The Life and Times of an Ordinary Girl

Adventures in The Kingdom of Tonga

2012-02-03T08:33:00.000+11:00

Oh, the stories I could tell you!

Sadly they'll have to wait another day. I'm in a little internet cafe, and my time is nearly up. It costs $3 per hour to go on the internet here (About $2 AUD), which sounds like a bargain...until you discover that each page takes about 5mins to load.

We are having a wonderful time. When I get a chance, I shall tell you all about my visits to the medicine woman, my confiscated toothpaste, getting bogged in the mud, the sweetest pineapples in the world, and a year without shampoo...

I trust you are suitably intrigued...?

My Decision NOT to Vaccinate My Daughter

2012-01-14T18:53:00.001+11:00

Many of my readers will not be overly surprised to learn of my decision not to vaccinate my daughter...

Is it because I'm dumb/ignorant/can't be bothered/a neglectful mother..? What person in their right mind takes such risks?

I'll tell you why.

Long before she was born, I did some research into the newborn Hep B vaccine, and learnt that it contains, among other things, aluminium (a neurotoxin), formaldehyde (a known human carcinogen), and cultured in genetically modified yeasts.

I'm sorry, but these ingredients have no business being injected in newborn babies, whose blood-brain barrier is still incomplete!!

Then I did some research on Hepatitis B...and learnt that it is contracted by either a.) sexual contact, b.)sharing needles or c.) from an infected mother to child during birth.

Ummm....?? Why on earth would I inject my child with known poisons, when the chances of her contracting such an illness are less than miniscule?

During our two days in hospital, all the midwives commented on what a peaceful baby she was. There was no screaming or squalling or fussing. Meanwhile, the corridors were filled with babies howling. I thought nothing of this - you come to expect that from a maternity ward at 3am in the morning - but then, my husband made a comment: "Maybe our daughter is so peaceful, because she hasn't been injected with poisons?"

After that, every time I heard a baby howling, or high-pitched screaming....I wondered. And my heart nearly broke with the wondering...What if it was? What if those tiny bodies were already overloaded with poisons and struggling? What were we doing to our precious little babies?

My daughter hasn't had her two-month vaccines, either. Nor do I plan on giving her any in the future.

She gets "vaccinated" every time I breast-feed her...

The Australian government has recently passed a law (very quietly too, I might add) that the parents of children who are not fully vaccinated will not receive the Family Tax Benefit Supplement at the end of the financial year.

I'm sorry, but this is a conscientious decision, and I feel right about my choice, no amount of "supplementing" is going to change my mind on it!!! No doubt, there are some parents out there who haven't vaccinated because they're too busy, or can't be bothered, but I bet the majority did their research and chose not to.

My middle son was vaccinated until he was four months old. He then broke out in exzema all over his little body. That was enough to make me start questioning. And I thank God that I did, because I am convinced that if I'd carried on with the vaccine schedule, my son would have been one of the tens of thousands of children damaged by vaccines. His immune system was already overloaded, because he had candida overgrowth ( I just didn't know it at the time.)

A doctor later poo-poohed and said excema was not a good enough reason to stop vaccinating - it was a minor irritation. (Ha! I bet he wouldn't call it a minor irritation, if he were the one up all night, every night, with an irritable, cranky baby...) Well, pardon me!! I don't have a medical degree, but I know enough to realise that excema is the sign of an overloaded system, unable to cope with toxins, so the body tries to push it out through the skin.

Hmmm. Maybe not so "minor" after all...

With the help of homeopathic remedies and a really good diet, we were able to get on top of the exzema, and the underlying candida infection, and my beautiful boy, with the big brown eyes began to look a picture of health.

I had to jump through hoops to get him into childcare (because of his vaccination status)...but the really ironic thing was...my unvaccinated son was the only one who did NOT get sick once while in childcare. Nope. Not even a sniffle!

There is very little research on the comparative health of vaccinated vs unvaccinated children. I doubt pharmaceutical companies would be bothered with such research, and no-one else has the money to fund it. But one group are attempting to get the data together, and so far, unvaccinated children are out-performing the vaccinated ones in every category (such as asthma, allergies, ear infection, learning delays, etc). The study is ongoing, but you can view the preliminary results here.

I'm not going to judge anyone else on the choices they make - we all do what we feel is best for our children. But as for me...I'll trust my instincts. My babies will not be injected with poisons and carcinogens.

Not on my watch, anyway.

(P.S. For those parents of kids with excema - I know there's a lot of you out there - my son still has no sign of excema, nor do I use any kind of product on his skin. I try to feed him well, including probiotics, and avoid sugar and white flour products. If you find a skin product that works, fantastic, but understand that you are not fixing the underlying problem, which is quite often candida overgrowth in the gut. I know I'm always going on about candida, but it really is a silent epidemic that causes all manner of syptoms, and few people recognise it - including doctors. )

2012: The Year of Broadening Horizens.

2012-01-10T17:09:00.000+11:00

I’m not overly sorry to see the back of 2011, just quietly...

I think I’ll name it the “Year of Being Pushed to Breaking Point”.

Really. I don’t think it’s necessary to re-hash the whole thing. But let’s just say, that for every challenge, there were some awesome lessons learned. And I closed out the year by turning 30!

My friend asked me how I felt about turning 30. My reply:” I’m excited to turn 30, and I’m excited to see what the next decade will bring.”

According to the Hunza tribe, who regularly lived to 150 years and above (that is...until Western diet arrived..), youth was 0 – 80 years, middle age was 80 – 120 years, and old age was over 120 years.

Makes you realise how limited we are by our paradigms, when it comes to age.

Here’s to another 50 years of youth!!

Looking forward to 2012... So much to look forward to!!

In two weeks we are due to fly out, to go and spend a year in Tonga. People keep asking me: “But, what are you going to DO there?”

What if I say I’m not going to do anything whatsoever?? I’m just going to BE. (I am a human being, and not a human doing, after all...)

But......I do have a few things in mind. I’m not going to call them “goals” because my ultimate aim is to enjoy the experience, and I don’t want to spoil it with my little “to-do” list fetish...

-I want to start a vegetable garden.

- I want to learn all about the local herbal wisdom. The older Tongan ladies tell me that there are plants growing wild which can be used to treat tetanus. Also, a plant used to wash the dishes. How awesome is that? The ultimate in sustainability! (I can already identify this plant – but I don’t know the English name for it, and it also happens to grow wild around Sydney nature reserves. )

- I want to encourage the Tongan people to return to some of their old practices, for the benefit of their health, and their environment. I have not yet figured out how to go about this, without appearing like a pompous “holier-than-thou” foreigner...

(For example: Tonga has an abundant supply of coconuts, and coconut oil is THE healthiest oil for cooking. Yet many of them will walk straight past the coconut tree, to buy cheap, imported (artery-clogging) canola oil from the local Chinese corner-shop.

Another example: the Tongans once used banana leaves to wrap their food, before placing in the hangi. Now they pay to use aluminium foil, imported from overseas.

You get the picture...)

- I want to become fluent in the Tongan language.

- I want to learn how to dance a Tongan tau’olunga, as written on my Bucket List. AND perform it at one of the regular village concerts. These dances, performed by a solo female are deceptively complicated. The movement of the hands and wrists – which look like graceful twirling to the untrained eye – actually tell the story of the song.

- I want to get back into health and political activism. I have to. I cannot know what I know, and do nothing about it. I took a break in the last half of 2011, for the sake of my sanity, but now, with spirit and passion restored, I am ready to delve back into the fray.

(This morning my cousin - aged just 32 - passed away. Cancer. Or was it the chemotherapy?

In the past year, I knew 5 people with cancer. Four of them had chemotherapy/radiation/surgery. And all four of them died.

One chose a natural alternative. Not only is he still alive...he is cancer-free.

Coincidence? Maybe. But I doubt it...How many people have to die before we are willing to look for answers beyond the radiation/surgery/chemotherapy options, which are absolutely horrendous for the ~~victim~~ patient. The treatment is worse than the disease!

Makes me so mad! I'm sorry, but I just will not, can not, stay silent about this stuff.

If you're interested, I wrote here about how my uncle beat prostate cancer, using bicarbonate soda.)

I’ve had a couple of offers to teach English in the schools over there. While part of me thinks this could be a really rewarding thing to do, another part of me practically squirms with the discomfort of being so far out of my comfort zone.

Oh. And I am looking forward to having the help of a large extended family to look after my children, and give them loads of attention and affection. In Tonga, the village really does raise the child. It is only us crazy Westerners who try to be everything, and do everything, ourselves...

My 14 year old stepson is also coming with us, and will attend high school there. This was a courageous choice on his behalf, and I hope it will be a positive experience that really expands his understanding of the world.

So....! Bring on 2012.

I'm ready.

The Quest for Meaningful Gifts

2011-12-09T17:33:00.001+11:00

After spending months cleaning out cupboards and sorting out stuff....I've come to see possessions in a whole new light.

You know what I think? A few of our possessions are necessary, a few make us happy, but the vast majority just weigh us down. They fill up cupboards, cover benchtops, and clutter the floor...

The experience of packing up all our worldly possessions, and realising that most of the stuff that filled up my home was unnecessary has broken a mental shackle for me. The act of walking through a mall, and feeling no desire to buy anything has been a new, and rather surreal experience.

Actually, I've started to find it quite distasteful. All that stuff! All that money spent...all that mindless consuming....for what purpose?? Perhaps my mind has already started to prepare itself for life surrounded by poverty.

Anyway, it's got me thinking about gifts. How can you ensure that you give (and recieve) gifts that will actually enhance a person's life, or be a positive thing for the world we all share - as opposed to one more thing that will clutter up the cupboards?

When my older brother reached 30, he declared that he was done with birthdays and presents. I ignored him, and continued to buy him a present each year, because it felt too awful not to. Fancy not buying your own brother a birthday gift?!?!

But now I'm about to turn 30, I think I'll declare the same. (I'll probably be ignored too...).

Or the other alternative which I quite like, is that each year I could choose a cause that I believe in, and ask that anyone who wants to give a gift, give a donation to the cause instead. That way I get the joy of picking something that I feel strongly about, and the giver has the satisfaction of knowing they've given something, and helped a good cause at the same time.

Recently I watched "Running To America" and absolutely loved it. Did anyone else see it? The story of Rob De Castella who went into outback Northern Territory to find young indigenous men and women to train to run the New York Marathon. His thinking was that these young people would not only encourage others to live a healthy, active lifestyle, but they would inspire others in their communities to believe that if they tried hard enough, they could achieve anything.

Despite tremendous challenges and against the odds, all four young men not only made it to New York, but they all crossed the finish line of the New York Marathon. Had me in tears! I've since heard that, this year, they sent 11 runners to New York, and all of them finished the marathon, and many have gone on to organise fun runs in their own communities, and become mentors to other young people.

(If you'd like to learn more about the Indigenous Marathon Project, you can check out their site here: http://themarathonproject.com.au/

Makes me realise that there are so many projects out there, making a real difference in people's lives, without government funding or media fanfare (often funded out of the pocket of one person who believes passionately in what they're doing) that would really benefit from our help.

So, if you are going to be spending the weekend at the mall, along with a gerzillion other people, trying to find the perfect gift for someone....would you consider giving some money to a good cause on their behalf?

Or at least a gift that has been ethically and responsibly made. Like a basket of organic, locally-grown produce?

Or a gift that will inspire. Like a good book? I highly recommend a book called "Life Is So Good" by George Dawson. A beautiful memoir of a man who was the son of black slaves, and experienced poverty and racism, yet always maintained a wonderful attitude. He did not learn to read until he was 98, and decided to write his life story at age 101.

Our world really doesn't need more cheap plastic (unecessary) things imported from faraway places, where the worker has probably been paid pittance for their troubles, and the local environment poisoned with toxins and chemicals in the process. Think about the world you want to leave your children...

Wouldn't a fairer, less poisoned world be the greatest gift of all...?

"We don't inherit the earth from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children" (American Indian Proverb)

Why We've Decided To Get Rid Of Nearly All Our Possessions and Move To A Third-World Country

2011-11-26T18:35:00.002+11:00

We always said that "one day", we would go and live in the Kingdom of Tonga (my husband's country of birth) for a year, and send our children to school there...

So recently, I got to thinking.

Our house is sold. As of yesterday, we no longer have a mortgage. We have no rent to pay. We had to pack up our belongings, anyway. We haven't yet paid a lot of money to upgrade our car. My husband is not working and we have no way of knowing how long before he can go back to work.

Why not now? We may never get such a perfect opportunity again.

My husband was hesitant at first. But the more he thought about it, the more excited he got.

The moment he said "Yes. Let's do it!" I felt the grip of fear go around my chest like a vice.

But what if? What if I couldn't handle it? What if one of us got really sick? What if our son resented us for taking him out of a school - where he'd just started to excel - and into a new school in a new country where he had to learn a new language? What if I got really bored and lonely? What if...What if....what if....What on earth was I thinking????

Maybe I should just stop this crazy nonsense of wanting a life less ordinary, and just settle for life in the suburbs, along with everyone else....

Feel the fear and do it anyway.

But I knew I'd regret it if I didn't. It was now or never.

We had a garage sale, and sold some of our furniture. Then we gave away bikes, a piano, a BBQ, a TV cabinet and various other bits and pieces to friends who wanted them. Two uteloads of stuff to the recycling centre, another two uteloads to the rubbish dump, several carloads to the Salvos.

Apart from our car, all of our worldly possessions now fit into a 3x3metre storage space.

The more possessions I got rid of, the lighter I began to feel. I cannot begin to tell you!! The other day I tweeted: " Until I moved house, I did not realise what a burden it is to have possessions".

Yes. All those things that I just "had to have" were nothing more than burdens. Why did I not see it until now?

Last night, when our house officially became someone else's house, I felt a little bit sad, but mostly I felt liberated. We are free! The future is alive with possibilities.

For now, we are staying with friends, but we will probably head over to Tonga in January, ready for our son to begin the school year.

Who knows? We are flying by the seat of our pants, with no plan and no roadmap. After a year in the islands, where poverty meets paradise, who knows where life will take us, or how much we'll have changed?

I know it's the right decision. I know. Because I've been smiling more lately. (Yes. Entirely unscientific observation, I know)

I have swallowed my fear. Now it just feels exhilarating...the way I imagine life was meant to feel...

"The Days Are Long, But The Years Are Short..."

2011-11-19T12:20:00.000+11:00

Moving Day has finally arrived. I promised myself that I wouldn't feel sad, but I do.

The sight of my son's purple preschool hat lying in a bag of rubbish by the door was more than I could bear.

I realised, then, why I feel sad.

It's not because of this house, or this stuff.

It's because of the time that I'll never get back again. While my children were busy growing up, my husband and I were busy working (sometimes 3 jobs at a time), studying, and preoccupied with making ends meet, and paying for this house. Years just seemed to fly by, without us even realising.

All I remember from these past few years, is a feeling of being stressed and exasperated with my children. Didn't they know I was busy and had so much to do? Couldn't they just go and play quietly and leave me in peace? Sure, I would give them my full attention, just as soon as I finished this really important thing..."

But there was always another Really Important Thing waiting to be done...

As they say: "The days are long, but the years are short". Surely, every mother perfectly understands this seemingly contradictory statement.

I sneak back and salvage the little purple hat from the rubbish bag, and promise myself that the future will be different....

PS. Along these lines, my husband and I have made a really radical, potentially life-changing decision. I will write about it soon, when I've managed to get my head around the enormity of it :-)

It's a Girl!!

2011-11-06T11:49:00.000+11:00

Dear Readers, please excuse me. I'll be missing from the blogosphere for a bit, while I enjoy every delicious inch of my newborn daughter...

Sanchia

02 - 11 - 2011

As every other mother out there knows, I am currently very busy:

Staring at her with a goofy smile on my face.
Feeling her chest in the wee small hours to make sure she's still breathing
Being hungry ALL. THE. TIME.
Trying to keep her besotted big brothers from smothering her in their enthusiasm.
Fighting my way through mountains of washing, and dirty nappies.
Marvelling over how a tiny soul can weave her way so effortlessly into the fabric of a family.
Sunning my sore nipples in the backyard, and hoping no-one is peeking through the fence at me, while pondering whether I have, in fact, lost my marbles.
Snoozing in the first available armchair.

Oh, and there's that small matter of having to be moved out of our home in another three weeks...

Did I mention that I am Very Busy? I am also Very Happy, Very Thankful and Very Blessed.

The Best Product For Acne is....Nothing?

2011-10-27T21:53:00.000+11:00

I think I’ve discovered a really exciting secret...!!

I’ve had acne ever since I was 12 years old. Some times are better than other times, but it’s always been there. 17 years of pimples, and I’ve tried everything I can think of, to get rid of them.

This year my skin's been particularly bad, which might be due to my body detoxing, or pregnancy hormones, or simply living through my most stressful year ever. Anyways....whatever the reason.

Last week, I happened to read that our bodies are actually smarter than we think (Gasp! Who would’ve thought?!), and if we don’t use any products at all, our skin will naturally regulate it’s oil production to suit the environment.

Well, what did I have to lose? Since that day, I have washed my face with water, twice a day, and done nothing else whatsoever.

And you know what? The pimples are disappearing!!

Now it could be that my raw food challenge is paying off, or the oil-pulling is working, or the apple cider vinegar, or my stress levels have come down. It could be that any of those things have contributed, BUT....I noticed a difference the very same day I stopped using anything on my skin. The pimples began drying up, and no new ones began forming.

Now that I think about it, the signs were there all along.

My mother has beautiful skin. Always has. Even now, as she approaches 60, it’s still beautiful and barely a wrinkle to be seen.

When I was a pimply teenager, my pimply teenage friends would ask her which products she used, to have such nice skin. Her reply was “Nothing. I just wash my face with water”. And it was true. In my entire life, I have never seen my mother use any product on her face. Nope, not even moisteriser. Ever!!

But of course, I was a teenager, and I thought my “Dolly” and “Girlfriend” magazines knew better than my mother. And THEY advised that every skincare regime should include cleansing, toning, exfoliating, moisterising, blah, blah, blah....

It makes me wonder if this whole idea that we “must” cleanse, tone and moisterise was actually some clever marketing ploy to sell us more products that we didn’t need...???

A couple of years ago, I scrapped the whole cleansing and toning bit, and simply began using coconut oil on my skin to moisterise. My skin got neither better or worse.

I should have made the connection then, but I didn’t. I just kept doing it, because I just assumed I “had to” moisterise or else my skin would end up dry and flaky.

But it hasn't. And maybe I'm imagining it, but I could swear that the skin tone has also improved.

Is it possible, that I have struggled with this issue for 17 years, not to mention spent a small fortune on skin products which achieved zilch, only to discover that they were in fact causing the problem???

Sold. And How It's Not All About Me....

2011-10-19T10:25:00.000+11:00

After my despair on Saturday, when I sat down and had a good cry...it turns out I just needed to hold on a little bit longer.

Funny, isn't it? How many times in life, where you're at the point of giving up, and the light of dawn turns out to be just around the corner? Guess it's all part of the lesson and the learning curve, to be at that point of breaking, before help arrives.

On Monday, the couple who really wanted our home, and had already made several offers, raised their offer by another $10,000.

This brought the total amount to a level that we'd already decided we'd be willing to seriously consider.

After some negotiation with the real estate agent, who managed to raise the price another $2500, we accepted.

To be honest, if someone had told me in the beginning that we'd get this price, I probably would have been a little bit disappointed. But after seeing the market first-hand, I'm happy with the price we got. I don't think we could have done better, and with the economy set to slow even further, I think the time is right to get out.

After paying the real estate fees, paying off every single one of our debts, and upgrading our car, we'll be left with around $80,000 to start again somewhere else. How can I complain about that?

All this time, I was thinking about us. Our debts, our plans, our budget. The buyers were just a nameless, faceless entity...

Until I found out that they've recently moved to Australia. Their two children are still back home in Beijing, and they flew out today to bring their children back with them.

Suddenly it wasn't all about me, anymore. What was the point of trying to squeeze every last cent out of the process? They were people, too. I wanted to do the right thing by them. What if we kept forcing them to make higher offers, knowing they were in a tight situation and getting desperate, and in a few years they too found themselves in the same situation as us? A mortgage that they simply couldn't afford, and drowning in debt? I couldn't feel good about that...

So, it didn't come to an end with tears, or celebrations, or high excitement, in the way I'd pictured. It was simply relief. I sat quietly and said a little prayer of thanks, and hoped that I'd also done right by the people on the other end of the deal. That they'd be happy here in this home.

Finally, after nine months, I can now turn my focus to bringing a new life into the world. And not a moment too soon, either. I can feel it's very close now. Maybe just a few more days.

And then a whole new roller-coaster will begin... :-)

Sometimes You Just Need To Have a Good Cry...

2011-10-15T13:40:00.001+11:00

Sometimes I think the best option is to simply sit down and have a good cry...

Well, that's what I did today.

For the last four weekends we've had open house inspections as we try to sell our home.

(Let me assure you that getting a house ready for scrutiny by would-be buyers is no small feat, but especially not when you are 38weeks pregnant, and have two young children who come along behind you to leave some grubby finger-marks on the walls and rumple up the beds while you are otherwise occupied, cleaning like a mad-woman.)

We started out with excitement and high hopes. Surely all our hard work was about to pay off!! But the weeks went past, and finally one offer.

Almost $50,000 below what we were hoping for.

I had a good cry, then, too.

This was not the scenario I had in mind all those months that I dragged my pregnant body up on chairs to paint ceilings, and then onto hands and knees to scrub decking and paint skirting boards. I certainly wasn't picturing this when I got up at 4:30am so I could grout bathrooms before going to work...

My tears soon gave way to indignation. How dare they make such a lousy offer! Didn't they know that I have slaved over this house???

More time passed. They raised their offer twice. Now they are only $30,000 less than what we wanted!!

Meanwhile, each Saturday, hope rose again. Maybe today would be the day? Someone would fall in love with our home, and make a decent offer that we could work with.

That's what I was thinking this morning, too, as I walked away from my spotless home, after four straight hours of cleaning and vacuuming, and making beds "just so". We went to the mall and wandered around for a while, because we couldn't think of anything else we wanted to do. Not that we had any money to spend. We can't even afford our mortgage, which is precisely why we're selling our house, and desperate for a decent price...

When we came home, eager to know how the inspection had gone. The real-estate business card left on the bench, said that one person had come to look today - the same person trying to buy our house cheaper than what we're willing to part with it, for.

Well, really! This was too much. I went and sat in the backyard and had a good cry. One of those cries that I once heard Oprah refer to as "the ugly cry". You know, where your face goes into all kinds of ugly contortions that you have no control over, because you are too busy sobbing?

So anyway, I had one of those cries, feeling utterly sorry for myself, and wishing life would just go away and leave me alone for a while. Enough already!!

There's something cleansing and releasing about a good cry, dont you think? After my sobs had given way to annoying sniffles, I got up and braced myself to carry on, because....well....because there is no other option but to "carry on"...

Is there?

Update: The Raw Food Challenge.

2011-10-14T15:12:00.001+11:00

It's been over a month since I started my Raw Food Challenge. In the beginning, I was doing terrific and reaching my goal of eating at least 70% raw. But then...

I was REALLY busy, had visitors, and the weather turned cool, and...

[insert any other excuse that comes to mind] and I got a bit distracted.

BUT...

The good news is that I'm still eating more raw than I normally would. On any given day, I estimate that I'm eating about half raw, half cooked, which is still an improvement, though not quite where I'd like to be.

As for my skin? Hmmmmmm.

As I type, every spare millimetre of chin and cheek area on my face is covered in break-outs. Worse than ever!! I am trying not to be disheartened by this turn of events. It is my experience that when making healthy changes, things get worse before they get better as the body cleanses itself.

After I started the raw challenge, I began oil-pulling (read this post if you are feeling thoroughly confused right now), and also drinking raw apple cider vinegar twice a day (mixed with water and a pinch of stevia), PLUS I'm due to give birth in the next week or two, so any or all of these could be making a contribution to the pimple problem.

On second thoughts, the skin breakouts might be caused by my guilty little secret!! My sugar-free diet has been hijacked by those little green packets of Aussie Drops hard-boiled eucalyptus lollies. Aaaarrrgh. My pregnancy cravings for these babies is bordering on obsession!!

Never mind. The other bit of good news is that I'm broadening my horizens in the kitchen. Some of the new recipes I've made so far:

- Raw Almond Milk. The leftover nut meat that I strained out was turned into honey and almond muffins. Not raw, but my boys loved them for a mid-morning treat.

- Raw Rice Milk

- Raw Cashew Milk (my favourite so far)

- Raw Almond and Sesame Balls. (These tasted just like those yummy, sticky sesame bars you can buy in the shops. I did take a photo, but some helpful little person seems to have erased it from my camera...)

- Raw Lemon and Coconut Slice (this one is currently setting in the fridge so can't say how it turned out.....but it tasted pretty darned nice when I was licking the "dough" off my fingers...)

- Raw Oatmeal and Raisin Cookies.

Oh. And I've also been dipping my spoon into this jar...

of raw chocolate on a regular basis, too. Very yummy, and no cane sugar either.

My next projects are making some of these divine-looking raw brownies, and also this raw chia pudding.

By the way, I've only just discovered The Rawtarian site. As a complete bumbling newbie at raw food "uncooking", I absolutely *heart* this girl! Her site is full of easy, fuss-free recipes, and I can't recommend it highly enough.

Since stumbling across her site, I've had a renewed enthusiasm for my raw food challenge. Today I went and bought my first ever jar of agave syrup and my first ever packet of nutritional yeast. There is no stopping me, now!

I am soldiering on, pimples and all...

Why I Chose To Get Rid of the Microwave

2011-10-03T07:00:00.001+11:00

For a while now, I've felt uncomfortable about having a microwave in my kitchen.

Not only did it clutter up my small kitchen, and take up valuable bench space, but on the odd occasions I used it to reheat leftovers, it just didn't "feel right".

Because, all the while, I was thinking about how it works - by making water molecules in the food vibrate at high frequencies, turning it into steam, and thereby heating the food.

But it also changes the chemical structure of the food, by distorting and deforming the molecules. One scientist even proved that it can destroy DNA.

I couldn't help wondering what that food would do inside my body? Inside my children's little bodies? If the structure was changed, could our bodies even recognise that it was "food"?

I was remembering how one independant organisation (Powerwatch) says that even when a microwave is working correctly, the radiation levels in your kitchen are likely to be higher than those coming from the local mobile phone tower.

(See Dr Mercola's article for more info.)

And then there were those studies that showed a decrease in white blood cells after people ate microwaved food. Less white blood cells equals less immune function - not something I aspire to!

And even though I used it less and less, I still held onto it...."just in case"....

But with our house going up for sale, I decided to take the plunge. The microwave with the chipped paintwork inside (who knows what fumes it was depositing into our food?) is gone! For good...

And so far, I haven't missed it at all. And I'm revelling in the extra bench space and lack of clutter!

I have reached the conclusion that there is nothing which cannot be heated by placing under a grill, put into boiling water, or warmed in the oven.

I rarely used my microwave for defrosting, but if you do, it just needs a little forethought to get around that issue. Simply take the food out of the freezer a day or two in advance, and defrost in the fridge.

I figure that we are already being bombarded with radiation from every angle, so any changes which equal less radiation inside our own home, can only be positive...

My Experience with "Oil-Pulling"

2011-09-29T07:00:00.001+10:00

You all know that I'm a complete health nutter...right?! I never get tired of talking about health stuff, or devouring health information.

So, it came as a surprise when I was on a natural remedies website recently, and someone mentioned "oil-pulling". What on earth?!?! I'd never heard of this before...

My curiosity was too much to bear. I had to know all about this practice of "oil-pulling".

Turns out it's an ancient Ayurvedic practice, where you swish oil around in your mouth for 20 minutes - first thing in the morning, and apparently it "pulls" toxins out of the bloodstream, helps your body detox by stimulating the meridians of the major elimination organs, as well as killing harmful bacteria in your mouth.

It was still early in the morning, and I hadn't yet had breakfast, so I was keen to give it a try. I suspected that my body was trying to fight off some kind of virus as my stomach had been feeling "off" and for a few days I kept getting severe muscle weakness in my arms and legs.

The only oil I had was cold-pressed Sweet Almond Oil. I put a tablespoon in my mouth and swished it around gently, for 20 minutes, and then spat it into the toilet. (Note: Do NOT swallow, as it is now full of toxins and bacteria.)

The colour had changed to white, just like the instructions said it would.

Almost immediately, and for a few hours after, I could feel gunk (that's mucus to the faint-hearted...) coming down the back of my throat. Could it be, the oil was clearing out my sinuses???

All day, I felt unusually thirsty.

That night, I woke up no less than three times, and each time I was bathed in sweat. But I wasn't hot. I was just sweating like crazy.

The next day I noticed a definite improvement in the muscle weakness symptoms. That night, I again woke up sweating. By the third day the muscle weakness had gone.

I've continued to "oil-pull" each morning (about a week), and I aim to continue long-term. I've now got my eyes peeled for other changes.

Some of the testimonials online are really intriguing. Many people listed dental and gum problems improved, eyesight improved, sinus problems improved, and arthritic conditions improved although many had to persevere for a couple of months before joint problems eased. Several people said that their hair started to grow back as their original colour, instead of grey. And one woman said her husbands eyes became noticeably bluer!

Isn't that fascinating?!

I do not know HOW it works, from a scientific perspective, but then again, I've never belonged to the school of thought that says if it cannot be explained, then it cannot possibly be. I judge by results, not scientific explanations, and oil-pulling most definately caused a reaction in me....and I wasn't even using the oils that are generally recommended as most effective (sunflower or sesame).

If you want to learn more about this little-known practice, see here.

And if you decide to take up oil-pulling, do leave me a comment. I'd love to hear what others experience from it!

For Sale: Our Home!!

2011-09-27T13:30:00.000+10:00

Finally....after months of blood, sweat and tears, and just about doing in my poor pregnant back (Yes, only 4 weeks to go!!), our home is finally on the market!

The complete lack of clutter is so refreshing, I cannot think why we didn't clean up the place earlier? But I'm determined to take the lesson into my new home. Less stuff = less mess = less cleaning time = happier all round...

And just because I'm so house-proud and it's a new feeling to revel in....Bear with me, while I post some photos, which will mean nothing to anyone else, but make me feel incredibly happy.

I wish I had some "before" pictures to compare it with, but alas....

Kitchen and Dining

Dining and Living Area

Boy's Bedroom

Main Bedroom (Unknown to me, a cheeky little cherub was jumping on the bed right before the photographer came...hence the rumpled bedcovers. Oh, well...can't have everything perfect!)

Spare Bedroom

We had our first open house this last weekend, with some good interest. Now we wait with bated breath for the offers to start rolling in....We hope :-)

A Pasta-Lovers Raw Food Challenge (Complete with "Before" Photo...)

2011-09-11T21:25:00.001+10:00

Not long ago, while holidaying on the Gold Coast, I stumbled across this delightful little raw-food restaurant. I was meeting up with an old friend for lunch, and we were both keen to try it out.

(Now let me just say that I have never been a huge fan of salads or sprouts. I love cooked carbohydrate foods, like pasta and breads. But for a while now, I've been thinking that I really need to increase the amount of raw foods I eat.)

So we tried it.

And it was awesome!! I loved it.

I had these spiced sweet-potato "pancakes" topped with avocado salad and macadamia feta, all displayed to perfection with tiny edible flowers and pomegranate seeds strewn over the plate.

Then we shared a raw choc-orange cheesecake for dessert.

I came away inspired to try out more raw food recipes at home.

However, working five days a week, studying part-time, with two young children and another on the way, while getting your home ready to sell, and - more recently - a husband in hospital, does not exactly lend itself to researching and trying out new recipes!!

But...I am now finished work, my husband is home from hospital, and our house is just about ready to go on the market, so....I am back with a vengeance.

The last few weeks, I've been having a look around at some of the raw food blogs and websites.

I read about how the protein structure of our food changes when it is heated, and actually becomes toxic and acidifying. Eating more than 20% of our food cooked is adding toxins faster than our body can clear them out.

And if I wasn't already inspired to be more raw, I certainly was after reading through this raw-food blog by an absolutely stunning woman, radiating health and vitality at 53 years young.

I want to glow like that!!

I'm still speechless over this woman's before and after photos. She looks half her age.

I discovered the Raw Chef's blog, and his divine-looking Chocolate Torte with Whipped Cashew Cream.

Really. I'm sold! How could I not be?

So. I've come up with a challenge for myself, to increase the amount of raw foods I eat.

Currently, on an average day, I eat probably 20 - 30% raw, mostly as snacks, such as fruit or raw nuts and seeds, and an occasional salad served with dinner, or on a lunchtime sandwich.

That is simply not good enough, for someone who wants to radiate with health!!

While I consider my diet to be a big improvement over the "Standard Australian Diet", there are still a number of changes that can be made, including more raw and fermented foods in my diet.

My challenge is to increase the amount of raw foods in my daily diet, to around 70 - 80%. That's roughly all but one meal per day. Some of the things I'm really keen to try are: making kefir and rejuvelac, making nut cheeses, experimenting with sprouted essene bread (I tried it once, but it wasn't really to my taste. I'm keen to experiment and find ways to make it enjoyable.), making a raw cheesecake, and experimenting with different salads and dressings.

Originally, I was going to give mtself 12 months to make the transition, but knowing me....that gives me too long to procrastinate. So I figured, why not just start now, today, with the aim of eating at least 70% raw each day.

I have three conditions for my challenge.

1. I'm a busy mum, with a lot going on. I simply do not have time for food that requires a lot of fiddly preparation. Not on a regular basis anyway. The food must be relatively simple and easy, and won't keep me in the kitchen for hours on end, while hungry children hang off my legs, waiting for their dinner.

2. Our grocery budget cannot be stretched any further. Any changes have to be done within our current budget.

3. Until I'm settled into my next home, which won't be for a number of months, I won't have a dehydrator, so recipes that require dehydrating are out.

I've decided to post my very own "before" picture, so that I will stay accountable. My "after" picture will be posted on the last day of this year - which happens to be my 30th birthday.

And so it is....with great trepidation....that I post this really big, really unflattering picture of myself, sans makeup, zits and all. Yes, as you can see, I have zits. Twenty nine years old, and still troubled by zits. I've had acne since I was 12 - that's 17 years of pimples!

Occasionally, through my adult life my skin has been quite good. Never perfect, but quite good at times. Now is not one of those times....

I'm pregnant, which may or may not be making matters worse. But I've been through months of stress, and the stress is coming out through my face.

And as if this was not enough to offend my sensibilities, the last couple of years I have started to develop rosacea around the nose and cheek area. I have noticed that this has improved a bit since drastically cutting down on dairy products, but hasn't completely gone away.

I'm really excited about this raw food challenge, and keen to see what it can do for my health.

Stay posted....:-)

When a Crisis is the Best Thing That Can Happen to You.

2011-09-01T20:06:00.002+10:00

On Tuesday evening, my husband finally came home from hospital. I fancy that the man who walked slowly and carefully out of those doors, was not quite the same person who went in, doubled over in agony and wondering if he was about to die.

Perhaps I am not the same person, either.

All the endless waiting that goes on in hospital does give a person a lot of time to think....

I'd been feeling trapped by my circumstances, and probably a bit resentful too. But I forgot to remember that I always had a choice. No matter what happens in life, I always have a choice, even if it's choosing my attitude.

I see now that I lost some of my positive spirit along the way. Because I was looking at things back-to-front.

And so.

I choose not to fight against all that is wrong with the world. Instead, I choose to encourage all that is right with the world.

This won't be easy, because I am, by nature, stubborn. A fighter. I'm good at fighting!! But it doesn't make me happy. It brings me no peace. It fires me up, and drains me at the same time. I do not want to magnify darkness by giving to it my precious time and energy.

I've also begun to realise that just when you think life can't get any more difficult. It does.

And just when you think you can't take any more. You do.

My best, most important insights have come not from joyous times when all seemed right with the world. They came in the depths of grief and despair, when I thought the world would end. But it didn't. Tomorrow dawned. And after that, another tomorrow. And then another. Raw wounds became scars became powerful reminders of lessons learnt.

And so.

I choose not to be defeated by difficulties. Instead I choose to learn from them, and be grateful that God saw fit to teach me things that will ultimately make me stronger, and better, and more understanding of others.

In the beginning, my husband just slept and slept. He was groggy from painkillers and medications, and couldn't really take in what was happening.

As the days passed, and he became more alert, and the full extent of his situation started to be revealed to us, we talked. Just like I asked God for the chance to do.

He told me - with tears in his eyes - that he can't stop imagining the day his sons are grown, and someone asks them about their dad, and they would say "Oh. He died when I was two. I don't remember him...."

The feeling in our family is different. Even my sons seem to have grown closer, more protective of each other. I am more understanding of my husband. He is more appreciative of my efforts.

And so.

I choose not to see this experience as an inconvenience, a nightmare or a bump in the road. Instead, I choose to see it as the best thing that could have happened to us...

*** My husband was diagnosed with a Type 2 aortic dissection. A serious, potentially fatal condition where the inside wall of the aorta tears, and blood starts leaking down between the layers of the wall, creating a new channel of blood, and compromising bloodflow to the rest of the body. The real danger is the tear becoming a hole, and blood pumping into the chest and abdomen, which is usually fatal.

An aortic dissection is quite uncommon, only a few hundred cases per year in Australia. He will need to take it easy for 6 weeks, and take care of himself for the rest of his life.

While in hospital, they noticed he had severe sleep apnoea and began to treat him for that. I knew he had it, but I never realised how completely it can affect someone's life. Basically someone who has sleep apnoea never gets into a deep sleep during the night, and their oxygen levels are so low, it's like they're drowning. They wake up feeling just as tired as the night before, and they have to drag themselves through the day, feeling exhausted. They are so tired, they cannot help falling asleep, even in inappropriate places.

He is now using a CPAP machine at night, to keep his airways open. It's taking a bit of getting used to, but oh...the lack of snoring is heavenly!! In time, it will hopefully translate into a more active, more energetic husband :-)

I can't help but feel that this is indeed a new chapter, a fresh page. I'm excited by the possibilities. Life, for all it's imperfectness, is a beautiful thing...

Things I Already Knew, But Never Thought About...Until This Week.

2011-08-20T17:34:00.000+10:00

*** Tell your husband that you love him. You truly may not get another chance. You just never can tell what a day will bring....

*** Most of the stuff that we worry about, and get stressed over, really doesn't matter in the end.

*** You don't realise what a blessing it is, to be in good health - until it's taken from you. Your health really is your wealth. Don't take it for granted.

*** It never rains but it pours. Keep an umbrella handy...

*** Good health depends apon small, seemingly unimportant, choices that we make day after day, year after year. But they all add up, and sooner or later they will be the difference between an active long life, or finding yourself in a hospital bed, well before your time, battling serious health issues.

*** There are some brilliant doctors and nurses out there, who go beyond the call of duty to care for their patients.

*** Visitors are wonderful, but only in small doses. Having to make conversation and be polite can be very tiring when you're sick and in pain.

*** Prevention is better than cure. It really can't be said any plainer.

*** Crises have a way of re-organising your priorities.

Tomorrow my husband will turn 40. He'll spend his birthday in hospital with a tear that extends from the top of the aorta all the way down into the arteries of the legs, a clot in one leg, and pneumonia in both lungs.

Today we should have had his first ever proper birthday party.

You just never can tell....

Yesterday's history. Tomorrow's a mystery, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.

Unhappily Ever After?: The Really Honest Fairytale.

2011-08-17T05:16:00.004+10:00

My husband almost died yesterday.

At first it was just a bach-ache. I was slightly annoyed when my peaceful early-morning cup of herbal tea was interrupted by the phone ringing. My husband asked me to bring some painkillers to his work.

And so I went. But I didn't rush. My husband takes painkillers for every ache and pain. I was sure this was nothing to be concerned about.

When I got to his work, I found him, in the back office. In the dark. Bent over in pain.

He took the painkillers, but the pain was getting worse by the minute. Now it had spread up his back, and into his chest. I decided to take him to hospital.

In the car, his pain was escalating. In hindsight, I should have called an ambulance, but we were already on the road by now. He was groaning and clutching at his chest.

At one point, overcome with pain, he grabbed my arm. When I turned to look at him, he looked me in the eye, and said "I might die...". When I close my eyes, I can still see the look on his face. He didn't need to say anything else. I already knew all the things he meant to say.

At the emergency department, he was seen straightaway.

His blood pressure was 215/78.

The ECG was normal. Chest x-ray was clear. After his pain was under control, they set about trying to find out what was wrong. A CT scan revealed a tear in the wall of the aorta - the main artery from the heart.

This was, indeed, something to be concerned about.

He was transferred by ambulance to the "trauma" hospital. They worked to get his blood pressure under control, before the pressure caused the tear to become unrepairable.

When I left him last night, he was groggy from morphine. The cardiac specialist had been to see him, but he couldn't really remember much of what was said, except that they would not operate just now.

My head was thumping. The day had been altogether too long. I was tired and irritable, and I came home to bed. All day, I had done the right things. Said the right things at the right time. Rubbed his back when he asked. But inside, I felt nothing. I was in robot mode. Cold and precise and practical.

But now I'm awake at 4am in the morning, and I'm anything but cold and precise and practical.

I'm filled with realisations and regrets.

I knew he was unwell. For a couple of years now, he's been unwell. Deep down, I knew it. But every time he fell asleep at inappropriate times, I was cranky with him. Every time he was too tired and lethargic to do anything but lay in front of the TV, half awake, half dozing, I was annoyed.

I wished he was more active and involved in our family. I wished he'd play with his sons more. I wished he'd help me out more. I wished he'd just get up and do something.

He tried to quit smoking so many times that I've lost count. Probably 25 times or more. Each time he quit okay. He just couldn't stay quit. After a while, I didn't even get my hopes up anymore.

I started to think of him as lazy and weak. Probably I lost some of my respect for him.

In my quieter moments, I dared to question if I even wanted him to be a role model to our sons.

I put a lot of effort into keeping myself and my sons healthy. But not so much my husband. On the whole, he was left to his own devices. I assumed he knew what was healthy and what was not, and could make his own decisions.

Maybe, deep down, I thought he was a "lost cause"?

I see now, that I have withdrawn emotionally from my marriage, quite a while ago. I stopped making an effort. It was easier just to depend apon myself, and not be too hopeful about other people.

When did it happen?

Was it when our first son was born, and the overwhelming depths of love and concern I felt, just pushed everything else into the background? Or when he sent our sons upstairs rather than turn off the M-rated movie he was watching? Or when I found my "life-calling" and threw myself into it with dedication and purpose, and possibly at the expense of my family?

Was it when he made me in charge of our finances, giving me a never-ending source of stress, and resentment when he didn't seem to share my financial worries?

(Or maybe he did worry, but just didn't say? Maybe that's why he ended up with a blood pressure of 215/78....???)

Could he feel the coldness emanating from me? The disappointment? When was the last time I was so overcome with feeling, that I just had to fling my arms around his neck and say "I love you"? Or sent him a text message for no reason except that I missed him?

When was the last time we just talked? Not planning, or organising, or discussing, or complaining, or arguing. Just talked.

I can't remember.

My head was full of trying to balance our budget, remember all the jobs I had to do tomorrow, work out what groceries to buy for the week and what will I cook for dinner, and....how would we pay that bill next week?

My marriage just didn't really figure in all of my figuring out.

I regret that.

I do not want to live unhappily ever after.

I want my husband here. Present. With us. Healthy, and happy and involved in the family.

I want to be thankful for what he is - kind and humble and faithful - instead of resentful for what he isn't.

I want to work together....not pull apart.

I want to take ownership for my contribution to where we find ourselves today - be the change I want to see in my marriage.

My sons are beside me, sleeping, their precious little faces lit with the glow from my computer screen. I want them to see a happy, loving marriage between their parents. I want their daddy to see them grow into men.

I want to talk. Openly and honestly. To say "Sorry" and "I love you".

Dear God.....let me have the chance.

Please.

On our wedding day. 13th September 2008.

The Cure for Cancer....Is In Your Pantry???

2011-08-02T07:58:00.001+10:00

About three months ago, my uncle was diagnosed with Stage 3 prostate cancer. His doctor urged him to have surgery, before it spread to other parts of the body.

He refused.

His doctor warned him that if he did nothing, he would simply "walk off into the sunset".

As luck would have it (or perhaps, more to the point, as God had arranged it) just a week or two before he was diagnosed, someone had passed along information to him about using bi-carb soda (yes, baking soda) to cure cancer. The friend who had passed on the information, had used baking soda to treat kidney cancer, after being sent home from hospital to die. One year later, she is still going strong.

He decided to try it first, before submitting to surgery. One teaspoon of bi-carb soda in a glass of water, morning and night, and each morning he tested his urinary pH level. His aim was to raise his pH level to 8.5 for 5 days straight, as cancer simply cannot thrive in such an alkaline environment. Meanwhile, he continued on with his daily life, as normal. He was not in any pain, in fact, he began to feel better than he had in ages.

After a month, his PSA (Prostate Specific Antigens) reading had come down by one full point.

Another month later he went for scans, which showed that the cancer had shrunk, but not completely.

Another month later, and his doctor has just given him the "all-clear". The ultrasound last week could find no evidence of any cancer. Officially "in remission".

Contrast this, with two of our other family friends and their recent battles with cancer. One recently passed away, after a couple of years of treatments - both conventional and natural - an unrecognisable shadow of her former self, aged just 54.

Our other friend, also in her 50's, began with lymphoma about 3 yrs ago. After some months of chemotherapy she went into remission. But last year, the cancer was back again, this time it was leukaemia. Her doctors admitted that this new cancer was caused by the previous chemotherapy treatment. Back down to Sydney she went, for more months in hospital, attached to a tube. She survived it, and came back home again.

Sadly, she is now in hospital again, fighting for her life. The leukemia is back again, and on top of it, she contracted swine flu while in hospital, which has now developed into pneumonia.

Now, can we say that my uncle's cancer won't come back? No. Only time will tell, if he has been cured permanently. But it does beg the question....

After decades of research, and over $200 billion in funding and public donations, the medical establishment can offer no better option, than A.) to cut you open B.) to burn your insides, with radiation, or C.) to poison you with chemotherapy?

Are we in the Dark Ages of Medicine, or something???

Where is the funding and research into something as cheap, and harmless, as bicarbonate of soda?

In Italy, Dr Tullio Simoncini treats cancer patients - many of them classified as "terminal" - by injecting bi-carb soda directly into the site of the cancer. His theory is that cancer is actually a fungus (quite possibly candida, which I've written about before), and bicarb soda is a very potent anti-fungal.

His success rate is somewhere around 90% (remember that many of his patients are "terminal", in other words, there is no hope for them...). Some cancers have a better success rate than others.

There's another school of thought which also helps to explain why baking soda is effective against cancer. Baking soda is highly alkaline. Cancer thrives in an acidic environment.

Unfortunately for us, today's diet and lifestyle promotes acidity. Stress, medications, antibiotics, processed food, yeast, dairy products, sugar, red meat, alcohol, smoking, chemicals and toxins - all of these make your body acidic. The ideal ratio of alkaline foods (fresh vegetables, whole grains) to acidic is about 80:20. Most of us are eating the opposite - 20% alkaline to 80% acidic, and wondering why we have aches and pains, low energy, hormonal disturbances, bad skin, digestion problems....

There are some natural health practitioners that believe NO DISEASE KNOWN TO MAN, can survive in an alkaline environment. Do you realise what the ramifications of this could mean for society? The elimination of disease, cheaply and safely, without unnecessary procedures, vaccines or medications?

Just imagine...

Re-Discovering Me.

2011-07-23T20:41:00.000+10:00

When I look back over the winding journey I've made so far, I can see how each experience has shaped who I am, and prepared me for the next experience.

I really believe everything happens for a reason - I know it's become a cliche to say so...I also believe that everything happens in the perfect time and place that it's meant to. Sometimes it takes the benefit of hindsight to see it. Sometimes the good break comes, just when you think you're about to break.

Last September we had a holiday booked for Tonga, but my husband was injured, and ended up having surgery just days before we were due to fly out.

Sad and disappointed, we called off our trip. The airline could not give us a refund, but did give us credit, to be used within 12 months from the time of the original booking. That gave us until the end of July this year.

But fast forward to this year, and money was tighter than ever before. How on earth could we afford a holiday? But we didn't want to waste our $2000 worth of airline credit either.

We decided to take a family holiday to the Gold Coast, with our children and my husband's older children, since we managed to get hold of cheap fares. We found accommodation, and booked a hire car. The money from my cleaning contract would have to be our spending money.

I cannot tell you how many times I was tempted to call it off. I thought about how the accommodation and car hire would be better spent paying off that burdensome credit card debt. I thought about how those 10 days could be better spent painting our house and fixing it, ready to sell.

The only thing that stopped me, was that we'd already told my step-children, and they were so looking forward to it, since we've never had a family holiday together. I just didn't have the heart to disappoint them.

Now that I'm back home from holidays, I can unequivocally say that it was the best, and the most necessary holiday ever.

Before we left I was exhausted in every possible way - physically, mentally, emotionally, and stressed beyond belief.

It's amazing how things can be put into perspective, once you're removed from the situation.

I got a few chances to go walking by myself and discovered all manner of interesting little shops, and in my wanderings, discovered that there was a kinesiologist right across the road from our apartment, so I booked myself in.

It was another right choice.

She tested my hormone levels and found that all of my "stress" hormones were thoroughly depleted (This piece of information did not surprise me in the slightest). She also found a number of foods that my body is not handling very well at the moment, and she advised me to cut them out for a while. One of them was wheat, the other was dairy products, including cheese. I love cheese!! This was such a blow! I would eat cheese with everything, if I could...

But funnily enough, I've hardly missed it at all.

The kinesiologist also worked through some emotional issues, and did some balancing. She said that I had become disconnected from myself, and did some mind-body-spirit balancing.

She also said that I MUST find a little bit of time each day to relax, even just for 5 minutes, as my body was running on empty.

I thought secretly to myself: "Ha! Wishful thinking!!"

But afterwards I went away and thought it over, and realised that actually, there were a number of changes I could make.

For instance, when I get home from work, I like to go on facebook. It's my "unwinding" time, but actually, even though I looked forward to it, it also wasn't good for me. I often spent a lot longer than I'd planned, checking out links and videos that people had posted, by which time both my sons were jumping on the bed and demanding attention, and then dinner was late, and everyone was cranky. Including me.

So, I bid an indefinite farewell to Facebook. Yes, I've been tempted to sneak a peek at times, but I've stopped because my newfound sense of self, and sense of wanting to hold on to my peace, is too strong and means too much to me.

Another change I've made is in the mornings, I normally have to get up really early (5.15am early!) to drop my husband to work. It's only 5 minutes away, but it's been too bitterly cold for him to walk. In the beginning I hated it, and resented having to do it, but then I found myself with a whole one-and-a-half hours of blissful peace and quiet all to myself, before the boys wake up.

I would do my stretches, and then make myself a cup of tea and watch the news, before getting lunches ready and waking up the boys.

But thinking over it more, I realised that even though I love to keep up with current affairs, it's also not very good for me either. Most of the news is negative, so I made another bold move. No more watching the news. Instead, I would play some relaxing music, and read a book while drinking my cuppa.

Yesterday morning was my first opportunity to put it into practice.....and it worked!!! I felt so relaxed, that my eldest son's usual morning antagonism could not ruffle my feathers. I weathered it with sense of humour intact. Normally, I am so harrassed and stressed that by the time I get everyone out the door in time for school, work and childcare, I feel like I've already worked a full day.

That visit to the kinesiologist was such a profound experience for me. It's hard to describe to others, but I feel like it was meant to be, and in fact, that the holiday might well turn out to be a life-changing experience. And not a moment too soon, either...My life was in need of changing.

I kind of feel like I discovered myself again, and it was like meeting a long-lost friend and finding that they were just as you remembered them.

Even though I loved our holiday and the beautiful warm weather, and didn't really want to come home, there was another part of me that was excited about coming back to my "real life" and all it's challenges, and putting into place all my new ideas and new perspectives.

I'm excited to be excited about my life again!!

This year has been hard for me. Maybe even the hardest year ever, so far. And I'm afraid that I have not weathered it with the grace and dignity that I would have liked. My faith and my positive spirit have wavered many times. I'm ashamed to say that some nights, exhausted, fretting over our financial situation, and unable to get my sons to stop squabbling and go to sleep, I have screamed at God with helpless rage, begging for just a tiny break, a little rest. Something! Anything! Afterwards feeling guilty and worse than before, yet He loved me just as ever. And He gave me the break. More than I asked for, more than I deserved.

But it was perfectly what I needed.

My Life and Times....they are a'changing.

2011-06-12T09:59:00.000+10:00

If anyone still reads this blog (?!?!), you might remember this post from a little while ago, where I was completely overwhelmed, over-worked and thoroughly fed up with everything.

I was struck down with an awful virus at the time, which really "hit me for six". Months later, and I'm just kicking it off now. Thank goodness.

It has become clear to us that things must change. We really cannot keep living like this.

So, we've made some decisions that we're really excited about, and the life and times of this ordinary girl are about to be a'changing.

Not least of these being.....that we have another baby on the way! I know. I've been keeping it a secret. I'm already more than half-way there! No doubt, many people will question why on earth we would bring another child into our family, when we are already struggling to get by.

The same thought has crossed my mind, too...

Anyway, what's done is done. Our child will be loved just the same, whether we are struggling or not. But it does mean our other plans need to be fast-tracked a bit.

We are going to be selling our home. We've already started to put the wheels in motion, by getting appraisals from real-estate agents, and starting on the gerzillion jobs around the house that you've never noticed needed doing...until you thought about selling it.

I've already started packing away non-essential stuff. Yesterday I cleaned and sorted out the garage, so we can get as much clutter stored away out of sight. Today's job is to wash and scrub the decking. Tomorrow's job is cleaning up the garden.

Thank goodness for the long weekend.

There's been good capital gains in our area since we bought our home back in 2005. We've figured out that if we can sell our house for the price we have in mind, we can pay out the mortgage, pay off all credit card debt, update our 13-year-old car, and still have around $110,000 left to start over again somewhere else.

The thought of being debt-free is what keeps me going, when I look around and realise we still have so much to do, and only a limited time-frame if we are to be out before a new baby arrives.

We're thinking of heading north, to a little town along the coast, where my husband knows people who can get him work.

I've already had a look at some of the real estate. We can buy a house with four bedrooms (our current one has three), with a bigger backyard (for the children to play, and me to indulge in my secret wish to become semi-sufficient), and with our deposit, STILL have a mortgage that is about $60,000 less than our current one.

And a warmer climate to boot.

Who wouldn't?!?!

And yes, I've been persevering with my studies. As much as I can under the circumstances. I recently finished a module on Nutrition, which was eye-opening and astounding, and thoroughly fascinating. The module before that - Musculoskeletal Anatomy - I recieved a High Distinction for. Don't ask me how...

I've now started on my first kinesiology subject. More thoroughly astounding and fascinating things to learn!! Now I need to find some brave subjects to start practicing my new skills on.

I know I won't get my studies finished before the baby comes. That's ok. I'll just do the best I can.

I'm dreaming of the time when we move to our new town near the beach, and I set up a little part-time clinic, and earn income by doing something I love.

So much to look forward to. So much effort required to get there!!

But it feels like the right move for our family.

A Really Embarrassing Problem....and How I Cured It (By Accident!!)

2011-05-23T21:23:00.002+10:00

This is rather embarrassing. I am going to tell the world my embarrassing secret, after carefully hiding it for ten years.

Only because there may be someone else reading who has the same problem.

You see, I've always been a sweater. You know, one of those people who have big damp patches soaking through the armpit of their shirt?? Except I was always careful to wear clothes that hid it.

I didn't have sweaty feet, or a sweaty forehead. Just constantly sweating under my arms. I hated it!!!! Even when I was cold, I was still sweating!

I first started to notice it as a problem when I was about 18, and for a while I managed to control it with anti-perspirants. (I stopped using anti-perspirants after I found out they contain aluminium.) After a year or two, as it gradually got worse, I had to give up the idea of wearing white shirts in Summer. Big no-no!!

And then I had to give up wearing white shirts in Winter too. Eventually, I just wore black shirts a lot.

I even turned down a job once, because the uniform was a red fitted shirt, and I knew it would be a disaster.

I searched all over the internet for answers to this embarrassing problem, even buying an e-book that claimed my embarrassing problem would go away if I just exfoliated under my arms.

Which I did. Faithfully and rigorously.

Still, I sweated like a polecat on heat....with exfoliated armpits.

Maybe I was self-conscious. That must be it!! So, I worked on gaining confidence. Still I sweated like the proverbial pole-cat.

After 10 years, I resigned myself to wearing black shirts for the rest of my life.

Last year, as many of my readers know, I was having all kinds of epiphanies about health, and I committed myself to making some big changes. My sweaty armpits were the furtherest thing from my mind at the time.

I stopped drinking tap water, cut out sugar, cut out white flour and processed foods almost entirely, and swapped to completely natural skin and hair products. After a while, I started to feel SOOOO much better. It was not until several months later, after Summer arrived, that I suddenly realised with a shock.....I was not sweating!!!!

I checked under my arm. No damp spots. I checked the other arm. No damp spot.

It was almost too good to be true. I couldn't stop checking under my arm, and revelling in how dry and how.....normal, they were!!

Looking back, the problem began after I moved out of home at 18, and started drinking tap-water instead of rainwater (which contains fluoride and chlorine - both toxins), and for the first time in my life, had utter control over my own diet. As a struggling student, it is fair to say that I lived on some rather junky food. In fact, I remember clearly one fortnight when we had several bills to pay, we lived on white bread and butter. Really healthy stuff!!

My only theory is that while I was cursing my sweating problem for ten whole years, my body was desperately trying to clear toxins out via the skin.

Now that I have less toxins going on, obviously there's less toxins coming out. Does that make sense?

PS. In case you're wondering, I do still sweat if I'm exercising or nervous/stressed. I assume this is what normal armpits do?!

The Un-Welcome Guests Who Wrecked My Fresh-Baked Pies.

2011-04-30T08:27:00.001+10:00

Does anyone else have a "mouse problem"???

This story is just so gross, I can't help but tell everyone!!

Last week, I was feeling energetic, and decided to do some cooking. I prepared two large shepherd's pies, one for our dinner the following night, and the other to take to our friend who has been babysitting our sons while we work.

It took me ages!!

By the time I'd finished cooking them, it was getting late, and I decided to just turn the oven off, and leave them in there to cool, while I went to bed.

In the morning, I came downstairs, and my feeling of satisfaction quickly turned to horror, when I realised that mice had somehow been able to climb up in the back of the oven overnight, and had nibbled away at the melted cheese on top.

And....

Sitting on top of one of the pies, was a little black mouse poo.

Unbelievable!!

I knew we had mice in the house. I've seen one darting around in the bottom of the pantry, and one dart behind the piano. The other day, I was thoroughly charmed to open up my bra drawer, and find my bra's covered in little mice poos.

I just never thought they'd be able to get into a closed oven....

I'm now ruing the day, a few months ago, when I accidentally pulled a shovelfull of tiny baby mice from the compost bin out the back, and my mothers heart felt so awful, that I carefully placed them back inside, so their mummy could find them.

These are probably the same mice who are now pooing all over my bras, and on my shepherd's pies. Grrrrr...

But not for much longer. I've declared war on the un-welcome guests in my house. And I think I'm winning. In the meantime, don't leave food in your oven. You never know who might be pooing and weeing all over it.... :-)

Thank You...

2011-04-27T19:09:00.000+10:00

...to the everday angel who anonymously sent me a $100 gift card to buy groceries. I can only assume you are a reader of my blog, who also knows me in real life.

It was very helpful, highly appreciated, and someday when I'm able, I'll "pay it forward" to somebody else who needs a helping hand.

Discouraged....

2011-04-10T15:43:00.000+10:00

I hate whingers! Normally, I'm a positive-pro-active person, and I keep my "moments" to myself, but....I figure it's my blog, and I can write whatever I like...

The truth is, I'm feeling thoroughly disheartened and discouraged.

My husband finally got back to work, a month or so, after 7 months off work due to injury which was only partly covered by Workcover. (Enough so that we weren't eligible for Centrelink, but not enough to cover all our bills and mortgage and expenses.)

Now, in an effort to catch up on our debts, we are both working two jobs.

Five days a week, I'm up before dark (and even then, my husband has already left for work an hour earlier) to get myself and my kids fed, dressed and ready for the day. Then I'm taking my youngest son to our friends to be looked after for the day, then coming back to drop my older son to school (at least I get to take him to school in the morning...I've got to be thankful for that.) My husband finishes work in time to pick him up from school (Something else to be thankful for.)

Three afternoon's a week, I'm staying back late at work, to do the cleaning contract (my second job). By the time I've picked up my youngest son and arrived home, I'm so tired I can hardly be bothered to cook. In fact, for the last month or two, the majority of nights, my family has been eating toast or fruit for dinner.

On the weekend, my husband works all night Friday, and sometimes Saturday night, so he's sleeping during the day, while I'm trying to catch up on housework and washing, and trying to spend some time with my children.

My studies are at a stand-still. My website that I was so passionate about, has not been touched in months.

I hardly even know if you can call this a life...

I'm glad we've managed to get extra work, I really am. But even with two lots of incomes, we're still struggling to cover all our bills, and keep up with our mortgage and credit card repayments. This week I had $40 to buy groceries for my family. It it were a one-off thing, I wouldn't care much, I'd simply use up what I had in my pantry. But after months of a limited food budget, the pantry can't be relied apon either.

Our credit cards are all maxed to the limit - all $22,000 worth of credit card limit. At the beginning of last year, our credit card debt was $19,000. I worked so hard, scraping and saving and managed to pay them down to $12,000 by September last year, even though I was only working a couple of hours a week last year. Now, all the hard work has come undone, and we've got to start over again.

Our mortgage takes up almost half of our wages. (No we don't have a McMansion on the hill. We have a 3-bedroom townhouse.)

It has become very, very obvious, that we simply cannot afford to live in Canberra any more. It simply cannot be done, while having any quality of life or enjoying my kid's childhoods.

I'm hearing whispers that we are not alone in our situation. That families all around Australia are struggling to make ends meet, and put food on the table. Unfortunately, it doesn't make it any less disheartening, or less disappointing, to work so hard but still keep going backwards.

All it tells me, is that things have gone awry, in the "lucky country". The "Great Australian Dream" of owning a home in the suburbs, has become one long nightmare, for too many families. Including ours.

My husband has agreed to sell up our house next year, and move somewhere smaller and cheaper. The value of our home has increased nicely since we bought it, so we should be able to walk away with a substantial deposit to buy somewhere else, and enough to get rid of all the nasty credit cards too, which are hanging around our necks like nooses.

But before we can sell, this house needs to painted, inside and out, and the garden fixed up, and back fences replaced. Theoretically, that's what we planned to do this year, and have the house ready for sale by early next year.

When we'll find the time, or the money to do this, I don't know.

In the meantime, we continue to struggle through, the best that we can.

And at night, when I fall into bed exhausted, I just have time to close my eyes and hope that my children will understand, that we never intended our lives to be this way, and....but I'm already asleep, before I've even finished thinking the thought.