The Life Change Project

Tuesday Night Treadmill YAY

2015-02-24T19:46:00.002-08:00

I am not necessarily saying YAY in regards to the treadmill but about what I was able to accomplish tonight on the treadmill.

After Sunday's beautiful run I was almost dreading getting on the treadmill tonight but decided I need to get it done for myself mentally. Since last weeks breakdown I feel more in control and less likely to fall apart about things going on in my personal life.

So I decided to get it done before dinner and man am I glad I did. I decided I was going to slow up the pace just a little and focus on going for longer. I was going to just run til I couldn't then do a minute of running. I am thrilled to say I went for 13 minutes without taking a walk break. That is like the first time in what feels like forever since I could do that. All this training must be starting to pay off.

Do you ever surprise yourself on a run?

Restart Run

2015-02-22T17:53:00.001-08:00

This last week has been pretty hard emotionally. I felt like it was time to say good-bye to running and this blog because of how down I felt. However, after a really good couple of cries and setting up something with a counselor to help me cope with things, I feel like I am in a much better place emotionally and mentally.

I spent the rest of the week just trying to make it through Friday. I did alot of thinking in regards to running and to this blog. By Friday night after my most decent day of the week emotionally I felt like I was finally ready to step back into running and blogging. I decided to have my restart begin today.

So that it exactly what I did this morning. First I researched online some trails in the Surrey area that I might enjoy. I went for the trail idea to give myself something new to look at and also so that if I was out and seeing the beauty of nature that it might make it easier. I ended up deciding to do the Mud Bay Park Trails.

If felt great once I got started. I had originally thought I was only going to do 4 miles but felt so good that by the time I was done I ended up doing 5 miles. Not fast of course but I felt no regret about the pace I was going. I feel like this step back that I took this week may be more beneficial than I thought when I did it. I can actually say that I am looking forward to my week and any runs that I may have during the week.

Have you ever stepped back and did a restart?

It's Over

2015-02-16T20:25:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking alot about this lately. I think it's time I quit blogging. not that I have been blogging much as it is.

It doesn't really matter considering I was never really good at it anyways. Right now I am at a very low point in my existence and I just don't think that anything I write will make any difference.

I have tried very hard over the past year and some to work things out in my life but that this point none of it is going get me anywhere.

I have run and logged lots of time running but to tell you the truth it hasn't felt like I have gotten any better at it and half the time I struggle but try to put on a positive outlook. Sure I have lost a few pounds but when it comes down to it, it hasn't changed my life at all. Sure I feel better after a run but it is only a temporary band aid to what ails me mentally.

Things have been hard. I know many thousands of people probably have it worse than me and kudos for them and the fact that they can keep moving forward. But for myself I am not moving forward I am stagnating.

I am stagnating in my professional life with my biggest prospect being maybe getting an actual position one day HA. Not likely from what I have been seeing going on.

Personally, I feel very negative and like I am toxic to everyone and everything that I come into contact with. D is not getting much better and after what went on tonight when I got home from work I feel helpless.

Maybe I need to do more than walk away from this blog. Maybe I just need to walk away from my life although I highly doubt going or doing anything else is going to help either. It will probably be just as crummy.

So for now I am saying good-bye I might be back one day but at this point in my low I just don't see it.

Thank you to everyone who has ever read and commented on my stupid blithering.

Sunday Morning Treadmill Run

2015-02-08T12:05:00.001-08:00

Even though it is not raining outside I decided that I needed to do my run on the treadmill. The excuse one of my favorite shows Homicide Hunter with Lt. Kendra was one. I love the way he talks as he is full of one liners just like Jerry Orbach used to have on Law & Order.

So for the first half hour I was able to do 4:1's quite easily and still felt good but was starting to tire.,So for the last half hour I did 2:1's so that I wasn't pushing myself to hard.

I finished feeling good but very sweaty. It felt great to just kind of zone out and run while watching my show. It also made it so that I wasn't concentrating to hard on the time that was passing. Plus, I needed to burn off the calories from yesterday's yummy waffle meal that I had with my mom, Katie and D.

Do you sometime run on the treadmill so that you can watch your favorite shows?

Almost Friday Run

2015-02-05T20:48:00.000-08:00

I am super happy that it is almost Friday and to make it even better it is also a long weekend. Can we say yahoo.

I was in a good mood all day which was nice as it seemed to make me to forward to my run this evening. I already knew it was going to be a treadmill run because of all the rainfall warnings for the Greater Vancouver Area. I am not fond enough of the rain to run in torrential downpours.

Anyhow I got home relaxed for a few minutes and then jumped on the treadmill. It felt easy and nice. I don't know what it is but I seriously have an easier time running when I am in a good mood. On Tuesday when I ran I was in a foul mood after a long day at work that included an hour of overtime. It was the worst run that I had in a long while.

Tonight's run though was awesome I felt good right from the start and I didn't feel like I was struggling. That makes me feel even better on top of my already really good mood.

Looking Forward To Spring

2015-01-27T19:25:00.002-08:00

All day at work I was looking forward to coming home and getting my run in. So pretty much as soon as I got through the door from work I got changed and jumped on the treadmill.

Not that it was a bad day at all, I was just looking forward to getting it done as I felt energetic today. It has started to stay lighter a bit outdoors so I am hoping that in the next couple of weeks or so it may get to the point where I can run in the evening before it gets too dark outside.

I think that it really hit me on Sunday when I was running outside how much I missed it so I am definitely looking forward to getting more runs in outside. Not that I dislike running on the treadmill just that it will be nice to have other options as well.

Are you looking forward to spring time running?

Sunday Run Outdoors Finally

2015-01-25T13:31:00.001-08:00

I realize it has been a few weeks since I have posted but my life has been a little crazier than normal. Not something that I really want to talk about. I have been keeping my running up on though on the treadmill.

I think spring must be in the air as recently it has been starting to rain quite a bit but the temps are getting nicer out. So even though I was going to do a treadmill run today things that were beyond my control made it so that I had to head outdoors.

I started out to fast and I knew it when my right shin started to complain at me. So I slowed it up a bit and then it quit complaining and I ended up having what I feel was a very nice Sunday run. Thankfully it didn't rain and the sun was evening threatening to come out and say hello. So maybe I was meant to run outdoors today to remind me why I like to run.

Do you ever start off a run angry or upset and then have to slow down because some body part or other starts complaining?

TGIF Treadmill Run

2015-01-09T21:35:00.002-08:00

This has felt like an incredibly long week. I did run on Tuesday but I was too bagged to write about it plus it has been a little bit of a rough week with D.

I also manage to walk for a half hour on Monday and Wednesday. Tuesday I was again super thankful for my treadmill as it was so foggy outside that you couldn't barely see 20 feet ahead of you. I ended up with a mid week funk I am partially blaming the fog for that one.

So after finishing this long week at work I decided that to finish my work week I needed to get a run in. So after coming home and relaxing for about an hour I got changed and jumped on the treadmill before dinner. I felt pretty good and the phantom pain in my knee didn't seem to bother me at all. Now to relax for the rest of the evening and I am looking forward to my 5k run I plan on doing on Sunday.

Do you ever get mysterious pain that seems to go away in about a day?

Sunday Treadmill Run Day

2015-01-04T16:35:00.002-08:00

Well it has definitely been an interesting couple of days. On Friday night when I was doing my walk on the used treadmill I had bought off of craigslist. The motor started smoking combined with a god-awful smell. I quickly unplugged the treadmill and let D and T know that something was very wrong with the treadmill.

So Saturday morning while I searched for a deal on a new treadmill (brand new, like from a store) D and T decided they were going to try and see if they could fix the broken treadmill. After making the decision as to which one I was going to buy. D and T finally agreed that my current treadmill was as dead as it could get without putting a new motor in it and hoping that would fix the problem.

Truthfully I was fully expecting the duct tape to come into play but somehow we avoided the topic. I went to the Walmart later in the afternoon and after trying to get help for over half an hour I ended up out the door with a new treadmill. I got the 420 Gold's Gym treadmill. When we got home Katie set it up (yep, that's right she is smart and mechanical) so of course she got to have the maiden run on it. After dinner I did my half hour walk on it and so far I am loving it.

So it being Sunday today and with the weather having issued a winter storm warning with lots of rain mixed with snow I was even more thankful that I picked up the treadmill yesterday. So I jumped on it today and did a 5k run on it doing 2:1's.

I think I may spend some time this week playing with the different features that it says it has on the box. But I am glad I got my run in and that I didn't need to worry about the treadmill starting a fire or having or horrible smell fill the living room.

Did you get a run today? Have you ever been on the treadmill when it finally bit the dust?

Goodbye 2014 Thoughts

2014-12-31T23:24:00.002-08:00

It has definitely been a year of ups and downs. Between learning to deal with D's condition better and making some progress towards getting it under control. Although we are far from having it completely under control.

I am extremely thankful for everyone I know who has been helpful by either helping with crazy situations or just being a shoulder to cry on or an active ear when things are hard.

I accomplish a major goal this year and that was running the Vancouver Rock 'N' Roll Half Marathon. It was an awesome experience and I can't wait til I run another half in the late spring. It was hard but it was also very life affirming and an experience that I will cherish forever. I also look forward to this next year and being able to have more great memories. It was also really awesome that I am so thankful that I got to share the experience with my daughter Katie.

My goals for 2015.

1) Spend more quality time with the family

2) Run at least 2 half marathons

3) Love myself more or at least learn to be more accepting of myself

4) Read at least 1 new book a month

I am sure that I will think of more as the year progresses and will post when I realize other goals that transpire.

Have you taken stock of 2014 yet and what major goals do you have for 2015?

Back At It Run

2014-12-28T11:22:00.001-08:00

I haven't done much in the way of exercise this last week. I refuse to feel guilty about it as many things were beyond my control.

It has been a fairly difficult week as Darcy has had the worse week in the last couple of months with his condition. Which meant that I did more babysitting (trying to make sure he didn't wreck the whole house) than anything else. Even Christmas was a bit of a gong show but not as bad the the last couple of years.

Yesterday was a good day and I jut enjoyed it so I decided that we would do waffles and I would have some Mimosa's. It was the first time I tried mimosa's and they were awesome they go really well with waffles too.

So today it was time to atone for all the waffles and mimosa's. So I laced up and hit the treadmill. It felt really good and I stuck to 2:1's because of the lack of running for the last week. Hopefully, this week will be better. Although; I know that Darcy's condition was exacerbated by the excitement of Christmas and a few other personal things.

Now to finish up the laundry and relax for the rest of the day while doing intermittent cleaning.

Did you have a difficult time getting a run in around Christmas?

Nice Outside Sunday Run

2014-12-21T11:35:00.001-08:00

My plans for running outside on Sunday's worked out for me this week. Finally a day without either torrential downpour or really windy. Last night when I looked outside I thought if this doesn't let up there's no way. Thankfully though when I got up this morning there was lots of fog and blue skies peeking through.

So I decided that if I wanted to get out there and do it this morning was the best time before it decides to rain again (which the weatherman is threatening). So out the door I went. In the lower mainland the saying usually goes "if you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes or move 5 miles" because the weather is usually pretty erratic.

It felt good to be back out there and is definitely a nice switch from the treadmill. I wasn't the only one out there enjoying the no rain and wind this morning. I saw lots of people walking their dogs or even just walking. Since it wasn't really cold out I didn't even have to worry about slipping on ice or frost. I just had to work at not slipping on the patches of wet leaves which are everywhere.

Did you have a nice Sunday run? Was it indoors or outdoors?

Almost Friday Treadmill Run

2014-12-11T21:11:00.001-08:00

That's right I said it. It is almost Friday and it could not have come soon enough. This feels like it has been a really long week.

I have had a really rough time this week getting motivated. Of course the weather could be playing a large factor in this as we on the lower mainland are officially at what is normal for winter here. Rainfall warnings every other day and lots of wind to go with it. Maybe it is also because I haven't run this week.

So even though I felt like I didn't have the energy to run today I hopped on the treadmill and got it done. Not really far and sure not fast but the point is that I finished it.

When the weather bad do you have a hard time getting motivated?

Sunday Run

2014-12-07T12:22:00.000-08:00

I failed this week in regards to how many days I did my walks or my run. Although, I did get my run in this morning. Physically felt great but took a little bit to get into it mentally.

Once I got into it mentally it was a great run even kicked up up and did 2:1's the entire time. Now I am a sweaty mess and am looking forward to relaxing for the rest of the day and finish wrapping what Christmas present have been bought so far.

It was a nice beginning to the day after a great evening out with some wonderful people (CIC Girls). There was good food, company and lots of pictures that were taken.

Tuesday Night = Get Sweaty Night

2014-12-02T21:01:00.004-08:00

As it is still really cold outside and most of the ice and snow have not melted I was once again grateful to be able to run indoors. Luckily NCIS was on tv (one of my favorite shows) so I watched while I ran.

I was tempted to skip running today as I was mentally exhausted but I managed to convince my brain that even though it was tired, my body was not. So I got on the treadmill and got it done.

I didn't seem to go as far today as I did on Sunday but I did increase the time. Instead of doing 1:1's I did 1.5:1's. Not a huge increase I know but if I keep increasing comfortably I figure I will be able to keep increasing my time running against time walking or at least that seems to be the plan.

Did you get out for a run today? Do you still convince yourself to run even though you are mentally drained?

Sunday Morning Running On Treadmill

2014-11-30T11:27:00.003-08:00

I did have the intention of running outside on Sunday's but am very thankful for the treadmill. Especially since it is -2 outside with a wind chill of -6. With ice everywhere from Friday nights snow. I know that I am definitely not coordinated enough to run in that.

I think I am becoming way more comfortable with the speeds on the treadmill finding myself going fast than I have been. I have been in the habit of putting the incline to 1.00 to help mimic the roads. Although to mimic the roads in this neighborhood I would probably need to set the incline to 8 with all the hills in my neighborhood.

I felt really smart getting all my laundry done last night and now that I am all sweaty it's time to shower and get some fresh clothes on and spend the rest of the day cleaning and trying to relax before this next week starts.

Do you switch to the treadmill when it's icy outside (so you don't hurt yourself through being uncoordinated)?

Thursday Night Treadmill Run

2014-11-27T19:49:00.002-08:00

I got home from work today feeling better than I have in days. I am not sure if it is because I walked yesterday or the fact that it didn't rain all day like the weatherman was threatening.

Before dinner I decided it was time to get my run on as dinner was going to be a while. Thankfully, I have the treadmill because it has been fairly windy all day and when I got home it was just starting to rain.

It felt good to be running (even if it is on the treadmill) and Katie was harassing me because I am slower than she is. It is all good though she is faster than me but I just tell her I make her look really good with my slow running.

Looking forward to the fact that tomorrow is Friday and I will have 2 days off to get relaxed enough to head back to work on Monday.

Do you have a child that likes to harass you about your running?

Gotta Get To It

2014-11-26T21:08:00.000-08:00

I mentioned somewhere in my last couple of posts that the time change has seemed to take me for a loop. I am still in a slump and haven't been able to keep it together to keep exercising. I don't know if it is the time change or maybe the season that has me feeling just exhausted all the time.

The worst part about this is that not running or exercising everyday is starting to affect every part of my life.With everything that I am dealing with working, dealing with D's issues and being a mother but I came close to my breaking point. Here I was on the way to work almost in tears throughout the day things started looking a bit more optimistic (it could also be because being at work quiets my mind).

So after dinner digested a bit I decided I needed to do something physical and hopefully start getting out of this funk. I did a half hour on the treadmill walking and am already starting to feel even better about things. Tomorrow night I am going to run on the treadmill which I am now very grateful that we got because Environment Canada has issued a rainfall warning. YAY more rain.

How you pull yourself out of a bad funk?

Thursday Night Run

2014-11-20T21:56:00.003-08:00

After what seemed like a very long day I was tempted to not bother running but decided that doing that isn't going to help me achieve my goals.

I don't know what it is but every time I have a shift that starts after 10 am it just seems like a really long day. It was a fairly good day though and I am super grateful that tomorrow is Friday.

I came home and had a fairly healthy supper fish and perogies. Yep, that's right perogies So I did wait a little bit before attempting to run as I remember the last time I ate perogies and then ran. It was not a pretty sight or good feeling.

So now that I have my run completed it's time to really relax, have a hot bath and then head to bed to get a good nights sleep before work tomorrow.

Do you work different shifts at work? Does it mess with your running at all?

My New To Me Treadmill

2014-11-18T20:59:00.002-08:00

With the weather getting a little frosty and also with it being dark in the mornings and early in the evenings I was starting to dread heading out to do any runs. There are a couple of reasons for this.

1) I am not that coordinated so I would probably slip and fall with any amount of frost on the ground.

2) With it getting darker earlier I worry about my safety. For those of you in the lower mainland you will know what I mean when I live in Surrey. For those that don't live in the lower mainland this might help explain why I worry.

So with this in mind D and me talked about this over the last couple of weeks. After scouring craigslist we found a good working electric treadmill for me to run on during this time of year. I will still be running outside but I think that will be mainly on Sunday's when I can run outside while it is light out.

I am really impressed and happy at how well it works. It is a little loud but just a really good excuse to turn either the music or tv up while exercising. I went for my run tonight on my new to me treadmill. I will a little slower than usual as I was messing with the speeds on it to find my sweet spot but I got 2.03 miles in so it's all good.

Next time will be faster.

Do you take to running on treadmills during the winter months?

My Get Up And Go Has Got Up And Went Without Me

2014-11-16T12:37:00.002-08:00

I don't know if it was the time change or the sudden change in the weather that has derailed my running. Maybe a little of both but it is time to get back out there and start doing what I need to do in terms of running.

So I headed out the door and the sun was shining beautifully. However, it was freaking cold outside for the first few minutes that I ran it felt like I was breathing in a freezer it was so cold on the throat. Then my body warmed up and it didn't feel so cold anymore. It was only 2 degrees Celsius as I headed out the door.

It was a nice run and it felt good to be back out there doing what I need and want to do. I have felt myself slipping further and further into a funk and I think the major contributor was the fact that I haven't been getting out there and running. So it is now time to recommit to my plan for running and stick to it even if the weather sucks.

Now to do some clean up in the house and relax before the week of crazy work hours starts again.

Do you ever find that your get up and go has got up and went without you?

Back Into The Swing Of Things

2014-11-04T20:51:00.001-08:00

Well after my pitiful attempt at a run last week I had decided to take the rest of the week off and let my legs get less tired. So today after work I decided I felt good mentally and my legs didn't feel like lead so I decided it was now or never.

D was having a pretty decent day so I convinced him to go with me. Happily to my surprise my legs felt great so I guess I have given them enough of a break. Since we turned the clocks back on Sunday it is now dark in the evenings around 4ish. So I felt a little more safe with someone running with me. I don't think it is to hard on him considering he used to be in track all through his school days so I was probably going way slower than he is used too.

So we are a couple blocks away from home and we get to an intersection and he stops. I take a quick look and figure I can so beat this truck that is coming up the road. I go to nudge D and end up shoving him as I tried to do this nudge as I was running. We get across the road and he starts going on about how I was using him as a human shield and just shoving him out in front of this truck. We ended up laughing so hard that I was having a difficult time running straight. Keep in mind that he was in no danger of being hit by this vehicle so after we got ourselves under control from the laughter we went the last couple of blocks home.

Now that I am more tired than I was when I got home from work tonight. It's time to relax and watch some good TV before going to bed and hopefully getting a good nights sleep.

Do you find it hard to run when your laughing really hard?

One Major Goal Accomplished (Vancouver Rock N Roll Half Marathon)

2014-10-29T09:47:00.004-07:00

One of my goals for this year was to do a half marathon before I turned 37. Well I can officially cross that goal off of my list as being done.

Not the best time but I got it done. Now that I know that I can physically do a half marathon my goal over the next year to do a half marathon faster. My daughter Katie did the half marathon with me and stayed with me the entire time which is really awesome because she is a much faster runner than me.

Katie already has me convinced to run the Scotiabank Half Marathon in June 2015. I told her for that run she can run at her speed as she is registering with a friend of hers from school. So I have 8 months to train and get ready for the half marathon. My goal will be to finish faster than I did this half marathon.

I must say though that I had an amazing time with my daughter. The bands along the route were good and everyone was super friendly. The only drawback that I really experienced was the Gatorade at some of the stations was not the best tasting. The course was great but there were plenty of small hills to tackle.

The first 15 km had me still feeling good but then it started to go downhill and not in the physical sense. I kept pushing though and even when I wanted to give up and stop Katie would tell me "it's farther to go back than it is to finish" so I kept going. By the end I ran just because it hurt less to run than it did to walk (I can't figure out the logic in that either).

I am just happy to say that I got it done and am even looking forward to doing the half marathon in June. I guess my inner crazy is starting to take over.

How was your first half marathon? Did you end up running more because it hurt less than to walk?

Tuesday Morning Almost Rain Run

2014-10-14T08:00:00.002-07:00

I woke up this morning unsure of how my run would go as yesterday I was stiff from my Sunday run. I was surprised that when I started out yes I was a bit stiff but not stiff enough that it was really bothering me.

It was nice and not much traffic was out yet so I didn't have to dodge or worry about vehicles to much. The clouds overhead were threatening rain but thankfully I beat the rain. The rain started about 3 minutes after I got home. Whew!!

So for the raining holding off until I was done running I am truly grateful.

Did you have something to be grateful for on your run today?

Sunday Morning 6 Miles

2014-10-12T12:24:00.001-07:00

Since I am doing the Rock 'N' Roll Half Marathon at the end of the month. I decided that today I would run for 6 miles and next weekend I would go for 12 miles. I did my run this morning doing 1:1's the entire time.

I felt pretty good the entire time and was enjoying the alone time. Physically I was feeling pretty good as well. Then the heart attack came, out of the blue I guess I need to pay a little more attention to where my feet are landing. I almost took an epic fall. I was absolutely sure that I was going to end up in a heap at the side of the road.

Luckily I caught my footing at the last second but holy crap it scared the shit out of me. With my adrenaline pumping furiously I was able to finish the last 2 miles of my run (carefully). I think it caused me to go a bit slower for those last 2 miles ( if you can picture a turtle going even slower haha).

It's now to relax for the rest of the day and then head over for Canadian Thanksgiving dinner at my parents. Can you say mmmmm turkey.

Have you ever almost fallen when running?