Covington and Co.

my view on mom shaming and comparing

2017-06-24T08:30:00.000-04:00

I think most moms have an opinion on this and pretty much every blogger has written about it. But I just wanted to share my opinion on "mom shaming" and why I can't keep up. I've only been at it 11 months now and to be honest, I'm exhausted from it.

I'm tired of worrying about if my kid "measures" up to the kid that was born the same day as him, or the kid that was born two weeks after him who is already walking.

The things my sons accomplishes are not a reflection on my parenting skills. I have to tell myself that every day. He's not, not walking because I didn't make him walk those extra 10 steps behind the musical push thing. (technical term there) He's not, not wearing 12 month clothes because I'm not feeding him all the right things.

I mean my son doesn't even have sunscreen on in this picture. How do I even know what sunscreen to put on him that won't kill him?

Whatever.

I'm going to be totally honest, getting ready to switch my son from bottle feedings to full time solid foods, FREAKS ME OUT! I feel like I'm not going to feed him right, feed him the things he should be eating, give him the right nutrition, etc. And believe me, I've looked on Pinterest and pinned 10,000,000 articles about it but it still makes me crazy. I see these "perfect" moms who grow their own food, feed their kids balanced meals on organic plates, and "organic water" (because I'm sure that is a real thing out there somewhere). I'm not going to be that mom. I'm just not. My son will eat white bread sometimes, hot dogs sometimes, cereal probably, cheese puffs, processed food, even McDonalds. It'll be ok and he will survive. Guarantee it. Maybe he wants to eat soap while you go to the bathroom.(see picture below).

My mom tells me things that I ate and did and guess what. I survived.

It never ends. The list goes on and on.

Do I use essential oils on my 11 month old, do I give him water or milk or juice, do I use Johnson and Johnson products? Don't even get me started on coconut oil now. Sigh.

Back to my main point. It doesn't really matter what other moms do, does it? I mean what's good for my family isn't going to be good for your family. If a mom wants to co-sleep so she can get some sleep, its ok. It's none of your business. If a mom wants to put her baby in their crib from the first day they get home, its ok. It's none of your business.

Be you and be the mom that God created you to be. If you want to let your child scream the whole time at the store, that's ok. It works for you. And it's NO ONE'S business.

If you want to let your son climb in the dishwasher all while taking a picture of him instead of worrying about him falling off. That's ok.

Stop staring at other parents whether its for sympathy or judgement. When a child is screaming that parent is already feeling judged and not looking at you to see if you have caring or judgey eyes. If you want to do something, go up to them and say, "you're doing a great job, is there anything I can do to help?"

Because mom's...YOU'RE DOING A GREAT JOB!!! Your child is alive. And that's all we can ask for these days. You're family is perfect in it's own way. If we were all the same then the world would be too boring. Love each other and encourage. If we all feel like failures then we can't raise children who believe in themselves. Because believe it or not, they can tell when you're down and eventually they will figure out whats getting to you.

in to everything

2017-06-21T08:30:00.000-04:00

Rylan is in to everything. At almost 11 months he is crawling, climbing, pulling on, and chewing everything! He's my absolute favorite and I am so lucky that I get to be his momma! I feel like it's really pointless to put all the toys away for the night because it starts bright and early with just tearing them all out again. But it's ok because hes happy and that makes me happy! Momma loves you big boy!

He obviously doesn't have enough toys. No matter where I put them or how I store them, they all have to be out. I have waited for so long to see toys all over the floor that this site actually makes me happy!

There is a trend starting. My son is either in pajamas or is half dressed. He loves to be in just his diaper. Apparently, that's how I was when I was little. A boy after his mommas heart!

So, he's not "allowed" to have this remote. But every day hes manages to find it. We hide it different places and he always sniffs it out. As you can see he is SUPER proud of himself. Gosh he's cute.

Movies everywhere. He will sit and stare at the covers for minutes. I think hes trying to figure out why the people are staring at him because he only stares at the ones with faces on the front. Castaway is his favorite to stare down.

this guy. happy first father's day

2017-06-18T08:30:00.000-04:00

This guy. You guys. There aren't any words to describe the love I have for this man. Seeing him turn in to a father has been the most amazing experience. There are so things about him that I'm thankful and love him for, but the most important one is the way he loves our son.

Thank you for loving our son in the most selfless way from the very beginning! I love you!

bathing suit shopping - mom edition

2017-06-15T09:00:00.000-04:00

First of all...what in the world. Are bathing suits even bathing suits anymore. I feel like I'm shopping for something someone would wear in a porno. Yikes.

Target - $39.99


Target - $39.99


Cupshe - $23.99

Cupshe - 26.99

Fairy Season - $10.39


Fairy Season - $11.69

Victoria's Secret - $49.99

Here are a few options to chose from. These sites are pretty amazing. (no I'm not getting paid for this post) I have ordered suits from all these sites and have not been disappointed. I will tell you that the Fairy Season suits are a little on the cheaper made side, but for around $10 you can't beat it. They do take forever and run a little small due to the fact they are coming from China.

I'm not in to the whole tankini thing but all of those sites do have some selection for those too!! I tried Old Navy but just didn't find anything there that I thought was fitting for my 10 month post pregnancy belly. :) I'm working on it but not quite there yet.

I only found one at Vickie's that I really thought was appropriate for my body. There are mom's out there that can wear bikinis and look amazing but for me...nope. I like the high wasted because they cover more but I just can't bring myself to wear an itsy bitsy anymore.

I LOVE SUMMER!!!!

<3

6.11.17 - our sunday, on tuesday

2017-06-13T09:00:00.000-04:00

1.Woke up at 6:15.

2. Snuggles, of course.

3. Play with alllll the toys. All of them. (he doesn't have enough...jk)

4. Go for a long walk, which I wasn't prepared for. (2 hrs people, ugh)

5. Swing on swings. (I didn't save the video and it makes me sad) :(

6. Walk awkwardly in to the library during a church service to go to the bathroom. (oops)

7. Rylan falls asleep on the way home. (sigh..no morning nap)

8. Daddy wakes up and we spend time with him.

9. Daddy goes to work. :(

10. We fall asleep in the chair for 2.5 hrs. :)

11. We go outside and play in our new pool. :)

12. BUBBLES. (which is sadly didn't get a video of because

it's hard blowing bubbles and trying to take a video at the same time)

13. Before bed snuggles.

14. Bedtime.

motherhood has made me quiet.

2017-06-12T09:53:00.000-04:00

Motherhood has made me quiet, and I'm ok with it. I had this profound post planned and now that I'm here I don't feel like I can do it justice with my words. How do you explain that motherhood has made you quiet. I don't talk like I used to, I don't just hang out with people to hang out with them, I don't just carry on a conversation with someone to occupy my time. Priorities shift and change.

There's nothing really to talk about other than my child. He is my life. I mean I work and of course I have my husband who is my best friend but other than that I don't do much. My life is consumed with my family, mostly my baby boy. I go to work M-F and I come home and get to take care of him. On the weekends, I wake up with him and we are together all day. And I love it. But it has made me quiet. I used to talk about anything and everything just to talk because there was nothing else in my life that consumed my time like he does.

Some other mothers get it, some other mothers don't. And then there are people who are just getting married and don't have children, there are people who are trying to have children and can't, there are people who don't want children. Do I just blabber on about my child to them? Some people just don't want to hear about your child's poop that day or that he can now say "up".

Don't get me wrong. There are times when I just want to talk about nothing, but when I try all that comes out are things about Rylan, or my husband, or my time with my little family. And again, I'm ok with it. But some people...they look at you like, "oh that's nice", lets move on.

I think about all the time we spent waiting for him and all the time spent going through fertility treatments just to be able to have him. So now that he is here, I don't want to just fill my time with empty words. My words mean something now. I want to just be with him, watch him, help him learn new things. Let him know that he's my world and I wouldn't do anything to change it.

They don't fall on deaf ears anymore. I know he's only 10 months old, but he does hear and pick up on every word I say. I don't want him to hear my negativity or blah blah talk. I want him to understand that every word means something, that words are important.

I don't know if I'm even making sense at this point, so I'll stop.

Rylan's First Birthday - O-Fishally-One

2017-06-09T06:00:00.000-04:00

So I'm starting to plan Rylan's first birthday. (insert big ugly cry) I cannot believe my baby is going to be one. I know all moms probably say that but it's real you guys. It's a sad and overwhelming feeling. How has this tiny human, who I just held for the very first time, ONE?

Anyway...my inspiration is pinspiration. All of these images are from Pinterest, I didn't link to the original sources because well I just didn't feel like taking the time to do it.

We decided to go with a fishing theme because not many people around here have done that idea. Most people do the Mr. Onederful or the Woodland theme. I wanted to be as unique as possible and after wracking my brain for weeks and weeks, I caved to Pinterest and found these cute parties to ~~copy~~ inspire me. I plan on making some of the stuff, but honestly since having Rylan I've cut down on crafting a ton. Simply because I just don't have the time.

I'm so excited to plan his party, but again, it makes me so very sad that my wittle baby is growing up. It's inevitable I get it, but it doesn't make it any easier.

<3

a coming back recap

2017-06-07T09:17:00.000-04:00

it has been officially a year and a half since i've blogged a single thing. i have a ton of posts sitting in draft that i wanted to publish but never did. the past year and a half have been hard on me but also so joyful. its hard to explain. so i will do a little recap...

we had a baby! whis is rylan cash covington. he was born on july 31st, 2016. he has changed my life in so many ways. i know everyone says this but it's a love that no one can imagine!
my husband and i are about to celebrate 7...7 years of marriage. it's crazy. i love him so much and it's true what they say...i love him more today than the day we met. there are so many reasons that i love him and find something new every day!
we are planning on swimming A TON this summer. i love being outside and my parents have a pool now so we are going to be posted up there. i love summer time and having a little one to enjoy it with makes it even better.

i dont know how many people are still following a long but i hope some of you are and maybe we will get some new followers.
i'm getting ready to plan my baby's first birthday!!!!! it makes me sad but i'm so excited to see what who he is going to become.

that is all for now. there are so many things that i need to catch up on and i'm sure i will. i'm so excited to be back!!!!

Merry Christmas

2014-12-12T13:03:00.000-05:00

Thankful

2014-11-27T05:30:00.000-05:00

After yesterday's post, I thought I would write a "thankful" post. Because I AM THANKFUL for so many things in my life. My prayer is to not take away from those things but to BE THANKFUL for them...always! (not necessarily in order of importance)

1. My God.
2. My Husband.
3. My Parents.
4. My Husband's Parents.
5. My Job.
6. My Car.
7. My House
8. My Cat.
9. My Clothes.
10. Our Money.
11. Food.
12. Coffee.
13. Internet.
14. TV.
15. My Cell Phone.
16. My Health
17. Breath.
18. My Country.
19. My Safety.
20. Police Officers and Firefighters.
21. Love.
22. My Readers.
23. All of the Friends I've made through Blogging.
24. All of my Personal Friends.
25. My Family.
26. Our Future Children.
27. Ponytail Holders (it's real)
28. My Bed.
29. Running Water and a Flushing Toilet.
30. Thanksgiving...the food, the fellowship, and the meaning behind it all.

What are you thankful for. There is always something to be thankful for!

Happy Thanksgiving from my family to yours!

Much love....

Danielle

All on the line...emotionally

2014-11-26T08:55:00.000-05:00

So, I know its been a while since I've been here but today I felt strongly to share my feelings about where we are.

source

A few months ago I just wasn't feeling right. I made and appointment with my Dr. to tell him about what was going on. I was trying HARD to lose weight. I was working out 5 days a week, eating right, doing everything I could. I was gaining weight! He gave me this speech about this and that and didn't want me to get my hopes up that something was wrong, maybe my body just didn't like the things I was putting in to it or was getting "used" to working out. Whatever, I knew. He ordered some labs and sure enough....insulin resistance. Back to the PCOS mumbo jumbo! Great.

I wasn't ovulating, I was gaining weight, I had insulin resistance, and still NO BABY! He decided to start me on Metformin and see how that went for 3 months. This is month three and still no baby. But there are some positive things that have come from this. Last month I decided to do OPK's to see if I was ovulating on my own. Now before we get too far ahead, I already know that you can get a positive and still not ovulate. On day 18 of my cycle I got a +!!! Praise Jesus! The medicine was working! 14 days later my period started (grrr) but I knew my body was working the way it should. This month, I had lots of tell tale signs that I ovulated around day 14 or 15. I didn't do an OPK this month because I didn't want the stress of having to take a test every day at the same time and blah blah. If you have ever taken OPK's then you understand what I mean...it's tiring. I think it's worse than a pregnancy test, honestly!

So here we are, month 3. I'm waiting. Waiting on my period to arrive, waiting on a + pregnancy test, waiting to see what happens this month. If I am not pregnant this month, then we move on. We redo my labs to see where my levels are. If they are improving.

I have lost 13 lbs, which isn't a ton, but its something. Anything is better than gaining weight!! Metformin has kicked my rear though, its not an easy medicine to be on. You definitely have to eat right and cut back on the carbs and sugar!! Something I'm not great at!! I'm getting there though!

If I'm not pregnant, we will more thank likely try more fertility treatments beginning in January. I want to be that woman and couple that goes off treatments and gets pregnant. I want to be that couple that is able to tell that miracle story. Either way we will have a miracle, I know it. But quite honestly, I'm tired of waiting. I'm tired of it all!

I'm broken, emotionally. I'm ready to be a mother. I'm ready to see my husband as a father. I know he will be so great with our children. I don't want to have to go through IVF, I just don't. It's hard to rely on Dr.'s, medicine, God. But that's what we will have to do. It won't be and hasn't been easy for us, but we will have a story to tell at the end of all this. Encouragement for others.

I think from now on, I will try and not talk about infertility all the time. I will keep you updated but I also want to just write about other things. Life in general. I know a baby is my life right now but it doesn't have to consume it.

Much love...

Danielle

Insta dump...life lately

2014-06-11T10:00:00.000-04:00

My niece. I'm so in love with her. She is truly a blessing to us and I can't wait to make her a big cousin!

Mike and I have been walking/running the McKinley Monument stairs again. This is the rotunda inside the monument. It's beautiful. You can't just go in there but they were having a tour so we snuck in and took pictures really quick!

My cousin Katelyn asked me to be one of her bridesmaids! Of course I said yes, it's in California! I wouldn't miss it for anything!!

Eating healthier!

Quincey loves being in the breezeway. This was breakfast with mom the other day.

We did the night glo walk/run with my parents. It was to support domestic violence. Very moving!

I made this for Lily. They are super easy!!

My niece turned ONE!??!?! Time flies!!

I became part of a POUND POSSE! and I'm in love!

We went fishing at a lake here. I love being outside and especially by the water!!! It's sooo peaceful!

My cousin Katelyn that asked me to be her bridesmaid moved home from California!!!! I'm sooo happy shes here!

Quincey again the breezeway with mom! He loves it out there!!

Life is good!

14 Day Fat Loss Solution

2014-06-09T10:00:00.000-04:00

So I've been working out and eating better for a month now. I have lost 5 lbs and I'm sure a lot more inches. I haven't really been tracking my inches but I can tell my clothes feel a little different. It hasn't been a huge difference just yet because I'll be honest, my eating hasn't been a great example of how you should eat on a diet. There are parties and holidays and, and, and, and....EXCUSES. I can't pass up a good piece of cake, or cheesy potatoes, or brownies. Except now.

I've been doing the POUND workout I've mentioned before and I LOVE IT!! I would encourage anyone to look them up and order the DVD or find somewhere near you that teaches the class. It's great and it works out your whole body.

My cousin-in-law is starting a 14 day fat loss solution today. I am so excited that she asked me to be part of it. I will be doing this along with POUND. POUND is only 2 days a week so I'll be doing it along with the work outs at home. We will be doing clean eating and working out at home, doing work outs that you don't have to buy extra stuff for. Stuff you can do at home with your body weight.

I'm so excited. I can't wait to see results. It's a fat shred so let it begin. Shred it off!! I took pictures and measurements yesterday so I will let you know how it goes throughout the week and once the first week is up.

The story of my life today

2014-06-05T13:15:00.004-04:00

On a positive note....I HAD A NORMAL CYCLE WITHOUT DRUGS!!!!! No medication, no Clomid, injections, ultrasounds! All on my own. This is the first normal 30 day cycle I've had since my miscarriage not being on medicine! Praise the Lord!

Happy Thursday everyone!

p.s. sorry if any guys read this...its more of a woman's day! :)

Infertility Click-Don't be a mean girl!

2014-05-08T10:44:00.000-04:00

So I came across a situation recently that made me think about this whole "infertility community" thing. I want to start off by saying that I absolutely LOVE and ADORE all of the women and couples that I have "met" through our journey.

But, sometimes I feel like its a click. Have you ever gotten on those blog forum communities? I have never personally posted anything but I've read columns where someone will say the wrong thing or ask a wrong question and its like they shot the president. They get scolded and shunned basically from the conversation.

I understand you need to filter your social media life because there are crazies out there, but c'mon really? We are all going through the same thing, we are all dealing with the emotions and stress of infertility. We all know what it feels like.

Those of us who have been on this journey longer than the couple who just found out they will have to try Clomid to conceive, need to be supportive of them. They are new to the emotions and the trauma that comes along with that news. Instead of bashing them or asking if they are spam, we need to ask them if they are ok. What can I do to help you? Do you have any questions? If you don't want someone in your circle of friends, just deny the request to be friends with them. Don't accept the friend request and move on. I wouldn't want to be that to be my support group anyways.

Just my two cents for the day. But don't be a mean girl. We need to love and accept every one who is on this road with us because believe me its a tight road and its busy. We will bump in to people along the way and if we all rally together we can all kick infertility in the BEHIND! Let's celebrate and love each other!

Have you guys met Lena? I love her blog and she is so sweet. You can find it <here>!! She is so positive and I love reading her posts!!

Much Love!

we interrupt your regularly scheduled program....to lose weight

2014-05-02T13:23:00.002-04:00

With a negative pregnancy test on Wednesday it's hard for me not to be negative.

We have decided to take a break from fertility treatments for now. We are going to take 3 months off and see where that gets us. I am going to bust my butt to lose as much weight as I can (all the while being healthy and not crash dieting because that never gets me anywhere). I have started a class at the YMCA called Pound, I think I mentioned it before. But I love it. sometimes its hard on back but its so much fun and time just flies because its all to music and you're constantly moving.

Realistically I need to lose 80 pounds. I ~~hope~~ know that's not going to happen all before we get pregnant. If it does then ok but if it doesn't then I'll be fine with it. As long as I know that I'm moving toward a goal of getting healthier. I know my eating habits are bad, but I feel like all these hormones and injections and on and on have really made it hard for me and contributed to me gaining weight. Trust me...we eat bad and I know! So that's going to change!

Our/my goal is to not eat out or eat fast food during the week for the month of May. Mike and I go out on dates on the weekend and its just something we enjoy so I don't think its a realistic goal for the weekends but we still don't have to go crazy when we are eating out.

I also want to cut out pop and a lot of sugar. Again, I'm not going to cut out all these things at once and crash diet because I wont stick to it. If I eliminate one thing at a time it will be easier. So eating out/fast food and pop are my two main focuses this month.

Here we go. I'm going to start doing weight updates again. I'm not going to post my weight because I'm trying not to focus on numbers so much like I did before. It's hard for me because I like to hide and not let people see things like this but it gives me motivation. I will take pictures and post them for you all to see. It will probably be an evolving thing.

I'm ready!! Are you? Would you like to join me? Let's do something and make a change for the month of May! One month at a time! I'll start posting on Monday!

Infertility Awareness Week

2014-04-22T13:20:00.000-04:00

This week is infertility awareness week. As you all know, this hits home for me. I actually know a lot of people personally that are struggling with it. It's so weird to think that just a few short years ago I was totally oblivious to all of this. Now, I am all too familiar.

Today I am linking up with Lauren over at our crazy ever after to raise awareness!!

If you don't know our history you can read it all at the links below...

Can't Wait to Meet You Someday

The End of the Story

Opening Up about Our Infertility Journey

Our Journey Pt. 2

Our First Fertility Appointment

Plan of Action

The Results are In

Build a Baby Update

Not a Typical Sunday Morning

Look What Came in the Mail

They Shot Me

TCC Update

There are some other posts in between here and there but these are the main ones that will explain what is going on.

We were going to take a break this month but decided that we've invested so much in to this already that we might as well try again. So we started the process all over again.

We didn't really tell anyone we were going to try again this month because mainly I wanted it to be a surprise, but with this week I want people to be aware. I want them to know they aren't alone.

So, baseline ultrasound and Clomid again with the trigger shot.

The first dose of Clomid this round didn't work, so I had to start it again right away. Two doses of Clomid in one cycle. Enter PSHYCO Danielle. :)

Finally, the second one worked, I triggered and hopefully ovulated the next day. We did the ultrasound a day later on cycle day 13 instead of 12 so my follicles were good sized. All 3 above 1.8. One was 1.8 and the other two were like 2.6 and 2.8. I was having so much pain on my left side and I thought for sure there was another cyst there but luckily it was because all 3 follicles were on the same side.

So now, I'm in the dreadful, from h. e. double hockey sticks waiting period. Seriously, when I get to Heaven I'm going to ask God why He made us have to suffer through all this waiting. Always waiting during a cycle. It's stressful and they tell you not to stress. ha.

We are ready for this part of the journey to be over. You can see below just how much time and money we've put in to trying for a baby. I'm sure we've spent a good amount more than that but it doesn't let you put in different costs. Either way, its taxing. I pray each day for all of the couples who are like us. All those struggling. Whether the journey is years or months it still doesn't make it any easier. I try to remind myself daily that we will all get our someday. The someday that we will be pregnant. The someday that we don't have to worry about miscarrying. The someday that we will have a precious bundle of joy in our arms.

Flowers for Spring {inspiration}

2014-04-08T13:52:00.000-04:00

I love spring! I love the fresh flowers and the new life that comes with spring. It just makes things seem new and fresh. A brand new start full of cheer and happy thoughts!

Lately, my thoughts have been pretty negative. I've fallen in to the infertility funk, rut, ravine, sink hole, whatever you want to call it.

It's officially been 27 months since we've started trying for a child and almost 1 year since we conceived last time. I try not to focus on the long term numbers because it really depresses me. So much that I don't want to be around people. I don't want to take care of myself and I eat. And gain weight. Then I start feeling better and the next month happens. The next negative comes and it starts all over again!

Not this month. I've started going to a POUND workout class that my aunt teaches and I will continue to do so until we get pregnant. Then I will have to get the clear from the doc before I can work out. I don't want anything to happen this time! I'm overweight and out of shape so it's been hard but I'm doing it. I'm super sore and a little grouchy about it but hey I feel better when I leave and it makes me want to eat better to be able to see results.

I've let my weight go and I'm so unhappy about it, but food is good and I was lazy and I let myself slip in to the overweight funk.

I've been trying to turn my negative attitude around about our situation because I'm not the only one who has ever gone through this. I have a great support system and hope and faith that things will come to pass. I just can't help but think that we have been waiting for so long.

There are so many questions that I have that I'm not sure I will ever get answers for but it's ok. Why do we have to wait? Why are there so many couples out there that get pregnant without trying? Why are there so many women who don't want to be pregnant get pregnant? Women who have had their tubes tied and men who have had vasectomies, pregnant? Women in 3rd world countries that can't take care of themselves and their babies, who have AIDS and probably won't live to even see their babies turn one. (this truly breaks my heart so I'm not being rude or disrespectful here)

But a new day is coming. Hopefully sooner rather than later! We are so very ready for this next chapter in our lives, the chapter that includes 3 (and more to come) Covington's (plus Quincey Kitty). The chapter that brings new life, new hope, new joy, new restoration. We are ready to be more than what we are!

Here's to spring! Warm weather, sunshine, flowers, birds chirping, and new life!!

soft and floppy, two toned crochet basket

2014-04-01T12:34:00.000-04:00

Supplies:

H Hook
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Cherry Red
Red Heart Super Saver Yarn in Aran

Of course you can use any colors you would like to match your décor. These are going in our office to put pens and things in, so I went with red and white to match.
Abbreviations:

SS: Slip Stitch
SC: Single Crochet
DC: Double Crochet
CH: Chain

You can find how to do all of these on YouTube.

Pattern:

**Make sure you are grabbing both colors of yarn for every stitch**

You can start with a magic ring our you can do a simple alternative to the magic ring: CH2 and work all your stitches in the second CH from the hook. Do not count the 1st CH you skipped as a stitch.

Round 1: 10 SC into the center of the magic ring or in your CH 2 space. Pull tight.

Round 2: CH 3. 2 DC in each SC around. (20 DC)

Round 3: CH 3. *2 DC in next DC. DC in next DC. Repeat from * around. Join to top of CH 3. (30 DC)

Round 4: CH 3. *2 DC in next DC. DC in next 2 DC. Repeat from * around. Join to top of CH 3. (40 DC)

Round 5: CH 3. *2 DC in next DC. DC in next 7 DC. Repeat from * around. Join to top of CH 3. (45 DC)

Rounds 6-9 (or however tall you want your basket): CH 3. DC in each DC around. Joint to top of CH 3. (45 DC)

Round 10: Drop one color of yarn. CH 4. *Skip a stitch and DC in next stitch. CH 1. Repeat from * around. Join to the 3rd CH from bottom of your CH 4.

Round 11: CH 4. *DC in to each CH 1 space from previous row. Repeat from * around. Join to the 3rd CH from bottom of your CH 4.

Fasten off and weave in ends.

Enjoy.

TTC Update

2014-03-26T10:47:00.001-04:00

Hello All,

With a heavy heart I want to let you know that we did not conceive this month. We are going to take a break. I can't handle the emotions and the stress and everything else that goes along with it. All the crazy hormones from the medication and injection, the waiting and more waiting. It just gets to be too much!

I will also be taking a break from blogging for a couple weeks. I need time to just think, to meditate and get back to a good place. I've been so focused on baby, baby, baby that I haven't taken time for myself and to get back to the things I enjoy. I'm going to take time to hopefully lose some weight. Also to enjoy my husband and cherish these times with just the two of us!

Thanks for your prayers and support, please keep them coming.

Much love.

Getting Organized {a little late}

2014-03-18T07:00:00.000-04:00

It's everyone's goal to get "reorganized" at the beginning of a new year. Well, I'm only 2 1/2 months late but that's ok. Of course, I turned to Pinterest to find some free printable planners and here are a few of my favorites that I found. I wish I could be this design savvy but I'm not so I'm super glad these ladies are willing to share these with us all for FREE!!

1. Daily Planner from Passion for Savings

2. 2014 Day Planner from Gluesticks

This one has links to other sites with AWESOME printables. I love, love, love this one!

3. Life Planner from This After Twins

This one says 2013 but you can use it for 2014 because she hasn't numbered the days. You would just have to change the cover page.

4. 2014 Planner from Miss Tina

This one is probably my favorite. She has everything laid out for you in pretty designs.

5. Blog Planner from The Blogging Garden

6. 5 Blog Planner Printables from Made to be a Momma

7. 2014 Planner by Jill at One Good Thing

8. DIY Personalized Life Planner

I hope these help you all get organized!! I'm in love. I might print one of each!! haha!

Love.

On the low side

2014-03-17T06:30:00.000-04:00

Today...

I'm on the low side.

I'm just having one of those days. You know, like circumstantial depression I guess you could call it.

There are a few things going on around us that are just bringing me down. I have to remember that God gives me the strength and the peace and the drive to go on. It's hard to remember that though, its hard to rely, its hard to have faith. Some times I feel like I've been there. I've tried that and a lot of times it seems to only get worse.

I've decided to take a break from Facebook. I can't do it right now. There are a lot of people announcing pregnancy and talking about being pregnant. People hinting to the idea of trying again or hinting that they are pregnant but haven't come out and say it.

Do you ever feel like people do things with a hidden intention. Like they mean for it to be known and thrown in your face, but they don't realize it? I'm sure a lot of people thing its me or whomever being overly sensitive but you can tell the malicious from the non. I'm not just talking about babies and pregnancy either. Friendships, relationships, material things, possessions. Things they know you want or need and that they can get freely. Have you ever told someone you wanted something and they go out and get it? Then it doesn't seem special to you. Thanks.

There are other circumstances, friends that come and go, life happenings, and things of that sort that are going on as well. It's hard when things change.

So today, I'm just taking my space. Trying to trust. Trying to have faith. Trying to remember I'm in this moment for a reason. It's only for a season. Please...only a short season!

They Shot Me

2014-03-06T14:40:00.000-05:00

Happy Thursday everyone!

Yesterday I had to go in for my second ultrasound this cycle to see if my follies were ready for the trigger shot. I was so nervous because these ultrasounds are pretty expensive and our insurance doesn't cover them because they are claimed under infertility.

Either way, I had three follicles that were ready to go!! I honestly can't remember which side was which but I'm pretty sure that I had two good ones on the right and one good one on the left. The two on one side were both 20mm. The other side was 17mm.

I guess anything 17 and above is good according to my Dr. I'm trying not to think about it (how do you not) because I don't want anything to factor in to it not happening or not attaching or this and that and on and on.

I got the shot in my backside and let me tell you...ouch. It didn't actually hurt when they did the shot but afterwards. Man, around where it went in is killer. But, the realization I had to come to today was that....I don't feel good. I'm nauseous, exhausted, crampy (oh so crampy) and extremely moody!!! I was reading a forum today that said that 10,000 iu of HCG is equal to 9-13 weeks pregnant. Hello! No wonder I'm exhausted. I feel like I could fall over at any minute. Now, if it were only the case that I was truly pregnant. We will have to wait to find that out though! But for now I will relish in what is going on in my body. It's working, albeit with drugs, but it's working!

I start the progesterone on Saturday and then we wait. and wait. and wait. until the 21st. Which is the first day they told me to test. The nurse made sure I knew not to test before the 21st because with the HCG you can get a false positive and of course I don't want that! Hopes up, hopes down. Again, I was reading and they said to definitely not test before 10 DPO which would be the 17th. I'll try and hold out but we will see. No promises made here!!

I don't have any pictures from the Dr but I do have a picture of my lovely parents who went with me yesterday and stood by my side. Unfortunately my husbands job isn't as lenient as mine for time off so he can't be at this appointments. It's important but not as important as whats to come! I had another appointment with my hematologist yesterday too so it was an all day adventure. I'll write more on that later.

Love.

I'm not Interesting

2014-03-03T12:43:00.001-05:00

Let's be honest. I'm not very interesting. I don't have children yet, I have a cat who lays around and you can't blog about that, I do have a handsome husband but he is in school right now so we are limited on the fun things we can do. The only thing I can really blog about right now is our journey to parenthood. And I feel like there are so many blogs out there about women who are going through it that one more is just boring. I struggle to find me "blogger identity" and "fit in" somewhere. But you know what? That's not why I started blogging so I don't want to go there.

I need new material but I honestly don't feel like I have the time to DIY anymore. Maybe it's not so much the time as the motivation. There are only so many things you can sew, crochet, or create from Pinterest that someone else hasn't already thought of. I will work on it though. Probably not every week like I used to, but I need to come up with some good projects to work on.

With spring ~~hopefully~~ around the corner and a baby ~~hopefully~~ on the way sooner rather than later, I will come up with some fresh ideas. I need to take my expensive camera out and take some good pictures.

I'm not a fashion blogger, one I just don't have the money or time to do that and two I just don't feel confident enough to do that. I have this blog so that I can remember things that happened and are happening in my life. I love to look back and read the things that happened a year ago and I can't imagine what it'll be like when I do have kids. We can read back together and see just how far we've come.

So, for now I will continue on keeping you updated about the baby process and we will go from there. Plus it's just to darn cold to get out and take pictures of anything pretty. Freezing over here!

Lookie what came in the mail

2014-02-28T08:50:00.002-05:00

So on Wednesday I received this beauty in the mail!! This is the HCG trigger shot I will ~~hopefully~~ be taking this next Wednesday. I am believing this will be the best $$ spent!!! I took my last Clomid pills today!! Yippie!

We did Clomid before but never with a trigger shot. That's what caused the 3 cm cyst on my ovary because I wasn't monitored and was just given Clomid over and over for 4 months. This time will be different though. I'm so excited.

Sadly, when I get excited so much on the inside that I feel like I'm going to burst, I tell myself to stop it. Don't get your hopes up. You've been here before, thinking that this is the month. If the Dr. will only give me Clomid I'll get pregnant the first month, I know it. 4 months later I was in worse shape than when I started. Now, we are in the same boat and I'm soooooo super happy. I can't even explain the anticipation and excitement I'm having right now, but also the anxiety and doubt.

So, I've decided to move forward with my thoughts. Quit thinking about what happened at the other Dr. We are seeing specialists now and they are experienced and do this daily, multiple times. I am focusing on the day at hand. Tomorrow is the furthest I will look because there is no need to speculate what's going to happen. Worrying and contemplating is not going to change the results of the ultrasound on Wednesday.

Praying will though, I'm standing firm on believing that Wednesday will be the day that everything is ready and that we will be able to go ahead and take the shot and won't have to go back again for another ultrasound.

I also have my hematology appointment on Wednesday to see what is really going on with my blood and how much more treatment will be needed or not needed. Lots of new info coming my way!!!! Good news, good news, good news!!!!