The Life and Times of an Indian Home Maker

JORU KA GULAM BADGES ;)

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:05:00 +0000

Along with a new definition for Joru Ka Gulam we had also requested for contributions for the JKG Badge Contest. We received nine entries. JKG Kislay, our Honor'ble Judge had no hope for mutton biryani (or any bribe in any other form) because we went out of our way to hide all the names from him (except one).

So please treat him now!!

And please don't forget to mention which one is your favorite and most suitable for the Reader's Choice Award.

1.

By Aritra Chatterjee :)

This badge created by Aritra Chatterjee has been chosen by our honor'ble judge, HRE JKG Kislay Chandra, as the 'Official JKG Badge'.

2.

By Freya.

JKG Kislay also loved this badge and declared it the second official JKG Badge.

3.

This badge by Solilo Don is his third choice :)

When a man says "I make hot rotis for my wife.", he might find himself being called a Joru Ka Gulam.

4.

By Freya again :)

This is the coolest looking badge for a sidebar!!

5.
By Homecooked.

Homecooked created this cute looking badge. Traditionally any man who shows affection to his wife is labelled a Joru Ka Gulam.

6.
By Vikas Gupta.

Is chosen by JKG Kislay for

JUDGES' SPECIAL MENTION AWARD

JKG Vikas Gupta II Vikas's Entry Number 3 touches upon the expectation that a woman must change her surname to her husband's when she is married A man is not expected to make any changes to his name though. Any man who does not insist upon this surname changing (sometimes even the first name is changed) risks being labelled a Joru Ka Gulam.

7.
This one is by Freya, thank you for calling him JKG-IN-CHIEF Freya :)

SRK JKG in chief

He's extremely popular amongst women, not just because he is considered hot but because he has changed the way Bollywood husbands spoke of their wives i.e. NEVER!

SRK is not a super star for nothing. He is a feminist and he is not apologetic about it. I have blogged about this here and here.

8.

This badge by Freya emphasises the belief we have that some chores are too lowly for men (so women should do them).

It's often the mothers and even wives who object to men doing these chores. So if a man says he doesn't mind doing the dishes, there's horror and embarrassment for the wife, "Did she actually let him do the dishes!!!"

When he says he loves doing the dishes?

... scandal.

9.
This badge is also created by Freya ... thank you for your contributions Freya!

It's expected of women to be devoted and 'obedient' to their husbands, if a man as much as shows affection he is declared henpecked. The best answer to any such labelling is to wear it with pride.

Which one did you like the best?!
Please choose which badge deserves the Reader's Choice Award!

Why Do Women Like Shah Rukh Khan?

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Thu, 28 May 2009 08:16:00 +0000

Amongst a million zillion other reasons…

In an interview with Simi Garewal she asks him. (Writing from memory, there are sure to be many errors).

“You are sensitive. You respect women. You love your wife! You understand how women feel (etc) … do you think that makes you a little like a woman in some ways? …Effeminate? ”

I have no doubts that even the coolest JKGs would have been unhappy to hear this last line. We know what this question can imply. And how it can label a man in India!

(If a man is described as a woman it means, he is weak, he gossips, he quarrels, he has no muscles, he is a bad driver, he loves to make gajar ka halwa for his spouse, women do not think he is attractive, he pouts if he does not get enough attention from his spouse, he puts his family before his career, he cries easily… etc ).

So what does Shahrukh Khan say? He couldn’t possibly have started a tirade against stereotypes, (which would have been great, though!), so he takes a short cut. He gets his famous look on his face and says,

“.… to be compared to a woman is an honor. I have a lot of a woman in me.”

There was more and it got Simi Garewal her famous ‘awww’ look on her face.

Simi Garewal like many of us believes that Mamta Banerji, Kiran Bedi, my maid who dragged her neighbour off the water tanker with his hair, my other maid who has been thrown out of her house, Mayawati, my grandmother who read Ramayana every morning, Sushma Swaraj, Sonia Gandhi, Pooja Chopra’s mother can all be described very simply in one word, ‘sensitive’. And if a man is sensitive he is being ‘like a woman’.

Most people are wary of labels, because labels put an official stamp on stereotypes, but in India the biggest insult for a man is to tell him he is like a woman. Shahrukh Khan made a compliment of it. Here’s a man who shamelessly flaunts his sensitivity. Dares to show he cares. Loves his family, loves even the daughter. What’s amazing, he talks about his wife with ease, how they met, how they fell in love, and since he is sincere he epitomizes the kind of guy many Indian girls can take home to their mothers.

So how can I object to his using my blog name for a book on his life?

Solilo sent me this, Thank You Solilo!

How tempting and how impossible!

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Tue, 26 May 2009 16:30:00 +0000

I didn’t mean for this post to be so long, but once started, it was impossible to stop… I had not realised how tempting it would be to include every single post I loved in this Award Ceremony… and how impossible!! The blogosphere is a treasure house!! I know I have still managed to miss some of my very favorite and very regularly read blogs. The last three days were a punishment, I always wanted to add just one more name or link, and then realised this way the AWARD CEREMONY will never begin! So without any editing and without further ado…

OF LINKS AND URLs… a request

Please do add your blog url while commenting, it makes it easier for readers to hop over to your blog. I have also included my blog url to my email as my signature, I wish others did the same specially when we want to share something on our blogs via email, giving a link is of great help.

And now for the formal ceremony…

First my warmest (and now official) thanks to the two who saved this blog from being header-less

Chirag: Chirag has shifted many blogs, and created beautiful headers and taught us how to add a Blog Roll in Word Press (I still haven’t managed it)… His blog showcases his creativity. Chirag also created this arty header, I wanted a header as close to my Blogspot Header as possible, and only Chirag could have done it so beautifully!

Thank You Chirag!

Solilo:-I admire her beautiful blog, her ever changing headers, her originality in presenting ‘house-warming gifts’…err ‘blog warming gifts’ to fellow bloggers, and this beautiful header was a surprise by Solilo

I grab this opportunity to express my gratitude and delight. Thank You Solilo!

A long overdue formal and official thanks to some of the lovely awards received since the last Awards Night

I would like to thank….

Mr Balvinder Singh. His blog is amongst the wisest voices in the blogosphere. I can only nod and eagerly agree when I read his posts on politics, religion, tolerance, even parenting. He also writes delightful posts on Army life and his amazing, sometimes absolutely unbelievable experiences

I gratefully thank him for,

1conoclast is known for his courageous posts against intolerance, communalism and violence. He is on a long blog break but I am sure he is celebrating the victory of Democracy over the forces of hate. I sure miss his posts and comments, hope to see him back in the blogosphere soon. I share this award with another blogger, Milind Kher. Thank You for this Statuette 1conoclast.

1conoclast’s World Peace Award 2008

Reema - A blogger who switched from Blogger to WordPress and changes her blog theme frequently , and manages to make each new theme feel like her random thoughts had awarded me this certificate. I thank her for this appreciation I am so proud of Thank You Reema!

(Awarded for- No Jeans for an Indian Daughter in law.)

The Super Blogger Award! Thank You Kislay!

Kislay had announced the Super Blogger Award in a comment and I wondered (half jokingly) about a badge for the award, and to my surprise and delight soon received this via email Thank You Kislay! This really means a lot to me! And if the award can be passed on, you are the Super Blogger I’d like to pass it to!

Kislay’s posts are passionate and heartfelt. I loved his post on The Idea of a Nation the best! In these divisive, intolerant times we should all read and think about what he has written!!

And now a very special award for three very special women…

This award goes to the three wonderful women who took the initiative to create No Gender Inequality - Usha Pisharody, Solilo and Indyeah. I just want to say, I am very proud to be with you, as a part of the NGI team.

Indyeah gave me the Resonance Award Thank You Indyeah! The award means a lot to me but even more precious are your wonderful words that came with this award. An overwhelmed, humbled but very delighted thanks to you!

Resonance Award goes to those bloggers whose posts and comments touch the chords of your heart…

And now it’s my turn to pass the awards !!

It gives me great pleasure to present the Resonance Award to….

Alankrita for her precious, encouraging, objective and simply brilliant comments. One of her comments became a post (each one of them deserves to become a post!) She is the one who made me see there is no need to apologise for being a feminist.

Annie Zaidi for saying, ‘when it comes to the word feminist, “I don’t care how you define it. I am it‘. Here’s what she has to say about how most Indians learn about rape.

Tazeen is from Karachi and her courageous blog lets us see how much we have in common. They have gender issues and fundamentalism, incompetence in sarkari offices, indifferent police… and similar angry tirade against voices that speak up. (From misguided readers).

Ritu for Being a Single Mom along with each one of her other posts. She says she is not the kind of single mom who says, “Mere Karan Arjun zaroor ayenge“, she is the kind of single mum whose sons will warn, “Stop or my mum will shoot!”

Madmomma for Dear Jarnail Singh. (All her political posts actually)

Aparna V Singh “Whom are public spaces meant for? Mostly not for women.” Aparna’s blog is one place which delayed this post… all I wanted was a link, but found unread posts…

Mr J P Joshi: I love his posts on politics and India. His is an amazing, wise voice in a blogosphere full of divides!

Tearsndreams Has only words to dissect if men are from Mars and women from Venus…

Poonam J the wisdom in her posts …and her lovely comments.

Unmana for her belief in individual freedom which automatically includes the rights of women and I truly appreciate her comments on issues that strike a chord with her.

Indyeah (Yes you get your own award too) for ‘Why are you sending me away father?Why?Did I do something wrong?Was it my fault?” (Child marriages in India)

Monika Manchanda for all her posts, specially about her darling prince… but there are some favorites, and one is about how one must learn to live without fear. I found that inspiring.

Solilo for her being a woman of conviction by supporting another woman of conviction! …“The present political parties had made ‘democracy for politicians, by politicians, of politicians’.

Iya for her lovely posts, I particularly loved the post about a young boy lighing candles by the side walk…. we who can overlook street sexual offenses will take serious offense to anything like this in India! Aren’t we so confused!?

Nita for her brilliant, well researced, objectively written posts on every subject under the sun, from premarital sex, to movie reviews, to terrorism, gender bias including blaming of the victims, poverty, elections and all that can be called current affairs. Her blog is the place to go to if we need to stay in touch with the world.

Sraboney has already been awarded the Gem Picker Award – her versatility is amazing. …but I admire her for much more than that. She can be precise, she can say a lot in very few words, her comments are as well written as her blog posts. I admire that immensely. She is a mother, a journalist, a feminist and an amazing blogger. Here’s a post of hers that got me very worried.

Charakan for his clarity, objectivity and research. His posts have often broken some of the myths and lies that we sometimes read in the media. His post on Dr Binayak Sen, The Doctor in Jail without Bail should be read by all…(amongst many others).[Breaking News: Dr Sen has been released on bail on health grounds]

Nimmy – a strong feminist who remains one of my favorite bloggers although she is not blogging anymore, the gems in her collection of posts are a treasure. I hope we see her back in the blogosphere again sometime.

Pixie for ‘He is the one who keeps a hot meal ready when I go home late, …Do I feel guilty that he does so much? NO.
Why? Because I do the very same for him… when the man does the same for his wife – he is either “Joru Ka Gulam” or the lady is very “lucky”!!
Isn’t it but natural for the husband to be equally, if not more supportive of his wife’s career, life?

Sandeep Bansal of Looking Beyond the Obvious for his brilliant, objective political analysis. Including one on why did India manage to stick with Democracy.

Siddharth Singhof Bigot Blog for “I’ll become BJP’s greatest supporter the day they promise (and implement) to build lakhs of toilets around the country, especially for women, instead of a Ram Mandir. One must not play with fire and history.”

Churmuri for ‘‘Fitting finale to five years of foolish opposition’. And ‘Why god’s own Party, the BJP- is in such a mess.’

Quirky Indian for “Freedom of speech and expression can never be compromised. Because once you compromise and give in to one pressure group – however loud or violent their methods, or however hurt they may be – you have opened the doors for everyone else to come in.“

Received from Homecooked and Mandira … Thank You Mandira! Thank You Home cooked!

And to welcome new friends, (and some old ones) the Friends Award goes to,

Imp’s Mom , Liju Philip, Mandira, Stuti Chandra, Mampi , Priyanka, Aathira, Reema, Ritu Harish, amit, Sashu, Aneela Z , Kajal, aneri_masi, Pearl, Tara Bhatt, Biju Mathews , Saritha, Jira (loved her Swallows post and photographs!), Chikki , Unmana, Dhanya, Surbhi, Minal, Krishna Aradhi , OG, Abha , Keatsunshinegirl, Mamma mia! Me a mamma? RDB, Mavin Poonam Joshi, My head trip, Monika,Ansh , Z@ki-R , Devil Incarnate , RDB, freespirit , Spontaneous Mini ,Goofy Mumma , Rashi, D , Piper, R.V , G, Pinku , Sandhya , Varun ,Ketan, Aaarti, Pinku and Winnie the poohi.

And also to some bloggers in my bog roll with sentences for names

Cofffee is my poison I am what I am (Gunmeen) How do we know? Does it matter? Mamma mia me a mamma?

Some bloggers we get to know through their comments more than through their posts! These amazing commentators, they are the ones without whom there would be little inspiration left to write …the Lovely Blogger Award goes to…

Crafty Shines I came to know her through her warm, chirpy, bubbly comments and then went and read her beautiful posts…and her lovely crafty creations!

Abha A feminist, a peace loving, aware citizen, when I asked for advise in ‘Don’t fall in love now’ … I knew just what she as going to say!

Dew drop dreams, Imp’s Mom , Mandira, Mampi , Aathira, Masood, amit, Sashu, Aneela Z ,aneri_masi, Tara Bhatt, Biju Mathews , Saritha, Chikki, Rakesh, Cilla, Keatsunshinegirl, Mamma mia! Me a mamma? Devil Incarnate , RDB, freespirit , D , Kislay, Sandhya ,,Ketan RDB, Poonam Joshi, and Winnie the poohi

Badz who we got to know though her comments is finally blogging – Welcome Badz

Homecooked I would like to pass the award back to you for all your wonderful recipes and your encouraging comments

Pixie for being so clear and confident and courageous in knowing she is right to expect equality.

Alankrita her comments always, but always have me nodding my head in total agreement.

Indyeah … no need to mention her here, everybody knows the Comment Monster …the Comment Queen Her enthusiasm and energy is amazing. She is tough competition for…

Hitchwriter who also aspires to be a Comment Monster Hitchwriter’s hilarious comments are a delight, but he can also make us cry when he starts writing his sensitive posts.

Vimmuuu is the funny comments monster but he has been challenged by Hitchwriter, who also likes to be the first on every blog. (My job was to warn I have done that, now it’s up to them)

Usha Pisharody these days finds very little time to write and read blogs but her comments are an insight into her mind...I feel I know her better through her comments than even her posts, and through her lovely poetry. Like I knew of her love for dogs and cats, well before she blogged about her fondness for animals

The JKG AWARD (Badge follows soon)

Other JKGs in the blogosphere are also requested to accept claim their award (badge follows)

Quirky Indian’s brilliant, encouraging comments during the Pink Chaddi Campaign- one of the very few men who did. He’s a feminist and and amongst the few men in the blogosphere who include crimes against women in current affairs and News.

Masood can compete with my favorite JKG – Shahrukh Khan… !! Need proof read ‘I miss you’!

Astralwicks. Anish Thomas.

Kislay blogged about sexism in office. And about the hypocrisy double standards we have when it comes to Virginity.

Hitchwriter and Chirag are feminists. JKGs too. Hitchwriter claims that he does not even eat hot hot chappaties now.

Vishesh wondered in a comment, if we notice a girl’s room is in a mess because we expect a girl to keep her room clean? (unlike boys)

Sunder He’s is for saying no to gender inequality.

Rakesh We know him as much through his comments as his posts, and his comment in Dutt rhymes proves he is a JKG.

Chikki For all his posts, his intelligent comments and his brilliant ability to debate. His thought provoking comment got me to write a post about jeans and married women…Thank You Chikki! (And hence Reema’s certificate)

Biju Mathews hope to see you back in the blogosphere soon!

This award came to me from Indyeah.

Thank You Indyeah! It gives me great pleasure to share this award with with these Versatile Bloggers..

Winnie the Poohi can write on anything!! She writes 55ers, poetry, long posts, fiction, posts that touch a chord and posts that can make you smile Her review posts are a brilliant initiative and a what a treat even for those who are looking for nice new blogs to read!

And Masood who can show us what one man can do -if he chooses to. (And he chose). He also conveyed that “the most diverse nation on Earth, with hundreds of languages, all religions and culture, is not only surviving, but thriving.” Proven correct after the election result

Solilo, Usha , Indyeah, Goofy Mamma, Imp’s Mom, Iya, Sahaja, Astralwicks, Swati, Smitha, Monika, Amit and so many more. Remind me if you are versatile and I have not mentionnd you please

Chirag Who can write on technology and politics and religion and feminism with equal ease.

Anrosh for all her thought provoking posts, I loved her post in response to Sagarika’s article on Pink Chaddi Campaign, and recently loved ‘Beyond borders, caste, religion – finding hope and sustenance to live and let live.’ … we need these posts, because sometimes even when we are ready to be global citizens, we refuse to be Indian citizens …

Mampi is missing from the blogosphere… Love her movie reviews, family posts and her hilarious hair styling experience and her comments. And I miss reading her posts while listening to her music…

Abha’s beautiful stories of CubbyR are a lot of fun, but equally interesting, and even more revealing of her wisdom are her comments. I appreciate and look forward to each one of them.

Smitha for all her well written posts, and her opinions. I love the objectivity in her posts, and would love to be able to do that! Here’s a link to one of the recent gems I loved.

Shail for her lovely poetry and funny, delightful glimpses into her life… and also for her encouraging comments on my posts on gender issues. I really feel like clapping after many, many of her passionate comments.

Saritha for her mommy posts and her collections of video, jokes and cartoon clips…

Mr Gopinath for “No “Paraya Dhan” stuff for me. Daughters, not Diamonds, are forever! Needless to say, “I’m Loving It!” (McDonalds)”

Mr Balvinder Singh for “..I did not realize that I had done something very wrong until I reached home. My Mother nearly fainted when she opened the door to let me in. Within minutes our house was swarmed by sympathising neighbours, some of them consoling my mother and few others passing comments in my support.“

Kanagu is a new friend and I love the diverse topics he covers from travel to social issues to current events… my favorite is this one.

Destination Infinity Love all his writing, but my one favorite is ‘Behind the bars’. He is amazingly creative and has the same blog both in WordPress and in Blogspot. I switched to WordPress only after reading his very informative post.

Priyanka for her an unstopable mind.

Thank You Sahaja I loved your words as much as the award!!

And this award goes to everybody on my Blog Roll including you Sahaja … if I comment on your blog, this award is yours Or if you comment on my blog the award is yours

From Sahaja

Thank You Sahaja Truly honored that you thought of me while giving away this award…

This award goes to all the women who refuse to apologise for being Feminists. And who understand what a being Feminists means. Also for all JKGs.(Joru Ke Ghulam) This Garland is all yours if you qualify… read the [link] to see what conditions apply!

CONDITIONS APPLY

I received this award from Homecooked and Mandira. I am delighted to know that they think I blog with a purpose (I do, for more than one purpose, or causes)

I would like to pass it on to bloggers who blog with a purpose, other than the pure pleasure of writing.

Surbhi for “The new and improved ‘desi girl’ has decided she isn’t going to wait for help – she will help herself. She is not the martyr – she is the marauder out to reclaim her life. The knight in shining armour has finally been laid to rest, bless his soul. The change is here, and the change is her. Maa di laadli bigad gayi, so, enna rascala, mind it!”

And to Usha, Solilo and Indyeah for No Gender Equality … this award is for the blogs, and also for the bloggers who work for these causes.

To Roop for Unchahi.

Gauri Gharpure for her wise words all the time. This post about a baby cobra is one amongst the many of her posts I love… and they also make me respect the person behind these posts.

Piper for beautiful posts and one that made me sad but also hopeful … if we can see this maybe others can too… “And today as I wake up, still not out of bed, those eyes..they flash in front of me for one solitary second. And I think to myself.
But He was Born Free. Oh He was Born Free!
No one Should take that away from him, don’t you think..“

Nitwit Nastik for writing against the misinterpretation of religion.

Spontaneous Mini … we share a love for all creatures big and small.

Goofy Mumma for her post on animals rights.(and the Bishnoi people)

Aathira for adding her angst at the way animals are treated to her list emotional atyachaar.

Reema, Piper, M4, Hitchwriter, Goofy Mamma, Aathira, Aaarti, Coffeismypoison, Spontaneous Mini, Usha Pisharody and Corinne Rodrigues for their clear views about the other animals on this planet. For the compassion they have. I am glad I met you

Aneri Maasi for her concern and her causes.

Triple award goes to .…

Devil Incarnate, Sandhya, Pinku, Ritu Harish, RV, Sahaja, Stuti (Welcome!), Gunmeen and RDB.

Mampi who is a dear friend …and although rather busy these days, her lovely posts cannot be forgotten. I loved her posts and her comments both, and miss both too. Hope to see her back, with her frank opinions

Amrutha for “My upbringing in a Hindu mission school taught me to respect others’ faiths and beliefs and not try to convert. My conscience taught me believe in the inherent freedom of the individual to do what he/she deems right. My study of women’s studies taught me that women are disadvantaged. My sense of justice taught me to fight for that equality in reality.”

Aneela for many of her posts specially the recent one (I just couldn’t find this one Aneela) of her concerns about bringing a baby in this world full of strife, I share the sentiment, and so do millions of mothers across the world. I wish all mothers realised how much difference we can make if we realise the power in our hands, if the hand that rocks the cradle also guided the baby that crawls or bounds out of it. And the Tale of two images… just two pictures and they say so much. Will we ever go back in time?

Philip for, ‘Advani has gone to the gym in the morning. My prediction that Advani will NEVER become the PM of India came true… his new found love for exercising…. Unfortunately, there can be no cure for his crooked and power hungry mind.”

Stuti for her beautiful posts that strike a chord. And welcome to the blogosphere

Anish Thomas for “and probably most sensible election after 1977″.

Pearl for her Dev D review, “what I loved about Dev D was the fact that despite characters in the movie that included – one sexually liberated girl and one prostitute all the women kept their clothes on.“

Vishesh for his beautiful, thought provoking poetry and for his brilliant idea of LOL Challenge. And this one has to go to Indyeah too!

Nancy for reminding me of how I was crushed too and how many times, and how I can never make up my mind between George Clooney and Shahrukh Khan.

G for her rolled up jeans… Welcome back

M4 for making me laugh aloud by sharing a moment when siblings stop fighting and thank you (yes, actually thank you!) for giving them each other

Mystic margarita an ENFP Personality type for I am a woman Edited to add: The best of all, What women want, a lessons from Mahabharata!!

Indyeah for making me cry while reading her post about her dad.

Ketan Panchal for - “Also, when one gets too obsessed with their communities their OWN life gets neglected. Is it difficult to understand that all those who resort to violence to prove a (communal) point, apart from harming others, are wasting their OWN lives? Who’ll be able to explain this to them?“

Couch Clown for “Those who claim that religion is not to blame for incidents such as this take heed: if there were no religion, those who advocate and enforce such barbarities would have no power. It is religion that gives them that power“ Hope to read many more good posts from you!

Freespirit for Epitome of womanhood and for SHE WILL BE LOVED.

The Survivor – It’s good to see men speak up against Gender Bias. And the Survivor does that in this post, street sexual assaults from a man;s point of view here.

D for The Apologetic Feminist and her beautiful Indian summer and We are childless so?

Athira Not all can care for the homeless, and those who think it is a good idea have all my respect – foster care of animals is a good idea? And for all her adorable animal (cat) posts

Psych Babbler for posts like this one and for So what…. And for her invaluable comments that add to any discussion.

How do we know for Go Babe go celebrating the victory of the Indian voter while not overlooking Why doesn’t Pappu vote?

DewdropDreams for :”Things happen inside, things happen outside. But the thing that matters most is what she thinks of herself. In Kiniwata, Sarita believed she was worth nothing. Now she knows she is worth more than any other woman in the islands.”

Coffee Angel for her post on the pressures even the very young Indian school children feel to compete and even to lie…and many other posts that make you think, like why doesn’t anyone ask doctors for autographs?

And I join Sandhya in her “laughing and dancing like the zoo-zoo’s of the Vodaphone advertisement!” while I request her to accept these awards for her curent affairs post… love how she picks up a News that strikes her and discusses it objectively. Women’s issue or politics or personal anecdotes, this is one versatile blog.

Mystery for her letter to her Mom….

Mindspace for ‘I try to follow my way of being god fearing and have my O GOD! moments but in my general prayers I by standard only ask “Hey God, pls do good to all”. Dunno if that works but thats how I like it.”

M4 ( Mamma mia! Me a mamma? ) who writes beautifully seriously, movingly, deeply or lightheartedly, for ‘Dear auntyjis of flabulous proportions; with thunder thighs and quadruple bums; sporting cellulite and if “that heart-meltingly beautiful sight wasn’t enough to get me all misty-eyed” …

Astralwicks for ‘The comeback. Aam Aadmi or the Common Man or Woman – was it this much neglected entity who made a quiet comeback?’ And also about what some people do for votes in the name of Lord Rama.

Tearsndreams who writes as brilliant 55ers as her passionate posts on causes she strongly believes in.

Cilla for her posts against gender bias and social sterotypes.

Shilpa Love her clarity when it comes to political issues and gender bias.

Prerna for her brilliant posts on current issues.

I received this award from Indyeah, thank You Indyeah

“Creativity:…resulting from originality of thought, expression, etc.; imaginative: creative writing.”

To some of the most amazing, creative bloggers I have seen, their Headers, their blogs, their posts and even the way they interact with fellow bloggers is creative

And who would I like to pass the Creative Blogger Award to?

The Kreative Blogger Award also goes to…

Tearsndreams, Spontaneous Mini, Goofy Mama, Gunmeen, Chirag, Solilo, Vishesh, Mandira, Monika, M4, Sandhya, Minal and Rashi V, Pinku, Vikas Gupta, Richajn and Homecooked.

Ordinary Guy If his humour posts and the detailed ‘diagrams’ are not creative than nothing is:) He can also swtich to verse with the same enthusiasm – if challenged to respond in rhyme But I also love his serious posts and fiction.

Just call me ‘A’ has the most colourful and beautiful header I have ever seen…

Indrani for her gorgeous photographs…

Crafty Shines, Mandira (another header changer!), Nancy , Reema, Devil Incarnate, Sandhya and D

Amit of Mashed Musings has written brilliant posts that I have gratefully linked to ! Particularly loved the post that came with the information that it was not an email forward

Indyeah Yes, right back to you Indyeah! Here’s to a beautiful, vibrant colourful blog, love those brautiful thoughts and vibrant pink bougainvilleas, colourful bangles, – and of course that gorgeous header by Chirag Indyeah too can weave magic and create moving poetry or long, well researched posts.

Usha Pisharody who can weave magic with words… she is a feminist and I loved her letter to a daughter and can never rave enough about her poem on a daughter she never had… (I will add a link here to both!)

Smita for her creative sidebar and her enthusiastic blogging about the protests after the Mumbai Terror attacks, I still remember reading that post and wanting to join her…!

Hitchwriter His writing is creative, I love the enthusiasm with which he can switch from prose to verse to serious to absolute slapstick humour, not just in his blog posts but also in his delightful comments

Rakesh for writing a post that has made all the guys in the blogosphere switch to writing about humour But on a serious not, Rakesh is amazing in his wisdom, sensitivity and creativity. His hilarious and serious movie reviews are a delight to read, and he was one voice that wrote long ago that all the noise of third front coming to power had no basis, and he too finds it difficult to resist the challenge to rhyme

Vimmuuu (I can never forget his Chaiya chaiya sung in a male and female voices, both his own voices!and the Ghost in the office video – shows Ghosts can be used for humour not just horror.

to be continued…

Is Congress Really The Lesser Evil?

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 06:35:00 +0000

The recent news of Jarnail Singh tossing his shoe at Mr P Chidambaram, has raked some horrible nightmares for many of us. It also reinforced my belief that some wounds must heal. And some crimes must be punished. And for this healing to take place, these crimes must first be acknowledged. Our politicians almost always fail to do that. Congress shocks with its indifference.

And still, I have always considered Congress the lesser evil.

Let me try to explain.

Evil because they failed to control the 1984 carnage. Lesser Evil because they did not say the victims deserved it. Lesser Evil because they did not try to pass off the burning and killing of citizens as an emotional reaction to the assassination of a political representative. Lesser Evil because no recent or past history was used to wedge permanent cracks in the society. Lesser Evil because they did not try to see the other side of a violent carnage.

Evil because 3000 (not sure) Sikhs were killed by mobs made up of hooligans mainly from neighboring slums and villages. Evil because when our neighbours heard some noises in their garden hedge, they ran to shoo away a stray animal and found a teenage boy hiding there. Evil because we heard of bodies rotting near…some public places. Evil because some rumors claimed (overnight) that Sikhs were basically ‘aggressive’. (I have heard the same description for ‘outsiders’ & Muslims.)

Lesser Evil because the neighbors’ heart had not been not filled with so much hate, that they refuse to take him inside – even though they were frightened of mob-fury. There were no hate speeches in those days. My sister in law was amongst many who hid their Sikh neighbours in their homes, risking frenzied mob fury.

We were in college then, some of our friends cut their hair to hide their religious identity. Men from many neighborhoods, Sikh and non-Sikh started neighbourhood watches.

There was indifference from those who should and could have acted swiftly... We did not know it then, but it could have been still worse. But no official or political voice attempted to justify or glorify the massacres. Not even indirectly.

It did not become, under any circumstances, okay to hate a whole community. So the trauma remains, the horror remains, memories will haunt forever, but fear gradually faded.

So I would say, the Congress is Manipulative? Maybe. Weak in controlling violence? Time and again, and sometimes without the excuse of offending any sentiments, like the senseless nightmare of 1984. Condemnable in indifference? Totally. They appease the minorities? Maybe. (but that’s no excuse to burn or rape some citizens of minority communities.) They are not really Secular? Perhaps… (again that’s not something we bring up to justify carnages.)

Then why call them the lesser evil? Because they do not preach and encourage violence and intolerance.

They do not say it’s okay to chop off hands and it’s bewkuf to turn the other cheek. They do not tell us that some amongst us are deserving of hate. They don’t make the evils of Hate, Violence and Intolerance an acceptable option.

Khushwant Singh wrote of a widow who had two sons. One learnt to rule, one learnt to fly. The one who learnt to rule tried to fly and he died. The one who could fly tried to rule, he died too. He also suggested (I think it was in his column called ‘With Malice towards one and all’) - an apology. And it stuck in my mind.

Apologies matter. So when Sheila Dixit seemed to regret on National Television a statement no responsible leader should make I forgave her fast. And when Rahul Gandhi expressed regret over the 1984 carnage – I saw hope.

WORDS are powerful. Words are Statements. Words are Promises. Words are Hate speeches.

Words are also Apologies. Apologies are hope, apologies are a new beginning.

But more than anything an apology says I do not defend my actions, I admit I was wrong.

To the bloodthirsty mobs, an apology like this says “I will no longer defend you if you tried something like this.”

Apologies also mean our representatives have not completely forgotten that they are not our rulers.

Words can be the difference between life and death, because words of our political leaders are also a message to our violent mobs. Words don’t change the way potential rioters think. Blood thirsty mobs are lead by people who are too smart to believe that murders can be right – but blood thirsty mobs are also smart enough to understand that if a political leader hates a community (even indirectly or subtly) the murders will be excused away as a reaction to hurt sentiments.

Why is it crucial that we do not ever say anything to condone violence? Because the murderers, the unemployed and the unwilling to work, the perverts, and anti social elements are waiting for us to do just that. You tell a thief he will not be punished, what will he do?

That is why Jagdish Tytler was tossed a shoe (via P Chidambaram). I don’t support the implicit violence in flinging a shoe – I would have preferred a Shoes Sending Campaign just like Pink Chaddi Campaign. But thankfully this is not required now. I read in today’s newspaper, that finally ‘The Congress on Thursday announced Jagdish Tytler and Sajjan Kumar, accused of involvement in the 1984 Sikh riots, are withdrawing from Lok Sabha elections in Delhi.’

This should have been done years ago. I wish this move had not been caused by a shoe. This might become an unhealthy precedence? Are we going to see shoes being aimed at Advani and Modi next? If that happens, will that result in some more killings, this time provoked by shoe throwing? (The idea of couriering shoes is a safer, nonviolent option)

If a political party is not finding newer victims to hate every election season, then even if it has taken 25 years to apologize and dump one of those allegedly involved in a nightmarish carnage, sad to say I am compelled to call it the Lesser Evil.

Aren’t you?

I HAVE MOVED TO WORDPRESS, PLEASE CLICK BELOW TO LEAVE COMMENTS:

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/is-congress-really-the-lesser-evil/

Are We Still Friends?

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 04:47:00 +0000

Finally I have moved this blog to WORDPRESS.

To subscribe to the new blog in Reader or to receive updates in your In box, please click below.

http://feeds2.feedburner.com/wordpress/QiZq

My new address is

http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/

Please do visit!!
:)

You'd like to move to Wordpress too? Read all about how easy I found moving was - and also feel free to ask any questions here :)

Moving From Blogspot to Wordpress

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 14:59:00 +0000

When I started blogging last January, I had created two blogs, one in Blogger, one in Word Press. Both with the same name. Somehow the blogger blog was where the first few posts were published, and then it went on to become an online home :)

Life changed. The world became blog tinted. The Word Press Blog was abandoned. Blogger had me blogaddicted :)

I guess this was because Blogger is easier to use.

Recently when Solilo and Chirag convinced Indyeah, and Indyeah convinced Hitchwriter and Hitchwriter convinced Ordinary Guy and OG convinced Smitha - maybe not in that exact sequence ;) I did not need any convincing :) Roop, Nimmy, Nita, Charakan, Reflections and many other blogging friends had complained that they were finding it difficult to comment, specially from their cell phones. And then I read this helpful post by Destination Infinity where he mentions how he has two blogs one on Blogger and another one on Word Press and he updates both with the same content.

Everybody said Word Press is better than Blogger but I didn't like the idea of leaving behind older content, specially all the discussions and comments. When I read that the content from the first blog, with all the comments, could be imported with one click of a button, to a new blog, the decision was made.

It turned out to be the easiest thing to do. After consulting Hitchwiter, Ajit, Chirag, Destination Infinity and Solilo (THANK YOU!) a copy of all the Blogspot blog content- all posts and all comments were easily imported to the Word Press Blog.

One difficulty was the header from the first blog could not be used for the new blog (size difference). Creating a new one sounds like a lot of fun, so no problem there either.

Copying the blogroll is easy if we follow Chirag's tips in this post. (I am yet to do this.)

I am yet to sort all the categories, and try all the exciting options available in Word Press, this is my first post on WP, (Started writing it on Blogspot, imported to WP - yes 142 drafts were imported too!)

How does Word Press compare with Blogspot?

1. Word Press is great for comments threading , comments editing, moderating, replying to comments.

2. Writing posts is easier too, with an extra interesting option of strike through :) I always wanted this. There are many other features too. Still enjoying the surprises :) It's as good as using Microsoft Word.

3. Then there are BLOG STATS .

Blog stats look like this. (This means we do not need widgets like Feedjit, Live Traffic Feed in WP, but I read somewhere that these widgets can be added to Word Press too)
Blog Stats Summary Tables

Total views: 49

Busiest day: 24 — Monday, April 6, 2009

Views today: 24
Totals

Posts: 216 (imported from Blogger)

Comments: 9,750 (imported from Blogger)

Categories: 255

Tags: 0

4. You can also see Referrers and Search Engine Terms the same way.

5. Categories are another feature that make it easier for blog readers to look for what interest them. Like I found some readers were interested in reading only Family posts or only Gender related posts, Blog Spot does not have Categories - and I missed that.

6. Word press also lets you choose who can see your blog, in case you wish to have a blog for just your family, or a group of like minded people you have that option!

7. I think what might be easier in Blog Spot is it is easier to use and decorate :) You can add a wider range of fun widgets.

8. The ease of importing, the the excitement of redecorating a new home are tempting, but the biggest charm that Word Press has is the ease of replying to comments. Blogging is interactive, and being able to respond to comments was important for me.

Do you think this move will be good idea?

What would Taliban say to Juno?

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 06:45:00 +0000

Note: The same post also available at http://indianhomemaker.wordpress.com/2009/04/04/what-would-taliban-say-to-juno/

This video can be very disturbing.

"Please stop it," she begs, alternately whimpering or screaming in pain with each blow to the backside. "Either kill me or stop it now."

A video showing a teenage girl being flogged by Taliban fighters has emerged from the Swat Valley in Pakistan... The two-minute video, shot using a mobile phone, shows a burka-clad woman face down on the ground. Two men hold her arms and feet while a third, a black-turbaned fighter with a flowing beard, whips her repeatedly.For being sen with a man.

The girl in the video is 17, same age as a girl studying in class XII. How old is that? Girls at 17 are giggling and gossiping about which boys they think are cute, and if the giggling is reciprocated maybe they go out. Sometimes without the parents’ knowledge. They might bunk school or college, maybe deceive the 'authorities' and ruin their future either by neglecting school work, or by getting into ‘serious trouble’, and since we do not live 'abroad' they cannot hope to have the baby and find her loving adoptive parents like Juno could.

(If you have not seen the movie yet, please do.)

There are chances of their being put in a situation where they take their own lives, because we believe that for girls there is no life after dishonour. Nothing happens to the boy.

Without getting into how wrong or how unacceptable it is for a girl to behave so immorally or irresponsibly, I wonder if WE have the moral right to have such control over another human life and body, for any reason, even for ‘ her own good’?

And then how is it good for her that she can be beaten in pubs, flogged in public, or offered the option of marrying her rapist.

How is it good for her that we have created a society where another rapist declared the victim ‘too used’ to marry his son.

We have made so much of a girl’s virginity and her reputation, that she will not be able to tell if the rapist is not a stranger, but her own father? Malayalidoc, a doctor in Kerala, wrote a post about incest leading to AIDS here. And we see how we have enough control over her life to decide if she is better dead.

Justified under certain circumstances?

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:38:00 +0000

Three questions.

1. Can mob violence against unarmed citizens, including women and children have ‘other side’...like they might have done something to offend this mob, so they deserve this violence by them?

Can we say, mob violence against unarmed citizens can be justified under certain circumstances?

2. Do we honestly accept that the same rules must apply to everybody, including us?

Now mob violence is no longer something that happens only to other people. There is no telling what about us might offend somebody enough to want to kill us. Our language, our origins, the Gods we worship, the clothes we wear or whether we drink tea, coffee or something else, what we read, which movies we watch, what artwork we create ... do we think this is understandable ... under certain circumstances?

3. Do you think Gandhi was not entirely correct in preaching non violence?

MIP: Men In Pink

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 03:34:00 +0000

This young man I knew said he resented the luxury of ‘choice’ that women had. He loved cooking and he claimed he would have kept a great home and made a great stay-at-home-dad. He did not want a career.

Social stereotypes take away our choice to do what makes us happier and more satisfied... perhaps also content and hence better people. Creativity and talent also thrive when we are not fighting our natural abilities, just to confirm.

So when non confirming women entered the so called male bastions, men also got the opportunity to barge into fields like fashion designing, modeling, dancing, music and cooking. And much maligned beauty.

Little boys have always been obsessed with their hair and their muscles and hats and helmets, and their dad’s belts, shoes, sun glasses and after shaves. Yet one hears of the metrosexual man (e.g. David Beckham and Shahrukh Khan) being put down by those who believe he’s not macho… Maybe there is some envy in this? But the metrosexual man like most non conformists doesn’t care. He makes his own rules. He makes his own breakfast in his fancy, squeaky clean kitchen, if he wants to. He will wear pink if he likes pink. I guess he is happier.

Now come to think of it, why should men not wear pink? Traditionally, anyway, India did not have much gender-bias when it came to colours. Krishna is known to have loved a bright yellow. Pink turbans are as common as brilliant blue and outrageous orange.

Unlike in the West, Indian men were always free to show emotion, though they were not really free to shed tears the way women could. An unnecessary taboo. Because if crying was a sign of weakness, most women would be weak. We know they aren’t, not really. Vulnerable? Yes. Lacking in courage? I don’t think so. Courage has no gender. Yet sometimes we expect little boys to be born Bollywood heroes.

When we were young, my brother and I were terrified of the dark, of most insects, of reptiles and of ghost stories. I was reassured and comforted. He was criticized and lectured.
How was saying “Don’t be a girl!” going to help a child get over normal childhood fears? I was afraid of the same things but I once looked up paryayavachi (synonyms) for coward to tease him.

Years later, when my son was four, he was playing alone in his room, and he started shrieking hysterically. After many reassuring hugs he pointed at a dead bee on the bed.

I called my brother. He did remember my list.

Individual liberty lets you be you. It’s a only antidote for the unfairness of stereotypes. So are men in Pink :)

I also don't want to be a Feminist.

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 05:59:00 +0000

I don't want to be a Feminist.

55 WORDS FICTION

I don’t care about being equal to men …me wants to live my life peacefully… doing my own thing.

You're working?

Love my job.

Have kids?

Planned later.

Can you make chappaties?

We’ve always had a maid for that!

What will you do if your husband was violent?

You think I’d marry someone that kind?!!!

A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:

Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)

A setting, One or more characters, Some conflict, and A resolution.

(Not limited to moral of the story)

All's well that ends well.

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 08:35:00 +0000

55 WORDS FICTION

How The Green Eyed Monster Died

My black eyes avoided Devi’s tearful brown ones.
Why are women so jealous? I wasn’t divorcing her dammit!
My friend, the wimp, passed her his handkerchief. He was a comfort, dropping in everyday. ..

I was right.

Women need babies to keep them occupied. All her tears disappeared when she saw our blue eyed twins.

Betrayal of the B.

My black eyes avoided Sally’s brown ones.

I looked straight ahead and drove. She snuggled closer. This wasn’t going to be easy.

We were on a lonely highway now. I stopped, opened the door, pushed her out and before I could change my mind, drove away.

I could see her running after the car.

Barking.

When Harriet Met Sally

My black eyes had been avoiding Harriet’s tearful brown ones. I didn’t want to drive with blurry eyes. We missed her mom.

Then we saw her running on the highway. Was she mad!? Harriet screamed. I hadn’t hit her, but we stopped.

The vet gave her tranquilizers. She’ll be fine.

Harriet already is.

Said Noodle Strap to the Sari - I

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 14:36:00 +0000

55 WORDS FICTION

Flashing Traffic Lights

Sari clad Susheela glared at the girl in the next car. Music blared though the traffic. Long nails tapped brazenly on the steering wheel. Couldn’t she cover her tattooed shoulder? Then they blame the men....

The light turns green.

A knock at her car window. Startled, she turned to him. And turned away, red faced.

Edited to Add:

Urban Dictionary ( http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=flasher ) describes FLASHER as,

Flasher:

1. A person, usually a man, who takes pleasure in exhibiting his private parts to random people in public. A clichÃ© flasher wears a dust-coat, flabs of which he spreads in front of his victim(s).

2. A person who interupts tennis/soccer or any other kind of match by running onto it naked.

Flashers do it usually without a particular reason, for the sake of doing this.

Ad.1 While I was going to meet you I came across a flasher, lurking in shrubs. He had nothing to be proud of!

Ad.2 Kournikova was to serve when a flasher burst in and ran with his fingers V-shaped.

The Earth Hour in 55 Words

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 17:27:00 +0000

Inspired by Solilo, Usha Pisharody, Tearsndreams, Smitha, Ajit and Dhiren my attempt at 55 words fiction :)

The Earth Hour

We would have forgotten if a friend hadn't called to remind!

But we sat in a balcony lit by many neighbours’ lights. Son brought out his guitar and we sang tunelessly. We SMSed all our friends, and took pictures.

Then a friend messaged back, ” You are not supposed to use cell phones cheater!”

Some comments must be responded to.

indianhomemaker@gmail.com (Indian Home Maker) — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:23:00 +0000

Modi described shifting of the IPL out of India as a "national shame", P Chidambram said most Indins thought that the Gujarat communal riots were a national shame.

It was good to hear cousin Priyanka Gandhi suggest "Varun read Gita properly". And cousin Rahul Gandhi say, 'Hate and anger blind you.'

BJP supporters had been saying that Congress Dynasty politics will make Rahul Gandhi our next Prime Minister. Sonia Gandhi said Mr Man Mohan Singh was their PM candidate. Now how do we react to 'Advani out, Varun Gandhi is the new star on BJP's horizon' ?

It was good to see some comments answered. I think one more comment must be responded to ...

Anonymous Commenter: Happy to see you taking a keen interest on this ( doctored speech). I would be happier if you can do a post on realities of Pilibhit ... its far removed from our metro's and its something totally different than what our English media is trying to make us believe.

IHM: Only the right wing supporting Indians, (even when they live in the city and speak English) can understand the realities of Pilibhit?
And the fake-Indians who apply lipsticks and light candles believe whatever English Media is 'trying to make us believe'?

Don't you think such divisive tactics are too British (Western!) for a today's Indians to try?

Anonymous Commenter: But then Varun said something very very good (even baddies say some good things at times) .. that he is a hindu and not apologetic about it ..
IHM: And how does one become 'apologetic about being Hindu'?
By respecting the Constitution?
By being non violent?
By not desiring that all non-Hindu Indians are made to be apologetic about being non-Hindus?
Don't you see where such politics is taking us?