused your heart to fail...but God provided a way for your heart to continue working and it will be up to you to keep it healthy."
On the surface, just looking at my Dad's health and heart that's pretty spot on...but I have looked at it beyond that. Isn't this exactly what God does with us...every.single.day.
Before salvation, we live our life our way...but when we come to Him, he makes our heart clean...new.
After salvation, though we have experienced His saving grace...we still make bad choices. We let pride, selfish ways or whatever get in our way and our heart becomes full of sin...BUT we can over and over again, come back to Him, ask for forgiveness and our heart is clean.
It breaks my heart to think how many times I have to ask for that forgiveness. God has given me so much, yet I still mess up. But how thankful I am that He loves me, He cares for me and He continues to forgive me.
Just like Dad is having to make alot of different choices when it comes to the activites he will be doing and the food that he will be eating...as a child of God, I need to be sure I am making the right choice to. I need to remember that of all the commandments, He said to love is the most important. So...here's to making my heart healthier....I'll have a salad for dinner and I will choose to show love to all those around me.

2 weeks in!

2012-06-23T21:25:00.001-04:00

It feels like a long time ago that school got out....in reality it has only been 2 weeks! Man O Man...has it been a crazy ride.

Molly headed to Bristol for a week to do a catering job with Grammie...she came back with a wallet full of money and exhausted!

Clara has been to DC along with 250,000 other Girl Scouts...she had a great time!!

Granddad gave us all a big scare and spent a few days in the hospital after a massive heart attack. God certainly had His hand in all of that and we are so thankful that he is still here with us!

After a quick solo trip to Bristol to see Granddad...I came home, unpacked and repacked for Camp Kidjam! Ellie and I had an amazing week! What a blessing to see hundreds of kids praising Jesus...arms held high and voices raised. My heart is full.

God is Good.
I am tired.

Thank You Jesus!

2012-06-09T22:10:00.001-04:00

With prayer and supplication, our school year is complete.
I want to pause for a moment and acknowledge the One who got us here.
This year, as all years have been, our kids have been covered in prayer.
I am thankful for the ones who prayed and for the One who listened and answered abundantly more than we could have ever asked for.

Let's start with Silas. Just 3 years ago, you started preschool, in a room next to mine, and you spent 7 months there in almost silence. We prayed, we worried, we sought help, we talked about, we cried...all in preparation for sending you to Kindergarten. Sending you to a very big school, where you would just be one of 1200. We thought it would be hard, we were right. We were tested in many ways and one thing I know for sure, when Mama Bear thinks her cub is in danger...it ain't pretty! But, he prevailed. he found his strength. He was amazing. He is reading, writing and testing above what he should be and we are so thankful. Yet the moment that made me the most proud was when He stood in front of his class and their parents and read a book that he wrote. That took a lot of courage and he did it well! Above all that, He found where to look for courage. One night last week He told us, "I'm not going to be scared at school this Friday." When Grammie and I asked why, He said "Because I prayed that God would help me." He prayed expecting God to answer. We all can learn from that!

Ms. Eleanor had a fantastic year. She ushered her baby brother the first several weeks with the love of a momma. She watched over him and she took over the role of being the big Leonard at school. She was blessed this year with the most amazing teacher and she has learned so much. She is a diligent student. She does her homework without being asked. She made straight A's and scored fantastic on her EOG's. This year she has been a friend to many. She has loved her Girl Scout troop and worked hard on several outreach projects. She ran her first 5k and started golfing! This year, she also made a public profession of her faith and was baptized. Ellie has such a gentle spirit and we are so proud of her.

Clara Jane had a fantastic 7th grade year. She pulled out an amazing year with her grades. She participated in several afterschool programs, including being the president of the Optimist Club. She has become a leader in her Girl Scout Troop and is well on her way to earning her Silver Award. She is a hard worker and often times, other parents brag on her work ethic and spirit.
She has also become a self-taught seamstress - she is loving to quilt, make purses and all kinds of things! As always, she is still our passionate child. Passionately loving or hating everything and everyone! We have seen tremendous growth in her maturity this year and we are excited to see what God is going to do with her. She is looking forward to a mission trip and youth leadership camp this summer!

Molly was a fabulous freshman! She did an amazing job at Butler and we are so proud of her accomplishments. When class rankings came out in March...she was first in her class. She loves her school and she does well in every subject. This year has been a big year - she took and passed Driver's Ed and received her learner's permit in May. It is hard to believe that our little girl is growing up...but the facts are the facts...and she is! She has spent a lot of time this year thinking about and meeting with a college prep coach, before we know it she will be making these life decisions. Our prayer is that God will lead her and that she will make those decisions with Him. She is looking forward to going back to Pittsburgh for the mission trip and she will be going the leadershipo camp as well!

It has been a good year and we are thankful.