The Lizard Magazine

The Week in Review by DOMINIC HILTON

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 02:40:18 PST

Castro's grave departure, the science of the G-spot, and a coupla urine stories: all the news you really need to know from the week gone by.

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Curve-Crawling with Jacqui Smith

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Sat, 23 Feb 2008 06:16:56 PST

The Lizard Editorial: Born to Lead! By Dominic Hilton and A S H Smyth. Britain�s Home Secretary, the woman famous for braving the unlit streets of Hackney (with only a squad of armed Security...

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The 10 Best First-Date Movies

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 08:45:34 PST

By DOMINIC HILTON & A S H SMYTH. For a surprisingly romantic evening.

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Racial slurs, Gorilla sex... it's Liberty Bellen

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 08:46:12 PST

With ELLEN CHARLES in Nutsville, Maryland. All the latest news from North America, including indecently tight pants.

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Wub: Now Buy Me A Beer

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:30:35 PST

By MARC SIDWELL. "Here I am, inventor of a way you can massively boost the amount of time spent in the pub, but you can't pay me; so there's no motivation to share my extraordinary...

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10 Tattoos You Should Never Get

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:30:54 PST

The quintessential list of painted no-nos.

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The Future's Bright (for the dim)

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:31:27 PST

The Lizard Editorial: "When the most criminal durbrain on the street is transformed into Albert Einstein by a simple surgical procedure, those of us who have spent decades fine-tuning our...

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Hugh Jafee's Balkan Expense Account

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:31:46 PST

Kosovan independence: as inevitable as the Mexican takeover of Texas. By SIR HUGH JAFEE, QC

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Sausage protests, Northern ghouls: "In continental news..."

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:32:17 PST

With G. RHYDIAN MORGAN in Transportnyy, Russia, TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 19, 2008. All the essential news from across Europe, including the undiplomatic sound of French flatulence.

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Everybody must get stoned

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:32:38 PST

The Lizard Editorial: In light of the remarks made by Archbishop Rowan Williams, The Lizard magazine appeals for greater understanding of its own internal culture and demands respect for the...

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Cloned Boogers? Asia on my Mind...

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:32:58 PST

... with HIRAN BALASURIYA in Fuxin, China. MONDAY, FEBRUARY 18, 2008. Impotent witch-trials, supernatural adolescents, and cloned Boogers; all the latest news from Asia.

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Lipsmacker's dirty tea towel

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:33:20 PST

Nude Today with DR. WILLIAM A. LIPSMACKER. Dr. William A. Lipsmacker examines a very dirty tea towel (by Picasso).

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The Week in Review by DOMINIC HILTON

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:34:58 PST

Dolly's boobs, Fonda's "c***", and Israel's "dispriapic" tactics - all the news you really need to know from the week gone by. SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 16,...

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Mayor Vader, penis chopping ... The Lizard of Oz

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:35:38 PST

... and a florist's Valentine's rose ban: all the latest news from Australasia and the Pacific Islands. With ROB STEERS in Indooroopilly.

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HKZ visits his (very distant) family

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 21 Feb 2008 03:39:09 PST

Kultur Kolum mit PROFESSOR HANS KNEESENBOOM-ZEDEYSIE. Herr Professor HKZ dissects Boer kultur on a trip to visit his South African relatives. "What I took to be some sort of family tradition...

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ELLEN CHARLES on Naked Cowboys

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 05:21:29 PST

Liberty Bellen with ELLEN CHARLES in Crapo, Maryland. Sexless marriages, Naked Cowboys, and Valentine's narcissism: all the latest news from North America.

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Ave Sharia! (and Sumerian dentistry...)

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:32:27 PST

If Britain is going to adopt sharia law, then there is no reason why it shouldn't also adopt some of the practices of other cultures and civilisations - like Aztec penis sacrifice. by DOMINIC...

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Ask Auntie Al-Zawahiri

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:30:16 PST

The Lizard has unlawfully unearthed a handful of the unanswered questions left for Al-Qaida's designated agony aunt, Dr. Ayman al-Zawahiri...

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Wordforeplay

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 04:29:11 PST

My Funny Valentaine by AMY EVANS. Amy Evans waxes lyrical about tongue positions in her hyper-literary Valentine's kiss.

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Hot animals? How to be rich? Emma Answers

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:19:41 PST

The Lizard's new bi-weekly agony aunt dispenses her expert advice on everything from Anna Karenina in the bedroom to bestiality in the woods. "If you�re prepared to have hamster mix...

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Why not bug your MP?

editors@lizardmaagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:12:53 PST

What does the bugging of MPs mean for your civil liberties? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. SIR HUGH JAFEE, QC lights your ire.

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Rodent sunscreen, padlocked bars... Cool beans!

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:21:01 PST

All the latest news from South America, with DON RODRIGO JESUS RODRIGO JESUS RODRIGO JESUS RODRIGUEZ, in Antofagasta, Chile. Including helmet-crested duck-billed dinosaurs.

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National Scam Month: where do I sign?

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 14:27:37 PST

A salutary tale of Guinness, water-boarding, and jaw-dropping credulity. by A S H SMYTH.

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Bodybuilder heroes and Serbian miniskirts... 'In continental news...'

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 07:05:12 PST

All the latest news from Europe, with G. RHYDIAN MORGAN in Knockaboy, EIRE.

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Blue roses, stringent drugs laws... Asia on my Mind

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 06:12:49 PST

...and kidnapping for sex: all the latest news from Asia, with Hiran Balasuriya.

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The daintiest names in rugby

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 05:18:56 PST

The Lizard celebrates the pretty names and not-so-pretty faces in professional rugby today.

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A Very British Weather Report

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 04:38:49 PST

by DOMINIC HILTON, MARC SIDWELL & A S H SMYTH. Britain must be the only country where everything is basically great except the weather.

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Nude Today: bronze buttocks at UCL

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 02:20:34 PST

DR. WILLIAM A. LIPSMACKER has his memory stirred in University College London's front quad.

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The Week in Review by DOMINIC HILTON

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Sun, 10 Feb 2008 02:16:13 PST

Nude air travel, high heel sex, and how Posh Spice is pushing America towards recession.

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The Lizard of Oz

editors@lizardmagazine.com (Dominic Hilton) — Fri, 08 Feb 2008 08:51:22 PST

Elderly sex workers, dangerous dunnies, and smelly teens: all the latest news from Australasia and the Pacific Islands. by ROB STEERS in Wolloomooloo.

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