by Laura Saba
10/26/17

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I’ve done it.  Leapt down the rabbit hole into my Black & White Period Experiment.  As promised, for those interested in the details, simply click here to read more about it!  It is filed under the menu option “Experiments” – as all future experiments will be. 

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Welcome to my  “Whiteboard Wednesdays” feature, where I will be sharing whiteboard presentations exploring inspirations, values, and foundational beliefs of Liberation Artists everywhere.   Enjoy!

This Week:  Curating Your Life: Life As An Experiment
By Laura Saba of The Liberation Artist

(Source: http://www.youtube.com/)

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Today’s Thought:  That to which we attach our focus can hold us hostage.   The stories we spin about who we are and our place in the world shape and define our lives, and impact how we engage with the story of Others.

We are each the hero of our own chapter, in the book of humankind.   We ink that story with every moment of our lives, with every action and inaction alike.  Too we play supporting roles in the story of Others.  When two stories collide, they can be as twin suns lighting up the skies, or cast dark shadows of doubt across one another’s worlds. 

Consciously shaping the traits and actions of our hero, we define life itself.  Embrace this power, and create life extraordinary.  Fail to do so, and you become hostage to your own tale.   

Are you telling the story of a hero or victim?  Are you acting accordingly, or telling yourself one story while your actions show another?   Each heartbeat of attention you devote to your story strengthens it.  Do you tell a story that you are “sick” or “tired” regularly?  Soon you will be so all the time – our mind cannot determine the difference between reality and fantasy, be cautious what you feed it.   

It’s imperative that we be highly selective in who we invite to play supporting roles, whether you are weaving a romantic comedy or horror story.   Your supporting characters go a long way in the life you are scripting – select wisely, and cut as often as necessary.  If we cast a player whose story is at odds with our own, we shall weave nothing but discord.  I have learned this the hard way, take heed!  

Here, an illustration:

Our hero is an independent soul who has proven he possesses an understanding of the path to success, time and again.  His story is deeply embedded, except with a twist:  he has a co-creator, a heroine, the love of his life, his perfect Other, who matches him measure-for-measure.  Together they take on the world, successfully meeting any and every challenge, even bending time and challenging death, need be.   

In this ‘us against the world’ story-line, there isn’t much room for others – in fact, an ‘us against the world’ story almost assumes the entire world one’s enemy.  However, this soul has a cast of supporting characters deeply invested in his ‘well-being.’  They perform many well-intentioned tasks designed to help our hero – genuine assistance that many would appreciate.  Their story is tied to being ‘good’ and ‘taking care of things’ – a story they believe everyone can appreciate and will, of course, be grateful for.  The drive behind this story line is their aching desire to feel needed and appreciated by our hero.  They want to feel important to him, to secure their role in his story.  Yet, the more they help, the more their actions are dismissed or resented.  In turn, they view our hero as ‘crazy’ and ‘unappreciative’ for rejecting the salvation they provide – how else will he make it?  They have to believe their actions are needed, and he will fail without them – it is the only belief that will validate their need to be needed.   

However, the trick here is this:  If our hero accepts the help of any but his Other, his story comes undone.  It will invalidate all he has lived by, as it will disrupt the organizing principle by which he has lived his life.   No longer is it he and his heroine taking on the world.  Rather, he would be made weak, someone in need of rescue.   

His refusal to accept the help of his supporting cast leaves these players lost, uncertain what to do. They are invested in solving the problems, as this is how they believe they will earn love and approval.   The attachment of each party to their story is actually ensuring that they will create discord.  For our hero, his story will be further validated:  It truly will feel like the world is against him, that others are trying to take control – he will be more likely to close others out.   The supporting case will be further validated in their sense that it is hopeless, they can never do enough to earn the validation and appreciation they seek.   

What is the solution?  For the hero, if he values the role the players hold in his life, he needs to find a way to make them feel appreciated without their needing to rescue him.  For the players, they need to understand that respect and trust in our hero’s abilities are what will bring them far closer to the appreciation they crave than attempts at control or help ever will.  There can be a happy outcome, if each player understands their role, and steps back from threatening one another’s story. Mutual respect for one another’s story, without the need to interject your own line into their’s is key to bridging such troubled waters.  

Alternately, one can opt to re-examine their story.  Is this the most empowering tale they can tell?  Has it gotten old, is it based on information that has shifted or changed?  May it be time to edit your story a little?  We have that power, let us be sure to exercise it.  Many become Spellbound by their story, perhaps to something in childhood that is no longer true.   Perhaps they remember a moment of disempowerment when little – if they didn’t do such and such they would be punished.   Grown, they fail to act at times, still in fear of some kind of punishment, forgetting that now grown, no one can force them to do something against their will.  

Failing to edit their story to reflect their present reality, they are responding as if still a child.   Adjusting course and re-writing rules could rocket them straight into a joy and contentment.   You would be surprised at how fast things shift when you adapt your story-line to fit the life you live today.  

Ensure you haven’t become Spellbound by your own story.

For Today:   Examine your story.  Is it reflecting who you are today?  Are you writing a tale of power or victimization?   Who are your supporting characters?   Have you chosen wisely or is it time to re-cast some roles?  Start thinking about the tale your life is telling from a pro-active position.  It is entirely in your hands to make it amazing – all it takes is a shift in perspective.

Create amazing.  Make it so.  

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Today’s Thought:  You can change everything in your life right now.  You own your life, so you own the power to change everything in it.  If this is true, facts of your life that you complain about are actually totally within your power to change.  

Think this topic doesn’t apply to you, that you have special circumstances and that it isn’t that simple..?   Untrue!  Unless you’re incarcerated, if you’re reading this online, I’m pretty certain you can change your life dramatically, no matter what your circumstances.  If this makes you angry, pay even closer attention, because it means I’m hitting home!  Any situation you feel is holding you back, you’re in for two reasons:  

1) Your prior choices or lack thereof 

2) You’re lying to yourself about how important the change is to you.

People are really good at getting what they truly need.  Sometimes we tend to be less truthful in admitting to ourselves what that honestly is.  Instead, it’s more comfortable to let things remain as they are – even when we tell ourselves we want something different.

I know, it is maybe  ”different for you” – you have a family and kids, for instance?   Well guess what?  I know you think it makes your situation different,  but it doesn’t in terms of owning the power to change your life.   You will understand better after wading through the following ideas.  

All the options we say we ‘can’t’ exercise – we actually can.  We are choosing not to.  You can quit that job, even if you have a family or debt.  You own the power to never walk back in there again.  You even own the ability to abandon your family.  I am not saying you should do either.  Just recognize that people do such things every day.  Heck, people do even more dramatic things, like putting their kids in foster care or committing crimes.  Again, I’m not condoning those things, whatsoever.  Rather,  I’m drawing your attention to something that can change your perspective forever.  Stay with me.

What stops you from just quitting your job, or abandoning your family, or worse?  It isn’t that ‘you are a good person’ because that is actually relative.  Rather, you likely don’t like the cost, including seeing yourself as ‘a bad person.’  You value a certain ‘identity’ than you value ‘escaping.’   Or maybe the thought of the heartache your abandoned family would experience is more painful than the value of freedom you would earn.  In the same way, you value knowing where your next meal will come from more than you value the ability to tell your boss to ”take this job and shove it!”  You weighed the costs and benefits of each, and here you are today, living the less painful option, even when the change may have been better for you.

Why?  Humans tend to go to greater lengths to avoid pain than they do to be rewarded.  We are less likely to make change if it involves a high cost or pain. So, no longer can we say we are trapped:  We choose where we are, having weighed the cost vs. the reward.

Knowing this, can we continue to resent others for our circumstances?  You landed where you are, and you remain because you don’t like the alternatives.  Once you own your decisions you can’t possibly resent another.  Suddenly your relationship to all you have resented improves, because your attitude has shifted.  Sure, you may still wish you’d made better choices at times, but you no longer feel trapped.  Feeling imprisoned in your own life is a recipe for misery!  When we blame others, we give away our power.  Owning that we chose to be where we are after weighing cost vs. reward restores our power. 

That is your ticket to freedom from feeling victim to your circumstances.  Your stress level will drop.   Time and energy once spent resenting the facts of your life freed are now spent weaving a better reality.   Seeing you never again need feel trapped or powerless again, you can even see your way to discovering things to be grateful for.  

Once you’ve made this shift, you can work toward un-complicating your life further, adding new and wonderful things to the landscape of your world.  Even when you opt to skip the bigger changes, you can oftentimes make many little changes to allow joy into your life.  

For Today:  Where do you feel trapped or stuck in your life?   If you aren’t sure, look for things you blame others for, like your boss or co-workers, or traffic (you could leave earlier, you are choosing not to because there is a benefit to leaving when you do), your partner, your kids, your budget.  The things you complain about are things you feel powerless over.   Start asking yourself some powerful questions about why you maintain your personal status quo.   Take ownership of it – never again blame others.  

How so?  Angry at your partner for how they toss their clothes on the floor?  You can get extreme and break-up.  You can throw their clothes in the garbage.  You can fight it out day in and day out.   The reality as you live today means you don’t like those options better than the ones created by what you are doing here and now.  Again, not suggesting any of these options, just that you have chosen to maintain what exists now because it is less painful than other alternatives.  

Stop blaming others and resenting your life.   Take back your power, own your life!

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Welcome to my  “Whiteboard Wednesdays” feature, where I will be sharing whiteboard presentations exploring inspirations, values, and foundational beliefs of Liberation Artists everywhere.   Enjoy!

This Week:  Curating Your Life: Part II
By Laura Saba of The Liberation Artist

(Source: http://www.youtube.com/)

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Today’s Thought:  Liberation Artists tend to be an experimental lot, testing approaches to life the same way an artist may explore different mediums.   Rather than live according to dogma, we will formulate a thesis based on logic or inspired whim, then define the paramaters of the experiment, and take the leap.   If things go right, it is a win.  If it turns out to be a terrible mistake, it’s still a win.  How so?   For the lessons learned, and information gleaned that can be used in other areas of life.   Even if money is lost, a Liberation Artist tends to see it as the ”tuition” paid for that life lesson.  

There is tremendous freedom in this, because you have the room to ‘screw up’ and not feel bad about it.  This lets you try bigger, crazier things than you would if you felt like a failure every time things didn’t go the way you hoped.  Which is, of course, a big part of how Liberation Artists push through so many boundaries to create truly awesome lives.

Remember, if you never try, you fail to experience a win 100% of the time.  If you take the leap you may crash and burn, but you also may take off like a rocket.  Either way, you learn something.   For a Liberation Artist, this is part of how we live life as art, while discovering the art of living.   Your life is your canvas, you have a lot of latitude in terms of how great and wonderful you can design it if you are living in the free world.  Live like a Liberation Artist, figure out how to push past limitations to create the room for experimenting and exploration.  

How do you come up with experiments?   Follow the ‘what ifs’ that come to mind  –  even the wild and crazy ones.   Colin Wright over at Exile Lifestyle has allowed people – strangers who follow his blog – to vote on where he will live, then moves there for months at a time, blogging about the experience.  Kristy Powell at One Dress Protest wore the same dress for a year, to explore and protest the ideas and motivation behind her wardrobe, and blogged about it.  Both Colin and Kristy have shared some pretty awesome life experiences and insights in the process.  You don’t have to blog about your experiments, of course, but when an idea strikes you as interesting, instead of just thinking or talking about it, try it.  Set up some rules to give the experiment structure, and maybe a time period or end point, contemplate potential fail-points and how you can offset them, and give it a go.

A Note: This weekend I’m going to publish a post here about a life experiment I’m about to begin.  It isn’t dramatic, yet some would consider it extreme.   I am referring to it as my “Black and White Period” experiment.  You know how Monet had a “Blue Period”?  Well, this will be my Black & White period, but it is tied to wardrobe, rather than paintings.  I will share details this weekend, and will provide an update every month or so.  I’m still involved in the physical work of setting this experiment up, but I will share all: Why wardrobe? Why black and white? What do I hope to learn? What limitations and rules? Why does this matter? …and more!

For Today:  Is there an idea for life change that has captured your attention, but you haven’t tried it out yet?  What is holding you back?  Can you safely (enough) experiment with it?  If it is too crazy, are there smaller steps you could experiment with, that wouldn’t be as risky?  Sometimes we need to baby step our way to even bigger change.   Come up with a life experiment and determine the first 3 steps toward setting it in motion.  Then ask yourself what is holding you back if you still don’t jump in.  If the answer is “Nothing!” then isn’t it time to go for it?   If there is something holding you back, assess it, and determine 3 steps you can take to move past challenges and take them.  Remember – if it is an experiment worth trying, even if it fails (and it might), you will still be no further from success than had you not tried at all.  Plus you will learn information that will likely lead to a future experimenting being a success.

Create the amazing life you know you are meant to live!  Start by learning more about the materials you are working with, by diving in and experimenting with the moments of your life.  

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Welcome to my new feature, “Whiteboard Wednesdays,” where I will be sharing whiteboard presentations exploring inspirations, values, and foundational beliefs of Liberation Artists everywhere.   Enjoy!

This Week:  Curating Your Life: Getting Started
By Laura Saba of The Liberation Artist

We apologize for this posting on Thursday.  When Tumblr went down, it lost our post!  

(Source: http://www.youtube.com/)

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Today’s Thought:  Quitting is a legitimate path to Greatness.  This flies in the face of conventional thinking, which demands we ‘never quit.’  However, that advice is meaningless without context.   I can’t tell you how often I see people blindly ‘sticking it out,’ thinking they have to if they want to achieve their ‘dream,’ when their failure to quit may be what is standing in their way. 

Laser-like focus, commitment, and consistency are hallmarks of success.  A life cluttered with distractions and half-passions can knock you right off track, though.  Think about it.  We can only do so many things in any set amount of time.   Where we invest our moments directly shapes the future we create.   If we want to be our best self, living our best life, isn’t it better to quit the things that steal our attention from where it should be?

I’m not suggesting quitting simply because the going gets tough, but that you quit what doesn’t fit, or the things that suck away your life moments.  Too often we fill our lives with activities, commitments, and tasks we think we need to do, because we’ve been convinced we have to prove ourselves.     So we waste our time with empty distractions, and that laser-like focus and commitment go out the window, while we run around like chickens without their heads.  This headless chicken kind of chaos prevents us from recognizing, much less expressing, our inner awesome, not to mention interrupting us from our true path.

Consider this carefully.   If you dropped everything but tasks tied to reaching your 3 biggest dreams, can’t you imagine you would get there faster?  What if you dropped all but things tied to 2, or even the 1 single most important dream in your life?

I’m not saying you have to get to that point.  I’m suggesting that if you want to master something, be truly great at it, that thing has to become the single most important task in your life.  Everything else detracts from it, dilutes your time and attention.  When you spend time in one thing, it is less time in another.   Only you can determine how far you want to go, but understand the correlation between how we spend our time and what we create in our lives.

I do actually believe there is value in having a bit of balance – another couple of things in your life that matter, other than the one primary goal.  Sometimes diverting our mind and focus can allow things to simmer on a subconscious level, making our work even better, at least in my experience.   However, most of us have far too many distractions cluttering up the landscape of our lives.  Dropping the majority of them like hot potatoes may be just what you need to break through to a higher level of success.

The one caveat:  Never quit just because something is hard.  You may adjust course, re-evaluate, and opt to see something in a new light, or as having proven to not be a right fit for you, and that is fine.  One of the best ways to learn what ‘fits’ you is to try on different things.  Just, when you find something that is worthwhile, don’t simply quit during tough times.   Challenges of this nature can change your life, and propel you forward, if you face them.  The key is understanding what you are leaving behind because it is detracting from the bigger picture, the ability to express your genuine self on your life journey, as opposed to quitting something of value because you went through a rough patch.  Then again, Liberation Artists do things with intention, consideration, and attention.  Randomly quitting things impractically isn’t their M.O.  Nor should it be yours. 

For Today:  Try writing down everything you do for 3 days.  Then rate those activities.  How many hours did you spend on things that are moving you toward the life you dream of?  How many hours were spent doing the things you truly love, that bring joy to your life?   Most people discover very little time goes to what really matters most to them.  If that proves true for you, ask yourself some questions:  ”What do I want for myself and my life?   Are these distractions worth it?”

If the answer is no, they aren’t, how can you drop them, so you can build the life you know you want and deserve?

Keep in mind:  Sometimes ‘quitting’ has to happen as a slow transition. We cannot throw our lives and those of others who depend on us into chaos, necessarily, by quitting our job overnight without another source of income.  Or rather, we can, but it is going to be some bumpy ride.  You may opt to transition slowly.   Think it through, and then decide what is best for you.  Just – make sure you are ever moving toward a life where more and more of your time is spent in high quality activities that are genuinely weaving the life you long for.

Go for it!   Look for the brass ring, get to where you can quit the stuff standing in your way, and make the stretch – it can all be yours!

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