The Life of a Hockey Wife

Let the hockey season begin!

2010-08-15T08:01:00.000-07:00

The summer months (although we are still in August) feel like they've come and gone far too quickly for us this year. We've now settled into our home away from home across the border just in time for pre-season training and the camp.

My husband is gearing up for the season. The little boy inside of him dreams at night and hopes during the day that this year will be it. This will be the year they'll win the cup. I know he dreams about it not cause he's told me, but because whenever I catch a glimpse of him drifting off to sleep after a long day of training; its with a grin consumes his entire face....I've seen this face before over the course of our relationship and it's unmistakeable. At this level, when you've come so far and have worked so hard, they all have to believe. They need to believe that there's a chance that they could reach that next level in their career, that's what keeps them going. They all dream the same thing but hopefully they do not lose sight of what is more important, that they are living their dreams.

As for me, the summer months although they were cut sort were filled with family, friends, weddings, and travelling in Europe. Now it's almost time to hit the books again, while I sharpen my mind he sharpens his blades, or has already has, over the course of the past month and a bit.

Once again I am very excited to share all the excitement, trials, tribulations and comedy that will go on in our life this year so without an further adieu.

Let the hockey season begin!

HW

Not everyome thinks being out of the playoffs is a bad thing...

2010-05-07T10:55:00.000-07:00

My man's team is officially out of the playoffs. I think he's a little sad because he had such a great year, and he would have liked to just keep on playing. Not so secretly, I am happy to be headed back to our home in Canada to see all our friends and family. Before we leave though, there will be one more cocktail party so I will have to find something sharp to wear. I'm tired of dresses, so I think I'll just go high waisted dress pants, my tallest heels, and an elegant classic knit on top. How is the end of the playoffs for the other hockey wives and fans?! Is it dragging out like a dead horse, or slipping away too fast. Playoff comments, anecdotes, and questions welcomed.

-HW

Girls Night

2010-04-10T13:12:00.000-07:00

I'm having the other hockey ladies over for a pizza and beer party tonight to watch the game. I'm excited because I haven't had many chances to bond with the girls so this will be a great opportunity to get to know them better. What are some of the best girls nights or trips other women have planned as a group while their men are on the road?

HW

All we need is love...and hockey

2010-04-08T15:58:00.000-07:00

Wow...I'm not often at a loss for words but returning from my long awaited blogging hiatus... I don't know where to start.

Firstly, I'm glad to see that everyone shared their opinions during my absence. This is an open space and I wanted to make it a free-forum to gain different perspectives from EVERYONE in the hockey community. However, what's with all the hate ladies?! I created this blog to be an inclusive space for all women who live in this hockey world, whether they are a wife, super-fan, fan, stripper, mother or female hockey player. Where has the sisterhood gone? I’m not asking you to agree, approve, or support the opinions or lifestyles of others just to practice compassion and to keep an open heart. We all can add value here...we just have to read between the lines sometimes to understand the writer’s perspective. On that note, let’s all try our best to learn from one and other and practice compassion while keeping an open mind. This site is not meant to be a blame game for the woes’ of the hockey life. Each instance is independent from the next. It was meant to be an online community for women to come together and talk about issues and hardships that effect them in the hockey world. I hope it will help to break down all serotypes from whatever label one might typically be placed under. The way I see it: no matter where we find ourselves in this hockey world I think that there is a place for us all. Whether we don an engagement ring, a wedding band, an oversized jersey, a face full of makeup and heels to a hockey game, or nothing at all to work... we are all women thus; we are technically on the same team.

I've been absent for the past month for good reason. My husband has had some recent luck in his career and our homestead has been a little unstable as we have been moved back and forth between two cities that aren't close. I'm not complaining though, life is good!

I think we really need to turn this topic around and discuss something positive. I would love to hear about the most successful types of charity events we have witnessed or as girlfriends and wives; have been involved in organizing. I think this idea sharing would be beneficial for the hockey arena communities as well as get the conversation back on track to somewhere positive for this blog. I look forward to your posts! Thanks for sticking with me sisters!

HW

Lions Tigers and Cheaters

2010-03-04T00:41:00.000-08:00

Let’s not sugar coat this; a lot of men in the professional sports world cheat. As do men in other professions; but when talent, long distance, egos, celebrity, female fans, and other enabling factors mix; it can be a lethal combination for a relationship.

We all hope that when temptation arises; our husbands’ morals will outweigh his talent, but the reality is...most men in general are pigs. Correct me if I'm wrong here ladies, but I can say from my personal life experience that 75% of men are pigs. For those of you who disagree with me and believe that most men aren't....challenge me. I would love to be convinced otherwise. For those of you who agree with me; please share any cheater stories you've seen or heard.

We're not trying to scare anyone, but it is a reality in this world especially.

HW

The fine line between super-fan and stalker behaviour

2010-03-02T20:10:00.000-08:00

Great posts ladies! I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. My next question is: Does your husband have any fans that have done stalker-ish and inappropriate things to you and/or your husband/boyfriend?
The great fans are much appriciated the creepy ones, not so much...
If you have any such stories, please share...I have a good one to share too so check back tomorrow!

HW

After giving a little to charity...I will accept some from my fellow Hockey Wives

2010-03-02T02:21:00.000-08:00

I've had a lot of hockey fans ask me lately at games how I met my man. If they only knew I wrote a blog, and gave out every dirty detail of my personal life for the world to read, then they would be able to access that information....hehehe

So tonight after I have completely exhausted myself trying to prepare an overly ambitious charity event with some of the other wives; who would rather small talk than actually get any work done...I ask YOU my fellow hockey wives; to share the cute, romantic, or SEXY way you met and kept your man in the comments section below. Those of you who are the wives of men from other professions’, are more than welcome to share too! Looking forward to hearing some great stories!

Night night!

HW

The only man who's going to score is my husband

2010-03-01T02:10:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all the support and comments ladies. It was a pleasure to read the feedback today, and it's empowering to know we in control of building this community, where wives and fans come together to create a positive experience for all in evolved in the hockey life. It enspires me to keep writing when there's so much support from both sides.
When reading some of the comments today, it reminded me not only how annoying it can be to have your husband hit on right in front of you, but also how hilarious it can be when women go to the extreme of embarrassingly throwing themselves at him.
There are the girls from his University who are his ``friends`` on Facebook, who are literally writing on his wall everyday... “xoxox”, “love you” or “you`re the best”... close friends eh?! Hahaha...
Then there are the Stalker-ish love letters that come to the house in large envelops, with clipping from his career for the last 7 years.
What about the ex-girlfriends who come out of the wood-work when his career starts to take off? They never hesitate to tell him he should leave me and go back to them...what desperate jokes they are.
Or how about this one: when girls you have never met before at the arena; who are dressed to the nines and who come out of nowhere, to ask you who you are....What do they mean, who am I??? I’m just a person trying to watch a hockey game....who are YOU miss nosey?! They feel the need to tell you that they think your husband is so hot, or that they have a crush on him. How are we supposed to react to this information? Like it’s normal???? How we manage to remain calm, poised, and polite is an art form that few are able to master. We try our best to respond this way because there are many female fans, who are genuinely sweet, friendly and curious. Yet there are those retched few, who you find out two days later, are sending your husband illicit messages via Facebook!
Oh the life we live!
The funny thing is: and tell me if this is the case for all of you, When the shoe is on the other foot, never in my life have I been with a man that is so protective or who gets so jealous; when other men look in my direction! It`s a bit silly, because we trust each other so much; but when it comes down to it, it just shows how into each other we are.
A reader asked me not too long ago: how my husband reacts when men hit on me. The last time I can remember, would have to be during my internship:
It was my first day on the job. I had been busy all morning trying to look as if I knew what I was doing and had forgotten my cell ( I don`t wear a watch) in the car. I wanted to know the exact time as I was leaving for my lunch break so I tapped a man standing with his back towards me in the door way on his shoulder; as I thought I could kill two birds with one stone while letting him know to move out of my way.... When he turned around, I must have bushed. Other than my husband of course, I had never seen a man as beautiful as him in real life....other than in magazines’...hahaha...And before anyone asks, yes, my husband reads this site!

Anyway, as the question awkwardly spilled out of my mouth, I felt a wave of embarrassment rush over me when I noticed the grandfather clock standing in plain sight just outside the door. Eik...he laughed, as he answered my question, using the clock in the lobby. I suddenly realized that he might think it was an excuse to talk to him! My snowhite skin suddenly changed to bright red. Then he gave me ``the look``. You know what I`m talking about ladies, when a man either wants you, or thinks you want him, whatever it means, it’s their unabashed flirt look. Well I said thank you and ran away as quickly as I could to the cafe across the street.

The waitress sat me in the dead center of the restaurant. As I sat alone all the excitement of the first half of my work day faded away getting,

I was wishing I hadn`t forgotten my school books in the car, when who walks into the restaurant?!? The man from my office! To make the matters worse, the waitress sat him about ten feet away, facing me head on! At this point I'm really wishing I had my homework with me! I awkwardly drank my coffee and waited impatiently for my food, trying to look everywhere but at him; which is not an easy feat when someone is staring shamelessly in your direction.

When I saw the waitress carrying out my food, I primitively decide to scarf my meal as quickly as possible to get out of this painful situation. Out of my peripheral vision, I saw him stand up with his plate of food and start walking towards my table.....No no no no....I hoped he wasn`t coming over, my stress level spiked through the roof! I hope he's was not going to try and sit at my table. He stood over me with his plate in hand and I heard his British accented voice inquire: “Would you mind if I sat here”?

That's not a fair question. It doesn't really give a choice, so I blurt out in a tone that was not meant to sound so stand-off-ish: “Go ahead”. He smiled and sat down. I felt as if I am doing something completely wrong. I broke out into a sweat, hoping it wasn’t showing though my newly purchased work attire a cream coloured silk blouse.

“So you're the new girl”? He asked...another awkward question!

I answer “Yes” and the conversation seemed to flow a little easier as I made it work related.

I found myself talking with my hands, which is out of character for me. I guess it made me feel better to flash the bling on my left hand. He asked me where I'm from, and the answer leads the typical: “I know Joe Canada in this city... do you? He proceeded to tell me Joe Canada was a huge hockey fan and the name of his favourite team. His friend’s favourite time was coincidentally, the club my husband was signed with last year. There was my chance to drop the ``I married bomb`` and my guilt would be relieved!

Bringing up my husband’s career in a conversation with anyone, let alone a stranger is something I avoid doing at all costs, as it seems to always bring up questions I don`t want to answer, stereotypes, or rumours. While I tried to force the words out of my mouth, the moment to mention it casually, slips away.

It's too late, I think to myself...I was stressing more than before. I wasn’t hearing a word he was saying yet I was trying to look attentive and polite. After all, I had to work with this guy, and how bad would it be to I gain a reputation of being on unapproachable bitch on the first day?

The conversation came to a lull and he glanced at me the same way as before. It was an intense almost aggressive look. I was doing everything in my power to give a platonic vibe but he still managed to make me feel violated!

Without hesitation or further thought, I blurt out: “my HUSBAND used to play for that team”.

His response: “Oh yeah? That's cool”. But it doesn't seem to faze him.

In what seemed like it took forever, we finished our meals and paid our separate bills. He waited for me as put on my jacket. I to go ahead because I need to use the washroom. I definitely didn't want to be seen walking back with this guy on the first day on the job.

As I drove home at the end of my first day, the guilt was still sitting in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t interested in this man at all, and the fact that he seemed so eager to flirt with me and didn't seem to be fazed by the fact that he was making me incredibly uncomfortable, or the fact that I was taken, grossed me out. My man tends to be shy and modest around people he doesn't know and that’s a quality that I find attractive in a man, not over-bearing confidence.

As I entered the front door, the house was filled with the aroma of delicious marinated steak and veggies sautéing in garlic and butter. The table was set, and wine was poured. What a great husband I have! As we sat down to eat our supper, I told him everything. At first he laughed, because I seemed so distraught about it, but he agreed I did nothing wrong. It was obvious though, that he was very jealous; especially when he blustered without reason: “I hate British men!” lol.

To cut this very loooong story short, we are both young, attractive, intelligent and successful people; and when other attractive people hit on us, even if it’s unwanted, you’re bound to notice and be slightly flattered. That's human nature. But he and I have something so much deeper that any flattery and we would never risk that in any way. Or love keeps us on the straight and narrow and our strength of character and morals allow us to live with faith in love our love. In the end, it`s him and I. Nothing and no one else matters.

The Wanna-Be Home-wrecker

2010-02-27T23:17:00.000-08:00

Some woman is spreading lies on the Internet that she's sleeping with my husband.

She must by trying to give herself an ego boost or something because she said he was with her sometime this week...When?! He hasn't left my side for a second. I never respond to this garbage. It's not worth acknowledging. It's pathetic really. What's with all the negativity?! Why does there always have to be someone trying to bring you down when things are fine? The evil lie itself doesn't bring me down; but the fact that some unknown is trying to bring pain or doubt into my life does. The worst part about it is that it always seems that the nastiest things that are done, are by women, to women. I thought we had ladies had some sort of sisterhood going on here, but apparently NOT. Her comment's are not worth acknowledging, so I don't.

My question is why?!?! WHY? Why would you say something about someone you don't even know like that?

That just goes to show there are evil conniving people living amongst us. I hate to call women derogatory names because enough of that goes on even when it's undeserved. I can think of a couple though, that would describe this wanna-be home-wreker just fine. Well I'm tired and annoyed so that's all I'm going to say tonight. I'll continue this rant tomorrow. Lets hear some stories along this same vein from the other hockey wives. Feel free two share your experiences in the comment section below.

Night!

HW

The key to loving your man, is to love yourself more : )

2010-02-26T21:58:00.000-08:00

Marie send me an email today, as she is trying to decide whether to follow her dreams of going to university, or to put her relationship first, and to follow her man straight out of highschool.

This is my advice to her:

Marie,

It sounds like your boyfriend is quite the catch, it fact, he sounds a lot like mine. ; )

What you have to remember though, is that you're an even BETTER catch. What we women have to remember is that in life, in so many ways we are treated as if we are inferior to men. We live in changing times, yet we are still paid less for the same jobs; called derogatory names for committing the same sexual acts, and are not able to live as independently, safely, or as carefree as them. That being said there are some places in our lives where I believe that it is ESSENTIAL that we are put FIRST, almost as if, to compensate for all the other aspects in our lives where we are slighted. I believe we should be cherished in our homes, and our romantic relationships. We, as women, NEED to show others close to us, that we love ourselves in order to set a standard of how we should be loved.

Therefore, I stand by the advice I gave you last night to follow your dreams. If your relationship is meant to be, and if you love each other as much as you feel you do, your mutual love and respect will conquer the loneliness, doubt, and heartbreak that coincides with a long-distance relationship.

You are most likely in your early twenties...am I right? And he loves you for the fantastic and accomplished young woman that you are. In five years from now, when he has grown into an amazing man who play in the NHL, you want to be the best full grown woman you can be right? You want to feel like his equal in life, don’t you? You have some growing-up left to do and you have some things that you owe yourself...because you love and respect yourself. In other words: if you want him to put you first, you have to put yourself first right now. Sometimes we women are faced with difficult decisions that we don't want to make, but we do it for ourselves and for the men we love.....he might not appreciate it now, but if it works out between you and him, he definitely will when you flourish in to the fantastic, brilliant and even more beautiful superwoman that you are destined to be. : )

DON'T stifle your growth, because you haven`t reached your potential yet. At seventeen, I was mature and thought I was as good as I was going to be....turns out I matured a lot.

No matter how much you love him and how good he is to you right now...If things don`t work out for you two, you will have the potential to do better...or at least just as good in both your future relationships as well as in your future career. What I’ve learnt in my 25 years of life is that one can have many great loves. My high school sweetheart for instance, was perfect in every way. He was hot, funny, loving, smart, and thoughtful.

I decided to go away to school after my senior year because I knew that would be best for me. We stayed together throughout University, we made it work and I wouldn`t have done anything differently. However, by the time my last semester came along, I realized I just wasn`t ready to commit to him for the rest of my life. I was 20 yrs old, I had only ever been with him; and even though I loved him more that I loved myself, I needed to be absolutely sure that he was the one for me before committing to him forever. We decided to take a break and I felt confident with our decision, even though it was the hardest thing I ever did. I believed (and still do) that if we loved each other as I thought we did, that it was right to go our separate ways to figure things out and if it was meant to be, we would end up together in the end.

Where all this blabering brings us in your quest to make the decision that is right for you is: Go with your instinct. But be sure you do not sell yourself short for fear that you will lose your love. I believe you should not sacrifice your educational opportunity or University experience! You will never get this back. It`s just not the same when you are older and I think it is an essential period of growth in your life. When someone loves you, they help and encourage you to become the best person you can be. Remember that! True love will prevail!

How can a woman be 'sane' when she's crazy in love?

2010-02-25T19:53:00.000-08:00

A question asked by a fellow HW this week was: How in the world do you stay sane living the lifestyle that I live????????

My answer is...Did I say I was sane? If I gave this impression in any of my posts, I apologize, because to describe myself as ‘sane’, would be inaccurate. It would mean that I have absolute control over my mental state and the emotions that coincide...Hhahaha...

Living the life I live is not normal or simple by any means. To an outsider this is often the type cast given to all Hockey wives: The kept woman, without a care in the world.

In my reality, this couldn’t be further from the truth. Life for me can be: unbalanced, trying, and stressful; therefore, at times I find myself: unbalanced, at my wits end, and stressed out. Between grad school, being away from family and friends, my hubby being on the road fifty percent of the season, and mean people writing untrue things about us...things sometimes gets crazy.

The truth is, no matter how hard I try to be superwoman, I'm not. I'm not perfect and I don't have it all together and the last thing I want is for any of you to think I do, because that would defeat the purpose of me having an outlet like this blog, where I can just be 'real' and have someone listen and it be okay. Cause in real life, there's only so much of "the truth" that people want to hear. They've got problems of their own.

If there’s one thing that I know is an absolute and true in this world, is that love concurs all. I’m not perfect and sometimes I can act irrational, erratic, and insane, because of the instability in my life; but there is one thing that will always stay strong, stable and unchanging. No matter how nuts life gets or how loony I become, I find sanity, faith and strength in the love that my husband and I have for each other.

I am thankful for our crazy life with all its imperfections and wouldn’t have it any other way; because I believe that individuals have to pay in hard work and suffering for life's jewels. When you think about it, it could be a hellavah-lot worse and I recognise we are blessed.

And yes, we have been enjoying some time off together : )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEQj6RrQbgA

To sacrifice or not to sacrifice...THAT is the question.

2010-02-19T13:29:00.001-08:00

Here is a question I received from a reader:

Musikalme said...
Dear HW,

I stumbled on your blog a while back - it's wonderful!

I know that sacrificing for a spouse or a fiance is one thing, but I am in the awkward position of being in a long-term dating relationship. I'm a musician in the orchestral audition circuit. This is quite normal for most Music Performance majors coming out of college. However, I have NO idea where I will end up in the fall. I could be in Milwaukee, Cincinnati, Houston, or Wales (in the United Kingdom!). My significant other is in Chicago, but he's not sure where he's going to be in the fall either (his job will probably take him either to the east coast or southeastern United States). I love him very much, but I'm not sure I should throw away my potential career to follow a guy who hasn't asked me to follow him. What should I do?

If you have any insights, I'd be most appreciative!

Thanks so much for writing,
Kelsey

Hi Kelsey,

Thanks YOU for writing, it's great to get feedback from readers...

As for your question, I think the answer depends on a lot of factors: How long you two have been together; how old you are; how passionate you are about your career; what makes you happy; how much you love, and are willing to sacrifice for your man; and in turn, how much he loves, and is willing to sacrifice for you.

In my opinion, a woman can have her cake and eat it too, if she plays her cards right. It sounds like you have a pretty promising career ahead of you that you have worked hard for, and that you have the talent to succeed in it?! Is this true??? Ask yourself this question.

It sounds like you love your boyfriend very much and you miss him a lot while you are apart for work? As yourself this question...

Then ask yourself if this time apart will be permanent and/or long term; or simply for four months, and after that time, you will have more control over where you end up.

Now ask yourself if you're far enough along and deep enough into your relationship to start making adjustments and sacrifices for it. Then finally, ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot: would he sacrifice for you???

Who's career out of the two of you is the most flexible? Does he HAVE to be in Chicago, or would he be able to find work in his field in another state or on a work Visa in Europe? We are living in a modern society and no man should feel ashamed to follow his partner, if that's what works best for you two to be together.

Have you two had a discussion about this or related topics? If not, maybe you should ask him, to get a feel for where he stands and then you can figure out a plan together. Ultimately though, if he loves you, he will leave the final decision up to you. Because what makes you happy, should make him happy. And if you want to keep your job, he should be proud of you!

Now ask yourself if there's some way you can make time for both your career and your boyfriend in your life. You could be a Superwoman and do both!

I think the best way to make the decision that will make YOU the happiest (because that's your end goal right?) is to evaluate all your answers to the questions above and to see what you come up with.

From the sounds of things, you have a great career ahead of you and I think you should give it a chance to flourish a little before you forfeit it. You don't want to have any regrets or resentment later on in life. I think every woman should be confident in the fact that she is capable of taking care of herself before she let someone else do it for her...you know what I mean. You want to keep the power structure equal, so he respects you and that you respect yourself. I often remind my man that I don't NEED him, I WANT him. ; )

My husband and I have done long-distance in the past, and a little bit of time apart, can make or break a relationship in my opinion. I understand when it's for a year at a time, that it's a lot much more taxing, but it can be done. I know many couples in the hockey world, who do it on a yearly basis, and they are very happy with their choice.

Ultimately, the decision that usually first comes into your head, that you don't feel any hesitation about, is usually the best decision. Give it some time, take it day by day, and you will stumble upon what's right for you two eventually.

In the mean time, plan for the worst and hope for the best. : )

HW

Life changes in the Hockey world...

2010-02-13T12:07:00.000-08:00

I received a question regarding what it’s like for a proud Canadian woman like me to transition her whole life for her husband’s career by moving to new country. My answer is this: Like any major life change; the unknown is scary, but if it feels right it usually is. There is nothing more foretelling than a woman’s intuition. So I usually follow mine.

Last year, my hubby was signed with the NHL team in the city I lived in, but when he was sent down to another city, we did the long distance thing for the majority of the year.

This year, he was traded. I came to the conclusion after some long and serious contemplation; that I didn’t love my job with all my heart the same way he would bleed for his. So we decided or, I did, (because he would have supported me in whatever I would have chosen to do) that my job wasn’t worth keeping us apart for virtually 8 months out of the year. Life is just too short in our opinion. We are happiest together, so we try to be that more often than not.

I applied to back to school, (I actually applied the January prior) to a program that allows me to work remotely if need be(I do need to be on campus once a semester). This gives us more liberty than if I was needing to make it to class everyday and if he had to go play for a different team. Grad school tends to be better with the independent work than a bachelors degree.

Quitting my job (because it was quite a good one for someone my age) was difficult, but it felt right and I doubt I would have ever had the opportunity to do my Masters if I would have continued on the path I was on. Once you pick up speed in one direction, especially career wise, it’s hard to put aside your comfortable salary to pick up the books again. Especially when you’re the main earner and your hubby just goes to work for fun. Hahaha...jk

But really, the decision to follow him and let go of the life I had built up for myself wasn't that easy, I was worried that I was giving up my independence or a piece of myself in order for us to be together. At that point in my life, what I did (meaning my job) in a sense defined who I was. In some ways, what I do still does define me. But I feel accomplishment and pride in my schoolwork and relationship which is different then from working full time.

As for giving up my financial freedom, this was another issue of concern for me. Now that I have access to all his accounts, what's his is mine and what's mine is mine...haahaha. But really, I have never had to ask for money from anyone, so it worried me to have to feel like I needed to ask him if I needed money for something. I've worked since I was 11 years old, delivering 45 papers by 5:30 every morning and typical restaurant jobs throughout my youth. Even during my Undergrad, I worked and supported myself so it's strange for a woman who has worked all her life to feel as if she's being taken care of. It wasn't the lack of a cheque coming into my name that concerned me, it was the fact that without this, I would feel likes less of his equal, like less of a contributor. Well keeping that in mind, I set out and applied for scholarships and grants a plenty; and as it turns out, I haven't needed much assistance from him...thus far. I've treated my education like a full time job and it has paid off literally.

With regards to the relocation issue, for a woman of my age, I’ve lived a pretty full and independent life on my own before meeting my man. I’ve lived in just about every Province, and on 3 Continents, so, I’m fairly comfortable with living in new places, re-adjusting and the like. I find happiness in my heart rather than in my surroundings, I’m pretty easy to please.

There's still something to be said about this hockey lifestyle that is different from the regular relocation for a job. It’s the instability that coincides with the career that is often times unavoidable and out of a players hands no matter how talented they are. The volatility within the career of a professional athlete will never change. Things are fluid, always changing, in constant flux. But isn’t that the same with every element of life? For those living this, or a similar life style, we understand that it’s just normal life, at a faster pace and with bigger risks. But that’s how we choose to live.

I would rather hit the lowest lows attempting for the highest highs then to be safe and have a monotone existence with regrets of what could have been. Him and I are like minded in that sense, which is why we made the choices we did. Don’t get me wrong, our life isn’t always peaches and cream. It can be trying, tiring, and lonely...but life is hard for everyone to varying degrees. We both want to know in the end, which God knows, could be tomorrow (for any of us) that we did (or at least tried to) do everything we ever wanted to.

Soup and Salary

2010-02-10T23:03:00.000-08:00

LADIES!

How I've missed my time alone with my keyboard, my thoughts, and you: my secret friends who listen to my bitching... I've missed the catharsis blogging brings to my life. I am literally getting a shrill of excitement going up my spine as I start to write. ..It's good to be back....Hopefully from now on I can make the time to do this consistently. It's good for me.

Life, as of late, has been insane to say the least. I'm currently on a trip with two of my girlfriends from back home (if you're wondering: no, they don't know about my blog). As for the rest of the time I’ve been MIA from the site, I've been working at my internship (which is hopefully leading to a job) and doing lots of school work. Life has been so so busy; I have barely had time to sit alone and think, let alone write about what I think.

All is good though, I got my grades back from last semester and I have an 84% average... That's pretty darned good for a woman who's far from brainiac status. I worked my buns off, and I've got the trascript to proove it.

I'm not the only one who's been working hard. My man's been training, traveling, and playing more and better than usual, which is great for him, but hard on us. We're both tough though, and we're even stronger as a unit so...things are coming up roses for us as a couple at the moment.

I've had a bit of a dry spell with writing, so if you wouldn't mind flooding my inbox with ideas of what you want to hear about, that would make the blogging process flow a little easier.

As for right now, I've got a little something on my mind that annoyed me tonight and I feel the need to write about it...

So here I was, having the most delicious squash soup of my whole life, out at a classy restaurant with some classless people. My good girlfriends from childhood invited some of their friends who are from the city we are visiting.

I thought to myself, Great! (Don't get me wrong,I'm a friendly person) I can chat with anyone really, so in my mind the more the merrier...this wasn't the case. I guess it had come up in a previous conversation between my friend and one of the women who joined us, that my husband plays hockey.

The woman thus felt the need to perch herself next to me where she could pin me into the corner all night and berate me with questions about my husband. I could tell my friend was embarressed of her guest. I'm used to this now. Although it still annoys me when people I don't know that well ask me a million and a half questions about him, I know that's part of his job and part of my role as his partner. Some people really push it to the limits though...It seems as if, for some fans, when it comes to asking questions about athletes, their manners go out the window!

SO tonight I was fine with answering all her questions until... my pet peeve entered the conversation...the dreaded salary question. It's pretty much a deal breaker for me. You could be the nicest, coolest person I’ve ever met; but if you bring that up, I have a change of heart, I just can’t help it. The dreaded salary question... I don't know what it is...people seem to ask so many personal questions not much surprises me anymore. But that one question, never fails to hit me like a ton of brick is: "So how much does he make anyway"?!?

After some thought about it tonight back in my hotel room...I'm even more confused about what upsets me most about it. Is it that the person I am potentially becoming friends with cares about how much money we have in the bank? Or is it the fact that they are appraising my worth as a friend aka what they think they can get out of us, based on my husband’s annual income...Either way, it hurts and it’s a sore spot for me.

The funny thing is, I didn't know my husband’s salary until we bought our house. I would never ask such a question, to anyone! For a dead-door stranger to sit there tonight and to have the audacity to ask me what our bank statement reads!?!

It's comical when I think about it too much, but really, when a lady who is married to say: a bankers, a plumbers, a lawyers, or a teachers is asked this by someone they just met, its bound to irk you, right? Or am I just crazy here?!

I just got off the phone with my man and told him what I was writing about, and was surprised to hear he has never been asked about his salary!!!! Weird...I get it quite often and I never know what to respond.

I really have to come up with a clever rebuttal that is general enough to use on just about any inconsiderate SOB who's rude enough to ask it. The girl tonight made me want to ask if she'd trade a secret for secret... I was willing to tell her how much he makes, if she’s willing to tell me if her breasts are real...scratch that, I already knew the answer. ; ) Or maybe I should just tell whoever asks to go look it up on the Internet...I mean really, that would save them the awkward question, and me the embarrassment of having to answer it.

The Rants of a Hockey Wife

2010-01-15T13:53:00.000-08:00

I can be such a bitch.

Any woman in a long-term relationship can relate to this unprompted bitchy-ness I feel today. It’s not PMS, it’s just been a long month for us, for me especially, it feels like. Sometimes I take it out on him, I admit it. After all, if he would have just gotten himself a regular job, my life wouldn’t have to be flipped upside-down. I know this is all very selfish thinking on my part, but sometimes I think it’s legitimate because isn’t it selfish of him to ask me to drop everything for his dreams? I can hear his rebuttal now, "I never asked you to give up your dreams"...well what I am I supposed to do? Be home missing him in Canada and waiting for him for eight months of the year? If you ask me, a woman who has done the long distance thing for 6 years of her 25 years of life, that's not living.

Sometimes a woman just has to vent; and when her man is practically the only person in the city she knows well enough to pour her little heart out to, then it’s understandable that she bitches about him, to him, right?

We had a bit of a discussion last night. It was mainly me trying to fight and him taking the higher road. He's a master at defusing situations with jokes. It pisses me off more really, when he cracks jokes and makes me smile when I WANT TO BE MAD AT HIM!

Anyway, the discusion was basicly regarding the fact that if I follow him during the season, he should follow me for the sake of my career, during the off season. He had agreed to this a couple months back, but as the summer months are quickly approaching it seemed last night as if he was changing his tune when the topic came up in the conversation. Anyway, I’m standing my ground on this one, it’s only fair (I hope he's reading this today). After all, hockey doesn’t last forever and when it’s time for me to work again, I won’t be messing around. I want to do something that I’m passionate about, and I want to make descent money doing it. If you want it all, like I do, some sacrifices need to be made. I know this all too well with his career. We’ll see what I’m offered first, before we really get into this topic.

I was really looking forward to these few days off that I have between the end of my first semester and my internship, but as it turns out, all my plans have been foiled between my man on the road for practically the entire month, and in the past two weeks, two out of my three wife friends have been ‘traded’ to other teams (the Swedish family from across the street being one of them) : ( Alas, it is a lonley life for us. We had planned for weeks to go out to a sports bar in town tonight to watch the game over some beers, but our party of five has now been cut down to two.

Well, I’m headed out to the mall for a bit here...I have to try and get rid of some of my boredom. I might have to make a trip home to Canada soon (after my internship of course) because I’m restless and in need of some female company. I miss my friends and family.

HW

Hockey Wife's top rated -- Hot Products

2010-01-14T16:02:00.000-08:00

Moving along in the same vein as yesterday’s post; although my husband does not expect me to be perfect, many of his fans do. The truth is, whether there is more substance to us hockey wives than just our looks, to many hockey fans, this is the only quality they get close enough to base their opinions on.
From the harsh and sometimes crude comments posted about us wives on the internet, to the outright disrespect we endure from strangers as they shamelessly attempt to flirt with our significant others in our presents (no joke, it happens). There is pressure that many wives feel to look their best when out in public.
So without further adieu, I’ve compiled a list of my favourite beauty products that help me look my best even when the jumbo-tron zooms in on me with my mouth hanging open....okay, the products don’t really help with that... ; p

Skin Dior Hydra Action – Creme Sorbet, Hydra Action – Masque Intensif:
Even if you choose to never wear an ounce of make-up, ensure that you find a moisturizer that is appropriate for your skin type and use it, morning and night. This well help to prevent wrinkles. Start this regime as soon as humanly possible. For all those 20 year olds who think they will forever look as good as they do now, you'll be thanking me in about 20 years when all your friends are developing their first little wrinkles and your still as smooth as a baby's butt!

Pro-X sunscreen: As a porcelain and proud of it lady, I especially need to be extra protective of my sensitive skin. I think sunscreen is good for all skin types though, as it has been proven ensure I wear sunscreen everyday. This will also help prevent wrinkles.

Vitamin supplements: Vitamin D, Fish oil Omega 3, and a female "one a day" multi-vitamin: If you want healthy hair and skin, you have to get it from caring for it from the inside. Unless you spend every waking day of your life, planning your meals perfectly to ensure vitamin intake through food, you won’t be getting all that you need to be at your optimum health. If you're healthy on the inside, you’ll look healthy on the inside. Trust me, the fish oil in particular, will make your hair and skin feel like silk.

Hair Shampoo and conditioner -- Kerestase: Ladies, I know its pricey, but soooo worth it.

Elchym hair dryer: If you get only one thing on the list, make sure it’s this hair dryer. It will dry even the thickest hair in an instant and it can make even the curliest hair blow-out sleek, with the help of a round brush of course. You’ll be able to throw you straightening iron out the window!

Hairspray:
L’anza Healing Hair Care: Healing Volume
If you have relatively flat hair but want voluminous movie star-esque hair, take small section of the crown of your hair, layer by layer and back-comb lightly with three strokes spray and blow-dry the roots upwards, repeat.

Any other ideas of what you would like to hear about, please shoot me an email and let me know!

HW

Falls from Grace

2010-01-12T14:07:00.000-08:00

There comes a time in every relationship when your partner finds out the truth: that in fact, you're not perfect.

As my man and I sat down for our first official date, I had never felt so awkward. It wasn't self-doubt or insecurity that brought on this feeling; instead it was the nervous vibe he was emanating. Strangely, the more I felt his shy yet flirtatious aura, the more I was attracted to him. I blabbered on nervously as we sat and ate our supper by candle light. I tried to crack jokes to break the tension and he laughed at them, or me (I wasn't sure which at the time). My comedy show came to a halt in the instant that his sexy grin transformed into an intense gaze that locked on me. My chatter ceased and I asked him what was on his mind.

His answer: "You're perfect".

His words caught me off-guard. I blushed, but didn't respond. I was too busy analysing what he had just said. WHAT did he mean by this???? I felt at once, empowered and insecure. In his eyes, I could see that I had him. I hoped that my overwhelming feelings for him, were not as outwardly obvious as his for me. We had only just met, and my bashfulness and non-stop chatter had impeded me from showing him the best I had to offer. As a women who still envisions herself as a brace-faced, glasses wearing, pimply teenager; my stomach churned nervously.

Don't get me wrong, even in my uglier days; I was confident of the person I was/am intrinsically. In hindsight, I should have interpreted his comment to imply: "I think you're pretty" or "I like you" but, from that moment on, I felt the pressure that I had some big, or more aptly, ‘perfect’ shoes to fill. The funny thing is, the harder I tried to emulate perfection, the more it seemed I was the opposite. Below are my favourite memories, of how my man discovered the truth about me:

On the eve of our second date, he ‘pulled some stings’ and borrowed the keys to the arena off his trainer, so we could have a private midnight skate! I had always loved gliding around on the ice as a kid, and being a girlie-girl, I am quite good on figure skates. Unfortunately, the blades he borrowed on my behalf, were little boys hockey skates. Those of you who have donned a pair of these, know how different they are from figure skates. Instead of having a long ski-like edge with breaks spikes on the front, they have a rocking-chair like curve that is difficult to balance on. While my man pirouetted like a character from Disney on Ice; I whipped around the rink like a clown trying to keep up. I had a couple big spills, but I was too proud and determined to make him think I was perfect, to accept his romantic gestures to help me. That night, he developed an inkling that there were some things (skating for instance) that I had not yet perfected.

The first time he invited me to his house, I baked him brownies (that's how much I liked him). The entrance way of his place is open concept and hardwood. As I carried the brownies in one hand and my purse in the other; with the first dainty step I attempted to take into his home, I began to hydro-plane. I had on pair of heels, and the snow from his driveway had formed a sheet of ice on the sole. The fall was dramatic. It seemed to happen in slow-motion yet so fast that there was nothing I could do to recover. As I lay sprawled out on his beautiful floor, with brownies littering my resting place, I was mortified. How DO you recover from something like that??? I nervously laughed as my man helped me to my feet, surely my face was beet red. To make matters worse, he had invited another couple over for dinner, so their first memory of me will forever be that fantastic tumble. To this day, they still tease me.

Shorty after my first two falls from grace, my man invited me to join him in going out with his friends. We were having a great time, and drinks were flowing freely. Being the polite person that I am, I obliged, more requests to 'cheers' than I should have. At the end of the night, a cab dropped us off at his house, and the last thought to cross my mind was something along the lines of: don’t embarrass yourself’. It was too late, the round of shots we had taken at the bar, had waited until we entered his bedroom to effect me. As he left the room to freshen-up, I vaguely remember ripping off my false eye lashes (which is something in my right mind, I would have NEVER done). Months later, he brought this story up to tease me and I had no recollection of the incident. He recounted to me that as we lay in bed together, I had rolled over and asked him with a straight face: “Have you seen my eyelashes"? As I wear falsies on a weekly basis, this was a legitimate question for me. But to a farm-boy who had once thought I was perfect...this was puzzling. Apparently he responded: “Uh, um, aren't they on your face"?! As his answer seemingly satisfied me, I rolled over in my drunken stupor and exposed my naked back to him, where he said a miniature spider-like 'hair-ball' had attached itself. Luckily, I didn’t have to confront the embarrassment of this incident until months later; otherwise I might have died.

Before our first Valentine’s Day as a couple arrived, I decided to buy some extra special lingerie (from www.agentprovocateur.com - pricey but, well worth it!). As I preformed my very best sexy dance whilst standing over him on the bed, I was getting positive feedback so I was inspired to throw a little more swagger into my shimmy. Bad idea, I lost my balance and fell off the bed and onto the floor with a thud, my legs dangling over my head. Needless to say, the jig was up, literally. He knew I wasn't perfect.

I crawled into the bed shamefully and disheartened by my many failed efforts to be perceived as perfect. As we lay there, the bruises on my back were as sore as my pride. He turned to me, looked me in the eyes, grabbed my hand, and traced a message on my palm; that until then we had never communicated to each other.

The message read: I Heart U.

Thinking back to all the mishaps that occurred over the course of the early stages of our relationship, I wondered what I had been so worried about all along. He had known the 'truth' about me from the very beginning. The truth is: I'm far from perfect, but he loves me anyway.

HW

2010-01-11T15:41:00.000-08:00

So my man just called.

His friend plays for the NBA team in our city, so we're going to watch his game. I've never watched basketball before. As long as I get a hot dog and a beer, I'm sure it will be fun. It will be good to spend some quality time with my partener as it feels like we've been living separate lives for the past few weeks.

I've been working on a post, but I've gotta get gussied up right now!

Later!

HW

Short Break

2010-01-09T11:58:00.000-08:00

Hi Everyone,

Sorry if I have disappointed anyone, but I have decided to take a two day break (today and tomorrow) in order to focus on finishing up this last paper (of this semester) for Grad school. I wouldn't want to post unless had the time to make it worth reading. Therefore, please check back for daily updates starting on Monday January 11th. In the mean time, feel free to start your own conversations in a tread amongst yourselves in the comments section under this post.

Thanks for understanding,

HW

In Response to the Fan Letter Posted Below:

2010-01-08T20:57:00.000-08:00

Hi Stephanie,

Thanks for taking the time to write such a kind, open, and honest letter. I enjoyed reading it and its great to see another woman who is finding success in the blogging world! Your sites are great and I even decided to follow your "for the ladies blog".

Albeit, I have no clue when it comes to the actual game, they ain't hard to look at are they? ; )

The fans are a huge part of the game in that they are the hand that ‘feeds’ the professional hockey players and their families. I know I can speak for all the wives in saying thank you for being so supportive of the sport and its players.

I didn't create the blog for just the hockey wives, I made it for the hockey community so I am very happy you wrote to me. I think what you said about the site creating a better understanding of the human side of hockey lives hit the nail on the head. Creating a more pleasant existence between the fans and the families, while breaking down stereotypes is the exact reason I created the blog. I was sick of feeling like I was less capable or had less credibility because of what my husband does. It was time that someone stood up for the wives. We are often underestimated and judged. As I’ve said before, his job does not define the person I am, but when I married him, I committed to stand by him in this lifestyle.

Thanks for “listening”,

HW

Lovely letter from Miss Hockey Fan

2010-01-08T13:36:00.001-08:00

Hey HW,

I LOVE YOUR BLOG (it's an AWESOME concept)!!!!

I just stumbled across it, but I must admit, (if I want to be true to myself as a person, fan, and blogger who also lives / writes OPENLY) by browsing through the "Talk Sports" message boards ... WAIT - before you delete my email ... PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN!! ; P

I am in NO WAY a stalker ... I just LOVE the sport of hockey and the men who play it and like every other hockey fan on the face of this earth, am quite interested in learning the "human" side of them and the people in their lives (so that I can somehow relate ... it's very comforting to know that all of you are no different then anyone else, you know?!)!!! I only go to those message boards in order to see what the current talk is and for some great pics ... I'm not by any means lethal -- in other words, I am in no way out to ruin the lives of hockey players or their significant others by spreading vicious rumors or lies. I'm just trying to have fun enjoying the sport I love with a blog that isn't like any other (creating friendships by the feelings, emotions, observances, love of hockey that all of us women (and a few men) share).

With all of that said, I have ALWAYS been curious about the "hockey life" and how it all works, so your blog is something that I am very excited about reading.

I write this with 100% honesty (so I hope you don't think I'm some kind of a weirdo!)!!! I'll say it one last time, I'm a gal who LOVES the sport of hockey and the players and I find the whole thing quite interesting.

I REALLY appreciate what you're doing (and hope you can feel the same about me and my blogs - I have two actually, one serious and one "not-so-serious" - I'm a Pittsburgh Penguins gal through and through, but I enjoy all hockey / teams / players!)!!!

I hope we can be friends on a blogger level at least (maybe work together on some posts, perhaps) and I wish you luck with your new blog ... it's been amazing so far!! My "Hockey for the Ladies" blog has an abundance of followers and if you're looking for new traffic, that would definitely help out in that respect. I'm sure there are other fans out there who would appreciate that side of hockey.

OK -- I made this longer than I ever planned to, but I hope to hear back from you -- I'm looking forward to it (and your thoughts)!!

Thanks for allowing me to "explain!" ; P

Stephanie

Lean but not Mean

2010-01-07T12:14:00.000-08:00

I ate a piece of cake for breakfast this morning...

Surely I’ve just appalled at least 50% of my readers with that admission. I don’t feel guilty though, not one bit. When you work hard to stay lean and fit; you have to treat yourself every once in a blue moon, without an ounce of guilt if you are to maintain a healthy lifestyle for the long haul.

I wasn’t always thin. It’s been a battle of Will vs. Want, learning how to manage and then stabilize a healthy body weight. But now that I’ve figured it out. I never feel like healthy eating and working-out are chores. I`m happy to do these things because I know they’re good for me. And once I saw results, I’ll never go back.

As Kate Moss, the queen of lean, (albeit, not necessarily of health) once said: “Nothing tastes better than being thin”. In my opinion, she’s right and often, I need to remind myself that.

Below I have compiled a list of my personal trick and tips for those of you who are interested in knowing the ways I maintain a lean and healthy weight (because one doesn`t automatically equal the other).

Fitness Journal: As a lover of technology, hence the blog, the best tool to keep me on track if I ever feel like I need to lose a couple pounds is: www.fitday.com It's a FREE online fitness and food diary that not only allows its users to track their progress; it allows them to see "the calories in calories out" process of their weight loss progress. What I mean by this is that: if you want to lose that tummy and or those love handles, the only way to do this is, by burning more calories than you consume in a day. I know it’s not rocket science, but it took me a while to find this out. This information was never presented to me or most other members of our society for that matter; most likely for fear that individuals would take this out of context and develop eating disorders. However, www.fitday.com allows its users to develop healthy eating habits through integrating the routing component of a healthy lifestyle, while supplying its users with information regarding: nutritional value, portion control; as well as how many minutes on the treadmill it will take to burn off that chocolate cake that was eaten for breakfast : P

I love this site ladies and I hope you will too. Other tricks that I have incorporated into my daily routine are:

Portion control: is a huge factor for me. I eat all types of food, I never deny myself if I want a little treat now and then, but if I’m going to have one of those big pretzels at the arena, I`ll either share it with a friend or eat half.

Oatmeal: They say breakfast is the most important meal of the day so everyday, I have really great coffee with a splash or milk (not healthy really), a pack of plain/regular instant oatmeal, a women’s multi vitamin and an omega 3 fish oil pill. If I ever feel like I want more than that its not because I am hungry, its because I like the act of eating, a lot. If I'mm hungry in an hour from then I can snack if need be. Please note that weekend breakfasts vary : )

Snacks and Raw foods: In my opinion, the best thing you can do for your body is to do what the animals do: graze all day. It`s better to have six small meals than to have three large ones. Things, like yogurt, apple sauce, salads, a folded over sandwich (one piece of bread), vegetable based soups (try anything by progresso), rice cakes (see what the serving size is on the pack though) and protein shakes. Healthy food I eat throughout the day is more varied than this but that list is off the top of my head.

Supper: My partner and I love to make lean, healthy and delicious dinners together, but that will have to be a whole other post for sure.

A healthy lifestyle has always been important to me but more so now that I've found the man of my dreams. I want to be around for many years to come and I want to look good doing it! ; )

I would love to hear tips and tricks from the rest of you ladies out there, so feel free to comment below or to shoot me and email!

-HW

Another Letter from another Lady

2010-01-06T16:37:00.000-08:00

Hi there!

I found your blog by doing what I'm sure most girlfriend/wives do... "stumbling" upon their guy's girlfriend forum. It came up on my boyfriends, so curiosity got the best of me. And am I ever glad it did! What a great idea! It's really fun to check up on your posts every now and then. My guy and I have been doing the long distance thing (again) since the season started in September... And reading this every now and then reminds me there are a lot of people in the same place- or who have been in the same situation. Helps (a little) with the heartache :). I'm in the middle of getting my degree right now, back where we are both from- in Canada, but I am lucky enough to visit quite often!

I just HAD to comment on your "Weirdness of Pre-Game Rituals". It is so funny and so true! My man is fairly laid back as well, but of course insists on doing the exact same thing on game days. And I laughed when you wrote: "I've heard that some of the players are so superstitious, that they for instance, always tie one skate before the other or small things like that." .... That would be players like my boyfriend. Haha, always right before left. His dad will call him, just to remind him: "right before left". Also, the pre-game pastas..... I play a sport for my University, so I like to exercise- when I am back home. I learned the hard way that girls eating 2 pounds of pasta, then napping (later than him because he leaves to the rink early... leaving us to nap for an extra hour, haha)... is an excellent way to gain 4 pounds in two weeks. Woopsies! So I wish your blog came out when we first started dating... then I could have started with the soups and salads ;).

I also have kind of a weird (somewhat personal) question. Did you live with your husband before you got married/engaged? The reason I'm asking is, just from reading your posts, you seem to have a lot of similarities (both you and your husband) with me and my guy. We're fairly young, but very in love! And he has said already he wants to be married as soon as I get my degree, and I do 100% too. But, he asked me to live with him this summer. We've never 'actually' had a place together. I'm just curious if you guys did that our if you waited? I know everyone is so different, so I realize this is kind of a weird question. I have just heard a lot of stuff and 'statistics' that say living together before you are married is a bad idea. I'd love your input on this!
Thanks for all the time you're putting into this! Keep it up!

But now I think you should be working on your paper, no? ;)

Thanks again!

GB

Buddha, Jesus, and Allah

2010-01-06T08:52:00.000-08:00

Today I’m thanking Buddha, Allah, and Jesus... I finally got my period.

I flew home for the first two weeks in December for school and my luggage was lost for 3 days! This was the first time anything like this had ever happened to me by the airlines so; I didn't think twice when I packed my birth-control pills in my main luggage...big mistake.

Uhhh...Sweetheart: If you’re reading this, Pfffffft...I wasn’t worried! :-S

But seriously ladies, he and I haven’t been married for a year yet and although we are of age, in wedlock, and financially capable of supporting a baby; between his work schedule and my Masters program, taking care of a child to boot would be insane!

I am in awe of the wives I sit with at the rink who are 5 years my junior, and who are at each and every hockey game in support of their husbands; and make it look easy, almost stylish as they concurrently: keep their babies happily bouncing in their laps, while socializing with the other wives, as they are casually drinking a beer, whilst texting their girlfriends back in their hometowns, and somehow managing to catch every play of the game...

Now you tell ME who’s more talented: the guy holding his stick, or the super woman in the stands? ; ) Haha..... I make myself laugh... But it’s all true, not even an exaggeration.

To look at the bigger picture though, a lot of these women have been with their partners for many years already, so after marriage, babies are the next logical step. The on the road lifestyle is definitely something I am VERY slowly getting used to though. I’m finding it quite the adjustment with just him and I in the house. At the moment, I just can’t imagine what it would be like to be left alone for a week in a city, far from any of my social support networks, with a little baby screaming his/her lungs out for days on end.

Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE children. This year more than ever, I’m feeling maternal urges that I’ve never before experienced. My brain has to beat down my heart to keep me in check because; Buddha, Allah and Jesus all know that I am too weak of a woman (just yet), to take on such a responsibility.

If it were to happen though, I would be so happy (we would be so happy) I just know it. : ) I watch him with his nieces and nephews and I melt. It’s just, for now, it's very nice to be able to focus on us during these initial stages of our marriage.

Eventually though, if things continue to go well for him, child rearing in this vagabond-esque environment, will have to become part of our lifestyle. I guess I should start taking notes from those talented wives at the rink so, that one day when the time is right for us, I will be able to mother while multi-tasking as proficiently as they do.

HW

The Weirdness of Pre-Game Rituals

2010-01-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

I have to admit, I'm a little down today. My man left for road games...again...in the middle of the night, and will be gone for most of the week. You'd think I'd be used to it by now.

I've been on both ends of a long distance relationship and when it's me leaving for school for a couple of weeks, it feels a heck of a lot shorter than when he leaves for two nights... Weird I know, it's just you notice it less when you're the one in the unfamiliar environment.

He took me out on a date last night which was fun. We had a nice steak dinner, not far from where we live, and we went and saw that movie 2012 (it was a flop, so don't waste your money). When we came home, I showed him the progress I've made thus far on the blog. Lots of people have asked if he knows about it. Of course I ran it by him before I started it, since it IS about us. We are open and honest about everything so this is no different. He's supportive of everything I do, and if connecting with all of you adds value to my life, then he's happy. If I know him, he'll be checking this via black-berry to keep an eye on me...He's always on that thing.

Now he's gone and I'm left alone with half of a 15 page paper worth half of my final grade staring me in the face. I'm nearing the end of my semester and its like pulling teeth trying get this done.

I've received a couple questions with regards to pre-game rituals via email, so I thought I'd talk a little about that:

The first time I ever whent to see a live sports game, was to see my partner play, so needless to say all the ins and outs of preparing for a game were quite alien to me at first.

My husband is a pretty easy going guy, so his game day rituals aren't too extravagant. He usually gets up early and goes to the rink for practice. When he comes home, at around noon, we usually go out for a big pasta meal. I usually have a salad or soup, since I don't work out for three hours a day like he does. ; ) When we get home he, or sometimes WE, go down for a pre-game nap. We always wait until after the game to have our supper. From what I hear, this is pretty standard for most players. They are a pretty superstitious bunch and don't often like to deviate from their schedules.

I've heard that some of the players are so superstitious, that they for instance, always tie one skate before the other or small things like that.

The guy that lives across the street from us had his whole family here from Sweden over the Christmas Holidays and would not allow his older sister to go to any of the games; because he thought that every time she had ever attended a game his team lost. One of the other players girlfriends once confided her frustrations in me of her boyfriend not wanting to be intimate with her before games. In my opinion, that's pushing it a little far... It's all in their heads if you ask me, but then I guess so is winning to a certain extent.

Anyway, that's all I know about that!

Better stop procrastinating and get my paper done.

Later,

HW