The Life and Adventures of Cateepoo

A Story About Patience, Friendship, and a Mug

2013-05-13T15:13:00.001-05:00

This is the story of a woman (me) who has a strange obsession with having the exact right tea mug, learning to patient, and a friend who reunites this woman with her mug.

I am a huge hot tea drinker and have a few demands for the perfect tea mug. First, it has to feel right in my hands. Since I am right handed and the fingers on my right hand don't bend completely, I need a handle that allows plenty of finger room yet isn't too thick or too thin. Next, the mug needs to reflect my personality and call out to me that it is right for me. I like to have a connection with my mug. Lastly, it needs to be distinct enough that everyone knows it is mine and won't use it. Several years ago, I found the perfect mug at Starbucks. I loved the colors and the feel of it in my hand. The connection was immediate. When RA Guy, Lene Andersen, and I began working on photos for the first Our Hands Can! Photo Book produced by Show Us Your Hands!, I submitted a photo of my hands lifting my mug.

For quite a while, my mug and I enjoyed each day together. Then one day, I made a big mistake. I decided to take my mug with me in the car. I had done this many times before, but this time it was different because I was also holding onto the leash of a very excited border collie. The mug fell out of my hand, onto the porch, and broke into many pieces. My heart was so sad. I felt like I had lost a friend.

Now, you may think, "It was just a mug. What's the big deal?" You are right. It was just a mug, but it was MY mug. It had shared many cups of tea with me along with many conversations, tears, and happy moments. I felt a connection to it. For over a year I have been checking out mugs in coffee houses and stores. My daughter keeps rolling her eyes and saying, "Mom, just buy it. It is cute." I hold the mug in my hand, think about how it will feel on a daily basis, and end up not buying it. The mug never seems to call out to me that it is the right one for me. Occasionally I think, "Maybe I can make this the right one." But as we know with love, we can't force someone or something to be something it isn't. So, I have been patient. I have reminded myself over and over that the right mug will come along. Just be patient.

Last week I received a message from my good friend Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy. He was at a baseball game and spotted a mug that reminded him of mine. When I saw the photo, I burst out laughing because the mug he saw in the hands of the gal sitting next to him at a ball game was the EXACT replica as the one I had broken. I messaged him back to snatch the mug when the lady turned her head. Luckily, he is more honest than me and simply told the gal my tea mug story and showed her a photo of it on the site. She washed out the mug she had bought at a second hand store and gave it to him to give to me.

Today, my mug arrived!!!!! It is nice to have my long lost connection back in my own hands. And now, it is even better because this new one comes with a story of its own. I am glad that I was patient and waited rather than jumping on the first good looking mug. Sometimes the best things come with patience and of course having a good friend keeping you in mind at all times doesn't hurt either. Thanks Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy. You are the best.

Diet for Rheumatoid Arthritis More Than Just a Cure

2013-05-10T05:40:00.000-05:00

There is a lot of discussion on blogs, websites, and Facebook pages about the connection between rheumatoid arthritis and diet. Many people try a gluten free diet for a month or two and then deem it useless and move on. Some people remove processed foods for a while and then decide it takes too much work. Others say diet is a waste of time. Making dietary changes is hard, I agree. But whether or not diet "cures" rheumatoid arthritis, I believe it is one of the best gifts you can give yourself when dealing with RA.

My own personal journey with rheumatoid arthritis and diet has not led to a cure of the disease as I originally hoped for. Instead it has allowed me to focus on how my individual body reacts to foods. It has improved my skin, my digestion, weird twitches in my nose and fingers, and more. This did not happen by eliminating a food for a short time - I was lucky to work with a naturopath who insisted I eliminate foods until I saw some obvious changes. After eliminating wheat, dairy, nightshades, citrus, sugar, and peanuts and focusing on making all of my own food for about nine months, my inflammation rates went down and I was able to stop taking prednisone that I had been on for a while.

Initially I focused only on diet as a way of lowering my inflammation rates, but once I started eating well, I found I had a new respect for my overall self. I started digging deeper into who I am. What were my life goals? My relationship goals? My spiritual goals? What was preventing me from accomplishing what I wanted in each of these areas? I started meditating and respecting my need for lots of down time. I started working out in a new way using more weights than cardio workouts. I found that I like having a strong body. I worked on relationships. I cried a lot as I worked at finding a better, more content me. With each of these changes, I found that my body felt better. Diet gave me control over my life at a time that it seemed everything was out of my control. It was the first step towards creating a better me.

Many times when living with a disease such as rheumatoid arthritis we ask, "Why me?" We get angry at people for not understanding how we feel or saying the wrong thing to us. But what if we took our current situation, rheumatoid arthritis, and focused on it as being a lesson in life that has been given to us not only to make us a healthier person but also to make us a more content person? While I may not be able to stop a flare, I do know from paying attention to my own body that by reducing stressful situations, I can prevent many of them. I know that consuming too much sugar is going to give me stiff hands the following morning. I can become aware of the day to day signs my body gives me that I am not treating it well.

Diet is a starting point to making our overall selves healthier.While I don't think rheumatoid arthritis is a punishment for anything we have or haven't done in our lives, I do believe it is gift that has many lessons to teach us. I also believe that diet can be the first step towards giving ourselves the respect and attention it deserves. Once we figure out that eating crap day after day is not what our body is asking us for, we can move on to figuring out more of what our body does want from us.

Right now my weight is up about 15-20 pounds. Maybe that doesn't seem a lot, but on a 5'0 frame, it makes a huge difference and I don't feel happy where I am at right now aesthetically, but more importantly because I know that the extra weight does not create a healthy me. Rather than hurrying to reduce calories and lose weight, I am focusing on why I have an extra 15-20 pounds of weight on my body right now. What is the lesson here? I trust in the wisdom of my body and my body is holding onto this weight for a reason. It is my job to get to the root of it. I still have much to learn about myself and this extra weight I am carrying around is just another reminder to me that I have work to do. As I do good things for myself like skip the glass of wine that sounds so good or pack a nutritious lunch for a busy day, I know that I am not only controlling my weight but also treated myself with respect. I feel lucky that my body gives me signs something is out of whack and I am glad that I listen. Without diet, I don't think I would be to this point. So, while it may not cure the disease, diet definitely has an important place in our rheumatoid arthritis treatment plan. It makes life easier and transitions us to learning more about ourselves which in turn makes us happier and healthier.

Exercises For All Levels of RA

2013-05-08T08:02:00.001-05:00

I am so proud to be a part of this video. I found myself saying over and over, "Remember when I couldn't ___________." This video was a great way for me to reflect on how far I have come phyically and emotionally with rheumatoid arthritis. I am really proud of myself .

The Truth of a Fortune Cookie

2013-05-06T07:27:00.000-05:00

"You have the ability to touch the lives of many people."

Fortune Cookie

Although I don't eat fortune cookies due to the gluten, I always open one when we order Chinese from PF Chang's gluten free menu. When I read one that connects with me, I keep it on my desk for several weeks reading it over and over again. I often have ideas of how the fortune applies to me, but like to let it sit and see what transpires.

The connection I felt to this fortune was revealed to me as my Saturday class came to a close over the weekend. Throughout the morning, students thanked me for being so patient with them. They told me they like my teaching style. Since most of us have been together all year, they wanted to know if I would be teaching the same class in the fall. (I hope so!) All of this positive feedback made me know in my heart that I have indeed touched many lives. My fortune had come true.

After meeting one on one with the last student, I walked next door where I knew the students had brought food to share and were patiently waiting on me to eat. What I didn't know was that I would be met with a round of applause as I walked through the door. A student said, "This is for you Teacher Cathy." There was tons of food along with a cake, a card signed by everyone with lovely notes, and a beautiful potted plant for me to take home. Wow! I felt so special.

I think what my students don't realize is that I get as much out of the classes as they do. This class in particular has been very special to me. It was a big class that met for four hours every Saturday and rather than having them for eight weeks-16 weeks as I normally do, I had them all year long so we really got to know each other. The personalities in this group were BIG and they were excited about learning not only what was in the curriculum, but often brought things from the outside world to ask about. One gal is part of a non-profit start up to help educate children, especially girls, in Sudan. She often brought questions and need for edits to class. Another student has many English speaking friends and they often point out mistakes in his text messages. He was sure "I am boring," was correct and his friends were wrong when they said, "You are bored." When he explained his theory, I knew he was thinking the right way, but unfortunately wasn't correct on this one. I liked that he challenged his friends though. One student uses English at work but often struggles with vocabulary. It brought a lot of satisfaction when she would say, "I hear that word a lot, but I never knew what it meant." Many days she would bring additional words for us to talk about. This class kept me on my toes from the start to finish. After our four hours together, my brain was exhausted in a way I have never experienced with other classes. This group of students was made up of nine different nationalities. Watching students from various countries get off track from their group assignment to go to the map and show where they lived or explain their culture was the kind of distraction a teacher can't help but be okay with. Honestly, I am so lucky to have the job I have. I love going to work knowing that I am appreciated and that I am touching the lives of many people. I am glad my fortune spoke the truth.

How Much News Can We Absorb?

2013-04-19T08:41:00.002-05:00

I remember a day that I felt it was my civic responsibility to watch the daily news. I watched the Today Show as I dressed for work and when I was home with my babies. To make sure I was up to date on everything, I made sure I also watched the nightly news. However, as I sat watching the Twin Towers fall over and over again and then listened to horror story after horror story of the lives affected by the Katrina disaster, I decided this little heart of mine could only take in so much bad news. This was the point that I stopped watching and listening to the news.

What I have discovered during my years of avoiding the news is that you cannot hide from it. I only have to log on to Facebook to know what horrific things have happened in the world. If I choose to avoid Facebook, which I often do after I have learned the basic details of the current news story, I am confronted with the same stories over and over again when I go to work, the store, or anywhere outside of my home. I am quite envious of the few people in the world who honestly can avoid the news. For me, it hasn't been possible. Knowing this, I have decided the one thing I can do is make sure I don't watch or read the same story lines over and over again.

While I believe we need to care for others and try to make this world a better place, I don't believe that happens by rehashing the same story over and over again. I am a sensitive person by nature, but I honestly don't understand how people handle the news of so much bad going on day after day. For me, it gives me nightmares, which is one of the reasons I stopped watching the news. It also makes me lose hope in the world which is something I refuse to do.

Wednesday night and Thursday morning, my local town experienced a lot of rain which created flooding issues. My family and I were prevented from going to school and work yesterday due to our neighborhood roads being blocked off. Three miles from our home, in Lisle, IL, a state of emergency has been called. Cars are under water as well as homes destroyed. Am I watching some of the news coverage? You bet. This is my community. This is when and where I 100% need to know what is happening. This is the time for me to open up my heart and feel for others, to send healing thoughts, and to be a good citizen. I know that many bad things are happening in the world right now, but I can't absorb all of the bad. I can only concentrate on that right under my nose. For those of you that have a bigger heart than me and can absorb all that is happening in the world - hooray for you! I have learned my limits. I can only handle so much bad news and need to hear plenty of good.

Connecting with Myself

2013-04-01T08:41:00.001-05:00

2013 has been all about bringing calm to my life. Therefore, I have been focusing on me and the things I love to do. Here is my spring break:

A nature walk with my teenage son, his friend, and my border collie. Breathing in the trees, birds, and fresh air helped clear my mind and renew me.

On Easter Sunday, my family and I went for a ten mile bike ride. Spending time outdoors with my family always makes me happy, even when I try to resist it.

I require a lot of alone time and I took it over spring break. While the kids were busy with their own activities, I read and watched shows that I enjoy.

I participated in Deepak Chopra's 21 Day Meditation Challenge on creating Perfect Health with my sister Stacey. Daily, we shared our goals with each other. Knowing I have her there to support me and encourage me makes life wonderful.

Being gentle with ourselves and doing nice things that our bodies require is often overlooked in our society. Instead, we are often made to believe that we are lazy if we aren't constantly on the go doing something..... anything, except being good to ourselves.

My rheumatoid arthritis has been under control for a while now, but last Wednesday through Saturday I experienced a pretty rough flare in my hip. What I realized is that I didn't freak out. I remained calm. In the past, when I've gone a while without a flare and then had one, I felt emotionally drained, worried that my body was turning on me. This time, I didn't experience that at all. In fact, I realized that my nourishing time was a sure sign to me that taking time for myself was a good choice. This break gave me lots of time to reflect on some things that have been bothering me. I believe this flare might have been my body's way of ridding itself of all the negative feelings I have felt. Now that they are out of my system, I can start this week back to work and a regular mom schedule feeling good about my self and my choices.

I hope you are caring for yourself too. Happy Monday!

Reducing Infobesity

2013-03-01T07:53:00.001-06:00

While my rheumatoid arthritis seems to be under control now, I am suffering from a new disease. It's called infobesity. I am constantly been feeding my mind with new information that will help my one on one tutoring students, my classroom students, my family's crazy schedule, and life in general. On top of that, I have discovered tons of awesome blogs and websites that I enjoy visiting. I also have a podcast addiction. I listen to them whenever I am alone in the car, which is often, and on walks with Izzy. In addition, I'm constantly checking and reading emails and Facebook. Luckily I don't use my Twitter account! MY BRAIN HURTS. I have consumed way too much information and it is time for a diet.

I have been reading Mark Sisson's new book The Primal Connection, which I highly recommend to everyone whether you follow a primal diet or not. In this book, Sisson gives practical ways of getting back to our primal connections while living in a modern world. He says,

You are hardwired to be keenly aware of your surroundings.

Modern Disconnect: overwhelmed with distractions

Primal Connection: power down, unplug, and be present in the moment.

During the month of February I started making some changes to rid myself of some of the distractions that were making my brain fuzzy and left me feeling disconnected. These changes are small, but very powerful.

Limit time online

While I love posting, emailing, and checking in on Facebook to see what is going on with friends, it has consumed too much of my time. Once I started limiting my time online, I realized how much extra time I have in my busy schedule. Plus, it is nice to look my kids in the eyes when they are talking to me rather than at a computer screen.

Move!

Now that I am away from the computer more, I find myself moving more. At first I had to make a conscious decision that I was going to move more during the day, but once I did I found I am more efficient at getting chores done around the house and my mind feels less bogged down.

Meditate

In the past I relied on meditation when I felt really stressed out. As of February, I have incorporated it into my everyday routine, even if that means only five minutes a day. This may sound hippy dippy, but this small change has made all the difference in how I experience my days.

Quiet time

Before I had a smart phone that allowed me to check emails wherever and whenever I wanted and before I discovered pod-casts, I would get into my car after a class and drive home in silence. This quiet time allowed my brain to process all that happened in class before adding on new information. I need that time. I also need that time on walks to hear birds sing, the wind blow, and other sounds of nature that soothe my brain. The quiet time also allows me to connect in a better way with my border collie Izzy.

Read Books

To add to my quiet time during the day, I am reading more. This kind of reading does not involve the computer, but real books. I don't want to sound old fashioned, but reading a book or newspaper does something different to your brain than reading online. I think it is the fact that you are more focused. You know with a book you can't get distracted and go searching for ten other things related to the topic you are reading about. Plus, laying on the couch with a good book allows you to easily doze off for a little bit. In addition, I am taking a book with me to work. I have a thirty minute break between classes and find that reading, rather than searching the web on my iphone, really relaxes me for my next class.

Allow luxuries throughout day

Rather than spending my small amount of free time on the internet, I am now giving myself small luxuries throughout the day. In the past I might run home during my hour and a half between schools to make dinner and check emails and Facebook. Now, I put food in the slow cooker in the morning or plan a quick easy meal and spend my time at home doing things like talking with my family or relaxing in the bathtub with Epsom salt.

Does all of this mean an end to my time on email, Facebook, pod-casts and my blog? No way! I love all of these and feel they bring good things to my life. I have just learned that for me, there is a limit and I have been abusing it. It occurred to me the other day that life is like meditation. You might have a thought, but you have to just let it pass. Not every thought needs to be explored. Every questions doesn't need an answer. Sometimes we have to just let our mind experience quiet.

Introducing Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis

2013-02-27T04:57:00.000-06:00

I am super excited to share Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis: Tools for Managing Treatment, Side Effects and Pain. The author, Lene Andersen, is both an awesome gal in the inflammatory arthritis community and an excellent friend. I have had the pleasure of working with Lene at Health Central and as a fellow board member on Show Us Your Hands!

While I have known for some time that Lene was writing a book, I wasn't sure what the outcome would be. All I knew was that she was always crazy busy writing her book. Once I had a chance to read it, I was pleasantly surprised at how easy and comfortable it is to read. Lene shares some of her personal experiences, but in usual Lene style, backs everything up with research she has done over the many years she has lived with rheumatoid arthritis. This book covers topics that will help people who need guidance in overcoming the shock of being newly diagnosed, making decisions about medications, and a variety of alternative care ideas you can add to your mix. Most importantly in my opinion, Lene shares tips on how to go about leading a healthy and happy life after being diagnosed with RA.

Read through the following questions I had for Lene and then look for a little surprise at the end. (Yes, it involves winning something special.)

1. Lene, welcome to The Life and Adventures of Cateepoo. Before we dive into your book, can you give my readers a short biography of yourself?

Thank you so much for hosting my first stop on the blog tour, Cathy!

I was born and raised in Denmark, hence the funny spelling of my first name. The first symptoms of juvenile arthritis arrived when I was four years old and I was diagnosed at age 9. This was before there were any effective treatments, so I was in a power wheelchair full-time by 16. My family and I moved to Toronto, Canada in the early 1980s. I have a Masters degree in Social Work and have worked in a number of different fields, including counseling and community and policy development. After a massive flare in 2004, I decided to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a writer.

2. What drove you to write this book?

I wanted my 40+ years of having RA and learning how to live with and around it to be useful to others. The idea became the Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis series. It is designed to help empower people to take back control and find a way to live well with RA, so their life is first and the disease second. The first book, Tools for Managing Treatment, Side Effects and Pain, deals with the first step in the process:of finding ways to push the effects of the disease to the back burner. Once you do that, you can focus on the next steps. The next two books in the series will deal with other aspects of living well with RA.

3. In your opinion, why is medication the first and most important route to take with RA?

I grew up in a time where there were no treatments. At that time, RA meant inevitable disability. This is no longer the case. These days, DMARDs and the Biologics can prevent the damage that causes disability and minimize the impact of the systemic effects of RA, for instance lowering the risk of heart attacks. These medications are the only treatments that have been scientifically proven to suppress the disease and stopping the damage. Unfortunately, we are not yet at a time where they work for everyone, but most will be able to have some effect, slowing down the damage. If you slow down or stop RA, you will be able to have better quality of life and be able to participate in your family, your work, your community.

4. While your book focuses on medication and everything you need to know about them, from types of medication, cost, side effects, and more, you also share several home remedies, such as garlic, hot drinks and cranberry juice. What is your favorite home remedy and how does it help you?

I've always been a bit of a magnet for side effects. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot of different tricks to manage them and I share them in the book. One of my mainstays is related to the upper respiratory infections (a.k.a. sinus infections) that are common when you take immunosuppressants, such as methotrexate and Biologics. I used to get a lot of really bad sinus infections and had to be on antibiotics every couple of months. That’s just not good for you. After a couple of years of that madness, I discovered a simple regimen to keep sinus infections at bay. You need three things: a lot of water, a lot of pineapple juice and a lot of garlic. The water dilutes the crap — that ought to be a medical term — in your sinuses and pineapple juice has an anti-inflammatory enzyme that allows the crap to drain. The garlic has antibacterial qualities, helping to prevent infection (and also tastes really yummy). Thanks to this regimen, I haven't taken antibiotics for sinus infections in almost 5 years! Whenever I feel a sinus infection coming on, I increase the amount of water, pineapple juice and garlic and am able to beat them back.

5. In chapters 33-37 you describe many types of alternative care to add to your mix. I like that. Everything from acupuncture to saying "no" were discussed. Can you share a couple of others with us?

Although I am unashamedly pro-medication, I believe alternative medicine is a really important tool in improving your general health and managing your RA symptoms. In my experience, integrating allopathic (Western) and alternative medicines can help you feel better than either of the two separately. I'm a big fan of acupuncture — it's been part of my health care since I was 12. Shiatsu massage has also been tremendously helpful for me. Another favorite is meditation, which is very helpful in dealing with pain and the stress of having a chronic illness. My favorite Toronto pain specialist, Dr. Jan Carstoniu, is quoted in the book with a terrific meditation technique: Sit down. Don't move. Shut up. Do that for 20 minutes a day and you'll feel better!

6. I was pleasantly surprised to see you had devoted a section of your book to "sex." Why was this a necessary part of the book?

You're going to be even happier with Book 3 — it'll include a much more detailed discussion of sex! Sex is an important part of being a whole human being. Unfortunately, it's often put on the shelf when you have RA. This can be because of stress, body image issues or because you or your partner is afraid it'll make you hurt more. Being physically intimate pulls you out of the place of stress, worry and pain that is so often part of RA. Sex can help you feel better about your body and as an extra benefit, the endorphins released during orgasm are really excellent painkillers! There are things you have to be careful of, but overall, there's no reason why RA should prevent you from expressing your sexuality.

7. Where else can we find your work?

In addition to the Your Life with RA website and blog, I write a personal blog called The Seated View. I am also the Community Leader for HealthCentral.com's RA site.

Thanks so much for having me as a guest on your blog!

Your Life with Rheumatoid Arthritis: Tools for Managing Treatment, Side Effects and Pain is available from Amazon for the Kindle. If you do not have a Kindle you can download a free app for computer, tablet and smartphone here.

Now for the surprise! Lene is giving away a Kindle version of her book to two randomly chosen winners. To enter the drawing, answer the following question in the comments section or on my Life and Adventures of Cateepoo Facebook page:

What kinds of alternative medicine have you tried?"

*Drawing will be Monday, March 4, 2013.

Paleo Diet According to Cateepoo

2013-02-13T07:03:00.001-06:00

Diet has been a part of my rheumatoid arthritis plan pretty much since the very beginning . When I was first diagnosed and still in crazy mode, my brother told me about an acquaintance that went into remission using diet alone. I remember feeling like a seed had been planted in my mind with that story. As I started on medications without much success, that seed began to grow. I went ahead and asked my brother to find out more about what his acquaintance was eating. I laugh now because his diet consisted of salmon and pineapple.(A very limited Paleo diet?) That was pretty much it. I knew at the time I didn't have the willpower to live on salmon and pineapple alone, although that does sound like a yummy meal. Instead, ten months after my diagnosis I met with a naturopath and began a journey of eliminating foods that are harmful to my body and adding ones that nourish it.

Until 2010, a good diet for me was low in sugar, gluten free and mostly dairy free. (In the beginning it eliminated nightshades, sugar, citrus, peanuts, dairy, gluten, and caffeine.) With my natuorpath's help I completed a successful elimination diet that allowed me to get off prednisone and reduce all medications to their lowest amounts. I went into what my rheumy called, "remission". I stayed there until I got cocky and started adding a lot of gluten free baked goods back. Sugar is my worst enemy. After many elimination diets, I know this to be true. Things got bad, I went off medications, and a new journey began. I tried the Body Ecology Diet with terrible results (Not that the BED is bad, it just wasn't good for me.) as well as many other alternative types of treatment.

In 2010, I decided to try the Paleo Diet. What I liked about this diet is it included lots of free range meat (we have been buying from a co-op for over ten years), organic vegetables (participated in CSA's for many years), and eliminated SUGAR and all grains. It met my philosophy of healthy foods. Having been gluten free for so many years, I found the Paleo Diet to be liberating. I no longer went to restaurants or searched recipe books looking for alternatives to wheat based foods. Instead, I started enjoying the wonderful foods that come from meat, vegetables, and healthy fats. I felt like I had entered a whole new world. Food had never tasted so delicious in its natural state.

I believe diet is key to everything. It nourishes us, provides a happy mood, cleans our body, increases its immunity, and keeps us looking and feeling healthy. For diet to not be a recommended lifestyle change with any disease is a disservice, in my opinion. However, I had to find a common ground with diet that satisfies me. When I set my mind to something, I follow the path I have laid out for myself. What I have discovered over the years is I can be a diet Nazi. The need to feel better has made me follow a diet to the T which also means to the point that I am mentally exhausted. This is where I have grown the most with diet. I have learned to let go a little and enjoy life.

In the past when following a strict diet, I have sat in restaurants watching others eat in fear of contaminating myself with a food. I have stressed myself out with each flare that I ate an unintended food. Although I am still conscious of what might have created a flare, I no longer do that. I now have a few basic rules for myself:

ALWAYS eat gluten free.
Enjoy foods like meat, vegetables, and fat. (restaurants provide well for this rule)
Have fun with meals and relax.

I do occasionally eat grains. Once a month my daughter and I go out for breakfast. We order gluten free pancakes (a huge serving of butter in place of syrup) with eggs and sausage. Doing it feels indulgent and fun! I have a glass or two of wine on the weekends with my husband. I like the relaxed feeling I have after a long week. I add half a serving of rice to my Chipotle meal that we have once a week. Sometimes I like to buy chocolate covered almonds with sea salt at Trader Joe's (if you haven't eaten them before, DON'T. They are highly addictive.) These are my some of my guilty indulgences. What I have found is that when I allow myself a list of indulgences, rather than following a super strict Nazi diet, I am mentally happier. This balance is the piece that was missing in the past. I can still feel the stress and pain in my body from past experiences of stressing so much over the food I ate.

The Paleo diet might mean something different to me than it means to someone else. To me, it is about

Choosing high quality foods for myself and my family.
Cooking at home 95-98% of the time.
Avoiding processed foods.
Finding fun in making things like fermented sauerkraut and kombucha.
Always having a carcass ready to throw in the slow cooker for bone broth.
Trying new vegetables.
Finding contentment in knowing I have a new stock of bacon grease in the refrigerator.
Discovering a new way to use a vegetable. Rather than using pasta with meatballs and sauce, we used shredded cabbage. Delicious. Vegetables can be used in a variety of ways that enhance a meal.
Planning ahead so that I always have food with me and not being embarrassed to pull out my own food.. If I know lunch will be served at work, I ALWAYS have a lunch bag full of food ready since generally lasagna or pizza is served. I can't tell you how many times people have commented that the food in my Thermos smells better than what they are eating. :)
Preparing food in the slow cooker on busy days.
Understanding that my body needs to be nourished and feeling satisfaction knowing that I am eating healthy foods in their original state.
Enjoying cooking. I have found that with simple ingredients like meat, vegetables, herbs and spices, along with some fat, creating meals is easy!
Hearing my son say, "Sweet potatoes with sausage and eggs are one of my favorite breakfasts." It is one of mine too. I am glad that eating Paleo has also created healthy eating for other family members.

Is my version of the Paleo diet perfect? Probably not. There are definitely a few things that need to be dialed in and when life isn't so stressful, they will be. But for right now, I think it is perfect for ME. My life is pretty stressed right now with a lot of work and family commitments, so finding a balance of what works is better than letting the diet go completely. What I have enjoyed about my journey with food is that it is always changing and always getting better!

I HATE winter!

2013-02-11T07:57:00.000-06:00

My family and I have lived in the Chicago area for almost 15 years now. The first few years I kind of liked winter here. Lots of snow was exciting and fun. However, over the years, I have found myself in a love/hate relationship with winter, leaning more on the HATE side. The first snow, I love. I get up early to make sure Izzy and I are the first walkers of the day. There is nothing better than the calm that comes after a snow. I come back from a long walk refreshed and happy, marveling in nature. It's the preceding days that I hate. The snow melts a little and refreezes. Each footprint in the snow has frozen over so when you try to avoid the slippery sidewalks, you end up nearly twisting an ankle as you walk on top of previous walker's boot prints. I find myself silently yelling at neighbors who don't shovel their sidewalks and neighbors who let their sump pump empty directly onto the sidewalk so there is a heavy sheet of ice. I end up returning home angry at the world and often that attitude stays with me all day. This is what happened yesterday. I took a walk and felt angry all day. My walks are what generally calm my mind and make the rest of the day doable. I feel like this time of the year, I struggle.

Yesterday, after it had rained the night before, my walk was miserable. A lot of the snow had melted but there were so many patches of ice on the sidewalk and in our yards that walking was more like participating in an obstacle course than being a serene time of the day. I worried about my border collie Izzy and myself slipping. I came home and told my husband, "I hate living here."

As I reflected on "I hate living here" later in the day, I realized I hate many things about winter. It seems like forever since we have had sunshine for more than a few hours at a time. Whenever the sun is out, I want to absorb as much as I can, as if my body is starving for it. By February, I am absolutely sick and tired of putting on four layers of pants, two shirts and my coat, a face mask, a hat, and then a big hat over that one along with big clunky gloves and boots to insure the Rayaund's in my hands and feet can make it through a 35-45 minute walk. I am tired of wiping down my border collie when we get home because she smells like a wet dog who then rubs herself all over the furniture. I am tired of having smashed down hair from wearing a hat everywhere I go, but know that without it, my ears which also seem to deal with Rayaund's, become so painful I can't handle it. I'm tired of brushing against a dirty car and looking out of windows that have dirt, salt, and other winter debris. I 'm tired of everything just being dirty! By February, whether we have tons of snow or not, I am tired of living in the Chicago area. I told my husband that I could handle the cold and snow if the sun was out. I think it is true. I think more than anything, I just miss the sun. I need it in a bad, bad way.

Today, I am going to focus on getting my mind out of the "hate" mode and back to a happy place. For starters, I am going to focus on the positive of winter:
1.
2.
3.
Help!!!!! I can't think of anything today! I know there are a few.

Ok, change of focus. Rather than focus on what I like about winter, I am going to spend time today visualizing myself on a beach with the sun shining down on me. I am going to take time to read encouraging words, meditate, make delicious food, and laugh (even if I have to force it). I'm going to clean the house and declutter my desk, because even though I can't take away the dirt outside, I can clean it up inside.

What do you do about winter blues?

My Truce with Fat

2013-02-01T08:59:00.000-06:00

Last year was full of good things, but in reality, way too many changes at once that consumed much of my time and energy. I entered 2013 feeling full of stress and 15 pounds heavier than I was when 2012 began. I knew I had to make some changes when classes and private tutoring started back up after the holidays.

My husband was getting ready to read Deepak Chopra's new book Super Brain: Unleashing the ExplosivePower of Your Mind to Maximize Health, Happiness, and Spiritual Well-Being, so I decided to join him. While I have skipped around the book a lot, what I found in one chapter has dramatically changed the course of how I am now choosing to organize my time and live my life. With 10-15 pounds to lose, I was drawn to the chapter on weight. Towards the end of the chapter Chopra says to “make a truce with fat.” A truce with fat? Exactly. Instead of feeling angry at the fat that has developed on my hips, stomach, and breasts, start looking at what is causing that fat. What is missing in my life that is causing that fat to be there?

It didn’t take long to answer that question, in fact, I have known for some time. While I love the teaching field I am in, I feel overworked and overstressed by the schedule I have set for myself. When I looked at my options, I knew there wasn't anything I felt ready to give up for now. So, I needed to find a way to work more efficiently so I am not spending 100% of my time thinking and worrying about what needs to be done next.

I scheduled specific days and times on my calendar to accomplish all of my “work”. Sundays are now official “non-work” days except for an online meeting I have once or twice a month. In 2012, they often ended up being non work days because I kept putting the work off, but all day I felt anxiety about not doing anything. Mentally taking the day off feels like it gives me so much more time during the day to enjoy things I want to do.
Rather than planning a whole afternoon to clean the house and then finding I am too tired, I am doing one or two small things a day. (The house is actually staying cleaner.)
On Tuesday and Thursday, I am either driving or teaching a class for 12-13 hours of the day. I have a short 1.5 hour break between daytime teaching and night teaching. In 2012, I rushed home to make dinner and eat which usually resulted in crappy meals and eating on the run. This year, I am preparing a meal the evening before and throwing it in the slow cooker before heading to work in the morning. Last night my husband asked, “You don’t have to work tonight?” I think he was surprised that I was casually sitting at the table eating with everyone else rather than rushing around before heading out.
I bought some Eucalyptus Epsom salt and have been treating myself to a hot bath when I get home.
I have made daily meditation a priority. Each day of meditation seems to calm my mind more and more throughout the day. If I plan my morning right, I can find 15 minutes to do this one thing for myself.
Rest. On Tuesday, I felt some rheumatoid arthritis pain and fatigue. I chose to spend thirty of my 1.5 hours at home napping. On Wednesday, I played hooky from half of my private tutoring students and laid in bed watching a movie. I have decided I am going to do more of this when my body begs for it.
Making daily goals that are small. My sister and I text each other every morning sharing one small goal that we want to work on. Sometimes we adopt the other’s goal and other days they are completely different. Having her support and encouragement, as well as having someone to be accountable to, has really changed my perspective during the day.
Laugh. I am really trying to make this more a part of my life. I like laughing and I know how great I feel when I do it, but I often let stress and schedules take over. Laughter is often what connects my family and in turn gives my day a powerful boost.

I have found that by simply scheduling my time to be a more efficient person, I am accomplishing more and reducing my stress levels a lot while also doing some luxurious things for myself such as napping, taking a bath, and enjoying a good laugh.

Most importantly, I have made a truce with my fat. Rather than using negative energy being angry at it for what is missing in my life, I have decided to embrace it and thank it for being a reminder that something is out of balance in my life. I have no doubts that as I find the missing pieces, the weight will no longer be needed and will melt away. For now, it feels good to take the focus away from something negative and instead put it into nourishing myself.

Vectra-DA - Testing Proteins for RA Patients

2013-01-20T07:44:00.002-06:00

In October, I saw my rheumatologist for my regularly scheduled appointment. We discussed my current blood work which except for white blood cells staying a little higher than she would like, everything else looked amazing. My SED rate and c-reactive protein have been consistently low and my liver looks good. She did share that the last round of hand x-rays showed some changes and she wanted to run a new blood test on me. She shared that even though I am feeling well overall and my blood work is coming back great, my RA could still be progressing and she wanted to run a newer test on me called Vectra-DA. According to their site, "Vectra DA works by measuring the levels of 12 important proteins in your blood."

It takes several weeks for the results to come back and what they sent me wasn't very detailed except to give me a number and say that my RA is now moderately active. On Friday I saw my rheumatologist to talk more about the test. First, I wanted to verify that the charges for the test would be covered. She assured me again that after insurance pays it part on the almost $1,000 bill, Vectra-DA will cover the rest. (RELIEF!!!) I then asked her if she learned enough from the test that she felt it was worth the price. She definitely did. According to my rheumy, there aren't enough tests available right now to chart our progression. SED rates and c-reactive proteins can easily be influenced by colds and other inflammation we have in our bodies. With the Vectra DA she can tell which proteins are being blocked which help her know if we are on the right track with medications. With a score of 20 or under, a rheumatologist knows they are on the right track and medications are working well. I have a score of 30, which is still good. (Yay me!) This score and the information she received allows her to see which proteins are and are not being blocked. (As someone who has fought medications for over half my diagnosis time, I still feel a little sick to my stomach thinking of something being blocked in my body on purpose. It may be blocking the RA from progressing, but I still wonder if it is blocking something that I need. Oh well, another topic for another day.) From the test she is able to see that Enbrel is working as planned for the most part. She can also tell that another protein is not being blocked and if down the line I find I am having more flares than I do now, we can switch to or add a medication that will block those proteins.

Her plan for now is to run the test every six months as long as it is being paid for so that we can see what direction my RA is going. I like this idea. I like that she has something that just might give a better picture of what is happening with my body. It gives me hope that a lot of others in pain might find the missing link to why certain medications are not working for them.

At the appointment we also discussed my trigger fingers which seem to be getting worse. She reminded me that if they get too difficult, we can do a cortisone shot. While I have accepted I need medications for now, I am still at a point that things will have to be worse for me than they are now to do an injection. As my young rheumy also reminded me of, I need to be more observant to when the trigger fingers are acting up. Is weather affecting them? Food? Stress? Unfortunately, I think it might be stress. :( I'm working on that one.

Has anyone else had the Vectra-DA? I am curious as to what others think of this test.

Not Making Resolutions, but Focusing on Small Changes

2012-12-30T15:24:00.001-06:00

For years now I have not understood the need for people to choose the beginning of a new year as the time to improve their lives. It always seemed to me that as soon as you see yourself slipping, it was time to make changes. Why wait until January 1st to make yourself better? What I realized this year is that sometimes life gets so busy that until you have time to stop and reflect, you don't even realize how much you have slipped or have time to consider how you are going to make things better.

2012 was a good year for me in so many ways. Most importantly my rheumatoid arthritis has been under control all year!!!! This has allowed me to accept a second teaching position at a local community college teaching English to adult language learners. Feeling good and able to move with ease has also allowed me to work one on one with students who I now private tutor. I love my job and to do full time what I love has been wonderful. Early in 2012 I joined RA Guy and Lene Anderson in forming Show Us Your Hands! Along with community members, the three of us produced a beautiful book showcasing what we can do with our hands while living with inflammatory arthritis. Recently we added directors that came in and got right to work doing amazing things. We are now a soon to be non-profit charitable organization. As far as my family goes, many new things happened with them too. My daughter started high school after a lifetime of homeschooling and loves it! She joined the cross country team and found that she loves to run. My son also started taking classes at the high school, only he is still considered a homeschooler as he only takes two electives and is home by 10am. My husband joined a band with awesome dudes and is writing all their songs. His songs are just as quirky as he is!!! I love it. Life has been good to us!

A good life can mean a busy exhausting life and if you have been reading my blog for any amount of time, you know I don't thrive on busy or exhaustion. I require a lot of down time. This year has provided a lot for me, but down time has not been one of those things. As a consequence, some things in my life have gotten out of control and although I was aware of it, it wasn't until I had some down time over the holidays that I could really reflect on what I want to do to get those things in order.

I have made enough drastic changes in my life to know that right now isn't the time to do anything big. I want to make small changes here and there that will benefit me long term rather than for a month or two. I don't have the time or energy to set myself up for big resolutions that I know I can't keep. So, rather than making a list of resolutions, I am making a list of thoughts and ideas that I believe will nourish me throughout the year.

Inspiration
I feel like 2013 is going to be a year of inspiration. I hope that through my work with Show Us Your Hands! and everyday life that I can be an inspiration to others. I want "inspire" to be at the front of my mind as I make simple every day choices. I also want "inspire" to guide me in my relationships so that I allow myself to be inspired by those who surround me.
Positive Energy
This is something I have been working on for a few years now and plan to continue in 2013. I want to continue surrounding myself with positive people and energy. I have many friends and family that drain my energy rather than focusing on my successes and allowing me to share in theirs. While I don't want to close any doors to these people, I will keep working on limiting my time with them and spending the time with those who want to find the joy of life.
Family
The best thing about this holiday season has been having down time with my family to watch movies, eat, drink, hug, smile, and just be. Being with my family makes me feel whole again. I want to remember this feeling and come back to it over and over and over in 2013.
Nature
This morning on my walk the sun was strong. I found my body requesting me to stop often, stand still, and absorb the sun. My walks with Izzy center me. Being in nature centers me. This year I want to take advantage of little and big pockets of time to enjoy everything about nature because when I do, I always feel a sense of completeness.
Weight/Stress
While I hate to focus on weight rather than health, I have struggled with keeping weight off this year and to tell the truth, I don't feel good about my physical self. I have been able to maintain a regular workout schedule and feel strong which is a plus. For the most part I have kept to a mostly paleo-type diet, although I have enjoyed way too many treats, which is definitely contributing to the weight gain. Overall though, I know that the amount of stress (good and bad) I have been under this year has kept the weight on. I feel like I am always on the go with expectations coming every which way. This coming year I will work on ways to get my stress and weight to a comfortable spot. I have a feeling I will have to try a variety of things, depending on where I am, but just knowing it will be a priority makes me feel calm.
Electronics
I love email, text messages, Facebook, and blogs. However, I feel that they can easily become an addiction. I took one week off from Facebook a few months ago and found that my brain felt clearer and I spent more time talking to my family, reading books, and just taking a moment to do absolutely nothing. I liked that feeling. I am not setting strict guidelines for myself, but I do know that I will use less of each this year.
Luxuries
One thing I did this year as my schedule became busier and busier was add little luxuries for myself here and there. I might take a bath one afternoon with a glass of wine or watch a TV show when I felt I should be cleaning, meeting a deadline, or completing some other responsibility. Indulging in these small things reminded me to take time for myself. It reminded me that before I can give to others, I have to take care of myself. I will of course be continuing this habit in 2013.

Overall this year I want to be good to myself. I want to meet my needs of down time and quiet so that I can be good to those I love. Despite my long "to do" list, I want to remember that I am special to many people. In all the chaos of life, I sometimes forget that about myself. This down time has reminded me that the people who have surrounded themselves with me have done so for a reason!

Thanks so much for reading my blog this year and for celebrating my successes of 2012. I hope great things come to you in 2013!


Alexander, Steve, Cathy, and Sophia

Your Example Will Inspire Others

2012-12-23T07:12:00.000-06:00

My holiday vacation started last week. With some extra time off, my teenage son and I met my husband for lunch one afternoon at PF Changs (they offer a gluten free menu!). After eating, the boys opened their fortune cookies and ate them. As always, I opened my cookie (not gluten free) and read the fortune. It said,

"Your example will inspire others."

Whoa! I read this fortune and felt a heavy sense of responsibility. As one person, I have the ability to smile at a person I pass, to say a kind word to a stranger, to open a door for another, to hug my family, to empty the dishwasher with a smile rather than a complaint, to change a negative conversation to a positive one......oh my gosh, the list goes on and on and on.

This fortune reminded me of a quote I found when my kids were young and one that I have read over and over again:

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration, I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

― Haim G. Ginott, Teacher and Child: A Book for Parents and Teachers

As my family and I have some down time together this holiday season and make our way out into the world, I am going to keep this reminder close to me. I am going to challenge myself to be an inspiration to others. I have put this tiny strip of paper in my wallet as it is opened frequently and allow it to be a reminder of the responsibility I have each day in every action I make.

The Gift of Walking

2012-12-21T08:23:00.002-06:00

As my readers know, I love early morning walks with my border collie, Izzy. Our walks are a great way for me to get my joints moving in the morning and allow me time at the beginning of the day to get my thoughts and feelings organized.

The night before last and all day yesterday, we experienced a lot of rain. My border collie has become very stubborn about taking walks in the rain - she won't do it! So, I didn't even bother yesterday. But, around 6:00 pm the weather changed from rain to wet snow with high winds. Izzy has absolutely no problem walking in the snow or wind. In fact, she loves it.

What I found by 6:00 pm last night was that I was getting as antsy about getting outside and walking as she was. I felt my body craving the walk. That is the great thing about setting healthy habits for yourself. Once they have been in place for a while, you crave them.

My daughter Sophia decided to join us. It was awesome to have a little time with her at the end of a school day and before she sat down to study for finals. I tested her on a few questions and then we had time to talk.

Walking is so simple, yet offers so many gifts in return. What healthy habits do you have for yourself?

Show Us Your Hands! Celebrates Its First Year

2012-12-15T08:28:00.002-06:00

Rheumatoid arthritis has been a part of my life for nine years now. When I look back at my beginnings with this disease, I vividly remember the anxiety that came with frequent tears and hyperventilation. I remember fearing the worst of what could happen to me because that is all I saw on the internet or read in books. I can still feel the panic I experienced when one book explained ways to have sex while living with rheumatoid arthritis. Seriously, would I have to make changes even in that department? The sad truth was I did. I had to figure out how to make life as a mother, wife, friend and teacher work.

When I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis in 2004, I quickly went from moderate RA to severe RA. I had several really tough years. One of my worst fears was that I would wake up in the morning and not be able to move. I started keeping a phone by my bed and whispered thoughts to myself that I would be able to reach the phone in the morning if I needed it. Some mornings it felt as if there was no way my body could move out of bed, but I did, even if it required help. My other fear was what I used to call "deformities" which I now refer to as "wonkiness" in my body. I feared my hands would change in extreme ways. Truthfully, the knuckles on my right hand do show signs of rheumatoid arthritis, but not anything extreme or that I can't appreciate at this point. Rather than a lot of joint changes, my body has decided to go with a multitude of nodules ranging in size from very small in my fingers to quite large in my elbows. (I laugh now because I didn't even know what a nodule was until I experienced them first hand.)

While dealing with extreme pain and fatigue, what I didn't realize when starting on my journey was that we are each unique in our experiences with an autoimmune disease. I didn't realize that the internet and books often focus on extreme cases or that the people that were doing okay with RA weren't on the internet talking about it because they were out living their lives.

Recently I had a Vectra-DA test run by my rheumatologist. According to this test, my rheumatoid arthritis is now at a "moderate" level. Moderate!!!!! I love that word. For the most part, my symptoms are under control. I have little reminders here and there that I have a disease in my body, but nothing extreme. Flares are now a rarity rather than a regular part of my life. Yes, we experience this disease differently and two and a half years ago, I would never have imagined I would be where I am now.

By sharing my experiences here, what I want to emphasize is that throughout my journey with rheumatoid arthritis, I have needed to find the positive of living with this disease. I have been active in the blogger community, clinging to any and all blogs that showed any hint of being positive in nature. I desperately needed to see other mothers continuing to love and care for their children even if it meant reinventing how they did this. I have rejoiced when reading about fellow bloggers that still enjoy the company of their spouse/partner. I have relished the stories of folks continuing to work jobs and do hobbies that they love. I have needed to know that people were out there living fulfilling lives.

Last year Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy posted on his blog and Facebook account asking the community for photos of their hands. He took each photo and put it into a collage. Sitting at my computer viewing the collage for the first time brought tears and more tears(and is again as I think back on my first viewing). For the first time in nine years I saw hands that came in all varieties. For some people, they had obviously experienced the worst case scenarios of our disease. But what shocked me was how many people had little to no changes in their hands. I wasn't the only one. Other people were like me!

I have been very fortunate to be a part of the Show Us Your Hands! community from early on. As I worked with RA Guy and Lene Anderson on the book Our Hands Can!, I read story after story of people that have dealt with a lot but in the end realized they still have much to give this world. Disease may take a lot from us, but finally I was hearing of people that were not letting inflammatory disease rule their lives. I have been amazed and in awe of the people who have shared their stories, both good and bad. I have gained strength from positive stories of knitters, artists, musicians, mothers, fathers, and more!

Today, Show Us Your Hands! celebrates one year as a community. I feel this abundance of gratitude to the Show Us Your Hands! team but especially to the community that continues to share their stories. Finally, I have a safe place to go and feel energized, while also sympathizing with those that are struggling. Thank you everyone for sharing and for being a positive force for me. As the Community Director of Show Us Your Hands! I look forward to sharing new community projects with you in the coming year.

Happy Holidays!

Discovering and Embracing Our Individual Gifts

2012-11-20T07:23:00.001-06:00

“According to this law [the law of Dharma], you have a unique talent and a unique way of expressing it. There is something that you can do better than anyone else in the whole world--and for every unique talent and unique expression of that talent, there are also unique needs. When these needs are matched with the creative expression of your talent, that is the spark that creates affluence. Expressing your talents to fulfill needs creates unlimited wealth and abundance.”

― Deepak Chopra

After each class on Tuesdays and Thursdays, a middle aged Cambodian student tells me that she "thanks the Lord every class for her teacher's patience." She always tells me that I have a gift. It is true. I have been given the gift of patience. It is a theme I see over and over on evaluations by my students and I think something that has made me successful as a teacher. I also believe this is why I enjoy teaching so much - I am using the gifts that I was meant to share.

Over the last few years I have been thinking about individual gifts more and more. I think the idea of individual gifts was first placed in my mind after reading The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success for Parents where Deepak Chopra said something along the lines of "our most important job as a parent is to help our children discover their individual gifts to this world." Thinking of each person with individual gifts has not only opened my mind to looking at what each person brings to this world, but also to take a good look at myself. It has made me appreciate my own gifts rather than focus on the gifts I wasn't given.

Sometimes though, when I surround myself with awesome people, I forget what my individual gifts and talents are and concentrate more on their strengths because I am in such awe of the things they can accomplish. While I think admiring others gifts is entirely what we are supposed to do, I realize that I sometimes let the balance tip to one side where I neglect to see my own place. This is when I know I need to take a step back and look at my life as a whole and see where my gifts are planting their seeds. I did this yesterday. I took a step back and realized how much is actually going on around me right now. It is a lot. My gifts are definitely presenting themselves, but at times I am not acknowledging where these gifts are being most shared or even where they are being least shared.

Right now my mom is in Pakistan. She is teaching parish nursing classes for 30 days. I have to say that I have never been more proud of my mom. She is in her early 70's, has severe fibromyalgia, Type II diabetes, and some other health concerns. Yet, she put all of this aside because sharing her gifts with the world was stronger than any health concerns. I am proud of my mom because she has made this amazing trip but most of all I am proud of her because she fully understands the gifts she has been given and embraces them. She made a connection with a fellow parish nurse and knew that she was the right person for this job. From her emails, it sounds like she was right. She had over 100 students and starts a new class today.

Each day I ask that I may share my individual gifts with the world and also acknowledge and encourage the gifts of those around me. Some days I am successful and other days not. I know this will be a forever challenge, but with each step I get closer to seeing those gifts in myself and others, the more I grow. We are each here for a reason, no matter what else is going on in our lives.

Here are a few examples from my week:

My reading class gave presentations last Thursday. One of my students was a teacher in Puerto Rico. She always uses Powerpoint for her presentations. This time around she brought her laptop in and had groups working on it and my computer as she taught them how to use Powerpoint. When I thanked her for this she smiled and said, "I just love helping people." A true example of how when we share our gifts, our own needs are met.
Saturday night I went with my husband to band practice and hung out with the other wives. My husband and I don't spend near enough time with other couples. I sometimes forget how funny he is. It is a true gift that when I recognize it again, it fills me with pride.
My fellow Show Us Your Hands! friends have tremendous gifts in organization, creativity, and punctuation skills among many others. Their gifts are often very different than mine but I always learn from them and feel amazed at their capabilities. I also appreciate that they respect and love me for my gifts.
Although I sometimes wish my gifts came out stronger when helping my family with their own issues, I know that is where my gifts are strong right now. I know I need to be gentler with myself and focus on what I am contributing rather than what I am not. By sharing my gifts I know my own needs will be met.

No matter what is going on in our lives, our gifts are always there and always ready to be shared. I hope that today allows you a chance to see your own gifts and to cherish them.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Be Gentle with Yourself! Rejuvenate!

2012-10-26T09:32:00.000-05:00

This has been a crazy, hectic, and stressful week of a teenager running a fever all week, a full week of work, some RA issues and life in general. This morning was my first morning all week where I wasn't rushed. I decided to do some gentle things that remind me of who I am and what brings me the most peace and happiness.

I slept in until 6:00am
I put a batch of pumpkin cranberry muffins in the oven. Baking just soothes my soul and calms me!
I made breakfast for Steve - sausage, eggs and a muffin so that he would have a little part of me with him all day.
I drove Sophia to school. This little bit of time together reminded me that I am not spoiling her by driving her instead of requiring she take the bus, but I am gaining a little time with my daughter that we both needed and wanted.
I went for a walk with Izzy enjoying all the beauty of fall.
I worked out hard,even including Izzy in my workout today which she loved. Rather than doing the short sprints by myself, I chased her around the back yard! She loves this! Me too!
I lit up some incense and meditated in front of the window where the sun was able to shine in on me.

I am curious, what do you do to rejuvenate? How are you gentle with yourself?

My beautiful daughter at homecoming.
How does this tie in with post? It just makes me happy.

Rheumatoid Arthritis and a 5k?

2012-10-21T09:50:00.000-05:00

Several months back I was listening to a podcast. The guest on the podcast shared her experiences of treating folks with disease. She said something along the lines of when a disease is in remission, we should not think of ourselves as having that disease but instead of having “tendencies” towards that disease. I really liked that. My rheumatologist hasn’t said that I am in remission but for the last year and a half my inflammation rates have been excellent, I haven’t had any major flare-ups, and I have been able to do anything I set my mind to physically. The only thing that seemed to be holding me back was the idea that I HAVE rheumatoid arthritis. What if I instead thought, “I have tendencies towards rheumatoid arthritis.” This new thought really opened up my mind to setting new goals for myself.

My daughter started running cross country over the summer for high school. I loved how she came home exhausted, yet had a feeling of energy about her. I knew she was working hard physically and mentally to keep going. I wanted that for myself. I decided that with my new thought pattern, I was going to set a goal for myself of running a 5K. My husband and son were on board to run with me.

I started my training off slow. My border collie Izzy and I walked for a ways and then jogged until I felt the need to stop. We walked and then if up to it, we jogged again. There is a lot of controversy about the benefits of jogging/running, but the look Izzy gave me each time I said, “run”, was worth any issues I may have experienced. When she started running I wanted to run. I wanted to feel that same freedom I saw in her. Whenever I thought I was going to stop due to lack of energy or muscles that wanted to stop, I refocused my mind on something else – much like we do with RA when experiencing a flare.

I have to admit that at first my hips and knees were sore. I ran one day, walked the next. At first I thought, “Oh, it is my rheumatoid arthritis causing this pain.” But then I stopped and remembered my new thought pattern. When my daughter started running, she complained about the same issues. Okay, not every ache and pain has to be contributed to rheumatoid arthritis. One thing I did do was buy a foam roller. This thing is magic. It was first bought for Sophia who was having some IT band issues. Soon, the whole family was using it. When used on areas that are tight, it can hurt, but afterwards you feel so much better. It is like giving yourself a little massage.

When I started this new journey of running a 5K, I made a deal with myself. I would honor my body above all else. If I felt RA slipping back, I would take a break and let my body heal. At first it didn’t seem like this would be an issue. After running for over a month, I was surprised at how quickly my endurance grew. I kept track of my time and mileage on a phone app and felt elated when it sent me an email telling me that I had run my furthest on record that day. When I finally met my goal of running 5K on my own, I felt on top of the world.

Then rheumatoid arthritis decided to make a comeback. The pain of first starting a new physical activity is different from that of rheumatoid arthritis and I knew the difference. My symptoms weren’t awful, but enough to make me stop and honor my body as I told myself I would do. Was I disappointed? You bet I was. My plan was to keep running so my time would be great when the actual 5K happened. The look of pride I had envisioned on my daughter’s face had kept me motivated through weeks of runs. I looked forward to taking photos of my husband, son, and me in our new Scarecrow Run shirts. I even dreamed of the blog post I would write after the run. After feeling the grief of new symptoms, I decided I wasn’t finished yet. I would take a short break from training and let rheumatoid arthritis do its thing and then get back on top of training before the 5K. I even convinced myself that I would be okay if it came down to a walk/run on the big night.

The 5K didn’t happen. It was last night. My RA “tendencies” have obviously become RA active. My feet, knee, and hips are aware that rheumatoid arthritis is a part of who I am, even when I try to dismiss it as reality. I have spent the last few days reflecting on my need to run this race. Why was it so important to me? Some ideas have come to mind.

·         I am 45. I am no longer a young chick. I was reminded of this at my rheumy appointment on Friday when the young nurse asked, “Are you still having menstrual cycles?”
·         Do I feel I need to prove to myself that I am still physically fit?
·         Did I want to prove to rheumatoid arthritis that it didn’t have control over my life? That I can outsmart it? That I am stronger than it?

Many thoughts have gone through my mind. The last few days have been a little blue. In addition to not being able to run the 5K, my rheumy said that despite my great blood work and overall feeling most of the time, I still have a lot of swelling on certain joints and my last x-rays showed thinning of bones in both hands. Plus, I have this new “trigger” thing in my fingers. She is running a Vectra DA to see if we can find out anything new.

I still like the idea of thinking of myself as having “tendencies” towards rheumatoid arthritis rather than “having” rheumatoid arthritis. I think sometimes the diagnosis can prevent us from setting new goals for ourselves and reaching those goals. I didn’t run the 5K last night as planned. Instead I helped my daughter prepare for her first homecoming dance. I didn’t miss out on the photos with her friends. I was there living in the moment with her. As I stood watching her in all of her beauty, I realized that this is where I find my peace of mind. This is where I don’t have to fight or prove anything. I can just be mom, my favorite thing to be. My desire to run this 5K was really about my internal battle with rheumatoid arthritis. It was a fight and I wanted to be the winner. In the end, I think I have won. I didn’t win by running the 5K. I won by challenging myself to do something big and making that challenge come true. I can run a 5K. My RunKeeper app can prove it! I won by listening to my body above all else. And I won by participating in my daughter’s special day – a day that brought both pleasure to her and me. Life will never go as planned with or without rheumatoid arthritis. When I let my negativity and need to prove myself as the winner with rheumatoid arthritis, I lose. This is the part I am still working on.

I had my husband go ahead and pick up our shirts because we paid for them and also because it is a good reminder to me of what I have accomplished and what I still need to work towards in my battle with rheumatoid arthritis.

Moving Beyond Rheumatoid Arthritis

2012-10-12T16:36:00.004-05:00

Two years ago I made some dramatic changes in my life. I returned to medications and once again tweaked my diet to one that I feel will last a lifetime. The combination of medications and diet has been good. For the most part, the inflammation in my body has calmed down and I am able to enjoy life do...

Read the rest of this post here.

On the Same Team

2012-10-12T07:48:00.003-05:00

Last night was night two of a new class I am teaching. As students arrived, I asked them about their families and jobs. When I got to a gentleman in his early sixties, he said he doesn't work. He was just approved for disability. Of course I asked what his disability is and he said, "rheumatoid arthritis". I immediately shared with him that I too have rheumatoid arthritis. He explained his symptoms and I asked what time of the day they are the worse. He said it changes during the day. (I was nodding my head as he talked). I then said, "It is weird because it changes during the day and people are always confused and think......" Just as I was finishing my sentence we both said at the same time, "you are okay." We both laughed.

It is funny when you actually meet another person face to face that deals with the same issues as you do. The connection is instant. You can never look at the same person the same again. They are automatically on your team. Even his wife, who listened quietly nodding her head, became a member of my team. This is a tough team to be on, but it sure it nice to be in the presence of someone else that really gets what you are talking about.

Join the Show Us Your Hands! Board!

2012-10-10T16:10:00.000-05:00

Show Us Your Hands! is moving to the next level. We are beginning the process of becoming an official nonprofit charity organization in order to continue organizing creative community projects and awareness campaigns aimed at increasing public understanding of inflammatory arthritis. This means we need to grow our Board of Directors.

This is where you come in!

As a member of the Show Us Your Hands! Board of Directors, your responsibilities would include:

defining our Mission and ensuring we stay on course,
developing an annual plan and managing programs to accomplish our Mission,
implementing and maintaining transparent financial systems, budgets and accounting controls,
supporting and engaging in fundraising efforts,
internal board management, such as electing officers and replacing outgoing Directors,
establishing and overseeing special-issues committees (e.g., community outreach, volunteers, awareness programs, special events), and
helping promote Show Us Your Hands! and its activities to the public.

Our organizational culture is one that emphasizes proactive teamwork, respect and a sense of humor. We believe in the inflammatory arthritis community and in this organization and work hard for the love of the cause. (This is another way of saying that this is a volunteer unpaid position!)

If you are committed to working at the global grassroots level to unite and inspire people who live with inflammatory arthritis, please let us know by responding to a few questions before November 1, 2012. We will carefully review all submissions and then contact selected individuals in order to schedule brief online interviews.

Experience with finance and accounting is a plus.

Apply now to join the Show Us Your Hands! Board of Directors.

Back to School Guide for Parents with Rheumatoid Arthritis

2012-09-04T11:08:00.000-05:00

Check out this month's post at Health Central on back to school tips for parents with rheumatoid arthritis.

Do you have other ideas?

Going with the Grain

2012-07-30T07:04:00.000-05:00

Last Friday my daughter and I went to pick up our veggies from our CSA. After greeting us, Farmer Steve asked if we had gone through the "U Pick". I asked which veggies were available to pick ourselves. He happily answered, "Cherry tomatoes." Without thinking my face wrinkled up, I stuck out my tongue, and I said, "Oh No! YUCK." I surprised him and myself. He said, "That is not the reaction I usually get." I shared my story of being maybe four years old and returning home from my grandpa's garden with the back of our Toyota full of veggies. The cherry tomatoes looked so beautiful that I couldn't resist trying just one. Forty years later, I can still feel the awful experience of popping that warm cherry tomato into my mouth and tasting the juices as they exploded into my mouth. I HATED the taste! To this day the thought of eating a cherry tomato still makes me sick.

Farmer Steve knows me from years ago when the kids and I spent a lot of time on the farm volunteering. After sharing my story he said, "Cathy, you are always going against the grain, aren't you?" I knew he wasn't talking just about not eating cherry tomatoes but also how I have eaten for the last eight years and how I have chose to educate my children, among other things.

Well, this year we will not be going against the grain when it comes to schooling. For the first time ever my children will be attending school. Sophia will be a freshman and Alexander a junior. After spending their previous years playing, exploring and even experiencing a feeling that I believe many children are lacking in - boredom, they are ready to find out what this whole school thing is about.

I do need to clarify that we aren't totally going WITH the grain. Sophia will be a full time student but Alexander will be going part-time. He will take two electives. His school day will be complete by 9:30am. As a part-time student he is able to participate in all extra curricular activities. Sophia has already started cross country training and Alexander will start next week.

Many people have asked in a worried voice, "How do you feel about this?" Truly, I am excited. When we chose to educate them in a way that is even alternative to homeschooling, the intent was that they followed their passions rather than a curriculum designed by strangers. Right now school seems to be the route that allows them to meet their current needs. Alexander chose to not go full time because he LOVES learning new things in a way that works very well for him and is afraid the staleness of a classroom may rob him of that love. Instead he chose to take two classes that he has found difficult to learn on his own.

I have always wanted my children to have choices and not feel they were doomed to a one track way of life. Right now this is the path they both want to take and I can't be anything other than happy for them. In fact, it has created a renewed closeness with myself and Sophia that I am absolutely loving!!!! I see her as a very determined teen who will make things happen for herself and right now public school seems to be the route she needs to take. She is a woman that needs to experience things - reading about them isn't enough.

As we move into this new world of public school, I do sometimes feel pulled towards the grain a little more than I want to, but when you know that it is meeting the needs of your children, it is worth it. Besides that, knowing who I am and who my children are, I can't see us buying into everything or ever totally going with the grain. It just isn't who we are.

Please wish us luck on this new journey. I know it will come with surprises, disappointments, and also many great memories.

It's My Pleasure

2012-07-17T09:10:00.000-05:00

In the midst of trying to eliminate time away from home, I was offered a summer teaching assignment at a community college I have been trying to get into for several years. After discussing it with my family, we decided that taking the assignment was a good idea even though it means I am away from home every Saturday and Sunday morning throughout the summer. Long term it will allow for hours that will work best for my family's schedule.

I have to admit that I have loved this assignment. I have been teaching adult ESL (English as a Second Language) for 12 years and this is one of the most interesting groups of students I have ever taught. First of all, most of the students are 50 years or older and they come from a variety of countries: Vietnam, Albania, Russia, Pakistan, India, Mexico, and China. I have two married couples which is always fun. Along with being the most diverse in countries and the oldest group I have ever taught, this group is also the lowest in their English proficiency skills.

One of the amazing things about this group of students is their ability to work cooperatively. One self made group consists of women from China, Vietnam, and Russia. Watching them explain assignments together is unbelievable. They struggle, they laugh, and they work it out - often doing a better job of teaching the content than me. They speak very little English but keep a watchful eye out for each other and are very generous with the knowledge they do have. Giving exams is not easy because they really want to help each other and tend to let their partner know if they have made a mistake. I just love how my student from Albania sits alone at his table until he sees his friend from Vietnam show up and immediately his eyes light up and they start talking. What they talk about I have no idea, but they often have their translators out and find pictures in their books to get their messages across. Plus, they are both very proud of their drivers licenses and often have them out showing them off since they are fairly new!

As my students pack up their books to leave for the day I always thank them for coming to class. They always respond back, "No Teacher, thank you." (Gratitude from my students is a nice bonus that comes with my job!) What I have started saying to my students is, "It's my pleasure." I said this one day out of the blue because I truly feel that way. I was pleasantly surprised at how happy a few of the students who understood "pleasure" looked when I said it. I think it is important to know that the person who is motivating you wants to be there. I certainly do. I love my job and I feel thankful each semester that I am given another chance to work with such beautiful people.