Researchers in Canada have found 4.28 billion year old rocks, probably the world’s oldest, and which may be remnants of a portion of the first crust that formed at the surface of our planet, known as the primordial crust.The ancient rocks were found in Northern Quebec, along the Hudson’s Bay coast, 40 km south of Inukjuak in an area known as the Nuvvuagittuq greenstone belt.The researchers who made the discovery estimated the age of the terrestrial rocks using isotopic dating, which analyzes the decay of the radioactive element, neodymium-142, contained within them, a technique that can only be used to date rocks roughly 4.1 billion years old or older.The Earth is 4.6 billion years old, and remnants of its early crust are extremely rare - most of it has been mashed and recycled into Earth’s interior several times over by plate tectonics since the Earth formed.The discovery team included McGill University earth scientists, Jonathan O’Neil and Don Francis teamed up with Richard W. Carlson, a researcher at the Carnegie Institution for Science in Washington, D.C., and Ross K. Stevenson, a professor at the Université du Québec à Montréal (UQAM).The discovery, whose results are published in the September 26 issue of the journal Science, pushes back age of most ancient remnant of Earth’s crust by 300 million years, according to the researchers.O’Neil said: “Our discovery not only opens the door to further unlock the secrets of the Earth’s beginnings. Geologists now have a new playground to explore how and when life began, what the atmosphere may have looked like, and when the first continent formed.”

I just got back from a vacation in Sarasota, Florida and here are some of the photos I took while down there.

Enjoy!

Robot scientists can think for themselves.

Two teams of researchers said on Thursday they had created machines that could reason, formulate theories and discover scientific knowledge on their own, marking a major advance in the field of artificial intelligence.

Just by crunching the numbers -- and without any prior instruction in physics -- the Cornell machine was able to decipher Isaac Newton's laws of motion and other properties.

Lipson does not think robots will make scientists obsolete any day soon, but believes they could take over much of the routine work in research laboratories.

The monitored the balloon to 100,000 feet, when it finally popped due to the difference in pressure and it fell back to Earth. They had to go 10km in order to find the sensors and camera, but everything survived and they got some beautiful images.

Here is a link to their flickr page and a link to their website. Both are in Spanish, but google translate works quite well!

Originally found the story on telegraph.co.uk.

New photos from my trip to Portsmouth, NH and Ogunquit, ME. It was an awesome day trip and a much needed day out of the city!

Enjoy

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.

Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*Geek Guy: “What?”Me: “Never mind...”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

20090214-20090215 NYC

Rocked by a budget crisis, Brandeis University will close its Rose Art Museum and sell off a 6,000-object collection that includes work by such contemporary masters as Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, and Nam June Paik.

"It is the largest asset that the university owns, and it is a world-class asset," said Jonathan Lee, who chairs the Rose's board of overseers. "So they're saying, 'Oops, we've had some bad reversals in our endowment investments, and we're going to make it up by selling our art.' What a second-class institution we've decided to be."

How dire is the situation for Brandeis?

While museums regularly deaccession individual pieces, the wholesale sell-off of a collection of the Rose's stature is unprecedented. Codes of practice common among museums stress that art should not be sold to cover operating expenses."Clearly, what's happening with Brandeis now is that they decided the easiest way is to look around the campus and find things that can be capitalized," said David Robertson, a Northwestern University professor who is president of the Association of College and University Museums and Galleries. "It's always art that goes first."

Is there a market?

"I'm in shock," said Mark Bessire, the recently named director of the Portland Museum Of Art. "This is definitely not the time to be selling paintings, anyway. The market is dropping. I'm just kind of sitting here sweating because I can't imagine Brandeis would take that step."A recent survey of auction houses showed that prices are down dramatically. Auctions in late 2008 at Sotheby’s and Christie's raised a combined $238 million, down from equivalent sales the year before of a combined $640 million.

Is this moral?

The move also angered David Genser, a Boston-area collector who last year gave the Rose a James Rosenquist drawing."This art was never given to the museum for those purposes," he said. "It should be a last resort. I can't understand how Brandeis is in such dire straits."

Be transparent.

John Sweeney, of Harvard, Massachusetts, was among the many residents of Eastern Mass without power after a big ice storm hit on December 12th. Sweeney, an electrical engineer, saw his Prius as the answer. Using an inverter, he converted the DC power coming out of the car into AC power for his house. Though he couldn't run his entire house one his one car, they were able to get approximately 17 Kilowatt hours of energy. This was enough to power his refrigerator/freezer, television, lights, wood stove fan and accessories for a few days. Although anyone can use a regular DC power supply, like the battery found in a non-Hybrid car, but a hybrid is ideal.

First, the Prius carries a much larger batter pack than a regular car, allowing someone to power more appliances for longer than the conventional AC Delco found in most cars. Second, unlike some backup battery systems found in homes, the Prius, like other cars, can recharge its batteries with its normal internal combustion engine. And here's the best part — because the Prius automatically turns itself on when the batteries drain to a certain level, Sweeney left the car running and it automatically turned over when it needed to recharge — about once every 30 minutes. If you were trying to do what Sweeney did with a non-hybrid, you'd find yourself spending a lot more time outside in the cold. The efficiency of the auto-on feature meant Sweeney only used around five gallons of gas.

In the living room the voice-clock sang, Tick-tock, seven o'clock, time to get up, time to get up, seven o'clock! as if it were afraid nobody would. The morning house lay empty. The clock ticked on, repeating and repeating its sounds into the emptiness. Seven-nine, breakfast time, seven-nine! In the kitchen the breakfast stove gave a hissing sigh and ejected from its warm interior eight pieces of perfectly browned toast, eight eggs sunnyside up, sixteen slices of bacon, two coffees, and two cool glasses of milk."Today is August 4, 2026," said a second voice from the kitchen ceiling., "in the city of Allendale, California." It repeated the date three times for memory's sake. "Today is Mr. Featherstone's birthday. Today is the anniversary of Tilita's marriage. Insurance is payable, as are the water, gas, and light bills."Somewhere in the walls, relays clicked, memory tapes glided under electric eyes.Eight-one, tick-tock, eight-one o'clock, off to school, off to work, run, run, eight-one! But no doors slammed, no carpets took the soft tread of rubber heels. It was raining outside. The weather box on the fron door sang quietly: "Rain, rain, go away; rubbers, raincoats for today..." And the rain tapped on the empty house, echoing.Outside, the garage chimed and lifted its door to reveal the waiting car. After a long wait the door swung down again.At eight-thirty the eggs were shriveled and the toast was like stone. An aluminum wedge scraped them down a metal throat which digested and flushed them away to the distant sea. The dirty dishes were dropped into a hot washer and emerged twinkling dry.Nine-fifteen, sang the clock, time to clean. Out of warrens in the wall, tiny robot mice darted. The rooms were acrawl with the small cleaning animals, all rubber and metal. They thudded against chairs, whirling their mustached runners, kneading the rug nap, sucking gently at hidden dust. Then, like mysterious invaders, they popped into their burrows. Their pink electric eye faded. The house was clean.Ten o'clock. The sun came out from behind the rain. The house stood alone in a city of rubble and ashes. This was the one house left standing. At night the ruined city gave of a radioactive glow which could be seen for miles.Ten-fifteen. The garden sprinklers whirled up in golden founts, filling the soft morning air with scatterings of brightness. The water pelted windowpanes, running down the charred west side where the house had been burned evenly free of its white paint. The entire west face of the house was black, save for five places. Here the silhouette in paint of a man mowing a lawn. Here, as in a photograph, a woman bent to pick flowers. Still farther over, their images burned on wood in one titantic instant, a small boy, hands flung into the air; higher up, the image of thrown ball, and opposite him a girl, hand raised to catch a ball which never came down. The five spots of paint- the man, the woman, the children, the ball - remained. The rest was a thin charcoaled layer. The gentle sprinkler rain filled the garden with falling light.Until this day, how well the house had kept its peace. How carefully it had inquired, 'Who goes there? What's the password?" and, getting no answer from the only foxes and whining cats, it had shut up its windows and drawn shades in an old-maidenly preoccupation with self-protection which bordered on a mechanical paranoia.It quivered at each sound, the house did. If a sparrow brushed a window, the shade snapped up. The bird, startled, flew off! No, not even a bird must touch the house!The house was an altar with ten thousand attendants, big, small, servicing, attending, in choirs. But the gods had gone away, and the ritual of the religion continued senselessly, uselessly.Twelve noon.A dog whined, shivering, on the front porch.The front door recognized the dog voice and opened. The dog, once large and fleshy, but now gone to bone and covered with sores, moved in and through the house, tracking mud. Behind it whirred angry mice, angry at having to pick up mud, angry at inconvenience.For not a leaf fragment blew under the door but what the wall panels flipped open and the copper scrap rats flashed swiftly out. The offending dust, hair, or paper, seized in miniature steel jaws, was raced back to the burrows. There, down tubes which fed into the cellar, it was dropped like evil Baal in a dark corner.The dog ran upstairs, hysterically yelping to each door, at last realizing, as the house realized, that only silence was here. It sniffed the air and scratched the kitchen door. Behind the door, the stove was making pancakes which filled the house with a rich odor and the scent of maple syrup. The dog frothed at the mouth, lying at the door, sniffing, its eyes turned to fire. It ran wildly in circles, biting at its tail, spun in a frenzy, and died. It lay in the parlor for an hourTwo 'clock, sang a voice.Delicately sensing decay at last, the regiments of mice hummed out as softly as blown gray leaves in an electrical wind.Two-fifteen.The dog was gone.In the cellar, the incinerator glowed suddenly and a whirl of sparks leaped up the chimney.Two thirty-five.Bridge tables sprouted from patio walls. Playing cards fluttered onto pads in a shower of pips. Martinis manifested on an oaken bench with egg salad sandwiches. Music played.But the tables were silent and the cards untouched.At four o'clock the tables folded like great butterflies back through the paneled walls.Four-thirty. The nursery walls glowed.Animals took shape: yellow giraffes, blue lions, pink antelopes, lilac panthers cavorting in crystal substance. The walls were glass. They looked out upon color and fantasy. Hidden films clocked though the well-oiled sprockets, and the walls lived. The nursery floor was woven to resemble a crisp cereal meadow. Over this ran aluminum roaches and iron crickets, and in the hot still air butterflies of delicate red tissue wavered among the sharp aroma of animal spoors! There was the sound like a great matted yellow hive of bees within a dark bellows, the lazy bumble of a purring lion. And there was the patter of okapi feet and the murmur of a fresh jungle rain, like other hoofs falling upon the summer-starched grass. Now the walls dissolved into distances of parched weed, mile on mile, and warm endless sky. The animals drew away into thorn brakes and water holes.It was the children's hour.Five o'clock. The bath filled with clear hot water.Six, seven, eight o'clock. The dinner dishes manipulated like magic tricks, and in the study a click. In the metal stand opposite the hearth where a fire now blazed up warmly, a cigar popped out, half an inch of soft gray ash on it, smoking, waiting.Nine o'clock. The beds warmed their hidden circuits, for nights were cool here.Nine-five. A voice spoke from the study ceiling: "Mrs. McClellan, which poem would you like this evening?"The house was silent.The voice said at last, "Since you express no preference, I shall select a poem at random." Quiet music rose to back the voice. "Sara Teasdale. As I recall, your favorite..."There will come soft rains and the smell of the ground, And swallows circling with their shimmering sound;And frogs in the pools singing at night, And wild plum trees in tremulous white;Robins will wear their feathery fire, Whistling their whims on a low fence-wire;And not one will know of the war, not one Will care at last when it is done.Not one would mind, neither bird nor tree, If mankind perished utterly;And Spring herself, when she woke at dawn Would scarcely know that we were gone."The fire burned on the stone hearth and the cigar fell away into a mound of quiet ash on its tray. The empty chairs faced each other between the silent walls, and the music played.At ten o'clock the house began to die.The wind blew. A falling tree bough crashed through the kitchen window. Cleaning solvent, bottled, shattered over the stove. The room was ablaze in an instant! "Fire!" screamed a voice. The house lights flashed, water pumps shot water from the ceilings. But the solvent spread on the linoleum, licking, eating, under the kitchen door, while the voices took it up in chorus: "Fire, fire, fire!"The house tried to save itself. Doors sprang tightly shut, but the windows were broken by the heat and the wind blew and sucked upon the fire.The house gave ground as the fire in ten billion angry sparks moved with flaming ease from room to room and then up the stairs. While scurrying water rats squeaked from the walls, pistoled their water, and ran for more. And the wall sprays let down showers of mechanical rain.But too late. Somewhere, sighing, a pump shrugged to a stop. The quenching rain ceased. The reserve water supply which filled the baths and washed the dishes for many quiet days was gone.The fire crackled up the stairs. It fed upon Picassos and Matisses in the upper halls, like delicacies, baking off the oily flesh, tenderly crisping the canvases into black shavings.Now the fire lay in beds, stood in windows, changed the colors of drapes!And then, reinforcements.From attic trapdoors, blind robot faces peered down with faucet mouths gushing green chemical.The fire backed off, as even an elephant must at the sight of a dead snake. Now there were twenty snakes whipping over the floor, killing the fire with a clear cold venom of green froth.But the fire was clever. It had sent flames outside the house, up through the attic to the pumps there. An explosion! The attic brain which directed the pumps was shattered into bronzeshrapnel on the beams.The fire rushed back into every closet and felt of the clothes that hung there.The house shuddered, oak bone on bone, its bared skeleton cringing from the heat, its wire, its nerves revealed as if a surgeon had torn the skin off to let the red veins and capillaries quiver in the scalded air. Help, help! Fire! Run, run! Heat snapped mirrors like the first brittle winter ice. And the voices wailed Fire, fire, run, run, like a tragic nursery rhyme, a dozen voices, high, low, like children dying in a forest, alone, alone. And the voices fading as the wires popped their sheathings like hot chestnuts. One, two, three, four, five voices died.In the nursery the jungle burned. Blue lions roared, purple giraffes bounded off. The panthers ran in circles, changing color, and ten million animals, running before the fire, vanished off toward a distant steaming river...Ten more voices died. In the last instant under the fire avalanche, other choruses, oblivious, could be heard announcing the time, playing music, cutting the lawn by remote-control mower, or setting an umbrella frantically out and in the slamming and opening front door, a thousand things happening, like a clock shop when each clock strikes the hour insanely before or after the other, a scene of maniac confusion, yet unity; singing, screaming, a few last cleaning mice darting bravely out to carry the horrid ashes away! And one voice, with sublime disregard for the situation, read poetry aloud all in the fiery study, until all the film spools burned, until all the wires withered and the circuits cracked.The fire burst the house and let it slam flat down, puffing out skirts of spark and smoke.In the kitchen, an instant before the rain of fire and timber, the stove could be seen making breakfasts at a psychopathic rate, ten dozen eggs, six loaves of toast, twenty dozen bacon strips, which , eaten by fire, started the stove working again,hysterically hissing!The crash. The attic smashing into the kitchen and parlor. The parlor into cellar, cellar into sub-cellar. Deep freeze, armchair, film tapes, circuits, beds, and all like skeletons thrown in a cluttered mound deep under.Smoke and silence. A great quantity of smoke.Dawn showed faintly in the east. Among the ruins, one wall stood alone. Within the wall, a last voice said, over and over again and again, even as the sun rose to shine upon the heaper rubble and steam:"Today is August 5, 2026, today is August 5, 2026, today is..."

Peeling sticky tape emits X-rays strong enough to scan a human finger, a remarkable experiment has shown.

US researchers used a motorised peeling machine to unwind a roll of Scotch tape at a rate of 3cm per second.

By placing their apparatus in a vacuum, they measured X-rays strong enough to X-ray a human digit, according to a report in Nature journal.

It is well known that unwinding sticky tape produces sparks of light that can be seen in the dark by the naked eye.

This phenomenon, known as "triboluminescence", is produced by the friction generated when two surfaces rub against each other.

The study, by Carlos Camara and Juan Escobar, of the University of California, Los Angeles, USA, provides evidence for the phenomenon, which was first observed more than 50 years ago.

Geneva, 10 September 2008. The first beam in the Large Hadron Collider at CERN1 was successfully steered around the full 27 kilometres of the world’s most powerful particle accelerator at 10h28 this morning. This historic event marks a key moment in the transition from over two decades of preparation to a new era of scientific discovery.

“It’s a fantastic moment,” said LHC project leader Lyn Evans, “we can now look forward to a new era of understanding about the origins and evolution of the universe.”

Starting up a major new particle accelerator takes much more than flipping a switch. Thousands of individual elements have to work in harmony, timings have to be synchronized to under a billionth of a second, and beams finer than a human hair have to be brought into head-on collision. Today’s success puts a tick next to the first of those steps, and over the next few weeks, as the LHC’s operators gain experience and confidence with the new machine, the machine’s acceleration systems will be brought into play, and the beams will be brought into collision to allow the research programme to begin.

Once colliding beams have been established, there will be a period of measurement and calibration for the LHC’s four major experiments, and new results could start to appear in around a year. Experiments at the LHC will allow physicists to complete a journey that started with Newton's description of gravity. Gravity acts on mass, but so far science is unable to explain the mechanism that generates mass. Experiments at the LHC will provide the answer. LHC experiments will also try to probe the mysterious dark matter of the universe – visible matter seems to account for just 5% of what must exist, while about a quarter is believed to be dark matter. They will investigate the reason for nature's preference for matter over antimatter, and they will probe matter as it existed at the very beginning of time.

“The LHC is a discovery machine,” said CERN Director General Robert Aymar, “its research programme has the potential to change our view of the Universe profoundly, continuing a tradition of human curiosity that’s as old as mankind itself.”

Tributes have been coming in from laboratories around the world that have contributed to today’s success.

“The completion of the LHC marks the start of a revolution in particle physics,” said Pier Oddone, Director of the US Fermilab. “We commend CERN and its member countries for creating the foundation for many nations to come together in this magnificent enterprise. We appreciate the support that DOE and NSF have provided throughout the LHC's construction. We in the US are proud to have contributed to the accelerator and detectors at the LHC, together with thousands of colleagues around the world with whom we share this quest.”

“I congratulate you on the start-up of the Large Hadron Collider,” said Atsuto Suzuki, Director of Japan’s KEK laboratory, “This is a historical moment.”

“It has been a fascinating and rewarding experience for us,” said Vinod C. Sahni, Director of India’s Raja Ramanna Centre for Advanced Technology, “I extend our best wishes to CERN for a productive run with the LHC machine in the years to come.”

“As some might say: ‘One short trip for a proton, but one giant leap for mankind!’ TRIUMF, and indeed all of Canada, is delighted to bear witness to this amazing feat,” said Nigel S. Lockyer, Director of Canada’s TRIUMF laboratory. “Everyone has been involved but CERN is to be especially congratulated for bringing the world together to embark on such an incredible adventure.”

In a visit to CERN shortly before the LHC’s start-up United Nations Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon said: “I am very honored to visit CERN, an invaluable scientific institution and a shining example what international community can achieve through joint efforts and contribution. I convey my deepest admiration to all the scientists and wish them all the success for their research for peaceful development of scientific progress.”

1 CERN, the European Organization for Nuclear Research, is the world's leading laboratory for particle physics. It has its headquarters in Geneva. At present, its Member States are Austria, Belgium, Bulgaria, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, Hungary, Italy, Netherlands, Norway, Poland, Portugal, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden, Switzerland and the United Kingdom. India, Israel, Japan, the Russian Federation, the United States of America, Turkey, the European Commission and UNESCO have Observer status.

Earlier this year, she [Palin] told the newspaper that schools should not fear teaching creationism alongside evolution. "Teach both. You know, don't be afraid of information. . . . Healthy debate is so important and it's so valuable in our schools. I am a proponent of teaching both. And you know, I say this too as a daughter of a science teacher."

The volatile issue of teaching creation science in public schools popped up in the Alaska governor's race this week when Republican Sarah Palin said she thinks creationism should be taught alongside evolution in the state's public classrooms.

The Republican Party of Alaska platform says, in its section on education: "We support giving Creation Science equal representation with other theories of the origin of life. If evolution is taught, it should be presented as only a theory."

Q: York County was recently in the news for a lawsuit involving the teaching of intelligent design. What’s your attitude regarding the teaching of evolution in public schools?

A: “I’m a Christian, and I believe in parents being able to provide children with religious instruction without interference from the state.

But I also believe our schools are there to teach worldly knowledge and science. I believe in evolution, and I believe there’s a difference between science and faith. That doesn’t make faith any less important than science. It just means they’re two different things. And I think it’s a mistake to try to cloud the teaching of science with theories that frankly don’t hold up to scientific inquiry.“

“Maybe those with poor publication records are drowning their sorrows.”

Red Sox fan adds high-jinx to Yankees rivalry

The point at which you first piss after you have been drinking your favorite alcoholic beverage and at this point you will be pissing every ten minutes.

The bladder has a capacity of 500 mL (roughly a small carton of milk). The bladder, like the ureter, has various bands of muscle in its wall – spiral, longitudinal and circular. When the bladder empties, the muscles contract in a specific sequence, starting at the top and working down to the bottom. This wrings virtually all of the urine from the bladder. You get your first urge to pass water with a volume of 150 ml of urine, but usually this can be easily ignored. But it’s harder to ignore the marked sense of fullness that normally happens around 400 mL.

The bladder is a hollow organ that is the reservoir for urine. Urine from the kidneys flows at about 1 ml per minute into the bladder, via the ureters. The ureters have walls of muscle arranged in spiral and longitudinal layers. Every 10-60 seconds, waves of synchronized muscle contraction progress down the ureters, pushing urine into the bladder.

Then you have to sit back and literally hold on. Just like five-year-olds physically clutching their groin when they feel they are busting to do a wee, you have to cross your legs, sit down and distract yourself mentally in an effort to ignore the first desire to pass urine. Wait for it to pass, without rushing to the toilet. The idea is to gradually increase the time between each urination, and retrain your bladder back to registering that it is full only when it is actually holding more than 300 ml. This means you get bladder control back, and the bladder stops wrongly sensing fullness at tiny volumes of urine. For most people, this is enough to shift them back to relatively normal bladder habits, full night sleeps and being able to throw away their maps marked with public toilets.

The PCR Song

There was a time when to amplify DNA,
You had to grow tons and tons of tiny cells.

Then along came a guy named Dr. Kary Mullis,
Said you can amplify in vitro just as well.

Just mix your template with a buffer and some primers,
Nucleotides and polymerases, too.

Denaturing, annealing, and extending.
Well it’s amazing what heating and cooling and heating will do.

PCR, when you need to detect mutations.
PCR, when you need to recombine.
PCR, when you need to find out who the daddy is.
PCR, when you need to solve a crime.

(repeat chorus)

Studying the embracing styles of couples in bed showed that placing the arm under your partner's body causes abnormal pressure on the arm muscles, blood vessels and nerves. It occasions weakness and pain in the arms. In some cases (usually in the first months of marriage), tolerating this continuous pressure on the arms causes an affliction called “Radial Neuropathy”. The symptoms are typically weakness in wrist dorsiflexion (i.e. wrist drop) and finger extension.

(Yes I realize it is ironic that her arm is under him.)

Embracing is a magical human behaviour, and one that distinguishes us from other animals. A loving embrace, especially between partners, is one of the most calming actions. Embracing, and bodily proximity and connection after lovemaking, are very important for strengthening relationships. However, what usually stops this pleasant state is not mental tiredness; it is physical weakness....The Love Mattress offers partners a simple yet effective position for embracing. This mattress allows you to hug your loved one intimately without any wrist or arm weakness. The assembled mattress has the same dimensions as other mattresses, with the added advantage that you can make a gap between joined parts. Your arm and shoulder can occupy the gaps when you are lying on your side. In other lying styles, you can easily find your most comfortable position. For example, if you are lying on your tummy, your foot can project comfortably into the mattress. Anatomical research supports the claim that The Love Mattress provides greater comfort than existing mattresses.

Dr Robert Henderson, who led the Cambridge research, explains: “This is the first time that such a process has been seen in real time. To be able see these nano-mechanisms as they are really happening is incredibly exciting. We can actually see the enzyme ‘threading’ through a loop in the virus’s DNA in order to lock on to and break it, a process known as DNA cleavage."

“The microscope and new techniques give us a clear view of the molecular interactions between proteins and DNA that we could only previously interpret indirectly. The indirect methods require scientists to make assumptions to interpret their data, and video footage like this can help to provide a more direct understanding of what is really happening."

The purpose of a Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS) is to inform industrial purchasers and users of hazardous chemicals of the reasonably foreseeable physical and chemical hazards that may arise from the use of those chemicals. Most materials packaged for consumer use are exempt from the requirements of the Hazard Communication Standard (HCS). The MSDS should include precautions for normal use, handling, storage, disposal, and spill cleanup.

i love how perfect that definition of a MSDS is and how it relates to women!

graphical proof of the man's inability to win an argument...we have all been there



this one had me rolling around...yep one switch for a guy and a lot of knobs for women...not so easy to use or understand.


an time study on how long a a woman stays in her natural habitat vs how long a man will venture into a woman's natural habitat.

i wish i had links back to the sites that these were originally on, but i don't...if you know drop me a comment so i can give appropriate links!

Controlling for age, physical maturity, and mother’s education, a significant curvilinear relationship between intelligence and coital status was demonstrated; adolescents at the upper and lower ends of the intelligence distribution were less likely to have sex. Higher intelligence was also associated with postponement of the initiation of the full range of partnered sexual activities. An expanded model incorporating a variety of control and mediator variables was tested to identify mechanisms by which the relationship operates.

Conclusions: Higher intelligence operates as a protective factor against early sexual activity during adolescence, and lower intelligence, to a point, is a risk factor. More systematic investigation of the implications of individual differences in cognitive abilities for sexual activities and of the processes that underlie those activities is warranted.

Even very “early” behaviors, such as holding hands and kissing, are inversely related to PPVT scores, suggesting that higher intelligence is associated with a generalized delay in the onset of all partnered sexual activities.

The peak crime rate occurs in the IQ range from 75 to 90; this is approximately the same range in which the probability of having sex is highest in the Add Health sample (using AHPVT scores standardized to an IQ metric). Although many factors influence adolescents’ sexual behavior, just as many factors influence delinquency, it is clear that higher intelligence is a protective factor and lower intelligence, to a point, constitutes a risk factor.

The idea that brighter adolescents postpone holding hands and kissing because they believe that such activity will start them down the path to coitus (and toward the negative consequences that coitus may entail) implies an extremely far-sighted concern with a “slippery slope” that is hard to take seriously.

More intelligent adolescents do evidence a stronger attachment to conventional values and institutions, and higher expectations about goal attainment. For example, they make better grades in school, they have higher expectations about attending college, they believe their parents are more disapproving of sexual activity, they report higher religious attendance, and they are more likely to be involved in structured activities such as school clubs. Each of these factors is also associated with sexual postponement and appears to play a role in the protective effect of intelligence.

Previous analyses on measures of sexual interest, sexual motivation (e.g., masturbation), and conservatism of sexual attitudes from the Biosocial Factors data indicate that higher intelligence is not associated with lesser sexual interest, just with a postponement of acting on that interest.

The inclusion of multiple control and mediator variables yielded no change in the relative odds of having sex among adolescents who score very low on the AHPVT. This suggests that the elements and dynamics of the protection process differ for adolescents who fall at opposite ends of the intelligence distribution.

For males with IQs under 70, 63.3% were still virgins, for those with IQs between 70-90 only 50.2% were virgin, 58.6% were virgins with IQs between 90-110, and 70.3% with IQs over 110 were virgins.

Each additional point of IQ increased the odds of virginity by 2.7% for males and 1.7% for females.

By the age of 19, 80% of US males and 75% of women have lost their virginity, and 87% of college students have had sex. But this number appears to be much lower at elite (i.e. more intelligent) colleges. According to the article, only 56% of Princeton undergraduates have had intercourse. At Harvard 59% of the undergraduates are non-virgins, and at MIT, only a slight majority, 51%, have had intercourse. Further, only 65% of MIT graduate students have had sex.

The student surveys at MIT and Wellesley also compared virginity by academic major. The chart for Wellesley displayed below shows that 0% of studio art majors were virgins, but 72% of biology majors were virgins, and 83% of biochem and math majors were virgins! Similarly, at MIT 20% of 'humanities' majors were virgins, but 73% of biology majors. (Apparently those most likely to read Darwin are also the least Darwinian!)

While still consistent with pregnancy fears and competing interests, lower sex drive seems like a better fit. In fact another revealing finding from the Counterpoint survey was that while 95% of US men and 70% of women masturbate, this number is only 68% of men and 20% of women at MIT!

But lower sex drive and anxiety about sex's consequences can't be the whole story either. Half Sigma also showed that the smartest men in the GSS (approx. IQ >120) were also more likely to visit a prostitute. (Hardly indicative of cautiousness) This may suggest intelligent men are less able to find willing sex partners. Are smart men less attractive to women? Perhaps in some ways. For instance HS found that smart men were less likely to be athletic, and this paper shows, unathletic men and women have fewer sex partners. Athletic men, with more willing sexual partners are also less likely to visit a prostitute. Athletic activity gives men more masculine bodies, which are more attractive to women. A more masculine physique correlates with (PDF) an increased number of sex partners.

So intelligent people have lower libidos and less masculine physiques. What hormone is responsible for both sex drive and masculine builds? That's right: testosterone.

And two new papers suggest that testosterone may depress IQ. One team found that salivary testosterone levels were lower for preadolescent boys with IQs above 130 and below 70. (the same two groups most likely to be virgins in adolescence)

Jennifer Chowdhury attended the interactive telecommunications program at New York University, where her prototypes drew on her engineering training, her artistic aspirations and her sense of humor. Her master's thesis project, Intimate Controllers, is not explicitly sexual -- but it's not something you would use with your sibling, either.

Intimate Controllers is a set of sensors embedded in underwear that direct the action on a video game. Rather than sit separately on the couch and jam fingers against small plastic buttons, players touch each other to control the game.

Overheard - contributed by coffeedrinker on 05/19/2007

Woman: You notice we don't talk any more?
Guy: (reading magazine) Sure we do.
Woman: When?
Guy: (pauses, looks up) Right now.
Woman: This isn't talking.
Guy: We are talking.
Woman: That's not what I'm talking about.
Guy: (sighs) What are you talking about?
Woman: Talking. Real talking.
Guy: (puts down mag) Ok. Talk. What do you want to say?
Woman: Nothing...
Guy: (laughs)
Woman: It's not funny. I'm serious.
Guy: So, talk, really. I'm listening.
Woman: I don't want to talk. I'm just saying it would be nice if we could...
Guy: Why can't we?
Woman: We can. It's just, we don't.
Guy: OK. I'm going to go back to my magazine. If you want to talk, tell me.
Woman: I want to talk.
Guy: (closes magazine)
Woman: Just not right now....
--Overheard in: Coffee Bar, Outside Boston--

Status vs. Support.
Men grow up in a world in which a conversation is often a contest, either to achieve the upper hand or to prevent other people from pushing them around. For women, however, talking is often a way to exchange confirmation and support.

Independence vs. Intimacy.
Since women often think in terms of closeness and support, they struggle to preserve intimacy. Men, concerned with status, tend to focus more on independence. These traits can lead women and men to starkly different views of the same situation.

Advice vs. Understanding.
The problem stemmed from a difference in approach. To many men a complaint is a challenge to come up with a solution. But often women are looking for emotional support, not solutions.

Information vs. Feelings.
Women verbalize their feelings with friends and relatives, whereas to most men, talk is information and it isn't required at home. Yet many such men hold center stage in a social setting, telling jokes and stories. They use conversation to claim attention and to entertain. Women can wind up hurt that their husbands tell relative strangers things they have not told them.

Orders vs. Proposals.
Men decipher "Let's" as a command. Most men, resist being told what to do. But to a woman, it is a suggestion, not a demand. Most women formulate requests as proposals rather than orders. Their style of talking is a way of getting others to do what they want - but by winning agreement first.

Conflict vs. Compromise.
In trying to prevent fights, some women refuse to oppose the will of others openly. But sometimes it's far more effective for a woman to assert herself, even at the risk of conflict. Men who habitually oppose others can adjust their style to opt for less confrontation. When we don't see style differences for what they are, we sometimes draw unfair conclusions: "You're illogical," "You're self- centered," "You don't care about me." But once we grasp the two characteristic approaches, we stand a better chance of preventing disagreements from spiraling out of control.

-from "Can't We Talk?" (condensed from: You Just Don't Understand) by Deborah Tannen

Dear Michael,

Every year I attempt to boost my students' final grades by giving them this relatively simple exam consisting of 100 True/False questions from only 3 chapters of material. For the past 20 years that I have taught Intro Communications 101 at this institution I have never once seen someone score below a 65 on this exam. Consequently, your score of a zero is the first in history and ultimately brought the entire class average down a whole 8 points.

There were two possible answer choices: A (True) and B (False). You chose C for all 100 questions in an obvious attempt to get lucky with a least a quarter of the answers. It's as if you didn't look at a single question. Unfortunately, this brings your final grade in this class to failing. See you next year!

May God have mercy on your soul.

Sincerely,
Professor William Turner

P.S. If all else fails, go with B from now on.

B is the new C

For the propagation of an ideal where science communicators can meet firstly, for drinks; secondly, for communicating; and ultimately, for networking.

- not opposed to alcohol.

- fond of IPCC reports (especially the pictures).

- mostly in agreement with the “truth.”

- into badges.

- grieving for the slow and miserable death of the Hubble Space Telescope.

- possibly possessed of supernatural powers.

- not in the business of total world domination

- committed to the constant and diligent presentation of science stories, be it to editors, producers, directors, educators, relatives and/or friends of various ilk, in an effort to lessen the gap that is this thing we call public scientific literacy.

ORDER OF THE SCIENCE SCOUTS OF EXEMPLARY REPUTE AND ABOVE AVERAGE PHYSIQUE: the official badge

The “talking science” badge: if you know me you get this one

The “MacGyver” badge: i have used lab supplies more than once, for uses other than what they should be used for...mostly to escape from meetings with PIs

The “I blog about science” badge: um what they hell are you reading?

The “I’m pretty confident around an open flame” badge: don't question my bunsen burner competence

The “inappropriate nocturnal use of lab equipment in the name of alternative science experimentation / communication” badge: all i have to say is that when you are doing an experiment at 2am some things seem much cooler than they are

The “destroyer of quackery” badge: wanna to debate creationism?

The “sexing up science” badge: crossing and prokaryotic conjugation studies, i have done, but science is already sexy enough...isn't it? actually wait...don't answer that.

The “I can be a prick when it comes to science” badge: debate me regarding something i am passionate about...you'll see

The “has frozen stuff just to see what happens” badge (LEVEL I): yeah since i was 5

The “has frozen stuff just to see what happens” badge (LEVEL II): dry ice freezes stuff so much faster and all i have to say is sublimation

The “has frozen stuff just to see what happens” badge (LEVEL III): liquid nitrogen might be the reason i became a scientist...seriously...no really

The “I work with way too much radioactivity, and yet still no discernable superpowers yet” badge: radioactive uptake assay anyone?

The “I’ve done science with no conceivable practical application” badge: this one depends on your definition of practical, but i worked with humic acid...thats right you have no idea what that is!

The “I know what a tadpole is” badge: yes i do, plus it looks like sperm and i only know how to collect sperm from one other species [sea urchin] so i can get The “knows how to collect semen from more than one species” badge yet.

The “cloner” badge: i am a biochemist...nuh said.

The “totally digs highly exothermic reactions” badge: i like to blow things up...don't hold that against me

The “science has forced me to seek medical attention” badge: see above badge

The “statistical linear regression” badge: actually that looks like a gaussian distribution

The “I’ve set fire to stuff” badge (LEVEL I): fire is fun to play with

The “I’ve set fire to stuff” badge (LEVEL II): fire is fun to play with and there are rules to how it works [combustion principles]

The “I’ve set fire to stuff” badge (LEVEL III): fire is fun to play with and there are more rules to how it works [thermodynamic principles]

The “I’ve set fire to stuff” badge (LEVEL IV): see the exothermic reaction and medical attention badge

The “works with acids” badge: the easiest badge i achieved

The “has done science whilst under the influence” badge: normally late on fridays

The “what I do for science dictates my having to wash my hands before I use the toilet” badge: i am not touching my stuff with my hands after touching what i was just touching

so there it is...the badges that i am awarding myself!

so to everyone who has ever called me a geek or nerd...yeah i got nothing now...

Dear Elantra:

"Happy Birthday" from your friends at Herb Chambers Toyota Hyundai of Auburn!

I hope you and Kene are getting along well and that Kene is taking good care of you. If you have any bumps and scratches, aches or pains, just come in and see us. We are here to care for you. As always if there is anything I can do, please call me at Herb Chambers Toyota Hyundai of Auburn at 508-832-8000.

I hope you and your owner have an excellent day!

Respectfully,
Chuck Wolfe
Sales Manager
Herb Chambers Toyota Hyundai of Auburn

Several years back, myself and some colleagues (all in the molecular biology genre) had a discussion about this over some drinks. Specifically, we tried to calculate how long our doctorates would have actually taken, if we assumed that all the experiments we did in our theses worked right off the bat. Always with the first time success, reproducible results in triplicate no problemo, no troubleshooting required, or literally, a case where we had "magic fingers" for the entire length of our graduate career.

And so, if we assumed that taking courses was not factored in, and that we would have about 3 months to actually write up the damn thing, we all agreed that our Ph.D. would have taken somewhere in the 6 month range to complete. 6 freakin' months!

Anyway, in the end, I took just over 5 years, which means for the 3 months or so of "thesis bound" results, there also existed about 54 months of "non-thesis" bound results. And that is like a 5% success rate - which ultimately means that, really, you just have to work one day every three or so weeks, and as long as you pick the right day, you'll still get your degree in the normal length of time.

In the academic world, there is a traditional rule; for career advancement (to obtain tenure and receive full professorship), one has to secure research grants and publish papers. Thus, the old saying “publish or perish” is a reality...In contrast, for pharmaceutical industry, the vital thing is the new-drug application to the FDA. A journal article is worth nothing without the FDA approval. However, publication in prestigious journals along with FDA approval is just like icing on the cake that would influence physicians to prescribe the company’s product. (Bodenheimer, 2000)

Do you have dozens of PDF files from your favorite scientific articles scattered on your harddrive? Do you also try to desperately organize them by renaming and archiving them in folders? But like the piles of printed articles on your desk, you can't keep up with all the new papers you download, and despite all your efforts it has become impossible to find that one article.

Finally that all belongs to the past. We've been there, trust us, we know. That's why we wrote Papers, our latest application exclusively for the Mac. Papers will revolutionize the way you deal with scientific papers. Search for papers using PubMed, directly retrieve and archive PDFs, and read and study them all from within Papers, your personal library of Science.

so here are my favorite features:

1. creates an organized folder in my documents with all of the papers organized into folders by year, then into folders of first author, then renames the pdf via journal name_first author_year.pdf
2. did i mention it does this automatically
3. look up papers already downloaded and fixes their information and then does the aforementioned
4. has a built in pubmed search
5. built in web-browser
6. full screen pdf mode which i might be able to read a pdf on my computer rather than killing thousands of trees
7. one place to go for all my paper needs

I quote others only in order the better to express myself.
~Michel de Montaigne

Life's journey is not to arrive safely at the grave, in a well preserved body; but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting...holy shit...what a ride!
~Unknown

The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray, and the advantage of science is that it is not emotional.
~Oscar Wilde

Wake up naked drinking coffee
Making plans to change the world
While the world is changing us
~Dave Matthews

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.
~Robert Frost

If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.
~Oscar Wilde

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.
~Chico Maroc

A photograph is usually looked at - seldom looked into.
~Ansel Adams

I am not young enough to know everything.
~Oscar Wilde

Misquotation is, in fact, the pride and privilege of the learned. A widely-read man never quotes accurately, for the rather obvious reason that he has read too widely.
~Hesketh Pearson

The indicator differs from standardized tests and others measuring traits, such as intelligence, instead classifying people's preferred types. According to Myers-Briggs Theory, while types and traits are both inborn, traits can be improved akin to skills, whereas types, if supported by a healthy environment, naturally differentiate over time. The indicator attempts to tell the order in which this occurs in each person, and it is that information, combined with interviews done with others who have indicated having the same preferences, that the complete descriptions are based on. The indicator then, is akin to an arrow which attempts to point in the direction of the proper description. The facet of the theory which posits that the features being sorted for are in fact types, and not traits which can be improved with practice, is hotly debated.

However, proponents of the indicator will explain that to learn about one's inborn traits is to create the opportunity to improve how one applies them in different contexts. In that sense, the MBTI can yield much personal change and growth.

The types the MBTI sorts for, known as dichotomies, are extraversion / introversion, sensing / intuition, thinking / feeling and judging / perceiving. Participants are given one of 16 four-letter abbreviations, such as ESTJ or INFP, indicating what their preferences are. The term best-fit types refers to the ethical code that facilitators are required to follow. It states that the person taking the indicator is always the best judge of what their preferences are and that the indicator alone should never be used to make this decision.

The terms Introvert and Extravert (sometimes spelled 'extrovert') are referred to as attitudes and show how a person orients and receives their energy. In the extraverted attitude the energy flow is outward, and the preferred focus is on other people and things, whereas in the introverted attitude the energy flow is inward, and the preferred focus is on one's own thoughts, ideas and impressions.

Sensing and Intuition are the perceiving functions. These are the nonrational functions, as a person does not necessarily have control over receiving data, but only how to process it once they have it. Sensing people tend to focus on the present and on concrete information gained from their senses. Sensing prefers to receive data primarily from the five senses. Intuitives tend to focus on the future, with a view toward patterns and possibilities. These people prefer to receive data from the subconscious, or seeing relationships via insights.

Thinking and Feeling are the decision making (judging) calculus functions. They both strive to make rational choices, using the data received from their perceiving functions, above. Thinking people tend to base their decisions on logic "true or false, if-then" connections and on objective analysis of cause and effect. Feeling people tend to base their decisions primarily on values and on subjective evaluation of person centered concerns. Feelings use "more or less, better-worse" evaluations. It could be said that thinkers decide with their heads, while feelers decide with their hearts. When Thinking or Feeling is extraverted, decisions tend to rely on external sources and the generally accepted rules and procedures. When introverted, Thinking and Feeling decisions tend to be subjective, relying on internally generated ideas for logical organization and evaluation.

Judging and Perceiving reveals the specific attitudes of the functions. J or P records which of the strongest of the judging functions or perceiving functions is outwardly displayed. People who prefer judging tend to like a planned and organized approach to life and prefer to have things settled. People who prefer Perceiving tend to like a flexible and spontaneous approach to life and prefer to keep their options open. (The terminology may be misleading for some—the term "Judging" does not imply "judgmental", and "Perceiving" does not imply "perceptive").

ENTJs have a natural tendency to marshall and direct. This may be expressed with the charm and finesse of a world leader or with the insensitivity of a cult leader. The ENTJ requires little encouragement to make a plan. One ENTJ put it this way... "I make these little plans that really don't have any importance to anyone else, and then feel compelled to carry them out." While "compelled" may not describe ENTJs as a group, nevertheless the bent to plan creatively and to make those plans reality is a common theme for NJ types.

ENTJs are often "larger than life" in describing their projects or proposals. This ability may be expressed as salesmanship, story-telling facility or stand-up comedy. In combination with the natural propensity for filibuster, our hero can make it very difficult for the customer to decline.

TRADEMARK: -- "I'm really sorry you have to die." (I realize this is an overstatement. However, most Fs and other gentle souls usually chuckle knowingly at this description.)

ENTJs are decisive. They see what needs to be done, and frequently assign roles to their fellows. Few other types can equal their ability to remain resolute in conflict, sending the valiant (and often leading the charge) into the mouth of hell. When challenged, the ENTJ may by reflex become argumentative. Alternatively (s)he may unleash an icy gaze that serves notice: the ENTJ is not one to be trifled with.

TIME SENSITIVE:

FREE SOX BLEACHER SEATS. CALL 617-247-1835 AND SAY "MATSUZAKA" WHEN THEY PICK UP BUT BEFORE THEY GREET YOU.

ONE PER PERSON, ONLY VALID UNTIL 5.

In its April 1985 edition, Sports Illustrated published a story about a new rookie pitcher who planned to play for the Mets. His name was Sidd Finch and he could reportedly throw a baseball with startling, pinpoint accuracy at 168 mph (65 mph faster than anyone else has ever been able to throw a ball). Surprisingly, Sidd Finch had never even played the game before. Instead, he had mastered the "art of the pitch" in a Tibetan monastery under the guidance of the "great poet-saint Lama Milaraspa." Mets fans everywhere celebrated at their teams's amazing luck at having found such a gifted player, and Sports Illustrated was flooded with requests for more information. But in reality this legendary player only existed in the imagination of the writer of the article, George Plimpton.

In 1977 the British newspaper The Guardian published a special seven-page supplement in honor of the tenth anniversary of San Serriffe, a small republic located in the Indian Ocean consisting of several semi-colon-shaped islands. A series of articles affectionately described the geography and culture of this obscure nation. Its two main islands were named Upper Caisse and Lower Caisse. Its capital was Bodoni, and its leader was General Pica. The Guardian's phones rang all day as readers sought more information about the idyllic holiday spot. Few noticed that everything about the island was named after printer's terminology. The success of this hoax is widely credited with launching the enthusiasm for April Foolery that then gripped the British tabloids in the following decades.

The April 1998 issue of the New Mexicans for Science and Reason newsletter contained an article claiming that the Alabama state legislature had voted to change the value of the mathematical constant pi from 3.14159 to the 'Biblical value' of 3.0. Before long the article had made its way onto the internet, and then it rapidly made its way around the world, forwarded by people in their email. It only became apparent how far the article had spread when the Alabama legislature began receiving hundreds of calls from people protesting the legislation. The original article, which was intended as a parody of legislative attempts to circumscribe the teaching of evolution, was written by a physicist named Mark Boslough.

In 2000 a news release was sent to the media stating that the 15th annual New York City April Fool's Day Parade was scheduled to begin at noon on 59th Street and would proceed down to Fifth Avenue. According to the release, floats in the parade would include a "Beat 'em, Bust 'em, Book 'em" float created by the New York, Los Angeles, and Seattle police departments. This float would portray "themes of brutality, corruption and incompetence." A "Where's Mars?" float, reportedly built at a cost of $10 billion, would portray missed Mars missions. Finally, the "Atlanta Braves Baseball Tribute to Racism" float would feature John Rocker who would be "spewing racial epithets at the crowd." CNN and the Fox affiliate WNYW sent television news crews to cover the parade. They arrived at 59th Street at noon only to discover that there was no sign of a parade, at which point the reporters realized they had been hoaxed. The prank was the handiwork of Joey Skaggs, an experienced hoaxer. Skaggs had been issuing press releases advertising the nonexistent parade every April Fool's Day since 1986.

In 1998 Guinness issued a press release announcing that it had reached an agreement with the Old Royal Observatory in Greenwich, England to be the official beer sponsor of the Observatory's millennium celebration. According to this agreement, Greenwich Mean Time would be renamed Guinness Mean Time until the end of 1999. In addition, where the Observatory traditionally counted seconds in "pips," it would now count them in "pint drips." The Financial Times, not realizing that the release was a joke, declared that Guinness was setting a "brash tone for the millennium." When the Financial Times learned that it had fallen for a joke, it printed a curt retraction, stating that the news it had disclosed "was apparently intended as part of an April 1 spoof."

How to Annoy and Atheist:

7) Tell them that the universe is too complex to "just exist," and must have been created by a God who "just exists."

8) Make up statistics.

12) Use multiple versions of Pascal's Wager as though you thought them up yourself.

13) Use the Second Law of Thermodynamics to disprove evolution.

23) Use bad math to back up your claims.

31) Lead off your criticism of the Big Bang theory with the disclaimer that you're not a physicist like he is.

32) Lead off your suggestions for ways to prove that Noah's Flood occured with the disclaimer that you're not a geologist like he is.

33) Overwhelm him with your knowledge of science, using examples: "And because of entropy you have to press the nozzle on the spray can. The nozzle is entropy."

34) Use Latin a lot.

39) Blame absolutely everything wrong in society on evolution.

63) Ask him how he knows God isn't real if he can't see the air.

74) Attribute every apparent error in the Bible to mistranslation.

77) When shown that the Bible says that Pi=3, say that the Hebrews didn't know anything about science, so it's not their fault.

78) When shown the creation account in Genesis, insist that the Hebrews had all kinds of scientific savvy, being inspired by God.

90) Claim that archeology is proof of the Bible's truth.

121) Claim that Darwin recanted evolution on his deathbed.

124) Say that evolution is not proven -- therefore the Bible is correct.

146) Spell it "evilution."

188) When asked what's wrong with evolution, tell them that it doesn't account for the origin of matter.

237) Create hoaxes to prove creationism (i.e. a human footprint alongside a dino's footprint).

244) Grossly misunderstand the word "theory."

279) Point to something in nature that's really cool, and call it proof of God's existence.