The Accidental Pharmacist

There but for the grace of god we go

2011-12-28T16:11:00.000-08:00

After a week of wonderful visits, delicious foods and presents from half the western world, we're in a post-holiday coma.

Unsurprisingly, something I struggled with this year was holiday excess. Not simply the mass-marketing excess of an over-commercialized society. Or the 'be a good citizen and buy' excess of a consumer-buoyed economy. No, this year, I was overwhelmed by all the privileged excess bestowed on a middle class toddler on the Most Wonderful Day of the Year.

It brought me to my knees. This year, in all respects, I assumed the role of the Ungrateful Cow obsessed with the moral upbringing of my child...

No child needs to be so lucky...
No child should given everything they could ever want...
No child needs every amazing age-appropriate toy in existence...
No child should be so spoiled by so many amazing things...
No child needs this much stuff!!!

On reflection, my feelings were precipitated by two recent events: The Santa Visit and The Story of the Mother in Need.

The Santa Visit happened on Waterloo's annual Santa train ride. As we rode the rails to St. Jacob's market, Santa asked The Toddling Pea what she wanted for the holidays. She stated, matter of factly, that she wanted cake.

"Sanna, I whan cake."

And Santa, who was a little taken aback, pushed her to name a toy. Sanna, she told him, I whan a yummy toy. And what toy would that be, sweetheart? Cake, she replied.

All she wanted was cake and I was cool with that. Give the child her cake!

A week later, I heard The Story of the Mother in Need. A woman stopped in to the pharmacy to buy odds and ends for a young mother who had nothing. The mother, the woman told me, had recently escaped an abusive partner with her two young children only to find out she was pregnant again. The family was in a local women's shelter and had nothing.

I thought of my toddler who is totally untraumatized by abuse or instability and who has a warm coat and a huge loving family and a bed and food and a home. And I just felt lucky.

When the holidays came and that same toddler, who already has everything she could ever want, was given so much more I was a little sad. What is enough? How will she know what 'enough' means? I looked at all her beautiful toys, both old and new, and I picked some out for the local shelter. Our local shelter gives stuffed animals to newly displaced children and a present to each child on their birthday. I thought of the family in the shelter and I chose one of the nicest toys given to The Toddling Pea, still wrapped in plastic.

On the one hand, it seems ungrateful to give away a toy that is lovingly picked out for my child by someone who really wants her to have it. On the other hand, a lovingly picked out toy is the perfect toy for a child who has nothing.

As we approach the new year and plan for a new baby, my hope is that when our children are old enough they remember to celebrate the holidays by sharing their excesses with kinder-colleagues who have nothing.

There but for the grace of God...

Photo by Dead Air.

Tis the Season of Stuff

2011-12-05T09:36:00.000-08:00

How do you celebrate the holidays in your home? Having lived so many years in a small apartment we're attached to not being attached to stuff. We bought a small home so we wouldn't have room for stuff (or have need of stuff) and our purchases thus far have been essentials for seating and eating.

We made it through one toddler birthday relatively unscathed (thank heavens for clothing and hand-me-down toy gifts!) Now, as we face our first holiday season as people-with-more-than-one-bedroom, there's an impending claustrophobia. There's a Grinch-like pile of stuff is teetering on the top of Mount Crumpet, waiting to crash into our lives and spill out of our toy boxes.

I wasn't always so obsessed with stuff but the more I lived without, the better I felt. The less I had, the more I enjoyed the few things I actually purchased. With a toddler who burns through activities and clothes faster than a bag of goldfish crackers, it's gotten harder and harder to manage the serenity of a minimalist life.

In search of a holiday lifeline, we stumbled on some good ideas for minimal holidays that aren't too stark or Scrooge-y. Here's what we're trying out to see if we can manage the mess.

We are borrowing holiday books from the local library for FREE. Our favourites have been Merry Christmas Strega Nona by Tomie dePaola, a book about an old Italian witch who has to make a Natale feast for the village, and Three French Hens by Margie Palatini, which follows three french chickens from Paris as they befriend a poor fox in the Bronx.
This year we'll be following advice from the lovely Design Mom for Santa to bring something to wear, something to read and something to play with. And no extra gifts from mom and dad.
We're doing instead of buying. The Husband is big on holiday memories so we'll be cutting our own tree, baking our own cookies and dancing to our own christmas musical stylings on the piano.

I'm not sure if this will all work out as planned but my hopes are high. I would love it if you would leave a comment sharing your holiday traditions and ideas for cutting the stuff out of the holidays.

Photo from FeDe.

Dancing for a Cure

2011-09-25T09:42:00.001-07:00

I love, love, love this video by researchers at the Rosalind and Morris Goodman Cancer Research Centre at McGill University in Montreal.

Motivations and Inspirations for Canning

2011-09-11T17:43:00.000-07:00

Canning is a very nostalgic act for me. I grew up watching my family can jams, peaches, pears and salsa. My favourite was the raspberry jam and the little wedges of preserved fruit we mixed into puddings in January. My grandma, who had her own full pantry, also canned a mean Saskatoon berry sauce for waffles. This winter we've already stocked away dozens of cans of peaches, peach jam, apple sauce and salsa verde. When my mom visited in August she added raspberry jam to the mix.

Each year as I pull out my own jars, I'm struck by how intimidating canning is for people who didn't grow up in a Family Who Cans. I know a few people who make freezer jams but I can count my fellow canners on one hand.

If you've ever thought of canning but are intimidated by what seems like a complicated process, rest assured that it's far easier than it looks. All you need is a cookbook, which can be found at the library or your local bookstore. Now is the season to start canning applesauce, apple butters and salsa. Check out the quick how-to video below from Ball (as in Ball Blue canning jars) to get an idea of the process. I bought a kit similar to the one they are advertising at my local Canadian Tire. If you're looking for inspiration, Bernardin (as in Bernardin canning jars) has loads of recipes on their website. Another great source for ideas is the Well Preserved blog which just covered tomato sauce canning.

Happy canning!

Photo by tamaraott10

Unplugging

2011-09-08T12:55:00.000-07:00

An interesting thing has happened to me since moving to Kitchener-Waterloo. I've unplugged. Or I've been unplugged, I'm not sure which.

When we first arrived we rented a sabbatical home with no cable. Instead of a television, the family home had a stereo wired around the main floor. Every night after a long day at work, we would come home and listen to CBC radio over our dinner and throughout the evening. Whether it was the news on CBC1, the classical stylings on CBC2 or indie hits on CBC3, we really started to enjoy the peace. A piece of quiet in our long day.

When we bought our own home we decided to forgo cable. We had really started to enjoy the calm. We had also realized we could watch most shows online and the radio sufficed as a news outlet. We no longer obsessed over world disasters, crumbling economies, abducted children or near constant danger. We started to read more. I went back to playing the piano. We talked. We walked. We escaped.

As a side effect we also started to unplug from social media. Without the mindless hours in front of a television, my iPhone became less interesting. I didn't have the time to flip through Twitter or blog my innermost thoughts and feelings. I kept up with Facebook only because unplugging meant more time for keeping in touch with friends and family.

Now that the summer has ended, the crisp fall breeze is rolling in and we're in flux. We're preparing to cozy up in the cool nights and can't decide about cable. I think this also means that we can't decide about social media. Social media is an avenue to connect but it is also a means to escape. But by escaping the stresses of a media-dominated life we don't need the other escapes anymore.

So, as the fall rolls in I'm not sure if you'll find much of me here or on Twitter. In fact, if you're looking for me you may have better luck at the park around the corner from my house or in the reading nook with my toddler or sitting behind the piano knocking out some Bach or Mozart. Better yet, if you do find me, you may also find a giant smile on my face and 50% fewer lines and wrinkles.

Summer Camps

2011-08-19T07:29:00.000-07:00

This summer has been a whirlwind of writing, networking, researching and thinking up The Next Big Idea. Adding to the chaos, The Husband and I have also been neck deep in potty training and the terrible twos.

Needing a respite and Serenity Now, we've been lucky enough to stumble on the University of Waterloo's Engineering Science Quest Camp. ESQ is a not-for-profit summer program that "operates with operates with the goal of exposing children in the Kitchener-Waterloo region and beyond, to the worlds of Engineers, Science and Technology through a variety of fun engaging hands on activities."

Back in the spring, faculty members at the university were asked to volunteer with the camp. Having attended a similar camp in high school, I jumped at the opportunity (with The Husband happily on board). I vividly remembered making Vic's Vaporub in the pharmacy lab of the University of Alberta. While I'm not certain the experience pushed me into pharmacy, it certainly helped. To this day, that tiny little tub of Vic's sits in my parent's bathroom, complete with a hand-typed label from the early 90s.

The kids that we've been working with are in grades 1 and 2. Once a week we visit their summer camp and make hand cream, a simple project that could also be done at home with kids of almost all ages. Here's how you do it:

Making hand cream with kiddos

You'll need:
1 ointment jar or pill vial (ask your local pharmacist)
1 stir stick (popsicle sticks work well)
1 bottle of your favourite essential oil (e.g., lavender, orange, eucalyptus, peppermint)
1 jar of a basic unscented, hypoallergenic cream (e.g., Glaxal Base, Eucerin cream)
Food colouring

Directions: Spoon cream into the jar until it is half full. Add 2-5 drops of your favourite essential oil. Add 1-2 drops of food colouring for a light tint. Stir. Label. Done!

In our experience, the kiddos LOVE, LOVE, LOVE orange and peppermint. Each week, when they sniff the bottle of essential oil, it's guaranteed that a few will close their eyes and 'mmmmm' with delight. Lavender and eucalyptus have a stronger scent, making them a harder sell, but some kids love the novelty of the different scents. All in all, this project has been a fantastic experience, one we're sure to repeat next year.

Enjoy.

Balance

2011-06-20T11:26:00.000-07:00

In preparing to facilitate a class on mindfulness and addictions I did the Canadian Mental Health Association's quiz on work/life balance. I scored a 5 on a scale of 0-15 with 0 being total chaos and 15 being perfect serenity. My life is out of balance. In truth, I'm probably closer to being completely, totally, and absolutely off-kilter as I carry the demands of a new job, a new house, a new life and a toddler in a brand new, more-demanding-than-ever-before stage of life (mommymommymommy).

And so, today, as I prepare to review a report, a paper, a lecture, debate the merits of tile vs. hardwood and choose custom blinds, I will leave you with an observation on work/life balance by Dr. Paula Caproni. Dr Caproni is a business and management professor at the University of Michigan who is not all that convinced that we should be striving for this elusive balance anyways:

My concern is that a strategic, goal-oriented approach to life assumes that people have a great deal of choice and control over their lives despite the fact that life is rich with unpredictability, problems are often too big to control, and we are sometimes incapable of and not interested in doing more and better. Furthermore, life is dynamic rather than static, so our best-laid plans are often out of date long before they are implemented. Joys and sorrows we never predicted enter our lives without warning, and the blessings we have today may be gone tomorrow. Such turns of events do not lend themselves to planning. A strategic orientation to life underestimates the degree to which life is, and probably should be, deeply emotional, haphazard, and uncontrollable. Balance, perhaps thankfully, may be beyond our reach.

Here's to letting go of balance in the search for perfect serenity.

Photo by hickoree

Good Moms

2011-06-06T14:23:00.000-07:00

From London Momma's tumblr.

I'm so glad I found this. I saw it after walking across a sticky floor textured with hardened cereal crumbs and dried milk. Life with a toddler and a part-time stay-at-home-papa means that I've had to let certain things go. And those certain things have not been time with my family. They have been cleanliness and orderliness.

We are a mess.

Our temporary move-to-Ontario, get-a-new-job, have-too-much-on-the-go, and buy-a-new-house life is not a Martha Stewartian life. It is a chaotic, crumbs on the floor life. But a happy one.

And so, yes. I totally agree. Good moms have dirty floors, sticky ovens and happy kids. Because, as I'm learning, we have to choose what we neglect in life. And a rambunctious toddler is far cuter than a dirty oven.

happy weekend

2011-06-03T18:36:00.000-07:00

Here's some love from our life. Have a lovely summery weekend.

Get out of my head

2011-06-02T18:33:00.000-07:00

I came across this today when looking for images for my teaching slides. It's something from Beck in the song Missing. I'm curious how you would interpret this in your own life, dear reader.

Image by miss vu.

Diversity and Homogeneity

2011-05-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

For us, part of the incentive to move to Ontario was the allure of buying our Very Own House. A house where we wouldn't share walls, noises, smells and spaces with unknown and generally strange people.

We rarely minded our Vancouver neighbours. Fishbowl living can be great--you are seen as much as you see. You can watch a fairly random sample of people (people who you wouldn't otherwise meet) go through the motions of daily living.

While the best example was watching a family of 2 grow to a family of 4 (a family I never knew but for the size of the baby clothes hanging on the line outside), years of living beside a revolving door has its downside too. The year that two alcoholics moved across from us stands out as a year we heard a lot of fighting. That same year, a young family also moved next door as they struggled with employment, mental illness and custody. That year we learned that alcoholics and children are both loud when they scream for attention. That year we almost moved. The most trying year, however, was the one when we neighboured an elderly recovering heroine addict who relapsed and later died. No one knew he had passed until we smelled his body.

And we found that all this anger and sadness and tragedy can accumulate in a place, regardless of the other wonderful people around. Year after year, the grass gets a little greener on the other side. After 7 years of diverse neighbours, many in serious transition, we left behind an open, multicultural, gay neighbourhood for the lush lawns of the whitest, straightest place I've inhabited since kickin' it in rural Alberta. I guess we realized that the price of vibrancy and diversity was vibrancy and diversity. The good, bad and the ugly.

And so, in the end, what helped to sell us on our move out here was homogeneity and stability. When we were looking at the house we would later buy, the moment our elderly neighbour called herself 'new to the neighbourhood' because she'd moved there in 1988 were sold. We sold out.

So, as I shop around Kitchener for appliances and furniture and things to fill our Very Own House, I can't help but feel just like everyone else. And I can't help but question what I'll gain, but more importantly, what we'll lose.

But I haven't changed that much. I still hate strollers.

Photo by mogsterb.

Healthy Child

2011-05-18T06:37:00.000-07:00

A Wake-Up Story from Healthy Child Healthy World on Vimeo.

Here's a beautiful video for your Wednesday on the non-toxic home. It was inspired by a little one lost to cancer.

Enjoy.

Size Matters

2011-05-17T09:35:00.000-07:00

It's been almost five months since we moved to waterless Waterloo from the Wet Coast and we've only just bought our first home.

We are apartment dwellers. Snotty, uptight, high-density neighbourhood urbanites who are swimming in the sea of space out here in southwestern Ontario. In these past months, we've been renting a lovely if creaky old home near downtown Kitchener (and I'm happy to report that Waterloo's sister city is a bit of a dark horse). With a hundred year history, backyard, porch swing and the best neighbours that I've ever neighboured, this home is hard to beat.

The only downside, and for us it has been a gigantic, insurmountable downside, is that the place is Huge. Massive. Colossal. Compared to our 700 sq foot apartment, the 3 levels (not counting the basement), nooks, crannies, rooms, yard and immense pockets of air have all consumed us. Space everywhere. Enough space to get lost in most days. Too much space to clean. Too much space to maintain.

What we have here is a high quality problem.

And so, as we spent months searching all the central areas of both Kitchener and Waterloo for a home to own, we remembered what we want is a Small. What we need is Small. We remembered our minimalist roots. Where we can clean everything in 20 minutes and be out the door. Where we have only a handful of toys and they all live in one box. Where the kitchen is the heart of our home and the living room our nest.

But there was a catch. To live central we could only afford Big. Large. Three towering stories with a chance of old piping and knob and tube wiring. So, on a whim, one day we cast our net a little wider. Two kilometers was all it took.

We found it. Our home.

This June we will move into our 1100sq ft bunglow. Instead of walking the 10 minutes to work we will walk 30 minutes. Instead of walking to a grocery store, we will bike to the store. Instead of being near a favourite cafe or restaurant we will have a dozen 100 year old pine trees to visit.

We had to make a big trade-off for space. Less space. And happily, that was what we did. In the end, it turned out that our waterloo was not location but space. It only took looking for the wrong thing for us to find what we wanted all along.

How I Feel as a Mother

2011-05-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

I've seen this book popping up everywhere and it's exactly how I feel lately. Mama is tired, child. So tired. ;)

Via Cup of Jo and a million other places...

TEDxWaterloo and Vicki Keith

2011-04-16T08:00:00.001-07:00

I was lucky enough to attend TEDxWaterloo earlier this year. Of all the speakers (including Roberta Bondar and many other extrememly intelligent and innovative individuals), Vicki Keith was the most memorable. Watch and absorb her wisdom.

And here's to overcoming adversity and blowing everyone else out of the water. Enjoy.

The Internets

2011-04-15T07:49:00.000-07:00

Douglas Adams on the Internets (1999):

Everything that’s already in the world when you’re born is just normal;
Anything that gets invented between then and before you turn thirty is incredibly exciting and creative and with any luck you can make a career out of it;
Anything that gets invented after you’re thirty is against the natural order of things and the beginning of the end of civilisation as we know it until it’s been around for about ten years when it gradually turns out to be alright really.

Enjoy your weekend!

Photo from MorgueFile.com

Something to make your blood boil...or not

2011-04-13T11:04:00.000-07:00

Here's an ad from this weekend's London Free Press newspaper - it likens used cars to used women. (Hat tip to my MIL for pointing me to it).

Shocked?

Be sure to check out the supportive commentary on the Dale Wurfel dealership Facebook page. Turns out a few fans think it's a great ad and not the least bit sexual. Right...I mean, who doesn't love a used woman? Not too used though. Women are only good if they're a little bit used. Any signs of overuse or wear and tear should be a deal breaker. Or at least get you a discount. Unless you can afford better, that is...

Image via BS Free Marketing.

Our New Home

2011-02-23T09:40:00.000-08:00

University of Waterloo School of Pharmacy, by Thomas Dimson

In January, we left Vancouver and headed east to Kitchener-Waterloo. Here, I started a position as an Assistant Professor at the University of Waterloo's new School of Pharmacy. Though the University is in the sister city of Waterloo (Kitchener and Waterloo are, for all intents and purposes, the same city), the School of Pharmacy was built in the downtown area of Kitchener. An imposing structure housed within a warehouse district, the images you see on the outside of the building are from an old textbook of medicinal plants. I often hear it referred to as the 'flower building'.

In our personal lives, we're temporarily renting a century home from a lovely family on sabbatical in Toulouse, France near downtown Kitchener. We're alternatively frozen by the drafts and charmed by the character. When we first got here we swore we would never buy an old house, but now, as we're realizing that the best areas of the KW region are made up of old homes, it turns out that we may have to get used to those drafts. But hey, the upside is that we get to keep some of the charm as well.

Our first impressions are that life here is good. And sometimes it's not. The weather is snowy but it's sunny. The city is small but it's dynamic. The people seem conservative but they're friendly. Everything is close but you need a car. Essentially, KW is good but it's not Vancouver.

So, as we head into spring (please god, let us be heading into spring), we're hoping to find our earlier optimism. And who knows? Maybe this time next year I'll be saying that Vancouver is good, but it's not KW.

Which Side Do You Want Your Child to Stand On?

2011-01-14T10:50:00.000-08:00

Here's an excellent video from Penn and Teller on vaccinations (and antivaccinationism). Given all the recent attention to Andrew Wakefield and the far reaching and tragic effects of his fraudulent scholarship, a little humour can go a long way to moving the vaccine agenda forward. Vaccines need to be safe but so do our children.

Vaccine conspiracy theories do not help us and, it turns out, can blind us to conspiracies within the antivaccination movements themselves - movements that parents want to trust because they appeal to the natural and emotional side of parenting. As a parent, natural, attachment or otherwise, I feel the same discomfort that others do when I watch a health professional stick a needle in my precious child's precious little arm.

However, we live in an age when we are blessed enough to have the vast majority of our children survive to adulthood. Vaccines are, hands down, one of the most incredible discoveries of all time and should be celebrated, not vilified.

It's okay to ask questions, to show concern and to evaluate the evidence before vaccinating our children. We do not have to choose every vaccine every time or always stick to the recommended immunization schedules. However, when we do decide against a vaccine or a schedule, we should understand the real risks. We should not be lied to by antivaccination movements that claim to protect our children but instead seek to profit from our blindness. We should be given the truth and trust that the 'truth' is the closest representation of the truth available.

Our children deserve safe vaccines and the best way to find safe vaccines is to support vaccines. Not to avoid vaccines.

In the end, I want my child to stand on the side of vaccines, not paranoia. I want her to be safe and to be healthy and to not live in fear of preventable and devestating illnesses like polio, mumps or meningitis. I am not afraid that the vaccine will give her autism. I am also less afraid that she will experience a serious adverse effect from a vaccine than experience permanent damage from a preventable communicable disease.

And I also want to protect all the other mother's newborn babies whose immune systems are too young to offer any significant protection and other mother's babies who have cancer or HIV or genetic conditions that leave those babies little immunity. We are all mothers and we need to protect all children.

Finally, as a mommy-blogger, attachment parent, natural parent and all the other titles that are ascribed to mothers in the online parenting community, I am proud to say that I vaccinate my child.

So, what side do you want your child to stand on?

Sexulization of Girls in the Media

2010-12-27T17:08:00.000-08:00

Video from the Women's Media Center.

Here's a holiday musing for parents who are raising girls and parents who are raising boys to respect girls: Does the modern media that you invite into your home strengthen or weaken the person that your child will become?

Television?
     Movies?
          Magazines?
               Newspapers?
                    Social Media?

(Hat Tip to Lisen Stromberg and her article 'Lolita Redux: The Early Sexualization of our Daughters' via Blogher)

The Miracle of Breastfeeding

2010-12-24T01:32:00.000-08:00

From The Knight Life.

Miracle of Breastfeeding

Miracle of Breastfeeding 2

Extending Breastfeeding Beyond a Year

2010-12-16T14:10:00.000-08:00

Long before I was pregnant I was asked how long I would breastfeed. As a health professional, breastfeeding predates that positive pregnancy test - often by many years. In pharmacy school, you learn about the benefits of breastfeeding during the usual infant nutrition lecture. In the classroom, the immunologic and nutritional benefits are compared to modern formula offerings and the take-home message is that the Breast is Best but Formula is Fine (too).

At the time, my social group was comprised of other pharmacy students. These infant nutrition lectures made their way into our lives and became topics of conversation over drinks and late night phone calls. We'd wonder how long we'd nurse our babies, or if we would at all. One friend said she'd stop when her kids were old enough to ask for it. Another friend had no idea. And so it went, these musings on the future.

Now in our thirties, most of those friends did or are breastfeeding their babies. Most for at least a year. Most stopping or planning to stop when they go back to work. Recently, a few friends decided to continue until their babies self-wean (likely feeding until after age 2). And me?

I was breastfed for almost a year and my mom breastfed my twin brother and sister when I was four. I remember getting my mom glasses of water as she fed the twins. At the time, breastfeeding was the most normal thing in the world.

So, whenever breastfeeding questions roll around to me, I generally say something like, "I don't know, for a while." I mean, does it matter? It's just breastfeeding. If they push, I say for over a year. If they balk, I point to the World Health Organization which states that "exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond." Same goes for the Canadian Pediatric Society. In a policy statement on breastfeeding, the American Academy of Pediatrics also recommends that "breastfeeding be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired for mother and child...there is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding."

And today? I have a 15 month old baby. I have no plans to stop breastfeeding her anytime soon...

In what is often called 'extended breastfeeding', toddler nursing is a very, very different beast than infant nursing. Toddlers are fast nursers, they move around a lot, they ask to nurse, they have teeth, they eat regular food, they pull your shirt down, they play with your face when they nurse. But, they are also prone to infections (daycare, anyone?) and benefit from the immunologic benefits of breastmilk - not to mention the comfort, connection and nutrition they continue to receive from the close connection provided while nursing.

Unfortunately, it is my experience that these benefits are kept quiet. Somehow, they are outweighed by social taboo. And it is because of this taboo that people feel it appropriate to question extended breastfeeding. They are concerned because the baby can eat baby food. The baby is learning to crawl. To walk and talk. To ask for milk. Essentially, the baby is becoming a little adult and no adult should be breastfed. It is uncomfortable to look at an aware child suckling on their mother's breast. It is uncommon and culturally it is sexualized.

This post isn't about the challenges or controversies of nursing a toddler - quite the opposite. It is about the normalcy of extended breastfeeding. The perfect naturalness of feeding a small child. It is about the fact that many moms feed beyond a year, unexceptionally. And that this behaviour, this choice, is the most simple of human acts. It is not sexual, restrictive or illogical. It is natural. It is normal. It is simple. And it is a perfectly acceptable choice for as long as is mutually beneficial for mother and child.

For those that are curious about extended breastfeeding, either because you know someone who is doing it, because you plan to do it yourself, because you are doing it or because you think it may be weird but you're not sure, it helps to hear from women who have been there. And also to hear about the research that has been done showing that nursed toddlers turn out just fine. For those that wish to learn more, there is a fantastic radio documentary called "Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy" by Dr. Vanessa Lowe, a clinical psychologist, radio host, musician and mother (via Mothering Magazine - another good source for extended breastfeeding).

Breastfeeding Beyond Infancy by Knitwise Media

For more information, check out the following sites:

Kellymom on Breastfeeding an Older Infant
Dr. Jack Newman on Breastfeeding a Toddler
Le Leche League on Extended Breastfeeding

For other mothers who are breastfeeding beyond a year, check out the following blogs:

Hobo Mama Lauren Wayne
Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite
Bettina Forbes and Danielle Rigg at Best for Babes
PhD in Parenting on Child Led Weaning
Leigh at Marvelous Kiddo who lovingly was/is Nursing Two

Photo of fellow extended nurser Hobo Mama Lauren Wayne.

Cramped Quarters: Family Life in a 1 Bedroom Apartment

2010-12-10T13:21:00.000-08:00

We live in a small space - 700 square feet. Big enough to have 1 bedroom overlooking the ocean but small enough to only have 1 bedroom (albeit, one that looks over the ocean). We have lived here for five years and as we prepare to move to Waterloo, I'm reflecting on how we've survived the last 14 months as a family of 3 in 700 square feet....when so many people said we wouldn't last 6 months.

Here are the top six reasons (I think) 700 square feet has worked so well for our growing family:

I generally think other people are idiots unless proven otherwise. I also think I do everything better than everyone else.
Minimalism: Though I wish I was a gifted interior designer with an eye for minimalism, I'm not. Instead, I'm married to a half-Italian guy who wishes we had a view of olive groves (and our wall art reflects this euro-nostalgia). In lieu of an eye for flow and detail, we've followed a general rule that when something comes into our apartment, something goes out. We avoid nick nacks, get our books from the library and limit all our toys to one 3 Sprouts Organic Storage Bin (~$40). If it doesn't fit in the bin, it gets escorted out the door.
Babywearing: We didn't buy a stroller until The Pea was a few months. Instead, we bought 4 carriers that hung on the wall. We eventually chose a double Chariot (~$1000, we asked for it as a birthday/baby shower/Christmas gift). It folds flat, multi-tasks as a jogging stroller/bike trailer and can be used with more than one child. Admittedly, this stroller is too big for many standard doorways so it's not a good day-to-day stroller. It's a get out in the great-big-outdoors off-roading stroller. To fill the gap, we eventually bought a cheapo umbrella stroller a few months ago for the times we don't feel like using a carrier ($40).

Co-sleeping: Since Princess Pea's birth, we've kept her in our room. This doesn't work for everyone but it worked well for us. When she was really little, she slept in an Arm's Reach Mini Convertible Cosleeper (~$300). For the first year she napped/slept with the cosleeper either attached to the bed or sitting beside the bed as a playpen. For the last few months, she's slept comfortably in our bed using a bed rail for safety. Anticipating diaper accidents, we made sure to protect our bed with a waterproof mattress cover (~$100) and invested in an extra set of sheets.
Furniture Storage: If a piece of furniture can be used as storage it is used as storage. Our coffee table has baskets to store/hide kids books. In the first few months, our desk doubled as a change table and dresser complete with rolling plastic drawers (after that we just changed her diaper on the floor or the bed). We have bins under the bed for her old clothes. What we can't store we give to charity.
Buy it to last: For all baby items other than clothes, we try to avoid anything that doesn't have a lifespan of more than a year. Yes, a year. That means no giant baby swings, no play pens, no jolly jumpers, no equipment for making baby food, no infant walkers and no infant trampolines. For the famous exersaucer, we borrowed one for a couple months. Ditto for the Bumbo. And you know what? We survived. I know so many mothers SWEAR by all these baby items, and that's okay. But if you are like us and are living on a tight budget then you don't want to hear that you MUST HAVE A BABY SWING!!! OMG YOU'LL DIE WITHOUT A BABY SWING!!! Because, honestly, that kind of thing makes you feel like sh*t. Instead, if you are struggling with space or with a fixed income, the truth is you don't need any of this. You don't. You will find your own way to 'survive' and you will be fine.

I hope this post helps all those expecting or new parents who are looking at that their one bedroom apartment and don't know how it's going to work. We had many people tell us that we'd have to move by the time she was 3, 6, 9 and 12 months old. We had many people tell us it would never work. We also had many people feel sorry for us because we couldn't give our daughter the needed 'space' and 'stuff' that she deserved.

In the end, we've been happy with our place. If we weren't moving to Waterloo, we may have even stayed for another year or so. And we probably would've been fine. That's not to say that I'm not excited about the prospect of in-suite laundry, closet space and a second bedroom but those things are a bonus.

What I have here, right now, is all I need to be happy. And that - that happiness - is how we've survived our cramped quarters.

Leaving Home/New Beginnings

2010-11-14T12:42:00.000-08:00

It's official. We're off to waterless Waterloo.

In an epic move that will tear us away from our saline home, we are moving to the centre of Canada. There, in this university town, I will be an assistant professor at the University of Waterloo's new School of Pharmacy. I'm tasked with the job of shaping, engaging and blowing young minds and am already knee deep in plans to help change a profession in crisis (the plight of the pharmacist is another post for another time).

Meanwhile, The (traumatized) Husband is embracing the various educational opportunities offered by the city and is planning to hit the books. It turns out that he too wishes to shape, engage and blow young minds through teaching - though he's aiming for a younger generation.

And Princess Pea? What will come of our water baby in a land where seagulls are smaller, not bigger, than she is? Where dirt piles take the place of seashelled sand castles? Well, we expect her to adjust quite well to the abundance of family and yard space that awaits her in our new city. For the one thing that Vancouver lacks is the one thing Waterloo offers - affordable land.

As we prepare to move our one bedroom apartment with ocean views to a temporary sabbatical home in downtown Kitchener, we are nostalgic over everything Vancouver. Favourite coffee shops, restaurants, boutiques and watery walks. We are already missing it all.

But in the end, life goes on and so too must we. It's time to grow up. Get real jobs. Get a mortgage. Get a life. But the one thing we will never get is freshwater blood. Vancouver will always be one of our homes.

Our family photo by the fantastic Jeremy Lim.

No Child of Mine will be Contained in Five Letters

2010-10-21T20:26:00.000-07:00

"This is about my own someday daughter.
When you approach me, already stung, stained with insecurity, begging me,
Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?
I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer no.
The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be,
And no child of mine will be contained in five letters.
You will be pretty intelligent,
Pretty creative,
Pretty amazing,
But you will never be merely pretty."

-Adapted from the performance of "Pretty" by slam poet Katie Makkai, 2002

Thanks to my friend Meagen for finding this.