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    <title>The Life Design Studio</title>
    
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    <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1504268</id>
    <updated>2009-07-13T12:32:44+01:00</updated>
    <subtitle>Tips, support, articles about how NLP, hypnotherapy and life coaching can help adults and children in daily life.  </subtitle>
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        <title>Stress Unravelled!</title>
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        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e54efd15268833011571e59706970b</id>
        <published>2009-07-13T12:32:44+01:00</published>
        <updated>2009-07-13T12:27:40+01:00</updated>
        <summary>When you or your employees suffer from stress it isn’t just a matter of ‘pull yourself together’ or ‘snap out of it’. Stress is a real problem which can have dire consequences for your business. Research has shown that pressure...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Corporate" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="stress &amp; anxiety" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833011570f0bc94970c-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="Stress-ZebraStripes[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd15268833011570f0bc94970c " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833011570f0bc94970c-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; When you or your employees suffer from stress it isn’t just a matter of ‘pull yourself together’ or ‘snap out of it’. Stress is a real problem which can have dire consequences for your business.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Research has shown that pressure at work (or at home) is causing many employees to succumb to stress related diseases costing many businesses a small fortune.  Yet excessive anxiety and stress are both preventable and avoidable. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;To the sufferer it very often seems impossible to shake off anxiety or depression but it doesn’t have to be that way. The right professional help could sort out the problem in a matter of weeks, turning someone who has become a liability into your best asset. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Under the Disability Discrimination Act anxiety stress and depression may be sufficient to qualify a person as disabled and if you as employer have contributed to that stress it could cost you thousands.  In fact the  HSE calculated that the direct cost of workplace stress costs industry £530 million each and every year and in another study Norwich Union showed that indirect costs were double that – if they are right and if you have 10 employees that’s costing you about £30000 a year - that is a lot of profit margin down the drain.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;But a little bit of stress is good for you isn’t it?  A bit of adrenalin keeps you alert and with your wits about you doesn’t it?  It keeps you sharp and on your toes.  So is this legislation interfering in the way you conduct your business?  Another example of the nanny state gone mad? &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Well it is true that a little bit of anxiety/stress (call it what you will) does indeed increase awareness.  Being acutely aware of danger and poised ready to take evasive action is why our weak and puny species have survived all these millennia to rule the earth.  But it is also true that too much stress all at once or for too long a period will shut down your thinking, reasoning, logical brain completely.   Put in purely mercenary terms a stressed employee (or boss) is very very bad for the commercial health of any enterprise. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;The statutory HSE Stress Management/Wellbeing audit will help you reduce the causes of stress in the workplace but it doesn’t end there. People don’t leave the stress of their everyday lives on the hall stand at home and pick up workplace stress at the office or factory door.  Whatever is happening for them in their private life; family trauma, phobias, hatches, matches or dispatches, financial strains, rows and illness is carried with them wherever they go.  Beset by private pressures they may be unable think efficiently and coherently about their job – and that is why it is in your interests to help them.  You can wash your hands of that of course and say ‘that’s none of my business’ but when it affects your profitability or development would that be the best thing to do?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Will pills help?&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;When you take your anxiety or stress problem to the doctor – and you should take your problem to the doctor – in all probability he will prescribe some pills. He is the doctor and pills may help so you should take them.  However they are like putting a sticking plaster on a festering sore.  Pills don’t deal with the cause or provide a long term solution.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;So what will help?&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Most people suffering in this way know consciously what changes they want to achieve but feel there is nothing they can do about it. In our practice we see people who have been struggling with their demons and who after just a few sessions experience the joy of being free from anxiety for the first time for years. It is a very rewarding moment for us.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why couldn’t they do this for themselves?&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;It is because the problem lies deep in the subconscious mind and it needs expert help to resolve the conflict.  Our unconscious mind gets into the habit of reacting to certain circumstances in certain ways and no amount of conscious desire seems to shift the pattern but with the help of a qualified therapist, within a few sessions it becomes easy to do what until now has seemed difficult or impossible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;How Can You Help?&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Help Yourself:&lt;/strong&gt;  As a business owner or manager if you are feeling under a huge burden of stress and anxiety consult us now. You will learn a great deal about the debilitating effects of stress and anxiety, what may be done to alleviate it and the impact that may have on your own efficiency, creativity or effective management. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Help Your Employees: &lt;/strong&gt; It doesn’t matter if the stress is being created at work or at home YOU and your business are suffering the consequences in lost productivity, creativity and profitability. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;• Refer them to us for a free initial consultation&lt;br&gt;• Book an informative talk for your Directors, Management or Staff meeting&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Call me Anthony Bennett DHP. SFBH on 07877734075 or Skype me at tjbennett or e mail me at &lt;a href="mailto:tony@thelifedesignstudio.com"&gt;tony@thelifedesignstudio.com&lt;/a&gt;&lt;br&gt;Web &lt;a href="http://www.thelifedesignstudio.com"&gt;www.thelifedesignstudio.com&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
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    <entry>
        <title>DIY steps to improving your confidence</title>
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        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-66195037</id>
        <published>2009-04-30T11:03:37+01:00</published>
        <updated>2009-04-30T11:04:27+01:00</updated>
        <summary>I received a newsletter recently from Dave Crisp who is a fellow Life Coach. Here are his "7 steps to increase your Confidence" which you could practice at home. "Would you like to improve your confidence? Would you be interested...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Confidence" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd1526883301156f69ef1e970c-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="HNY05-13[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd1526883301156f69ef1e970c " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd1526883301156f69ef1e970c-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; I received a newsletter recently from Dave Crisp who is a fellow Life Coach.  Here are his &lt;strong&gt;"7 steps to increase your Confidence"&lt;/strong&gt; which you could practice at home.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;"&lt;/span&gt;&lt;span style="COLOR: #bf005f; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Would you like to improve your confidence?&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt; Would you be interested in a technique that can help get rid of the fear of speaking when you have to give a talk, or that boosts your confidence for sports or other high performance needs? Could there be a time in the future, that you would like to be more assured than you have been in the past? &#xD;
&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Here is a technique that teaches you how to plan for the future using all the best of your past or the past of someone you know. Research has shown that the subconscious cannot tell the difference between real practice and imagined practice; they both prepare you for an upcoming event for which you want to be at your best. This exercise will show you how to access your best state any time you need it. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;This methods of summoning up your confidence on demand is a mental technique called the ‘Circle of Excellence.’ Note that this doesn't create competence in a skill you desire, but it gives you the ability to summon up the confidence necessary for performing that skill.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Here are the steps for using the Circle of Excellence, which you need to practise ahead of time in order to be able to draw upon it at will:&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Step 1&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Imagine a circle on the floor. In your imagination, make it about 3 feet in diameter and 2 feet in front of you, something large enough to step into. Sometimes making it golden and sparkly can help, or you can use chalk to draw a circle on the floor if you need help with visualising when you are first training to master this mental technique.&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Step 2&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;. Step inside the circle and imagine a time you were wonderful at something, not necessarily what you want to be confident doing. Imagine that everything went smoothly, you were bright, funny, happy, confident, full of energy and a great success at your task. You were balanced, creative, powerful or as many other positive states of your choice that you can conjure. You want all your positive memories to flood your body with the good feelings of your confident performance.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;If you don't have these particular resources from your own personal history, it works to pretend you have them and in your mind, you can use visualisation too, for example step-into-the-shoes-of or role play, a movie hero, a living legend, or anyone you admire to get into that state you want.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Your brain doesn’t know the difference between a REAL history and an IMAGINED history or the history of others in creating a state, so all you have to do is emotionally capture that feeling of excellence using whatever role models or scenario playing that works for you. &lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Step 3&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;. Develop a full visual and auditory representation of the state. This means use your imagination to see and hear the kinds of things you were seeing and hearing. Use all your senses to develop the kinaesthetic sense and so strengthen the FEELING of what it's like to be in that state. Notice yourself in the circle being wonderful... Visualise it fully. Hear what is going on around you and hear yourself responding appropriately. Feel yourself gushing with pride. Feel your greatness and calmness.&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Step 4&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. When you have added enough detail and resources, step out of the circle. Visualise a representation of yourself still in the circle and notice the posture, demeanour and breathing involved with the state you have created. Shake off the state to return to your normal state and prepare to test it out.&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Step 5&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;.  Imagine your circle again and step back into it.  At the same time you step automatically into the powerful state you've created. Move into that circle of excellence, stepping into the picture of yourself. Imagine it's as if you step into that person, that set of states, the whole of that experience.&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Step 6&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. The imaginary circle can act as the Anchor. However, you may want an alternative trigger for this as a resource state so that you can bring it up at any time you require it. In other words, figure out how to draw upon this state at will by practising it and then associating some mental or physical link or cue with it to bring it back when needed. That might be tapping your fingers, holding your arms in a certain way or whatever physical link you can easily and accurately repeat. &lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 16px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Step 7&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/strong&gt;. Repeat 1 - 6 with more experiences to enhance the power of the Circle of Excellence.&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;If you come under stress in the future, you can then trigger the physical link and the feelings of that experience or experiences will return as you are back in your Circle of Excellence.&lt;br&gt; &lt;br&gt;NOTE: This technique does not create competence. It assumes ability is in place. When ability is not enough and a dose of confidence is required, this exercise works a small miracle. Please be aware of the important difference between confidence and competence!&lt;br&gt;  &lt;br&gt;It’s much easier to have the aid of someone else to help you access states and anchor them appropriately. A coach can aid your goal of becoming more confident in many ways.&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 20px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;"&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;To find out more e-mail &lt;a href="mailto:DaveCrisp@ccandc.co.uk"&gt;DaveCrisp@ccandc.co.uk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Have fun with this exercise.  The more you can make your personal growth &lt;em&gt;fun,&lt;/em&gt; the easier it will be&lt;em&gt;.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Best wishes&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Bee&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
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    <entry>
        <title>Why Is It So Difficult To Change Our Lives?</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/wpNL2Gd2MCE/why-is-it-so-difficult-to-change-our-lives.html" />
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        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-63367073</id>
        <published>2009-02-26T10:16:25+00:00</published>
        <updated>2009-02-26T10:16:25+00:00</updated>
        <summary>We run our life on patterns, habits if you like, and mostly that's a very good thing. It is a process which has kept us in existence as a species for thousands of years. But why is it so difficult...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Information" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd152688330112790e4edf28a4-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="I-want-change[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd152688330112790e4edf28a4 " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd152688330112790e4edf28a4-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;  &lt;strong&gt;We run our life on patterns&lt;/strong&gt;, habits if you like, and mostly that's a very good thing.  It is a process which has kept us in existence as a species for thousands of years.  But why is it so difficult to change our lives when we want to?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Our conscious brain, the part of our brain which works things out with logic and reason, is very good at mixing and matching the signals we pick up through our senses and in sometimes coming to a conclusion that change would be beneficial.  This process is clever but comparatively slow and 'expensive' to run in energy terms.  &#xD;
&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;You will know that a sustained period of mental effort soon makes you 'tired'.  If we had to work out everything consciously on a daily or moment by moment basis we would grind to a stop very quickly indeed. That is the reason that, as soon as soon we are able, we commit behaviour and thought patterns to our subconscious so that we don't have to engage in this slow, inefficient, energy consuming process - thinking. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;You can clearly see this at work when you learn something complex like how to drive a car.  To begin with it is very difficult indeed but as we become used to it by repetition gradually we need to 'think' less. Eventually we can drive a car 'on automatic pilot', hardly giving it a thought at all. It becomes easy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Throughout our lives, from conception onwards, we 'learn' in this way, developing patterns not only for driving but for every aspect of our lives, large and small. The part of our brain where this process takes place has one overriding purpose and that is to keep us alive. Once a thought or behaviour is 'banked' in our subconscious this is 'the manual' we run our lives by and a departure from an established pattern is firmly resisted, change might be dangerous. Our subconscious becomes our personal 'jobsworth' security officer' with the power to prevent us engaging in a thought or action which it understands may be harmful to us.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;This would be fine if these behaviours were always the ones we currently want but unfortunately we absorb some very odd ideas along the way and these start being laid down from the moment of conception to about five years old.  To begin life we have no logic or reason of our own because that part of our brain simply hasn't developed yet. We just cannot evaluate things for ourselves for the first few years but we do form patterns of thought and behaviour.  Then, later, we get all sorts of input, from our parents, or siblings, our friends, carers, the media, or our teachers, much of it prejudiced, misguided or just plain wrong. These influences become our values and beliefs. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;So that is why we find it difficult to change; our intended actions conflict with our reactive programming.  They are at odds with our values and beliefs which are laid down, often in error, to protect us.  When there is a conflict between our 'conscious' brain and our 'subconscious' the subconscious always wins because it believes - sometimes wrongly - that it is acting to keep us safe and is programmed to be able to insist on that safety&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;So can we change? yes!  but not easily, we usually need help. The nature and extent of that help can depend on our ability to ‘rewrite the manual' and that can depend on not only understanding how that might achieved (Training and Personal Development perhaps) but how stressed we are at the time. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Stress takes away our ability to use our logic and reason. At times when it is really important to make a change some professional help from therapists (Life Coaches, NLP Practitioners and Hypnotherapists) can be the 'short cut' which enables change to be achieved quickly and easily. So if you need to make a rapid change but are currently stressed, drop me an e-mail and arrange for a free initial consultation in my consulting room or by telephone : &lt;a href="mailto:tony@thelifedesignstudio.co.uk"&gt;tony@thelifedesignstudio.co.uk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Have fun changing!&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Tony&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;_________________________________________________________________________________&lt;br&gt;A number of tips and hints can be found in other articles on this blog and at &lt;a href="http://www.50pluslifedesign.com"&gt;www.50pluslifedesign.com&lt;/a&gt; &lt;br&gt;Are you a smoker who wants to quit quickly and easily? There is a very special offer currently on &lt;a href="http://www.stopsmokingconsultants.com"&gt;www.stopsmokingconsultants.com&lt;/a&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=wpNL2Gd2MCE:RsJuwcknPJM:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=wpNL2Gd2MCE:RsJuwcknPJM:F7zBnMyn0Lo"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=wpNL2Gd2MCE:RsJuwcknPJM:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=wpNL2Gd2MCE:RsJuwcknPJM:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=wpNL2Gd2MCE:RsJuwcknPJM:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=wpNL2Gd2MCE:RsJuwcknPJM:gIN9vFwOqvQ"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=wpNL2Gd2MCE:RsJuwcknPJM:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~4/wpNL2Gd2MCE" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content>


    <feedburner:origLink>http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2009/02/why-is-it-so-difficult-to-change-our-lives.html</feedburner:origLink></entry>
    <entry>
        <title>New Year’s Resolutions : Reflective Thoughts</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/ruIjlS5i5rY/new-years-resolutions-reflective-thoughts.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2009/01/new-years-resolutions-reflective-thoughts.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-60855998</id>
        <published>2009-01-04T23:47:44+00:00</published>
        <updated>2009-01-04T23:47:44+00:00</updated>
        <summary>It’s gone midnight on January 4th. I’ve just finished ploughing through the last few days’ received e-mails to ensure I’ve answered everyone’s good wishes or enquiries and whilst lounging here with my lap top I’ve had a flash of inspiration...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Inspiration" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010536a90d16970b-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="Reflection[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd15268833010536a90d16970b " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010536a90d16970b-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; It’s gone midnight on January 4th.  I’ve just finished ploughing through the last few days’ received e-mails to ensure I’ve answered everyone’s good wishes or enquiries and whilst lounging here with my lap top I’ve had a flash of inspiration about the one New Year Resolution I shall make and keep every year without fail.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;At this time of change and fresh starts and clean slates it’s really important to recognise what’s been sabotaging my efforts to make changes in my life up to now.  So my resolution is to reflect on the year gone by and look for patterns of behaviour that are automatic but which do not serve me.  I shall no doubt discover limiting beliefs ... they must be there or life would be hunky dory in every respect and it’s not.  There are improvements to be made and some of them have been waiting an awfully long time.  Why?  Because I’ve been holding myself back with excuses, fears and procrastination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;So, &lt;em&gt;I, Bee Milbourn, resolve to reflect each year-end on the patterns of thought and action that have prevented me from being all I can be and I resolve to do whatever it takes to change those patterns for the better.&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;What about you?  What do you see when you look back over your year?  Are you doing the same old thing over and over again but expecting a different result?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;I hope not ... but do think about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Best wishes&lt;br&gt;Bee&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=ruIjlS5i5rY:3xiB-WPT3Uw:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=ruIjlS5i5rY:3xiB-WPT3Uw:F7zBnMyn0Lo"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=ruIjlS5i5rY:3xiB-WPT3Uw:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=ruIjlS5i5rY:3xiB-WPT3Uw:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=ruIjlS5i5rY:3xiB-WPT3Uw:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=ruIjlS5i5rY:3xiB-WPT3Uw:gIN9vFwOqvQ"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=ruIjlS5i5rY:3xiB-WPT3Uw:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
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    <feedburner:origLink>http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2009/01/new-years-resolutions-reflective-thoughts.html</feedburner:origLink></entry>
    <entry>
        <title>New Year’s Resolutions 2009 : Increasing your chance of Success</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/n4auZhgLM6k/new-years-resolutions-2009-increasing-your-chance-of-success.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/12/new-years-resolutions-2009-increasing-your-chance-of-success.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-60549678</id>
        <published>2008-12-29T12:04:17+00:00</published>
        <updated>2008-12-29T12:04:17+00:00</updated>
        <summary>Yet another year on the turn, yet another set of New Year Resolutions to be broken. Am I being pessimistic? Well, that’s not my style at all but I do know that there is sound evidence that most people don’t...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Inspiration" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Practical Exercises" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010536a27bdf970c-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="1501_fighting-bears[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd15268833010536a27bdf970c " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010536a27bdf970c-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; Yet another year on the turn, yet another set of New Year Resolutions to be broken.  Am I being pessimistic?  Well, that’s not my style at all but I do know that there is sound evidence that most people don’t carry out their pledges – well at least not for more than a few days.  So why is this?  How can I help you to be on the right side of the statistics heap?  After all, it’s not as if I’ve always kept my promises to myself ... but I have learned a lot in the process of breaking them about why that happens and I want to share it with you.  Let's do battle with our enemies and emerge victorious!&#xD;
&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Why did you wait until New Year?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Firstly, let’s look at the concept of a New Year Resolution.  Why did you wait until the New Year?  Why did you not make a decision previously and just do it?  What held you back before?  Really think about these questions because they will start to give you some insight into your level of commitment.  Did you put it off because you were too busy : are you any less busy now?  Did you put it off because you weren’t motivated enough : are you more motivated now?  Examine the reasons you gave yourself to wait until the New Year and you’ll have a little insight into whether you have a fair chance of success.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;I do think that the New Year has a special quality to it.  It signifies change and growth.  The turning of the year seems to give us permission to put the past behind us and start afresh.  I believe in making use of whatever help is available and allowing the shedding of an old year to help you open yourself up to new possibilities is a powerful motivator, so don’t allow previous lack of motivation to get in your way.  Reach out to the new; imagine vividly what your life will be like when you’ve made that change you long for.  If you find it difficult to imagine though, this could be what has blocked you from making that resolution work for you in the past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Mental conflict&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Our minds are always full of conflict.  The ONLY reason we don’t achieve what we want in life is because there is some other thought blocking and arguing with the first one.  If the only thought in our head is to start interviewing for new jobs we would just go do it.  The reason we don’t is because of those other thoughts that say “It’s the wrong time of year” “No one has any jobs available right now” “No one would want me – I’m not qualified enough, old enough, young enough ...” “I won’t get any better money than I get here” ...  and many more.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Suppose you decide to &lt;a href="http://www.stopsmokingconsultants.co.uk/"&gt;quit smoking&lt;/a&gt;.  You may have decided to quit many times before but those old gremlins get in the way “It never worked before” “I know I’ll just go back again in a few days” “I won’t be able to cope with the cravings” “How will I cope with the stress?”.  These are the conflicts of the mind.  When we truly decide to do something and have dealt with our gremlins we just do it – no argument – no fuss.  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Dealing with the gremlins&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Know thine enemy!  You need to work out exactly who or what those gremlins are.  Make it fun!  Notice the battle going on inside your head and write down the language of each side.  Take a piece of paper and put a line down the middle.  Write down all the benefits of your chosen action on one side - this is your &lt;em&gt;hero&lt;/em&gt; talking, who only wants the best for you  -  and all the arguments your mind is chucking at you on the other side – your &lt;em&gt;gremlin-speak&lt;/em&gt;.  Keep working at the list of negatives because &lt;strong&gt;you can’t fight a battle against an invisible enemy.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;OK.  So now you know what you’re up against!  Now you know why your previous efforts didn’t work.  What now?  Our subconscious mind is very powerful and the negative thoughts it provides are just for your protection.  It is just trying to protect you from possible hurt or fear or anxiety or embarrassment ... even from success.  This particular conflict will only be won when you help your subconscious to realise  that it’s fears for you are ungrounded.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Doing battle&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Let battle commence.  Take each one of the negatives your subconscious has shown you.  Just one at a time - and question the validity of it.  Suppose your goal is to learn to swim.  You set yourself this goal before and never got around to it but you really want to swim because your hero says 1.  It will be good for you physically 2. It will sharpen your mind – which you know physical activity does 3. You can join your (&lt;em&gt;girlfriend / husband fill in the blank&lt;/em&gt;) when they go to the pool 4. You’ll be able to go into the sea when you go on holiday without fear 5. It will help you to lose weight 6. It will help you tone up your body ...   and so on ... to the end of the ‘positives’ list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;What has prevented you in the past?  What gremlins have been at work?  Maybe: 1. You feel embarrassed in a swimsuit 2. You don’t want to look like an idiot when you’re learning 3. You’re scared of the water 4. You hate water on your face 5. All that dressing / undressing / showering is a pain 6. Your hair will be ruined by the chlorine ... and so on to the end of your ‘negatives’ list.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Take each in turn:  1.  “You feel embarrassed in a swimsuit”.  Ask yourself what it is that bothers you?  Maybe you are thin or fat or have cellulite but that just puts you amongst the average swimmer doesn’t it?  Is this thought justified?  Does everyone go to the pool to look at others or are they there to concentrate on themselves?  Get real.  If you have genuine body image problems you might need a little hypnotherapy to overcome it so find a good local practitioner.  The same applies to 3 - Scared of the Water.  A good clinical NLP hypnotherapist is trained in techniques which will help you overcome most phobias and fears in just 3 sessions.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Go through your list asking if each negative thought is justified.  Is it true for everyone.  Does it really matter?  Is swimming and the benefits on your ‘plus side’ more important than a little embarrassment.  Do you need extra help from a doctor, therapist or good friend?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Will you be a better person for overcoming your fears ... absolutely.  I’m sure you’ve had to overcome a fear before and I want you to remember that fantastic feeling when you succeeded.  Bring that feeling into the present and imagine you have already succeeded at your current goal.  Make it real and compelling.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Well, I think I’ve given you a start and it’s time this blog was put to bed.  If you want help with slimming or quitting smoking there are other blogs on this site – just look at the ‘categories’ in the left hand column.  There’s also more help with overcoming your negative self-talk.  Have a browse around.  I welcome e-mails from you with any questions you may have – write to me at &lt;a href="mailto:bee@thelifedesignstudio.com"&gt;bee@thelifedesignstudio.com&lt;/a&gt; and I’ll get back to you as quickly as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Happy New Year&lt;br&gt;Bee&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
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&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~4/n4auZhgLM6k" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content>


    <feedburner:origLink>http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/12/new-years-resolutions-2009-increasing-your-chance-of-success.html</feedburner:origLink></entry>
    <entry>
        <title>Five Easy Pieces to piecing together your purpose in life </title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/2zEJYmtWAEo/five-easy-pieces-to-piecing-together-your-purpose-in-life-.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/12/five-easy-pieces-to-piecing-together-your-purpose-in-life-.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-60037070</id>
        <published>2008-12-15T16:02:28+00:00</published>
        <updated>2008-12-15T16:02:28+00:00</updated>
        <summary>I found this piece on someone else’s blog and I liked it so much I’m going to re-post it here. Unfortunately, I don’t know the original author. 5 easy pieces to piecing together your purpose in life "In the film...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Practical Exercises" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd152688330105365ef10b970b-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="51sFhPcMr9L[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd152688330105365ef10b970b " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd152688330105365ef10b970b-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; I found this piece on someone else’s blog and I liked it so much I’m going to re-post it here.  Unfortunately, I don’t know the original author.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5 easy pieces to piecing together your purpose in life&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 15px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;"&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 13px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;In&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/span&gt; the film Five Easy Pieces starring Jack Nicholson, the main character played by him, works in an oil field for many years after failing to achieve the dream of being a pianist; a dream which his parents created for him. Throughout the film, Jack's character Robert Dupea doesn't really know what he's supposed to do with his life. He keeps running from his fears, his family, and from his past.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Figuring out what you were put on this Earth to do can sometimes be like putting together a jigsaw puzzle when the pieces are spread around the world. Some people don't complete their puzzle because they often don't have the patience, desire, or they're just fearful. However, the five pieces needed to complete the puzzle of your life purpose are actually quite easy to find.&#xD;
&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Here are the five easy pieces to piecing together your purpose in life.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;1. Recognizing your talents and passions&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;This is probably the easiest and most common way for people to discover their purpose in life. So we'll start off with it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Following you talents and passions will lead to fulfillment, happiness, and even money to pay the bills (or even a lot more). Natural born or acquired talents, it doesn't matter; you were given them by someone or something for a reason.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;To discover more about your passions and talents, think of:&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What makes you cry with joy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What makes you and others smile.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What people sincerely say you're good at.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What makes you and others laugh.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What keeps you up all night because you're so fired up about it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;2. Look to your past&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;It's difficult sometimes to reflect on our pasts. There are plenty of events I would like to erase from my memory, but I think it's foolish to do so. Instead, we should use it to move us forward and to make sense of where we are now.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Looking to our pasts to get a sense of our purpose has its own puzzle pieces:&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What circumstances were we born into?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Perhaps you were born into poverty. Then your purpose may be to rise above impoverished surroundings and to lead others by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What major mistakes and vices did you parents battle?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Were they abusive, addicted to drugs/alcohol, or did they engage in something else destructive? Well your purpose is not to continue the cycle. You have to break free and again, lead by example.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- What have you failed at?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Failure should never be permanent. It's only there to separate those who want something more than those who don't. If a failure of something affected you so much that you couldn't stop thinking about it, then your purpose is to get back in the game, approach it differently and succeed.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;- Who affected you the most in a positive way?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Was it a teacher, author, actor, director, a president, or a local hero? If they changed your life, then perhaps you should carry on their mission as well.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;3. There are 4 purposes that unite us all:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;1. Be as happy as possible.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;2. Live life the way you desire.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;3. Change the lives of others. (It often doesn't take as much as you think)&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;4. Leave the world a little better than when we were born into it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;And yes to all the negative Nancys and Neds: not everyone will fulfill these purposes, but everyone can.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;4. Be open to multiple purposes&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Many of us have multiple purposes, but often we have one main mission in life, and then other smaller reasons for existing. Perhaps someone is supposed to be a great parent, but also change the world in another way.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Other times, two different purposes can form into a larger one. I've been told that I was pretty good at writing and I should think about turning it into a career, but I always brushed it off. One thing I always wanted to do was change the world. So I decided one day to just combine the two and change the world through my talent of writing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Our purposes can also vary depending on our age. Commonly it's materialistic in nature when we're younger, but not so much when we get older.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;This leads me to the fifth piece of the puzzle…&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;5. Find out what your purpose in the now is&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;What you're on this Earth to do today is more important than what your purpose later in life is. Today is guaranteed, tomorrow isn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;If you think your purpose it to share your art with the world, then start today! If you feel you're supposed to be a social entrepreneur, then get going now! You may find something that'll give your life meaning until the end.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;We wait for the perfect moment, but it doesn't exist. Concentrate on your purpose for today, tomorrow, next month, and for the next few years at the most. Life is now, not tomorrow.&lt;strong&gt;”&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p style="text-align: center"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;-----&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;So, what are you waiting for?  Take a notebook and pen and write your answers to the questions posed above.  Challenge yourself.  Take a fresh look at your life and the things you enjoy.  Open up your future to possibility and excitement and fulfillment.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;If you would like any help with this exercise or if you would like to be coached towards your ideal life, please don't hesitate to call or e-mail me on 0845 644 3974 or &lt;a href="mailto:bee@thelifedesignstudio.co.uk"&gt;bee@thelifedesignstudio.co.uk&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Best wishes&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Bee&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=2zEJYmtWAEo:QE4ZSckG67g:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=2zEJYmtWAEo:QE4ZSckG67g:F7zBnMyn0Lo"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=2zEJYmtWAEo:QE4ZSckG67g:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=2zEJYmtWAEo:QE4ZSckG67g:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=2zEJYmtWAEo:QE4ZSckG67g:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=2zEJYmtWAEo:QE4ZSckG67g:gIN9vFwOqvQ"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=2zEJYmtWAEo:QE4ZSckG67g:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
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    <feedburner:origLink>http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/12/five-easy-pieces-to-piecing-together-your-purpose-in-life-.html</feedburner:origLink></entry>
    <entry>
        <title>Driving Ambition | Driving Test Nerves</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/tDGkXp_mcHI/driving-ambition-driving-test-nerves.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/11/driving-ambition-driving-test-nerves.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-58981360</id>
        <published>2008-11-24T17:25:00+00:00</published>
        <updated>2008-11-24T17:25:00+00:00</updated>
        <summary>It is one of the real pleasures of my role as a therapist to become aware of making a real difference in someone’s life especially when that person has been struggling with an issue for many years. Driving Test Nerves...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Case Studies" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Confidence" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010536156e95970b-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="Torn_lplate_sky[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd15268833010536156e95970b " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010536156e95970b-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; It is one of the real pleasures of my role as a therapist to become aware of making a real difference in someone’s life especially when that person has been struggling with an issue for many years. Driving Test Nerves can cause people to fail their test time and time again with often damaging effects on their self esteem.&#xD;
&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Mary is 52, she has been coming to see me with acute anxiety for a few weeks now and making great  progress. It has been very rewarding in this short time to see her whole physiology changing, she has been walking with confidence and smiling much more.  Last week however her demeanour revealed that, once again, she felt anxious and no wonder; for the umpteenth time she had a driving test scheduled and on on her birthday too in three days time!&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;She had been told by her driving instructor that she is a great driver, in fact she has to be extra careful because she’s been learning for so long that she has slipped into some of the bad habits of drivers like me who have been driving 45 years or more.  The problem is that one simple mistake in the test and she would go to pieces. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Now that is something we can help with, usually with just three sessions of hypnotherapy but we didn’t have the luxury of time. One session would have to do it.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;I saw Mary for a one hour session two days before the test and dedicated myself to the task.  I gave her several NLP (Neuro Linguistic Patterning) techniques to deal with her nervous reactions and a nice visualisation of a super successful test in hypnosis including the suggestion that she should telephone me when she had passed to give me the good news.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;On Saturday my business phone gave its jolly ring tone and when I heard the great news that she had passed this time I whooped with joy.  This was not just a test to Mary; it is freedom, it is confidence, it is success in an area of life which up until now she had found challenging.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Such moments are thankfully not rare, we do make a difference.  That is why we do this job.  But when these moments come its isn’t only the client who reaps the reward - it makes the therapist’s day too.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;I think what makes us sad though is that so many people struggle on with problems that they needn’t.put up with.  So many issues based on anxiety like fears and phobias can be quickly and easily be sorted and life can once again be a joy.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;If you have any issue which we could assist you with call Tony or Bee on &lt;strong&gt;0845 644 3974&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Warmest regards&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Tony&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=tDGkXp_mcHI:fcTFVyJCT38:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=tDGkXp_mcHI:fcTFVyJCT38:F7zBnMyn0Lo"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=tDGkXp_mcHI:fcTFVyJCT38:F7zBnMyn0Lo" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=tDGkXp_mcHI:fcTFVyJCT38:V_sGLiPBpWU"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=tDGkXp_mcHI:fcTFVyJCT38:V_sGLiPBpWU" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?a=tDGkXp_mcHI:fcTFVyJCT38:gIN9vFwOqvQ"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/TheLifeDesignStudio?i=tDGkXp_mcHI:fcTFVyJCT38:gIN9vFwOqvQ" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
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    <feedburner:origLink>http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/11/driving-ambition-driving-test-nerves.html</feedburner:origLink></entry>
    <entry>
        <title>Hypnosis used to be the last resort ...</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/tX2bNYNqFrA/hypnosis-used-to-be-the-last-resort.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/11/hypnosis-used-to-be-the-last-resort.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-58504456</id>
        <published>2008-11-14T14:21:03+00:00</published>
        <updated>2008-11-14T14:21:03+00:00</updated>
        <summary>... but now it is your first-step on the road to effortless, automatic and permanent personal transformation! Hypnosis allows you to: • Take control of the subconscious which is creating your reality • Re-write it quickly and easily • Achieve...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Information" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010535eeaf8d970b-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="Hypnosis[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd15268833010535eeaf8d970b " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010535eeaf8d970b-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; ... but now it is your first-step on the road to effortless, automatic and permanent personal transformation!&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Hypnosis allows you to:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;• Take control of the subconscious which is creating your reality&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;• Re-write it quickly and easily&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;• Achieve the health, wealth and happiness which has eluded you up until now&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;People who experience the benefits of hypnosis quite often describe the process as "magical" and, in a way, it is.  How else can you explain something that can transform the negative behaviours of a lifetime in a matter of days, hours or minutes?  &lt;em&gt;(Read on by clicking 'contnue' below)&#xD;
&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;But where there is magic, there's often mystery too. That's why I've found many people who are attracted and made hopeful by the promises of hypnosis hesitate to embrace it because they aren't sure they want something mysterious to happen inside their minds.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;In fact, what happens during hypnosis is no more mysterious than what happens to your body when you run on a treadmill for 10 minutes.  It is a fairly straightforward neuro-physiological process whose effects can be scientifically observed, measured and understood.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;The idea that hypnosis works by opening up the subconscious mind and suppressing the conscious mind has been borne out by research that utilises EEGs to measure brain activity.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;You've heard of people being called "right-brained" and "left-brained".  These 'handles' accurately reflect the fact that the left hemisphere of the cerebral cortex controls things like reason, logic and deduction, while the right hemisphere is the seat of creativity and imagination.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;EEG-based evidence suggests that while a person is in the hyperattentive hypnotic state, activity in the left hemisphere of the cerebral cortex is reduced, and activity in the right hemisphere is increased.  In other words, the conscious mind, though not shut down, recedes into the background, and the subconscious comes to the fore, open and accessible in a way it normally is not.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;When the subconscious mind is open and dominant, suggestions are accepted by the brain as reality.  If you were told, for example, that you had just bitten down on a lemon, you would pucker up, salivate, maybe even spit and sputter, just exactly as you would if there were a real lemon in your mouth.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Your conscious mind would recognise the distinction between a real lemon and an imaginary one.  But your subconscious doesn't.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Essentially, hypnosis takes this kind of simple suggestion to a more complex level: rewriting the old programming that governs whole swathes of your thinking and behaviour in such a way that when you re-enter the ordinary conscious state, the new programming is still active.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;The readiness with which the subconscious accepts suggestion as reality explains why challenges that people have spent years working to overcome in a conscious forum with a variety of professional modalities can so often be conquered through just a few hypnotic sessions.  It may take longer for your brain to accept a new reality regarding something as pervasive as your financial habits than it does in accepting that you have just tasted a lemon, but it doesn't take much longer.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;The true magic of hypnosis lies in the fact that you don't have to understand - or even completely believe - the scientific neurological and physiological processes at work to experience its amazing effectiveness.  You just have to be willing to give it a chance, and really, deep down, want what you ask for.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Millions of people have proven what scientists, researchers and innovative thinkers have been saying for hundreds, perhaps even thousands of years:&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p style="TEXT-ALIGN: left"&gt;That human beings have the power within their own mind to change their lives at the most fundamental level through the incredibly simple process of hypnosis.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p style="TEXT-ALIGN: right"&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;Courtesy of Nightingale Conant&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;So are you ready to make that change?  If you are, don’t delay, e-mail Tony at &lt;a href="mailto:tony@TheLifeDesignStudio.com"&gt;tony@TheLifeDesignStudio.com&lt;/a&gt; Tel: 0796 770 2871 or Bee: &lt;a href="mailto:bee@TheLifeDesignStudio.com"&gt;bee@TheLifeDesignStudio.com&lt;/a&gt; Tel: 0845 644 3974&lt;br&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
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&lt;/div&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~4/tX2bNYNqFrA" height="1" width="1"/&gt;</content>


    <feedburner:origLink>http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/11/hypnosis-used-to-be-the-last-resort.html</feedburner:origLink></entry>
    <entry>
        <title>Is Laughter the Best Medicine? | The Natural Way to cure the Blues</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/BGVTQLpuPCI/is-laughter-the-best-medicine-the-natural-way-to-cure-the-blues.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/10/is-laughter-the-best-medicine-the-natural-way-to-cure-the-blues.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-57487921</id>
        <published>2008-10-24T10:00:27+01:00</published>
        <updated>2008-10-24T10:00:27+01:00</updated>
        <summary>When was the last time you had a really good laugh? Do you laugh every day? Once a week ... a month? There's lots of evidence to prove how good laughter is for our health and wellbeing. Where do you...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Books" />
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Health" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010535b3206f970b-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="Laughter-funny-cat-laugh[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd15268833010535b3206f970b " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd15268833010535b3206f970b-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt; &lt;strong&gt;When was the last time you had a really good laugh?&lt;/strong&gt;  Do you laugh every day?  Once a week ... a month?  There's lots of evidence to prove how good laughter is for our health and wellbeing.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Where do you Start?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Where do you start if you're out of practice with laughter?  Where can you find inspiration?  Has life become too serious?  It’s easy to get into a pit of worry with all the doom and gloom news on the TV lately, so think what would tickle you.  Learning to laugh again takes practice.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;br&gt;&#xD;
&lt;ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;How about learning to dance?  My own experience of various styles has always been very funny!  Not just ballroom but jive or belly-dancing or line-dancing or tap. &#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Go to a comedy club (if you’re prepared for bad language.)  &#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Watch more funny movies and DVDs &#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Read funny books (There are some titles to start you off at the end of this article).  &#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Spend plenty of time with friends swapping photos of yourself when you were in your teens or twenties or at that fancy dress party … you know the ones that make you laugh. &#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Talk often about happy times you've had and focus less on the negatives in life.  &#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Find a "Laughter Clinic" near you for a really hilarious experience that will teach you how to laugh like a child again. &#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Mix with children, watch how much they laugh and join in.  &lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&lt;/ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;Here are some excerpts from a report by BUPA that you might like to read (full article here)&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;blockquote dir="ltr" style="MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;"Laughter really may be the best medicine, according to research presented to the American College of Cardiology. Laughing appears to boost your blood flow and researchers say it may reduce your risk of developing heart disease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;But the benefits of laughing don't stop with your heart: laughing has previously been found to help fight infections, relieve hay fever, ease pain and help control diabetes.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What did this study find?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;The researchers found that laughing increased blood flow by more than 20 percent - a similar effect to that of aerobic activity.  The positive effect of laughing lasted for 30-45 minutes.  In contrast, stress decreased the flow by about 35 percent.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Almost everyone seems to benefit from having a good laugh:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;95 percent of the volunteers in the study had better blood flow after watching a comedy movie clip &lt;br&gt;70 percent had a worse blood flow after watching a stressful film sequence &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What do these findings mean for me?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;According to the researchers, regular laughter in your life could help to reduce your risk of developing heart disease. They recommend 15 minutes of laughter a day as well as regular exercise to reduce your risk of cardiovascular disease.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;What are the other benefits of having a good laugh?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Various studies have suggested that a positive outlook on life and having a good laugh is associated with much more than just keeping your heart healthy. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Laughing is thought to help you to fight off illnesses by boosting your immune system. It increases the amount of immunoglobulins, natural killer cells and T cells in the body, which fight infection and tumours.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Laughing reduces pain.&lt;/strong&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Children watching comedy films relax more and tolerate pain more easily. In fact, humorous videos are being used in anaesthetic rooms at Manchester Children's Hospital. And an American nurse has found that telling jokes to her patients before she administers a painful treatment reduces their discomfort.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;•   Laughing reduces allergic responses, including hay fever symptoms. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;•   Laughing lifts your mood - &lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;even if you have to force yourself to laugh&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt;. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;•   Laughing reduces the effect of stress by lowering stress hormone levels. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;•   Laughing helps keeps diabetes under control. It may help to control spikes in blood sugar levels after a meal, reducing the chances of diabetic complications. In one study, people who   watched a funny video during dinner had lower blood sugar levels after the meal compared to the people who watched a lecture video. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Make time to laugh&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;The researchers suggest that we should try to laugh more. In the same way that we try to eat five portions of fruit and vegetables a day and climb the stairs instead of taking the lift, perhaps we need to make time to have a good laugh. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Dr. Miller says. "The recommendation for a healthy heart may one day be - exercise, eat right and laugh a few times a day."&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/blockquote&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;Well, I promised you a book list and there's an audio title thrown in for good measure ...&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1846053447/thelatlifdess-21"&gt;Dear Fatty&lt;/a&gt; by Dawn French&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;&lt;em&gt;"Moving, Warm and Funny, a tremendous read" :&lt;/em&gt; &lt;em&gt;Amazon review&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/009950555X/thelatlifdess-21"&gt;The Sound of Laughter&lt;/a&gt; by Peter Kay&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0671899821/thelatlifdess-21"&gt;A Bad Case of the Giggles&lt;/a&gt; : Kid's Favourite Funny Poems by Stephen Carpenter and Bruce Lansky&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/029785206X/thelatlifdess-21"&gt;That's Another Story&lt;/a&gt; : Julie Walters&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;"Totally Absorbing: Wonderful!" Amazon review&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/0099255812/thelatlifdess-21"&gt;Crying with Laughter&lt;/a&gt; : My Life Story by Bob Monkhouse&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;"What an appropriate title ! If worshiping Bobby Monkhouse was a religion than this text would be the bible. Either this or his joke book was stolen. Either way, Bob Monkhouse is the daddy of comedy..." Amazon reviewer&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1591790212/thelatlifdess-21"&gt;A Beginner's Guide to Humour and Healing&lt;/a&gt; (Audio CD) by Bernie S Siegel&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 12px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;"This CD offers a philosophy of living; a way of thinking, it reminds us of something so easily forgotten; that life is cause for celebration" Amazon reviewer&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p dir="ltr"&gt;Enjoy&lt;br&gt;Bee&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
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    <feedburner:origLink>http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/10/is-laughter-the-best-medicine-the-natural-way-to-cure-the-blues.html</feedburner:origLink></entry>
    <entry>
        <title>The Excuses We Make!</title>
        <link rel="alternate" type="text/html" href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/TheLifeDesignStudio/~3/_7U0SiYOsYM/the-excuses-we-make.html" />
        <link rel="replies" type="text/html" href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/2008/10/the-excuses-we-make.html" thr:count="0" />
        <id>tag:typepad.com,2003:post-57163211</id>
        <published>2008-10-18T04:56:35+01:00</published>
        <updated>2008-10-18T04:56:35+01:00</updated>
        <summary>Have you ever heard yourself saying anything like this? – I have! “They asked me to write a blog but I don’t think I can, I haven’t got the time to prepare for it you see … I’m far too...</summary>
        <author>
            <name>Bee Milbourn</name>
        </author>
        <category scheme="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#category" term="Practical Exercises" />
        
        
<content type="html" xml:lang="en-GB" xml:base="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/the_life_design_studio/">&lt;div xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"&gt;&lt;p&gt;&lt;a href="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd1526883301053595e632970c-pi" style="FLOAT: left"&gt;&lt;img alt="T-Shirt-Not%20Now,%20I'm%20Busy-709658[1]" class="at-xid-6a00e54efd1526883301053595e632970c " src="http://thelifedesignstudio.typepad.com/.a/6a00e54efd1526883301053595e632970c-200wi" style="MARGIN: 0px 5px 5px 0px; WIDTH: 200px"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;&lt;em&gt; &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;Have you ever heard yourself saying anything like this?  – I have!&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;“They asked me to write a blog but I don’t think I can, I haven’t got the time to prepare for it you see … I’m  far too busy.  &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;"I will find the time if I can of course but  ... I am a perfectionist you see; to get it right will take far too much of my time.  I know that having to have things just right is getting in my way and it’s not that I don’t want to change I have tried everything but it’s just the way I am.  &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;"I am too old to change now.  I suppose I could try, but deep down I know I haven’t got the will power. I’ve always been that way, never could get down to things properly at school with all that Who Ha going on between Mum and Dad at home, I couldn’t cope then so I can’t expect to now. &lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;"I’ll just have to wing it – if it’s not brilliant I am sure everyone will understand – in the circumstances.”&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Excuses Excuses - What Are Excuses About?&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;We use reasons like these all the time to explain why we’re not making the changes in our lives that we need to.  They sound valid enough - we’re all pressed for time and money, and there’s a limit to what we can do surely?  But all too often they are simply excuses, &lt;strong&gt;a way of absolving ourselves of taking action.&lt;/strong&gt;  &#xD;
&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;It’s easier to make an excuse than to make an effort, to face our fears, or to own up to the fact that when it comes right down to it, we are just not willing to take action. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;However these reasons have one major thing in common - they all avoid us taking responsibility for our own action or inaction. Our excuses avoid dealing with the fact that we have the power to change things and if we convince ourselves that ‘it’s not our fault’ that absolves us of any guilt feelings for not taking ownership.  It’s our way of telling ourselves that it’s okay to let events take their course and failure is not down to us.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;What we are really saying is&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;“I don’t have the time for that because I haven’t been willing to make a priority of making better use of my time.” &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;“I don’t have the money for that because I haven’t been willing to make a priority of making better use of my money.” &lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;“I don’t have the skills for that because I haven’t been willing to make a priority of working hard to increase my skills.” &lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;“I don’t have enough willpower for that because I haven’t been willing to make a priority of developing real discipline.” &#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;/ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt; When you put it that way, it really hurts doesn’t it?  It certainly does when I look at my own excuses. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;What we often do is to use these excuses to get ourselves out of the hard work and self-discipline of thinking hard enough to find an answer to our problem . &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Time and again I have clients tell me  &lt;strong&gt;‘My circumstances prevent me from doing what I want to’&lt;/strong&gt; and of course sometimes that may be true – a circumstance is a fact - however is it a circumstance or just an opinion?  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;I found this strong statement on a site giving advice on the net.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;"If you really want to do something you will find a way. If you don't, you will find an excuse."&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Do you agree with this?  Many people would agree, they would say all it needs is a bit of will power, a bit of backbone, just pull yourself together and buckle down.   I don’t agree.  Sometimes that might be true but sometimes you may be going round and round, stuck in a loop and need a little help to find your way out.  &lt;strong&gt;That’s where a good Life Coach can come in really handy.&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Just imagine a relationship which is totally focused on you.   Being able to share your hopes and dreams, goals and ambitions with someone who is there to help your achieve them without any agenda of their own. They won’t laugh at you, judge you or put you down, just use every professional technique at their disposal to help you achieve whatever it is you want and need.  That’s what a Life Coach will offer you and sessions can be by 'phone or face-to-face, whatever your preference.&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Have you caught yourself make ‘excuses?&lt;/strong&gt;  &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Is that helpful or does it get in the way of you achieving the goals you set yourself?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Ask yourself these questions:&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Are my reasons for inaction really true or justified?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;Is my belief about myself or others just a ‘thought habit’ I have got into or maybe a ‘hand me down’ belief which I have inherited from someone else?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What are my false assumptions?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What do I pretend to know or to not know?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What is needed in this situation?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What can I ask myself to do to get me to take some action?  &lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What does inaction cost me?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What am I unwilling to risk?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What will free me up?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;/ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;And to promote action&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;What action will you take next?&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;And after that?&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What will you do? &lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;li&gt;What are your next steps and when will you take them?  &#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&lt;/li&gt;&#xD;
&lt;/ul&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;strong&gt;Sometimes it can be a little more serious.&lt;/strong&gt;  Many people suffer from fears and phobias which paralyze their normal thinking patterns and rob them of the ability to use their logic and reasoning and that is when &lt;strong&gt;Clinical Hypnotherapy can step in to free up the block caused by an excess of anxiety.&lt;/strong&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;I like this anonymous quotation -&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;em&gt;&lt;span style="FONT-SIZE: 14px; FONT-FAMILY: Arial"&gt;“Allowing excuses to remain in your life is equal to planting the seeds for regret and watering them faithfully every single day. “&lt;/span&gt;&lt;/em&gt;&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Can you sort your excuses out for yourself or would a Coach or Therapist with their skills and training help to speed the process?&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;If you are concerned about this or any emotional issue in your life please contact me on &lt;a href="mailto:tony@thelifedesignstudio.com"&gt;tony@thelifedesignstudio.com&lt;/a&gt; and I would be delighted to offer advice. &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;With best wishes   &lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;Tony&lt;/p&gt;&#xD;
&lt;p&gt;&lt;br&gt; &lt;/p&gt;&lt;/div&gt;&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
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