The Life of a (not so) Evil Stepmother

OMG

2012-01-19T18:44:00.000-05:00

How does one forget their child? Especially when there are two of them and one only forgets one child? How do you look at the one and not think "huh, weird, usually there's two of them"?

Not that anyone forgot one of the girls tonight and since hasn't noticed her absence. That definitely would not have happened, and if it had I definitely would think better than to blog about it...definitely

cupcakes

2012-01-18T22:19:00.000-05:00

Tony is currently in the kitchen attempting to bake cupcakes for me (for my birthday) using the cake mix W/soda technique that is so popular right now.

There are 3 reasons why I think he is doing this:

He hates that my parents (and step mother) forgot my birthday and is trying to make up for this fact
He's tired of my b*tching about needing to eat better (so he's using diet soda)
He bought cake mix and forgot to buy eggs

I'm sure at the heart of it, his reasons really are only 1&3 but I can also see him debating with himself in the store "she says you can really make cake with soda, I've tried the cakes she made and they worked out ok, should I buy regular soda or diet soda? if there are leftovers I'd rather drink regular, is she going to b*tch at me for buying regular? she did say she was feeling fat today, she's probably going to b*tch about regular soda, they are cupcakes though so who cares if they have 10 extra calories, I should buy diet"

This is how I imagine my husband's brain works anyway. I find it rather cute actually. It's nice knowing someone actually cares about whether or not I'm going to be mad at them. That sounds bad, at the very least reflective of low self-esteem, maybe it is but I don't think so, it's more of a reflection of bad/immature love matches in the past with people who really didn't care if I was upset at them or at anything for that matter. So really the jist is I love my hubby :-)

27

2012-01-17T20:11:00.001-05:00

Today is my 27th birthday. I generally try not to get too excited about my birthday, but invariably I usually do. Most years something bad happens on or around my birthday and well really who wants to celebrate the anniversaries of bad things? But then again it is my birthday and I do love celebrating...

This year I didn't really get excited. For the first time I seem to have actually taken my own advice and not gotten my hopes up that anything especially good would happen today. It is now 8:00pm and while nothing especially good has happened today, nothing especially bad has happened either.

Both of my parents seem to have forgotten that today is my birthday. Strangly enough this isn't really bothering me all that much. I think it's due to the fact that I did not get my hopes up for anything this year. I think had I gotten excited (like I typically say I won't but absolutely do) that this would bother me quite a bit. I would have probably have sat around my house in the dark and had a pity party 16 candles style (yes I probably am that dramatic, but no I'm probably no where near as cool as molly Ringwald).

But for some reason this year it just doesn't seem to matter to me. Plenty of people have wished me a Happy Birthday. One friend even called and sang me the entire Birthday song over the phone. My in-laws and my hubs got me fabulous gifts. Hubs is (hopefully) getting off work soon, and planning to take me to a late dinner. All in all it's been a good, if somewhat uneventful, day.

Ooo before I forget, I did discover today that I share my birthday with this fabulous lady:

which I happily informed her of via Facebook. Fingers crossed that I get a response (even though I'm sure it would be from some staff member, it would still be incrediblestoryItellfortherestofmylife cool!), it could be a game changer folks, my birthday could forever be known as the catalyst for beginning my beautiful and life long friendship with Zooey. One day many years from now we could sit together at our annual birthday dinner party with Joseph Gordon-Levitt, while of course listening to the song She&Him wrote to denote the special occasion, and laugh about how our friendship began via random Facebook comment.

...not that I've given this idea much thought at all...

P.S. I'm assuming this pic is a gag, this lady is waaaaayyyy too amazing to ever do anything illegal

"Maybe we can go outside when yous done with your homework Mom"

2011-12-01T19:27:00.001-05:00

It's all done and turned in! The big bad manuscript is finally off my table (for now anyway, I'm sure I'll have to edit if I want it published). I have 2 more days of class and a final and this semester is donezo!!!

I should be celebrating and perhaps I will muster the energy for a date night with my hubba bubba (Tony's nick name that popped out of my mouth about 30 seconds after we tied the knot and it has stuck). Currently I'm lying as still as possible on the couch because I had the bright idea of joining my hubba bubba at the gym yesterday. Whew that man made me work for it. Muscles I didn't know I had are aching and by aching I mean screaming at me ruthlessly.

Why did I decide to cause myself this agony? Well I like most women am not overly pleased with my body these days. I've been thin my entire life. In fact when I was in middle school one of the cruelest taunts I received was to have "Anorexic" screamed down the hall way, in the lunch room, on the bus etc. I've wanted to be "thicker" for years (which other women have never understood). Over the last couple of years my metabolism has slowed a bit and I have put on weight but I still have the 12 yr old body type I was born with. Unfortunately what that has meant is that I'm still pretty thin but it's a nice, soft kind of thin, that shows every lump, bump, and cellulitey goodness, kind of like the old ratty t-shirt your husband hangs onto years after it has ceased to fit him properly, and embarrasses you in front of your friends. Yeah that kind of thin and soft.

Oh and it definitely does not help that one of the meanest girls from middle school is now a successful fitness model. Silver lining though she does serve as a good motivator...

I might drown in the amount of words piled around me

2011-11-27T18:56:00.000-05:00

I am coming to the end of my first semester as a full time PhD student. The end of a semester in school is never easy no matter what level of schooling you're in. My husband is working on his BS and the end of each semester is no picnic for him either, so trust me I have no woe is me issues for being in a PhD program.

That being said...

Woe is me! lol. I'm writing a manuscript for a maybe one day to be published article on clinical supervision of substance abuse counselors working within the military population. Mouth full isn't it? Try writing it about half a billion times over the course of 10+ pages. Not to mention the naggy detail that academic writing requires that you PROVE every little fact you mention. I mean really, I have to PROVE that service members have less rights to privacy, I can't just say it, I have to say it and then say who else said it, where they said it, and preferably who they said, said it and where. Which when I put it that way doesn't actually prove anything but hey I guess that's academia for ya.

When I'm all finished though (hopefully by tomorrow) I have fun fun stuff to share. Did you know that Selma is the Antiques capital of NC? I learned this yesterday...

"They spent two months at sea to reach a strange new world, and barely survived once they got there"

2011-11-24T10:16:00.000-05:00

Some years we really do feel like we've barely survived, don't they? As I sit back and enjoy a quiet cup of coffee while my girls watch tv in another room, and my husband sleeps quietly, I know that this year is not one of those years. This is a year like the first Thanksgiving. A year when after struggle and strife everything just comes together and life is as good as it can get.

I have so much to be thankful for this year (I shared some of my many blessings here). I honestly don't even feel like I know the person I used to be before the Agius crew came into my life. As I struggled to explain it all to a friend last night I faltered, and couldn't come up with the words that encompassed the change. I then realized it could all be summed up to a single sentence: I'm a Mom now. That simple fact is the greatest gift I have ever been given. Not just because of the joy that my girls bring to my life but also because of the many lessons that they (and my lovely husband) have taught me. It's not all about me anymore, and it never will be again. It's about my family. How things impact them, what choices will be best for them, how do I explain the hard stuff to them, are they learning the right lessons to become good, strong people.

It's a lot to simply walk into at 26 but I would not change a thing. In working to teach them the important things in life, I have remembered what those things are. I heard in a song once that a woman should live the life she would want for her daughter, and be the kind of person she would want her daughter to be. I'm not there yet but the journey so far has been spectacular in and of it's self.

I am also so very lucky to have an amazing partner to go the journey along with me. I know I gush about Tony a lot on here but I can't help myself. I always thought that I knew what I wanted from a man and Tony really is all of those things, but he is so much more than those things too. He is everything I wanted and all of the things I didn't know I needed

So when I look back over the year today and try to sum up what I am most thankful for I stumble and struggle to put it in to words but again I find it boils down to one sentence: I am most thankful for the simple fact that I'm an Agius!

"Turkey Trot Trot Trot across the Lot Lot Lot, Feeling Fine Fine Fine, Until Thanksgiving Time"

2011-11-20T15:30:00.000-05:00

Friday was the first of several Thanksgiving events for our family. Actually Friday way the first 2 of several Thanksgiving events. The Air Force picked Friday to be turkey day so we went to Bella's preschool (on base) for Thanksgiving lunch and then went over to the hanger where Tony works for a 2 hour (really? two hours?) Thanksgiving celebration (it actually turned out to be 3.5 hours, whoa I mean whoa that's a lot of male bounding over some turkey folks, though I think I may have made friends with a girl in Tony's shop, so yay for new friends)

I happen to think I make one of the BEST Turkeys out there (ego I know but I PROMISE it's AH-MAZING) and since I got up at 7:30 AM on my day off, with no kids to take to school, to roast a turkey, I figured I'd share with you.

So what are the secrets to the perfect turkey you ask. There are two, the brine (if you've never brined your turkey, this is why it comes out dry no matter what you do to prevent it) and the Turkey Triangle (Alton Brown you are a genius!)

So for the brine. I use the recipe from Chez Panisse because their turkeys have been rated the BEST in the country for years. So here's what you need:

A large Stainless Steel Stock Pot (the brine contains A LOT of salt which may pit aluminum pots)

2 1/2 gallons cold water

1 1/2-1 3/4 cups kosher salt

1 cup granulated sugar

2 bay leaves

1 bunch fresh thyme (or 1/4 cup dried)

1 whole head of garlic, cloves separated and peeled

5 whole crushed allspice berries

4 juniper berries, smashed (I can NEVER find these in the stores here in eastern NC so I know from experience picking them straight off the bush is totally FINE)

What to do:

Mix everything together in your pot, making sure that all of the salt and sugar has dissolved. Then add your turkey. (do I need to tell you to remove all packaging and organs? yes? ok do that first). Make sure the turkey is COMPLETELY submerged

Let the bad boy refrigerate at least 12 hours but no more than 24 hours ( I've been known to fudge it and only do 6 hours and it's worked out just fine). Another good lesson learned, if it's cold enough outside and there is no room left in the fridge cause well it is Thanksgiving, you can toss everything in a cooler and set it outside.

When you're ready to roast the turkey remove him from the brine and give him a good rinse in cold water, and pat dry.

Here's where the genius of Alton Brown comes in. I saw his Thanksgiving special (Romancing the Bird, I think it was called) a few years ago, the man is kooky but brilliant none the less.

Rub your turkey down with Canola oil (doesn't change the flavor but promotes browning)

Take a large piece of aluminum foil and form it into a triangle over the Turkey's breast leaving the legs exposed, remove and set aside

Place aromatics inside the cavity. Alton suggests seeping a whole cinnamon stick, apple (sliced), and onion (quartered) in hot water for 8 minutes before placing inside. I use a quartered apple and onion, skip the seeping and the cinnamon, I did it by the book one year and had cinnamon flavored turkey, not bad but definitely not what I was going for.

Place your turkey in a roasting pan, breast up (VERY IMPORTANT, messed this up one year too). Tuck the wings under themselves so the tips don't burn, and place your turkey feet first into a 500 degree oven for 30 minutes.

When your 30 minutes are up you'll have a beautifully browned breast but a mostly uncooked bird.

Here in lies the genius of the Turkey triangle.

Place your triangle back over the breast. (This prevents burning). Drop your oven to 350 degrees and continue roasting for 2-2.5 hours or until your turkey reaches 161 degrees in the thickest part. (if you're measuring the temp use a digital meat thermometer and NEVER remove the probe, if you do you'll release all those lovely juices that we've been working so hard to save.

When your turkey is ready to come out of the oven remove and cover with aluminum foil, another pot, a lid whatever you have on hand, until you are ready to serve (at least 10 minutes though if you're ready right as he comes out). These lets the meat rest and keeps everything nice and hot too. I left mine covered for over an hour Friday and he was still PERFECT by the time we got around to eating him.

Now of course me being me I forgot to take a picture of the finished bird but here's one from Alton's page on FoodNetwork.com My presentation wasn't quite up to par but my bird was almost an exact match.

Happy Roasting Folks!

"Thanks"

2011-11-18T09:27:00.001-05:00

I've been more than a bit grumpy lately. Between my school work and various upsets in my personal life I haven't been one of the most pleasant people to be around. It's really time to get over that. I have a lot to be thankful for in my life, and so I thought I'd write an extra post this morning and share some of the good with you, since I've been all too heavy on the bad lately.

So I say Thank you Lord for giving me:

An amazing husband, who got up this morning at 6 AM and built a fire before going to work because he knew I would want one when I got up

Our families, who love and support us unconditionally

(though the sheer size of Tony's family is a bit intimidating and that's only his mother's side, he's still got a dad a step mom and another little sister who aren't in this photo)

A love that just won't quit

(not that I'd ever want it to)

These two crazies

Our furry babies, Samson and Delilah

(forgive the poor quality phone picture, my camera hates me right now)

Funny, I'm kinda noticing a theme here: Warm fire, warm family, warm heart, warm hugs, and warm blooded beasts. I'm thinking I'm pretty thankful for the warmth in my life right now. I guess that's not too surprising when the temperature around here dropped a shocking 30 degrees yesterday lol.

Warm or cold though I am truly blessed :-)

I'm linking post up at

"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas"

2011-11-18T08:19:00.000-05:00

I have a somewhat OCD love of uniformity. Every year for Christmas for the last several years at at least I have used red and lime green decorations. A little different but nothing crazy. This will be Tony's and my first Christmas as a married couple (read last year he was still trying to rope me into forever and let me do whatever I wanted for the Christmas decor, lol). At Tony's request we're going to be livening things up this year and going for a "White Colorful Christmas".

Check out my pinterest board of Christmas inspiration:

I have a feelings there are going to lots of projects are here...

"If the scholar feels that he must know everything about any topic, he is in trouble - and will not publish with a clear conscience."

2011-11-13T19:54:00.000-05:00

I know I have been remiss in my posting this week. Unfortunately this is likely to continue into the next week or so. I have a presentation tomorrow, a presentation Tuesday, a midterm Tuesday, and a manuscript due a week from tomorrow. My 2 presentations are done thank goodness, my midterm is in Biostatistics so there very little I can do to actually study but I desperately need to make my formula sheet (it's allowed I promise!), and my manuscript? Well I've got a title page, 1.25 pages of text, and all my references so it's a start. Not a great start, but a start none the less. Minimum of 8.5 more pages to go. I'm writing about clinical supervision of substance abuse counselors working with a military population. Do you know how many other people have ever written on this topic? Cause I'm not finding ANY. Sounds good right? Easy to publish when there's no other publications on the subject, sure. But it also means I have to reference to tell me whether or not what I'm writing is remotely accurate. Ugh. Just wait until dissertation time. Anticipate the rants, go ahead, you know they're coming...

"Grumplstiltskin"

2011-11-09T12:51:00.000-05:00

(yes that is wedding cake to the eye, Round 1 goes to me!)

For years I have been referred to as "the dark and twisty one" of my group of friends. Lots and lots of bad decisions, lost tempers, and other bizarre/unconventional choices over the last 15 years have earned me this title. I mean really most of my good friendships started with me hating whoever it was for some silly reason or another. I'm honestly lucky that anyone even speaks to me any more. Case in point, the first time I met my would be sister-in-law, I'm pretty sure she reconsidered dating my brother, since he came with such a loud, foul-mouthed little so and so for a sister.

I scared her, its true, she admitted it once after one too many mixed drinks. In my defense, I had had a very bad weekend and my brother had given me no warning what so ever, that he was bringing his new girlfriend to dinner and I happened to have liked his last girlfriend quite a bit. (Over 6 years later, I am sooo glad he married the one he did, because she makes him silly happy, while the previous girl was all dark and twisty like me, which is probably why I liked her, but also why she made my brother crazy. Also I found out my sister-in-law nearly took the ex down at a party which earned serious points with me. I know, I know, dark and twisty, yeah yeah whatever).

Anyway I share all this skeletons in the closet type stuff in the spirit of honesty and transparency, and as a bit of an explanation of why my marriage works. Ha! I know, you were expecting me to say why marriage has problems or why I make my husband crazy or something negative like that, right? Bear in mind while I might be a bit dark and twisty, I am still a trained therapist, I know how to make dark and twisty function almost as well as bright and cheery (and seriously what kind of person is that happy ALL the time anyway).

I got pretty lucky when I met Tony. He is just as dark and twisty as I am, if not more so. We have a very affectionate and spirited marriage that regularly involves play fighting. Our new neighbor didn't know what to do with us the other day as we stood in the yard laughingly jabbing elbows and hurling insults. He finally gave up, smiled, and said "You guys are hilarious".

(and that would be ice down my wedding dress, Round 2-Tony)

You see Tony has let me be me, even when being me means letting some of the angry out (I've had a lot to be angry about in my life but that's not a story for today). Funny thing is when someone accepts you for who you are, the angry starts to go away, and you're left with all the good stuff that was hiding behind it. We're certainly not the model of a "normal" marriage. He's purposely gross, I purposely rib gouge, but we're best friends, and we give as good as we get. It's like Tony always says, "If we were nicer to each other we' probably just get bored and move on".

So while our marriage may require protective gear at times (kidding mom, we were zip lining!), I got to love that this Grumpy Gus loves my F*ed up, Insecure, Neurotic, Emotional (get it? F.I.N.E., counselor humor hehe) dark and twisty butt.

"A fair is a veritable smorgasbord orgasbord orgasbord."

2011-11-07T14:19:00.000-05:00

You all remember Templeton from Charlotte's Web, you know, the rat. Well there is this song sings while he runs under the fairgrounds, and it was stuck in my head the whole time we walked around the NC State Fair a few weeks ago. I think it started when Alexis asked what we were going to do at the fair and Tony answered, straight faced, that we planned to jump in the trash bins and play around. Gotta love my hubs dry sense of humor. Makes the kids laugh so what the hey.

Anywho, the girls had a blast. There were rides, food, candy, and livestock. We even consented to one of the pay per person side shows that housed live bears in a trailer that from the outside didn't look like it would hold live people let alone half ton bears but it did. Playful guys too, acted just as I would have imagined gigantic dogs would, playing with tires instead of chew toys.

Alexis had a blast on the rides. She was terribly disappointed that she wasn't tall enough for most of the rides but she made the most of the ones that allowed her on with an adult.

(poor Tony had to ride the spinning ones with her, I can't handle these beasts anymore)

Bella was even allowed on a few rides: The Mouse Trap (a cat and mouse version of a Haunted House) which Tony and Bella enjoyed while I closed my eyes and did my best to blindly comfort a screaming Alexis and the Ferris Wheel, which we all enjoyed.

Since Bella only got to do a few rides, we found other things that she could do with us.

She had a blast, and I suspect she hardly knew she'd missed out on anything.

I loved watching the girls check out all of the farm animals, especially the cows.

The geese however were another matter

These suckers were trying to bite through the cages. I'm glad Bella got over her fear of loud knows cause these guys would have sent her packing a few weeks ago.

All in all we had a great time, and fun was had by all. Tony and I ate ourselves sick, and the girls loved having an excuse to eat all junk food all the time. I'll leave you with a lovely pic of one of my favorites noms of the day

(chocolate covered strawberry kabob. I die!)

ugh

2011-11-07T04:44:00.000-05:00

Ever heard of interstial cystitis? Probably not right? Thats probably a good thing. I had never heard of it either, at least not until I was diagnosed with it.

So what is IC? IC is "a long-term (chronic) inflammation of the bladder wall" source. What does that mean? Well really the short, not totally embarrassing talk about my bladder version is I did something wrong, ate something wrong, drank something wrong, got too stressed, missed a few med doses, something my bladder is not liking and now it is 4:18 am and I am awake and in P.A.I.N.

I have been up for the past 3 hours doing my usual IC flair up routine:

take a bunch of meds
lie awake in bed hoping it won't get too bad
accept that it's getting bad
take more meds
eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich so meds don't cause vomiting
drink a TON of water
take a hot bath
drink more water
sit up for hours waiting for the sheer lack of sleep to over power the pain response and knock me back out

It's a fluid process and goes back and worth several times, usually lasting 6-8 hours. I know sucks doesn't it.

Let me tell you how much it sucks, I have a presentation in 5 hours, a 1 hour's drive distance away (you try driving with a spasm-ing bladder, so not cool). I'm guessing class this morning isn't going to happen. Hopefully my prof is understanding and doesn't hate/fail me for this. I'm emailing my materials to him as we speak (or type rather).

As difficult of a position as this particular flair up is putting me in, it's really not worst predicament IC has caused me. A few weeks ago Tony went on a hiking trip with his oldest brother while the girls and I stayed home because of work, school, etc. I had a flair up one night that week. Talk about a crash course in parenting. Keeping a brave face, cooking dinner, helping with homework, feeding children, all the usual stuff, plus being in immense pain is HARD! Our 2 yr old isn't too difficult to distract but our poor tender-hearted 6 yr old pretty much can't find out anything is wrong or else she worries over it for days. Literally days. When I had my wisdom teeth taken out, she checked in with me several times daily for weeks to see "is your tooth still hurting you? maybe we should go to the doctor"

So sure it might be now 4:42 am and I might have an estimated 2-3 more hours of this but at least my girls and my husband get to sleep on blissfully unawares and I can whimper and eat my pb&j without fear of discovery

"It's quiet...too quiet"

2011-11-06T20:25:00.000-05:00

Usually we think of fireworks as being pretty great, right? And literal ones typically are, but the non-literal, verbal, interpersonal ones that have been going off in my house since yesterday? Not so so groovy.

This is the part where I type a bunch of stuff that I really shouldn't put out onto the internet, reread it, realize that I shouldn't put it out there, and delete it. Bah!

Have no illusions, being a step-parent is hard, and is not for the faint of heart. I knew this going in to my marriage and took it on happily. I knew what baggage came with my new family. It's not that I'm complaining about that really, it's just that the last 6 months I have gotten a taste of what our life is like without the baggage and now that I'm having to face reality again, I'm having some growing pains. :-(

"had a bad day again"

2011-11-04T20:34:00.001-04:00

Ok so no today was not a bad day, today was actually a pretty good day. It's really tomorrow that I expect to be bad. Tomorrow is the day that I've been dreading. I talked about it here, so I won't go into another lengthy explanation. The short version is that the first wife is going to be back tomorrow. She called tonight to schedule a visit with the kids tomorrow afternoon. We told them they'd see her then, they're excited. I wish I could share in their enthusiasm...

"Its not easy being green"

2011-11-04T11:15:00.000-04:00

I have a ~~slightly~~ unhealthy attachment to the color green. We have been in a serious relationship for about 15 years now and really as much as I love Tony, I don't see Green and I parting ways any time soon.

My poor husband, who was pretty big on neutral and slightly more saturated than pastel colors, has had to adjust his mindset on appropriate color choices for home decor since marrying me. I LOVE color, and given the choice I'll choose green 9 times out of 10. The remaining 1 time is because I feel bad for making Tony live in a green room and want to "compromise" with something like say a bright orange (hallway color, LOVE it).

When it came time for registering for wedding presents, I knew I wanted one thing. A KitchenAid standing mixer. If you have one you understand, if you don't you have no idea how much easier your life could be. Imagine my joy when this bad boy made it's way into my home.

Pinterest is certainly not helping with the obsession. I can't get this bathroom out of my mind since I repinned it from my sister-in-law's sister's pinterest board.

My lovely, generous, wonderful little 6 year old doesn't help either. The sweetheart "surprised" me with a green glow stick last night because "I know green's your favorite color, Mom"

(seriously how did I get such a sweetie for a daughter)

And this room by Girl in Air simply makes me giddy

And just to fully stress the point of my obsession. Check out some wedding pics

(Can you guess Tony's favorite color?)

(insert child's full Christian name here) "we do not" (fill in various misbehavior here)"

2011-10-29T01:18:00.001-04:00

It's funny, every time I tell someone how old the girls are they inevitably respond with some variation of "Oh (two/six) is a fun age". And while yes I suppose that both girls are at "fun ages", I am here to bear witness that 2 and 6 are also, at times very NOT fun ages. And as a new step-parent I would LOVE for people to stop trying to rosey parenthood up for me and be honest about what having kids at these ages is really like, cause there are times that I would probably pay millions (well no not millions but at least $5) just to hear someone say that kids at these ages do (fill in random misbehavior), and its perfectly NORMAL.

Unless you are the parent of a child who is not biologically related to you, you most likely do not understand the pressure I put on myself to "parent right". You probably grew out of that stage by the time your kid hit one and you realized they wouldn't break if you left the room for 2 consecutive minutes. I am still fully in that stage. I want to do everything "right". And being that the hubs works swing shifts (2:30pm-11:45pm), this often has to include disciplining the "right" way too. And man oh man, do you have any idea what kind of pressure there is in disciplining someone else's kid (yes they are mine in my heart but you know what I mean)!

I bring all this up because the girls and I had a rather tough night last night. Our oldest girl very nearly went to bed without dinner, while our youngest had a conniption fit because she had to take a shower (oh the horrors) after standing right in front of the potty, pants already down, and peeing all over herself (we've had great success with potty training, but every once in awhile this happens and I don't know why, perhaps confusion from seeing the little boys at day care go to the potty?)

Bella's story is short. She peed, she cried/screamed. She showered, she screamed/cried. She got out dressed herself for bed and all was right in the world again. "Hi Ree, ah bah dee" (she switches back and forth between calling me Mommy, and Ree (short for Marie) and ah bah dee is her made up word for well evything, she's even composed an ah bah dee song that she sings in the bath).

Alexis was a bit more complicated. She is in the first grade and is learning to read. Every night her teacher sends home a choice board and Alexis picks what she wants to do for her homework that night. For the past month or so I've been having her pick and do her homework on her own while I cook dinner. Last night we followed this routine per usual but when she brought me her work to check over, it wasn't done the way her directions said it should be. Long story short, at some point she memorized her homework choices (so she wouldn't have to read them) and was doing her assignments the way she'd remembered them rather than the way they were written. Thus began the 2 HOUR struggle to get her to read he homework choice (not all of the choices, just the one she'd chosen to complete last night). Before you judge, you should know that Alexis can read quite well. She's very good at sounding out the letters, remembering the rules about long and short vowels , and how letter sounds can go together (c+h=ch). Unfortunately, she does not like to read. I'd said it's fair to say she HATES it with all the passion 6 yr old girl can muster. Thus the 2 hour struggle. It wasn't that she COULDN'T read her homework but rather that she WOULDN'T.

There were tears, there was time out, there were excuses, bargaining, she even began hoping up and down at one point during the height of a temper tantrum. All the while I sat in the same place I'd been, spoke to her in a calm and even voice, and explained her choices. Homework first then dinner (as always) or if she continued to refuse to do her homework (which was really just fixing it so it matched the directions) she would also be refusing dinner. (I took a gamble on this one, as Alexis generally doesn't give a hoot about food. Sometimes I think she'd go a week without eating if we let her). She chose no homework and no dinner (backfire!). I had to get creative, I could not let my husband's kid go to bed hungry but I didn't want to be the push over that let her get away with temper tantrums. I improvised and repeatedly mentioned how hungry she must be having not had dinner yet. I eventually wore her down, she read the assignment in 3 minutes flat, scarfed down her dinner, and got herself ready and into bed (phew an entire evening's routine condensed into about 7 minutes).

So despite the fact that I did not yell, scream, spank, or any of the other various methods of punishment that are oh so ineffective (at least in my house), I'm still left worrying that I messed it all up. That she'll hold this one night against me and I really will be the Evil Stepmother in her mind.

So no, I tell you no, by no means is 6 an all around fun age. As for 2, they call it the terrible 2's for a reason people!

5 Simple Pleasures

2011-10-27T20:13:00.001-04:00

5 simple easy things that make me Smile

1. The AirFork One

(You know you love it too)

2. The Tiniest Staircase to Nowhere I ever did see

3. Anything and Everything Midcentury Mod

(Loretta's Vendetta in Boone, NC. I die!)

4. Small children and stationary objects

(I'm partial to the two on the right, but the cutie on the left is pretty great too)

5. This guy

(oh come on he's goofy & he looks good in a uniform, what more can you ask for?)

"I'm packing you an extra pair of shoes, and your angry eyes just in case."

2011-10-26T21:17:00.001-04:00

Toy Story is pretty big at my house.

Alexis has been requesting to be Jessie for Halloween since last summer, not this past summer, the one BEFORE it, (we didn't pick out the Halloween costumes last year, and the person who did, decided she would be a PRINCESS, long story short, princesses haven't been too popular in our house since).

Now, while I am planning to make her Jessie costume (because the ones at the store are both ridiculously over priced and in my humble opinion quite ugly/cheap looking), this is not that post. That post is coming I promise, just not yet.

This post is the one where I tell you how I made her sister's costume.

Being that Bella is only 2 and the majority of her speech is still a mixture of Mandarin and Russian (not really, but this is how it sounds to me) she really didn't have much input on what she would be this year.

I decided to stick with the Toy Story theme, so the girls would make a cute little pair when we go trick or treating. At first I wanted to make her Hamm ( the piggy bank). I had big plans for making a giant cardboard quarter to stick to her back. The hubs, however, had doubts, and after a few days of "gentle" persuasion, I gave in. Thankfully he did have a BRILLIANT alternative to offer (good thing too cause I had no clue how I was going to pull off a 3 eyed martian, which was my next idea).

Mrs. Potato Head!

I started with this as my inspiration

Shouldn't be too hard, right?

I grabbed an adult S brown T-shirt and a packet of felt at Jo-Anne's, armed myself with my handy dandy glue gun and was off.

The mouth was first. I figured once I had a size for that I could base the size of the rest of the "pieces" off of that. I fold my red felt in half (to keep everything symmetrical) then drew and cut a half mouth shape.

When I unfold it I had this (I used a black Sharpie to add the detail)

I used the same method to cut the various pieces for the eyes which consisted of several layers of different colors of felt

The tiny white circles didn't make it to the final costume (hubs again) but you'll see that in a bit. Next up was the nose and then ears. Imagine a pink oval, and then two pink half ovals.

I placed everything on the T-shirt to get an idea of how I wanted to lay things out.

Not too shabby, huh?

Thankfully I tested the layout actually on Bella before attaching anything, because I found that if I left things the way they were, there'd be no gathering the t-shirt at the bottom (to round things out, you know like a potato) or I'd lose the mouth altogether, so everything got moved up and had to get a little creative with the placement of her hat.

The final layout looked like this

I folded the sleeves into the shirt, I haven't decided what to do with them yet but I think it looks better without them.

I snipped a hole in both the bottom hem and the neck hem, and ran ribbons through both. Tying a safety pin to one end of the ribbon and feeding it through, makes this so much easier (learned this trick Girl Scouts about a million years ago)

Bella graciously agreed to model her new costume, "Oooo Coot"

She's stuffed with a throw pillow here. I'm not sure if this is a final solution, it's a bit on the square side for a potato. I may try to actually stuff her with pillow stuffing I've got laying around for a future project, but that has potential for serious potty drama.

What do you guys think we should use?

"It's almost Trick or Treat time you know"

2011-10-25T21:04:00.001-04:00

I had been seeing lovely little book page pumpkins like these all over the blog world.

The first guy there was done by Erin over at Stumbling Tongues. The cutie in the middle is by Kara at Creations by Kara. And the collection on the left is one of Country Home's holiday how to's.

With all this inspiration, I just knew I was going to have to try one out.

I kind of mixed both Erin and Kara's tutorials together and came up with this guy

He might not have been as pretty as some of those who came before him but he was mine and I loved him.

So how did I make my little paperback pumpkin that could?

First I gathered my materials:

old paperback novel from my give away pile

pen or pencil (to draw with)

super sharp utility knife (shhh don't tell Tony but I stole it from him)

scissors

stick from the yard

leftover yellow and red acrylic paints (and paint brush)

hot glue gun

Poor unsuspecting paperback has no idea that seemingly innocent knife next to it is about to change it's life forever

First I free handed a pumpkin shape onto the first page (I skipped the cover but left it in tact to cut down with scissors later, the knife probably would have worked but it seemed a tad dangerous)

The knife and I hacked and hacked until the poor innocent paperback looked like this

(told you those scissors were going to make a cameo)

Then it was time to paint out the edges. I mixed together some left over red and yellow acrylic paint to get ~~the perfect~~ an acceptable shade of orange, painted just the edges of the pages and let that dry. It didn't take long, about 30 minutes. The acrylic paint made the pages stick together in kind of bunches, which I thought worked well since the pages didn't seem to want to spread around too terribly evenly and the paint clumping them together at least kept them from all moving back to their original spots, i.e. one big clump of pages resembling a book instead of a pumpkin.

I hot glued the front and back covers together to make my little guy round out. I also hot glued a stick from the yard to the top for a steam, and Voila! My little paperback pumpkin that could

He had the perfect spot right here

between my painted dollar store pumpkins a top the wood burning stove/fireplace in the living room (notice the empty spot, ignore the dust that painfully marks the empty spot)

Where has my little guy gone you ask?

A whole host of d-words happened to him. Destroyed. Devoured. Digested. Discarded. In a word?

Delilah.

With less than a week left before Halloween, do I dare attempt another paperback pumpkin ????

Probably.

That sucker was a cutie, and he would make a great centerpiece for a Fall tablescape after the spooktacular holiday has passed...

"Mommy has been gone a long time"

2011-10-24T16:27:00.001-04:00

I briefly mentioned my husband's first wife, here, and have since avoided mentioning her existence. There is a reason for this. The first wife is currently an unfelt presence in our lives. Why is this? Well it's because she's not here right now. She joined the military reserves and has been in training since May.

I just deleted a fairly lengthy entry detailing the difficulties we have had with the first wife in the time that she has been gone. Why? Because even in trying to be as fair and generous as possible, I found that I had very little to say that if found by the girls one day, wouldn't destroy their opinions of at least one of the two of their moms.

The first wife will graduate and return home in a few weeks, and I've got some anxiety about it. And by some I mean A LOT. I don't have any idea what is going to happen when she gets back. I hope that she decides to be an involved, supportive member of a 3 parent team but that hasn't been the case in the past. The past has been a combination of ~~nonexistent~~ mis-communication, missed appointments, "forgotten" events that occurred in front of/around/to the kids, attempts to reconcile with MY husband, public Facebook rants when these attempts failed, and a whole host of other awkward/tense/upsetting situations that don't even include the checks "that must have gotten lost in the mail because I know I paid that last month".

There I go again possibly influencing future opinions, but I really can't find a better way of expressing my fears/nervousness at this point. Believe me I've tried, this is actually the 5th version of this post that I've written today. I just deleted another whole section that took me an hour to write and a minute to reread and realize I should not publish.

Lets just say I have a few things to be concerned about... lets not forget that the girls started calling me Mom AFTER the first wife left for boot camp. I absolutely adore being Mom, but I am so not looking forward to the first time they call me that in front of the first wife. I foresee scratching, biting, hair-pulling, and perhaps a few eye gouges...wish me luck!

"I just loooove going at the mountains"

2011-10-22T01:20:00.000-04:00

Alexis has been asking about going camping for months. I'm not 100% sure that she quite understands the concept of camping but in theory she wants to do it quite badly.

Last weekend we took an impromptu family trip to the mountains of NC, Boone, NC specifically. I had a work related conference that I was presenting at and Tony was going to have to take the time off work any way to watch the girls at night since I wouldn't be there, so it suddenly made perfect sense for everyone to go.

We decided that it was time to give into the demands of our lovely little lady and go "camping". "Camping" for a six year old and a two year old reads a one room cabin with electricity in a fairly modern campground but really come on she's only six, no way she'd figure out that's not "real" camping, right? Wrong. We were busted pretty much from the get go.

But hey both girls had a blast, and by day 2 Bella even managed to over come her mind-boggling fear over public restrooms. Seriously prior to this trip if you even mentioned going potty while in a public place she would begin screaming at the top of her lungs and literally drop so that if you wanted to take her to the potty, you were going to have to literally drag her dead weight style, while listening to her high pitch screech. Needless to say this phobia has greatly interfered with potty training as all extended outings have lead to urine soaked panties, pants, socks, shoes, and anything else that happened to be in the line of fire.

But I digress, the weekend turned out great. There were "hikes" and creeks, vintage shopping in downtown Boone, and some pretty fantastic eats (s'mores included). I got some pretty great shots to share, the later half of the weekend is on my phone since some one with tiny tiny fingers managed to shove paper inside of my camera while I had the battery pack out charging, wonder who that could have been....Anywho, anybody have a good quick way to get a lot pictures off a phone at once. I've fired my usb and email is just not cooperating with me :-(

Here are some goodies that did make it off the camera before it ~~was brutally murdered~~ mysteriously died.

Don't let the little one fool you, we've had to take her in for questioning...

"I know you're making the house sooo creepy"

2011-10-20T23:31:00.001-04:00

Hubs and I bought our Halloween costumes yesterday. We took a risk and ordered off Amazon, so we're crossing our fingers that they get here in time to go out next weekend. Last year we ended up going out as "The Really Good Looking Couple" (at least this is what we told people we were instead of owning up to the fact that we'd forgotten to buy costumes and had to go out in normal fancy dress wear). Honestly we're not doing much different this year. We're going as a masquerade couple so still fancy dress wear but there are masks this time and I think people will at least know what we are without asking this time.

Anywho today's post really isn't about costumes so much, though I may come back to that in a later post (I'm going to attempt to make Alexis' and Bella's this year, bum bum buuuummm).

Today's post is on a little project I completed last week for the grand total cost of..........

(insert cheering here)

I was inspired by this sophisticated-ly creepy little guy from Etsy dealer UnseenCurios, who goes for $6.99 plus shipping.

Not a bad price by any stretch, but I just knew I could get the look for less. (Besides did I mention we actually BOUGHT costumes this year? I don't know about you but I only budget for but so much for each holiday and Halloween is definitely on the lower end of the group)

So first things first I gathered my supplies:

Bat silhouettes from the dollar store..... $1
lighter (already had).............................$0
Book page (from an old text book)......$0
2 black frames (wedding gift)...............$0

Now to be completely honest when I bought the bats I thought they were decals that I could stick all over the wall and be done with. However, when I got them home, I discovered that they were simply cut from heavy weight construction paper. They also had lots of little detail cutouts, that were not all the way CUT OUT, and that had to be individually removed from each bat without tearing the rest of the bat to pieces.

See all the bends and creases in this guy? Yeah those are the results of attempting not to tear him up while removing all of the little details.

No worries, the creases aren't visible when he's sandwiched in the frame under glass.

I decided to up the creep factor a bit by burning out parts of the book page ( I used an old Corrections text book, it was the "creepiest thing I had on hand, and it was the right size for the frames)

I did manage to burn myself once from hold the lighter on so long (the metal bits get quite hot), so it might be better to use the kind of lighter that stays lit without you messing with it, like a Zippo or something similarly designed.

After that I popped everything into the frames

and

Voila...

Two framed bat silhouettes for 2/3 of the price of one on Etsy.

These guys will be taking up residence on either side of our Halloween themed mantle (I'll get around to showing you that soon enough).

For now thats it. Enjoy the fancy creep factor.

"More than a Memory"

2011-10-18T23:02:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had the chance to witness true love? Not the kind of love we read about in fairy tales, but real life, true love? I have.

These lovely people standing with 18 year old me are my real life example of true love, my grandparents. Aren't they beautiful? When you look at these two people, you might think you're seeing two well suited individuals who met, fell in love, and enjoyed a long happy marriage, but you would be wrong.

What you are looking at is the two halves of one soul. What one lacked, the other supplied enough for the two of them. When my grandfather lost his hearing, my grandmother was his ears. When my grandmother's asthma became too bad to allow for regular conversation, my grandfather became her voice. They would pass notes to each other all day and never missed a beat. And they danced, not the way that people dance today in crowded clubs with liquid courage, but really danced the way they did in old black and white movies. They danced as one, twirling through a room with a grace that I've long since given up hope to have inherited.

So why this trip down memory land? Sherry of Young House Love posted a give away this week. Entry required commenting on a piece of jewelry that you wear every day and why. I chose to comment on my wedding band. I know what this ring means to me but sharing that with the blog world was a bit more emotional than I would have imagined. You see my wedding band (I wear one band that served as my engagement ring and now my wedding band) is not your traditional previous metal ring. My wedding band is actually a 4 stone dinner ring designed by my grandfather and hand made for my grandmother as a gift, a token of his love for her.

In the year that I have worn it, my ring has come to represent, in my mind, the love between my husband and I. I forget to remember where the ring came from, the love that originally represented. I hope that this ring has a memory better than mine. I hope it recalls the true love that formed it, and I hope that it will carry that love into my own marriage.

I love you honey.

I love you Grandma and Grandpa.

"Storms make oaks take roots."

2011-10-17T21:15:00.000-04:00

A storm. Thats what I feel like. I have sooooooooo much school work piling on top of me, I mean Ph.D. type homework, like BIG stuff, and I can't seem to make myself motivated to do it. This is what I want, right? I want to get this degree, and teach at a university, and raise new counselors right? Right? Right. Right? Ugh. Between becoming a wife and a mother, trying my hand at diy home decor, traveling with the family, I don't know there are so many other things that I want to be doing right now besides Biostatistics. Biostatistics that is due tomorrow. Tomorrow tomorrow, like less than 24 hours away. I can do this. I think I can I think I can I think I can