.:: The Daily Toilet Seat ::.

Joke of the day

2005-06-08T05:42:00.000Z

A man stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for his wife. As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on his bouquet, another man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses. "I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch."

The desperate customer turned to the other man and begged, "May I please have those roses?"

"What happened?" the first man asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"

"It's even worse than that," the second man confided. "I crashed my wife's hard disk drive."

Have a nice day! :)

Oooh never knew that...

2005-06-07T16:42:00.000Z

Do you know the only location in the US where the boundaries of four states join in one place?

Posted the answer in the comments, if you want to see it.

Most disgusting thing I've ever seen

2005-06-07T02:25:00.000Z

Met a man yesterday who grew his thumb nail to about an inch or so. I asked him why only that particular nail was long and he gave me a few uses for it:

Can pick your ear with it
Can pick you nose with it
Great for strumming the guitar
Perfect for scratching
Great for blackheads
Oh... and, it's useful for slicing fruit open (esp. mango and kiwi)

Just lost my appetite.

For the women...

2005-06-07T02:18:00.000Z

When shopping for perfume, it's best to carry a cup of coffee with you. The aroma of the coffee neutralizes any smells lingering in your noses. So when you're ready to sniff-test another perfume, just take a whiff of your cup-of-chino first :)

Did you know...

2005-06-07T02:07:00.000Z

That the majority of our planet's population can't lick their elbows?

(bet you're dying to try it right now... ;)

And that the distance between your elbow and wrist is approximately the size of your foot?

*Update* And when we spread our arms out that's how tall we are, from fingertip to fingertip. (thanks, Chyrene!)

Never post your picture online

2005-06-07T02:00:00.000Z

Before

After

New line of pacifiers

2005-06-06T06:35:00.000Z

You gotta get your kids one of these :)

Find the nine people

2005-06-06T05:25:00.000Z

There are nine people in this picture:

Find 6, and you have ordinary powers of obervation.

Find 7, you're observation skills are above average.

Find 8, you are superior to 90% of individuals.

Find 9, you can rival Sherlock Holmes.

Posting the solution in the comments. No cheating :)

Nemo has been found!

2005-06-06T04:53:00.000Z

Sadly, the sushi chef in Japan didn't know people we're looking for him.

iGuy for iPod

2005-06-06T04:11:00.000Z

This has got to be one of the best iPod holders out there. It's called iGuy, and kinda reminds you of Gumby, complete with flexibly arms and legs. It's not completly useless though. It's a great iPod holder for work where you can hang your keys on his arms or rest your cellphone on him.

You can see more of him here.

mini iGuy will be ready by July.

Indian woman chops off husband's penis

2005-06-06T02:03:00.000Z

It's Loreena all over again.

Somehow, a man can't go to sleep peacefully these days...

But, here's are 10 good reasons Loreena Bobbit should be president:

10. She could be the first woman president.
9. Has unique way of dealing with out of line congressmen and senators.
8. Would have big emotional advantage negotiating with male heads of state of foriegn powers.
7. "First Man Knocks the Pres Around" would make great story for Weekly World News or the Star.
6. If she was acquitted in this trial, she should be able to get away with murder in the White House.
5. If she get's out of line, we could rename it The Red House.
4. Could include clause in Health Care package to not include severed organ reattatchment.
3. People would take her seriously when she says she's tough on violent crime offenders.
2. Better than any candidate the Republicans or Democrats have to offer.
1. Has shown her self capable of cutting the budget deficit.

Got that from an email.

Splash-free urinals

2005-06-06T01:29:00.000Z

This is so practical that I wonder if it really works...

Guys, let me know what you think.

Best driving seat out there

2005-06-05T02:42:00.000Z

Here's a plumber's truck pretty much advertising itself :)

Palindromes

2005-06-05T01:51:00.000Z

Palindromes are words or phrases that read the same backwards as forward. Here are some neat examples:

Go deliver a dare, vile dog!

Madam, in Eden i'm Adam

May a moody baby doom a yam?

Do geese see God?

Murder for a jar of red rum

Never odd or even

Dogma: I am God

Too bad -- I hid a boot

A man, a plan, a canal: Panama

Sentences wth all the letters

2005-06-05T01:46:00.000Z

These are known as holalphabetic sentences or pangrams. These are used by most typographers for browsing fonts:

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

Waltz, bad nymph, for quick jigs vex

How piqued gymnasts can level six jumping razorback frogs

We promptly judged antique ivory buckles for the next page

Sixty zippers were quickly picked from the woven jute bag

Jump by vow of quick, lazy strength in Oxford

Jackdaws love my big spinx of quartz

Update: Changed 'jumped' to 'jumps'. (Thanks to Tom and Icy)

Picture: Dude, what do you think it is?

2005-06-04T17:21:00.000Z

Some random pic I picked up guys :) haha!

Random: Star Wars and the Pope

2005-06-04T17:05:00.000Z

It struck me that Darth Sidious in Revenge of the Sith looked strikingly similar to Pope Benedict XIV.

Hmmm.. could it be?

Videos: Scremer scares strangers

2005-06-04T05:38:00.000Z

This is a must see! An Asian screamer scares the begeebees out of total strangers by shouting in their ear. Their reactions will make you pee in your pants :)

Download it here.

And in this video, Constantine of American Idol fame, er, falls. This one is very embarrassing! Tried to be cute, but fell flat. Literally.

Credit: Ebaum's World

Tech: Apple shares dip on slow iPod sales

2005-06-04T01:57:00.000Z

Shares of Apple Computer fell more than 4% Friday on reports that sales of its iPod digital music player appear to be slowing. Investment firm Goldman Sachs said in a report Thursday that it expects shipments of Apple's digital music player to be flat this quarter. Internet news site AppleInsider.com also reported Thursday that Apple has a glut of most iPod models, especially the recently launched iPod Shuffle.

Source.

Entertainment: Jackson clan support Michael

2005-06-04T01:40:00.000Z

With Janet, LaToya and clutching his mother's arm, Michael Jackson arrived for the finale of his child sex trial yesterday. Tension among the fans and media thronging the Santa Maria court complex peaked as the jury retired to determine the singer's fate after sitting through 14 weeks of lurid and often bizarre testimony about the erstwhile King of Pop's alleged abuse of a 13-year-old boy.

News: Pentagon Details Abuse Of Koran

2005-06-04T01:22:00.000Z

The U.S. military released new details yesterday about five confirmed cases of U.S. personnel mishandling the Koran at the Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, prison, acknowledging that soldiers and interrogators kicked the holy book, got copies wet, stood on a Koran during an interrogation and inadvertently sprayed urine on another copy.

Entertainment: Britney Spears enjoying pregnancy

2005-06-04T01:10:00.000Z

The 23 year old popstar has been enjoying every thing about her pregnancy, and she is not hiding it from the world.

Britney is Enjoying Every Bit of Her Pregnancy Britney reportedly got emotional looking at sonogram of her baby. "You can’t really say anything. I was emotional. I think it’s the best feeling in the world." Spears says that she hasn’t yet tried to find out whether it’s a boy or a girl.

She says she wants "three" kids. By the way, this baby will make three for her hubby Kevin Federline. She won’t reveal the sex of her baby but reportedly says, "I have a couple of names from when I was little that I always really liked."

Brit claims she doesn’t miss touring. "I’m sure there’s going to come a time when I get back to work again, but it’ll be a totally different way of life than it was before," she says.

But Britney, what about the sex? "I think it’s better than it was before," Spears tells People magazine. "I think its best. Sex is crazy good."

The 23-year-old pop star is due to give birth this fall.

Source

Tech: Apple to switch to Intel chips

2005-06-04T01:02:00.000Z

The rumors turned out to be true. Apple has formally announced the switch to Intel chips. Apple has used IBM's PowerPC processors since 1994, but will begin a phased transition to Intel's chips. Apple plans to move lower-end computers such as the Mac Mini to Intel chips in mid-2006 and higher-end models such as the Power Mac in mid-2007, sources said.

This does not mean however that their famed OS X will run on conventional x86 PCs. Although Steve Jobs has stated that they already have their OS running on Wintel PCs in the lab, this still have to decide whether they will market their OS in this manner.

Link

Report: Anxiety device aid busy Jap women

2005-06-03T17:34:00.000Z

Because of the increasingly busy lifestyle in Tokyo, more and more Japanese women are opting for an unmarried life, putting their careers as their first priority. Unfortunately this causes an emotional strain because of their lack of companionship. A Japanese company apparently has taken notice of this phenomenon and developed an anxiety aid to help women between the age of 24 and 30 cope with lonely nights.

Weird: Iron Mike Tyson fights for the birds

2005-06-03T15:46:00.000Z

He eats ears for a living and has been through hell in the country's worst prisons. But it turns out, the former heavyweight champ has a soft spot in fact: pigeons.

The former heavyweight boxing champion, who lives in Phoenix, stunned City Council members Wednesday by showing up unannounced at a subcommittee hearing and asking that they not impose new restrictions on the number of pigeons kept on residential property.

Link